Latest / Adult Child of Dysfunction / E 319: How Childhood Trauma Creates Emotional Numbness + How to Heal | Megan Margherio

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E 319: How Childhood Trauma Creates Emotional Numbness + How to Heal | Megan Margherio · Adult Child of Dysfunction

• 0:02
  Welcome
• 0:03
  back,
• 0:03
  everybody.
• 0:03
  Today
• 0:04
  we
• 0:04
  have
• 0:04
  with
• 0:04
  us
• 0:04
  Megan
• 0:05
  Margario.
• 0:06
  She
• 0:06
  is
• 0:06
  a
• 0:06
  speaker,
• 0:07
  a
• 0:07
  trauma
• 0:07
  informed
• 0:08
  embodiment
• 0:08
  coach,
• 0:09
  and
• 0:09
  author
• 0:09
  of
• 0:10
  Everwoven
• 0:11
  a
• 0:11
  memoir,
• 0:12
  A
• 0:12
  Reckoning.
• 0:13
  Certified
• 0:13
  in
• 0:14
  somatics
• 0:14
  and
• 0:14
  trauma
• 0:15
  sensitive
• 0:15
  yoga,
• 0:16
  she
• 0:16
  helps
• 0:17
  survivors
• 0:17
  reconnect
• 0:18
  with
• 0:18
  safety,
• 0:18
  joy
• 0:19
  and
• 0:19
  self
• 0:19
  trust.
• 0:20
  Welcome,
• 0:20
  Megan.
• 0:21
  Thank
• 0:21
  you.
• 0:21
  It's
• 0:21
  nice
• 0:22
  to
• 0:22
  be
• 0:22
  here.
• 0:23
  Yeah,
• 0:23
  I
• 0:23
  love,
• 0:24
  I
• 0:24
  was
• 0:24
  just
• 0:24
  saying
• 0:24
  before
• 0:24
  we
• 0:25
  got
• 0:25
  on
• 0:25
  here
• 0:25
  that
• 0:25
  I
• 0:25
  love
• 0:26
  actually
• 0:26
  digging
• 0:26
  into
• 0:27
  who
• 0:27
  the
• 0:27
  guests
• 0:27
  are
• 0:27
  going
• 0:27
  to
• 0:27
  be
• 0:28
  and
• 0:28
  really
• 0:28
  looking
• 0:28
  through
• 0:28
  their
• 0:29
  stuff.
• 0:29
  It
• 0:30
  was
• 0:30
  fun.
• 0:30
  But
• 0:30
  it's
• 0:30
  also
• 0:31
  eye
• 0:31
  opening
• 0:32
  as
• 0:32
  to
• 0:32
  the
• 0:32
  fact
• 0:32
  that
• 0:33
  so
• 0:33
  many
• 0:34
  people
• 0:34
  went
• 0:34
  through
• 0:35
  the,
• 0:35
  the
• 0:36
  exact
• 0:36
  same
• 0:36
  things.
• 0:37
  They
• 0:37
  had
• 0:37
  the
• 0:37
  same
• 0:38
  history.
• 0:38
  And
• 0:39
  I
• 0:39
  know
• 0:40
  when
• 0:40
  I
• 0:40
  started
• 0:41
  working
• 0:41
  with
• 0:41
  people,
• 0:42
  I
• 0:42
  started
• 0:42
  working
• 0:42
  with
• 0:42
  primarily
• 0:43
  adult
• 0:43
  children
• 0:44
  of
• 0:44
  alcoholics.
• 0:45
  That
• 0:45
  was
• 0:45
  my
• 0:45
  niche.
• 0:46
  I
• 0:46
  was
• 0:46
  in
• 0:46
  addiction
• 0:47
  and
• 0:47
  recovery
• 0:47
  specialists
• 0:48
  and
• 0:48
  I
• 0:48
  did
• 0:49
  all
• 0:49
  of
• 0:49
  that.
• 0:49
  And
• 0:49
  then
• 0:50
  the
• 0:51
  more
• 0:51
  people
• 0:51
  started
• 0:51
  coming
• 0:52
  to
• 0:52
  me
• 0:52
  and
• 0:52
  saying,
• 0:52
  wow,
• 0:53
  all
• 0:53
  of
• 0:53
  that
• 0:54
  resonates
• 0:54
  with
• 0:54
  me.
• 0:55
  But
• 0:55
  I
• 0:55
  didn't
• 0:55
  have
• 0:56
  an
• 0:56
  alcoholic
• 0:56
  in
• 0:56
  the
• 0:57
  family.
• 0:57
  It
• 0:57
  was
• 0:57
  like,
• 0:57
  cha
• 0:58
  Ching.
• 0:58
  Dysfunction
• 0:59
  is
• 0:59
  dysfunction
• 1:00
  and
• 1:00
  struggle
• 1:01
  is
• 1:01
  struggle.
• 1:02
  And
• 1:03
  it
• 1:03
  has
• 1:03
  the
• 1:03
  same
• 1:04
  effect,
• 1:04
  right?
• 1:05
  Oh,
• 1:05
  absolutely.
• 1:06
  And
• 1:06
  it's
• 1:06
  one
• 1:06
  of
• 1:06
  these
• 1:07
  things
• 1:07
  that
• 1:07
  when
• 1:07
  you
• 1:07
  been
• 1:08
  raised
• 1:08
  in
• 1:08
  a
• 1:08
  dysfunctional
• 1:09
  family,
• 1:09
  we
• 1:09
  don't
• 1:10
  talk
• 1:10
  about
• 1:10
  our
• 1:10
  dirty
• 1:10
  laundry
• 1:11
  kind
• 1:11
  of
• 1:11
  situation.
• 1:12
  So
• 1:12
  you've
• 1:12
  been
• 1:13
  told
• 1:13
  to
• 1:13
  keep
• 1:13
  it
• 1:13
  quiet.
• 1:14
  Right.
• 1:14
  And
• 1:15
  so
• 1:15
  that
• 1:16
  isolates
• 1:16
  you.
• 1:17
  And
• 1:17
  so
• 1:17
  then
• 1:17
  you
• 1:18
  think,
• 1:18
  I'm
• 1:18
  the
• 1:18
  only
• 1:18
  one
• 1:19
  that's
• 1:19
  going
• 1:19
  through
• 1:19
  this.
• 1:20
  It's
• 1:20
  because
• 1:20
  the
• 1:21
  world
• 1:21
  has
• 1:21
  gotten
• 1:22
  so
• 1:22
  small
• 1:22
  and
• 1:22
  so
• 1:23
  narrow
• 1:23
  that
• 1:24
  we
• 1:24
  think
• 1:24
  that
• 1:24
  we
• 1:24
  are
• 1:25
  the
• 1:25
  only
• 1:25
  people
• 1:25
  that
• 1:25
  are
• 1:26
  going
• 1:26
  through
• 1:26
  it
• 1:26
  without
• 1:26
  realizing
• 1:27
  how,
• 1:28
  how
• 1:28
  just
• 1:28
  pervasive
• 1:29
  it
• 1:30
  is.
• 1:30
  Because
• 1:30
  there's
• 1:30
  so
• 1:31
  many
• 1:31
  people
• 1:31
  who
• 1:32
  don't
• 1:32
  know
• 1:33
  how,
• 1:33
  who
• 1:34
  are
• 1:34
  not
• 1:34
  emotionally
• 1:35
  mature
• 1:35
  themselves,
• 1:35
  that
• 1:36
  are
• 1:36
  then
• 1:36
  raising
• 1:37
  children
• 1:37
  from
• 1:38
  a
• 1:38
  wounded
• 1:39
  place.
• 1:39
  Exactly.
• 1:40
  And
• 1:40
  it's
• 1:41
  like
• 1:41
  when
• 1:41
  you
• 1:41
  try
• 1:41
  to
• 1:41
  bring
• 1:41
  it
• 1:42
  to
• 1:42
  the
• 1:42
  world.
• 1:42
  I
• 1:42
  remember
• 1:43
  when
• 1:43
  I
• 1:43
  was
• 1:43
  like,
• 1:43
  oh,
• 1:43
  I'm
• 1:43
  going
• 1:44
  to
• 1:44
  write
• 1:44
  a
• 1:44
  book.
• 1:45
  And
• 1:45
  it
• 1:45
  was
• 1:45
  literally
• 1:46
  a
• 1:46
  guide
• 1:46
  for
• 1:47
  children
• 1:47
  of
• 1:47
  alcoholics.
• 1:48
  It
• 1:48
  was
• 1:48
  called
• 1:49
  Surviving
• 1:49
  Alcoholic
• 1:49
  Parents.
• 1:50
  It
• 1:50
  was
• 1:50
  all
• 1:50
  the
• 1:50
  things
• 1:50
  that
• 1:51
  I
• 1:51
  wish
• 1:51
  they
• 1:51
  had
• 1:51
  told
• 1:51
  me
• 1:52
  when
• 1:52
  I
• 1:52
  was
• 1:52
  12
• 1:52
  or
• 1:52
  13
• 1:52
  years
• 1:53
  old
• 1:54
  and
• 1:54
  I
• 1:54
  wrote
• 1:54
  this
• 1:54
  book.
• 1:54
  And
• 1:55
  then
• 1:55
  I'm
• 1:55
  like,
• 1:55
  okay,
• 1:56
  how
• 1:56
  do
• 1:56
  I
• 1:56
  get
• 1:57
  this
• 1:57
  to
• 1:57
  the
• 1:57
  kids?
• 1:58
  Because
• 1:58
  I
• 1:58
  can
• 1:59
  imagine
• 1:59
  me
• 1:59
  coming
• 1:59
  home
• 2:00
  at
• 2:00
  10
• 2:00
  years
• 2:00
  old
• 2:00
  being
• 2:00
  like,
• 2:01
  hey
• 2:01
  mom,
• 2:01
  can
• 2:02
  I
• 2:02
  have
• 2:02
  eight
• 2:02
  bucks?
• 2:02
  Because
• 2:03
  there's
• 2:03
  this
• 2:03
  lady
• 2:04
  coming
• 2:04
  into
• 2:04
  the
• 2:04
  school
• 2:04
  to
• 2:05
  talk
• 2:05
  about
• 2:06
  surviving
• 2:06
  alcoholic
• 2:07
  parents.
• 2:07
  I
• 2:07
  would
• 2:08
  have
• 2:08
  gotten
• 2:08
  beaten.
• 2:08
  So
• 2:09
  you're
• 2:09
  right.
• 2:09
  There's
• 2:10
  so
• 2:10
  much
• 2:10
  of
• 2:10
  that
• 2:10
  shame
• 2:11
  and
• 2:11
  everything.
• 2:11
  But
• 2:13
  what's
• 2:13
  important
• 2:14
  for
• 2:14
  people
• 2:14
  to
• 2:14
  know
• 2:15
  is
• 2:15
  that
• 2:15
  when
• 2:15
  you
• 2:15
  look
• 2:16
  at
• 2:16
  the
• 2:16
  statistics,
• 2:17
  just
• 2:17
  take
• 2:17
  one
• 2:18
  dysfunction.
• 2:18
  Let's
• 2:18
  just
• 2:19
  take
• 2:19
  alcoholism.
• 2:19
  That's
• 2:20
  one,
• 2:21
  one
• 2:21
  of
• 2:21
  the
• 2:21
  very
• 2:21
  many.
• 2:22
  And
• 2:23
  they
• 2:23
  say
• 2:23
  it's
• 2:23
  one
• 2:23
  in
• 2:23
  four
• 2:24
  children.
• 2:25
  But
• 2:25
  like
• 2:25
  you
• 2:25
  said,
• 2:26
  if
• 2:26
  that's
• 2:26
  one
• 2:26
  in
• 2:27
  four
• 2:27
  children,
• 2:27
  then
• 2:27
  that's
• 2:28
  also
• 2:28
  one
• 2:28
  in
• 2:28
  four
• 2:28
  teachers.
• 2:31
  How
• 2:31
  do
• 2:32
  you
• 2:32
  change
• 2:32
  the
• 2:32
  stigma
• 2:33
  so
• 2:33
  that
• 2:33
  there's
• 2:34
  not
• 2:34
  that
• 2:34
  shame
• 2:34
  or
• 2:35
  so
• 2:35
  that
• 2:35
  people
• 2:35
  understand
• 2:36
  that
• 2:36
  their
• 2:37
  story,
• 2:37
  although
• 2:37
  it's
• 2:38
  unique
• 2:38
  to
• 2:38
  them,
• 2:40
  is
• 2:40
  widespread?
• 2:41
  Yeah,
• 2:42
  I
• 2:42
  think
• 2:42
  there's
• 2:42
  this,
• 2:42
  this
• 2:43
  is
• 2:43
  for
• 2:43
  all
• 2:44
  of
• 2:44
  the
• 2:45
  awfulness
• 2:45
  of
• 2:46
  social
• 2:46
  media.
• 2:46
  Right.
• 2:47
  And
• 2:47
  there
• 2:47
  is
• 2:47
  a
• 2:47
  lot
• 2:47
  to.
• 2:48
  To
• 2:48
  complain
• 2:49
  about.
• 2:49
  One
• 2:50
  of
• 2:50
  the
• 2:50
  things
• 2:50
  that
• 2:50
  is
• 2:50
  really
• 2:51
  nice
• 2:51
  is
• 2:51
  that
• 2:51
  we,
• 2:52
  to
• 2:52
  realize
• 2:53
  that
• 2:53
  we
• 2:53
  weren't
• 2:54
  growing
• 2:54
  up
• 2:55
  in
• 2:55
  isolation.
• 2:56
  I'm
• 2:56
  from
• 2:56
  a
• 2:56
  town
• 2:56
  of
• 2:57
  55.
• 2:57
  It
• 2:58
  felt
• 2:58
  like
• 2:58
  no
• 2:58
  one
• 2:59
  in
• 2:59
  my
• 2:59
  town
• 2:59
  of
• 2:59
  55
• 3:00
  was
• 3:00
  experiencing
• 3:01
  what
• 3:01
  I
• 3:01
  was
• 3:02
  experiencing.
• 3:02
  But
• 3:03
  what
• 3:03
  happens
• 3:03
  behind
• 3:03
  closed
• 3:04
  doors,
• 3:04
  we
• 3:04
  don't
• 3:05
  know.
• 3:05
  But
• 3:05
  what
• 3:05
  you
• 3:05
  realize
• 3:06
  is
• 3:06
  that
• 3:07
  so
• 3:07
  many
• 3:07
  people
• 3:08
  across
• 3:08
  the
• 3:09
  world
• 3:09
  are
• 3:09
  experiencing
• 3:10
  something
• 3:10
  similar
• 3:11
  or
• 3:11
  they're
• 3:11
  recovering
• 3:12
  from
• 3:12
  and
• 3:13
  feeling
• 3:13
  the
• 3:13
  long
• 3:14
  term
• 3:14
  fallout
• 3:15
  of
• 3:15
  growing
• 3:15
  up
• 3:15
  and
• 3:16
  dysfunctional
• 3:16
  families
• 3:17
  and
• 3:17
  what
• 3:17
  that
• 3:17
  looks
• 3:18
  like
• 3:18
  like
• 3:18
  and
• 3:18
  how
• 3:18
  that
• 3:19
  changes
• 3:19
  you
• 3:19
  as
• 3:19
  a
• 3:20
  person
• 3:20
  and
• 3:20
  your
• 3:21
  sense
• 3:21
  of
• 3:21
  self
• 3:21
  worth.
• 3:22
  You
• 3:22
  start
• 3:22
  to
• 3:22
  see
• 3:22
  these
• 3:22
  common
• 3:23
  through
• 3:23
  lines
• 3:24
  and
• 3:24
  you
• 3:24
  see
• 3:24
  them
• 3:25
  show
• 3:25
  up
• 3:25
  in
• 3:25
  other
• 3:25
  people's
• 3:26
  stories.
• 3:26
  And
• 3:27
  so
• 3:27
  that's
• 3:27
  where
• 3:27
  the
• 3:27
  power
• 3:28
  of
• 3:28
  the
• 3:28
  Internet
• 3:28
  has
• 3:29
  been
• 3:29
  so
• 3:29
  profound.
• 3:30
  And
• 3:30
  being
• 3:30
  able
• 3:30
  to
• 3:30
  create
• 3:31
  a
• 3:31
  community,
• 3:32
  but
• 3:32
  also
• 3:33
  within
• 3:33
  that
• 3:33
  community
• 3:34
  is
• 3:34
  to
• 3:34
  create
• 3:34
  this
• 3:35
  safe
• 3:35
  space
• 3:35
  of
• 3:36
  people
• 3:36
  going,
• 3:36
  I
• 3:36
  get
• 3:36
  it,
• 3:37
  I
• 3:37
  get
• 3:37
  what
• 3:38
  it
• 3:38
  feels
• 3:38
  like.
• 3:38
  I
• 3:39
  understand
• 3:40
  even
• 3:40
  without
• 3:41
  having
• 3:41
  gone
• 3:41
  through
• 3:42
  the
• 3:42
  things
• 3:42
  that
• 3:43
  someone
• 3:43
  else
• 3:43
  has
• 3:43
  gone
• 3:44
  through,
• 3:44
  you
• 3:44
  understand
• 3:45
  the
• 3:45
  emotional
• 3:45
  impact
• 3:46
  because
• 3:46
  you
• 3:46
  can
• 3:47
  relate
• 3:47
  to
• 3:47
  that.
• 3:47
  You
• 3:48
  can
• 3:48
  feel
• 3:48
  it.
• 3:48
  Because
• 3:49
  even
• 3:49
  though
• 3:50
  it's
• 3:50
  different,
• 3:50
  it
• 3:50
  feels
• 3:51
  familiar.
• 3:52
  Absolutely.
• 3:53
  And
• 3:53
  I,
• 3:53
  I
• 3:53
  love
• 3:54
  when
• 3:54
  I
• 3:54
  wake
• 3:54
  up
• 3:54
  and
• 3:54
  I
• 3:55
  check
• 3:55
  my
• 3:55
  messages,
• 3:55
  usually
• 3:56
  it's
• 3:56
  Facebook
• 3:56
  messenger.
• 3:57
  People
• 3:57
  will
• 3:57
  reach
• 3:58
  out
• 3:58
  to
• 3:58
  me
• 3:58
  on,
• 3:58
  even
• 3:59
  though
• 3:59
  they
• 3:59
  see
• 3:59
  me
• 3:59
  on
• 3:59
  TikTok
• 4:00
  or
• 4:00
  Instagram
• 4:00
  or
• 4:01
  whatever.
• 4:01
  But
• 4:01
  I
• 4:02
  love
• 4:02
  when
• 4:02
  people
• 4:02
  like,
• 4:03
  girl,
• 4:03
  you
• 4:03
  hit
• 4:03
  it.
• 4:04
  You
• 4:04
  nailed
• 4:04
  it.
• 4:04
  That's
• 4:05
  me.
• 4:05
  And
• 4:06
  it's,
• 4:06
  it's
• 4:06
  almost
• 4:06
  sad.
• 4:07
  People
• 4:07
  don't
• 4:07
  realize
• 4:08
  until
• 4:08
  they're
• 4:08
  in
• 4:08
  their
• 4:09
  sometimes
• 4:09
  40s,
• 4:10
  50s,
• 4:10
  60s.
• 4:11
  I
• 4:11
  want
• 4:11
  to
• 4:11
  talk
• 4:12
  about
• 4:12
  something
• 4:12
  that
• 4:12
  you
• 4:12
  mentioned
• 4:13
  and
• 4:14
  you
• 4:14
  said
• 4:15
  you
• 4:15
  mentioned
• 4:16
  numbness.
• 4:16
  And
• 4:17
  I
• 4:17
  think
• 4:17
  that
• 4:17
  is
• 4:18
  so
• 4:19
  profound
• 4:20
  because
• 4:20
  so
• 4:20
  many
• 4:20
  people
• 4:21
  are
• 4:21
  in
• 4:21
  numbness.
• 4:22
  Explain
• 4:22
  how
• 4:23
  that
• 4:24
  manifests
• 4:24
  and
• 4:24
  what
• 4:25
  it
• 4:25
  looks
• 4:25
  like
• 4:25
  to
• 4:25
  you.
• 4:26
  Yeah,
• 4:27
  so
• 4:27
  I'll
• 4:27
  obviously
• 4:28
  explain
• 4:28
  it
• 4:28
  from
• 4:28
  my
• 4:29
  perspective,
• 4:29
  but
• 4:30
  it's
• 4:30
  so
• 4:31
  I
• 4:31
  am
• 4:31
  the
• 4:32
  survivor
• 4:32
  of
• 4:33
  childhood
• 4:33
  sexual
• 4:34
  abuse,
• 4:34
  that
• 4:34
  my
• 4:35
  family
• 4:35
  looked
• 4:35
  the
• 4:35
  other
• 4:36
  way.
• 4:36
  They
• 4:36
  knew
• 4:36
  it
• 4:36
  was
• 4:37
  going
• 4:37
  on
• 4:37
  and
• 4:37
  ignored
• 4:38
  it.
• 4:38
  And
• 4:39
  a
• 4:39
  very
• 4:39
  also
• 4:41
  common
• 4:41
  experience,
• 4:42
  unfortunately.
• 4:43
  And,
• 4:43
  and
• 4:44
  so
• 4:44
  as
• 4:45
  I
• 4:45
  was
• 4:45
  moving
• 4:46
  through
• 4:46
  my
• 4:46
  life
• 4:47
  dealing
• 4:47
  with
• 4:47
  the
• 4:48
  fallout
• 4:48
  of
• 4:48
  that
• 4:49
  it's
• 4:50
  the
• 4:50
  way
• 4:50
  that
• 4:50
  you
• 4:50
  protect
• 4:51
  yourself.
• 4:51
  Right.
• 4:52
  Whether
• 4:52
  you
• 4:52
  go
• 4:52
  through
• 4:53
  something
• 4:53
  deeply
• 4:53
  traumatic
• 4:54
  like
• 4:54
  that
• 4:54
  or
• 4:54
  you
• 4:54
  just
• 4:54
  have
• 4:55
  a
• 4:55
  really
• 4:55
  hard
• 4:56
  family,
• 4:57
  is
• 4:57
  that
• 4:57
  you
• 4:58
  hide
• 4:58
  parts
• 4:59
  of
• 4:59
  yourself
• 4:59
  away.
• 4:59
  The
• 5:00
  parts
• 5:00
  that
• 5:00
  you
• 5:00
  don't
• 5:00
  think
• 5:01
  are
• 5:01
  going
• 5:01
  to
• 5:01
  be
• 5:01
  accepted
• 5:02
  or
• 5:02
  welcome
• 5:03
  or
• 5:03
  that
• 5:04
  are
• 5:04
  going
• 5:04
  to
• 5:04
  create
• 5:04
  an
• 5:05
  issue
• 5:05
  with
• 5:05
  your
• 5:05
  belonging.
• 5:06
  You
• 5:06
  keep
• 5:06
  hiding
• 5:07
  those
• 5:07
  parts
• 5:07
  away
• 5:07
  and
• 5:08
  you
• 5:08
  hide
• 5:08
  them
• 5:08
  away
• 5:08
  and
• 5:09
  hide
• 5:09
  them
• 5:09
  away
• 5:10
  until
• 5:10
  all
• 5:10
  that's
• 5:11
  left
• 5:11
  is
• 5:11
  this
• 5:11
  shel
• 5:12
  of
• 5:13
  who
• 5:13
  you
• 5:13
  once
• 5:13
  were.
• 5:14
  Right.
• 5:14
  And
• 5:15
  so
• 5:15
  you
• 5:15
  can
• 5:15
  look
• 5:15
  back,
• 5:16
  this
• 5:16
  little
• 5:16
  human
• 5:17
  that
• 5:17
  you
• 5:17
  used
• 5:17
  to
• 5:17
  be
• 5:18
  that
• 5:18
  was
• 5:18
  alive
• 5:19
  and
• 5:20
  delighted
• 5:20
  in
• 5:21
  whatever
• 5:21
  they
• 5:21
  delighted
• 5:22
  in.
• 5:22
  And
• 5:22
  you
• 5:23
  feel
• 5:23
  like,
• 5:24
  wait
• 5:24
  a
• 5:24
  minute,
• 5:24
  that
• 5:25
  person
• 5:25
  feels
• 5:25
  miles
• 5:26
  away.
• 5:27
  How
• 5:27
  is
• 5:27
  that
• 5:27
  possible?
• 5:28
  And
• 5:29
  then
• 5:29
  you
• 5:29
  look
• 5:29
  around
• 5:29
  and
• 5:30
  you
• 5:30
  think,
• 5:30
  like,
• 5:30
  at
• 5:31
  least
• 5:31
  for
• 5:31
  me,
• 5:31
  I
• 5:31
  looked
• 5:31
  around
• 5:32
  and
• 5:32
  I
• 5:32
  thought,
• 5:32
  when
• 5:32
  was
• 5:33
  the
• 5:33
  last
• 5:33
  time
• 5:33
  I
• 5:33
  was
• 5:33
  delighted
• 5:34
  by
• 5:34
  life?
• 5:35
  When
• 5:35
  was
• 5:35
  the
• 5:35
  last
• 5:36
  time
• 5:36
  I
• 5:36
  was
• 5:37
  excited
• 5:38
  by
• 5:38
  things
• 5:38
  and
• 5:39
  I
• 5:39
  couldn't
• 5:39
  remember
• 5:40
  and.
• 5:40
  And
• 5:40
  then
• 5:41
  it
• 5:41
  was
• 5:41
  like,
• 5:41
  oh,
• 5:41
  my
• 5:42
  God.
• 5:43
  That's
• 5:43
  when
• 5:43
  it
• 5:43
  landed
• 5:44
  on
• 5:44
  me.
• 5:44
  I
• 5:44
  didn't
• 5:44
  even
• 5:45
  realize
• 5:45
  I
• 5:45
  had
• 5:46
  slipped
• 5:46
  into
• 5:46
  numbness.
• 5:47
  It
• 5:48
  just
• 5:48
  was
• 5:49
  there.
• 5:49
  It.
• 5:50
  When
• 5:50
  it's
• 5:50
  this
• 5:50
  heavy
• 5:51
  blanket
• 5:51
  that
• 5:52
  shadows
• 5:52
  over
• 5:53
  everything
• 5:53
  and
• 5:54
  it's.
• 5:54
  There's
• 5:54
  no
• 5:54
  point
• 5:55
  in
• 5:55
  getting
• 5:55
  excited
• 5:55
  about
• 5:56
  something
• 5:56
  or.
• 5:57
  Numbness
• 5:57
  is
• 5:58
  a
• 5:58
  protector
• 5:58
  because
• 5:59
  I
• 5:59
  don't
• 5:59
  have
• 5:59
  to
• 5:59
  feel
• 5:59
  as
• 6:00
  sad
• 6:00
  if
• 6:00
  I
• 6:00
  am
• 6:01
  numb.
