Latest / Your Enriched Self / 229. Invisible Chains II

Transcript

229. Invisible Chains II · Your Enriched Self

0:00
Speaker 1: If I were to take a survey and ask you,
0:03
Speaker 1: what are two things that you would not want to
0:06
Speaker 1: leave home without? Or if you left home without it,
0:09
Speaker 1: you would travel back home to get it. One guest
0:12
Speaker 1: would be your ID, and the other guests would be
0:15
Speaker 1: your cell phone. Now, when you think about ID, the
0:18
Speaker 1: information on your ID or your driver's license, state identification,
0:23
Speaker 1: whatever it might be, passport, you have your data, birth,
0:27
Speaker 1: you have your address, You have information about your height
0:34
Speaker 1: and weight, eye color, lots of information about your external
0:42
Speaker 1: I would say the one thing that I don't think
0:47
Speaker 1: we've spent enough time on is the identity, and that's
0:54
Speaker 1: the internal that part of who we are gets over
1:00
Speaker 1: look by all the external things that we look like
1:02
Speaker 1: or we're supposed to look like. I really believe that
1:07
Speaker 1: it's important to have this right now. This is such
1:09
Speaker 1: a critical time in our humanity that knowing who we are,
1:15
Speaker 1: having identity is very important because the level and the
1:22
Speaker 1: comparison traps and everything that's out there right now can
1:27
Speaker 1: suck you in and pull you, pull every bit of
1:32
Speaker 1: life out of you. I don't know when the comparison
1:35
Speaker 1: trap began, but I would say it began at a
1:38
Speaker 1: very young age, as we were looking around for similarities
1:42
Speaker 1: as opposed to appreciating differences. We weren't really taught to
1:48
Speaker 1: look for people with different ideologies, maybe not that young,
1:52
Speaker 1: but different looks and feels, because it meant that it
1:56
Speaker 1: would challenge our norm Depending on how you were reared
2:00
Speaker 1: and the school you went to, differences were not celebrated,
2:06
Speaker 1: and so we fell into this thing of looking at
2:08
Speaker 1: each other and trying to find what makes us similar
2:12
Speaker 1: and not understanding why we're different or how we can
2:15
Speaker 1: be different and coexist. I really want to help us
2:19
Speaker 1: get free a little bit today. I feel like we've
2:21
Speaker 1: been locked down into this and trapped into this space
2:25
Speaker 1: of comparison. I heard a quote and it, gosh, it's
2:30
Speaker 1: such a good quote. I'm not sure who the person
2:35
Speaker 1: is responsible for this quote. I think Einstein has been
2:38
Speaker 1: given credit for it. But the quote is everybody is
2:43
Speaker 1: a genius. But if you judge a fish by its
2:47
Speaker 1: ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole
2:52
Speaker 1: life believing that it is stupid. That makes me wonder
2:58
Speaker 1: how many people have I judged and how many times
3:02
Speaker 1: have I judged myself in the same light. Friends from
3:15
Speaker 1: all across the globe and Welcome to the Your Retail Podcast.
3:20
Speaker 1: I am your host, my Day Noir. I am a
3:22
Speaker 1: mindset coach and your mindset advocate, and I just want
3:27
Speaker 1: to start off by allowing you a moment to take
3:32
Speaker 1: a deep breath. That's one. Let's do two more. That's two,
3:45
Speaker 1: Let's do one last one. You know, I know that
3:52
Speaker 1: was uncomfortable. I know we start the podcast singing the
3:55
Speaker 1: same tunes. But every once in a while we have
3:59
Speaker 1: to buck the system. We have to change things up
4:01
Speaker 1: a bit so that we can see things differently. And
4:05
Speaker 1: so I want to welcome you to this podcast. And
4:07
Speaker 1: that's what this environment, this platform I created is all about.
