Latest / Closing Sales in Nigeria - Sales For The Nigerian Business Person: The Sales and Marketing Blueprint / Guardrails for Growth: Practical Tips for Female Founders in Sales
Transcript
- 0:01Hello and welcome to the show. Taking today's recording at my
- 0:04desk. It's a weekend, the kids are
- 0:06home, the neighbors are doing some renovation work.
- 0:08So there's going to be lots of interruptions coming in through
- 0:11the background. Now, this is your first time
- 0:13listening to the podcast. Don't worry, I'm not here to
- 0:15tell you about my kids or my neighbors.
- 0:17The goal of this show is free business education, so we're
- 0:20here to talk about all things sales and marketing related.
- 0:24So if you get any value from the podcast by the time we're done,
- 0:27share, promote and talk about the show so that your friends
- 0:30and family members and your enemies as well and Nigeria and
- 0:33abroad can benefit from the questions that we tackle.
- 0:36Why should you tell your enemies?
- 0:37Because if your enemies make more money, you make money as
- 0:39well. But we'll talk about that later.
- 0:41So your people can subscribe on Spotify, YouTube, Apple, or any
- 0:45player of their choice. And if you have any sales or
- 0:47marketing questions, bring them to me.
- 0:50You can call me, you can SMS, you can WhatsApp me on
- 0:5208064662140. Today on the show we're going to
- 0:59talk about, I'm going to share a conversation that I had with a
- 1:03female mentee of mine where I give some advice on how to
- 1:07handle the sales process, on how to deal with on toward advances
- 1:12in sales, if you understand what I mean.
- 1:14So you're a female salesperson, you're in business for yourself
- 1:17or you're selling for a company. And there's one idiot, you know,
- 1:20there's one bastard who thinks that he has seen free meat that
- 1:23he can eat. So if you're in those
- 1:24situations, some of the conversations, but basically
- 1:30just showing how to do all those kinds of issues.
- 1:33And before we begin, I would like to say that I'm extremely
- 1:39sorry. So well, OK, maybe not sorry.
- 1:42I'm extremely saddened that there are a lot of you who are
- 1:45sales professionals, women, female sales professionals,
- 1:48young girls, you're trying to take a stab at business.
- 1:52And I'm extremely saddened that for some of you, these are some
- 1:56of the experiences that you guys, the experiences that you
- 2:00guys face when just trying to build a career or just trying to
- 2:04make, trying to make a living. So it's really, really sad to
- 2:07hear that. But hopefully today we're going
- 2:10to come up with some ideas that I hope will be able to put you
- 2:15on the forefront of some of these things, to be able to
- 2:17anticipate some of these things and to be able to handle some of
- 2:20these things in an assertive way and protect yourself.
- 2:23Because the truth of this matter is that, you know, these people,
- 2:26these lecherous idiots are going to be there no matter what it is
- 2:29that we want. These people will always be
- 2:32there. Let me just put it that way.
- 2:34The best we can do is to make sure that we ourselves are
- 2:36sorted and that we ourselves are protected.
- 2:40Now before I go into that, in the intro, I was telling you
- 2:43guys how you know, if you have any questions, you can ask them
- 2:46so you can WhatsApp me. I'm not going to give a shout
- 2:48out to people who have actually done so.
- 2:51So shout out to Japev or Segali. You have the same name as one of
- 2:55my family members because you know I'm married to Anisha
- 2:57woman. So Japev or Segali, really cool
- 3:00name. I didn't know Nigeria's bare
- 3:02names like Japev. He reached out to me on
- 3:05LinkedIn. Then there's Maro Okhobia.
- 3:08Hope I'm pronouncing your name correctly.
- 3:10I know one marrow, but he's a northern shop.
- 3:12But your son name Okhobia. Okhobia is like, I don't know,
- 3:15is that Ebo? So Mario Okhobia also reached
- 3:18out to him on LinkedIn. Then there's Elizabeth David, we
- 3:21had a full proper length conversation on LinkedIn.
- 3:24And let's see. Then there's Abdul Aziz Mostafa
- 3:28who also reached out to me on LinkedIn.
- 3:29And then Suleiman Gimbia who reached out to me on WhatsApp.
- 3:35They're all listeners of the show.
- 3:36They reached out and if you know any of them personally, they
- 3:39will testify that they reached out and we didn't have a
- 3:42conversation and hopefully I was able to solve one or two
- 3:45problems for them. Whether it turned out to be a
- 3:49paid consulting engagement or not in the future is besides the
- 3:53point. But at the very least, anybody
- 3:54who reaches out to me, I try to make sure I can deliver some
- 3:59value. Then later on, we can decide
- 4:00about whether you become a paid client or not.
- 4:03So bottom line, do not be afraid to reach out.
- 4:08So like I said today on the show, I'm going to share a
- 4:10conversation that I had with a female mentee on how to handle
- 4:13the sales process. That's on one side, and then on
- 4:15how to handle when idiots approach you and trying to build
- 4:19your career or trying to build your business.
- 4:22Now this is the background. She's a 25 year old, 25 year old
- 4:26sales Rep currently, although she needs that when she was 25.
- 4:29So she's been in this game for a while and I really, really like
- 4:32when women enter into sales early because there are lots of
- 4:35skills that you can learn that are going to tarry well, to
- 4:40ministry, to public service, to entrepreneurship, to whatever.
- 4:45So when women get into this game early, I'm very, very proud of
- 4:48that. Just a pity that some people now
- 4:49think that. Oh, fine girl, small girl, fresh
- 4:52meat. So yes, the 25 year old sales
- 4:57Rep, her background is in oil and gas sales and she's
- 4:59currently building a company with a Co founder and they're
- 5:03going to use AI. They believe that they've found
- 5:05some benefits for AI and how it can be used in government power
- 5:08status. So she was supposed to have a
- 5:12meeting and this is the meeting set up.
- 5:14Basically it's an older gentleman who happens to be a
- 5:17head of department of a ministry.
- 5:19Of course I'm not going to say which ministry it is because and
- 5:23I'm not going to say which ministry it is.