• 6:01
  If
• 6:01
  I
• 6:01
  can
• 6:01
  numb
• 6:02
  myself
• 6:02
  out
• 6:02
  from
• 6:03
  something
• 6:04
  internally,
• 6:04
  then
• 6:05
  I
• 6:05
  don't
• 6:05
  have
• 6:05
  to
• 6:05
  feel
• 6:05
  the
• 6:06
  full
• 6:06
  weight
• 6:06
  of
• 6:06
  it.
• 6:07
  And
• 6:07
  so
• 6:07
  if
• 6:07
  I'm
• 6:07
  carrying
• 6:08
  around
• 6:08
  a
• 6:08
  bunch
• 6:08
  of
• 6:09
  unprocessed
• 6:09
  things,
• 6:10
  that's
• 6:11
  a
• 6:11
  way
• 6:11
  to
• 6:11
  navigate
• 6:11
  that.
• 6:12
  And
• 6:13
  so
• 6:13
  numbness
• 6:13
  is
• 6:14
  this
• 6:14
  thing
• 6:14
  that
• 6:14
  just
• 6:15
  sneaks
• 6:15
  up
• 6:15
  slowly
• 6:16
  and
• 6:16
  becomes
• 6:17
  both
• 6:17
  a
• 6:17
  protector
• 6:18
  from
• 6:18
  the
• 6:18
  hard
• 6:19
  things
• 6:19
  that
• 6:19
  we're
• 6:19
  not
• 6:19
  ready
• 6:20
  to
• 6:20
  face,
• 6:20
  but
• 6:21
  also
• 6:22
  this
• 6:22
  thing
• 6:23
  that
• 6:23
  prevents
• 6:24
  us
• 6:24
  from
• 6:24
  being
• 6:24
  able
• 6:24
  to
• 6:25
  feel
• 6:25
  the
• 6:25
  full
• 6:25
  expression
• 6:26
  of
• 6:27
  our
• 6:27
  life.
• 6:27
  And
• 6:27
  I
• 6:28
  understand
• 6:28
  why
• 6:29
  we
• 6:29
  do
• 6:29
  it.
• 6:29
  It
• 6:29
  makes
• 6:30
  so
• 6:30
  much
• 6:30
  sense
• 6:30
  why
• 6:31
  we
• 6:31
  are
• 6:31
  protecting
• 6:32
  ourselves.
• 6:32
  But
• 6:33
  then
• 6:33
  one
• 6:33
  day
• 6:33
  you
• 6:33
  wake
• 6:34
  up
• 6:34
  and
• 6:34
  you
• 6:34
  feel
• 6:34
  half
• 6:35
  alive
• 6:35
  and
• 6:35
  you
• 6:35
  don't
• 6:36
  understand
• 6:36
  why.
• 6:37
  Absolutely.
• 6:38
  And
• 6:39
  numbness
• 6:39
  is
• 6:39
  the
• 6:39
  best
• 6:39
  way
• 6:40
  to
• 6:40
  put
• 6:40
  it,
• 6:40
  because
• 6:40
  I
• 6:40
  can
• 6:41
  remember
• 6:41
  walking
• 6:41
  into
• 6:41
  a
• 6:42
  therapist.
• 6:42
  I
• 6:42
  don't
• 6:42
  even
• 6:42
  remember
• 6:43
  what
• 6:43
  the
• 6:43
  occasion
• 6:44
  was
• 6:44
  or
• 6:44
  what
• 6:44
  this
• 6:44
  circumstance
• 6:45
  was
• 6:45
  that
• 6:46
  happened.
• 6:46
  But
• 6:46
  she
• 6:46
  said
• 6:46
  to
• 6:47
  me,
• 6:47
  how
• 6:47
  do
• 6:47
  you
• 6:47
  feel?
• 6:49
  And
• 6:50
  that
• 6:50
  was
• 6:50
  such
• 6:50
  a
• 6:50
  foreign
• 6:51
  concept
• 6:51
  to
• 6:51
  me.
• 6:51
  I'm
• 6:51
  like,
• 6:52
  feel.
• 6:52
  She
• 6:53
  said,
• 6:53
  you're
• 6:53
  not
• 6:53
  mad?
• 6:54
  Said,
• 6:54
  no.
• 6:55
  You're
• 6:55
  not
• 6:55
  angry.
• 6:56
  You're,
• 6:56
  like,
• 6:56
  sad?
• 6:57
  No.
• 6:58
  And
• 6:58
  you
• 6:58
  said
• 6:58
  it
• 6:58
  perfectly
• 6:59
  when
• 6:59
  you
• 6:59
  said,
• 7:00
  you
• 7:00
  become
• 7:00
  a
• 7:00
  shell
• 7:01
  of
• 7:01
  a
• 7:01
  person
• 7:01
  that
• 7:01
  you
• 7:02
  used
• 7:02
  to
• 7:02
  be.
• 7:03
  So,
• 7:03
  yeah,
• 7:04
  it's
• 7:04
  such
• 7:04
  a
• 7:04
  fascinating
• 7:05
  thing.
• 7:05
  Like
• 7:06
  when
• 7:06
  you
• 7:06
  were
• 7:06
  saying,
• 7:06
  like,
• 7:06
  you
• 7:07
  don't
• 7:07
  register
• 7:07
  the
• 7:07
  emotions
• 7:08
  or
• 7:08
  maybe
• 7:08
  you
• 7:09
  do,
• 7:09
  logically,
• 7:09
  right?
• 7:10
  And
• 7:10
  so
• 7:10
  maybe
• 7:11
  it's,
• 7:11
  oh,
• 7:11
  that's
• 7:11
  sad
• 7:11
  that
• 7:12
  happened.
• 7:12
  You
• 7:12
  can
• 7:13
  hear
• 7:13
  a
• 7:13
  sad
• 7:13
  story
• 7:14
  that
• 7:14
  happened
• 7:15
  in
• 7:15
  the
• 7:15
  news
• 7:15
  or
• 7:15
  even
• 7:16
  something
• 7:16
  that
• 7:16
  happens
• 7:16
  personally
• 7:17
  to
• 7:17
  you,
• 7:17
  and
• 7:17
  you're
• 7:18
  like,
• 7:18
  oh,
• 7:18
  that's
• 7:19
  really
• 7:19
  sad.
• 7:19
  And
• 7:19
  then
• 7:20
  you're
• 7:20
  thinking
• 7:20
  about
• 7:21
  how
• 7:21
  it's
• 7:21
  sad.
• 7:22
  So
• 7:22
  you're
• 7:22
  intellectualizing
• 7:23
  the
• 7:24
  idea
• 7:24
  of
• 7:24
  what
• 7:25
  it.
• 7:25
  Of
• 7:25
  what
• 7:25
  feeling
• 7:26
  you
• 7:26
  should
• 7:26
  be
• 7:26
  experiencing,
• 7:27
  but
• 7:27
  you're
• 7:28
  not
• 7:28
  actually
• 7:28
  letting
• 7:29
  yourself
• 7:30
  feel
• 7:30
  it.
• 7:30
  It's
• 7:30
  like
• 7:31
  it
• 7:31
  stays
• 7:31
  in
• 7:31
  the
• 7:31
  head.
• 7:32
  If
• 7:32
  it
• 7:32
  enters
• 7:33
  in
• 7:33
  at
• 7:33
  all,
• 7:34
  it
• 7:34
  stays
• 7:34
  in
• 7:34
  the
• 7:35
  head
• 7:35
  instead
• 7:35
  of
• 7:36
  ever
• 7:36
  traveling
• 7:36
  down
• 7:37
  to
• 7:37
  the
• 7:37
  heart
• 7:38
  where
• 7:38
  it
• 7:38
  actually
• 7:39
  has
• 7:39
  the
• 7:39
  ability
• 7:40
  to
• 7:40
  be
• 7:40
  felt.
• 7:40
  And
• 7:41
  then
• 7:41
  it
• 7:41
  becomes
• 7:42
  a
• 7:42
  situation
• 7:42
  where,
• 7:43
  at
• 7:43
  least
• 7:43
  for
• 7:43
  me,
• 7:44
  I
• 7:44
  thought,
• 7:44
  something's
• 7:45
  wrong
• 7:45
  with
• 7:45
  me,
• 7:45
  that
• 7:45
  I
• 7:46
  can't
• 7:46
  feel
• 7:47
  sad,
• 7:47
  I
• 7:47
  can't
• 7:48
  feel
• 7:48
  happy,
• 7:49
  I
• 7:49
  can't
• 7:49
  feel
• 7:49
  I'm
• 7:50
  broken.
• 7:50
  Right.
• 7:51
  I've
• 7:51
  got
• 7:51
  to
• 7:51
  be
• 7:51
  broken.
• 7:52
  Because
• 7:52
  what
• 7:52
  is
• 7:53
  this?
• 7:53
  And
• 7:54
  it's
• 7:54
  a
• 7:54
  protective
• 7:55
  layer
• 7:55
  of
• 7:55
  numbness
• 7:56
  that
• 7:57
  you
• 7:57
  put
• 7:57
  on
• 7:58
  as
• 7:58
  a
• 7:58
  shield
• 7:59
  against
• 7:59
  the
• 7:59
  world.
• 8:00
  And
• 8:01
  again,
• 8:01
  it
• 8:01
  makes
• 8:02
  so
• 8:02
  much
• 8:02
  sense
• 8:03
  why
• 8:03
  we
• 8:03
  do
• 8:03
  it.
• 8:03
  But
• 8:04
  one
• 8:04
  day
• 8:04
  you
• 8:04
  just
• 8:05
  wake
• 8:05
  up
• 8:05
  and
• 8:05
  you
• 8:05
  realize
• 8:06
  your
• 8:06
  life
• 8:06
  isn't
• 8:07
  what
• 8:08
  it
• 8:08
  could
• 8:08
  be
• 8:09
  or
• 8:09
  what
• 8:09
  you
• 8:09
  thought
• 8:10
  it
• 8:10
  would
• 8:10
  be.
• 8:10
  And
• 8:10
  you're
• 8:10
  like,
• 8:11
  why
• 8:11
  is
• 8:11
  it
• 8:11
  like
• 8:11
  this?
• 8:12
  And
• 8:12
  you
• 8:12
  don't
• 8:13
  even
• 8:13
  realize
• 8:13
  when
• 8:14
  or
• 8:14
  how
• 8:14
  it
• 8:15
  happened.
• 8:16
  Exactly.
• 8:17
  And
• 8:17
  the
• 8:18
  part
• 8:18
  that
• 8:18
  people
• 8:18
  miss
• 8:19
  sometimes
• 8:19
  is
• 8:20
  if
• 8:20
  you
• 8:20
  don't
• 8:20
  feel
• 8:21
  the
• 8:21
  pain
• 8:21
  and
• 8:21
  you
• 8:21
  don't
• 8:22
  feel
• 8:22
  the
• 8:22
  sadness
• 8:23
  and
• 8:23
  you
• 8:23
  don't
• 8:23
  feel.
• 8:23
  Feel
• 8:24
  anything
• 8:24
  because
• 8:24
  you're
• 8:24
  numb.
• 8:25
  You
• 8:25
  also
• 8:25
  don't
• 8:26
  feel
• 8:26
  the
• 8:26
  joy
• 8:26
  and
• 8:27
  the
• 8:27
  fun
• 8:27
  and
• 8:28
  the
• 8:28
  great
• 8:28
  things
• 8:29
  that
• 8:29
  life
• 8:29
  has
• 8:29
  to
• 8:30
  offer.
• 8:30
  You're
• 8:30
  numb
• 8:31
  to
• 8:31
  everything.
• 8:31
  You
• 8:31
  don't
• 8:32
  just
• 8:32
  selectively
• 8:32
  go,
• 8:32
  I'm
• 8:33
  going
• 8:33
  to
• 8:33
  be
• 8:33
  numb
• 8:33
  to
• 8:33
  the
• 8:33
  bad
• 8:34
  things.
• 8:34
  You
• 8:34
  just
• 8:35
  become
• 8:35
  numb,
• 8:36
  period.
• 8:37
  Yeah.
• 8:38
  Because
• 8:38
  your
• 8:38
  body
• 8:38
  doesn't
• 8:38
  recognize,
• 8:39
  oh,
• 8:40
  okay.
• 8:40
  We're
• 8:40
  only
• 8:41
  filtering
• 8:41
  these
• 8:41
  emotions
• 8:42
  out.
• 8:42
  It's
• 8:43
  like
• 8:43
  we're
• 8:43
  filtering
• 8:43
  all
• 8:44
  emotions
• 8:44
  out.
• 8:45
  Because
• 8:45
  when
• 8:45
  we
• 8:46
  put
• 8:46
  on
• 8:46
  this
• 8:47
  protective
• 8:47
  barrier
• 8:48
  of
• 8:48
  numbness,
• 8:49
  the
• 8:49
  reason
• 8:50
  is
• 8:50
  because
• 8:50
  we
• 8:51
  did,
• 8:51
  there
• 8:51
  was
• 8:51
  so
• 8:51
  much
• 8:51
  intensity
• 8:52
  of
• 8:53
  pain
• 8:54
  that
• 8:54
  was
• 8:54
  coming
• 8:54
  through
• 8:55
  that
• 8:55
  we
• 8:55
  couldn't
• 8:56
  handle
• 8:56
  it
• 8:56
  all.
• 8:57
  So
• 8:57
  we
• 8:57
  numb
• 8:57
  up
• 8:58
  and
• 8:58
  we
• 8:58
  just
• 8:58
  be
• 8:58
  like,
• 8:58
  nope,
• 8:59
  not
• 8:59
  feeling
• 8:59
  that.
• 9:00
  And
• 9:00
  so
• 9:00
  we
• 9:01
  keep
• 9:01
  that
• 9:01
  guard
• 9:01
  up
• 9:02
  and
• 9:02
  our
• 9:02
  brain
• 9:02
  goes,
• 9:03
  oh,
• 9:03
  this
• 9:03
  is
• 9:03
  an
• 9:03
  effective
• 9:04
  method.
• 9:04
  Okay,
• 9:04
  we're
• 9:04
  getting
• 9:05
  what
• 9:05
  we
• 9:05
  needed
• 9:05
  here.
• 9:06
  Cool.
• 9:06
  Let's
• 9:07
  keep
• 9:07
  doing
• 9:07
  this.
• 9:08
  And
• 9:08
  so
• 9:08
  it.
• 9:09
  It
• 9:09
  does
• 9:09
  it
• 9:09
  for
• 9:10
  everything.
• 9:10
  Any
• 9:11
  emotion
• 9:11
  that
• 9:11
  comes
• 9:12
  in,
• 9:12
  it's
• 9:12
  just
• 9:12
  like
• 9:13
  one
• 9:13
  big,
• 9:13
  giant
• 9:14
  shield
• 9:14
  against
• 9:15
  that.
• 9:15
  And
• 9:16
  so
• 9:16
  you
• 9:16
  can't
• 9:16
  feel
• 9:17
  the
• 9:17
  good
• 9:17
  things
• 9:17
  in
• 9:18
  your
• 9:18
  life.
• 9:18
  And
• 9:18
  then
• 9:19
  your
• 9:19
  life
• 9:20
  becomes
• 9:20
  half
• 9:21
  full
• 9:21
  because
• 9:22
  you're
• 9:22
  like,
• 9:22
  I
• 9:22
  don't
• 9:22
  understand
• 9:23
  what's
• 9:23
  going
• 9:24
  on
• 9:24
  here.
• 9:24
  And
• 9:25
  it's
• 9:25
  so,
• 9:25
  so
• 9:25
  confusing.
• 9:26
  And
• 9:27
  it
• 9:27
  feels
• 9:27
  like
• 9:27
  you're
• 9:28
  broken.
• 9:28
  Because
• 9:29
  when
• 9:29
  there
• 9:29
  is
• 9:29
  something
• 9:30
  that
• 9:30
  you
• 9:30
  want
• 9:30
  to
• 9:31
  feel
• 9:31
  and
• 9:32
  you
• 9:32
  can't
• 9:32
  feel
• 9:32
  it,
• 9:33
  and
• 9:33
  then
• 9:33
  you're
• 9:33
  like,
• 9:34
  I
• 9:34
  don't
• 9:34
  understand
• 9:34
  what's
• 9:35
  going
• 9:35
  on,
• 9:35
  because
• 9:35
  it's
• 9:36
  no
• 9:36
  longer
• 9:36
  a
• 9:36
  conscious
• 9:37
  choice
• 9:37
  to
• 9:38
  prevent
• 9:38
  the
• 9:39
  pain
• 9:39
  from
• 9:39
  coming
• 9:40
  through.
• 9:40
  It's
• 9:40
  now
• 9:41
  just
• 9:41
  nothing
• 9:42
  is
• 9:42
  coming
• 9:42
  through.
• 9:43
  And
• 9:44
  so
• 9:44
  then
• 9:44
  it
• 9:44
  feels
• 9:45
  like
• 9:45
  something
• 9:45
  internally
• 9:46
  has
• 9:46
  been
• 9:47
  broken,
• 9:47
  but
• 9:47
  it's
• 9:48
  that
• 9:48
  your
• 9:48
  system
• 9:49
  is
• 9:49
  working
• 9:49
  exactly
• 9:50
  the
• 9:50
  way
• 9:51
  that
• 9:51
  it
• 9:51
  has
• 9:52
  been
• 9:52
  working
• 9:52
  all
• 9:53
  this
• 9:53
  time
• 9:53
  to
• 9:53
  keep
• 9:54
  you
• 9:54
  protected.
• 9:55
  Exactly.
• 9:55
  And
• 9:56
  going
• 9:56
  to
• 9:56
  some
• 9:57
  different
• 9:57
  forms
• 9:57
  of
• 9:57
  therapy,
• 9:58
  and
• 9:58
  they're
• 9:58
  like,
• 9:59
  it's
• 9:59
  all
• 9:59
  about,
• 9:59
  get
• 9:59
  in
• 10:00
  your
• 10:00
  head
• 10:00
  and
• 10:00
  rewrite
• 10:01
  this
• 10:01
  story
• 10:02
  and
• 10:02
  redo
• 10:02
  that.
• 10:03
  But
• 10:03
  I
• 10:03
  100
• 10:04
  agree
• 10:04
  with
• 10:04
  you
• 10:05
  and
• 10:05
  why
• 10:06
  you
• 10:06
  do
• 10:06
  what
• 10:06
  you
• 10:06
  do.
• 10:07
  It's
• 10:07
  not
• 10:07
  in
• 10:08
  your
• 10:08
  mind.
• 10:09
  You
• 10:09
  can
• 10:09
  trick
• 10:09
  your
• 10:09
  mind.
• 10:10
  My
• 10:10
  mind
• 10:10
  is
• 10:10
  very
• 10:11
  easily
• 10:11
  tricked,
• 10:12
  but
• 10:12
  my
• 10:12
  body
• 10:12
  is
• 10:12
  not.
• 10:13
  No.
• 10:14
  And
• 10:14
  you're
• 10:14
  with
• 10:14
  the
• 10:14
  adage,
• 10:15
  your
• 10:15
  body
• 10:15
  keeps
• 10:15
  the
• 10:15
  score.
• 10:16
  Right.
• 10:16
  So
• 10:16
  the
• 10:17
  thing.
• 10:17
  The
• 10:17
  pain
• 10:17
  that
• 10:18
  you
• 10:18
  are
• 10:18
  not
• 10:19
  wanting
• 10:19
  to
• 10:19
  feel
• 10:20
  and
• 10:20
  you're
• 10:20
  numbing
• 10:21
  yourself
• 10:21
  out
• 10:21
  from
• 10:22
  feeling,
• 10:23
  it's
• 10:23
  still
• 10:24
  there.
• 10:24
  It's
• 10:24
  just
• 10:25
  going
• 10:25
  to
• 10:25
  show
• 10:25
  up
• 10:26
  in
• 10:26
  other
• 10:26
  places,
• 10:27
  in
• 10:27
  inflammation
• 10:28
  in
• 10:28
  the
• 10:28
  body,
• 10:29
  in
• 10:30
  stress,
• 10:30
  in
• 10:31
  anxiety,
• 10:31
  in
• 10:32
  depression.
• 10:32
  It
• 10:33
  comes
• 10:33
  in
• 10:33
  all
• 10:33
  of
• 10:33
  these
• 10:34
  different
• 10:34
  ways
• 10:35
  because
• 10:35
  somehow,
• 10:36
  some
• 10:36
  way,
• 10:37
  it
• 10:37
  has
• 10:37
  to
• 10:37
  come
• 10:38
  out.
• 10:38
  And
• 10:38
  rage.
• 10:39
  It
• 10:39
  comes
• 10:39
  out,
• 10:40
  however,
• 10:40
  for
• 10:40
  people.
• 10:41
  And
• 10:41
  when
• 10:42
  we
• 10:42
  numb
• 10:42
  ourselves
• 10:43
  to
• 10:43
  it
• 10:43
  and
• 10:43
  we
• 10:43
  keep
• 10:44
  shoving
• 10:44
  it
• 10:44
  down
• 10:44
  and
• 10:45
  shoving
• 10:45
  it
• 10:45
  down
• 10:45
  and
• 10:46
  shoving
• 10:46
  it
• 10:46
  down,
• 10:46
  it
• 10:47
  has
• 10:47
  to
• 10:47
  find
• 10:47
  other
• 10:47
  alternate
• 10:48
  routes
• 10:48
  out.
• 10:49
  And
• 10:50
  so
• 10:50
  eventually
• 10:51
  you're
• 10:51
  screaming
• 10:52
  in
• 10:52
  the
• 10:52
  grocery
• 10:53
  store
• 10:53
  and
• 10:53
  you
• 10:54
  don't
• 10:54
  know
• 10:54
  why,
• 10:55
  and
• 10:55
  it's
• 10:55
  because
• 10:56
  things
• 10:56
  that
• 10:56
  you
• 10:57
  weren't
• 10:57
  willing
• 10:57
  to
• 10:58
  process,
• 10:58
  that
• 10:58
  you
• 10:58
  had
• 10:59
  numbed
• 10:59
  yourself
• 10:59
  to,
• 11:00
  are
• 11:01
  finding
• 11:01
  their
• 11:01
  ways
• 11:02
  out.
• 11:02
  And
• 11:02
  they're
• 11:03
  not
• 11:03
  finding
• 11:03
  their
• 11:03
  way
• 11:03
  out
• 11:04
  in
• 11:04
  rational
• 11:04
  or
• 11:05
  logical
• 11:05
  ways.
• 11:06
  They're
• 11:06
  finding
• 11:06
  their
• 11:06
  way
• 11:06
  out
• 11:07
  because
• 11:07
  their
• 11:07
  pressure
• 11:08
  is
• 11:08
  too
• 11:08
  intense
• 11:09
  that
• 11:09
  your
• 11:09
  body
• 11:09
  needs
• 11:10
  a
• 11:10
  break
• 11:10
  or
• 11:11
  it's
• 11:11
  going
• 11:11
  to
• 11:11
  just
• 11:11
  collapse.
• 11:12
  And
• 11:13
  so
• 11:13
  then
• 11:13
  fatigue,
• 11:14
  all
• 11:14
  of
• 11:15
  these
• 11:15
  kinds
• 11:15
  of
• 11:15
  things.
• 11:15
  Right.
• 11:16
  The
• 11:16
  science
• 11:16
  is
• 11:16
  so
• 11:17
  clear
• 11:17
  on
• 11:18
  how
• 11:18
  the
• 11:18
  body
• 11:18
  holds
• 11:19
  on
• 11:19
  to
• 11:20
  emotional
• 11:21
  tension.
• 11:21
  And
• 11:22
  when
• 11:22
  we
• 11:22
  don't
• 11:22
  release
• 11:23
  it,
• 11:23
  we
• 11:24
  also
• 11:24
  don't
• 11:24
  make
• 11:24
  room
• 11:25
  for
• 11:25
  other
• 11:25
  things
• 11:26
  to
• 11:26
  be
• 11:26
  able
• 11:26
  to
• 11:26
  come
• 11:26
  in.
• 11:27
  So
• 11:27
  we
• 11:27
  don't
• 11:28
  make
• 11:28
  room
• 11:28
  for
• 11:28
  delight
• 11:29
  and
• 11:29
  joy
• 11:29
  and
• 11:30
  goodness
• 11:30
  and
• 11:30
  all
• 11:30
  of
• 11:30
  these
• 11:31
  things
• 11:31
  to
• 11:31
  come
• 11:31
  in
• 11:32
  when
• 11:32
  our
• 11:32
  system
• 11:32
  is
• 11:33
  trying
• 11:33
  so
• 11:33
  hard
• 11:34
  to
• 11:34
  maintain
• 11:35
  the
• 11:36
  status
• 11:36
  quo
• 11:36
  that
• 11:37
  we're
• 11:37
  telling
• 11:37
  it
• 11:37
  we
• 11:38
  want
• 11:38
  to
• 11:38
  hold
• 11:38
  on
• 11:38
  to,
• 11:39
  which
• 11:39
  is
• 11:39
  numbness.
• 11:40
  Absolutely.
• 11:41
  So
• 11:41
  talk
• 11:42
  about
• 11:42
  with
• 11:42
  your
• 11:43
  people
• 11:43
  that
• 11:43
  you.
• 11:43
  With
• 11:43
  your
• 11:44
  clients
• 11:44
  that
• 11:44
  you
• 11:44
  work
• 11:44
  with.
• 11:45
  How
• 11:46
  do
• 11:46
  you
• 11:46
  start
• 11:46
  bringing
• 11:46
  in?
• 11:47
  What
• 11:47
  is
• 11:47
  your
• 11:47
  biggest
• 11:48
  concept.
• 11:48
  Is
• 11:48
  it
• 11:48
  the
• 11:49
  fact
• 11:49
  that
• 11:49
  you
• 11:49
  need
• 11:49
  to
• 11:49
  not
• 11:50
  only
• 11:50
  just
• 11:50
  get
• 11:50
  rid
• 11:51
  of
• 11:51
  the
• 11:51
  pain,
• 11:51
  but
• 11:51
  you
• 11:51
  also
• 11:52
  need
• 11:52
  to
• 11:53
  replace
• 11:54
  it
• 11:54
  with
• 11:54
  the
• 11:54
  joy
• 11:55
  and
• 11:55
  the
• 11:55
  delight
• 11:55
  and
• 11:56
  the
• 11:56
  laughter
• 11:56
  and
• 11:56
  the
• 11:56
  love?
• 11:57
  Yeah,
• 11:58
  it's
• 11:58
  interesting.