4:11
Speaker 1: I want to curate a space where you can truly
4:15
Speaker 1: have self care, you can truly have soul care. We
4:18
Speaker 1: can have these conversations, we can change up the conversations,
4:22
Speaker 1: whatever it takes, so that you can become more of
4:26
Speaker 1: your enrich self. Because I know if you're listening to
4:28
Speaker 1: this podcast, whether you're new here, which by the way,
4:30
Speaker 1: welcome to you. And if you're a repeat listener, I'm
4:33
Speaker 1: grateful for you. I'm grateful that you have invested each
4:37
Speaker 1: and every week for one hundred and eight weeks into
4:41
Speaker 1: this environment and this space. So if you're listening, you're
4:44
Speaker 1: listening for a reason. You want to be and show
4:47
Speaker 1: up as the best version of yourself in the world.
4:49
Speaker 1: And I already know that about you. So you're in
4:51
Speaker 1: the right place. That's the space, and that's the place
4:54
Speaker 1: you need to be before we get into this week's episode.
4:57
Speaker 1: If you know, you know, I always may a deposit
5:01
Speaker 1: into what I call the bank of you. You are
5:04
Speaker 1: not going to be able to make a withdrawal when
5:08
Speaker 1: life throws you lemons, or life throws darts at you,
5:12
Speaker 1: or whatever life comes at you with You are gonna
5:17
Speaker 1: need a place to make a withdrawal. And if you're
5:19
Speaker 1: not making daily deposits into your life, you're gonna be
5:23
Speaker 1: bankrupt and it's not gonna look pretty out there. So
5:27
Speaker 1: that's why I make an intentional statement each week so
5:31
Speaker 1: that I can make a deposit in the bank of you,
5:34
Speaker 1: and I do so by way of affirmations. Affirmations are
5:39
Speaker 1: a great way to start your day and to command
5:44
Speaker 1: your mourning. And this week's command your morning affirmation is
5:51
Speaker 1: I trust in my ability to overcome any obstacle that
5:56
Speaker 1: comes my way. I trust in my ability to overcome
6:02
Speaker 1: any obstacle that comes my way. I trust in my
6:07
Speaker 1: ability to overcome any obstacle that comes my way. Now,
6:16
Speaker 1: let's get ready for this week's episode of the Your
6:19
Speaker 1: Enriched Self podcast. Okay, I'm dedicating this episode to anyone
6:30
Speaker 1: who has felt stuck or is currently feeling stuck. And
6:34
Speaker 1: I want to preface this by saying that feeling stuck,
6:39
Speaker 1: it quite literally, is a feeling. You are not stuck. Okay,
6:43
Speaker 1: you can move, you can make moves. The thing about
6:47
Speaker 1: it is you are being held down by what I'm
6:50
Speaker 1: calling invisible chains. And these invisible chains are really your
6:56
Speaker 1: thought patterns. It is your upbringing, how you were, the
7:01
Speaker 1: systems that guided you, the principles that you use to
7:06
Speaker 1: build your value system with, and your goals and your
7:10
Speaker 1: aspirations around these things. And it's time to get unstuck.
7:14
Speaker 1: It's time to break the patterns because those patterns are
7:20
Speaker 1: preventing you from going where you need to go and
7:22
Speaker 1: doing what it is that in your zone of genius,
7:26
Speaker 1: the thing that makes you genius and not like everybody else.
7:31
Speaker 1: Going back to the fish trying to climb the tree
7:33
Speaker 1: and being judged for climbing a tree when it's in
7:36
Speaker 1: fact the fish you are in and you should be
7:40
Speaker 1: in your zone of genius, but you're stuck. You're stuck
7:44
Speaker 1: looking around. And here's why I believe you're stuck. And
7:48
Speaker 1: I want to talk through today those cycles that have
7:53
Speaker 1: you had you stuck, and every once and again it
7:58
Speaker 1: pops up, and I want you to not only identify them,
8:04
Speaker 1: but find ways to break free from them. And it's
8:07
Speaker 1: gonna I'm not here. Here's the thing. It's not gonna
8:10
Speaker 1: sound like anything brand new. Some of these things are
8:14
Speaker 1: gonna be reminders for you. Some may be brand new
8:17
Speaker 1: for you, and some might be a sign that you
8:21
Speaker 1: need to put this into practice, because we're not just
8:25
Speaker 1: doing this for information. We're doing this and we're having
8:29
Speaker 1: these conversations for transformation. You've got to be transformed. So
8:34
Speaker 1: if you're listening to this for information, that's great, but
8:39
Speaker 1: that's not serving you, that's not helping you become more
8:42
Speaker 1: and enriched. And that's my goal, that's my job. I'm
8:45
Speaker 1: challenging you this week to leave this podcast, using the
8:50
Speaker 1: information that you received about these cycles, to go do
8:54
Speaker 1: something about it. So let's talk about the first cycle.