- 5:25So it's an older gentleman who's the head of a ministry, and when
- 5:28she tried to hook up the meeting, her plan for the
- 5:31meeting was to show how this particular AI solution can be
- 5:34good for a government Paris data.
- 5:36Now, this is our first mistake, but I'm going to talk about that
- 5:39in later. A lot of you think the first
- 5:43meeting is to show somebody this is my value.
- 5:46No, the first meeting actually is to try and figure out is this
- 5:50person even interested in the first place?
- 5:53If this person is interested, if there's a need here that your
- 5:57product or service can fulfil, then you can start setting up
- 6:00future meetings. But the first meeting should not
- 6:02even be a physical meeting. It should be a short something
- 6:05on the phone or on Google Meet on Zoom or whatever.
- 6:10And the whole point is just trying to figure out, is this
- 6:12person interested? Is there a vacuum here that my
- 6:14product or my service can meet? So in fact, that's the only
- 6:18mistake that she made actually in setting up the meeting.
- 6:22Then, OK, they agreed on the meeting date and time.
- 6:28Unfortunately it was agreed out of state because this fellow,
- 6:31you know how senior all I put, you know, our senior public
- 6:35officials, you know how senior public officials can be.
- 6:38So because he's out of state and because of work schedules and
- 6:40stuff like that, meeting fixing a time and it was, was a
- 6:44problem. So they fixed a meeting time,
- 6:46but it was going to be out of state.
- 6:47She was going to go and meet him, but then he started asking
- 6:51her to come later in the day and oh, no problem.
- 6:54If it was late, we can stay over.
- 6:55You know, I'll show you the cities, I'll show you this, I'll
- 6:58show you this, blah, blah, blah, blah.
- 7:01But luckily this my mentee, she's a very sharp girl.
- 7:05So she knew that this idiot, she thinks she has seen fresh meat.
- 7:09And so that's one of the things that we spoke about because she
- 7:13thinks, and I agree with her 100%, the white guys start
- 7:17talking this kind of something. No, no, come now, I just, you
- 7:20know, not only business, you know, we'll see the city.
- 7:23I'll show you one or two places, you know, blah, blah, blah.
- 7:25I even want to know more about you.
- 7:27Some, some tell me more about when the when the conversation
- 7:31starts entering that kind, you know, the guy just trying to be
- 7:34stupid or he's just trying his luck.
- 7:36By the way, I'm not against, you know, like you're single.
- 7:40You're a single young man, a salesperson comes you know she's
- 7:42a fine babe yes you're talking business, but then you're also
- 7:45looking for wife material. You know, I'm not saying that
- 7:47these kind of things don't happen, but even at them as men,
- 7:54especially men of a certain age and then in certain relation,
- 7:58certain dynamics, because a salesperson coming to meet you,
- 8:01you know, sorry, 1 moment. OK, sorry about that.
- 8:07I'm back. The the boys were fighting and
- 8:09then, you know, my older boy gave the younger one the
- 8:16basically he used his knee and jabbed the baby in the head.
- 8:20So, you know, it's one of these things when you have boys now,
- 8:23it's always plenty. There's one thing after another.
- 8:27And for those of you who don't have kids yet, you know, these
- 8:30are the very fun things that you have to look forward to, you
- 8:33know, separating fights every now and then.
- 8:35So what was I saying now? So what I was saying is, you
- 8:39know, if you don't have wife and you know, it says girl comes and
- 8:41you know, she's looking kind of fine, I think you might find
- 8:43wifey there. You know, no problem, No
- 8:45problem. I'm all well and good for that.
- 8:47There are lots of relationships that have started that way.
- 8:49In fact, there's one popular Nigerian actor, I can't remember
- 8:53his name, much older Nigerian actor.
- 8:54That's how he and his wife started.
- 8:56She was a salesperson. She came into the office, you
- 8:58know, from their marriage and a wonderful family blossomed.
- 9:01But some of us need to be mindful, those of us who have a
- 9:04certain age and when certain social dynamics that if a young
- 9:07girl is coming, all she's doing, she's looking for a Commission,
- 9:10she's looking for a daily bread. You know, perhaps this is not
- 9:12the best time. Perhaps this is not the best
- 9:14situation. Maybe after the deal is
- 9:17concluded and everything is now on a normal, normal objective
- 9:21level, we can now start to be saying that, oh, babe, you know
- 9:24what, I won't license the first time you entered the office.
- 9:27You know, I've been seeing you. You know, I think you're a
- 9:29franker and everything. I doesn't want to say anything
- 9:31so that you know, I won't disturb this business.
- 9:34But now that this business is out of the way, you know, how
- 9:37far can I see you? May I know you?
- 9:41Can I be your friend? You know, all those
- 9:42conversations. So everybody, most, most my
- 9:46wife. But let's let's do so on a on a
- 9:48very mindful level, on a very correct level, on a very clean
- 9:52level, on a very objective level so that anybody that is hearing
- 9:56the gist afterwards like that Nigerian actor, I can't remember
- 10:01if it was Judico soccer. I can't remember anybody who is
- 10:03handed this. Later we hear and say, oh, you
- 10:07know, endless love, They were meant to be loving story.
- 10:11Not that I do here. And people will now start
- 10:14thinking, ah, how could you she took advantage of her or what
- 10:18were you doing there? And you know, all these stories
- 10:20that come up. So yeah, my opinion, this guy
- 10:24was trying to be opportunistic. Now, this is my own solution to
- 10:26the problem multithreading. Those of you who've been
- 10:31listening to this podcast for a while, you know about
- 10:33multithreading. But for those of you who are
- 10:35listening newly, this is what multithreading means.
- 10:38Multithreading means that when you're trying to break into an
- 10:41account, because remember, this guy is the head of department of
- 10:45a public parastatal. When you're trying to crash into
- 10:48any accounts, when you're trying to penetrate any kind of
- 10:50business. Like let's say I want to go and
- 10:52do training now for, I don't know, Zenith Bank.
- 10:56If I say I'm going to enter into Zenith Bank and I'm only talking
- 10:58into one person, I'm putting myself on a high jump.
