Latest / The REALationship Method / The Value of Patience and Self-Discovery Before Finding Your Person with Lucy

Transcript

The Value of Patience and Self-Discovery Before Finding Your Person with Lucy · The REALationship Method

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: and we're recording five, four, three, two, one.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of the relationship method podcast.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: I'm chris, and today I have a special guest.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Today, um, she's a fitness wellness coach she owns well, she hosts her own podcast in the hawaiian islands.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Here here, um, let's give a round of applause for motherfucking lucy yay what's up y'all hey.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: What's up girl, hey how you doing, doing good, doing good, good yeah, um.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: So before we start, um, how did I get the yes from Lucy to come on this hoe?
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: To come on mine To come on mine.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, how did I get this?
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: yes, you kept popping up on my feed, weirdly enough, I think it's because I was doing podcast, Hawaii podcast research.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Uh-huh.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: And then, like I would see these reels or whatever, Shut your ass.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: Ass for real.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: And I'm like yo, this dude's cool.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: I mean anytime, um, I run into any other filipinos anyway, like we're automatically cool but yeah I was like, oh, I just liked, you know some of the topics and you seem like you had a good personality, you know what I mean.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: So I was like, dude, come through, you know, and I appreciate you coming on that.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: Oh, I appreciate you inviting me.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: One of my favorites.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: Oh, were, oh, thank you.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: Thank you, this is going to be one of my faves.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Yay, because you and I have been chopping it up and stuff and dude, yeah, listen to her stuff.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: What is it called?
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: It is called Lucy's Paradise Podcast.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: Lucy's Paradise Podcast.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: So let paradise podcast.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: So let me ask you uh, how did you start that?
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: bitch, I had the idea for it.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: It's so funny because they asked me this on every podcast of course, I had the podcast and I had about and you know what you're like.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I kind of want to, I kind of have this dream or this goal or whatever, but, um, I kind of was pre-planning it for like two years and I I still have the journal that I wrote a lot of stuff in and I actually like physically wrote in there like guests.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: I wanted, yeah, um, specific things like that and I'm a huge believer in manifesting.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: But it's crazy, even if I try to be skeptical about that, like looking back at that journal and being like holy shit, like like a lot of the stuff I wrote in there has like happened, you know yeah um, and I just I, you know, I really wanted to do it, I, I, I talking's fun I never shut the hell up.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: It's therapeutic as well.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, talking to other people, uh, with like related problems or even like related topics, you know yeah, yeah, and I like to be informed and I and I like to have conversations with people.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: Oh, facts.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so there were so many things about it that I liked.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: I'm not really like super into like the whole camera and attention part of it.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: But again, in order to get like certain messages out there, like you kind of have to like get to a place where you're growing, you know.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: This is true.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: This is true.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: So when I lived in Los Angeles that's kind of a reason why I wanted to leave is I didn't like how obsessed everybody was with being famous, so it was not about creating anymore, it was just about being famous, and I liked the creating.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: I'd be stoked to be in a music video or whatever, because I get to give my ideas and create, but as soon as you suck that fun away, I don't give a fuck about being famous.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean so it's like that shit was annoying, like, and so I was like dude, this shit's not for me.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: So there was a time I mean I was doing commercials and like movies and shit.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: No, I got a celebrity over here.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: That's not what I'm saying, but that's what I'm saying I mean I was in um chris brown's music video paradise with benny benassi and chris brown I'm gonna look for your ass that was probably one of the coolest things I did but, again.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: You can't even see me in that fucking video.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean, so it's like yeah, I have like the background pictures of me in it.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah picture of me and benny benassi, but it's like I just have the story really you know yeah but I had a lot of really cool experiences like that, um, but yeah, I just I it's enjoyable, I love it, I I keep loving it every time I do a podcast or people invite me on theirs, and so yeah, it's, it's a good time I'm the same way.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: Uh, I find it more therapeutic to just talking to people instead of like talking to.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: I like talking to strangers because there's no bias in it.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: You know I'm saying you know, yeah, are you the?
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: type that, like if you go to the dmv or whatever, like you'll try to make friends because, like I, I purposely have been trying to do that now uh-huh and like to avoid being on my phone.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: Right, because these are the opportunities that, like nowadays, like people are so on their phone I realize that, like we're at the bus stop or whatever, just I'm giving random examples.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: I don't actually take the bus, but um, but um.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: I'm just saying like now time.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: Or like in line at the grocery store, right, yeah, as an example, we don't talk to anyone anymore.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: Like you don't, you really don't change because we're so obsessed with our phones and social media.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: So I've been purposely like, okay, I'm gonna like talk to this old lady, you know what I mean or I'm yeah like make a friend here at the grocery store.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: So it actually like last night, for example, I met this girl that works in my building on like a different floor, and so you know what I'm saying.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: Like that, otherwise, if I were on my phone I would have totally not even engaged ah person you know so anyway, I've been trying to do that more really more aware in those, because you're supposed to be bored and what the phone has taken away is our ability to be bored.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: You can't ever be bored anymore as soon as you are about to be bored, you grab your phone.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying?
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: It's like you're supposed to be bored okay, um, to answer your question, uh, I try to be friends with the, the person behind the desk, so I'll be trying to chop it up with him or her trying to get a discount.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: I am oh my gosh, dude, it's an arm and a leg out here especially like to register your vehicle, especially you're not in the military anymore.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it's like at least four or five bands and I'm like, oh no, I think I have to pay like 700 for for it $700?
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: .
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a whole.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: I don't even want to get into it, but it's a whole thing.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I have the tights on.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, I do that.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: And then at the grocery store I just listen to music.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: But when I'm waiting in line, the main topic in the line is like God damn, what's up with this person in front of me, why is he or she taking so long?
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: And then we just go into this little rant.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: But yeah, that's how I start my conversations in a grocery store like motherfucker, hurry up.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: No, dude, exactly, I don't say motherfucker, but I'm like auntie, what's up, and that's it.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: You know, I don't.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: I could be an asshole, but I'm not trying to get my ass beat once I step out of a safe way, but I'm not trying to get my ass beat once I step out of a safe way so I try to be super careful, but with a little toad yeah, apostrophe toad you know, interesting, interesting, super interesting yeah, one time I was recently I was at the grocery store and this old lady started paying with a check and I was like what I have not seen, that I haven't?