• 11:58
  For
• 11:59
  trauma
• 11:59
  survivors,
• 11:59
  it's
• 12:00
  going
• 12:00
  to
• 12:00
  sound
• 12:01
  backwards,
• 12:01
  but
• 12:01
  the.
• 12:01
  The
• 12:02
  pain
• 12:02
  is
• 12:02
  not
• 12:02
  as
• 12:03
  scary
• 12:03
  because
• 12:04
  they
• 12:04
  know
• 12:04
  how
• 12:04
  to
• 12:04
  navigate
• 12:05
  pain.
• 12:05
  When
• 12:06
  you've
• 12:06
  survived
• 12:06
  something
• 12:07
  traumatic,
• 12:07
  you've
• 12:08
  had
• 12:08
  to
• 12:08
  pick
• 12:08
  up
• 12:09
  your
• 12:09
  pieces
• 12:09
  from
• 12:09
  a
• 12:10
  life
• 12:10
  that
• 12:11
  has
• 12:11
  just
• 12:11
  been,
• 12:11
  like,
• 12:12
  radically
• 12:12
  altered
• 12:13
  and
• 12:13
  a
• 12:13
  brain
• 12:14
  that
• 12:14
  has
• 12:14
  been
• 12:14
  radically
• 12:14
  altered
• 12:15
  by
• 12:16
  horrific
• 12:16
  events.
• 12:17
  And
• 12:17
  so
• 12:18
  the
• 12:18
  pain
• 12:19
  and
• 12:19
  the
• 12:19
  hard
• 12:19
  things
• 12:20
  aren't
• 12:20
  what
• 12:20
  scares
• 12:21
  them
• 12:21
  the
• 12:21
  most.
• 12:21
  What
• 12:22
  scares
• 12:22
  them
• 12:22
  the
• 12:22
  most
• 12:23
  is
• 12:23
  actually
• 12:24
  welcoming
• 12:24
  in
• 12:24
  goodness
• 12:25
  again,
• 12:26
  is
• 12:26
  learning
• 12:26
  how
• 12:27
  to
• 12:27
  live
• 12:28
  on
• 12:28
  the
• 12:28
  other
• 12:29
  side
• 12:29
  of
• 12:29
  what
• 12:30
  happened
• 12:30
  to
• 12:30
  them.
• 12:31
  And
• 12:31
  too
• 12:31
  often,
• 12:32
  we
• 12:32
  stay
• 12:32
  stuck
• 12:33
  in
• 12:33
  survival
• 12:34
  mode
• 12:34
  and
• 12:34
  we
• 12:35
  don't
• 12:35
  even
• 12:35
  realize
• 12:35
  that's
• 12:36
  what
• 12:36
  we're
• 12:36
  doing,
• 12:36
  is
• 12:37
  that
• 12:37
  we're
• 12:37
  just
• 12:38
  trying
• 12:38
  to
• 12:38
  keep
• 12:38
  one
• 12:39
  foot
• 12:39
  in
• 12:39
  front
• 12:39
  of
• 12:39
  the
• 12:39
  other
• 12:39
  and
• 12:40
  keep
• 12:40
  going
• 12:40
  in
• 12:41
  whatever
• 12:41
  way
• 12:41
  without
• 12:42
  realizing.
• 12:43
  No,
• 12:43
  we
• 12:43
  can
• 12:44
  be
• 12:44
  more
• 12:44
  in
• 12:45
  control
• 12:45
  of
• 12:45
  our
• 12:45
  life.
• 12:46
  We
• 12:46
  can
• 12:46
  slow
• 12:47
  down.
• 12:47
  We
• 12:47
  can
• 12:47
  notice
• 12:48
  the
• 12:48
  goodness
• 12:48
  that's
• 12:49
  already
• 12:49
  happening
• 12:49
  in
• 12:50
  the
• 12:50
  present
• 12:50
  moment.
• 12:51
  And
• 12:52
  when
• 12:52
  you
• 12:52
  are
• 12:53
  someone
• 12:53
  who's
• 12:54
  living
• 12:54
  in
• 12:54
  survival
• 12:55
  mode,
• 12:55
  you're
• 12:55
  not
• 12:55
  thinking
• 12:55
  about
• 12:56
  the
• 12:56
  present
• 12:56
  moment.
• 12:57
  You're
• 12:57
  thinking
• 12:57
  about
• 12:58
  the
• 12:58
  future,
• 12:58
  because
• 12:59
  you're
• 12:59
  thinking
• 12:59
  about,
• 13:00
  what
• 13:00
  are
• 13:00
  the
• 13:00
  plans
• 13:01
  I
• 13:01
  need
• 13:01
  to
• 13:01
  have
• 13:01
  in
• 13:01
  place
• 13:01
  in
• 13:02
  order
• 13:02
  to
• 13:02
  be
• 13:02
  able
• 13:02
  to
• 13:02
  be
• 13:03
  safe
• 13:03
  if
• 13:03
  xyz,
• 13:05
  all
• 13:05
  of
• 13:05
  these
• 13:05
  things
• 13:05
  happen.
• 13:06
  Right?
• 13:06
  So
• 13:06
  your
• 13:07
  mind
• 13:07
  is
• 13:07
  spinning
• 13:07
  about
• 13:08
  all
• 13:08
  the
• 13:08
  possible
• 13:08
  outcomes
• 13:09
  so
• 13:09
  that
• 13:09
  you
• 13:09
  can
• 13:10
  have
• 13:10
  all
• 13:11
  the
• 13:11
  possible
• 13:11
  solutions
• 13:12
  for
• 13:12
  what
• 13:12
  to
• 13:12
  do
• 13:13
  and
• 13:13
  how
• 13:13
  to
• 13:13
  prepare
• 13:13
  yourself
• 13:14
  for
• 13:14
  those
• 13:15
  things.
• 13:16
  And
• 13:16
  so
• 13:16
  for
• 13:16
  me,
• 13:17
  working
• 13:17
  with
• 13:17
  trauma
• 13:17
  survivors,
• 13:18
  it's
• 13:18
  about
• 13:19
  bringing
• 13:19
  them
• 13:19
  back
• 13:20
  to
• 13:20
  the
• 13:20
  present
• 13:20
  moment
• 13:21
  and
• 13:21
  saying,
• 13:21
  hey,
• 13:22
  where
• 13:23
  you
• 13:23
  are
• 13:23
  right
• 13:23
  now,
• 13:24
  what
• 13:24
  is
• 13:25
  good?
• 13:25
  What
• 13:25
  is
• 13:26
  good?
• 13:26
  What
• 13:26
  could
• 13:27
  you
• 13:27
  label
• 13:28
  as
• 13:28
  good
• 13:29
  right
• 13:29
  here
• 13:29
  in
• 13:29
  this
• 13:30
  moment?
• 13:30
  And
• 13:31
  maybe
• 13:31
  it's,
• 13:31
  I
• 13:32
  can
• 13:32
  see
• 13:32
  a
• 13:32
  tree,
• 13:33
  or
• 13:33
  it's,
• 13:33
  I'm
• 13:34
  in
• 13:34
  Seattle
• 13:34
  and
• 13:34
  it's
• 13:35
  raining
• 13:35
  or
• 13:36
  something.
• 13:36
  That.
• 13:37
  What
• 13:37
  feels
• 13:37
  good
• 13:38
  right
• 13:38
  now?
• 13:38
  My
• 13:38
  dog
• 13:38
  is
• 13:39
  sitting
• 13:39
  next
• 13:39
  to
• 13:39
  me.
• 13:40
  I
• 13:40
  have
• 13:40
  my.
• 13:41
  My
• 13:41
  son
• 13:41
  is
• 13:41
  safe.
• 13:42
  My
• 13:42
  husband
• 13:42
  is
• 13:42
  healthy,
• 13:43
  whatever
• 13:43
  the
• 13:44
  case
• 13:44
  might
• 13:44
  be.
• 13:44
  Right?
• 13:44
  You
• 13:45
  name
• 13:45
  those
• 13:45
  things.
• 13:47
  Okay?
• 13:47
  And
• 13:48
  then
• 13:48
  let's
• 13:48
  build
• 13:48
  from
• 13:48
  there.
• 13:49
  Because
• 13:50
  goodness
• 13:50
  has
• 13:50
  already
• 13:51
  found
• 13:51
  its
• 13:51
  way
• 13:51
  to
• 13:51
  you.
• 13:52
  You
• 13:52
  just
• 13:52
  hadn't
• 13:53
  recognized
• 13:53
  it
• 13:53
  yet.
• 13:54
  So
• 13:54
  let's
• 13:54
  start
• 13:55
  by
• 13:55
  recognizing
• 13:56
  what
• 13:56
  we
• 13:56
  see
• 13:56
  in
• 13:57
  front
• 13:57
  of
• 13:57
  us.
• 13:58
  And
• 13:58
  it's
• 13:59
  important
• 13:59
  to
• 13:59
  know,
• 14:00
  for
• 14:00
  the
• 14:00
  people
• 14:00
  listening
• 14:00
  again,
• 14:01
  is
• 14:01
  that
• 14:01
  when
• 14:01
  you
• 14:01
  start
• 14:02
  to
• 14:02
  do
• 14:02
  that,
• 14:02
  when
• 14:02
  you
• 14:03
  start
• 14:03
  to
• 14:03
  consciously
• 14:04
  look
• 14:04
  for
• 14:04
  the
• 14:04
  good
• 14:05
  around
• 14:05
  you,
• 14:05
  it's.
• 14:06
  It
• 14:06
  trains
• 14:07
  your
• 14:07
  brain
• 14:07
  to
• 14:08
  start
• 14:08
  doing
• 14:08
  that
• 14:08
  because
• 14:09
  you're
• 14:09
  so
• 14:10
  wired
• 14:10
  to
• 14:10
  scan
• 14:11
  for
• 14:11
  everything
• 14:11
  negative
• 14:12
  you
• 14:12
  go
• 14:12
  out,
• 14:13
  like
• 14:13
  you
• 14:13
  said,
• 14:13
  you
• 14:13
  go
• 14:13
  out
• 14:13
  on
• 14:14
  a
• 14:14
  rainy
• 14:14
  day
• 14:14
  in
• 14:14
  Seattle,
• 14:16
  and
• 14:16
  instead
• 14:16
  of
• 14:16
  being
• 14:16
  like,
• 14:17
  I
• 14:17
  think
• 14:17
  there's
• 14:17
  a
• 14:17
  sun
• 14:18
  out
• 14:18
  there,
• 14:18
  you're
• 14:18
  like,
• 14:19
  oh,
• 14:19
  my
• 14:19
  God,
• 14:19
  this
• 14:19
  is
• 14:19
  miserable.
• 14:20
  You're
• 14:20
  trained
• 14:21
  to
• 14:21
  scan
• 14:21
  for
• 14:21
  bad,
• 14:22
  where
• 14:23
  eventually,
• 14:24
  if
• 14:24
  you
• 14:25
  can
• 14:25
  just
• 14:25
  take
• 14:25
  an.
• 14:25
  Especially
• 14:26
  even
• 14:26
  in
• 14:26
  an
• 14:26
  anxious
• 14:27
  moment
• 14:27
  where
• 14:27
  you're
• 14:28
  pretty
• 14:28
  heightened,
• 14:29
  sitting
• 14:29
  there
• 14:29
  and
• 14:30
  just
• 14:30
  looking
• 14:30
  around
• 14:30
  and
• 14:31
  being
• 14:31
  like,
• 14:31
  oh,
• 14:31
  this
• 14:31
  is
• 14:32
  cool.
• 14:32
  Like,
• 14:32
  I'm
• 14:32
  looking
• 14:33
  at
• 14:33
  a
• 14:33
  picture
• 14:33
  of
• 14:33
  my
• 14:33
  children.
• 14:34
  That
• 14:34
  is
• 14:34
  good,
• 14:34
  that
• 14:35
  is
• 14:35
  safe.
• 14:35
  That
• 14:35
  is
• 14:36
  something
• 14:36
  right
• 14:36
  now.
• 14:37
  Like,
• 14:37
  I
• 14:37
  love
• 14:37
  my
• 14:37
  kids,
• 14:38
  and
• 14:38
  you
• 14:38
  could
• 14:38
  snowball
• 14:39
  that
• 14:39
  way.
• 14:40
  But
• 14:40
  it
• 14:40
  does
• 14:40
  take
• 14:40
  some
• 14:41
  conscious
• 14:41
  effort.
• 14:41
  And
• 14:42
  I
• 14:42
  think
• 14:43
  in
• 14:43
  healing,
• 14:43
  everything
• 14:44
  needs
• 14:44
  to
• 14:44
  be
• 14:45
  intentional.
• 14:46
  Oh,
• 14:46
  yeah.
• 14:46
  And
• 14:47
  it's
• 14:47
  easy
• 14:48
  to
• 14:48
  label
• 14:49
  looking
• 14:49
  for
• 14:49
  the
• 14:49
  good
• 14:50
  as,
• 14:50
  like,
• 14:50
  this,
• 14:51
  like,
• 14:51
  toxic
• 14:51
  positivity,
• 14:52
  right?
• 14:52
  It
• 14:52
  often
• 14:52
  gets
• 14:53
  associated
• 14:53
  with
• 14:54
  that.
• 14:54
  And
• 14:54
  so
• 14:55
  I
• 14:55
  want
• 14:55
  to
• 14:55
  clarify,
• 14:55
  like,
• 14:56
  it's
• 14:56
  not
• 14:56
  just,
• 14:56
  oh,
• 14:56
  ignore
• 14:57
  all
• 14:57
  the
• 14:57
  things
• 14:57
  that
• 14:58
  are,
• 14:58
  like,
• 14:58
  falling
• 14:58
  apart
• 14:58
  in
• 14:59
  your
• 14:59
  life
• 14:59
  and
• 14:59
  just
• 15:00
  be
• 15:00
  happy,
• 15:00
  right?
• 15:01
  Like,
• 15:01
  it's
• 15:01
  not
• 15:01
  that.
• 15:02
  Like,
• 15:02
  just
• 15:02
  be
• 15:03
  happy
• 15:03
  is
• 15:03
  the
• 15:04
  language
• 15:04
  of
• 15:04
  toxic
• 15:04
  positivity,
• 15:05
  right?
• 15:05
  Because
• 15:06
  that's
• 15:06
  not
• 15:06
  realistic.
• 15:07
  But
• 15:08
  positivity
• 15:09
  in
• 15:09
  and
• 15:09
  of
• 15:09
  itself
• 15:10
  is
• 15:10
  not
• 15:10
  toxic.
• 15:11
  And
• 15:12
  so
• 15:12
  telling
• 15:12
  someone
• 15:13
  when
• 15:13
  they're
• 15:13
  going
• 15:13
  through
• 15:14
  something
• 15:14
  hard
• 15:15
  to
• 15:15
  just
• 15:15
  be
• 15:15
  happy,
• 15:16
  that's
• 15:16
  toxic
• 15:17
  positivity,
• 15:17
  right?
• 15:17
  To
• 15:18
  always
• 15:18
  look
• 15:18
  on
• 15:18
  the
• 15:18
  bright
• 15:18
  side,
• 15:19
  that
• 15:19
  everything
• 15:19
  always
• 15:19
  has
• 15:19
  a
• 15:20
  bright
• 15:20
  side.
• 15:20
  That
• 15:20
  might
• 15:20
  be
• 15:21
  true,
• 15:21
  but
• 15:21
  in
• 15:21
  the
• 15:22
  moment,
• 15:22
  it's
• 15:22
  not
• 15:22
  always
• 15:23
  easy
• 15:23
  to
• 15:23
  do
• 15:24
  that.
• 15:24
  And
• 15:24
  our
• 15:24
  brain
• 15:25
  does
• 15:25
  have
• 15:25
  a
• 15:26
  negativity
• 15:26
  bias.
• 15:27
  It
• 15:27
  is
• 15:27
  always
• 15:27
  going
• 15:28
  to
• 15:28
  look
• 15:28
  for
• 15:29
  what
• 15:29
  could
• 15:29
  possibly
• 15:30
  go
• 15:30
  wrong.
• 15:31
  Because
• 15:31
  what
• 15:31
  could
• 15:32
  possibly
• 15:32
  go
• 15:32
  wrong
• 15:33
  is
• 15:33
  what
• 15:33
  keeps
• 15:33
  us
• 15:33
  safe,
• 15:34
  right?
• 15:34
  If
• 15:35
  I'm
• 15:35
  always
• 15:35
  looking
• 15:35
  for
• 15:36
  how
• 15:36
  things
• 15:36
  are
• 15:36
  going
• 15:36
  to
• 15:36
  go,
• 15:36
  right?
• 15:37
  From
• 15:37
  an
• 15:37
  evolutionary
• 15:38
  standpoint,
• 15:39
  that
• 15:39
  does
• 15:40
  nothing
• 15:40
  for
• 15:40
  helping
• 15:41
  me
• 15:41
  to
• 15:41
  be
• 15:41
  able
• 15:41
  to
• 15:41
  survive.
• 15:42
  But
• 15:42
  if
• 15:43
  I
• 15:43
  know
• 15:43
  all
• 15:43
  the
• 15:43
  ways
• 15:43
  it
• 15:44
  can
• 15:44
  go
• 15:44
  wrong,
• 15:45
  that
• 15:45
  is
• 15:45
  going
• 15:46
  to
• 15:46
  protect
• 15:46
  me
• 15:47
  from
• 15:47
  potential
• 15:48
  danger.
• 15:48
  And
• 15:49
  so
• 15:49
  it
• 15:49
  makes
• 15:49
  sense
• 15:50
  why
• 15:50
  our
• 15:50
  brain
• 15:50
  does
• 15:50
  that.
• 15:51
  But
• 15:51
  what
• 15:52
  we
• 15:52
  need
• 15:52
  to
• 15:52
  be
• 15:52
  able
• 15:52
  to
• 15:53
  tell
• 15:53
  ourselves
• 15:53
  and
• 15:54
  why,
• 15:54
  like,
• 15:54
  what
• 15:55
  separates
• 15:55
  this
• 15:55
  from
• 15:55
  toxic
• 15:56
  positivity
• 15:56
  is
• 15:57
  the
• 15:57
  fact
• 15:57
  that
• 15:57
  we're
• 15:57
  telling
• 15:58
  ourselves
• 15:59
  that
• 15:59
  we're
• 15:59
  safe
• 16:00
  enough
• 16:00
  to
• 16:00
  see
• 16:00
  both.
• 16:01
  Like,
• 16:01
  I
• 16:02
  can
• 16:02
  notice
• 16:03
  the
• 16:03
  ways
• 16:03
  that
• 16:03
  things
• 16:04
  are
• 16:04
  going
• 16:04
  wrong,
• 16:04
  and
• 16:05
  I
• 16:05
  can
• 16:05
  also
• 16:05
  notice
• 16:06
  the
• 16:06
  way
• 16:06
  that
• 16:06
  things
• 16:06
  are
• 16:07
  going,
• 16:07
  right?
• 16:08
  And
• 16:08
  because
• 16:09
  I
• 16:09
  can
• 16:09
  hold
• 16:10
  two
• 16:10
  things
• 16:11
  at
• 16:11
  the
• 16:11
  exact
• 16:12
  same
• 16:12
  time,
• 16:12
  because
• 16:12
  I'm
• 16:13
  capable
• 16:13
  of
• 16:13
  that,
• 16:13
  right?
• 16:14
  I
• 16:14
  can
• 16:14
  hold
• 16:14
  the
• 16:15
  complexity
• 16:15
  of,
• 16:16
  yeah,
• 16:16
  there's
• 16:17
  a
• 16:17
  lot
• 16:17
  that
• 16:17
  could
• 16:17
  be
• 16:18
  going
• 16:18
  wrong
• 16:18
  here,
• 16:18
  but
• 16:19
  there's
• 16:19
  also
• 16:19
  things
• 16:20
  that
• 16:20
  are
• 16:20
  going
• 16:20
  right,
• 16:21
  Then
• 16:21
  I
• 16:22
  can
• 16:22
  remind
• 16:22
  my
• 16:23
  mind
• 16:23
  that
• 16:24
  every
• 16:24
  time
• 16:25
  that
• 16:25
  I
• 16:25
  think
• 16:26
  that
• 16:26
  everything
• 16:26
  is
• 16:26
  falling
• 16:27
  apart
• 16:27
  and
• 16:27
  everything
• 16:28
  is
• 16:28
  terrible
• 16:28
  and
• 16:28
  everything
• 16:29
  is
• 16:29
  wrong,
• 16:30
  that's
• 16:30
  not
• 16:30
  true.
• 16:31
  Because
• 16:32
  I
• 16:32
  can
• 16:32
  now
• 16:32
  disrupt
• 16:33
  that
• 16:33
  by
• 16:33
  saying,
• 16:33
  but
• 16:34
  these
• 16:34
  are
• 16:34
  the
• 16:34
  things
• 16:34
  that
• 16:34
  are
• 16:34
  going,
• 16:35
  right?
• 16:36
  And
• 16:36
  so
• 16:36
  life
• 16:37
  is
• 16:37
  more
• 16:37
  complex
• 16:38
  in
• 16:39
  any
• 16:39
  given
• 16:39
  moment
• 16:40
  than
• 16:40
  just,
• 16:41
  oh,
• 16:41
  think
• 16:42
  happy,
• 16:42
  or
• 16:42
  everything
• 16:43
  sucks.
• 16:44
  Right?
• 16:44
  There's
• 16:44
  an
• 16:44
  in
• 16:45
  between
• 16:45
  that
• 16:45
  we
• 16:45
  have
• 16:45
  to
• 16:46
  keep
• 16:46
  an
• 16:46
  eye
• 16:46
  out
• 16:46
  for.
• 16:47
  That
• 16:47
  is
• 16:47
  where
• 16:48
  true
• 16:48
  safety
• 16:48
  is,
• 16:49
  that
• 16:49
  knowing,
• 16:50
  yes,
• 16:50
  there
• 16:50
  are
• 16:51
  some
• 16:51
  things
• 16:51
  that
• 16:51
  I
• 16:51
  don't
• 16:51
  love
• 16:52
  about
• 16:52
  this
• 16:52
  experience,
• 16:52
  and
• 16:53
  yes,
• 16:53
  there
• 16:53
  are
• 16:53
  some
• 16:54
  things
• 16:54
  that
• 16:54
  I
• 16:54
  do.
• 16:55
  And
• 16:55
  I'm
• 16:55
  okay
• 16:56
  in
• 16:56
  both.
• 16:57
  I'm
• 16:57
  holding
• 16:57
  myself
• 16:58
  steady
• 16:58
  in
• 16:59
  both.
• 16:59
  Absolutely.
• 17:00
  And
• 17:00
  that
• 17:01
  is
• 17:01
  a
• 17:01
  balancing
• 17:01
  act
• 17:02
  every
• 17:02
  day,
• 17:02
  and
• 17:02
  especially
• 17:03
  when
• 17:03
  you
• 17:03
  grew
• 17:04
  up
• 17:04
  in
• 17:04
  that
• 17:05
  negativity,
• 17:06
  because
• 17:06
  you're
• 17:06
  so
• 17:07
  wired,
• 17:07
  you
• 17:07
  don't
• 17:07
  want
• 17:08
  to
• 17:08
  be
• 17:08
  like,
• 17:08
  oh,
• 17:08
  everything's
• 17:09
  good.
• 17:09
  Just
• 17:09
  think
• 17:09
  happy.
• 17:10
  It's
• 17:10
  like
• 17:10
  having
• 17:10
  somebody.
• 17:11
  It's
• 17:11
  like
• 17:12
  telling
• 17:12
  somebody
• 17:12
  just
• 17:12
  to
• 17:13
  calm
• 17:13
  down
• 17:13
  when
• 17:13
  they're
• 17:13
  having
• 17:14
  an
• 17:14
  anxiety
• 17:14
  attack.
• 17:15
  Like,
• 17:15
  the
• 17:15
  worst
• 17:16
  thing
• 17:16
  you
• 17:16
  can
• 17:16
  say.
• 17:16
  To
• 17:16
  someone,
• 17:16
  you
• 17:16
  might
• 17:17
  as
• 17:17
  well
• 17:17
  hit
• 17:17
  them
• 17:17
  with
• 17:17
  a
• 17:17
  T4.
• 17:19
  It's
• 17:19
  that
• 17:20
  easy.
• 17:20
  Why
• 17:20
  didn't
• 17:21
  I
• 17:21
  think
• 17:21
  of
• 17:21
  that?
• 17:23
  It
• 17:23
  was
• 17:23
  that
• 17:23
  easy.
• 17:23
  We'd
• 17:24
  all
• 17:24
  do
• 17:24
  it,
• 17:24
  right?
• 17:25
  And
• 17:25
  that's
• 17:25
  why
• 17:26
  I
• 17:26
  think
• 17:26
  it's
• 17:26
  so
• 17:26
  important.
• 17:27
  Again,
• 17:27
  going
• 17:27
  back
• 17:28
  to
• 17:28
  what
• 17:29
  do
• 17:29
  is
• 17:30
  you
• 17:30
  need
• 17:30
  those
• 17:31
  pattern
• 17:31
  disconnects
• 17:32
  or
• 17:33
  those
• 17:33
  pattern
• 17:33
  interrupts
• 17:34
  when
• 17:34
  you're
• 17:34
  going
• 17:34
  through
• 17:35
  that.
• 17:35
  Maybe
• 17:35
  it's
• 17:36
  not
• 17:36
  a
• 17:37
  slow,
• 17:37
  deep
• 17:37
  breath,
• 17:38
  maybe
• 17:38
  it's
• 17:38
  shaking,
• 17:38
  Maybe
• 17:39
  it's
• 17:39
  whatever
• 17:39
  you
• 17:40
  need
• 17:40
  at
• 17:40
  the
• 17:40
  moment,
• 17:41
  but
• 17:41
  it's
• 17:42
  changing
• 17:42
  that
• 17:42
  pattern
• 17:43
  real
• 17:43
  quickly
• 17:43
  and
• 17:44
  being
• 17:44
  able
• 17:44
  to
• 17:44
  shift
• 17:45
  in
• 17:45
  the
• 17:45
  moment.
• 17:46
  Talk
• 17:46
  a
• 17:47
  little
• 17:47
  bit
• 17:47
  about
• 17:47
  that.
• 17:48
  How
• 17:48
  do
• 17:48
  you
• 17:48
  help
• 17:48
  your
• 17:49
  people
• 17:49
  do
• 17:49
  that?
• 17:49
  Shifting
• 17:50
  in
• 17:50
  the
• 17:50
  moment.
• 17:51
  Yeah.
• 17:51
  So
• 17:51
  the
• 17:52
  first
• 17:52
  thing.