- 11:01I'm giving myself very long assignment because there's no
- 11:04way that you can break into one business account by doing only
- 11:08one person. You might be lucky and
- 11:10everything will kick, but through the matter is in order
- 11:14to be successful in breaking into account, we need to know
- 11:16many more people. We need to start courting many
- 11:19more stakeholders. So multi threading is a basic
- 11:22tenant whenever we're trying to break into any account.
- 11:25So if you're trying to do something with a government
- 11:27prior state health in Niger or you're trying to get business
- 11:31with Glow or business with MTN or whatever, you can't say you
- 11:34only know one person or they're only pursuing one person.
- 11:38Nowadays people call that account based marketing ABM.
- 11:41That's the initial. So you can go and do some
- 11:43research, although traditionally you know all that people who
- 11:45just know it as sales because that is good sales.
- 11:48So my solution to how I look, OK, we have jammed and idiots.
- 11:52Now there's nothing we can do. Now we've jammed an idiot.
- 11:55It's just one of those things. So we have to start looking for
- 11:58other stakeholders in the account that we can sell to
- 12:02basic. If we go and one door is closed
- 12:06because the person happens to be an idiot, we have to go and look
- 12:09for other doors to open. And by the way, if you try to
- 12:11open other doors and it looks like the whole department is
- 12:13full of idiots. And one of those people who
- 12:15firmly believes that, look, if this whole department is full of
- 12:18idiots, just walk up us. Just go free it.
- 12:21Nobody's holding your destiny. If you don't do business with
- 12:25this department, then like something shot will click.
- 12:32If this door closes, no problem. Another door will open
- 12:34somewhere. But sure, we should be multi
- 12:38threading. We shouldn't be looking only at
- 12:40one person. We're looking only at one
- 12:42person. We're subject to key man risk.
- 12:44The normal key man risk is this, that the person will lose their
- 12:46job and then that's it. You don't have the connection
- 12:49inside that organization. Again, the person might be
- 12:51transferred. You could be talking to the guy
- 12:53and you know he's not an idiot, but you know, they transfer him
- 12:56to put a court and they transfer him to another civil service and
- 12:59then that's it. You don't know anybody.
- 13:01Again, sometimes it's deaf. Sometimes you're talking to
- 13:04somebody. The person is your guy, but then
- 13:06the person dies. And then sometimes it's changing
- 13:09personal circumstances. The person might be there still
- 13:12in the organization, still holding the position, but they
- 13:16just think that personal priorities or, or organizational
- 13:19priorities or business priorities are different.
- 13:21So that's the usual key man risk.
- 13:24It's just a pity that in this case the key man she faces that
- 13:26the guy happened to be an idiot and the guy is opportunistic.
- 13:30The guy is looking for is looking for fresh meat.
- 13:33Is it good? So we now identified other
- 13:37stakeholders within the organization.
- 13:41So there's a framework where you look at different kinds of users
- 13:45for your product or your ServiceNow.
- 13:49The names are many and depending on who is talking or what
- 13:51framework, they will use different terms.
- 13:53But let me just use one of the terms that I can remember now
- 13:55off the top of my head. Of course, by the way, if we're
- 13:57having a paid consulting session, you know, I will
- 13:59actually will try and remember everything and you know, we'll
- 14:01map it out. I'll figure out, you know, the,
- 14:03the stakeholders we should be targeting.
- 14:05So this category of people that are called management users, a
- 14:10management user is the person who is going to take the
- 14:12decision and say, Oh yeah, boys, girls, go ahead with this is
- 14:16what we're using. So if I'm trying to get into
- 14:18Zenith Bank now, you know, the more orgasm I know the better.
- 14:22If I know MD, branch manager, CEO, if I know all of them, you
- 14:27know, the chances that one of them will say, well, this is
- 14:30what we're doing, go ahead. The chances, the chances will
- 14:33increase. That is the management user,
- 14:36then the financial user is the person who is going to authorize
- 14:38the payment. So if I know somebody in
- 14:41accounts, if I know somebody in procurement, you know, you'll be
- 14:44good. It will help.
- 14:45Because sometimes our guy says, well, let's go ahead is what
- 14:48we're doing. But I may be on the way in.
- 14:50You quarreled with the head of accounting or with the head of
- 14:54procurement, you know down his problem because our guy will say
- 14:56let's go ahead, but because the head of finance doesn't like you
- 15:00or maybe he has his own person if he will now start causing
- 15:03some small hiccup. So we need to know people who
- 15:07are financial users. Then there's also the technical
- 15:11user. The technical user is the desk
- 15:13officer or the person who actually has to use your product
- 15:15or your service. And in this case, they're trying
- 15:18to see how AI can be used to improve government power status
- 15:22in Nigeria. So they definitely need to know
- 15:24people who are IT, especially since the application that
- 15:29they're working on has to be integrated into the government
- 15:31software. So they definitely you
- 15:33definitely have to know somebody in IT department.
- 15:36So this is an example about how some of you when you're trying
- 15:40to break into an organization, you're not quite thinking
- 15:42clearly. You know somebody there who is
- 15:44your Popsy's friend or your mumsy's classmates, or you will
- 15:47go to church together or you were in the same mosque.
- 15:50And because that you think you have an insight into the
- 15:52organization, you know, you don't really have an insight
- 15:55into the organization yet, you will face serious scheme and
- 15:59risk. We need to multi thread, we need
- 16:02to look for other stakeholders related to this scenario,
- 16:08related to this product. So in her own case, DG's office,
- 16:12you suppose get connection inside there.
- 16:14It doesn't mean you have DG's phone number direct, but at
- 16:17least if you're able to know a desk officer in DG's office,
- 16:20maybe able to figure out who DG's PA is or something.
- 16:25That kind of connection, you know, you know, go bad.
- 16:27It will be good. IT department if you know one or
- 16:31two people will be good procurement and finance.