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: seen that in a long time.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: Either A check.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: But, yeah, I had to.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: You should have took a picture.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: I had to gain my internal patience.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: Really, how long were you in line for this check transaction?
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to lie.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: She was pretty quick at check writing.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: She's obviously a veteran check writer, so it wasn't that bad, but I was just shocked because I'm so used to everyone using their tap or their card or whatever but it wasn't that bad.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: It was only like a few minutes, so it was okay.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: But, um, I was just like dang, is this gonna take a long time?
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: but it actually didn't oh, okay, go ahead, auntie yeah yeah, you talked about tapping the card.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: I saw this thing.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: I was tiktok um that they'd be scamming people with with the, with the tap.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: You know, like uh at the atm, not the atm machine, but you know those machines at the tellers when you're at a grocery store or whatnot where you could slide it in information.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I've seen that in europe my identity.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: My identity gets stolen all the time, but my identity has gotten stolen when I went to Europe and I only went to one ATM.
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: I didn't even buy anything there.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: I mostly had cash, but I had to because it was like towards the ending of the trip.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: And I was like fuck, we are going to do stuff like off of our cruise ship.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: And my brother was like, oh, you should grab some cash.
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: And I was like, oh damn, I mean, I don't, I don't live there.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: So I don't know what's sketchy or not, you know but I went to one atm and they stole your shit, so I was back in california and I woke up the next day and I well I think I went to go get gas yeah and like my car didn't work and I was like wait, what the fuck?
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah and yeah they, they made like a huge purchase at some like sporting store in europe in europe, like that day.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: So I was like but like my bank knew I wasn't in europe, so when I went to the bank it was like it was cool I could get it like fixed real quick oh my god, money and they yeah they print you out a debit card but or whatever.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: But the bank I went to initially they're like oh, our pinner, our like debit card machines broken.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: So I had to drive.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: I had no gas.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: I had to drive to another branch like farther away yeah because their print machine.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: It was a nightmare.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: I was like this is the worst day ever but like really that shit, I would uh complaint and um wrote a letter.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, I was chill.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: I was chill.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: I try to be like good for you, good for you, try not to like lose my shit in situations like that you stressful.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: I just like my car got towed yesterday.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: I was like my truck, I was just like whatever.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: Were you parked somewhere that you were, I was parked illegally.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: Okay, see, yeah, see man.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: It's still messed up, though, because, like my apartment building doesn't have parking spaces for everybody.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I get off work three in the morning so I'm like there's no parking.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: What am I supposed to do?
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah so, like last night, I just stayed up till like six until my neighbor went to work and I parked my car there oh, for real.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: So, uh, where'd you party?
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: Like in a red or in someone else's stall?
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: they let you park in the fire lane, which is basically on the street uh-huh um, they let you park there, but you have to move it by seven.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: So it's like if I get off work at 3 in the morning.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: It's not going to get moved at 7, yeah.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: What am I going to like?
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: Am I really going to do that?
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I just slept through my alarms Like I had alarms at everything.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm like bruh so.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: It's a lot better though.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: I don't think I've never gotten it towed the way you just did well, one time I got total.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: I was at the club did you park illegally no, I was parked legally, but I guess you're not supposed to park at alamoana.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: I was at district and my friends like yo you're caught your truck's gone.
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: I think they just towed it and I was like I called them and I'm like yo, your car, your truck's gone.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: I think they just towed it and I was like I called them and I'm like yo, like you know how much is it?
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: Blah, blah.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: They're like oh, we don't charge you at another day fee until tomorrow, because it was already like 2 am yeah so they're like technically you have until like tomorrow at 2 am, until the charges go up yeah okay, bet I hung up the phone.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: I'm like let's keep partying like yeah, did you get it that day?
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: I got it later.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: But I was like, yeah, it's not worried about it right now, like what?
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: if you don't want me asking how much was that?
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: hoe, I mean compared to california, it was nothing okay, okay probably what I would have spent at the club.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: So I was like oh, okay, like that's it all, right, bye and I like hung up like yeah, I was like like I think it was like a couple hundred.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's, yeah, it's.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: I also realized that when I went there, I was like, really I was like I would have paid y'all like 150 bucks to not tow my shit, and it rep yeah, and then like, yeah, it's, they're assholes, so like they'll probably charge you every 30 minutes or something crazy shit like that, like just price gouging oh, it's insane, but it's my apartment building is totally a scam.
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: So like the fact that my truck even got towed is like kind of fucked up for real yeah, technically you're not even supposed to park in a fire lane yeah, at all yeah so like the fact that they let us do that, but then are like oh, but at, but at seven you got to move it.
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: Like that doesn't make any fucking sense.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: What part of the island do you live?
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: Is your apartment or is your complex?
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: Huh, I live in Salt Lake.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: Is it gated?
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, gated.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: Does it have its own swimming pool and all like workout?
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: Oh, oh bougie.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: No bougie, because I like gated communities yeah, sometimes gated communities don't stop the people, though I have enough of them here.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: I don't think yeah, yeah facts.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: We need, we need.
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: I don't know that's not what we need, but yeah, I just need to buy a house.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: That's, that's that's a loan yeah, yeah, that's where I'm at hey, va loan I'm remembering all these stresses and I'm like just just get to that uh va loan wants to donate money for me to buy a house do it.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: Hey, um, I'll drop her, uh her at start a gofundme page.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: This and the third and all this bullshit.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: Uh, lucy, are you um taking, single, taking, mingling yeah, you want me to be on your relationship single method podcast and not talking about this shit horrible ad relationships um.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: I'm single okay okay, okay, okay I've been single since last summer last summer, so that not long yeah, it's just a what several months yeah oh was it?
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: was it a good or bad breakup, or was it mutual umual?