• 17:52
  So
• 17:52
  when
• 17:52
  we
• 17:52
  bring
• 17:53
  ourselves
• 17:53
  into
• 17:53
  the
• 17:53
  present
• 17:54
  moment,
• 17:54
  that's
• 17:54
  always
• 17:54
  first
• 17:55
  and
• 17:55
  foremost.
• 17:55
  Because
• 17:56
  generally
• 17:57
  speaking,
• 17:57
  I
• 17:57
  don't
• 17:57
  do
• 17:58
  this
• 17:58
  work
• 17:58
  with
• 17:58
  people
• 17:58
  when
• 17:58
  they're
• 17:59
  in
• 17:59
  immediate
• 17:59
  chaos.
• 18:00
  Right?
• 18:00
  And
• 18:01
  so,
• 18:01
  generally
• 18:01
  speaking,
• 18:02
  coming
• 18:02
  into
• 18:02
  the
• 18:02
  present
• 18:03
  moment,
• 18:03
  life
• 18:04
  isn't
• 18:04
  falling
• 18:04
  apart.
• 18:05
  It
• 18:05
  might
• 18:05
  feel
• 18:06
  like
• 18:06
  it
• 18:06
  is,
• 18:07
  but
• 18:07
  it
• 18:07
  isn't.
• 18:08
  And
• 18:09
  it's
• 18:09
  an
• 18:09
  important
• 18:09
  distinction
• 18:10
  that
• 18:10
  what
• 18:10
  we
• 18:10
  feel
• 18:11
  and
• 18:11
  what
• 18:12
  is
• 18:12
  fact
• 18:12
  is
• 18:12
  not
• 18:13
  always
• 18:13
  the
• 18:13
  same
• 18:13
  thing.
• 18:14
  And
• 18:14
  it
• 18:14
  helps
• 18:15
  us
• 18:15
  to
• 18:15
  come
• 18:15
  into
• 18:15
  the
• 18:15
  present
• 18:16
  moment
• 18:16
  and
• 18:16
  go,
• 18:16
  okay,
• 18:17
  no,
• 18:17
  right
• 18:17
  now,
• 18:17
  in
• 18:18
  this
• 18:18
  very
• 18:18
  second,
• 18:19
  the
• 18:19
  world
• 18:19
  is
• 18:20
  not
• 18:20
  burning
• 18:20
  down.
• 18:21
  Okay,
• 18:21
  so
• 18:22
  we're
• 18:22
  gonna
• 18:22
  start
• 18:22
  there
• 18:22
  so
• 18:23
  we
• 18:23
  know
• 18:23
  it's
• 18:23
  not
• 18:23
  burning
• 18:24
  down.
• 18:24
  We
• 18:24
  know
• 18:24
  that
• 18:24
  we're
• 18:25
  okay
• 18:25
  right
• 18:25
  here
• 18:25
  in
• 18:25
  this
• 18:26
  present
• 18:26
  moment.
• 18:27
  Now,
• 18:27
  if
• 18:28
  we
• 18:28
  know
• 18:28
  that
• 18:28
  we're
• 18:29
  okay
• 18:29
  and
• 18:30
  everything
• 18:30
  is,
• 18:30
  we
• 18:30
  know
• 18:31
  we're
• 18:31
  safe
• 18:31
  right
• 18:31
  now,
• 18:32
  let's
• 18:32
  start
• 18:32
  to
• 18:33
  think
• 18:33
  about
• 18:33
  what
• 18:33
  does
• 18:33
  our
• 18:33
  body
• 18:34
  need?
• 18:35
  And
• 18:35
  so
• 18:35
  it's
• 18:36
  safe
• 18:36
  enough
• 18:36
  to
• 18:36
  listen
• 18:37
  to
• 18:37
  our
• 18:37
  body,
• 18:38
  Because
• 18:38
  a
• 18:38
  lot
• 18:39
  of
• 18:39
  times
• 18:39
  we
• 18:39
  don't
• 18:39
  think
• 18:39
  that
• 18:40
  we
• 18:40
  can
• 18:40
  listen
• 18:40
  to
• 18:41
  Our
• 18:41
  body,
• 18:41
  because
• 18:41
  that
• 18:41
  requires
• 18:42
  too
• 18:42
  much
• 18:42
  effort,
• 18:42
  time,
• 18:43
  whatever.
• 18:43
  And
• 18:43
  our
• 18:44
  mind
• 18:44
  is
• 18:44
  just
• 18:44
  spinning
• 18:44
  and
• 18:45
  spinning.
• 18:45
  And
• 18:46
  so
• 18:46
  let's
• 18:46
  listen
• 18:46
  to
• 18:46
  our
• 18:47
  body.
• 18:47
  What
• 18:47
  does
• 18:47
  our
• 18:47
  body
• 18:48
  need?
• 18:48
  Would
• 18:48
  it
• 18:48
  feel
• 18:49
  good
• 18:49
  to
• 18:50
  lift
• 18:50
  our
• 18:50
  arms
• 18:50
  up
• 18:51
  over
• 18:51
  our
• 18:51
  head?
• 18:51
  Would
• 18:51
  it
• 18:52
  feel
• 18:52
  good
• 18:52
  to
• 18:52
  stretch?
• 18:53
  Would
• 18:53
  it
• 18:53
  feel
• 18:53
  good
• 18:53
  to
• 18:54
  run?
• 18:54
  Would
• 18:54
  it
• 18:54
  feel
• 18:54
  good
• 18:55
  to
• 18:56
  sit
• 18:56
  and
• 18:56
  lie
• 18:56
  down?
• 18:57
  What.
• 18:57
  What
• 18:58
  are
• 18:58
  we
• 18:58
  looking
• 18:58
  for
• 18:59
  here?
• 18:59
  And
• 19:00
  a
• 19:00
  lot
• 19:01
  of
• 19:01
  times
• 19:01
  people
• 19:01
  don't
• 19:01
  know
• 19:01
  the
• 19:02
  answer
• 19:02
  to
• 19:02
  that
• 19:02
  because
• 19:03
  they've
• 19:03
  never
• 19:04
  listened
• 19:04
  to
• 19:04
  their
• 19:05
  body.
• 19:05
  And
• 19:05
  so
• 19:05
  they're
• 19:06
  like,
• 19:06
  I
• 19:06
  have
• 19:06
  no
• 19:06
  idea.
• 19:06
  How
• 19:07
  would
• 19:07
  I
• 19:07
  know
• 19:07
  what
• 19:07
  that
• 19:07
  feels
• 19:08
  like?
• 19:08
  And
• 19:08
  I
• 19:08
  was
• 19:08
  like,
• 19:08
  so
• 19:08
  then
• 19:09
  we
• 19:09
  try
• 19:09
  it.
• 19:09
  All
• 19:09
  right?
• 19:10
  Try
• 19:10
  these
• 19:10
  things.
• 19:10
  So
• 19:11
  we'll
• 19:11
  do
• 19:11
  a
• 19:11
  few
• 19:11
  different
• 19:11
  kinds
• 19:12
  of
• 19:12
  activities.
• 19:13
  So
• 19:13
  it
• 19:13
  might
• 19:13
  be
• 19:14
  shaking,
• 19:14
  it
• 19:14
  might
• 19:15
  be
• 19:15
  running
• 19:15
  in
• 19:16
  place.
• 19:16
  It
• 19:16
  might
• 19:16
  be
• 19:17
  that
• 19:17
  we
• 19:17
  bring
• 19:17
  our
• 19:18
  knees
• 19:18
  into
• 19:18
  our
• 19:19
  chest
• 19:19
  and
• 19:19
  curl
• 19:19
  up
• 19:19
  into
• 19:20
  a
• 19:20
  tight
• 19:20
  little
• 19:20
  ball.
• 19:21
  It
• 19:21
  might
• 19:21
  be
• 19:21
  humming.
• 19:22
  And
• 19:22
  so
• 19:22
  it's
• 19:22
  like,
• 19:23
  let's
• 19:23
  just
• 19:23
  play
• 19:24
  around.
• 19:25
  Let's
• 19:25
  play
• 19:26
  and
• 19:26
  see
• 19:27
  what
• 19:27
  actually
• 19:28
  feels
• 19:28
  interesting
• 19:29
  or
• 19:30
  where
• 19:30
  we
• 19:30
  create
• 19:31
  sensations.
• 19:31
  So
• 19:31
  we'll
• 19:32
  shake
• 19:32
  our
• 19:32
  hands
• 19:32
  out
• 19:33
  for
• 19:33
  a
• 19:33
  minute
• 19:33
  straight,
• 19:34
  right?
• 19:34
  Like,
• 19:34
  you
• 19:34
  just
• 19:35
  sit
• 19:35
  here
• 19:35
  and
• 19:35
  do
• 19:35
  this
• 19:36
  and
• 19:36
  then
• 19:36
  stop.
• 19:37
  And
• 19:37
  then
• 19:37
  you
• 19:37
  realize
• 19:38
  how
• 19:38
  much
• 19:38
  sensation
• 19:39
  you
• 19:39
  create
• 19:39
  in
• 19:39
  your
• 19:40
  fingertips
• 19:40
  and
• 19:41
  just
• 19:41
  feel
• 19:41
  that.
• 19:42
  Because
• 19:43
  we
• 19:43
  oftentimes
• 19:45
  stay
• 19:45
  so
• 19:45
  far
• 19:46
  in
• 19:46
  our
• 19:46
  head
• 19:47
  that
• 19:47
  we're
• 19:47
  so
• 19:48
  disconnected
• 19:48
  from
• 19:49
  our
• 19:49
  bodies
• 19:49
  that
• 19:50
  we
• 19:50
  don't
• 19:50
  even
• 19:50
  know
• 19:50
  what
• 19:51
  sensation
• 19:51
  even
• 19:52
  truly
• 19:52
  feels
• 19:53
  like
• 19:54
  in
• 19:54
  the
• 19:54
  body.
• 19:55
  And
• 19:55
  so
• 19:55
  depending
• 19:56
  on
• 19:56
  where
• 19:56
  a
• 19:56
  person
• 19:56
  is,
• 19:56
  where
• 19:57
  we
• 19:57
  will
• 19:57
  make
• 19:57
  those
• 19:57
  kinds
• 19:58
  of
• 19:58
  decisions
• 19:59
  about
• 20:00
  what?
• 20:00
  How
• 20:00
  fluent
• 20:01
  are
• 20:01
  they
• 20:01
  in
• 20:02
  their
• 20:02
  own
• 20:02
  body?
• 20:02
  Do
• 20:03
  you
• 20:03
  understand
• 20:03
  the
• 20:03
  language
• 20:04
  of
• 20:04
  your
• 20:04
  body?
• 20:04
  And
• 20:05
  so
• 20:05
  what
• 20:05
  your
• 20:05
  body
• 20:05
  is
• 20:06
  asking
• 20:06
  for?
• 20:07
  Stretching
• 20:07
  always
• 20:08
  feels
• 20:08
  good
• 20:09
  in
• 20:09
  the
• 20:09
  body,
• 20:09
  right?
• 20:09
  Because
• 20:10
  we're
• 20:10
  so
• 20:10
  tight
• 20:11
  and
• 20:11
  tense,
• 20:12
  anxious
• 20:13
  all
• 20:13
  the
• 20:14
  time
• 20:14
  that
• 20:14
  we're
• 20:14
  constantly
• 20:15
  tense.
• 20:15
  And
• 20:16
  so
• 20:16
  stretching
• 20:16
  and
• 20:17
  doing
• 20:17
  yoga,
• 20:18
  very
• 20:18
  gentle
• 20:19
  yoga,
• 20:19
  kind
• 20:19
  of
• 20:20
  things
• 20:20
  generally
• 20:21
  feel
• 20:21
  really
• 20:21
  good.
• 20:21
  But
• 20:22
  then
• 20:22
  some
• 20:22
  people
• 20:22
  will
• 20:22
  go,
• 20:23
  oh,
• 20:23
  my
• 20:23
  God,
• 20:23
  I
• 20:23
  can't
• 20:23
  do
• 20:24
  this.
• 20:24
  It's
• 20:25
  so
• 20:25
  slow.
• 20:26
  And
• 20:26
  I'm
• 20:26
  like,
• 20:26
  ah,
• 20:27
  that's
• 20:28
  information.
• 20:28
  So
• 20:29
  you
• 20:29
  need
• 20:29
  to
• 20:29
  move
• 20:29
  faster.
• 20:30
  So
• 20:30
  the
• 20:31
  fact
• 20:31
  that
• 20:31
  you're
• 20:31
  getting
• 20:31
  frustrated
• 20:32
  by
• 20:32
  the
• 20:33
  speed
• 20:33
  in
• 20:33
  which
• 20:33
  we're
• 20:34
  moving
• 20:34
  means
• 20:34
  your
• 20:35
  body
• 20:35
  is
• 20:35
  asking
• 20:36
  for
• 20:37
  more
• 20:37
  movement,
• 20:38
  faster
• 20:38
  movement.
• 20:39
  So
• 20:39
  let's
• 20:39
  give
• 20:40
  it
• 20:40
  that.
• 20:40
  And
• 20:41
  so
• 20:41
  then
• 20:41
  they
• 20:41
  start
• 20:41
  to
• 20:41
  understand
• 20:42
  it
• 20:42
  and
• 20:42
  then
• 20:43
  they
• 20:43
  start
• 20:43
  to
• 20:43
  pay
• 20:43
  attention.
• 20:44
  And
• 20:44
  that's
• 20:44
  really.
• 20:44
  That's
• 20:45
  the
• 20:45
  start,
• 20:45
  right?
• 20:45
  It's
• 20:46
  what
• 20:46
  does
• 20:46
  your
• 20:46
  body
• 20:47
  want?
• 20:47
  And
• 20:48
  let's
• 20:48
  listen
• 20:48
  to
• 20:48
  it
• 20:49
  and
• 20:49
  let's
• 20:49
  respond.
• 20:50
  And
• 20:50
  then
• 20:50
  some
• 20:51
  people
• 20:51
  will
• 20:51
  be
• 20:51
  like,
• 20:51
  oh,
• 20:51
  my
• 20:51
  God,
• 20:52
  I
• 20:52
  just
• 20:52
  want
• 20:52
  to
• 20:52
  scream.
• 20:53
  Scream.
• 20:54
  Yes.
• 20:56
  Grab
• 20:56
  a
• 20:56
  pillow
• 20:57
  and
• 20:57
  scream
• 20:58
  into
• 20:58
  that
• 20:58
  pillow
• 20:58
  and.
• 20:59
  Or
• 20:59
  whatever.
• 21:00
  Let's
• 21:00
  do
• 21:01
  that.
• 21:01
  Yes,
• 21:01
  I
• 21:02
  love
• 21:02
  that.
• 21:02
  Or
• 21:02
  I
• 21:03
  want
• 21:03
  to
• 21:03
  squeeze
• 21:03
  something.
• 21:04
  And
• 21:05
  you're
• 21:05
  like,
• 21:05
  okay,
• 21:06
  yes,
• 21:06
  let's
• 21:06
  make
• 21:06
  fists
• 21:07
  and
• 21:07
  let's
• 21:07
  squeeze
• 21:07
  things.
• 21:08
  Absolutely.
• 21:08
  You
• 21:09
  just
• 21:09
  find
• 21:09
  the
• 21:09
  things
• 21:09
  because
• 21:10
  people,
• 21:10
  the
• 21:10
  language
• 21:11
  will
• 21:11
  come
• 21:11
  up
• 21:11
  for
• 21:12
  them,
• 21:12
  but
• 21:12
  they
• 21:12
  won't
• 21:12
  necessarily
• 21:13
  connect
• 21:14
  it
• 21:14
  to
• 21:14
  the
• 21:14
  body.
• 21:15
  And
• 21:15
  so
• 21:15
  then
• 21:15
  it's
• 21:16
  about.
• 21:16
  No,
• 21:16
  your
• 21:16
  body
• 21:16
  has
• 21:17
  been
• 21:17
  communicating
• 21:18
  the
• 21:18
  ways
• 21:18
  that
• 21:18
  it
• 21:18
  wants
• 21:19
  to
• 21:19
  move
• 21:19
  energy
• 21:20
  out
• 21:20
  of
• 21:20
  it.
• 21:21
  So
• 21:21
  let's
• 21:22
  really
• 21:22
  look
• 21:22
  at
• 21:23
  what
• 21:23
  that
• 21:23
  way
• 21:24
  is
• 21:24
  and
• 21:24
  explore
• 21:25
  it.
• 21:25
  And
• 21:26
  what
• 21:26
  worked
• 21:26
  for
• 21:26
  you
• 21:27
  5
• 21:27
  minutes
• 21:27
  ago
• 21:28
  May
• 21:28
  not
• 21:28
  be
• 21:28
  what
• 21:29
  your
• 21:29
  body
• 21:29
  needs
• 21:29
  now.
• 21:30
  And
• 21:30
  so
• 21:30
  this
• 21:30
  is
• 21:31
  an
• 21:31
  ongoing
• 21:32
  conversation
• 21:33
  that
• 21:33
  we're
• 21:33
  going
• 21:33
  to
• 21:33
  have
• 21:34
  with
• 21:34
  our
• 21:34
  bodies.
• 21:34
  And
• 21:35
  it's
• 21:35
  not
• 21:35
  going
• 21:35
  to
• 21:35
  be
• 21:36
  something
• 21:36
  that,
• 21:37
  like,
• 21:37
  where
• 21:37
  you
• 21:37
  think,
• 21:38
  oh,
• 21:38
  this
• 21:38
  is
• 21:38
  my
• 21:38
  list
• 21:39
  of
• 21:39
  things
• 21:39
  that
• 21:39
  I
• 21:39
  do
• 21:40
  every
• 21:40
  single
• 21:40
  day
• 21:41
  for
• 21:41
  my
• 21:41
  body.
• 21:42
  There
• 21:42
  are
• 21:42
  things
• 21:43
  that
• 21:43
  your
• 21:43
  body
• 21:43
  will
• 21:44
  prefer
• 21:45
  that
• 21:45
  you'll
• 21:45
  notice
• 21:45
  over
• 21:46
  time,
• 21:46
  like
• 21:46
  patterns
• 21:47
  that
• 21:47
  you
• 21:48
  know
• 21:48
  of,
• 21:48
  things
• 21:48
  that
• 21:48
  are
• 21:48
  preference.
• 21:49
  But
• 21:50
  no,
• 21:50
  it's
• 21:50
  an
• 21:50
  ongoing
• 21:51
  language.
• 21:52
  So
• 21:52
  it's
• 21:52
  always,
• 21:52
  what
• 21:53
  am
• 21:53
  I
• 21:53
  feeling
• 21:53
  like
• 21:53
  I
• 21:54
  need
• 21:54
  to
• 21:54
  do
• 21:54
  for
• 21:54
  my
• 21:54
  body
• 21:55
  today?
• 21:55
  I'm
• 21:56
  going
• 21:56
  back
• 21:56
  to
• 21:56
  where
• 21:56
  you
• 21:57
  said,
• 21:58
  first
• 22:00
  discern
• 22:00
  whether
• 22:01
  or
• 22:01
  not
• 22:01
  you're
• 22:02
  in
• 22:02
  a
• 22:02
  safe
• 22:02
  place.
• 22:03
  That's
• 22:03
  very
• 22:03
  important
• 22:03
  too,
• 22:04
  because
• 22:04
  like
• 22:04
  you
• 22:04
  said,
• 22:05
  you
• 22:05
  don't
• 22:05
  just
• 22:05
  want
• 22:05
  to
• 22:05
  be
• 22:05
  like,
• 22:06
  oh,
• 22:06
  danger,
• 22:06
  no,
• 22:06
  no,
• 22:07
  I
• 22:07
  got
• 22:07
  this.
• 22:07
  I'm
• 22:07
  just
• 22:08
  going
• 22:08
  to
• 22:08
  shake.
• 22:08
  No,
• 22:09
  but
• 22:10
  because
• 22:10
  a
• 22:10
  lot
• 22:10
  of
• 22:10
  people,
• 22:11
  I
• 22:11
  know
• 22:11
  it
• 22:11
  sounds
• 22:11
  crazy,
• 22:12
  but
• 22:12
  a
• 22:12
  lot
• 22:12
  of
• 22:12
  people
• 22:13
  are
• 22:13
  black
• 22:13
  and
• 22:13
  white,
• 22:13
  and
• 22:14
  especially
• 22:14
  people
• 22:14
  that
• 22:14
  came
• 22:15
  from
• 22:15
  those
• 22:15
  traumatic
• 22:15
  backgrounds,
• 22:16
  they
• 22:16
  are
• 22:16
  black
• 22:17
  and
• 22:17
  white
• 22:17
  thinkers.
• 22:18
  So
• 22:18
  it's,
• 22:19
  it's
• 22:20
  balance
• 22:20
  in
• 22:21
  everything.
• 22:21
  And
• 22:22
  learning
• 22:22
  to
• 22:22
  listen
• 22:22
  to
• 22:23
  your
• 22:23
  body
• 22:23
  when
• 22:23
  you
• 22:23
  first
• 22:24
  start
• 22:24
  doing
• 22:26
  is
• 22:26
  very
• 22:26
  foreign,
• 22:27
  Very
• 22:27
  foreign.
• 22:28
  And
• 22:30
  I
• 22:30
  always
• 22:30
  say
• 22:31
  when
• 22:31
  you've
• 22:31
  gotten
• 22:31
  along
• 22:32
  a
• 22:32
  little
• 22:32
  farther
• 22:33
  along
• 22:33
  in
• 22:33
  the
• 22:33
  process,
• 22:34
  do
• 22:34
  some,
• 22:34
  I
• 22:35
  call
• 22:35
  them
• 22:35
  gut
• 22:35
  checks.
• 22:36
  When
• 22:36
  someone
• 22:37
  says
• 22:37
  to
• 22:37
  me,
• 22:37
  oh,
• 22:37
  Tammy,
• 22:38
  I've
• 22:38
  forgiven
• 22:38
  him.
• 22:39
  Okay,
• 22:40
  that's
• 22:40
  cool.
• 22:41
  Let's
• 22:41
  wait.
• 22:41
  Five
• 22:41
  minutes
• 22:42
  later,
• 22:42
  I'm
• 22:42
  like,
• 22:43
  oh,
• 22:43
  what
• 22:43
  about
• 22:43
  your
• 22:43
  brother?
• 22:44
  And
• 22:44
  then
• 22:44
  they're
• 22:44
  like,
• 22:44
  oh,
• 22:45
  you
• 22:45
  just
• 22:45
  watch
• 22:46
  their,
• 22:46
  their
• 22:46
  shoulders
• 22:47
  go
• 22:47
  up.
• 22:47
  And
• 22:47
  then
• 22:47
  I'm
• 22:47
  like,
• 22:47
  okay,
• 22:48
  let's
• 22:48
  go
• 22:48
  back
• 22:48
  to
• 22:48
  that.
• 22:49
  Where
• 22:49
  did
• 22:50
  you
• 22:50
  feel
• 22:50
  that?
• 22:50
  Oh,
• 22:50
  my
• 22:51
  gosh,
• 22:51
  my
• 22:51
  stomach.
• 22:51
  I
• 22:52
  got
• 22:52
  this
• 22:52
  gut
• 22:52
  punch
• 22:52
  feeling.
• 22:53
  Okay,
• 22:53
  so
• 22:54
  logically,
• 22:55
  you've
• 22:55
  forgiven
• 22:56
  him.
• 22:56
  Your
• 22:57
  body
• 22:57
  has
• 22:57
  not
• 22:57
  gone
• 22:58
  through
• 22:58
  that
• 22:58
  process.
• 22:58
  So
• 22:59
  it's,
• 22:59
  you
• 22:59
  have
• 23:00
  to
• 23:00
  constantly,
• 23:00
  it's
• 23:01
  constant
• 23:01
  of
• 23:01
  checking
• 23:02
  in.
• 23:02
  I
• 23:02
  don't
• 23:02
  want
• 23:02
  to
• 23:02
  say
• 23:03
  analyzing
• 23:03
  because
• 23:03
  then
• 23:03
  you're
• 23:04
  going
• 23:04
  back
• 23:04
  to
• 23:04
  your
• 23:04
  mind
• 23:04
  again,
• 23:05
  but
• 23:05
  just
• 23:05
  feeling,
• 23:06
  feeling.
• 23:07
  Tell
• 23:07
  me
• 23:07
  about
• 23:07
  the
• 23:07
  first
• 23:07
  time
• 23:08
  someone
• 23:08
  ever
• 23:08
  told
• 23:08
  you
• 23:09
  that.
• 23:09
  Do
• 23:09
  you
• 23:09
  remember?
• 23:10
  First
• 23:10
  time
• 23:10
  someone
• 23:11
  told
• 23:11
  you
• 23:11
  where,
• 23:11
  like,
• 23:12
  where
• 23:12
  do
• 23:12
  you
• 23:12
  feel
• 23:12
  it?
• 23:13
  Or
• 23:13
  oh,
• 23:14
  gosh
• 23:14
  yeah,
• 23:14
  no,
• 23:14
  therapy
• 23:15
  was
• 23:15
  the
• 23:15
  first
• 23:16
  time,
• 23:16
  right?
• 23:16
  Those
• 23:16
  aren't
• 23:16
  conversations
• 23:17
  you
• 23:17
  really
• 23:17
  have,
• 23:18
  at
• 23:18
  least
• 23:18
  not
• 23:19
  in
• 23:19
  my
• 23:19
  world.
• 23:19
  It's
• 23:19
  not
• 23:19
  things
• 23:19
  that
• 23:20
  I'd
• 23:20
  had
• 23:20
  conversations
• 23:21
  with
• 23:21
  people
• 23:21
  about
• 23:21
  with
• 23:22
  my
• 23:22
  casual
• 23:22
  friends
• 23:23
  in
• 23:23
  day
• 23:23
  to
• 23:23
  day
• 23:23
  life.
• 23:24
  So
• 23:24
  in
• 23:24
  therapy.
• 23:24
  And
• 23:25
  she
• 23:25
  was
• 23:25
  like,
• 23:25
  okay,
• 23:25
  but
• 23:25
  where
• 23:25
  does
• 23:26
  that
• 23:26
  register
• 23:26
  in
• 23:26
  your
• 23:26
  body?
• 23:27
  And
• 23:27
  I
• 23:27
  was
• 23:27
  like,
• 23:27
  how
• 23:28
  in
• 23:28
  the
• 23:28
  hell
• 23:28
  am
• 23:28
  I
• 23:28
  supposed
• 23:29
  to
• 23:29
  know
• 23:29
  that?
• 23:29
  What
• 23:30
  a
• 23:30
  weird
• 23:30
  question.
