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Is Your Perception Shrinking Your Husband & Hurting Your Marriage? · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing Marriage Well for June 18, 2026 Is Your Perception Shrinking Your Husband
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  and Hurting Your Marriage?
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  Yesterday we looked at a common wrong image men have of their wives.
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  Today a common false image women have of their husbands.
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  More than once I've heard a woman with two children say she has three children
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  to care for, putting her husband into the child category.
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  It's usually said in a joking way, but it's not a joke. At least in part,
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  it's how she sees her husband, and that false view is hurting him,
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  their marriage, and their children.
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  Besides, it's disrespectful to tell people your husband is childish.
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  Other women are more blunt, calling their husband a man-child.
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  I realize the Peter Pan syndrome is a real thing, but I've seen women say this
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  about men who are competent, able, and respected.
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  If she's the only one who sees him as childish, odds are it's her.
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  A slightly less horrible way this idea is shared is by saying the only difference
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  between men and boys is the price of their toys.
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  I think this one shows the real issue behind women finding men to be childish.
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  Many men will set aside life's worries and have fun even when there are real
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  problems that need to be addressed.
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  Many women see this as not being serious about the problems.
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  There are a couple of gender differences at play here. First,
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  personality studies have found men as a group score higher on measures of playfulness.
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  Because of this, men are more likely to use humor or playful activities as a
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  temporary coping mechanism.
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  Second, women have higher levels of daily stress. So a wife may see things as
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  being worse than her husband does.
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  These things mean men are more likely to take some time to play,
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  even when things are difficult.
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  If they come back to the problems, likely feeling better able to confront them, it's all good.
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  I found a number of articles advising women how to deal with a man-child or
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  Peter Pan husband, but very few of these articles made any attempt to challenge
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  the woman's perception.
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  Yes, such men exist, but some women who accuse their husbands of such things are wrong.
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  If your husband is not doing what he needs to do, that's a problem.
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  If you're upset he isn't tackling a task the way you would, that's not a failure.
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  If he gets it done, how he acts along the way shouldn't be an issue.
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  All that said, if his approach causes you a good deal of trouble,
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  it would be good to talk about that.
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  Start by telling him it's you, not him. Then ask if he can somehow reassure
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  you before he takes a mental health break that he is aware of the problems and will deal with them.
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  This is Paul, and seeing your husband clearly is doing marriage well.