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: That one's tough because it wasn't mutual, but I don't really want to talk about her too much.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah don't, which, by the way, she's already accused me of talking to her on past podcasts, which is not true.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: I've never once talked about her.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: She did not talk to you and if you listen to this right now, she ain't talking to you, Mitch.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: I have never talked about her on a podcast yeah definitely talked about past relationships yeah that was the one I stayed away from, but it wasn't mutual um, but she did break up with me a couple times and then it's one of them like I'll go into it a little bit.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: She did like accuse me of cheating because of like something her friend said and I was like bro, are you serious?
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: he said, she said type of situation.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like I'm not.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: Those are stupid I'm not that dumb, yeah.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was also accused um not to like talk about drama, but I was also fucking do it.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: This is a safe place, safe place I was also accused of because, like, I brought my friend around and like that's someone they suspected that like I was cheating with and I like, why would I bring her around, your friend?
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: Guy or girl.
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: It's a girl, but I was like I would be a horrible cheater if I brought her around Like la la la, this is my friend, I'm cheating on you with.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: Like what?
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: And then I guess there were conversations we had that were not what we had and I was like like I don't know what you guys thought you heard, but 100, not true, my friend that particular friend is actually married with kids, uh-huh, and I was like I was like what, oh at least pick one of my gay friends.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: You know like damn so I mean, did she have a little bit did?
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: she have a little crush on me maybe, but is that my problem?
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: no, no, it's not.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: You can't control another person's feelings and emotions.
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: My bottom line is I try to have genuine values when it comes to relationships.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: It's not that I've never like cheated in the past, but I know, like that's not, who I am.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: And I mean I can't even tell a white lie without having like immense guilt.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: So, like me, being a cheater would not, I would not be able to live with myself.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah guilt.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: So like, for me, being a cheater would not, I would not be able to live with myself.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean yeah, yeah, yeah um, I try to have authentic relationships and, yeah, I don't, I don't have one right now, but huh, yeah, if you know, if you have a friend, that's um, not I would say, like sweet kind not a nut job not drama, yeah, yeah, but like every girl is fucking crazy and I feel like.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: Is this true?
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: Like in your, let's say, experience?
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: What's the political in your sex pool?
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: In my community.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, in your community, what is the typical female that you want or that you look for or that you're into?
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: Okay, well, that's a lot.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: Is it a lot?
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: Oh, give me five.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, no no.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: I'm just because the wording to me is everything and I'm not really looking for anything.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: Like.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: I'm not actively like.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: I'm not on any social media apps.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: Atta girl.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: So like anything, okay, like I'm not actively, like I'm not on any social media apps at a girl, so like you won't even be able to find me on any of those.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: Not that I, not that.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: Um, those don't necessarily work, um that's, I think.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: Like in this phase of my life, it's like I'd rather just meet somebody organically or like through a friend or like that shit when I'm out somewhere.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: So I I nixed the whole dating app thing.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: Now will I go on a dating app, maybe in the future, maybe, um, right now, no, right now, like um.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: Like I said, I'm not actively looking, so I'm not gonna like go out to the club and my mission isn't to like go meet get booty yeah, like no, I definitely, and like we talked about that before yes, we did.
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: I just think that, like, your intention matters, and if you go out with the intention of like just getting laid like, you're not necessarily gonna find like like a really solid connection.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think like exchanging energy with somebody is like is super valuable, and like I don't I don't take it lightly as I I might have in the past I don't think like now, at this maturity level that I am at now in my life, I I'm not just like willy-nilly with stuff like that.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: Like, um, I'd rather be intimate with somebody that I'm in like a serious relationship with, and to me I think it means more.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean yes like yeah I like your way of thinking because me and the boys and some females in this little circle that I'll be talking to, uh, we talked about how uh people my age now we're not trying to bang anything, we're just trying to find a connection or like, uh, they'd rather I don't like.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: The intellectual conversations are way more important than just sex.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: Well, there's a lot of different elements to relationships.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but I think and.
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: I think people prioritize them, you know, in their own way.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah so some people.
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: that is important, that's one thing they care about, so they do want to go out and get laid and that's all they care about.
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: I'm not that person.
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: I'm just at a different like.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: I want to find somebody that's like ambitious and like somebody who wants to like build a similar life that I want to build.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: You know what?
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: I mean, and so it doesn't make sense for me to like just go and hook up with people, because the people that are doing that are obviously not the people that think like me.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah right, those are going to be the people that are like focused on their self-care, do maybe like in the gym all the time or whatever like no, knock on them though.
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, no no, I mean, if you want to go have your whole stage or whatever, like I think age appropriate is also.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: It's a thing thing, right, like after I got divorced for sure I was a hoe.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: Of course we all go through that yeah.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: And I think to some level it's good because you find out what does not work for you.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: And that behavior doesn't work for me and I don't like to live that way, and so I just try to do things that I'm going to be proud of.
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: Uh, try to do things that I'm going to be proud of.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: Uh-huh and yeah.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: So also, I'm trying to be the best version of myself for whoever I find you know what I mean Out there.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's good.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: I'm really focused on like myself and like self-care and like stuff like that, and that's what I spend a lot of my energy on.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: And like I'm not looking because I'm not actively looking.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm focused more on the internal myself so that I can attract something that aligns.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: so oh great, let me ask you this then have you ever had one of these moments where you, uh, hold on?
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: It was a question too.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: I can't believe I liked her or thought she was cute, moment like, oh, oh man, she's hot, or yeah, she's kind of cute, but then along the lines you're like, damn, why did I ever like her?
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: She's not even that cute anymore.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: Has that ever?
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: happened to you For sure, and I think you know people get so obsessed with physical or outward like beauty, but you have to remember that.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: Like.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: So I've read this book and, um, it's really good shit.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: I'm like gonna space on what the name of it is oh, girl, you read, I'm just playing I read a lot.
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like fucking nerd it's okay.
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: It's okay, I'm a geek, I'm trying to think oh, what is it called?
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: It's called, oh, it's called deeper dating.
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: The author is is this gay guy who's actually has a PhD?
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: But it was really interesting.