• 23:30
  Then
• 23:31
  she
• 23:31
  was
• 23:31
  like,
• 23:32
  it's
• 23:32
  your
• 23:32
  body,
• 23:33
  you're
• 23:33
  living
• 23:34
  inside
• 23:34
  it.
• 23:35
  And
• 23:35
  I
• 23:36
  just,
• 23:36
  the
• 23:36
  fact
• 23:37
  that
• 23:37
  she
• 23:37
  reminded
• 23:38
  me
• 23:38
  you're
• 23:39
  living
• 23:39
  inside
• 23:39
  it,
• 23:40
  I
• 23:40
  was
• 23:40
  like,
• 23:40
  oh
• 23:41
  God,
• 23:42
  I
• 23:42
  am.
• 23:42
  Because
• 23:43
  when
• 23:43
  you
• 23:44
  go
• 23:44
  through
• 23:44
  life
• 23:44
  in
• 23:45
  survival
• 23:45
  mode,
• 23:45
  you
• 23:46
  feel
• 23:46
  like
• 23:46
  a
• 23:46
  floating
• 23:46
  head.
• 23:47
  You
• 23:47
  forget
• 23:48
  that
• 23:48
  the
• 23:48
  neck
• 23:48
  down
• 23:49
  exists
• 23:50
  and
• 23:50
  you
• 23:50
  just
• 23:51
  do.
• 23:51
  And
• 23:51
  so
• 23:52
  I
• 23:52
  was
• 23:52
  like,
• 23:52
  oh
• 23:52
  my
• 23:52
  God,
• 23:53
  I
• 23:53
  don't
• 23:53
  know.
• 23:54
  And
• 23:54
  so
• 23:54
  then
• 23:55
  it
• 23:55
  was
• 23:55
  a
• 23:56
  lot
• 23:56
  of
• 23:56
  the
• 23:56
  same
• 23:56
  kinds
• 23:57
  of
• 23:57
  things.
• 23:57
  Let's
• 23:57
  have
• 23:57
  a
• 23:57
  conversation
• 23:58
  with
• 23:58
  your
• 23:58
  body.
• 23:59
  Let's
• 23:59
  have
• 23:59
  a
• 23:59
  conversation.
• 24:00
  And
• 24:00
  like
• 24:00
  you
• 24:01
  said,
• 24:01
  it
• 24:01
  feels
• 24:01
  very
• 24:02
  foreign.
• 24:02
  It
• 24:02
  is
• 24:02
  very
• 24:03
  much
• 24:03
  touch
• 24:04
  like
• 24:04
  learning
• 24:04
  a
• 24:04
  foreign
• 24:05
  language
• 24:06
  because
• 24:06
  you're
• 24:07
  paying
• 24:07
  attention
• 24:07
  to
• 24:08
  the
• 24:08
  nuance
• 24:09
  of
• 24:09
  kind
• 24:10
  of
• 24:10
  behavior
• 24:11
  almost
• 24:12
  and
• 24:12
  feeling
• 24:12
  and
• 24:13
  sensation.
• 24:14
  And
• 24:14
  then
• 24:14
  you're
• 24:14
  using
• 24:15
  that
• 24:15
  to
• 24:15
  create
• 24:15
  a
• 24:16
  language
• 24:16
  that
• 24:16
  you
• 24:17
  can
• 24:17
  logically
• 24:18
  understand
• 24:18
  to
• 24:18
  be
• 24:18
  like,
• 24:19
  oh,
• 24:19
  my
• 24:19
  body's
• 24:20
  calling
• 24:20
  for
• 24:20
  this
• 24:20
  now.
• 24:21
  And
• 24:21
  it
• 24:21
  takes
• 24:22
  a
• 24:22
  lot,
• 24:22
  it
• 24:22
  takes
• 24:23
  a
• 24:23
  lot
• 24:23
  of
• 24:23
  conscious
• 24:24
  effort
• 24:24
  to
• 24:24
  do.
• 24:25
  But
• 24:25
  for
• 24:26
  me,
• 24:26
  it's
• 24:26
  my
• 24:27
  jaw.
• 24:27
  So
• 24:28
  much
• 24:29
  lives
• 24:29
  in
• 24:30
  my
• 24:30
  jaw.
• 24:31
  And
• 24:31
  so
• 24:31
  the
• 24:31
  second
• 24:32
  that
• 24:32
  something
• 24:33
  is
• 24:34
  stressful
• 24:34
  or
• 24:35
  that
• 24:35
  I'm
• 24:35
  thinking
• 24:35
  about
• 24:35
  something
• 24:36
  that's
• 24:36
  stressful
• 24:36
  or
• 24:37
  I'm
• 24:37
  future
• 24:37
  planning
• 24:38
  or
• 24:38
  whatever
• 24:38
  the
• 24:38
  case
• 24:38
  might
• 24:39
  be,
• 24:39
  clamping
• 24:40
  immediately
• 24:41
  happens
• 24:42
  and
• 24:42
  then
• 24:42
  doing
• 24:43
  jaw
• 24:43
  releases,
• 24:44
  right?
• 24:44
  So
• 24:45
  massaging
• 24:45
  the
• 24:45
  jaws
• 24:46
  and
• 24:46
  noticing
• 24:47
  being
• 24:47
  like,
• 24:47
  oh
• 24:48
  my
• 24:48
  gosh,
• 24:48
  the
• 24:48
  tension
• 24:49
  I
• 24:49
  hold
• 24:50
  here
• 24:51
  because
• 24:51
  I've
• 24:52
  never
• 24:52
  paid
• 24:52
  attention
• 24:52
  to
• 24:53
  my
• 24:53
  jaw,
• 24:53
  right?
• 24:54
  And
• 24:54
  so
• 24:54
  then
• 24:54
  you
• 24:55
  start
• 24:55
  doing
• 24:55
  these.
• 24:55
  I
• 24:56
  do
• 24:56
  them
• 24:56
  daily
• 24:56
  now,
• 24:57
  these
• 24:57
  massages
• 24:57
  on
• 24:58
  my
• 24:58
  jaw
• 24:58
  where
• 24:58
  I
• 24:59
  realize
• 24:59
  I'm
• 24:59
  like,
• 25:00
  like,
• 25:00
  oh
• 25:00
  my
• 25:00
  gosh,
• 25:01
  like
• 25:01
  how
• 25:02
  much
• 25:02
  tension
• 25:03
  you
• 25:03
  build
• 25:03
  up
• 25:04
  in
• 25:04
  the
• 25:04
  strongest
• 25:05
  muscle
• 25:05
  in
• 25:06
  the
• 25:06
  body.
• 25:07
  And
• 25:07
  then
• 25:07
  also
• 25:08
  a
• 25:08
  lot
• 25:08
  of
• 25:08
  another
• 25:09
  trick
• 25:09
  for
• 25:09
  people
• 25:09
  listening
• 25:10
  for
• 25:10
  the
• 25:10
  jaw.
• 25:10
  If
• 25:10
  you
• 25:11
  hold
• 25:11
  that
• 25:11
  tension
• 25:12
  in
• 25:12
  your
• 25:12
  jaw
• 25:12
  and
• 25:12
  your
• 25:13
  neck
• 25:13
  and
• 25:13
  that's
• 25:14
  your
• 25:14
  throat
• 25:14
  chakra,
• 25:15
  that's
• 25:15
  every,
• 25:16
  that's
• 25:16
  your
• 25:16
  voice,
• 25:16
  that's
• 25:17
  your
• 25:17
  stifled
• 25:17
  voice
• 25:18
  really
• 25:18
  is
• 25:19
  manifesting
• 25:19
  in
• 25:20
  that
• 25:20
  whole
• 25:20
  area.
• 25:21
  A
• 25:21
  lot
• 25:21
  of
• 25:21
  people,
• 25:21
  I
• 25:21
  tell
• 25:22
  you
• 25:22
  the
• 25:22
  guppy
• 25:22
  move,
• 25:23
  where
• 25:23
  you're
• 25:23
  just
• 25:23
  looking
• 25:23
  like
• 25:24
  a
• 25:24
  guppy,
• 25:24
  it
• 25:24
  looks
• 25:24
  stupid.
• 25:25
  But
• 25:25
  after
• 25:25
  a
• 25:25
  while
• 25:26
  doing
• 25:26
  that,
• 25:27
  and
• 25:27
  after
• 25:27
  someone
• 25:27
  told
• 25:28
  me
• 25:28
  to
• 25:28
  do
• 25:28
  that
• 25:28
  for
• 25:28
  a
• 25:28
  while,
• 25:28
  I
• 25:29
  remember
• 25:29
  all
• 25:29
  of
• 25:29
  a
• 25:29
  sudden
• 25:30
  I
• 25:30
  would
• 25:30
  start
• 25:30
  yawning,
• 25:31
  my
• 25:31
  eyes
• 25:31
  would
• 25:31
  start
• 25:32
  watering.
• 25:32
  And
• 25:32
  I'm
• 25:32
  like,
• 25:32
  wow,
• 25:33
  I
• 25:33
  didn't
• 25:33
  even
• 25:33
  know
• 25:34
  it
• 25:35
  was.
• 25:35
  It's
• 25:35
  amazing.
• 25:36
  I
• 25:36
  remember
• 25:37
  going
• 25:37
  to
• 25:37
  a
• 25:37
  doctor
• 25:38
  or
• 25:38
  when
• 25:38
  I
• 25:38
  went
• 25:38
  to
• 25:39
  a
• 25:39
  therapist
• 25:39
  at
• 25:39
  one
• 25:39
  point,
• 25:39
  and
• 25:40
  she's,
• 25:40
  where
• 25:40
  do
• 25:40
  you
• 25:40
  feel
• 25:41
  it?
• 25:41
  And
• 25:41
  I'm
• 25:41
  like,
• 25:41
  I
• 25:41
  feel
• 25:42
  it
• 25:42
  really
• 25:42
  in
• 25:42
  my
• 25:43
  sternum,
• 25:43
  always
• 25:44
  in
• 25:44
  my.
• 25:44
  The
• 25:44
  gut,
• 25:45
  my
• 25:45
  gut
• 25:45
  punch.
• 25:46
  And
• 25:46
  she's.
• 25:46
  So
• 25:46
  you
• 25:47
  think
• 25:47
  that
• 25:47
  might
• 25:47
  have
• 25:47
  something
• 25:47
  to
• 25:48
  do
• 25:48
  with
• 25:48
  you
• 25:48
  having
• 25:48
  bleeding
• 25:49
  ulcers
• 25:51
  at
• 25:51
  18?
• 25:51
  I'm
• 25:52
  like,
• 25:52
  yeah,
• 25:52
  maybe.
• 25:54
  Maybe
• 25:54
  the
• 25:54
  two
• 25:54
  might
• 25:55
  be
• 25:55
  connected.
• 25:55
  Yeah,
• 25:56
  might
• 25:56
  be
• 25:56
  a
• 25:56
  little
• 25:57
  body
• 25:57
  mind
• 25:57
  connection
• 25:58
  there,
• 25:58
  maybe.
• 25:59
  But
• 26:00
  it
• 26:00
  is
• 26:00
  funny,
• 26:01
  though,
• 26:01
  because
• 26:01
  it's.
• 26:02
  We
• 26:02
  speak
• 26:03
  a
• 26:03
  different
• 26:03
  language
• 26:03
  now.
• 26:04
  Thirty
• 26:05
  years
• 26:05
  ago,
• 26:05
  when
• 26:05
  I
• 26:05
  went
• 26:06
  to
• 26:06
  the
• 26:06
  doctor
• 26:06
  with
• 26:06
  bleeding
• 26:07
  ulcers,
• 26:07
  they
• 26:08
  never
• 26:08
  said,
• 26:08
  what
• 26:08
  was
• 26:08
  your
• 26:09
  child?
• 26:09
  Look,
• 26:10
  how
• 26:10
  was
• 26:10
  growing
• 26:11
  up?
• 26:11
  What
• 26:12
  kind
• 26:12
  of
• 26:12
  stresses
• 26:12
  did
• 26:12
  you
• 26:12
  have?
• 26:13
  That
• 26:13
  wasn't
• 26:13
  a
• 26:13
  thing.
• 26:14
  It
• 26:14
  just
• 26:14
  wasn't
• 26:15
  a
• 26:15
  thing.
• 26:15
  It
• 26:15
  was.
• 26:15
  Take
• 26:15
  15
• 26:16
  Tagamets
• 26:16
  for
• 26:17
  however
• 26:18
  long,
• 26:18
  15
• 26:19
  years,
• 26:19
  and
• 26:19
  let's
• 26:20
  see
• 26:20
  if
• 26:20
  we
• 26:20
  can
• 26:20
  move
• 26:20
  on
• 26:21
  past
• 26:21
  this.
• 26:22
  Treat
• 26:22
  the
• 26:22
  symptoms,
• 26:23
  not
• 26:23
  the
• 26:23
  root
• 26:23
  cause.
• 26:24
  Yeah.
• 26:25
  And
• 26:25
  I
• 26:25
  love
• 26:25
  that
• 26:25
  we're
• 26:26
  in
• 26:26
  that
• 26:26
  language
• 26:26
  now
• 26:27
  where
• 26:27
  a
• 26:27
  lot
• 26:27
  of
• 26:28
  the
• 26:28
  words
• 26:28
  are,
• 26:28
  like
• 26:29
  you
• 26:29
  said,
• 26:29
  this
• 26:29
  toxic
• 26:30
  positivity
• 26:31
  or
• 26:31
  just
• 26:31
  these
• 26:31
  cliche
• 26:32
  words
• 26:32
  that
• 26:32
  are
• 26:33
  running
• 26:33
  around.
• 26:33
  And
• 26:34
  I
• 26:34
  caution
• 26:34
  people
• 26:35
  not
• 26:35
  to
• 26:36
  believe
• 26:36
  everything
• 26:36
  they
• 26:36
  read,
• 26:37
  not
• 26:37
  to
• 26:38
  go
• 26:38
  down
• 26:38
  these
• 26:38
  rabbit
• 26:39
  holes
• 26:39
  every
• 26:40
  time
• 26:40
  they
• 26:40
  hear
• 26:40
  something,
• 26:41
  because
• 26:41
  that's
• 26:41
  just
• 26:42
  as
• 26:42
  damaging.
• 26:44
  But
• 26:46
  there's
• 26:46
  a
• 26:46
  lot
• 26:46
  of
• 26:46
  good
• 26:47
  information
• 26:47
  out
• 26:47
  there.
• 26:48
  There
• 26:48
  really
• 26:48
  is.
• 26:49
  And
• 26:49
  I
• 26:49
  think
• 26:50
  the
• 26:50
  especially.
• 26:51
  I
• 26:51
  keep
• 26:52
  going
• 26:52
  back
• 26:52
  to
• 26:52
  what
• 26:52
  you
• 26:53
  do,
• 26:53
  but
• 26:53
  working
• 26:53
  with
• 26:54
  the
• 26:54
  body
• 26:54
  is
• 26:55
  so
• 26:55
  vitally
• 26:56
  important.
• 26:56
  That's
• 26:57
  when
• 26:57
  I
• 26:57
  really
• 26:57
  started
• 26:57
  to
• 26:57
  have
• 26:58
  my
• 26:58
  breakthroughs,
• 26:59
  when
• 26:59
  I
• 26:59
  could
• 27:00
  stop.
• 27:00
  And
• 27:01
  I
• 27:01
  do
• 27:01
  it
• 27:01
  with
• 27:01
  my
• 27:01
  clients.
• 27:02
  Now
• 27:02
  it's
• 27:02
  just
• 27:02
  body
• 27:03
  before
• 27:03
  story
• 27:03
  exercise.
• 27:04
  Where
• 27:04
  do
• 27:05
  you
• 27:05
  feel
• 27:05
  it
• 27:05
  in
• 27:05
  your
• 27:05
  body?
• 27:05
  And
• 27:06
  then
• 27:06
  when
• 27:06
  your
• 27:06
  mind
• 27:06
  starts
• 27:07
  trying
• 27:07
  to
• 27:07
  explain
• 27:08
  it
• 27:08
  away,
• 27:08
  oh,
• 27:08
  no.
• 27:09
  What
• 27:09
  does
• 27:09
  it
• 27:09
  feel
• 27:09
  like?
• 27:10
  Does
• 27:10
  it
• 27:10
  have
• 27:10
  a
• 27:10
  shape?
• 27:11
  Does
• 27:11
  it
• 27:11
  have
• 27:11
  a
• 27:11
  size?
• 27:12
  Does
• 27:12
  it
• 27:12
  have
• 27:12
  a
• 27:12
  texture?
• 27:13
  What
• 27:13
  does
• 27:13
  that
• 27:13
  feel
• 27:13
  like?
• 27:14
  And
• 27:14
  then.
• 27:14
  Oh,
• 27:15
  this
• 27:15
  is
• 27:15
  why.
• 27:15
  Nope.
• 27:16
  How
• 27:17
  big
• 27:17
  is
• 27:17
  it?
• 27:17
  How
• 27:17
  little?
• 27:17
  It
• 27:18
  just
• 27:18
  keep
• 27:18
  going
• 27:19
  back
• 27:19
  to
• 27:19
  that
• 27:19
  and
• 27:19
  keep.
• 27:20
  Because
• 27:20
  your
• 27:21
  mind
• 27:21
  wants
• 27:21
  to
• 27:21
  take
• 27:22
  over
• 27:22
  and
• 27:22
  protect
• 27:23
  you
• 27:23
  again,
• 27:25
  always.
• 27:25
  And
• 27:26
  breath
• 27:26
  work
• 27:26
  also
• 27:27
  is
• 27:27
  an
• 27:27
  incredible
• 27:28
  kind
• 27:28
  of
• 27:29
  pathway
• 27:29
  in
• 27:30
  for
• 27:30
  people
• 27:30
  that
• 27:30
  feel
• 27:31
  safe
• 27:31
  with
• 27:31
  the
• 27:31
  breath.
• 27:32
  Sometimes
• 27:32
  breath
• 27:33
  work
• 27:33
  is
• 27:33
  a
• 27:33
  good
• 27:33
  entry
• 27:34
  point
• 27:34
  for
• 27:34
  people
• 27:34
  before
• 27:35
  the
• 27:35
  body.
• 27:36
  Right.
• 27:36
  So
• 27:36
  depending
• 27:36
  on
• 27:37
  what
• 27:37
  your
• 27:37
  body
• 27:37
  has
• 27:37
  experienced,
• 27:38
  the
• 27:39
  breath
• 27:39
  might
• 27:39
  be
• 27:39
  an
• 27:39
  easier
• 27:40
  entry
• 27:40
  point.
• 27:40
  For
• 27:41
  someone
• 27:41
  who's
• 27:41
  experienced
• 27:42
  any
• 27:42
  kind
• 27:42
  of
• 27:42
  violence
• 27:43
  around
• 27:43
  their
• 27:44
  breath,
• 27:44
  then
• 27:45
  that
• 27:45
  would
• 27:45
  obviously
• 27:45
  be
• 27:46
  a
• 27:46
  no
• 27:46
  go.
• 27:46
  But
• 27:47
  if
• 27:47
  you
• 27:47
  haven't
• 27:48
  experienced
• 27:48
  that
• 27:49
  breath
• 27:49
  work.
• 27:50
  I've
• 27:50
  had
• 27:50
  breath
• 27:51
  work
• 27:51
  processes
• 27:52
  where
• 27:52
  I've
• 27:52
  literally
• 27:53
  been
• 27:53
  sitting
• 27:53
  and
• 27:54
  Stuff
• 27:54
  and
• 27:54
  things
• 27:54
  will
• 27:55
  fly
• 27:55
  out
• 27:55
  of
• 27:56
  your
• 27:56
  mind,
• 27:56
  and
• 27:56
  you're
• 27:56
  like,
• 27:57
  whoa,
• 27:58
  what
• 27:58
  is
• 27:58
  that?
• 27:59
  Where
• 27:59
  did
• 27:59
  that
• 27:59
  come
• 27:59
  from?
• 28:00
  And
• 28:00
  it's.
• 28:00
  And.
• 28:01
  But
• 28:01
  it's.
• 28:01
  Oh,
• 28:01
  my
• 28:02
  gosh,
• 28:02
  I
• 28:02
  didn't
• 28:02
  realize.
• 28:03
  And
• 28:03
  it's
• 28:03
  like
• 28:03
  light
• 28:04
  bulbs
• 28:04
  go
• 28:04
  off
• 28:04
  and
• 28:04
  it
• 28:05
  makes
• 28:05
  sense.
• 28:05
  Something
• 28:06
  makes
• 28:06
  sense.
• 28:06
  But
• 28:06
  then
• 28:06
  also
• 28:07
  the
• 28:07
  way
• 28:07
  your
• 28:07
  body
• 28:08
  releases
• 28:09
  in
• 28:09
  a
• 28:09
  breath
• 28:09
  work
• 28:10
  is
• 28:10
  so
• 28:10
  fascinating
• 28:11
  to
• 28:11
  me.
• 28:12
  So
• 28:12
  sometimes
• 28:13
  you
• 28:13
  get.
• 28:13
  Have
• 28:13
  you
• 28:13
  seen
• 28:14
  the
• 28:14
  lobster
• 28:14
  hands
• 28:15
  or
• 28:15
  the
• 28:15
  claw
• 28:15
  hands
• 28:16
  that
• 28:16
  happen
• 28:16
  when
• 28:16
  people
• 28:16
  do
• 28:17
  breath
• 28:17
  work?
• 28:17
  Yeah,
• 28:18
  it's
• 28:18
  fascinating.
• 28:19
  Like
• 28:19
  where
• 28:20
  they
• 28:20
  literally
• 28:20
  can't
• 28:21
  move
• 28:21
  their
• 28:21
  hands
• 28:22
  for
• 28:22
  a
• 28:22
  moment
• 28:22
  because
• 28:23
  their
• 28:23
  hands
• 28:23
  get
• 28:23
  frozen
• 28:24
  like
• 28:25
  this.
• 28:25
  It's
• 28:25
  happened
• 28:25
  to
• 28:26
  me
• 28:26
  before
• 28:26
  where
• 28:27
  your
• 28:27
  hands
• 28:27
  get
• 28:28
  frozen
• 28:28
  in
• 28:28
  this
• 28:28
  lobster
• 28:29
  claw
• 28:30
  because
• 28:30
  the
• 28:30
  of
• 28:31
  CO2
• 28:32
  oxygen
• 28:32
  ratio
• 28:33
  that's
• 28:33
  happening
• 28:33
  in
• 28:33
  the
• 28:33
  body,
• 28:34
  it
• 28:34
  freezes
• 28:34
  your
• 28:35
  hands
• 28:35
  for
• 28:35
  a
• 28:35
  moment.
• 28:36
  But
• 28:36
  then
• 28:36
  what
• 28:36
  happens
• 28:37
  is
• 28:37
  then
• 28:37
  your
• 28:38
  body
• 28:38
  relaxes
• 28:38
  and
• 28:39
  it
• 28:39
  releases,
• 28:39
  and
• 28:39
  there's
• 28:40
  massive
• 28:41
  tension
• 28:41
  releases
• 28:42
  that
• 28:42
  are
• 28:42
  coming
• 28:43
  out
• 28:43
  of
• 28:43
  you
• 28:44
  from
• 28:44
  stored
• 28:45
  pain
• 28:45
  and
• 28:46
  stored
• 28:46
  emotion
• 28:47
  that's
• 28:47
  been
• 28:47
  held
• 28:48
  in
• 28:48
  the
• 28:48
  body
• 28:48
  that
• 28:48
  your
• 28:49
  body
• 28:49
  is
• 28:49
  now
• 28:49
  finally
• 28:51
  able
• 28:51
  to
• 28:51
  let
• 28:52
  go
• 28:52
  of.
• 28:52
  And
• 28:52
  it's
• 28:53
  a
• 28:53
  really
• 28:53
  beautiful
• 28:55
  release
• 28:55
  that
• 28:55
  happens.
• 28:56
  And
• 28:57
  like
• 28:57
  I
• 28:57
  said,
• 28:57
  I've
• 28:58
  had
• 28:58
  facilitations,
• 28:59
  like
• 28:59
  where
• 29:00
  that's
• 29:00
  happened
• 29:00
  where
• 29:00
  I've
• 29:00
  had
• 29:01
  the
• 29:01
  lobster
• 29:01
  claws,
• 29:01
  but
• 29:02
  also
• 29:02
  just
• 29:02
  times
• 29:02
  where
• 29:03
  you
• 29:03
  lay.
• 29:04
  I
• 29:04
  lay
• 29:04
  down,
• 29:05
  and
• 29:05
  my
• 29:05
  muscles
• 29:05
  will
• 29:06
  spasm.
• 29:06
  And
• 29:07
  not
• 29:07
  in
• 29:07
  like
• 29:08
  a.
• 29:08
  I
• 29:08
  don't
• 29:08
  know,
• 29:08
  like
• 29:08
  an
• 29:09
  overuse
• 29:09
  kind
• 29:09
  of
• 29:09
  way,
• 29:10
  but
• 29:10
  more
• 29:10
  like
• 29:11
  they
• 29:11
  just
• 29:11
  tense
• 29:12
  and
• 29:12
  release.
• 29:12
  And
• 29:13
  sometimes
• 29:13
  it'll
• 29:13
  go
• 29:13
  on
• 29:13
  for
• 29:14
  an
• 29:14
  hour.
• 29:14
  And
• 29:14
  you're
• 29:15
  like,
• 29:15
  what
• 29:15
  is
• 29:16
  happening
• 29:16
  here?
• 29:16
  And
• 29:17
  it's
• 29:17
  something
• 29:18
  that
• 29:18
  was
• 29:18
  stored
• 29:19
  in
• 29:19
  the
• 29:19
  body
• 29:20
  is
• 29:20
  letting
• 29:20
  itself
• 29:21
  go
• 29:21
  because
• 29:21
  you've
• 29:22
  created
• 29:23
  an
• 29:23
  environment
• 29:24
  where
• 29:24
  it
• 29:25
  feels
• 29:25
  safe
• 29:25
  enough
• 29:25
  to
• 29:26
  be
• 29:26
  released.
• 29:26
  And
• 29:27
  I
• 29:27
  just.
• 29:27
  And
• 29:27
  then
• 29:27
  there's
• 29:28
  this
• 29:28
  moment,
• 29:28
  at
• 29:29
  least
• 29:29
  for
• 29:29
  me,
• 29:29
  of
• 29:30
  just
• 29:31
  pride
• 29:31
  in
• 29:31
  the
• 29:32
  fact
• 29:32
  that
• 29:32
  it's
• 29:32
  like,
• 29:33
  yeah,
• 29:33
  yeah,
• 29:34
  body.
• 29:34
  We
• 29:35
  did
• 29:35
  this.
• 29:35
  Thank
• 29:36
  you.
• 29:36
  Thank
• 29:36
  you.