- 16:34If you get one or two connections, you know, no go
- 16:36bad. So that is where you're supposed
- 16:39to be thinking about these things and you don't just get
- 16:41trapped talking to only HOD. Then also, since we are trying
- 16:49to target a government parastatal and the government
- 16:53parastatal has regulatory oversight over private citizens,
- 16:58then if also you have some people, some citizens, you're
- 17:02connected to some and people who have used your product and they
- 17:05have testimonials, that will also be good because you'll be
- 17:07good. If you're going to Ministry of
- 17:09Finance, this is your fancy idea, this is your fancy idea,
- 17:11This is how this kind of thing will work.
- 17:13And by the way, we did pilot program for 20 communities in
- 17:19Abuja Municipal Council and another 5 communities on Lagos
- 17:23mainland and these were the results.
- 17:24You know that kind of thing can help your sales process.
- 17:28So these are the kind of things you should be thinking about.
- 17:30But please do not wake up one day and find out that you are
- 17:33stuck talking to only one person.
- 17:37It's a recipe for disaster. But like I said, it can work.
- 17:41There are people who they came into the organization, they only
- 17:44know one person and they worked out with a millionaire contract.
- 17:48It does happen, but increase your odds.
- 17:50Make sure that you're talking to multiple people now between me
- 17:54and my mentee, this is what we actually decided by the time we
- 17:56looked at the level of work. I was supposed to go into this
- 17:59thing especially on the IT side because she said ah, these
- 18:03people IT department in in public power status.
- 18:09I guess it be those places are just messy.
- 18:12People are just like a Daisy cow, as in people are just
- 18:15anyhow. Anyhow, so we decided and it
- 18:19made more sense that there are some private institutions that
- 18:23deal in these sorts of things. So it will be easier to enter
- 18:26private institutions instead of entering ministry.
- 18:29And for me, it made perfect sense.
- 18:31It made perfect sense, especially since number one with
- 18:34my sidestep the idiot, because I'm never comfortable when any
- 18:39of my people have to go in for a meeting with an idiot with a
- 18:42Leech who is thinking that he has seen fresh meat.
- 18:46Funny enough, whenever I'm talking with young girls,
- 18:48they're always very confident that, oh, it's normal, you know,
- 18:51I can handle it, you know, blah, blah, blah.
- 18:54Well, it's good to be anyway for me, Sha.
- 19:01For me, it's not something I'm I'm comfortable with.
- 19:04You know, if you have a choice between meeting with an idiot
- 19:06and no meeting, no opinion, Sha, I'd rather no meeting with the
- 19:09idiot, you know, move on. So even though we figured it
- 19:13would be better to go into private institutions, we still
- 19:16had to discuss this meeting with the unethical departmental head
- 19:20because the meeting has been fixed.
- 19:22The session was going to discuss with the business partner.
- 19:24And, you know, with our business partner, they will know whether
- 19:27they will now go ahead. And I said, OK, no problem.
- 19:28But as you're deliberating, these are some things that you
- 19:30have to be thinking about. And I tried to give her my
- 19:32strongest recommendations and strongest guard rails just in
- 19:36case they're going to be going in for this meeting.
- 19:40So First off, I had to tell my man T that look, realize that
- 19:42you're no longer a small girl because she thinks of herself as
- 19:44a small girl. So I had to tell her you're a
- 19:47woman now. You cannot afford to think of
- 19:50yourself as a small girl. And I'm talking to women here.
- 19:53Please. I'm not being harsh on women.
- 19:54There are times when I abuse boys and I tell them what needs
- 19:57to be heard. I'm now telling young girls, no,
- 20:00you're 18192025. You've always thought of
- 20:02yourself as daddy's Princess. You know, you're a small girl.
- 20:05You're cutie, you're demure, you're.
- 20:07No, no, no. All of that crap has to stop.
- 20:10You're not a small girl, a small girl anymore.
- 20:12You are a woman now. You are a grown woman.
- 20:16You need to think of yourself as a woman because when you think
- 20:18of yourself as a small girl, these men, they'll treat you as
- 20:22a small girl. Maybe I shouldn't be talking
- 20:24like this on the podcast. I'm just being frank here
- 20:27because you'll have friends, we'll have Co workers, you know,
- 20:29we, I'm just saying it as it is. If you see yourself as a small
- 20:34girl, these men, they'll treat you as a small girl.
- 20:37You know that you're a grown woman.
- 20:42Think of yourself as as a grown woman.
- 20:44Walk into spaces knowing that you're a ground you're a grown
- 20:48woman. You're not a small girl anymore.
- 20:50You're not a Princess. You're not cutsie, you're not
- 20:52nothing. You're a woman.
- 20:54Know it on it. It affects the way that you
- 21:00carry your. Please, nobody should send me a
- 21:02message. I say I'm doing victim blaming.
- 21:03I'm not doing victim blaming here.
- 21:05I'm just talking to you as if you're my sister, as if you're
- 21:10my daughter. I'm not saying you are doing
- 21:11something wrong that is causing men to treat you somehow.
- 21:14No, I'm just being real here. It's like me, if I head into a
- 21:20situation, a meeting, feeling as if, or I mean, nobody or nobody
- 21:28knows my family. Oh, I'm thief.
- 21:31My tribe is not really quite known.
- 21:32Oh, my surname, my son name, no carry weight.
- 21:35Oh, I don't have backing. It will affect the way that I'm
- 21:38handling myself in meetings. But luckily I grew up with a
- 21:43proud man as my father and a proud woman as my mother.
- 21:48So I grew up thinking that my name meant something.
- 21:50I want to step into a place. And I say, oh, Mr. Yeti for so
- 21:53so so so I'm here for the 12:00. I say it like my name means
- 21:58something because I grew up with proud parents.
- 21:59And quite honestly, I thought we was something when we're little
- 22:03was long till I grew up. And I started saying that, oh,
- 22:05OK, OK, my parents are proud. But it's not as if we, you
- 22:09understand, it's not as if we gather, it's not as if we have
- 22:12money. So it's the same for guys and
- 22:15for girls. I say my name like it means
- 22:18something because I watched my mom and my dad say their name
- 22:23like it meant something. So it's also the same thing.