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: I didn't realize that reading the book and then I was like, oh my God, like crazy, like we should go out.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: But, um, it was a really interesting book and in this book they talk about you know, and and, and I'm not going to like quote it directly or anything like that, but basically the theme of it is that looks fade away.
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: So it it teaches you how to approach dating in a different way because, um, which is good and bad, but people have internal, you know, beauty on the inside, where, like their personality, makes sense.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: Cause there's a lot of girls I dated where I might not have initially thought they were attractive.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: But then, after like talking to them and like learning about their life or like seeing like them with their friends, I started to like them more.
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: Uh-huh, you know what I mean.
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: And this one girl that I recently was seeing, um, I, I went to one of her comedy shows and then that's when I was like, oh my god, I like her because I, I was like I like the way her brain works comedy show that's smart have I been to one of these comedy shows and watched her on stage yeah
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: oh, I think I know who it is.
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say it on air, but I think I know.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: Okay, oh, okay, um, this happened to me years, years back, where I thought like a female was like super pretty and she had the intellectual mind too, right, right, but then we started working together and then she got pissy all of a sudden, right, and I was like, oh my gosh, I can't believe I thought you were cute in that type of way and I was like, oh, I'm done, she became super ugly.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: This is where, like what I said earlier about every girl's crazy, so it's like hear me out.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: Every girl is, has a crazy to an extent yeah right.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: So what happens is you, you find a girl or whatever, and like you, you figure out what, what her crazy level is, and some people are totally manageable and some people not, right so but I think, and but that's everybody yeah it's kind of like the whole toxic thing, like everyone's obsessed with these fucking ism words that they learn from from like the internet.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: Name me one.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: I don't think I'm following.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: Like narcissist, like everyone wants to fucking use that word.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: Oh, narcissist, yeah, I hear that a lot.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: You're narcissistic or toxic.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: You're narcissistic.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you toxic, yeah I hear that shit a lot.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: That one is more annoying because people think that they can diagnose other people and I'm like, shut the fuck up.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: You don't even know anything about narcissism, but anyway, I'm just saying where was I going with that?
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: I really don't know.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: I'm just like I'll play Angin it up girl.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: That's my belief anyway, that everyone has a certain level of crazy.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: It's not like oh, are you crazy?
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: No, like, ok, if I literally like did the worst things I could do to you, like take, you know, whatever matters to you in life, and let's just say I took all of that away, I did that.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: Like yeah you would feel some level of like upset.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely yeah.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: Or you went to a bar and you're like drinking or whatever, and somebody just gets in your face Like you're going to get a level of right.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: That's my point.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: Everybody has the level to an extent.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: Now girls or people that have gone through traumas in their life, they have it more right.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: So there are different ways of crazy.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: I guess right, like when you're like, oh yeah, this girl is toxic or whatever they can be, I don't know if it's worse they could be like extrovertedly expressing that toxicity right.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: Or they like they're just like shitty in relationships, maybe they ignore you or whatever.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: And then you have the opposite where, like, people retreat Because people they react differently to traumas okay, right, yeah, you go into a fight or flight.
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: Um, so it's just.
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: I think basically my point is when you, you don't know a lot about somebody, right, you get to know them, that's great.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, my life, oh yeah, this is my family.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: Blah, blah, blah.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: This is all.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: That's all bs.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: What you really, when you really learn about somebody, is when you go through shit with them yeah, so when something bad happens to them.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: Right, you see how they interact with those people yeah when their best friend and them are fighting.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: You see how they deal with those conflicts.
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: That's where you really learn somebody.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: When there's moments of conflict, how does this person act under pressure?
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: How does this person act during a conflict?
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: because if you're gonna do life with them, you have to do life with how they react to conflict and how they react to traumatic things that happen to them well, fucking said, lucy yeah so if you are dating a person and they cannot react in a way that's in a team effort, right, like something bad happened and they retreat or they don't communicate with you, like that's how they're gonna deal with every problem that you have in your relationship, oh, you cut them loose so you just, you just have to figure out what will work for you.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: Uh-huh, and that is one of the most important elements you gotta figure out what works for you first uh-huh before I can even go and look for someone who matches up to that yeah, yeah, yeah, that's
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: why a lot of my focus is on me, because if I can figure out what will work for me, it's really easy to.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: Then, when I go into the dating world, oh this is how you deal with that, that's not gonna work for me.
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: Because I want to be in a relationship with somebody that understands the teamwork aspect of being a successful team, you know, and it's also really hard to date me and be a loser.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: I want someone who pushes me.
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: Mean, yeah, I like that, I want that you push me and you make me better in these ways.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: So that's what I like.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: So let me ask you, if you're in the let's say, hypothetically speaking, you're in a relationship right now, right, and it got to the point where this person isn't pushing you anymore to be better.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: Are you going to drop her or a conversation will start?
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I think.
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely a conversation, I mean okay you'll also kind of assess, like how much this person means to you, um, but I mean people also go through different things in life you know, life has ups and downs and sometimes in a relationship and I've learned this from being married is sometimes you're at 80 and they're at 20, or sometimes they're at 20 and you got to be that other other percentage for them yo fuck that there's also that too.
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: Uh-huh, I'm not saying like, I'm not saying to allow it to be a habit because, once it becomes a habit, it starts becoming who they are yeah right, so you got to be careful of that.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: I'm just talking about the small instances where, like something maybe happened in their life the parent or something like that.
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm talking about oh, okay, okay, okay, those specific short lulls now.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: If you start now, if it starts being a pattern, like I dated a girl who always talked about working out and getting in shape and going to the gym but never once went into my gym in my apartment building, I was like, oh yeah, I have a gym downstairs.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: Like go go, never once after a while yeah after a while, that shit's gonna annoy the shit out of me bro, let me tell you, this happens to me all the time.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: Uh, I'm not gonna say, but uh, people that I talked to would say, oh, I want to get, um, healthier, I want to get fitted Right.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, okay, you know what to do, you don't need me to like egg it on you, right?