• 29:36
  And
• 29:37
  always.
• 29:37
  Thank
• 29:37
  you.
• 29:38
  And
• 29:38
  give
• 29:38
  it
• 29:38
  grace.
• 29:39
  Absolutely.
• 29:41
  People
• 29:41
  spend
• 29:41
  so
• 29:42
  much
• 29:42
  time
• 29:42
  complaining
• 29:43
  about
• 29:43
  what
• 29:43
  their
• 29:43
  body
• 29:43
  is
• 29:44
  doing.
• 29:44
  And
• 29:44
  your
• 29:45
  body
• 29:45
  is
• 29:45
  always
• 29:46
  and
• 29:46
  always
• 29:46
  will
• 29:46
  be
• 29:47
  and
• 29:47
  always
• 29:47
  has
• 29:47
  been
• 29:47
  there
• 29:48
  to
• 29:48
  protect
• 29:48
  you.
• 29:48
  But
• 29:49
  it's.
• 29:49
  Everything
• 29:50
  it
• 29:50
  does
• 29:51
  is
• 29:51
  a
• 29:51
  message.
• 29:52
  It's
• 29:52
  telling
• 29:52
  you
• 29:53
  something.
• 29:53
  So
• 29:54
  it's
• 29:54
  telling
• 29:54
  you
• 29:54
  to
• 29:55
  slow
• 29:55
  down
• 29:55
  or
• 29:55
  speed
• 29:56
  up
• 29:56
  or
• 29:56
  move
• 29:56
  or
• 29:57
  release.
• 29:57
  But
• 29:58
  I
• 29:58
  talk
• 29:58
  about
• 29:58
  the.
• 29:59
  The
• 29:59
  imaginary
• 30:00
  backpack
• 30:00
  a
• 30:01
  lot.
• 30:01
  And
• 30:01
  every
• 30:02
  single.
• 30:02
  Every
• 30:02
  single
• 30:03
  thing
• 30:03
  that's
• 30:03
  suppressed
• 30:04
  and
• 30:04
  not
• 30:05
  dealt.
• 30:05
  Anything
• 30:06
  not
• 30:06
  dealt
• 30:06
  with,
• 30:06
  let's
• 30:06
  just
• 30:07
  put
• 30:07
  that
• 30:07
  anything
• 30:08
  not
• 30:08
  properly
• 30:09
  processed
• 30:09
  and
• 30:09
  released
• 30:10
  is
• 30:10
  in
• 30:10
  the
• 30:11
  backpack.
• 30:11
  And
• 30:11
  I
• 30:12
  kind
• 30:12
  of
• 30:12
  do
• 30:12
  that.
• 30:12
  I
• 30:12
  kind
• 30:13
  of
• 30:13
  have
• 30:13
  this
• 30:13
  visual
• 30:13
  in
• 30:14
  my
• 30:14
  mind
• 30:14
  when
• 30:14
  I
• 30:15
  have
• 30:15
  one
• 30:15
  of
• 30:15
  those
• 30:15
  releases.
• 30:16
  And
• 30:16
  it.
• 30:16
  And
• 30:16
  it's
• 30:17
  Ah,
• 30:17
  the
• 30:17
  backpack,
• 30:17
  it's
• 30:18
  lighter.
• 30:19
  And
• 30:19
  it
• 30:19
  doesn't
• 30:19
  matter
• 30:19
  what
• 30:19
  you
• 30:20
  have
• 30:20
  to
• 30:20
  think.
• 30:20
  I
• 30:21
  like
• 30:21
  metaphors.
• 30:21
  I
• 30:22
  like
• 30:22
  visualization.
• 30:23
  I
• 30:23
  just
• 30:23
  like
• 30:24
  that
• 30:24
  of
• 30:24
  going,
• 30:24
  oh,
• 30:24
  my
• 30:25
  backpack.
• 30:25
  It's
• 30:25
  lighter.
• 30:27
  And
• 30:27
  in
• 30:27
  a
• 30:27
  lot
• 30:27
  of
• 30:27
  ways,
• 30:28
  your
• 30:28
  body
• 30:28
  afterwards,
• 30:29
  because
• 30:29
  you
• 30:29
  get
• 30:29
  that
• 30:30
  release
• 30:30
  of
• 30:30
  endorphins
• 30:31
  that
• 30:31
  come
• 30:31
  after
• 30:32
  those.
• 30:32
  Those
• 30:33
  trauma
• 30:33
  releases
• 30:34
  or
• 30:35
  just
• 30:35
  emotional
• 30:35
  releases
• 30:36
  of
• 30:36
  some
• 30:36
  kind,
• 30:37
  you
• 30:38
  feel
• 30:39
  physically,
• 30:40
  mentally
• 30:41
  lighter.
• 30:41
  It's
• 30:42
  almost
• 30:42
  like
• 30:42
  you're
• 30:42
  just
• 30:43
  like,
• 30:43
  oh,
• 30:44
  you
• 30:45
  know,
• 30:45
  that
• 30:46
  was
• 30:46
  something
• 30:46
  real.
• 30:47
  You
• 30:47
  know,
• 30:47
  that
• 30:47
  something
• 30:48
  just
• 30:48
  left
• 30:49
  you
• 30:50
  and
• 30:50
  you
• 30:50
  don't.
• 30:51
  The
• 30:51
  language
• 30:51
  of
• 30:51
  the
• 30:52
  body,
• 30:52
  we
• 30:52
  don't
• 30:52
  get
• 30:52
  to
• 30:52
  know
• 30:52
  what
• 30:53
  it
• 30:53
  was.
• 30:54
  Right.
• 30:54
  But
• 30:54
  we
• 30:55
  know
• 30:55
  whatever
• 30:55
  that
• 30:56
  was.
• 30:56
  Like,
• 30:58
  I'm
• 30:58
  lighter
• 30:58
  now.
• 30:59
  And
• 30:59
  that
• 30:59
  is
• 30:59
  so
• 31:00
  beautiful.
• 31:01
  It
• 31:01
  is.
• 31:01
  And
• 31:02
  it
• 31:02
  brings
• 31:02
  up
• 31:02
  a
• 31:02
  very
• 31:02
  good
• 31:03
  point
• 31:03
  about
• 31:03
  the
• 31:04
  fact
• 31:04
  that
• 31:04
  you
• 31:04
  don't
• 31:04
  need
• 31:04
  to
• 31:04
  know
• 31:05
  what
• 31:05
  it
• 31:05
  was.
• 31:05
  So
• 31:06
  when
• 31:06
  you
• 31:06
  do
• 31:06
  the
• 31:06
  somatic
• 31:07
  work
• 31:07
  like
• 31:08
  that
• 31:08
  and
• 31:08
  you
• 31:08
  have
• 31:08
  these
• 31:08
  releases,
• 31:09
  you
• 31:09
  don't
• 31:10
  have
• 31:10
  to
• 31:10
  go
• 31:10
  back
• 31:10
  and
• 31:10
  relive
• 31:11
  that
• 31:11
  trauma
• 31:13
  that
• 31:13
  just
• 31:13
  released.
• 31:14
  You
• 31:14
  don't
• 31:15
  have
• 31:15
  to.
• 31:15
  Your
• 31:15
  body
• 31:16
  is
• 31:16
  letting
• 31:16
  it
• 31:16
  go
• 31:16
  for
• 31:17
  you,
• 31:17
  like
• 31:17
  you
• 31:17
  said,
• 31:17
  because
• 31:18
  you've
• 31:18
  opened
• 31:18
  up
• 31:18
  this
• 31:19
  space.
• 31:19
  I
• 31:19
  always
• 31:19
  say
• 31:20
  you
• 31:20
  start
• 31:20
  with
• 31:20
  this
• 31:20
  little
• 31:20
  safety
• 31:21
  bubble
• 31:21
  about
• 31:21
  this
• 31:22
  big,
• 31:22
  and
• 31:22
  as
• 31:22
  you
• 31:22
  do
• 31:23
  more
• 31:23
  things
• 31:23
  and
• 31:23
  increase
• 31:24
  that
• 31:24
  capacity
• 31:25
  for
• 31:25
  safety,
• 31:26
  that's
• 31:26
  where
• 31:26
  it's
• 31:26
  going
• 31:27
  to
• 31:27
  start
• 31:27
  branching
• 31:27
  out
• 31:27
  and
• 31:28
  you
• 31:28
  will
• 31:28
  start
• 31:28
  to
• 31:28
  have
• 31:28
  those
• 31:29
  releases.
• 31:29
  But
• 31:30
  the
• 31:31
  theory,
• 31:31
  if
• 31:31
  you're
• 31:31
  out
• 31:31
  there
• 31:32
  listening
• 31:32
  and
• 31:32
  you're
• 31:32
  not
• 31:33
  going
• 31:33
  for
• 31:33
  help,
• 31:33
  because
• 31:34
  I
• 31:34
  don't
• 31:34
  know
• 31:34
  how
• 31:34
  many
• 31:34
  times
• 31:34
  I
• 31:35
  hear
• 31:35
  people
• 31:35
  say,
• 31:35
  I
• 31:36
  can't
• 31:36
  go
• 31:36
  through
• 31:36
  that
• 31:37
  again,
• 31:37
  or
• 31:37
  I
• 31:38
  can't
• 31:38
  have
• 31:39
  that
• 31:39
  brought
• 31:39
  up.
• 31:40
  You
• 31:41
  don't
• 31:41
  have
• 31:41
  to.
• 31:42
  I
• 31:42
  feel
• 31:42
  like
• 31:42
  the
• 31:42
  old
• 31:43
  way
• 31:43
  of
• 31:43
  hypnotizing
• 31:44
  used
• 31:44
  to
• 31:44
  be
• 31:45
  barbaric
• 31:45
  almost,
• 31:46
  but
• 31:46
  in
• 31:46
  a
• 31:46
  way
• 31:47
  I
• 31:47
  don't
• 31:47
  feel.
• 31:47
  Let's
• 31:48
  go
• 31:48
  back
• 31:48
  and
• 31:48
  relive
• 31:49
  that
• 31:49
  18
• 31:50
  times
• 31:50
  until
• 31:51
  you
• 31:51
  get.
• 31:51
  Process
• 31:52
  it.
• 31:52
  No,
• 31:53
  you
• 31:53
  can
• 31:53
  have
• 31:54
  those
• 31:54
  releases
• 31:55
  without
• 31:56
  putting
• 31:57
  yourself
• 31:57
  back
• 31:57
  in
• 31:57
  that
• 31:58
  moment.
• 31:58
  That's
• 31:59
  what's
• 31:59
  so
• 31:59
  beautiful
• 32:00
  about
• 32:00
  it.
• 32:01
  Yeah,
• 32:01
  I
• 32:01
  think
• 32:02
  so.
• 32:02
  For
• 32:02
  talk
• 32:02
  therapy,
• 32:03
  you
• 32:03
  kind
• 32:03
  of
• 32:03
  circle
• 32:04
  around.
• 32:04
  Talk
• 32:04
  therapy
• 32:05
  is
• 32:05
  really
• 32:05
  beautiful.
• 32:06
  If
• 32:06
  you
• 32:06
  need
• 32:06
  to
• 32:06
  understand.
• 32:08
  If
• 32:08
  you
• 32:08
  want
• 32:08
  to
• 32:08
  understand
• 32:09
  something,
• 32:10
  right.
• 32:10
  If
• 32:10
  you're
• 32:11
  still
• 32:11
  going,
• 32:11
  I
• 32:11
  don't
• 32:11
  understand
• 32:12
  why
• 32:12
  this
• 32:12
  happened.
• 32:12
  I
• 32:13
  don't
• 32:13
  understand
• 32:13
  it.
• 32:14
  It
• 32:14
  doesn't
• 32:14
  make
• 32:14
  sense.
• 32:15
  And
• 32:15
  you're
• 32:15
  trying
• 32:15
  to
• 32:16
  make
• 32:16
  sense
• 32:17
  of
• 32:17
  the
• 32:17
  senseless.
• 32:18
  Right.
• 32:19
  Talk
• 32:19
  therapy
• 32:20
  is
• 32:20
  really
• 32:20
  helpful
• 32:20
  for
• 32:21
  that
• 32:21
  because
• 32:22
  what
• 32:22
  that's
• 32:22
  saying
• 32:23
  is
• 32:23
  your
• 32:23
  mind
• 32:24
  is
• 32:24
  trying
• 32:25
  to
• 32:25
  understand
• 32:26
  it.
• 32:26
  So
• 32:27
  you
• 32:27
  need
• 32:27
  to
• 32:28
  verbally
• 32:28
  process
• 32:28
  it.
• 32:29
  You
• 32:29
  need
• 32:29
  to
• 32:29
  have
• 32:29
  someone
• 32:30
  reframe
• 32:30
  it.
• 32:31
  You
• 32:31
  need
• 32:31
  to
• 32:32
  be
• 32:32
  able
• 32:32
  to
• 32:32
  have
• 32:32
  context
• 32:33
  and
• 32:33
  all
• 32:33
  of
• 32:33
  these
• 32:34
  things
• 32:34
  applied
• 32:35
  to
• 32:35
  a
• 32:35
  situation.
• 32:36
  To
• 32:36
  help
• 32:37
  you
• 32:37
  have
• 32:37
  a
• 32:38
  better
• 32:38
  understanding
• 32:38
  where
• 32:39
  you
• 32:39
  can
• 32:39
  make
• 32:39
  peace.
• 32:40
  If
• 32:40
  you're
• 32:40
  saying,
• 32:41
  I
• 32:41
  don't,
• 32:41
  I
• 32:41
  don't
• 32:41
  need
• 32:42
  that,
• 32:42
  I
• 32:42
  don't
• 32:42
  want
• 32:43
  to
• 32:43
  go
• 32:43
  back
• 32:43
  and
• 32:43
  revisit
• 32:44
  it.
• 32:44
  It's
• 32:44
  too
• 32:44
  painful
• 32:45
  for
• 32:45
  me
• 32:45
  to
• 32:45
  revisit
• 32:45
  or
• 32:46
  it,
• 32:46
  but
• 32:47
  it
• 32:47
  hurts
• 32:47
  in
• 32:47
  a
• 32:47
  way
• 32:48
  that
• 32:48
  I
• 32:48
  don't
• 32:48
  want
• 32:48
  or
• 32:48
  I've
• 32:49
  tried
• 32:49
  to
• 32:50
  understand
• 32:50
  it.
• 32:50
  And
• 32:50
  there's
• 32:51
  no
• 32:51
  understanding
• 32:52
  the
• 32:53
  senseless.
• 32:53
  Right?
• 32:53
  You
• 32:54
  can't
• 32:54
  make
• 32:54
  sense
• 32:55
  of
• 32:55
  the
• 32:55
  senseless.
• 32:56
  The
• 32:56
  language
• 32:57
  you're
• 32:57
  using
• 32:57
  is
• 32:58
  saying
• 32:58
  it's
• 32:59
  not
• 32:59
  that
• 32:59
  your
• 32:59
  mind
• 33:00
  needs
• 33:00
  to
• 33:00
  release
• 33:01
  it,
• 33:01
  it's
• 33:01
  that
• 33:01
  your
• 33:02
  body
• 33:02
  does.
• 33:02
  And
• 33:03
  so
• 33:03
  I
• 33:03
  think
• 33:03
  that
• 33:03
  when
• 33:04
  we
• 33:04
  are
• 33:04
  describing
• 33:05
  what
• 33:06
  do
• 33:06
  you
• 33:06
  need
• 33:06
  for
• 33:06
  this
• 33:06
  to
• 33:07
  be
• 33:07
  able
• 33:07
  to
• 33:07
  address
• 33:07
  this?
• 33:08
  Is
• 33:08
  it
• 33:08
  that
• 33:08
  you
• 33:09
  need
• 33:09
  to
• 33:09
  understand
• 33:10
  what
• 33:10
  happened
• 33:10
  to
• 33:11
  you
• 33:11
  or
• 33:11
  you
• 33:11
  need
• 33:11
  to
• 33:11
  have
• 33:11
  a
• 33:12
  different
• 33:12
  way
• 33:12
  of
• 33:13
  looking
• 33:13
  at
• 33:13
  what
• 33:13
  happened
• 33:13
  to
• 33:14
  you,
• 33:14
  or
• 33:15
  do
• 33:15
  you
• 33:16
  need
• 33:16
  to
• 33:16
  just
• 33:17
  be
• 33:17
  able
• 33:17
  to
• 33:17
  get
• 33:17
  it
• 33:18
  out
• 33:18
  of
• 33:18
  you
• 33:18
  right
• 33:19
  then
• 33:19
  those
• 33:20
  are
• 33:20
  two
• 33:20
  different
• 33:20
  things.
• 33:20
  And
• 33:21
  that's
• 33:21
  giving
• 33:21
  you
• 33:22
  a
• 33:22
  clue
• 33:22
  as
• 33:23
  to
• 33:23
  which
• 33:23
  path
• 33:24
  you
• 33:24
  might
• 33:24
  want
• 33:24
  to
• 33:24
  pursue.
• 33:25
  Whether
• 33:25
  that's
• 33:25
  talk
• 33:26
  therapy,
• 33:26
  whether
• 33:26
  that's
• 33:27
  somatic
• 33:27
  therapy,
• 33:28
  because
• 33:29
  both
• 33:29
  are
• 33:30
  helpful
• 33:31
  and
• 33:31
  both
• 33:31
  can
• 33:32
  get
• 33:32
  you
• 33:32
  to
• 33:32
  the
• 33:32
  same
• 33:33
  place.
• 33:33
  You
• 33:34
  can
• 33:34
  have
• 33:35
  body
• 33:35
  releases
• 33:36
  in
• 33:36
  talk
• 33:37
  therapy
• 33:37
  because
• 33:38
  what
• 33:38
  your
• 33:38
  body
• 33:38
  was
• 33:39
  waiting
• 33:39
  on
• 33:39
  was
• 33:40
  your
• 33:40
  mind
• 33:40
  to
• 33:40
  understand.
• 33:41
  Or
• 33:42
  alternatively,
• 33:43
  you
• 33:43
  can
• 33:44
  have
• 33:44
  the
• 33:44
  same
• 33:44
  releases
• 33:45
  where
• 33:45
  you
• 33:45
  never
• 33:46
  know
• 33:46
  what
• 33:46
  you're
• 33:47
  actually
• 33:47
  letting
• 33:47
  go
• 33:48
  of
• 33:48
  in
• 33:48
  somatic
• 33:49
  therapy,
• 33:49
  because
• 33:49
  it's
• 33:50
  your
• 33:50
  body
• 33:50
  that
• 33:50
  was
• 33:51
  the
• 33:51
  hold
• 33:51
  up.
• 33:51
  Your
• 33:52
  body
• 33:52
  was
• 33:52
  the
• 33:52
  one
• 33:53
  that
• 33:53
  was
• 33:53
  needing
• 33:53
  to
• 33:53
  let
• 33:54
  go
• 33:54
  of
• 33:54
  something,
• 33:55
  not
• 33:55
  your
• 33:55
  mind.
• 33:56
  And
• 33:56
  I've
• 33:56
  used,
• 33:57
  and
• 33:57
  I
• 33:57
  say
• 33:57
  that
• 33:57
  all
• 33:58
  the
• 33:58
  time,
• 33:58
  most
• 33:58
  people,
• 33:58
  I
• 33:59
  feel
• 33:59
  like
• 34:00
  in
• 34:00
  my
• 34:00
  experience,
• 34:01
  at
• 34:01
  least
• 34:01
  in
• 34:01
  my
• 34:02
  generation,
• 34:02
  I
• 34:02
  think
• 34:02
  I'm
• 34:03
  a
• 34:03
  lot
• 34:03
  older
• 34:03
  than
• 34:04
  you.
• 34:04
  But
• 34:04
  talk
• 34:05
  therapy
• 34:05
  is
• 34:05
  where
• 34:06
  you
• 34:06
  started.
• 34:06
  That
• 34:06
  was
• 34:07
  really
• 34:07
  the
• 34:07
  modality
• 34:08
  that
• 34:08
  was
• 34:08
  offered
• 34:09
  and
• 34:10
  no
• 34:11
  judgment
• 34:11
  on
• 34:11
  it
• 34:11
  because
• 34:12
  it's,
• 34:12
  it
• 34:13
  is
• 34:13
  a
• 34:13
  great
• 34:13
  combination.
• 34:14
  It's
• 34:15
  a
• 34:16
  comprehensive
• 34:17
  healing
• 34:18
  system.
• 34:19
  There's
• 34:19
  no
• 34:19
  one
• 34:20
  way,
• 34:20
  there
• 34:20
  just
• 34:20
  isn't.
• 34:21
  And
• 34:21
  it's
• 34:21
  unique
• 34:22
  to
• 34:22
  every
• 34:22
  individual.
• 34:22
  It's
• 34:23
  unique
• 34:23
  to
• 34:23
  every
• 34:23
  single
• 34:24
  person.
• 34:25
  But
• 34:25
  absolutely.
• 34:27
  But
• 34:27
  I
• 34:28
  also
• 34:28
  encourage
• 34:29
  people
• 34:29
  to
• 34:29
  go
• 34:29
  out
• 34:30
  and
• 34:30
  try
• 34:30
  whatever,
• 34:31
  go
• 34:31
  out
• 34:31
  and
• 34:32
  hit
• 34:32
  all
• 34:32
  the
• 34:33
  things
• 34:33
  I
• 34:33
  used
• 34:33
  to
• 34:33
  say.
• 34:34
  I
• 34:34
  was
• 34:34
  like
• 34:34
  this
• 34:35
  damaged
• 34:36
  person
• 34:36
  throwing
• 34:36
  spaghetti
• 34:37
  at
• 34:37
  a
• 34:37
  wall.
• 34:38
  It's
• 34:39
  like,
• 34:39
  whoops,
• 34:39
  that
• 34:40
  one
• 34:40
  didn't
• 34:40
  stick.
• 34:40
  Oop,
• 34:41
  that
• 34:41
  one
• 34:41
  kind
• 34:41
  of
• 34:41
  stuck
• 34:42
  for
• 34:42
  a
• 34:42
  minute.
• 34:42
  Oh,
• 34:43
  that
• 34:43
  one's
• 34:43
  falling
• 34:43
  down.
• 34:43
  Nope,
• 34:44
  didn't
• 34:44
  stick.
• 34:44
  And
• 34:44
  then
• 34:44
  all
• 34:45
  of
• 34:45
  a
• 34:45
  sudden
• 34:45
  like,
• 34:45
  oh,
• 34:45
  that
• 34:45
  one
• 34:46
  stuck.
• 34:46
  Let's
• 34:46
  try
• 34:46
  that
• 34:47
  some
• 34:47
  more.
• 34:47
  But
• 34:48
  you
• 34:48
  have
• 34:48
  to
• 34:49
  see
• 34:49
  what
• 34:49
  works
• 34:49
  for
• 34:49
  you.
• 34:49
  There
• 34:50
  is
• 34:50
  no
• 34:50
  A
• 34:50
  to
• 34:50
  Z
• 34:51
  path
• 34:51
  in
• 34:51
  healing.
• 34:52
  Absolutely.
• 34:53
  And
• 34:53
  I,
• 34:53
  oh
• 34:54
  my
• 34:54
  Gosh,
• 34:54
  I
• 34:54
  agree.
• 34:54
  And
• 34:55
  I
• 34:55
  also
• 34:55
  think
• 34:55
  when
• 34:55
  we,
• 34:56
  when
• 34:56
  you
• 34:56
  try
• 34:57
  something
• 34:57
  and
• 34:57
  it
• 34:57
  doesn't
• 34:58
  stick,
• 34:59
  it
• 34:59
  doesn't
• 34:59
  mean
• 34:59
  that
• 34:59
  it
• 34:59
  won't
• 35:00
  stick
• 35:00
  forever.
• 35:00
  And
• 35:01
  so
• 35:01
  it
• 35:01
  may
• 35:01
  just
• 35:01
  be
• 35:01
  that
• 35:02
  that
• 35:02
  moment
• 35:02
  in
• 35:02
  time
• 35:03
  where
• 35:03
  you
• 35:03
  were,
• 35:03
  where
• 35:04
  your
• 35:04
  circumstances
• 35:05
  is,
• 35:05
  whatever,
• 35:06
  it
• 35:06
  didn't
• 35:06
  stick.
• 35:06
  And
• 35:07
  so
• 35:07
  maybe
• 35:08
  it's
• 35:08
  that
• 35:08
  I
• 35:08
  tried
• 35:09
  that,
• 35:09
  and
• 35:09
  then
• 35:09
  it's.
• 35:10
  Maybe
• 35:10
  it
• 35:10
  was
• 35:11
  the
• 35:11
  practitioner,
• 35:11
  maybe
• 35:12
  it
• 35:12
  was
• 35:12
  the.
• 35:12
  Where
• 35:13
  you
• 35:13
  were
• 35:13
  at
• 35:13
  the
• 35:13
  time
• 35:14
  or
• 35:14
  whatever
• 35:14
  the
• 35:15
  case
• 35:15
  might
• 35:15
  be,
• 35:15
  but
• 35:16
  just
• 35:16
  because,
• 35:16
  like,
• 35:16
  using
• 35:17
  somatic
• 35:17
  therapy,
• 35:18
  right?
• 35:18
  Oh,
• 35:18
  I
• 35:18
  tried
• 35:19
  it.
• 35:19
  I
• 35:19
  didn't
• 35:19
  really
• 35:19
  feel
• 35:19
  anything.
• 35:20
  I
• 35:20
  don't
• 35:20
  know
• 35:20
  what
• 35:20
  everybody's
• 35:21
  talking
• 35:21
  about.
• 35:22
  Maybe
• 35:22
  it
• 35:23
  wasn't
• 35:23
  the
• 35:23
  right
• 35:23
  time
• 35:23
  then
• 35:24
  for
• 35:24
  you,
• 35:24
  but
• 35:24
  maybe
• 35:25
  try
• 35:25
  it
• 35:25
  again
• 35:26
  when
• 35:26
  you're
• 35:26
  ready
• 35:26
  kind
• 35:27
  of
• 35:27
  thing.
• 35:27
  Because
• 35:28
  sometimes
• 35:29
  it's
• 35:29
  fresh
• 35:30
  eyes,
• 35:30
  fresh
• 35:30
  hands,
• 35:31
  or
• 35:31
  different
• 35:31
  people
• 35:31
  or
• 35:32
  different
• 35:32
  experience
• 35:33
  kind
• 35:33
  of
• 35:33
  things
• 35:34
  where
• 35:34
  we're
• 35:34
  more
• 35:34
  ready.
• 35:35
  Right?
• 35:36
  And.