8:57
Speaker 1: We already started talking about it. It's the comparis cycle.
9:01
Speaker 1: And I cannot tell you how many people I've talked to,
9:05
Speaker 1: how many people I see on social media or people
9:08
Speaker 1: that I don't see on social media. And when I ask, Hey,
9:11
Speaker 1: why aren't you on social media? You know, I'm just
9:13
Speaker 1: trying to you know, looking at people like it just
9:16
Speaker 1: makes my anxiety go wild, and I'm like, really, and
9:21
Speaker 1: I think I was insensitive about it for a long time,
9:24
Speaker 1: But I understand why we're here. We're here because we've
9:27
Speaker 1: always been here. As I said before, we spent more
9:31
Speaker 1: time finding people in the world that were more like
9:34
Speaker 1: us so we can compare to those people and not
9:37
Speaker 1: look and celebrate the differences of other people. So we
9:41
Speaker 1: created this crazy cycle we're in, and the comparison trap,
9:45
Speaker 1: the comparison cycle with social media has become even more heightened,
9:51
Speaker 1: even more potent. We base our worth, our worth, imagine
9:56
Speaker 1: your precious worth, about who you are and what you
10:01
Speaker 1: can give to this world and the people that you
10:04
Speaker 1: were brought here to serve. You are putting that and
10:06
Speaker 1: pitting that up against someone who has nothing in comparison
10:11
Speaker 1: to you, but because they're out there putting it out there,
10:14
Speaker 1: and it's shiny and it's the new thing. And it's
10:17
Speaker 1: a new kid on the block or whatever it is.
10:19
Speaker 1: It leaves you leaving the social media posts or whatever
10:23
Speaker 1: it is the event feeling less than having self doubt
10:28
Speaker 1: and feeling inadequate. It's distorting your perception. You don't have
10:34
Speaker 1: a perception. You don't have identity, and I want to
10:38
Speaker 1: put that in front of you. I know we have
10:40
Speaker 1: the idea, but I want you to think about who
10:42
Speaker 1: am I? Who are you? Who are you? Take the
10:46
Speaker 1: idea away, take all the external things you hight your weight?
10:48
Speaker 1: Who are you? Do you know who you are? Because
10:52
Speaker 1: you're gonna need that going out there in the world.
10:55
Speaker 1: You need to have identity. It's going to help you
10:59
Speaker 1: recognize how truly accomplished you are with the walks and
11:04
Speaker 1: the paths that you yourself have made, which is in
11:08
Speaker 1: itself unique to any other being on this earth. There
11:12
Speaker 1: are things you have experienced, good, bet are and different
11:15
Speaker 1: that are unique to you and you alone, and that's
11:18
Speaker 1: what makes you capable and worthy and important. And that's
11:24
Speaker 1: why you should not compare yourself. So I'm gonna encourage
11:29
Speaker 1: you to break that invisible chain this week by reminding
11:35
Speaker 1: yourself of those accomplishments that you made reminding yourself of
11:40
Speaker 1: the strengths that you have. It's so interesting. In our business,
11:47
Speaker 1: we do an end of year review, and for years
11:52
Speaker 1: this has been a practice that we do mid years
11:55
Speaker 1: actually and the end of years. For a while there
11:58
Speaker 1: we stop doing the years and I was like, oh,
12:01
Speaker 1: that's one less you know, task that I need to complete.
12:05
Speaker 1: But what would happen at the end of year when
12:08
Speaker 1: we were looking at all the projects that I had
12:11
Speaker 1: done and looking at all the work that I had
12:14
Speaker 1: impact on. And sometimes it would take me days to
12:19
Speaker 1: go back to old emails and go back to old
12:22
Speaker 1: files to really really look at the things I had
12:26
Speaker 1: an opportunity to impact. And when I look back on it,
12:31
Speaker 1: I was able to see how much I accomplished in
12:34
Speaker 1: that year. But it took me sitting down and spending
12:39
Speaker 1: time identifying the work that I had done in a year.