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: So I would you know, give them a start eating healthy, go to the gym, even take a walk, fuck the gym.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: Go for a daily eating healthy.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: Go to the gym, even take a walk, fuck the gym.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: Go for a daily walk.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: This and the third, and I still see the same person complaining and not moving.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: So I, I totally understand where you're coming from with what you just said and it hits home because I'm like, oh, my god, and sometimes you know what, no, it's happened to me right now.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: It's like I don't even say anything.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: It's like, oh, I feel fat, okay, this is the thing, though Like, and not with everybody.
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: You have this responsibility, but with my friends and if you're in my close um, my close circle of friends, you know this about me I will call you out because I love and care about you.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: I will be like, hey, blah, blah, blah.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: You know, you've talked about this goal of yours for six months now and I haven't seen you do anything.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: Even my my one friend, tyler, that I just had on my podcast.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: He calls me all the time when he's like, oh, I haven't been to the gym get your ass out.
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: What are?
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: you gonna do to change it though oh, I think being a really good friend is giving your friends those accountability now, not not all relationships you're going to do at that level.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: You can't be a coworker, that's just like bitching and you're like okay, yeah.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: Right, but you're doing a disservice by not calling them out.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: You should be like, bro, you've been talking about this for seven months.
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: Get your ass in the gym, listen to motivational podcasts from whoever's going to inspire you yeah, whoever's gonna inspire you?
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just do do something.
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: Do a little bit, you know.
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: Find a new hobby, even if it's a hike or something.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: Girl, I like the way you speak because my ass would be like look here, bitch, you get the fuck up like we have.
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: We, I think we have some responsibility to push each other yeah better you know what I mean like why is this, you know like?
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: Have you thought about that?
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: Why is this person in your sphere of influence?
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: Why did god put you next to that person?
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: And that person's always talking to you for you to ignore him oh, that hits.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: Wait, were you asking me, or is this?
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: I want you to think about that, oh no, no, I, I just did.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: I was like god damn that shit, that shit was horror, that's, that's a fucking bar yeah, oh my, I'm just thinking of like the greater purpose yeah, yeah, yeah you.
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: You might have you like you being in that moment with this person could have been like something bigger than you think, right?
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: I mean, maybe I don't know I I I'm just a believer of like everything's a test uh-huh so I just I'm like everything, everything's a test it is if someone's gonna come to me with something I'm like all right, this is a test, like.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna treat it like, like such god doesn't give its toughest uh assignments to its weakest soldiers.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I botched that hoe, but it sounded good in my head, yeah holly, the setback, it's the comeback.
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there it is there.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: It is like saying close let me ask you uh, this is from uh, from a follower can you date someone with kids?
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: yeah, I fucking love kids.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: I'm okay, first of all, I'm a kid okay, okay okay, okay, like my one friend, harmony iony, I'm like yo let's, let's.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: I want to go to Dave and Buster's bring your son Like I love kids.
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: I don't.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: I mean that's not a bad thing.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I don't, I guess.
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: I guess some people would see it as like a baggage or whatever.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: Me not so much.
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: I mean, kids are miracles, you know, and they're like the future generation.
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: So I love kids.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, not a big deal.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: I like your answer.
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: I think young me would be like hell.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: No.
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: Older me now is like yeah, I like to see how people discipline their kids and how they interact with their kids.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: Are you talking about like the actual parent or the because?
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: you learn a lot about.
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: Somebody right like this is the person I'm going to be a parent now with maybe in the future.
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: So how do they discipline their kid or how do they treat their kid?
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: oh, I'm saying I treat them like real adults.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: Well, you know what?
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: Not to an extent, but I do.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: I still do give like the ass whoopings, but it only takes, takes one like one good ass whooping and then like they're straight, yeah, yeah I don't think I would spank my kid.
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: I'm not against it why?
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: I'm not against it, but, um, I think I would challenge my kid to think about things you know, and I mean that would probably be like my last resort, like I don't want my kid to be a fucking fugitive.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean he won't, he or she won't.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: You just got to give him like a good whooping, yeah, yeah, just like one time it's culture.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: It's not abuse right yeah, I, yeah, I.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: I just um, I'm just saying it wouldn't be like my, the first, my first thought, you know what I mean.
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: There's other things you can do, like um, there are like in the military right, like it has to match um the crime has so much the punishment.
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that type shit there are other ways that you can punish kids that are.
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: They'll get the point across like take their electronics away.
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: You can't.
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean like making them do other things.
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: My mom used to make me read the dictionary and I was like what the fuck?
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: but look at you now.
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: You have a mass abundance of words that come out of your mouth, that type shit.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: My biggest, I guess, punishment for my teens was taking their door away.
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: That was the big one.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: I had to, because they're too old for me to spank and hit or whatever.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: They found ways to go around going on the internet because I took their electronics away, so they found ways to get away, uh, to go around, um, going on the internet because I took their electronics away, so they found other ways.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: So the best hackers, yeah right.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: So the best thing that I had like up my sleeve was take their privacy.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: And what better way to take their privacy away is take their bedroom door.
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: So when I walk I'm like, oh yep, I see you, dog, the only privacy they're gonna get is like in the bathroom.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: But other than that boy, they're little brothers and sisters coming in the room running amok.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck.
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: Again, I'm not a parent so I have opinions that are not based on using them in actual life.
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: Besides my nephews, my nephews are incredible human beings, so smart.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: One of my nephews is working to go to the air force academy hey, that's my other nephew.
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: He's around the same age.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: He's looking at, um, you know, an rltc scholarship, something like that, and um, you know, I, I just I try to encourage them and just be like I'm going to support whatever decision you do.
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: You know, or you choose yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: But I'm so proud of them.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: My nephew just got his Billy Mitchell Award in the Civil Air Patrol.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: What's that?
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: The Civil Air Patrol is an auxiliary for the Air Force, so they do like search and rescue missions.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: And.
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: I actually did that when I was younger and I got my Amelia Earhart Award, which is cadet captain.