• 35:36
  And
• 35:36
  I
• 35:36
  say
• 35:36
  that
• 35:37
  about
• 35:37
  talk
• 35:37
  therapy,
• 35:37
  too,
• 35:38
  because
• 35:38
  I
• 35:38
  started
• 35:39
  this
• 35:39
  whole
• 35:40
  journey
• 35:40
  through
• 35:41
  talk
• 35:41
  therapy,
• 35:42
  and
• 35:42
  I'll
• 35:43
  always
• 35:43
  be
• 35:43
  an
• 35:43
  advocate
• 35:44
  for
• 35:44
  talk
• 35:44
  therapy
• 35:44
  because
• 35:45
  I
• 35:45
  don't
• 35:45
  think
• 35:45
  that
• 35:45
  I
• 35:45
  would
• 35:46
  have
• 35:46
  felt
• 35:46
  brave
• 35:46
  enough
• 35:47
  to
• 35:47
  try
• 35:47
  any
• 35:47
  other
• 35:48
  kind
• 35:48
  of
• 35:48
  modality
• 35:49
  without
• 35:49
  having
• 35:50
  gone
• 35:50
  and
• 35:51
  had
• 35:51
  a
• 35:51
  relationship
• 35:52
  with
• 35:52
  my
• 35:52
  therapist
• 35:53
  where
• 35:53
  my
• 35:53
  therapist
• 35:54
  was
• 35:54
  encouraging
• 35:54
  me
• 35:55
  to
• 35:55
  go
• 35:56
  and
• 35:56
  try
• 35:56
  all
• 35:57
  these
• 35:57
  different
• 35:57
  things
• 35:57
  because
• 35:58
  exactly,
• 35:58
  like
• 35:58
  you
• 35:58
  said,
• 35:59
  try
• 35:59
  them.
• 35:59
  Because
• 35:59
  what's
• 35:59
  the
• 36:00
  worst
• 36:00
  that's
• 36:00
  going
• 36:00
  to
• 36:00
  happen?
• 36:01
  Because
• 36:01
  I
• 36:01
  was
• 36:01
  terrified.
• 36:02
  Like,
• 36:02
  I'll
• 36:03
  use
• 36:03
  EMDR
• 36:03
  as
• 36:04
  an
• 36:04
  example.
• 36:04
  I
• 36:05
  was
• 36:05
  absolutely
• 36:05
  terrified
• 36:06
  to
• 36:06
  do
• 36:06
  EMDR
• 36:07
  because
• 36:07
  I
• 36:08
  was
• 36:08
  like,
• 36:08
  oh,
• 36:08
  my
• 36:08
  gosh,
• 36:08
  it's
• 36:09
  going
• 36:09
  to
• 36:09
  pull
• 36:09
  out
• 36:09
  all
• 36:09
  these
• 36:10
  memories
• 36:10
  that
• 36:10
  I
• 36:11
  have,
• 36:11
  all
• 36:11
  these
• 36:11
  gaps
• 36:11
  in
• 36:12
  my
• 36:12
  mind.
• 36:12
  And
• 36:12
  so
• 36:12
  it's
• 36:13
  going
• 36:13
  to
• 36:13
  pull
• 36:13
  out
• 36:13
  all
• 36:13
  these
• 36:13
  things.
• 36:13
  And
• 36:13
  what
• 36:14
  if
• 36:14
  it
• 36:14
  pulls
• 36:14
  out
• 36:14
  things
• 36:14
  that
• 36:15
  are
• 36:15
  worse
• 36:15
  than.
• 36:16
  And
• 36:16
  then
• 36:16
  I
• 36:16
  just
• 36:16
  have
• 36:17
  to
• 36:17
  go
• 36:17
  down
• 36:17
  that
• 36:17
  road.
• 36:18
  And
• 36:18
  that's
• 36:19
  not.
• 36:19
  That
• 36:19
  wasn't
• 36:19
  my
• 36:19
  experience
• 36:20
  with
• 36:20
  emdr.
• 36:21
  My,
• 36:21
  My
• 36:22
  experience
• 36:22
  with
• 36:22
  EMDR
• 36:23
  was
• 36:23
  that
• 36:23
  it
• 36:23
  accelerated
• 36:24
  my
• 36:24
  healing
• 36:25
  rapidly
• 36:26
  because
• 36:27
  I
• 36:27
  was
• 36:27
  finally,
• 36:28
  when
• 36:28
  I
• 36:28
  finally
• 36:28
  agreed
• 36:29
  to
• 36:29
  do
• 36:30
  emdr,
• 36:30
  I
• 36:31
  was
• 36:31
  finally
• 36:31
  in
• 36:31
  a
• 36:32
  place
• 36:32
  that
• 36:32
  I
• 36:32
  was
• 36:32
  willing
• 36:32
  and
• 36:33
  accepting
• 36:34
  of
• 36:34
  what,
• 36:35
  like,
• 36:35
  was
• 36:35
  going
• 36:35
  to
• 36:35
  come
• 36:35
  from
• 36:36
  it.
• 36:36
  And
• 36:36
  I
• 36:36
  also
• 36:37
  was,
• 36:37
  like,
• 36:37
  willing
• 36:38
  to
• 36:38
  trust
• 36:38
  that
• 36:39
  if
• 36:39
  something
• 36:41
  negative
• 36:41
  did
• 36:41
  come
• 36:42
  out
• 36:42
  of
• 36:42
  it,
• 36:42
  like,
• 36:42
  if
• 36:42
  I
• 36:43
  did
• 36:43
  uncover
• 36:43
  cover,
• 36:44
  a
• 36:44
  deeply
• 36:45
  hidden
• 36:45
  memory
• 36:46
  that
• 36:46
  I
• 36:46
  could.
• 36:46
  That
• 36:46
  I
• 36:47
  was
• 36:47
  at
• 36:47
  a
• 36:47
  place
• 36:47
  now
• 36:48
  that
• 36:48
  I
• 36:48
  was
• 36:49
  going
• 36:49
  to
• 36:49
  be
• 36:49
  able
• 36:49
  to
• 36:49
  hold
• 36:49
  myself
• 36:50
  for
• 36:50
  it.
• 36:50
  Through
• 36:50
  it,
• 36:51
  I
• 36:51
  was
• 36:51
  going
• 36:51
  to
• 36:51
  say,
• 36:51
  you
• 36:52
  were
• 36:52
  at
• 36:52
  a
• 36:52
  safer
• 36:53
  place
• 36:53
  in
• 36:53
  your
• 36:53
  own
• 36:53
  being
• 36:54
  and
• 36:54
  in
• 36:54
  your
• 36:54
  own
• 36:54
  healings,
• 36:55
  that
• 36:55
  you
• 36:55
  could
• 36:55
  handle
• 36:56
  what
• 36:56
  was
• 36:56
  thrown
• 36:57
  at
• 36:57
  you.
• 36:57
  And
• 36:58
  I
• 36:58
  always
• 36:58
  say
• 36:58
  that
• 36:58
  of
• 36:58
  the
• 36:59
  universe
• 36:59
  or
• 36:59
  God
• 36:59
  or
• 37:00
  however
• 37:00
  you
• 37:00
  look
• 37:00
  at
• 37:00
  it
• 37:01
  in
• 37:01
  general,
• 37:01
  I'm
• 37:01
  like,
• 37:01
  You're
• 37:02
  not
• 37:02
  going
• 37:02
  to
• 37:02
  be
• 37:02
  given
• 37:02
  more
• 37:03
  than
• 37:03
  you
• 37:03
  can
• 37:03
  handle
• 37:03
  at
• 37:03
  the
• 37:04
  moment.
• 37:04
  So
• 37:04
  that's
• 37:05
  why
• 37:05
  you
• 37:05
  have
• 37:05
  it's.
• 37:06
  And
• 37:06
  it's
• 37:06
  unveiling
• 37:07
  in
• 37:07
  layers
• 37:07
  what
• 37:08
  you
• 37:08
  can
• 37:08
  handle
• 37:08
  and
• 37:08
  what
• 37:09
  you
• 37:09
  can't.
• 37:09
  I
• 37:09
  use
• 37:10
  that,
• 37:10
  I
• 37:10
  use
• 37:10
  that
• 37:10
  example,
• 37:11
  used
• 37:11
  emdr.
• 37:12
  I
• 37:12
  use
• 37:12
  EFT
• 37:13
  tapping
• 37:13
  as
• 37:13
  that
• 37:13
  example.
• 37:14
  A
• 37:14
  lot
• 37:14
  of
• 37:14
  people
• 37:14
  like,
• 37:15
  that
• 37:15
  doesn't
• 37:15
  work
• 37:15
  for
• 37:15
  me.
• 37:16
  Okay,
• 37:16
  that's
• 37:17
  fine,
• 37:17
  I
• 37:17
  get
• 37:18
  it.
• 37:18
  And
• 37:18
  then
• 37:18
  I'm
• 37:19
  like,
• 37:19
  but
• 37:19
  just
• 37:19
  for
• 37:19
  fun,
• 37:20
  try
• 37:20
  it
• 37:21
  again
• 37:21
  in
• 37:21
  a
• 37:21
  month.
• 37:21
  But
• 37:22
  I've
• 37:22
  had
• 37:22
  so
• 37:22
  many
• 37:22
  people
• 37:22
  that
• 37:23
  are
• 37:23
  like,
• 37:23
  wow,
• 37:23
  it
• 37:23
  took
• 37:23
  me
• 37:24
  like
• 37:24
  a
• 37:24
  good
• 37:24
  month
• 37:25
  of
• 37:25
  doing
• 37:25
  these
• 37:25
  five
• 37:25
  minute
• 37:26
  tapping
• 37:26
  things
• 37:26
  to
• 37:27
  where
• 37:27
  all
• 37:27
  of
• 37:27
  a
• 37:27
  sudden.
• 37:27
  But
• 37:27
  it
• 37:28
  was
• 37:28
  disbelief.
• 37:29
  That's
• 37:29
  what
• 37:29
  it
• 37:29
  was.
• 37:30
  This
• 37:30
  isn't
• 37:30
  going
• 37:30
  to
• 37:30
  work.
• 37:31
  It's
• 37:31
  the
• 37:31
  same
• 37:31
  thing
• 37:31
  that
• 37:31
  people
• 37:32
  that
• 37:32
  go
• 37:32
  and
• 37:32
  they
• 37:32
  get.
• 37:32
  Go
• 37:33
  to
• 37:33
  a
• 37:33
  hypnotherapist.
• 37:34
  If
• 37:34
  you
• 37:34
  go
• 37:35
  in
• 37:35
  with
• 37:35
  a
• 37:35
  closed
• 37:36
  mind
• 37:36
  and
• 37:36
  a
• 37:36
  negative
• 37:37
  mind.
• 37:38
  And
• 37:38
  like
• 37:38
  you
• 37:38
  said
• 37:39
  EMDR
• 37:39
  when
• 37:39
  you
• 37:40
  were
• 37:40
  scared
• 37:40
  to
• 37:40
  death
• 37:40
  of
• 37:41
  it,
• 37:41
  that's
• 37:41
  a
• 37:41
  closed
• 37:42
  mind
• 37:42
  that
• 37:43
  is
• 37:43
  not
• 37:43
  open
• 37:43
  to.
• 37:44
  Okay,
• 37:44
  this
• 37:44
  could
• 37:45
  potentially
• 37:45
  actually
• 37:45
  work
• 37:46
  for
• 37:46
  me.
• 37:47
  Yeah.
• 37:47
  And
• 37:48
  when
• 37:48
  I
• 37:48
  wasn't
• 37:48
  open
• 37:49
  to
• 37:49
  it
• 37:49
  because
• 37:49
  I
• 37:49
  didn't
• 37:49
  have
• 37:50
  the
• 37:50
  emotional
• 37:50
  safety.
• 37:51
  Right.
• 37:51
  I
• 37:51
  didn't
• 37:51
  feel
• 37:52
  grounded
• 37:52
  in
• 37:53
  myself
• 37:53
  at
• 37:54
  the
• 37:54
  time
• 37:54
  to
• 37:54
  be
• 37:54
  able
• 37:54
  to
• 37:54
  do
• 37:55
  it.
• 37:55
  And
• 37:55
  so
• 37:56
  I
• 37:56
  did.
• 37:56
  I've
• 37:57
  done
• 37:57
  a
• 37:57
  lot
• 37:57
  of
• 37:57
  different
• 37:58
  therapeutic
• 37:58
  modalities.
• 37:59
  And
• 38:00
  so
• 38:01
  I'll
• 38:01
  use.
• 38:01
  I
• 38:01
  did
• 38:02
  ketamine
• 38:02
  assisted
• 38:02
  therapy
• 38:03
  as
• 38:03
  well.
• 38:03
  And
• 38:04
  that
• 38:04
  one
• 38:04
  I
• 38:05
  was
• 38:05
  much
• 38:05
  more
• 38:05
  open
• 38:06
  to
• 38:06
  being
• 38:06
  like,
• 38:06
  we'll
• 38:07
  see
• 38:07
  where
• 38:07
  this
• 38:07
  goes.
• 38:08
  But
• 38:08
  it's
• 38:08
  the
• 38:08
  same
• 38:08
  possibility,
• 38:09
  right.
• 38:09
  That
• 38:09
  you
• 38:10
  could
• 38:10
  uncover
• 38:11
  hidden
• 38:11
  memories
• 38:12
  or
• 38:12
  whatever
• 38:13
  the
• 38:13
  case
• 38:13
  might
• 38:13
  be.
• 38:13
  You
• 38:13
  have
• 38:14
  that
• 38:14
  same
• 38:14
  possibility
• 38:15
  with
• 38:15
  it.
• 38:15
  But
• 38:15
  for
• 38:16
  whatever
• 38:16
  reason,
• 38:17
  I
• 38:17
  was
• 38:18
  less
• 38:18
  afraid
• 38:18
  of
• 38:18
  it
• 38:19
  than
• 38:19
  I
• 38:19
  was
• 38:20
  of
• 38:20
  emdr.
• 38:21
  And,
• 38:21
  and
• 38:22
  I
• 38:22
  will
• 38:22
  just
• 38:22
  say
• 38:22
  having
• 38:22
  gone
• 38:23
  through
• 38:24
  both
• 38:24
  and
• 38:25
  ketamine
• 38:26
  helped
• 38:26
  me
• 38:26
  to
• 38:26
  get
• 38:27
  to
• 38:27
  a
• 38:27
  place,
• 38:27
  get
• 38:28
  past
• 38:28
  a
• 38:28
  place
• 38:28
  that
• 38:28
  I
• 38:28
  was
• 38:29
  stuck.
• 38:29
  I
• 38:30
  had
• 38:30
  hit
• 38:30
  a
• 38:30
  point
• 38:30
  where
• 38:30
  I
• 38:30
  couldn't
• 38:31
  go
• 38:31
  any
• 38:31
  further
• 38:31
  and
• 38:32
  talk
• 38:32
  therapy.
• 38:32
  And
• 38:33
  she
• 38:33
  was
• 38:33
  like,
• 38:33
  we
• 38:33
  have
• 38:33
  to
• 38:33
  do
• 38:34
  something
• 38:34
  because
• 38:34
  you're
• 38:34
  just
• 38:34
  circling
• 38:35
  mentally.
• 38:36
  You
• 38:36
  are
• 38:36
  so
• 38:36
  blocked.
• 38:37
  We've
• 38:37
  got
• 38:37
  to
• 38:37
  get
• 38:37
  past
• 38:37
  this.
• 38:38
  And
• 38:39
  ketamine
• 38:40
  is
• 38:40
  what
• 38:41
  moved
• 38:41
  me
• 38:41
  past
• 38:42
  it.
• 38:42
  I
• 38:42
  think
• 38:42
  ketamine
• 38:43
  in
• 38:43
  a
• 38:43
  lot
• 38:43
  of
• 38:43
  ways
• 38:44
  helped
• 38:44
  me
• 38:44
  to
• 38:44
  become
• 38:45
  more
• 38:46
  safe
• 38:46
  within
• 38:47
  myself
• 38:47
  to
• 38:47
  be
• 38:47
  able
• 38:48
  to
• 38:48
  then
• 38:48
  go
• 38:49
  and
• 38:49
  do
• 38:49
  emdr.
• 38:50
  But
• 38:50
  EMDR
• 38:51
  is
• 38:51
  the
• 38:51
  single
• 38:52
  thing.
• 38:52
  It
• 38:52
  really
• 38:53
  accelerated
• 38:54
  all
• 38:54
  of
• 38:55
  the
• 38:55
  healing
• 38:55
  that
• 38:55
  was
• 38:55
  happening
• 38:56
  inside
• 38:56
  my
• 38:56
  mind.
• 38:57
  And
• 38:57
  then
• 38:58
  trauma
• 38:58
  sensitive
• 38:58
  yoga
• 39:00
  really
• 39:00
  helped
• 39:01
  to
• 39:02
  facilitate
• 39:03
  a
• 39:03
  lot
• 39:03
  of
• 39:03
  what
• 39:03
  was
• 39:03
  going
• 39:04
  on
• 39:04
  in
• 39:04
  my
• 39:04
  body.
• 39:05
  And
• 39:05
  so
• 39:05
  I
• 39:05
  think
• 39:06
  doing
• 39:06
  the
• 39:06
  two
• 39:06
  in
• 39:07
  tandem
• 39:07
  also
• 39:08
  just
• 39:09
  continued
• 39:09
  to
• 39:10
  build
• 39:10
  that
• 39:10
  stability
• 39:11
  and
• 39:11
  that
• 39:11
  strength
• 39:12
  within
• 39:12
  myself
• 39:13
  to
• 39:13
  where
• 39:13
  I
• 39:13
  was
• 39:13
  like,
• 39:14
  oh,
• 39:14
  my
• 39:14
  gosh,
• 39:14
  I
• 39:14
  can
• 39:15
  feel.
• 39:16
  I
• 39:16
  can
• 39:16
  feel
• 39:16
  in
• 39:16
  my
• 39:16
  body.
• 39:17
  I
• 39:17
  can
• 39:17
  feel
• 39:17
  in
• 39:18
  my
• 39:18
  mind
• 39:18
  how
• 39:19
  I
• 39:19
  am
• 39:19
  healing.
• 39:20
  And
• 39:21
  oh,
• 39:22
  gosh,
• 39:23
  I
• 39:23
  was
• 39:23
  gonna
• 39:23
  say,.
• 39:23
  That
• 39:24
  was
• 39:24
  the
• 39:24
  look
• 39:24
  I
• 39:24
  was
• 39:24
  looking
• 39:24
  for
• 39:25
  that.
• 39:28
  And
• 39:28
  when
• 39:28
  people
• 39:29
  are
• 39:29
  like,
• 39:29
  I
• 39:29
  don't
• 39:29
  believe
• 39:29
  any
• 39:30
  of
• 39:30
  this
• 39:30
  is
• 39:30
  gonna
• 39:30
  help
• 39:30
  me,
• 39:31
  I
• 39:31
  don't
• 39:31
  see
• 39:31
  how
• 39:31
  it's
• 39:31
  gonna
• 39:32
  help.
• 39:32
  I'm
• 39:32
  like,
• 39:32
  I'm
• 39:32
  living
• 39:33
  proof
• 39:33
  I
• 39:34
  was
• 39:34
  right
• 39:34
  there
• 39:34
  with
• 39:35
  you.
• 39:35
  Six
• 39:35
  years
• 39:36
  ago,
• 39:36
  I
• 39:36
  would
• 39:36
  have
• 39:37
  said
• 39:37
  the
• 39:37
  same
• 39:37
  thing.
• 39:37
  I
• 39:37
  don't
• 39:38
  know
• 39:38
  how
• 39:38
  I'm
• 39:39
  gonna
• 39:39
  get
• 39:39
  out
• 39:40
  of
• 39:40
  numbness.
• 39:41
  And
• 39:41
  yet
• 39:42
  here
• 39:42
  I
• 39:42
  am.
• 39:43
  And
• 39:43
  I
• 39:44
  can
• 39:44
  let
• 39:44
  joy
• 39:45
  and
• 39:45
  delight
• 39:46
  and
• 39:46
  goodness
• 39:47
  into
• 39:47
  my
• 39:47
  world,
• 39:47
  and
• 39:48
  I
• 39:48
  can
• 39:48
  hold
• 39:48
  them
• 39:49
  and
• 39:49
  I
• 39:49
  can
• 39:49
  see
• 39:49
  them
• 39:50
  as
• 39:50
  precious
• 39:50
  and
• 39:51
  powerful,
• 39:52
  and
• 39:52
  they
• 39:53
  themselves
• 39:54
  are
• 39:54
  healing.
• 39:55
  And
• 39:56
  so,
• 39:56
  yeah,
• 39:56
  it's
• 39:56
  incredible.
• 39:58
  That's
• 39:58
  awesome.
• 39:59
  So
• 39:59
  tell
• 39:59
  us
• 39:59
  about
• 40:00
  your
• 40:00
  book
• 40:00
  real
• 40:00
  quick.
• 40:02
  The
• 40:02
  book
• 40:02
  is
• 40:02
  titled
• 40:02
  Ever
• 40:03
  Woven.
• 40:03
  A
• 40:03
  Memoir,
• 40:04
  A
• 40:04
  Reckoning.
• 40:05
  And
• 40:05
  so
• 40:05
  as
• 40:06
  part
• 40:06
  of
• 40:06
  kind
• 40:06
  of
• 40:06
  this
• 40:06
  healing
• 40:07
  journey,
• 40:07
  I
• 40:08
  wrote
• 40:08
  the
• 40:08
  book
• 40:08
  as
• 40:09
  a
• 40:09
  conversation
• 40:10
  between
• 40:11
  present
• 40:11
  me
• 40:12
  and
• 40:12
  the
• 40:12
  past
• 40:13
  me
• 40:13
  who
• 40:14
  lived
• 40:15
  through
• 40:15
  the
• 40:15
  hell
• 40:15
  that
• 40:16
  they
• 40:16
  had
• 40:16
  to
• 40:16
  go
• 40:16
  through.
• 40:17
  And
• 40:17
  it
• 40:17
  was
• 40:17
  a
• 40:18
  silent
• 40:18
  one.
• 40:18
  And
• 40:19
  so
• 40:19
  really,
• 40:19
  for
• 40:19
  me,
• 40:20
  this
• 40:20
  was
• 40:20
  an
• 40:20
  opportunity
• 40:21
  to
• 40:21
  let
• 40:21
  them
• 40:22
  say
• 40:22
  the
• 40:22
  things
• 40:23
  that
• 40:23
  they
• 40:23
  kept
• 40:23
  unspoken
• 40:25
  for
• 40:25
  the
• 40:25
  need
• 40:26
  of
• 40:26
  safety,
• 40:26
  whatever
• 40:27
  the
• 40:27
  case
• 40:27
  may
• 40:27
  be,
• 40:27
  but
• 40:28
  also
• 40:28
  to
• 40:28
  face
• 40:28
  myself
• 40:29
  and
• 40:29
  my
• 40:29
  own
• 40:30
  self
• 40:30
  abandonment,
• 40:30
  the
• 40:31
  ways
• 40:31
  in
• 40:31
  which
• 40:31
  I
• 40:32
  was
• 40:32
  always
• 40:33
  eyeballs
• 40:33
  looking
• 40:34
  outward
• 40:35
  and
• 40:35
  always
• 40:35
  planning
• 40:36
  for
• 40:36
  what
• 40:36
  was
• 40:36
  coming
• 40:36
  next
• 40:37
  and
• 40:37
  never
• 40:37
  really
• 40:38
  tending
• 40:39
  to
• 40:39
  the
• 40:40
  me
• 40:40
  that
• 40:40
  was
• 40:40
  existing
• 40:41
  inside
• 40:41
  this
• 40:42
  body.
• 40:42
  And
• 40:43
  so
• 40:43
  this
• 40:43
  was
• 40:43
  an
• 40:43
  opportunity
• 40:44
  for
• 40:44
  me
• 40:44
  to
• 40:44
  sit
• 40:45
  down
• 40:45
  with
• 40:45
  those
• 40:45
  past
• 40:46
  versions
• 40:47
  and
• 40:47
  say
• 40:48
  the
• 40:48
  things
• 40:48
  that
• 40:48
  they
• 40:48
  needed
• 40:49
  to
• 40:49
  hear
• 40:49
  that
• 40:49
  they
• 40:49
  didn't
• 40:50
  deserve
• 40:50
  what
• 40:50
  happened
• 40:51
  to
• 40:51
  them,
• 40:51
  that
• 40:52
  someone
• 40:52
  should
• 40:52
  have
• 40:52
  protected
• 40:53
  them,
• 40:53
  to
• 40:54
  be
• 40:54
  the
• 40:54
  one
• 40:54
  that
• 40:54
  then
• 40:55
  goes
• 40:55
  back
• 40:55
  and
• 40:56
  protects
• 40:56
  them
• 40:57
  and
• 40:57
  says,
• 40:57
  I've
• 40:58
  got
• 40:58
  us
• 40:58
  now.
• 40:59
  And
• 40:59
  so
• 40:59
  it's
• 40:59
  really
• 41:00
  a
• 41:00
  story
• 41:00
  about
• 41:01
  that
• 41:02
  process
• 41:02
  of
• 41:02
  me
• 41:03
  facing
• 41:03
  myself
• 41:04
  and
• 41:05
  allowing
• 41:05
  myself
• 41:06
  to
• 41:06
  just
• 41:07
  show
• 41:07
  up
• 41:07
  in
• 41:07
  the
• 41:07
  ways
• 41:08
  that
• 41:08
  I
• 41:08
  never
• 41:08
  allowed
• 41:09
  myself
• 41:09
  to
• 41:09
  before.
• 41:10
  And
• 41:10
  in.
• 41:10
  In
• 41:11
  doing
• 41:11
  so,
• 41:11
  to
• 41:12
  say,
• 41:12
  this
• 41:12
  is
• 41:12
  what
• 41:13
  it's
• 41:13
  like
• 41:13
  to
• 41:13
  be
• 41:13
  in
• 41:13
  the
• 41:14
  in
• 41:14
  between,
• 41:15
  to
• 41:15
  have
• 41:16
  survived
• 41:16
  something,
• 41:17
  to
• 41:17
  have
• 41:17
  lived
• 41:17
  in
• 41:17
  survival
• 41:18
  mode
• 41:18
  and
• 41:19
  to
• 41:19
  be
• 41:19
  working
• 41:19
  my
• 41:19
  way
• 41:20
  out
• 41:20
  of
• 41:20
  it.
• 41:20
  And.
• 41:21
  And
• 41:21
  here's
• 41:22
  what
• 41:22
  that
• 41:22
  looks
• 41:23
  like.