12:45
Speaker 1: Imagine over a period of years or even for some
12:49
Speaker 1: of you in your lifetime, when have you when was
12:54
Speaker 1: the last time you fill in the blank you spent
12:59
Speaker 1: time acknowledging your accomplishments, your strengths. That's your homework this week.
13:07
Speaker 1: Write it down. You will surprise yourself about the things
13:12
Speaker 1: that you've accomplished the things that you have overcome, and
13:17
Speaker 1: they're not supposed to be storybook cookie cutter. They're supposed
13:23
Speaker 1: to be unique to you, So don't look to compare
13:26
Speaker 1: yourself to anybody else. That's one way to break through.
13:30
Speaker 1: The other way to break through is to focus on
13:33
Speaker 1: your growth. Focus on your growth and your progress. Remember
13:38
Speaker 1: progress over perfection. Look at the things that are meaningful
13:45
Speaker 1: to you, not the things that are impressing the other
13:49
Speaker 1: people around you. I read a quote that says people
13:53
Speaker 1: spend time getting things and buying things to impress people
13:57
Speaker 1: that they don't like and don't like them. Hello, why
14:02
Speaker 1: are you doing this to yourself? We're trying to break
14:05
Speaker 1: free right now, So again, practice a gratitude practice reminding yourself,
14:11
Speaker 1: identifying those accomplishments, and also spend time focusing on your
14:18
Speaker 1: growth and progress. Here's cycle number two. This is one
14:25
Speaker 1: of my favorite ones and it kind of goes back
14:26
Speaker 1: to I don't know, I'm just I'm gonna put it
14:29
Speaker 1: in the K through twelve space. The cycle of having
14:32
Speaker 1: the same standard for success. Society gives us a one
14:39
Speaker 1: size fits all, And have you ever tried on a
14:42
Speaker 1: one size fits all? I know I have and I'm like,
14:48
Speaker 1: this don't fit me. Okay, this does not fit. I
14:53
Speaker 1: mean it fits, but does it really fit? The one
14:57
Speaker 1: size fits all is not really a thing. Guys, Like,
15:00
Speaker 1: that's what we have been gained to believe, is that
15:04
Speaker 1: we can just all do the same thing and lock
15:07
Speaker 1: in on that and keep it going. You know, I
15:10
Speaker 1: watch YouTube. I'm sure many of us watch YouTube, and
15:14
Speaker 1: it's so interesting to see these ads come up and
15:16
Speaker 1: people talk about their success and the things they do
15:19
Speaker 1: and the things that they've been able to make, you know,
15:21
Speaker 1: six figures with and do all these different things, and
15:23
Speaker 1: those things are cool, and you know, I believe that
15:25
Speaker 1: the people, I mean whatever, But I always wonder if
15:30
Speaker 1: I tried every single thing on this YouTube that they're
15:32
Speaker 1: telling me to do that's going to help me make
15:34
Speaker 1: six figures. I know it's not gonna work. You know
15:35
Speaker 1: why because that person has a different definition of success.
15:41
Speaker 1: So whatever program you decide to join or go into
15:44
Speaker 1: or whatever, identify your success measures first, because I think
15:49
Speaker 1: you're going to find yourself disappointed with how it's producing
15:55
Speaker 1: for you. And that's because we've put ourselves in this measurement.
15:58
Speaker 1: We look at this person on YouTube and We're like,
16:00
Speaker 1: I can do what they did. Their measure of success
16:02
Speaker 1: is the six figures, their measure of successes whatever. That
16:06
Speaker 1: may not be your same measure. You may not even
16:08
Speaker 1: like what they're doing. But again, you're trying to fit
16:11
Speaker 1: yourself cookie cutter, one size fits all into this standard.
16:15
Speaker 1: Change your standard for success, not to fit the world's standard,
16:19
Speaker 1: but to create your own. If I went ahead and
16:23
Speaker 1: did everything I saw on the YouTube, where's really? Where
16:26
Speaker 1: are my heart? Where's my heart work? If I'm doing
16:29
Speaker 1: everything everybody says do, where are the things that feed
16:33
Speaker 1: my heart? Where are the things I can give heart
16:36
Speaker 1: to serve the people I was brought here to serve?
