Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / Who You Become After Pressure 5/7: Carrying Strength Without Hardening. Strength that survives pressure doesn’t have to shut down. #FinishStrongFriday

Transcript

Who You Become After Pressure 5/7: Carrying Strength Without Hardening. Strength that survives pressure doesn’t have to shut down. #FinishStrongFriday · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Fatigue doesn't create limits, it reveals the ones you've been living under.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's the facts.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Beautiful souls.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, hello, hello.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: This is Finish Strong Friday, and you are listening to the sweet spot.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet, I'm your host.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: As you know, I'm a board-certified psychiatrist.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: I work with high performers, elite performers, and guess what?
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: More than that, I am your partner, your soulmate here on the journey, on this incredible journey that we're taking through the mystery we call life.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: So we've been in an incredible series this week.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's been an incredible series.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: We're calling this series What to do with pressure.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Not just what to do with it, but who you become after pressure more precisely, who you become after pressure.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: And this episode is called Carrying Strength Without Hardening.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: How do you carry strength without becoming hard?
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Without letting fatigue ruin your flexibility.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Fatigue reveals what pressure has been teaching you all along.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: Fatigue reveals what the limits are.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't create them, it reveals the ones we've been living under.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: My beautiful soul, my sweet spotter, my sweet champ, and my sweet winner.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Let's review what's been happening all week with this series, who you become after pressure.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Monday, Making Moves Monday, we said pressure changes your identity.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, pressure forms diamonds.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: It takes carbon, remember, we talked about that carbon that's under the earth.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: And when it when it when it encounters pressure, it changes just like you change.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: And on Take Action Tuesday, we said you don't need clarity to move.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's a mistake.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: You need to move, and then you'll find clarity if you move with alignment.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Check that out.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Wednesday, when it all Wednesday, we said winning can look different if you don't just focus on outcomes.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: And yesterday we talked about trust, didn't we?
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: We said that it gets cleaner the more discerning you are, and especially when you've looked at patterns over just looking at what you hope for.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure you check that out too.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Today, today we find ourselves about what and about what happens when your energy drops.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because guess what, beautiful souls?
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Energy does drop.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: You do get tired, you do get fatigued.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes people think that fatigue means that they've failed, that they've messed up.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's not really true.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: What fatigue means is that you've found a truth.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's not weakness, it's not laziness, it's not a character flaw.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Fatigue is just your nervous system saying, Hey, Dr.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: Sweet, I can't carry what I used to carry the same way anymore.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Dude, I'm tired.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's me talking to me, right?
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the part that people miss fatigue doesn't show up at the beginning of pressure, as we said in our other series, The Ceilings You Can't See.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Fatigue doesn't show up at the beginning of pressure.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: You know when it shows up?
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Late.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: When the adrenaline wears off, when the urgency fades, when the urgency is no longer there.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: It shows up when the performance ends and the body finally gets a chance to speak.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's why so many people stall at the end of something and not at the start.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, at the beginning, everybody is a champion.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody's got game, everybody's got all this energy.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: But let the duration, the obstacles, the challenge, the mountain climb is where you really separate who's gonna finish and who's not.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's easy at the bottom of the mountain, but when you get up there with the harsh winds and the elements and all of the setbacks that come with a mountain climb, not everybody's gonna finish.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Many people are gonna stall.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what today is all about.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Today is all about how are we going to finish?
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: What does pressure have to do with finishing?
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk about the signs for a moment because that matters.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Here on the sweet spot, we are blending signs, soul, and success always.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Under prolonged pressure, your nervous system runs on stress chemistry, adrenaline, and cortisol.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Go mode.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: That chemistry is not bad chemistry, it's useful temporarily.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: You don't want these things running through you all the time, and that's what stress is all about.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: That's what an overactive nervous systems are all about.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: Too much adrenaline, too much cortisol, too much hyperactivation of your HPA access.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: But I digress.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: When your stress hormones stay elevated or your neurotransmitters stay elevated too long, the body does something super intelligent.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: You can't mess with the body, the body is gonna do things, it's not gonna ask you either, it's just gonna do it.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: The body downshifts when it realizes that you've been under too much stress.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Your motivation feels lower, your energy feels flatter, tolerance gets thin, you narrow your focus on things.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: You just don't want to do as much anymore because you need the break.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Not because you're weak, but because your system is trying to protect you from the long-term damage.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's not the body betraying you, my friend.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's your body telling you the truth.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: The danger isn't the fatigue.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: We treat fatigue like it's danger.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: No, the danger is interpreting fatigue as some kind of failure, like something is wrong.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually telling you it's great information.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: And what better day than Finish Strong Friday to look at fatigue as information?
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the trap.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Here's where people split.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Some people respond to fatigue by hardening up.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: They say, I'll just push through, I'll grind, I'll stop feeling anything.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just gonna shut it down and finish, and I'm gonna push through.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: As even as I'm saying this, I can feel my arteries just like tightening up, my body is tight, like I'm in grind mode.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Not great.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: So some people they harden, they grind.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know what happens to other people?
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: They just collapse, they just say, Hey, you know, I can't do this anymore, I'm done.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have what it takes, and they just collapse.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: And guess what?
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Both extremes are not great.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: There's a third way to handle fatigue, and it's maybe a bit more quiet.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: You know, before I even tell you what that is, let's look at the ancient scriptures, let's look at the ancient wisdom.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because scripture has a way of giving us revelation so that we can grasp what we need today.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Scripture names this moment with surprising clarity that I'm about to share.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: Think about Elijah in the Bible, right?