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: So my nephew's a couple of promotions away from cadet captain, and so it's to me, it's to see him like kind of following my footsteps in a way, and right now he's like training up for the Air Force Academy, so I'm like sending him workouts and stuff and he's trying them out, but my nephews are incredible and they're like incredibly smart.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: Super athletic and I'm just really proud of all of them my other just got his finance license and um has like a scholarship doing finance right now and he's doing incredible.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm super proud of my nephew so I think I would be a pretty decent parent, because my I mean, I don't parent my nephews, but I've been involved, very involved, in their lives yeah um well, they're like my pride and joys, you know you know what, down the future, we will see if, if it ever fucking happens, I would like an update and be like Lucy nope, nope, nope.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: I went to my friend's house.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: I would have been on that ass.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: Her baby had his first steps with me.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: Oh really.
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: Because I was like training him.
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: I'm like yo.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: I bet you the mom's like super jelly, I was like practicing, and then I had my, my, um, my necklace.
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: yeah, it was like dangling, so he or she was trying to.
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: I was trying to get it, yeah, yeah he had his first steps and now he's walking all over the place oh, you can't stop that shit.
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: When that happens, you can't stop that hell.
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: No, here's another question from a person.
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: What so this person?
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: He listens, he, it's a he.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: He listens to your podcast and he listens to to mine.
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: So he wants to know what separates our podcast from the other podcasts on the island.
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: So this is a local boy.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what separates us from the other ones?
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: Well, I think, what do you think?
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: clearly a really clear line is that you talk about relationship stuff a lot more my podcast.
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: It's a lot more open.
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: It's a little more interview style slash anything political that involves Hawaii.
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: I don't think you really talk much about political shit.
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: No, fuck, no, I'm on their head if I ever talk about that shit.
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: I think that's how we differ, uh-huh like mainly, I think.
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: But thank you so much for for watching.
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: I really, really appreciate yeah dead ass dope that he's a.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: Uh.
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: He watches both of ours, so right yeah, I think it's.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: What makes us different is because, um, a lot of the podcasts here and I'm not knocking on them, but they talk about more the Hawaiian culture.
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: You hear it everywhere and I think with ours, your podcast, I haven't came across the Hawaiian culture you talk about.
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: You know, you had what's that?
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: What's that?
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: What's that?
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: What's that?
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: Motherfucker, a tiger, joe Exotic yeah, joe Exotic.
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: You had Harold on your shit and I wasn't even talking about like any Hawaiian stuff, and you know me, I'm not even knowledgeable in that stuff, so I don't even want to try and talk about it.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: You know, yeah, yeah, I don't know, we're like super consistent with our shit.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: Like I'm not going to lie, we're consistent.
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: I know other podcasters out there that I had on here.
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: They're consistent too, so like ups to them too.
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: But yeah, you and I we're consistent with our shit.
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so my.
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: so my goal too for this year is to be on more podcasts, so I've I would love to be on more, yeah I've been on one um, the smoking section podcast, so far this year.
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: Last year I think I was on like three or four different ones, but, um, it's just, it's awesome to like um be able to like connect with people in different states facts yeah, yeah, yeah yeah come on, let me talk about this.
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: Like the guy I just went on, his name is Corpse and I went on it's called the Smoking Section Podcast and like I'm like it's so funny, you have someone who doesn't smoke on your podcast.
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: Like this is hilarious, you know.
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: So it's funny because-.
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: Was this the one that's on your page online?
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: Was it that one?
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: I think I put on my story.
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's on Spotify, but it was cool because we got to kind of talk about like.
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: We talked about like weed specifically and like why I don't smoke weed anymore, like stuff like that.
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: But it was interesting because he's a stoner, so he had a different perspective.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: I miss that shit he kind of got to like talk about that.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: So I mean it's a good time, but I want to get Kamaka Diaz on my podcast.
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: That would be really cool Kamaka Diaz.
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: Who's that?
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: He's the one that has the Keep it Aloha podcast.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I think I've seen that.
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: I've seen that.
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he said he's down.
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: Oh, we're.
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and he was having surgery, I guess.
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: So hopefully he's feeling better and I can, I can reach out again.
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: But hey, definitely do a goal for sure, definitely do, then I can.
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: I can have one that we talk about hawaii shit.
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: Oh man, hell yeah, that'll be dope, that'll be dope.
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: I remember when I started this and I was just blasting the text right or the dms, he was one of them and I don't want to put out his business or whatever, he was going through some stuff, but I did reach out to him.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: I just never reached back.
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: My dumb ass, I'm just.
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: I'm just bad at that shit.
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: You know, I actually saw him out and I, like, thought it was him and I was like I'm not gonna bother him.
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: And then it ended up being him and I was like dang it, I should have talked to him.
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: But yeah right, it's all good um when you're walking around the island, do people notice you?
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: Or notice your voice and like?
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: so funny.
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: So yes, my friend kayla came to visit from la okay and it I mean the timing was crazy too, because it was like two in the morning, so you went out.
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: It was her birthday.
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: So like I'm, like, I'm gonna take you, we're gonna sing you some birthday songs.
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: You know what I?
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: Mean yeah yeah, you know, I gotta show her a good time on her birthday oh, definitely so we went out for a little bit.
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: Now we're walking back to the car and I parked at international marketplace.
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: Um, so usually when I go out I kind of stay around there.
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: I like international marketplace and the places over there.
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: But, um, me and her were just chit-chatting, we're walking and then this girl said something about a podcast.
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: I actually didn't hear it.
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: My friend kayla heard it and she said hey, I think that girl's talking to you and I was like what I turn around and she goes yeah, I see her, I watch your podcast.
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: I'm like she was with her boyfriend and she's like oh yeah, like you should, I think my boyfriend should go on.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: And she was like promoting her boyfriend to come on the podcast and I'm like, oh shit, she's drunk no, she was.
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: She seemed pretty sober okay okay, okay um, and then she was like yeah, he used to do drugs and he don't do drugs no more, and like no, no, no.
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: And I was like oh, shit, okay, okay, but like I'm very open.
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: Uh, you know, by the way, if anybody wants to come on my podcast, I I'm very open to having you know a wide range of people.
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: I I'm not, I'm not really gatekeeping that, but um, um, it was interesting, it was really cool.