- 22:25You're not a small girl. Nobody should accuse me of
- 22:27victim shaming, please. And even if you accuse me of
- 22:31victim shaming, I don't care for my younger sisters and my
- 22:36cousins. And if God will bless us and I
- 22:38have a daughter, I will talk to her like I'm saying it now #2 I
- 22:44told her, talk openly. We do not handle these things in
- 22:48the quiet when we're handling these things in the quiet.
- 22:51Secret, secret. It is there that mistakes
- 22:53happened and it is there that we've come overpowered.
- 22:55We talk about these things openly.
- 22:57So just as you and me are talking, go and be talking with
- 22:59your big aunties. Talk to mumsy, talk to family
- 23:03members. Since this guy has not said
- 23:06anything, it's difficult for you to now use your mouth and say
- 23:09something, because after all, the guy has not really said
- 23:12anything or done anything. But you can start having small,
- 23:15small conversations. Oh, Auntie, oh, admire your
- 23:18career in the civil service, in the whatever, whatever,
- 23:20whatever. Auntie, I'm just curious, did
- 23:22you ever have to face one or two kind of situations?
- 23:25How did you deal with this thing in your career and in business?
- 23:28And then just put it out there and hear what she has to say.
- 23:32Unfortunately, like I told my mentee, you hear some women that
- 23:34won't have anything helpful to say.
- 23:36I'm really, really sorry. It is just a it's just a feature
- 23:41of the the environment that we we've we've grown up in because
- 23:45even for us, like boys there, some of us, not me, but all my
- 23:50classmates, you know, who are abused when we were when we're
- 23:54little. And by the time they spoke about
- 23:56it, you know, some people will say that you're lucky that you
- 24:01are there and you are this virgin by this woman, by this
- 24:03woman. You are lucky.
- 24:07Yeah. So you're just a pity in this
- 24:08part of the world. We don't have an understanding
- 24:10that just like girls are subject to sexual abuse and emotional
- 24:16abuse and all forms of abuse, that boy is also subject to that
- 24:19thing as well in this part of the world, sometimes
- 24:20unfortunately seen as Rep. Now if you're a 10 year old boy
- 24:25and a 15 year old girl called you aside and I said, hey, come
- 24:28here. You know, it's a thing of Rep
- 24:29that I see the babe self that you you're lucky anyway.
- 24:33So you might have some things that are not not palatable.
- 24:40I'm sorry, but still we have to talk about these things.
- 24:43Eventually you will talk to someone who will say, my dear,
- 24:47is something going on, Tell me what is going on and then she'll
- 24:51give you advice. Or even if she doesn't ask, she
- 24:54might tell you about how she dealt with these sorts of things
- 24:56and it'll be advice for how you're supposed to go.
- 24:59Go on going forward. Then pepper spray.
- 25:03Unfortunately in Niger, at least in Abuja, I know some sales
- 25:07associates, especially in real estate space, you know they have
- 25:11it sometimes. I'm sorry, it's just the world
- 25:14we live in. Female salespeople, you just
- 25:18have your pepper spray because we're meeting strangers all the
- 25:20time. It applies both boys and girls,
- 25:24but you know our own for boys, the you know, the dangers are
- 25:28different. Like I know somebody who was
- 25:29doing both business and I noticed that under his car he
- 25:34kept this, this iron I used to change tire.
- 25:37I said why do you leave this thing here supposed to be in the
- 25:39boot. He said, my brother, if I tell
- 25:41you the things that we see in this Abuja, that you won't
- 25:43believe that I need this thing here because there are some mad
- 25:46people and I need to defend myself.
- 25:47I said are you serious? He said yes.
- 25:50He started giving me gist, kind of gist that I cannot repeat
- 25:53here on the podcast, you know, but whether it's the iron that
- 25:59used to change tire or whether it's pepper spray, you guys have
- 26:02something because I'm meeting strangers all the time.
- 26:05Then I also told her no meetings in private residences, office or
- 26:11public areas, especially for the first meeting.
- 26:14Eventually I go to people's houses.
- 26:17It's rare for people to come to my own house.
- 26:19But you know, by the time I'm going to your house, you know,
- 26:20you and me, we're cool. We've related for a while.
- 26:26So that first meeting, office, public place, not in private
- 26:32residences. Then I also spoke about a set of
- 26:36language. This is this whole thing about
- 26:38me saying that, you know, a small girl again, because
- 26:40there's a way that a small girl will handle the situation where
- 26:45somebody is trying to say something or somebody's trying
- 26:49to be informal. If I can put it that way,
- 26:55there's a way that a small girl will handle it.
- 26:57There's a way that the grown woman will handle it.
- 26:59So assertive language, whenever you feel that your judgment is
- 27:03triggered, assertive language. So by talking to your aunties
- 27:11and talking to other people, you'll be able to come up with
- 27:13words and phrases that suit you. But for me, I have no problem
- 27:19with saying things like I'm uncomfortable with this, this,
- 27:21this. We have to be assertive about
- 27:24some of these things. I remember, I think I was maybe
- 27:29like 2-3 years into my wedding photography career and then
- 27:32somebody came up. I was like, oh, this thing is
- 27:34going down, it's going to be Hilton Hotel, my office is doing
- 27:38this thing, blah, blah, blah. The person was like the national
- 27:40marketing manager and of course I was, I was happy.
- 27:42I was like, hey, cool, I'm down. So how much are we talking here?
- 27:48And the guys, OK, no problem. This is how much it is, but this
- 27:51is how much you will put on the invoice and this is how much
- 27:54we'll give you. I know how to tell the guy that,
- 27:56look, I'm honored and you know, I, I love this.
- 27:59I respect you. Thank you.
- 28:00You're my guy for bringing this up.
- 28:02But I am uncomfortable with because for me what I put on the
- 28:07invoice is what I put on the invoice.
- 28:09I don't get into all those arranged, all those arrangements
- 28:12that what I should put on the invoice is, you know, 1.2, but
- 28:17what will be disposed is 5.2 or something like that.