16:39
Speaker 1: Where are those things at? You're not going to find
16:42
Speaker 1: them because you've just lost sight of those things by
16:45
Speaker 1: chasing these markers of success. Oh, that person did that
16:49
Speaker 1: a thirty, I gotta do it at thirty. That person
16:51
Speaker 1: did that in college. I got to do it in college. No, no, no, no,
16:55
Speaker 1: that's somebody else's path. So what needs to happen and
17:00
Speaker 1: to break free from that is to define your own path. Right,
17:06
Speaker 1: take time to understand what it means to be successful.
17:11
Speaker 1: And there are going to be some factors that you
17:13
Speaker 1: have to consider such as is it material wealth, is
17:18
Speaker 1: it that you are personally fulfilled? Is it that you
17:22
Speaker 1: have a sense of purpose, which is one of my
17:25
Speaker 1: favorite ones, and or is it that you have more
17:29
Speaker 1: meaningful relationships? What are you defining a success? That's the
17:35
Speaker 1: first thing. The other thing I would say is to
17:37
Speaker 1: prioritize your well being, and that well being is all you.
17:46
Speaker 1: Your physical self, your emotional self, your mental self, your
17:53
Speaker 1: financial self, your educational self, and the list goes on.
17:57
Speaker 1: Prioritize that what is important is that your education. Do
18:01
Speaker 1: you need therapy? Do you need to be moving every day?
18:05
Speaker 1: Do you need a gym membership? What do you need
18:08
Speaker 1: so that you can begin to define success for yourself.
18:14
Speaker 1: The last cycle that has kept you stuck is the
18:18
Speaker 1: accepting the average cycle. Yes, that's one that's surely gonna
18:25
Speaker 1: quickly erode the ambition that you've had because you have
18:32
Speaker 1: accepted mediocrity. Think about parts of your life. I'm not
18:36
Speaker 1: judging you, because I got my own little mediocre circles
18:39
Speaker 1: in my life that I am breaking free from. But
18:43
Speaker 1: think about the places in your life right now that
18:48
Speaker 1: you have accepted average. You're not average, You're not limited,
18:54
Speaker 1: but you have allowed limited thoughts to set you up
18:58
Speaker 1: in a place of average. Now not only are you limited,
19:03
Speaker 1: but you're in a box. How are you going to
19:06
Speaker 1: be able to aim high when you're limited to when
19:10
Speaker 1: you're limited to standing low? What happens in the average space?
19:15
Speaker 1: And I can tell you this because personally I have
19:18
Speaker 1: done a lot of average ish in my life, and
19:23
Speaker 1: it was because I feared failure. And it's not really failure.
19:29
Speaker 1: It might there might be what you call an outcome
19:34
Speaker 1: A and an outcome B, and there's naturally a desired outcome,
19:38
Speaker 1: what you believe would happen and what actually happens. I
19:45
Speaker 1: think a lot of times we look at if the
19:48
Speaker 1: thing we believed should happen didn't happen, we failed. But
19:55
Speaker 1: what that's telling us is there are some things to
19:58
Speaker 1: learn about why it didn't happen, so that we can
20:02
Speaker 1: get better the next time around. So, speaking from a
20:06
Speaker 1: person who accepted average, that was one of my areas
20:11
Speaker 1: of opportunity, and it caused me to settle. It caused
20:16
Speaker 1: me not to buck the system or change things up
20:20
Speaker 1: too much, because if I did that, I would have
20:23
Speaker 1: to challenge my systems. I would have to challenge how
20:27
Speaker 1: I was being governed, my internal government as I call it.
20:32
Speaker 1: And so here's how you challenge and you break out
20:36
Speaker 1: of the accepting average cycle. What we can start doing
20:41
Speaker 1: very quickly is just changing language. It can go from
20:46
Speaker 1: I can't to I can, I can learn, I can improve.