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: My, my friend was visiting.
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: I was like what the hell?
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: And I was like yo, that's the first time anyone's like noticed that hey, that's, that's pretty cool, and just the fact that it was in waikiki it's kind of cool too, I think.
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: Atta girl.
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's cool.
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: I got one more from a person and this might be the last one.
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: So having money Okay, so it was a long one Having money and success does not disqualify a person from being a horrible partner.
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: Why do people want a person with their shit together and when they get that, get intimidated and decide and decides to leave them for a lesser value person?
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: that sounds like some trauma he's bringing up so let's break that this down so you want to read it again a little, just a little slower having money and success does not disqualify a person from being a horrible partner.
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: So if you have money and you're still a shitty person, you are still a shitty person.
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and then why do?
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: And then the question is why do people want a person with their shit together?
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: and when they get that, they get intimidated and decide to leave them for a lesser value person so that sounds like they're not ready to receive that right okay, I can see that now, yeah if you, if you, you know it, maybe you're not at the most successful place, that you are right and that could be intimidating for that person.
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: It depends on the person, but yeah um, if you do find yourself intimidated by that, I mean, I guess in, I guess one option would be to like date someone and and this is very also like the wording like someone lesser.
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: Like this is all subjective because, like what is his version of lesser you know what I mean I don't know, but oh shit, yeah, you're right.
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: So let's, let's say, let's say uh, let's say, it's money then say yeah, I think what is like someone who means it's a she though it's a she that asked this one.
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: Oh, it's a girl.
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: Yes, thank you so let's just say it sounds like she's the breadwinner uh-huh she dated a guy who couldn't fucking handle it.
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: That's what that sounds like it sounds like she dated a guy that couldn't handle it or wasn't up to par.
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: So in reality, they do you a favor when they do that, because if they realize that they're not, they are intimidated by you or they're not at a place where they feel like they could be an equal partner yeah they should just not date.
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: You go date somebody.
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean when people tell me oh yeah, you're too much, okay, go get less I like lucy, coming in less for you yeah, yeah, yeah, if you don't want to date somebody that goes to the gym and eats healthy and like yeah vicious and does these things, then go date somebody else girl you're going.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: You went in on that one, yeah I just I think that's what happened to her now I'm just guessing fuck it.
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: That's what happened to her.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: Now I'm just guessing.
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: Fuck it.
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: That's what happened, I'm guessing.
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: Based on your question and the way that you worded your question, it makes it sound to me that, and um, or maybe I don't know, or maybe it's an observation Cause she did say like oh, just cause you're successful, it doesn't make you a great partner, right, you know?
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: It's what that shows.
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: Is that individually, you're great, right?
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: yeah, you could you can you know, do things for yourself.
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: A, b, c and d in a successful way.
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: But then, when you get a partner, you might not be good at that, and that is a transition to yeah, that is yeah curve is okay.
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: How do?
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: How?
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: Are we going to be a team?
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: That that's definitely a learning curve, um, but I love how I'm talking about it Like I'm an expert, okay.
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what yeah?
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: I was married for like a year, so I don't know shit.
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: No, man, I like to.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: I like to hear other people's, cause I think everyone they've heard my shit.
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: So hearing other people's perspective on, like, certain topics and certain things, it's refreshing, so lucy.
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: So the person, the person that realizes dang, I feel intimidated by whoever?
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they need to look at themselves and ask themselves why do I feel intimidated by this?
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: and that's what they got to work on, you know, like yeah this person making more money than you and that's making you feel like emasculated in a way, or is is this person more ambitious than you?
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: And then you're realizing, like you know, I'm not as ambitious as them, or maybe I'm not as fit as them and I'm not as like consistent in the gym yeah okay.
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: So I mean, there's ways to change that.
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: If you don't want to feel that way, then you can start going then fucking do it, just do it, nike, god damn.
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, then you could.
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: I don't know, but um, that's an interesting one I I want to know more.
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: I don't know the drama like right, I want to know the tea.
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: These random people what?
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: happened, but I think that's kind of what it sounds like.
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: It sounds like she met this person and you're okay, and that that's happened to me, like I've dated people and then they just like disappeared because they they did not feel like they're up to par, or whatever I'm like okay, like you made a prejudgment before I was able to do anything, but that's fine, because, um I, when someone leaves you should let them oh, definitely yeah yeah, you don't hold on, yeah, don't don't be a jack and I say that and I, I still hold on um, I hold out you have a.
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: You have a good heart.
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: I hold out hope.
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: But I forever live in the friend zone.
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: I'm just kidding.
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: I remember you talking about that shit too.
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: That shit is hilarious.
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: Y'all should listen to our episode on her platform.
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: It was funny.
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I don't know, being single is weird, it's weird.
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: But I just every time I kind of like get get down or lonely or whatever, I just think to myself like um it could be worse no, I, I try to imagine like the person that is gonna find me oh and so that I try to, instead of like, oh, I feel bad about myself, I just try to focus on that.
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: That's good.
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: And then how?
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: great that feeling is going to be like when I do meet them.
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: So I try to focus on that.
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: Like what would they be like?
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: Or like stuff?
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: like that oh yeah, I had this discussion with Tiff, my wife, and like if we could live today as single humans, right?
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: She told me that she can't, she wouldn't be able to adapt or adjust to what's.
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: You know the whole dating scene.
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: I told her, like to be real, like I would have been like fuck dating, I'd be all about me.
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: Now, you know, like just yo fuck the, fuck the females.
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: Like if I have the life that I have right now, I'm just, I'm doing me, I'll take care of you know, the kids and this and the third.
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: But I think I'd be able to successfully live the single life opposed to her, where she doesn't know what she would do.
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: She would.
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: She said she would have like a hard time because there's a lot of fuck boys out here.
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: So yeah, but you wouldn't get like lonely fuck no oh my gosh p-o-r-n.
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: God damn.
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: Why the fuck not?
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: You feel me, I mean dang yeah, but that's not the same.
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: That's not, as I don't think it's fulfilling as like in a relationship way you're right, it's not fulfilling, but however I personally, like I'm not.