- 28:20Yeah, I don't play those games. My own is I'll try and be above
- 28:25board as possible and I'll put what it is and I'm going to put,
- 28:29if you're saying that me, I should square you something, no
- 28:32problem. That's between you and me, but
- 28:35I'm not going to go on record and start putting things on
- 28:37paper that you know. So me, I say, you know, straight
- 28:41up, I say I am uncomfortable with, I say this is against my
- 28:46personal ethics or I say my business partners and I prefer
- 28:50to conduct business on the on the different terms.
- 28:53Then I was in partnership with my brother before then I was in
- 28:56partnership with my brother-in-law.
- 28:57So sometimes let's use them as excuse, you know, if I didn't
- 29:00want to come out and say, you know, it's me, I will now lie
- 29:03and says, you know, it's my brother, or this is unethical
- 29:08behavior or, you know, this is a blessing and professional
- 29:14standards or whatever. See, look, use your own words.
- 29:17But the main thing shy is we have to use assertive language
- 29:20when these things come up, when somebody's trying to get
- 29:22familiar or ask for young men, when somebody's trying to get
- 29:26you to write a on the invoice. But the real situation is, you
- 29:31know, is actually B + 3 if you can read in between the lines,
- 29:35reading between the lines and the code word is I'm trying to
- 29:37say. So we have to be assertive.
- 29:42One of the reasons why we have to be assertive is because we
- 29:44can't think. We can't keep letting things be
- 29:46insinuated because like this, you know, right now this guy has
- 29:48not said anything. But if we use assertive
- 29:51language, Sir, I am not comfortable with or it is
- 29:54against my personal ethics or my business partner and I conduct
- 29:58business differently or whatever, at least we'll come
- 30:00out into open. If there was a confusion, let
- 30:02the guy now say, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you are taking
- 30:05things that way. Well, I'm really, really, really
- 30:07strongly sorry. I met no insult.
- 30:10I meant no whatever. At least let the thing come out.
- 30:14I know sometimes it's difficult to talk about these things
- 30:16because you now come and look like a fool.
- 30:18I've been in that situation where although this was
- 30:20university levels, you know, I thought, I thought the baby was
- 30:23feeling me. I thought we were feeling each
- 30:25other. And you know, apparently I spoke
- 30:28too soon. Next thing she was going on
- 30:29telling people that I'm immature, I'm not a big boy, I'm
- 30:32not a grown man and this and this and that and that.
- 30:34So I understand sometimes you talk too soon and you now look
- 30:36like an idiot. But in this situation,
- 30:40considering the risk that we are facing, if you are in the room
- 30:44with a possible beach, let let these things come out into open.
- 30:49Let it not be. He said, they said somebody's
- 30:52insinuating, you know, come out and say something politely,
- 30:55respectively, respectfully and assertively.
- 30:59Let him now come out clearly and said, oh, you misunderstood.
- 31:01If you misunderstood now, OK, you to apologize and then you
- 31:05can, you can propose terms for working together that will not
- 31:08lead to any confusion. Then also recommended attend the
- 31:13meeting with your friend. You tell that friend that is
- 31:17sorry. You tell this person that you're
- 31:19coming for the meeting with a business associate.
- 31:21That's why you tell them. You will tell them I'm coming
- 31:23with my friend for security. You just say I'm coming with a
- 31:26business associate. The reason why I should come
- 31:28with a business associate is because there's security in
- 31:31numbers. It is only very skilled
- 31:34predators who will look at you. Maybe you came with your friend.
- 31:37It's only a very skilled predator who say ah correct 2
- 31:40babes mom Bush meets. The average predator is not when
- 31:45you try and tackle 2 of you at the same time.
- 31:47So there's security in numbers. Then I also now said OK good,
- 31:54the meeting has been decided. So what we are going to do is
- 31:56we're going to have a pre meeting call, a pre meeting
- 31:59conference, a pre meeting group call, a pre meeting WhatsApp
- 32:03call, pre meeting, Zoom call, pre meeting, something with your
- 32:07business partner in the loop. When you do this kind of thing,
- 32:13everything now is beginning to seem official, is now beginning
- 32:16to seem in the open. In the open.
- 32:17This is not you, is no longer him talking with you in
- 32:24questionable circumstances is now coming out, out, out.
- 32:28And then for the pre meeting call.
- 32:32This was the basic framework that I recommended to her, the
- 32:35same framework that I recommend to all of you guys listening.
- 32:38It's always starts out with greeting, then you state your
- 32:41intention, then you ask some questions, then you make a
- 32:47proposal, and then you close. That is, you get the person to
- 32:50take action again. The simple framework is you
- 32:54start with the appropriate greeting, after that you state
- 32:57your intentions, then you ask some questions, then you give
- 33:01your proposal and then you close.
- 33:05So for the greeting, ask my mentee now when you're talking
- 33:08to this guy, what do you say? She said I call him Sir and I
- 33:11said very good. Why do you call him Sir?
- 33:13She said to remind him no. I said hey, very good.
- 33:17You call him Sir. You have to politely remain
- 33:19remind this idiot this good. You have to remind him of his
- 33:22station in life. Unfortunately, not everybody
- 33:25takes the hint. It was one of my friends in
- 33:28university who for house a very big contract with the school,
- 33:33she used to supply samples. What do you call these samples?
- 33:36Like when you make skeletons and things like that?
- 33:38Because her father was a former zoologist or something, I can't
- 33:42remember that profession. And they used to create a
- 33:46samples and sell to sell to schools.
- 33:52So she went for a meeting, everything was cool, everything
- 33:55was OK. And they were laughing.
- 33:57Everybody was feeling cool. And then the mouse went up to
- 33:59get something and then she had the door lock back and she was
- 34:03giving me this story. She said she doesn't know what
- 34:05over overcame her, fell on her knees and started crying and
- 34:08weeping immediately. And she said, Sir, think of me
- 34:11as your daughter, Sir, that I am a child to you, Sir.
- 34:16You are a daddy to us, Sir. I'm just a small girl trying to
- 34:21help me and my family, Sir. And she said by the time she was
- 34:24done, that he was thoroughly embarrassed.