20:53
Speaker 1: It can go from this is the area I'm weake
20:56
Speaker 1: in to this is my greatest opportunity to learn. It's
21:00
Speaker 1: something that simple, because what that's doing is retraining your
21:05
Speaker 1: mind and creating new systems that will allow you to
21:10
Speaker 1: go past a traditional sense, to get past what you're
21:16
Speaker 1: not able to do, and focus more on your capabilities.
21:20
Speaker 1: And the other thing that you can do, which is
21:22
Speaker 1: one of my favorite things to do, and one of
21:24
Speaker 1: the most important things to do, is to celebrate your progress.
21:28
Speaker 1: I always talk about celebrating your winds, celebrating your large wins,
21:31
Speaker 1: your small wins. It doesn't matter how big are small.
21:35
Speaker 1: Celebrate you got to recognize it because when you celebrate
21:39
Speaker 1: the win, you're taking a step forward, and that's what
21:43
Speaker 1: you want to do. You want forward movement, you want
21:46
Speaker 1: movement in the direction that's ahead. And doing that celebration, participating,
21:53
Speaker 1: especially not just in celebration, but in your own celebration.
21:58
Speaker 1: You're saying something very important into you about you when
22:01
Speaker 1: you do that, so think about that. I hope you
22:08
Speaker 1: found freedom in this conversation. I want you to break
22:15
Speaker 1: these invisible chains, these cycles that have kept you inactive
22:22
Speaker 1: in your own life. It's time to actively work to
22:28
Speaker 1: reshaping your life by reshaping your mindset and your behaviors.
22:36
Speaker 1: This is your life, this is your journey, and it's
22:39
Speaker 1: gonna be you to become more enriched, to embrace the
22:44
Speaker 1: authentic you, that identity of you that helps you align
22:51
Speaker 1: with your values and your future. I hope you enjoyed
23:04
Speaker 1: this week's episode of the Urine Ritsub podcast. And the
23:07
Speaker 1: only way I'm gonna know this is if you leave
23:09
Speaker 1: me some feedback. Feedback is a gift and it is
23:12
Speaker 1: free to give, and I would like to hear from you.
23:15
Speaker 1: I would like to know what resonated with you regarding
23:18
Speaker 1: this week's episode. Now here's how you leave feedback on
23:21
Speaker 1: the platform and which you listen to this podcast follow
23:24
Speaker 1: the stars. When you get there, leave a five star rating.
23:27
Speaker 1: But in all seriousness, when you get there, you can
23:30
Speaker 1: share your feedback on this podcast and that helps us.
23:36
Speaker 1: And when you share your feedback on this podcast. It
23:39
Speaker 1: helps others find us in these podcast streets, so we
23:43
Speaker 1: would definitely appreciate that you can also share this episode
23:47
Speaker 1: with your friends and family right from the podcast. So
23:51
Speaker 1: right from the podcast platform and which you're listening to
23:53
Speaker 1: this episode, hit the share button and send it to
23:56
Speaker 1: the last three to five people that you spoke with today. Also,
24:01
Speaker 1: you can share this on your socials. You can find
24:04
Speaker 1: me primarily on Instagram because that's my jam, that's where
24:07
Speaker 1: I am. You can find me at my Enriched Self
24:11
Speaker 1: that's M Y E N R C h E D
24:14
Speaker 1: s E l F, and you can hashtag this episode.
24:17
Speaker 1: You can tag me. I would love to hear from you,
24:20
Speaker 1: so you can showcase your friends and families and those
24:22
Speaker 1: in the social streets what you're listening to and what's
24:25
Speaker 1: feeding you mind, body and spirit. I also want you
24:29
Speaker 1: to check out the show notes. In the show notes,
24:31
Speaker 1: we have the affirmation of the Week, the quote of
24:33
Speaker 1: the week, and there you can also find my Amazon shop.
24:38
Speaker 1: The R and Rich self shop has two items right now,
24:42
Speaker 1: a journal which is the Show Up Everyday Journal, as
24:46
Speaker 1: well as the Show Up Everyday Notebook, So check those
24:50
Speaker 1: out in my Amazon shops and finally, take what you
24:54
Speaker 1: can from this episode and do what you must in
24:57
Speaker 1: the next one hundred and sixty eight hours so that
25:00
Speaker 1: you can become more of your enriched self until we
25:06
Speaker 1: meet again, h