• 41:23
  Because
• 41:24
  so
• 41:24
  many
• 41:24
  books
• 41:25
  are
• 41:25
  about
• 41:26
  either
• 41:27
  how
• 41:27
  to
• 41:27
  survive
• 41:27
  trauma,
• 41:28
  or
• 41:28
  they're
• 41:29
  like,
• 41:29
  if
• 41:29
  they're
• 41:29
  trauma
• 41:29
  memoirs,
• 41:30
  they're
• 41:30
  oftentimes,
• 41:31
  this
• 41:31
  is
• 41:31
  what
• 41:31
  happens,
• 41:32
  and
• 41:32
  this
• 41:32
  is
• 41:33
  how
• 41:33
  I
• 41:33
  survived
• 41:34
  it.
• 41:34
  And
• 41:35
  then
• 41:35
  that's
• 41:35
  where
• 41:35
  it
• 41:35
  ends,
• 41:36
  is
• 41:36
  that
• 41:36
  it
• 41:36
  ends
• 41:37
  with
• 41:37
  the
• 41:37
  I
• 41:37
  survived
• 41:38
  it.
• 41:38
  But
• 41:39
  that
• 41:39
  is,
• 41:40
  I
• 41:40
  think,
• 41:41
  the
• 41:41
  first
• 41:41
  part
• 41:41
  of
• 41:42
  a
• 41:42
  trauma
• 41:42
  story,
• 41:43
  because
• 41:43
  the
• 41:43
  second
• 41:44
  part
• 41:44
  is
• 41:44
  now
• 41:45
  how
• 41:45
  do
• 41:45
  you
• 41:45
  survive
• 41:46
  what's
• 41:47
  happening
• 41:47
  internally?
• 41:48
  And
• 41:48
  how
• 41:49
  do
• 41:49
  you
• 41:49
  move
• 41:49
  beyond
• 41:49
  and
• 41:50
  heal
• 41:50
  from
• 41:50
  what's
• 41:51
  happening
• 41:51
  internally?
• 41:52
  And
• 41:52
  so
• 41:53
  for
• 41:53
  me,
• 41:53
  that's
• 41:53
  really
• 41:53
  the
• 41:54
  point
• 41:54
  of
• 41:54
  writing
• 41:54
  the
• 41:54
  book.
• 41:55
  That's
• 41:55
  awesome.
• 41:56
  I'm
• 41:56
  gonna
• 41:56
  have
• 41:56
  to
• 41:56
  get
• 41:56
  that
• 41:56
  one.
• 41:57
  And
• 41:57
  I
• 41:57
  will
• 41:57
  put
• 41:57
  it
• 41:57
  in
• 41:57
  the
• 41:57
  show
• 41:58
  notes
• 41:58
  for
• 41:58
  the
• 41:58
  listeners.
• 41:58
  If
• 41:59
  you
• 41:59
  want
• 41:59
  to
• 41:59
  grab
• 41:59
  the
• 41:59
  book,
• 41:59
  I
• 42:00
  will
• 42:00
  put
• 42:00
  the
• 42:00
  link
• 42:00
  in
• 42:00
  there.
• 42:01
  I
• 42:01
  think
• 42:01
  that's
• 42:01
  so
• 42:01
  important
• 42:02
  because
• 42:03
  the
• 42:03
  trauma
• 42:04
  part
• 42:04
  of
• 42:04
  it
• 42:05
  is
• 42:05
  just
• 42:05
  the
• 42:05
  beginning
• 42:06
  of
• 42:06
  the
• 42:06
  story,
• 42:06
  if
• 42:07
  you
• 42:07
  want
• 42:07
  it
• 42:07
  to,
• 42:07
  or
• 42:08
  it
• 42:08
  is.
• 42:08
  It's
• 42:09
  just
• 42:09
  the
• 42:09
  beginning
• 42:09
  section.
• 42:10
  And
• 42:10
  you
• 42:11
  can
• 42:11
  either
• 42:11
  die
• 42:11
  in
• 42:12
  your
• 42:12
  mind
• 42:12
  and
• 42:12
  in
• 42:12
  your
• 42:13
  body
• 42:13
  and
• 42:13
  in
• 42:13
  your
• 42:13
  soul
• 42:14
  at
• 42:14
  that
• 42:14
  moment,
• 42:15
  or
• 42:15
  at
• 42:15
  the.
• 42:15
  At
• 42:15
  that
• 42:16
  stage,
• 42:16
  or
• 42:16
  you
• 42:17
  can
• 42:17
  start
• 42:17
  walking
• 42:18
  forward.
• 42:18
  And
• 42:18
  I
• 42:19
  think
• 42:20
  you're
• 42:20
  right.
• 42:21
  It's
• 42:21
  like
• 42:21
  people
• 42:21
  just
• 42:21
  identify
• 42:22
  them
• 42:22
  with
• 42:22
  themselves
• 42:23
  as,
• 42:23
  I'm
• 42:23
  a
• 42:23
  survivor.
• 42:24
  How
• 42:24
  about
• 42:24
  now
• 42:25
  we
• 42:25
  become
• 42:25
  a
• 42:25
  thriver?
• 42:26
  How
• 42:26
  about
• 42:26
  now
• 42:27
  we.
• 42:27
  We
• 42:28
  bring
• 42:28
  the
• 42:28
  joy
• 42:28
  and
• 42:29
  the
• 42:29
  love
• 42:29
  and
• 42:29
  the.
• 42:30
  And
• 42:30
  all
• 42:30
  of
• 42:30
  the
• 42:30
  things
• 42:30
  that
• 42:31
  we
• 42:31
  were
• 42:31
  bringing
• 42:31
  born
• 42:32
  with
• 42:32
  back
• 42:32
  into
• 42:33
  us,
• 42:33
  because
• 42:34
  they
• 42:34
  were
• 42:34
  never
• 42:34
  gone.
• 42:35
  They
• 42:35
  were
• 42:35
  just
• 42:35
  buried
• 42:36
  so,
• 42:36
  so
• 42:37
  deep.
• 42:38
  Under
• 42:38
  layers
• 42:39
  and
• 42:39
  layers
• 42:39
  of
• 42:39
  pain
• 42:40
  and
• 42:40
  protection
• 42:41
  and.
• 42:41
  Yeah,
• 42:41
  absolutely.
• 42:42
  And
• 42:42
  so
• 42:43
  it's
• 42:43
  really
• 42:43
  important,
• 42:43
  I
• 42:44
  think,
• 42:44
  to
• 42:44
  know
• 42:44
  that
• 42:45
  you
• 42:45
  don't
• 42:46
  survive.
• 42:47
  You
• 42:47
  don't
• 42:47
  survive
• 42:48
  awfulness,
• 42:49
  to
• 42:49
  just
• 42:50
  let
• 42:50
  numbness
• 42:50
  be
• 42:51
  the
• 42:51
  end,
• 42:51
  right?
• 42:52
  And
• 42:52
  so
• 42:53
  for
• 42:53
  so
• 42:53
  many
• 42:53
  people,
• 42:54
  that
• 42:54
  is.
• 42:54
  That's
• 42:55
  where
• 42:55
  that.
• 42:55
  Where
• 42:55
  they
• 42:56
  end,
• 42:56
  right?
• 42:56
  They're
• 42:57
  like,
• 42:57
  I
• 42:57
  got
• 42:57
  through
• 42:57
  the
• 42:57
  hard
• 42:58
  thing,
• 42:58
  and
• 42:59
  now
• 42:59
  this
• 42:59
  is
• 42:59
  just
• 43:00
  what
• 43:00
  my
• 43:00
  life
• 43:00
  is.
• 43:01
  And
• 43:02
  I
• 43:02
  guess
• 43:03
  this
• 43:03
  book
• 43:03
  is
• 43:03
  also
• 43:04
  a
• 43:04
  testament
• 43:04
  to
• 43:05
  the
• 43:05
  fact
• 43:05
  it
• 43:05
  doesn't
• 43:05
  have
• 43:05
  to
• 43:06
  be.
• 43:06
  And
• 43:06
  here's
• 43:07
  the
• 43:07
  things.
• 43:07
  So
• 43:08
  I
• 43:08
  go
• 43:08
  into
• 43:08
  detail
• 43:08
  about
• 43:09
  the
• 43:09
  things
• 43:09
  that
• 43:09
  I
• 43:09
  did
• 43:09
  on
• 43:10
  my
• 43:10
  healing
• 43:10
  journey
• 43:10
  to
• 43:11
  get
• 43:11
  to
• 43:12
  where
• 43:12
  I
• 43:12
  am
• 43:12
  now,
• 43:13
  but
• 43:13
  also
• 43:14
  a
• 43:14
  very
• 43:14
  honest
• 43:15
  conversation
• 43:16
  about
• 43:16
  what
• 43:16
  I'm
• 43:16
  still
• 43:17
  struggling
• 43:17
  with,
• 43:17
  because
• 43:18
  there's
• 43:19
  no
• 43:19
  such
• 43:19
  thing
• 43:19
  as
• 43:19
  healed.
• 43:20
  There
• 43:20
  is
• 43:20
  an
• 43:21
  ongoing
• 43:22
  evolution
• 43:22
  of
• 43:23
  self,
• 43:23
  and
• 43:23
  that
• 43:24
  is
• 43:24
  really,
• 43:24
  for
• 43:24
  me,
• 43:25
  that's
• 43:25
  what's
• 43:25
  going
• 43:25
  on.
• 43:26
  And
• 43:26
  so
• 43:26
  you're
• 43:26
  going
• 43:26
  to
• 43:27
  see
• 43:27
  in
• 43:28
  the
• 43:28
  book,
• 43:28
  I
• 43:28
  talk
• 43:28
  very
• 43:28
  honestly
• 43:29
  about
• 43:29
  now.
• 43:30
  My.
• 43:30
  My
• 43:31
  fear
• 43:31
  isn't
• 43:31
  what
• 43:31
  if
• 43:31
  it
• 43:32
  all
• 43:32
  goes
• 43:32
  wrong?
• 43:32
  My
• 43:33
  fear
• 43:33
  is
• 43:33
  what
• 43:33
  if
• 43:33
  it
• 43:33
  all
• 43:34
  goes
• 43:34
  right?
• 43:34
  And
• 43:35
  so
• 43:35
  fear
• 43:35
  of
• 43:35
  success,
• 43:36
  fear
• 43:36
  of.
• 43:37
  Fear
• 43:37
  of
• 43:37
  the
• 43:37
  good.
• 43:38
  Like,
• 43:38
  how
• 43:38
  do
• 43:39
  you
• 43:39
  navigate
• 43:39
  those
• 43:39
  things
• 43:40
  and
• 43:40
  how
• 43:40
  do
• 43:40
  you
• 43:40
  let
• 43:40
  them
• 43:40
  in
• 43:41
  ways
• 43:41
  that
• 43:41
  feel
• 43:42
  sustainable
• 43:42
  for
• 43:43
  a
• 43:43
  nervous
• 43:43
  system
• 43:43
  that
• 43:44
  is
• 43:44
  still
• 43:44
  wired
• 43:45
  to
• 43:46
  expect
• 43:47
  danger
• 43:47
  and
• 43:48
  stuff?
• 43:48
  And
• 43:48
  so
• 43:48
  how
• 43:49
  do
• 43:49
  you
• 43:49
  transition
• 43:50
  away
• 43:50
  from
• 43:51
  always
• 43:52
  expecting
• 43:52
  danger
• 43:53
  to
• 43:54
  allowing
• 43:55
  life
• 43:55
  to
• 43:55
  just
• 43:56
  unfold
• 43:56
  in
• 43:56
  front
• 43:56
  of
• 43:57
  you
• 43:57
  and
• 43:57
  know
• 43:58
  that
• 43:58
  you're
• 43:58
  okay
• 43:58
  to
• 43:59
  be
• 43:59
  able
• 43:59
  to
• 43:59
  handle
• 43:59
  whatever
• 44:00
  comes?
• 44:01
  And
• 44:02
  that's
• 44:02
  the
• 44:02
  mystery.
• 44:02
  That
• 44:03
  is
• 44:03
  absolutely
• 44:04
  the
• 44:04
  mystery.
• 44:04
  Because
• 44:04
  when
• 44:05
  you
• 44:05
  start
• 44:05
  on
• 44:06
  this
• 44:06
  journey
• 44:06
  and
• 44:06
  all
• 44:06
  of
• 44:06
  a
• 44:06
  sudden
• 44:07
  it's
• 44:07
  like
• 44:07
  you
• 44:07
  have
• 44:07
  this
• 44:08
  openness
• 44:08
  to
• 44:08
  this
• 44:09
  joy
• 44:10
  that
• 44:10
  feels
• 44:10
  more
• 44:11
  uncomfortable
• 44:11
  sitting
• 44:12
  with.
• 44:12
  That
• 44:12
  feels
• 44:12
  more,
• 44:13
  you
• 44:13
  know,
• 44:13
  you
• 44:13
  finally
• 44:14
  get
• 44:14
  that
• 44:14
  good
• 44:14
  relationship
• 44:15
  and
• 44:15
  you
• 44:15
  can't
• 44:15
  sit
• 44:15
  still
• 44:16
  and
• 44:16
  you're
• 44:16
  like,
• 44:16
  oh,
• 44:16
  this
• 44:16
  is
• 44:17
  not
• 44:17
  good.
• 44:18
  Or
• 44:18
  what's
• 44:18
  the
• 44:19
  catch?
• 44:19
  Wait,
• 44:19
  it's
• 44:19
  all
• 44:20
  going
• 44:20
  right.
• 44:20
  What's
• 44:21
  the
• 44:21
  catch?
• 44:21
  Or
• 44:21
  waiting
• 44:22
  for
• 44:22
  the
• 44:22
  other
• 44:22
  shoe
• 44:23
  to
• 44:23
  drop.
• 44:23
  Or
• 44:24
  all
• 44:24
  of
• 44:24
  the
• 44:24
  things.
• 44:24
  Yeah,
• 44:25
  absolute.
• 44:25
  Absolutely.
• 44:26
  It's
• 44:26
  very
• 44:27
  hard.
• 44:29
  And
• 44:29
  that's
• 44:30
  the
• 44:30
  part
• 44:30
  you
• 44:30
  would
• 44:30
  think
• 44:30
  everybody
• 44:31
  be
• 44:31
  like,
• 44:31
  oh,
• 44:32
  good,
• 44:32
  I
• 44:32
  got
• 44:32
  this
• 44:32
  great
• 44:33
  guy
• 44:33
  now.
• 44:33
  And
• 44:33
  it's,
• 44:34
  oh,
• 44:34
  no,
• 44:34
  that
• 44:34
  does
• 44:34
  not
• 44:35
  feel
• 44:35
  comfortable
• 44:36
  at
• 44:36
  all.
• 44:37
  When
• 44:37
  you
• 44:37
  spent
• 44:38
  your
• 44:38
  entire
• 44:38
  life
• 44:38
  with
• 44:39
  bad
• 44:39
  relationships,
• 44:40
  and
• 44:40
  all
• 44:40
  of
• 44:40
  a
• 44:40
  sudden
• 44:40
  you're
• 44:40
  like,
• 44:40
  okay,
• 44:41
  what's
• 44:41
  wrong?
• 44:41
  What's.
• 44:42
  And
• 44:42
  then
• 44:42
  it's,
• 44:42
  okay,
• 44:42
  I
• 44:43
  must.
• 44:43
  I'm
• 44:43
  gonna
• 44:43
  do
• 44:43
  something
• 44:44
  wrong
• 44:44
  to
• 44:44
  mess
• 44:44
  this
• 44:44
  up.
• 44:45
  And
• 44:45
  then
• 44:45
  it's
• 44:45
  that
• 44:45
  shame
• 44:46
  spiral.
• 44:46
  It's
• 44:46
  a
• 44:47
  whole
• 44:47
  thing.
• 44:47
  We
• 44:47
  could
• 44:47
  literally
• 44:48
  talk
• 44:48
  forever
• 44:50
  about
• 44:50
  all
• 44:50
  the
• 44:50
  different
• 44:50
  kind,
• 44:51
  you
• 44:51
  know,
• 44:51
  the
• 44:52
  different
• 44:52
  parts
• 44:52
  of
• 44:52
  this.
• 44:53
  But
• 44:54
  this
• 44:54
  has
• 44:54
  been
• 44:54
  super
• 44:55
  fun.
• 44:55
  Yeah.
• 44:56
  And
• 44:56
  if
• 44:56
  people
• 44:57
  want
• 44:57
  to
• 44:57
  work
• 44:57
  with
• 44:58
  you,
• 44:58
  how
• 44:58
  do
• 44:58
  they
• 44:58
  get
• 44:59
  hold
• 44:59
  of
• 44:59
  you?
• 45:00
  Yeah.
• 45:00
  So
• 45:00
  going
• 45:00
  to
• 45:01
  my
• 45:01
  website,
• 45:01
  MeganMargario.com
• 45:03
  will
• 45:03
  be
• 45:03
  the
• 45:03
  easiest
• 45:03
  way.
• 45:04
  There's
• 45:04
  a
• 45:04
  form
• 45:05
  that
• 45:05
  you
• 45:05
  can
• 45:05
  fill
• 45:05
  out
• 45:05
  on
• 45:06
  there
• 45:06
  that
• 45:06
  you
• 45:06
  can
• 45:07
  connect.
• 45:07
  You
• 45:07
  can
• 45:07
  also
• 45:08
  subscribe
• 45:08
  to
• 45:08
  my
• 45:08
  newsletter.
• 45:09
  And
• 45:09
  when
• 45:09
  you
• 45:09
  do,
• 45:10
  I
• 45:10
  send
• 45:10
  out
• 45:10
  a.
• 45:11
  Just
• 45:11
  a
• 45:11
  quick
• 45:11
  little
• 45:12
  thing
• 45:12
  for
• 45:12
  you,
• 45:12
  like
• 45:12
  a
• 45:13
  PDF
• 45:13
  about
• 45:13
  just
• 45:14
  little
• 45:14
  ways
• 45:14
  to
• 45:14
  let
• 45:15
  goodness
• 45:15
  find
• 45:16
  its
• 45:16
  way
• 45:16
  into
• 45:16
  your
• 45:16
  world
• 45:17
  so
• 45:17
  that
• 45:17
  you
• 45:17
  can
• 45:17
  start
• 45:18
  noticing
• 45:19
  the
• 45:19
  delight
• 45:19
  that's
• 45:20
  around
• 45:20
  you
• 45:20
  without
• 45:21
  having
• 45:21
  to
• 45:22
  look
• 45:22
  for
• 45:22
  it,
• 45:22
  without
• 45:23
  having
• 45:23
  to
• 45:23
  do
• 45:24
  anything
• 45:24
  for
• 45:24
  it.
• 45:25
  Just
• 45:25
  allowing
• 45:26
  little
• 45:26
  ways
• 45:26
  that
• 45:26
  you
• 45:27
  can
• 45:27
  let
• 45:27
  it
• 45:27
  in.
• 45:28
  Very
• 45:28
  cool.
• 45:29
  Very
• 45:29
  cool.
• 45:29
  Thank
• 45:30
  you
• 45:30
  so
• 45:30
  much,
• 45:30
  Megan,
• 45:30
  for
• 45:31
  coming.
• 45:31
  Before
• 45:31
  you
• 45:31
  leave,
• 45:32
  though,
• 45:33
  give
• 45:33
  the
• 45:34
  listeners,
• 45:34
  if
• 45:34
  you
• 45:34
  had
• 45:35
  to
• 45:35
  give
• 45:35
  them
• 45:35
  one
• 45:35
  big
• 45:36
  message,
• 45:36
  and
• 45:36
  I
• 45:36
  think
• 45:37
  you
• 45:37
  just
• 45:37
  started
• 45:37
  giving
• 45:38
  it.
• 45:38
  But
• 45:38
  what
• 45:38
  would
• 45:39
  that
• 45:39
  message
• 45:39
  be
• 45:39
  to
• 45:39
  people?
• 45:41
  That
• 45:42
  survival
• 45:42
  is
• 45:42
  only
• 45:42
  half
• 45:43
  the
• 45:43
  story.
• 45:43
  I
• 45:43
  think
• 45:44
  that's
• 45:44
  a
• 45:44
  really
• 45:44
  important
• 45:45
  part
• 45:45
  of
• 45:45
  it,
• 45:45
  is
• 45:45
  that
• 45:46
  we
• 45:46
  are
• 45:47
  aliveness.
• 45:48
  Our
• 45:48
  aliveness
• 45:49
  includes
• 45:50
  our
• 45:50
  ability
• 45:51
  to
• 45:51
  hold
• 45:51
  the
• 45:51
  shadow
• 45:52
  and
• 45:52
  the
• 45:53
  light.
• 45:53
  And
• 45:54
  so
• 45:54
  letting
• 45:55
  the
• 45:55
  good
• 45:55
  find
• 45:56
  its
• 45:56
  way
• 45:56
  into
• 45:57
  our
• 45:57
  world
• 45:57
  is
• 45:58
  so
• 45:58
  important
• 45:58
  because
• 45:59
  we
• 46:00
  don't
• 46:00
  survive
• 46:01
  to
• 46:01
  be
• 46:02
  numb.
• 46:02
  We
• 46:02
  survive
• 46:03
  to
• 46:03
  be
• 46:03
  alive.
• 46:04
  And
• 46:04
  our
• 46:04
  aliveness
• 46:05
  includes
• 46:06
  the
• 46:06
  delight,
• 46:07
  the
• 46:07
  joy,
• 46:07
  the
• 46:07
  goodness,
• 46:08
  the
• 46:08
  peace,
• 46:08
  the
• 46:09
  ease,
• 46:09
  the
• 46:09
  comfort,
• 46:09
  all
• 46:10
  of
• 46:10
  those
• 46:10
  things.
• 46:11
  And
• 46:11
  every
• 46:11
  single
• 46:12
  person,
• 46:12
  just
• 46:13
  by
• 46:13
  the
• 46:13
  mere
• 46:14
  fact
• 46:14
  that
• 46:14
  they
• 46:14
  exist
• 46:15
  is
• 46:15
  deserving
• 46:16
  of
• 46:16
  all
• 46:17
  of
• 46:17
  it.
• 46:18
  Amen.
• 46:19
  Love
• 46:19
  that.
• 46:19
  Absolutely
• 46:20
  love
• 46:20
  that.
• 46:20
  Thank
• 46:21
  you
• 46:21
  so
• 46:21
  much
• 46:21
  for
• 46:21
  Megan
• 46:22
  for
• 46:22
  coming
• 46:22
  on.
• 46:23
  Thank
• 46:23
  you
• 46:23
  so
• 46:23
  much
• 46:23
  for
• 46:23
  having
• 46:24
  me.
• 46:24
  It's
• 46:24
  been
• 46:24
  an
• 46:24
  absolute
• 46:25
  pleasure.
• 46:25
  Yes,
• 46:26
  I
• 46:26
  absolutely
• 46:27
  adored
• 46:27
  the
• 46:27
  conversation
• 46:28
  and
• 46:28
  for
• 46:28
  everybody
• 46:29
  else
• 46:29
  out
• 46:29
  there
• 46:29
  listening,
• 46:30
  you
• 46:30
  heard
• 46:30
  it.
• 46:30
  You
• 46:31
  did
• 46:31
  not
• 46:31
  get
• 46:32
  through,
• 46:32
  go
• 46:32
  through
• 46:33
  and
• 46:33
  survive
• 46:33
  everything
• 46:34
  you
• 46:34
  did
• 46:35
  just
• 46:35
  to
• 46:35
  exist.
• 46:37
  You
• 46:37
  survived
• 46:38
  it
• 46:38
  so
• 46:38
  that
• 46:38
  you
• 46:39
  could
• 46:39
  have
• 46:39
  a
• 46:40
  better
• 46:40
  life
• 46:40
  and
• 46:41
  more
• 46:41
  joy
• 46:41
  and
• 46:42
  everything
• 46:42
  you
• 46:43
  deserve.
• 46:43
  And
• 46:43
  if
• 46:43
  you're
• 46:44
  feeling
• 46:44
  unworthy,
• 46:45
  go
• 46:45
  talk
• 46:46
  to
• 46:46
  someone,
• 46:47
  reach
• 46:47
  out
• 46:47
  to
• 46:47
  Megan,
• 46:48
  reach
• 46:48
  out
• 46:48
  to
• 46:48
  me
• 46:49
  if
• 46:49
  you
• 46:49
  don't
• 46:49
  think
• 46:49
  you
• 46:50
  deserve
• 46:50
  it
• 46:50
  in
• 46:50
  your
• 46:50
  heart
• 46:51
  and
• 46:51
  ask
• 46:51
  yourself
• 46:52
  that.
• 46:52
  Say
• 46:52
  I
• 46:53
  deserve
• 46:53
  all
• 46:53
  good
• 46:54
  things
• 46:54
  and
• 46:54
  then
• 46:55
  sit
• 46:55
  with
• 46:55
  that
• 46:56
  and
• 46:56
  see
• 46:56
  what
• 46:56
  that
• 46:57
  feels
• 46:57
  like.
• 46:57
  Because
• 46:57
  if
• 46:58
  you
• 46:58
  get
• 46:58
  that
• 46:59
  flinch
• 46:59
  in
• 46:59
  your
• 46:59
  belly
• 47:00
  or
• 47:00
  your
• 47:00
  jaw
• 47:00
  gets
• 47:00
  a
• 47:00
  little
• 47:01
  tight
• 47:01
  or
• 47:01
  your
• 47:01
  shoulders
• 47:01
  go
• 47:02
  up
• 47:02
  when
• 47:02
  you
• 47:02
  say
• 47:02
  to
• 47:02
  yourself
• 47:03
  I
• 47:03
  deserve
• 47:03
  all
• 47:04
  things
• 47:04
  or
• 47:04
  I
• 47:05
  deserve
• 47:05
  all
• 47:05
  good
• 47:05
  things,
• 47:06
  then
• 47:06
  you
• 47:07
  might
• 47:07
  not
• 47:07
  truly
• 47:08
  believe
• 47:08
  it
• 47:08
  and
• 47:08
  you
• 47:08
  deserve
• 47:09
  to
• 47:09
  explore
• 47:10
  that
• 47:10
  and
• 47:10
  you
• 47:10
  deserve
• 47:12
  every
• 47:12
  single
• 47:12
  second
• 47:13
  you
• 47:13
  spend
• 47:14
  giving
• 47:14
  yourself
• 47:14
  a
• 47:15
  better
• 47:15
  life.
• 47:15
  So
• 47:16
  thank
• 47:16
  you
• 47:16
  all.
• 47:16
  You
• 47:16
  have
• 47:17
  a
• 47:17
  blessed
• 47:17
  week
• 47:17
  and
• 47:17
  we
• 47:18
  will
• 47:18
  see
• 47:18
  you
• 47:18
  back
• 47:18
  soon.