- 34:26He locked the door, He unlocked the door.
- 34:28He apologized. The the deal went on as.
- 34:32And you know, from then on there was no laughing, no joking, no
- 34:34nothing, nothing, nothing, No hanky panky.
- 34:39So yes, greeting you. Will call him Sir.
- 34:42You will politely remind him of his station.
- 34:46Let him let it get into his. Head that he should stop this
- 34:49goat like behaviour. You don't be a goat, you don't
- 34:51just eat anything then intention.
- 34:57So good afternoon Sir. Remember this is a pre meeting
- 35:01call. Good afternoon Sir.
- 35:03The reason why I'm calling is concerning our meeting for XYZ
- 35:07date. I want us to discuss a few
- 35:10things beforehand so that when I come over there, we can have a
- 35:13productive conversation for us and our organization.
- 35:16Sir, is it OK if I ask you some questions?
- 35:20Of course you will say yes. If he's trying to weave it, then
- 35:24he's looking more like he's the idiot that I suspect he is.
- 35:30Sorry. Well, those of you.
- 35:31Who are public officials or who are related to public officials?
- 35:34I'm not saying every single head of department is an idiot.
- 35:38I'm just saying this particular guy who he looks like he's
- 35:41trying to eat fresh meat, I'm just saying him in particular
- 35:44he's an idiot. So I'm not saying all Hods are
- 35:46idiots, so please don't miscoat me.
- 35:50Then. The questions that you now ask
- 35:51when he says is OK is you now tell him I am coming with XYZ,
- 35:55my business associate. So I forgot to tell you before
- 35:59now, are you OK with that? And hear what he has to say If
- 36:04he's beginning to forge on this thing, we now know that.
- 36:07OK, maybe this cause for alarm. You will also ask him.
- 36:12Sir, will you be inviting anyone else from your own organization?
- 36:18Because of course, we'll be nice to know.
- 36:20And then he also is a hint, you know, as well, you know, the
- 36:23nature of this meeting that you're going for, you know, as
- 36:25if you're a small girl who is going in for a meeting that
- 36:29might overrun. And no, no, no.
- 36:32Well, we're going to be grown as women in this situation.
- 36:36We're going to be grown. I handle this thing very very
- 36:38assertively. In my own opinion, if the.
- 36:41Guy is trying to avoid some of these things.
- 36:44You know, he's not calling anybody else.
- 36:45You, why are you bringing somebody else?
- 36:47Don't you have the authority to negotiate on your own behalf?
- 36:49I thought you were a grown woman.
- 36:50And we can talk about this. By the time all these things
- 36:52start entering, you know, I'm thinking that or more.
- 36:55Something's not adding up. Then you'll also ask another
- 36:58question. When we have this meeting, if
- 37:01we're able to achieve XYZ, do you think it will be reasonable
- 37:05for you to introduce me to other stakeholders so we can explore
- 37:08this solution? The more please use your own
- 37:11words by the way. And you also ask which other
- 37:15people should those be? Because remember what I said at
- 37:18the beginning, right now we are single threading and it's a
- 37:20problem. We need to multi thread.
- 37:23We need to start getting a sense of which other stakeholders need
- 37:26to be on board so that we can close this deal also because the
- 37:29security numbers. He's going to introduce me to 5.
- 37:34Or six other people, you know the security numbers.
- 37:36But like I said, if it turns out that all the people that
- 37:38introduce you introduce you to our goats as well, please leave
- 37:42of this situation. Because nobody is in charge.
- 37:46Of your destiny. I repeat please.
- 37:49Young ladies, nobody is in charge of your destiny.
- 37:53If it turns out that this organization is full of goats,
- 37:55full of idiots, please leave. You will survive somehow.
- 38:01I'm currently working on something now.
- 38:02The lady is a former model. She left the modeling industry
- 38:06precisely because of all these problems.
- 38:08At some point she was like what the hell, I cannot stay in this
- 38:11industry anymore and she left. I'm not saying that this is what
- 38:15all models have to deal with. I'm just saying that the only
- 38:18model that I know who tried and gave the career some push, that
- 38:22was her own experience and she said I am done and she left.
- 38:28And she has been able to make a. Living, doing other things.
- 38:31She currently has an NGO that is devoted to all these sorts of
- 38:35issues. Say no, Say no to rape, you
- 38:38know, all these sorts of things. That's her thing, precisely
- 38:41because of what she has lived. And her and her husband they.
- 38:45Are fine. Her children are currently in
- 38:47university. They have been good and God,
- 38:51God, and their effort has carried them through the decades
- 38:54since when she tried our supermodelling career up until
- 38:56now. Funny enough, her.
- 39:00Baby daughter also wants to be a model.
- 39:01But anyway, that's a conversation for another, you
- 39:03know, they come from a very fine family, all of them tall skin,
- 39:06like a balum or slim, you know, and mainly that's the
- 39:11conversation that do sort out themselves.
- 39:13So I'm just trying to say that look, nobody owns your destiny.
- 39:15Please, young ladies, nobody is holding your destiny.
- 39:18Don't feel as if if you don't get this deal that you are, you
- 39:21are done for. Then after asking all these.
- 39:25Questions you will the proposal stage now.
- 39:28So OK if you're good at everything.
- 39:29So we'll see at XYZ for ABC time.
- 39:33Once you're agreed, you will now say OK.
- 39:35Sir, I will ping you a reminder when me and my associate are on
- 39:40the way. Let him know me and my business
- 39:44associate will be on the way then.
- 39:47You go for that meeting, although left to me, Shah.
- 39:51Like I said, if you think we're dealing with an idiot, I rather
- 39:55you not take that meeting. That is just me.
- 39:57So I'm talking to my small cousins, this kind of thing.
- 40:01My honest opinion is, you know, just free this thing.
- 40:04It's not by force. Then the last tip I give to.
- 40:08Her is this and this one I'm going to give to all of you when
- 40:12you're approaching this kind of conversation, regardless of
- 40:15whether they're idiots or not. You.
- 40:19Have to come correct and you have to start.