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: I'm not a fan of porn.
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: That's good, uh, don't be horrible yeah, us guys, um, we learned our stroke from the best, um, but anywho, uh, not, uh, we'll let we'll like be like in a relationship, I think, being older, because we've, if we've gone through, we're able to like not even think about it, because kind of like it's better to have loved and lost and never loved before.
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: There it is, yeah, so we've experienced it, yeah.
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: So it's like OK, I know what to do, I know what to expect.
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: If it does happen, it's going to happen, does happen, is gonna happen.
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: And I the the loving thing, the loving part about it is is that when you're old and if it does, when it does happen, it's organic, because you're not on the sites you're fucking, you're just doing you, you just happen.
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: It just happened along where you're doing you and someone came along and just matched your shit yeah, yeah, I imagine like me being at the bookstore and like running into somebody, exactly.
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: Ooh, oh.
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: What is that?
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: How to Be a Superior man?
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: No, it's this book when the Wild Things Are.
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: Oh wow, when the wild things are.
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: Why are you reading that?
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, the illustrations are fantastic.
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: I can't read them, you know what I'm saying but yeah, read them, you know what I'm saying.
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I do miss a barnes and noble.
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: I ain't gonna front barnes and noble like they don't have one on the island.
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: I don't think my wife is in there somewhere I don't know which one, but she's walking around.
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: She better be reading some good shit.
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: If you're reading some shit, I'm gonna be like what's what's good shit to you?
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: Autobiography is fantasy like good shit, because I read a lot of like I guess, I don't know fictional fantasy type shit I think, just just just someone who reads would be cool even how about magazines?
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: is that okay?
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: no, like, like books, you want books, yeah, yeah like like no intellectual person like no pictures in that hoe just that's probably just why I'm single like everyone's just dumb harry potter books are okay, just kidding I love harry potter oh, okay huge harry potter fan okay, I read the fantasy books.
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: I read the first four twice and then I read the last two, but um, yeah, I slither in all the way.
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: I mean I'm wearing green.
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: Oh, gang gang gang, gang bitch.
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, um, how about, uh, what's it called?
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: Uh, you ever chicken soup, those chicken soup books, are they?
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: Uh, if a person's reading that are you, are you okay with that?
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: yeah, I mean just any type of book can they read?
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: If you can read, that's a huge.
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: I mean yeah yeah, yeah, you know what I mean, but have the focus to actually read an entire book or a novel.
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: I'm not trying to judge what you read you know what Definitely judge.
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: Fuck it.
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: It sounds very judgy.
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: I'm fucking doing it.
• 51:14
  Speaker 2: It would be dope if you were a reader.
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: Uh-huh, that's cool, whatever.
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: But I mean audiobooks.
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: it's better neurologically to actually read a book For real, Because you're reading the pages.
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: It's different than listening.
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's facts.
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, hey, that's what's up.
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: When I'm training exercises in the army or when we're out in the field, I actually bring a book.
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: And, yeah, I do.
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: I'm not on Netflix or nothing.
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: I go back and forth.
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: Oh, really, uh, yeah, I do, I'm not, I'm not on netflix, or nothing, I'm just back and forth oh really, from netflix to book I have an audio.
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: No, like I have an audio book oh and then I have I'm reading like four different books right now, and then I have, like I have an audio book, I'm listening, I'm listening, to spare, uh-huh, the one about, um, prince harry oh it's pretty interesting is it?
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: yeah, because he has a pretty interesting perspective, being like not the king, he's, he's like the prince, you know yeah, it's interesting, like how much the media has like um scrutinized him yeah, yeah his whole life and like then that's the book's called spare.
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: Like he's just like the spare person.
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: Like that's fucked up dude, like what?
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: oh shit, I didn't think about it like that in the military.
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know that.
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: So I I know that, so right now I'm in those chapters and it's pretty interesting.
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: Let me ask you you're reading four different types of books right now.
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: How do you keep them separate?
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: They're separate books.
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: No shit, but I'm just saying how do you not intertwine the plots from each book?
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: Because if I was reading reading maybe I'm just not as smart as you, but if I was reading four books at the same time I'd definitely be like, oh shit, this character is supposed to be in that book.
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: Um, this plot is in this book.
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: I'll be totally fucked okay, okay, well, I guess one easy.
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: I don't really know, but I think one easy way is like one book, for example, is written by like Trump's relative, so that's like all about Trump.
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: Oh, ok, that one's easy.
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: And then the other one is like a story, so like obviously the characters in the story have nothing to do with Trump.
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, In my mind I can separate those.
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: fine, but there's a couple others, too, that I'm reading.
• 53:25
  Speaker 2: Um, there's a couple others, too, that I'm reading, but, uh, like, one one is really just about like the mind and like consciousness.
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I don't know, they're just so.
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: I guess that's probably it.
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: To be in your brain, Lucy, I'd have fun.
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: I'd be like.
• 53:41
  Speaker 2: I found an interesting life.
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll say yeah, we all do.
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, lucy, that was fun.
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: That was fun.
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: That was fucking fun as hell.
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: Do you have any shoutouts or anything before we dip out?
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: Kamaka Diaz, come on my podcast.
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, kamaka Diaz.
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, boy, if anyone has any, any single Very minimal.
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: Crazy Kind People want to hang out.
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: That could pump her own gas yeah.
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, honest points if you cook.
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: Cook what kind?
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: I'm like shouting out to my future wife right now.
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, if you could cook, if you cook I love food If you're a sweetheart and if you celebrate holidays and you have minimal family trauma.
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: Holla holler at her.
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: Uh, where can these people find you at?
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: um, oh my god, my shit's so.
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: So you can watch my podcast, lucy's paradise podcast, or add me on instagram lucy in the gym with weights there it is, gang, gang, ho, uh.
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: With that being said, shout out to KO Studios.
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: Thank you for the lovely home, rafi Bayi.
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: Thank you for the lovely beats man.
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: I'm Chris, I'm Lucy.
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there it is, and we out this bitch.
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: Peace, aloha, aloha.
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: What the fuck, yay.