- 40:25How I put it, you have to. Demonstrate value or start
- 40:28showing value before the meeting.
- 40:30And in this case, one way that you could have done that was to
- 40:33have led with. Other Nigerian parastate.
- 40:37Parastatals have started using similar AI solutions because
- 40:42yes, it is currently happening. I just want to get into details
- 40:44and say exactly what is that they're working on in this case.
- 40:47Get reports, get newspaper printing, get case studies, get
- 40:51whatever to show because it's possible that you're trying to
- 40:54talk that she's talking to this organization, but this
- 40:57organization has not seriously considered whether AI can work
- 41:01in this particular government parastatal.
- 41:04I know some of you are listening to the podcast.
- 41:05You're laughing now you're saying that me, I'm living in a
- 41:08dream cloud and that my mentee is living in a dream cloud that
- 41:11we think Nigerian parastatals are going to be integrating AI
- 41:14in any meaningful fashion. Well, I.
- 41:19Have bad. News for you, I'll be good news
- 41:21for you. There are some organizations,
- 41:23there are some parastatals that have started using these things
- 41:26in different sectors. So it's.
- 41:28Just a matter of getting. All these things, I'm bringing
- 41:31them there. It will help to challenge the
- 41:34paradigm in case these people in this particular government
- 41:37parastatal have not started thinking how can we use AI.
- 41:41Apart from that, they are specific government regulators
- 41:43that have started pushing for policies for adopting AI in
- 41:47different kinds of contexts in Nigeria.
- 41:49So the conversation is happening.
- 41:51So you're going to be able to have, you'll be able to have a
- 41:53stronger meeting if you can get there.
- 41:55Saying that your sister agencies, I think you say your
- 42:03sister agencies. So like if you're talking to
- 42:05somebody in Ministry of Finance and somebody in Ministry of
- 42:08Commerce has done something, you know, you can say those are
- 42:10sister agencies. You can say look your sister
- 42:13agency is already using tools such as XYZ.
- 42:17In your own department. Does it feel like this is a
- 42:20priority right now? And then keep quiet and you have
- 42:21what it is. You hear what it is that they
- 42:23have to say. But either way, you're coming
- 42:27and. You're.
- 42:28Challenging the paradigm that they have, you're trying to wake
- 42:32them up. You're showing yourself to be a
- 42:34valuable resource and that you're educated.
- 42:37But anyway, the overall big. Mistake basically is never book
- 42:42a meeting to show someone the value of your solution.
- 42:45No, don't say you're fixing a meeting to show somebody.
- 42:49This is why my thing is good. The first interaction should be
- 42:55on the phone or should be on Zoom or should be on WhatsApp.
- 42:59And the goal of that first interaction is to see whether
- 43:01these people are facing any problem that your product or
- 43:05your service can help with. If they are interested now, by
- 43:10the time you mentioned a price range, they are not scared, then
- 43:13go ahead and schedule a meeting when we'll talk about that in
- 43:17other episodes. Or you can just check all the
- 43:20episodes that I did around qualification and discovery.
- 43:27Just search my podcast on YouTube.
- 43:30Just type in Tavi Shima podcast qualification discovery,
- 43:37conversation framework, you know, stuff like that.
- 43:40Type it on YouTube. I have over 1100 episodes and
- 43:45the episodes that I have made should come up and you learn
- 43:48some more about that. Oh, sorry, one moment.
- 43:50Let me just check the boys. Let me sure that nobody has drop
- 43:53kick another person. OK, I'm back and I have.
- 43:58Confirmed my boys have not killed themselves yet.
- 44:02So that's it today on the show. That's all.
- 44:05Remember, if you have any sales and marketing questions, then
- 44:07bring them to me. You can call, you can SMS or
- 44:10WhatsApp me on 08064662140. Thank you very much for your
- 44:16time and attention. I'll catch you, dear listener,
- 44:17at the next episode. And apologies if you know I used
- 44:21language that was too colorful or inappropriate.
- 44:25It's just that this is serious matter and I'm trying to treat
- 44:28this matter realistically and give it the level of, I don't
- 44:34know what would I say, attention or frankness or whatever that it
- 44:38deserves. Because for those of us who are
- 44:40customer facing, we're always chasing one or two deals.
- 44:44You know, there's a couple of things we face, you know,
- 44:46particularly women who are facing certain kinds of
- 44:49vulnerabilities. So please, let's keep educating
- 44:52ourselves. Let's learn how to protect
- 44:54ourselves and let's learn how to handle these things well,
- 44:57because there will always be idiots, you know, our own choice
- 45:00to make sure that we can protect ourselves.
- 45:02And then for those of us men who happen to be in positions of all
- 45:09I put in now, you know, somebody's chasing something and
- 45:12you're the one that seems to be holding the keys.
- 45:15You know, I didn't say you should not find wife or they
- 45:17shouldn't have side chick or they shouldn't find baby.
- 45:20But let's realize that there's ways that we can handle this
- 45:25thing nicely and professionally and everybody will be happy.
- 45:29So just like I can't remember if he's Judico so call, but whoever
- 45:32it is the the Nigerian actor who does how he met his wife that
- 45:36was a sales was a sales girl. You know, there are some people
- 45:40too that they are looking for husband and they actually think
- 45:43you're cute and actually think, you know, everything is pure.
- 45:47So that's some people that are ready and that's some people
- 45:49that are willing. You know, it doesn't always have
- 45:51to be that you're trying to pull something up on someone or just
- 45:55trying to strong arm someone. Let's keep everything nice,
- 45:58official professional, you know, and then afterwards you shoot
- 46:02your shot. If she thinks you're cute, no
- 46:04problem, all is well and good. You will be enjoying yourself.
- 46:08No, if she doesn't think. You're OK and Oh well, on to the
- 46:15next one. You know, for first you don't
- 46:16succeed, you know, you dust yourself off and try again.
- 46:18And that's what Aliyah said now. So oh, OK, bad.
- 46:21Example because. R Kelly actually was.
- 46:25Anyway, let me just end it here so I'll catch you guys in the
- 46:27next episode.