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: He had just come off, he was like a bad dude, like he was the prophet, he could do all kinds of things, you know, call down fire from heaven the whole night.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Elijah was just coming off one of his hugest like wins, fire from heaven, victory, proof, showing the power of God.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like most high-level performers, or whatever you want to call this, his pressure, all of that caught up with him.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: He runs away, he collapses, he wants out.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: The message Bible, I'm sorry, KJV, I'm getting there.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: The message Bible says Elijah went a day's journey into the wilderness after that big episode where he showed all of God's power and came to a broom bush, collapsed in its shade, and wanted in on death.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's in 1 Kings 19, verse 4.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Think about that.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: He has this big victory, he's doing really great, he expends all that energy, and now he's like, Oh my god, I'm done.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so exhausted.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: It says right there, wanted in on death.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: This is not the same Elijah at the beginning of the pressure.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: This is not the same Elijah that called down the fires from heaven and showed the power of God.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: This is Elijah after pressure, this is post-pressure, Elijah.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever been in a situation where after you've done a big thing, a big performance, a big game, a big presentation, maybe it was a big party, anything that was huge.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: And that's that feeling after it's done, you do great, you do fantastic work, and then after it's all done, you're not worth the a penny.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: You're just zonked.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it was a huge exam.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: I remember like after my my board exam, sometimes it would just be like a bag of bones lying on the ground.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so tired, I studied so hard.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's where Elijah was when it says he wanted in on death.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's a big deal.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: That's a big deal to be that tired, to be that um exhausted.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, that's post-victory fatigue.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: And guess what?
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: God has to come in and talk to this dude.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: God has to find him and give him some help.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: What does God do?
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Not a speech, God doesn't reprimand him, doesn't say, hey, you slacker, get up.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: No pep talk, no come on, man, you can do this.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: No, you know what God does?
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: God is the ultimate recovery expert.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: He gives him what?
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: Sleep a couple of times, puts him to sleep, then after that, he gives him what?
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: Food.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta read it yourself, it's really cool.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: And then after that, he gives him some more rest.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: And only after he's done this recovery work does he then ask him a question.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because homeboy, okay, Elijah was in a cave, like he went to his cave.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever gone to your cave?
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever been in a cave?
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: Put yourself in that isolated space.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: I know I have that dark little room where you just want to be like, oh my god, alone.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: The order in which God what am I sharing?
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: There's a sequence.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, we were talking about it's not about speed, it's about sequence.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: We've been drilling that in when we're talking about pressure.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Don't respond fast, respond with a sequence.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: And God responded to this dude with a sequence.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: He gave him a sequence, and the order matters.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: Elijah did not get direction until his system was stable.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Fatigue didn't disqualify him, it just told the truth about his limits.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: So don't I don't judge him for that.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: And God was listening.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: God listened.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: That was the first thing God did.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: God was like, What's going on with you?
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Why are you here?
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Why what's going on why are you in this cave?
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: What's going on?
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: And you think God didn't know?
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, God knew why he was in the cave, but this was just to hear him talk.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: Let it let it out.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, God is modeling the most high models for us.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: A sequence and the importance of listening.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: God did not ask Elijah to be stronger, He helped him recover and find his strength.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: That is not indulgence, that is wisdom.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: That is wisdom.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where finishing strong gets misunderstood, right?
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, finishing strong doesn't mean hardening, it doesn't mean numbing out, it doesn't mean ignoring what your body and mind are telling you.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: This ancient wisdom took note of that and slowed down enough to talk about food and nutrition and rest and recovery.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's important stuff.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's really cool.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: Talk about managing post-victory fatigue or post-event fatigue, receiving quiet care from the most high, letting the divine energy re-anchor your identity and purpose so you don't quit.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: You see, Elijah wins the ultimate spiritual showdown, and then he crashes into a cave.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I saw in the ancient wisdom.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then the most high, almighty, the divine one, meets him there in the cave.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: Not to shame him, but to reset him.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: He saw the pressure.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, he reset him so he could what?
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: Finish strong in his calling.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the same pattern.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, we talked about patterns.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's the same pattern God wants for us.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's the same divine order after our big wins or our big disappointments.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: You see, you won't be left in the cave.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: You're met in the cave, you're met in the darkness, and you're gonna be led back to your mission, but you've gotta take care of the body you're in.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: You've got to rest.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: God gives rest, truth, and companionship.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: God just doesn't rescue him from death, he prepares him to finish his race with integrity, and he'll do the same for you.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, maybe it's not God for you.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever works for you, whatever your belief is, whatever your higher power is, your higher purpose, whatever that is, you need that to finish the race.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: You don't just finish the race on your own because in the human body we're living in, it gets tired, it gets depleted.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the science, right?
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: You push up the adrenaline, you push up the cortisol, you're riding high.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: What do you think is gonna happen neurologically or or physiologically when those neurotransmitters and hormones drop in your body?
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: Your body reads it like a like a drop in energy, and you feel exhausted and zonked physically.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: Not the best time to make decisions.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: Don't let pressure make that your identity.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: Recover.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: For the athletes and performers listening out there, do the recovery.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's in the ancient wisdom.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: And for everyone else, the rest of us who are not maybe uh elite athletes, take the time to rest.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: Take the time to rest and finish strong so you can finish strong.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: Don't let fatigue change you into a new identity that just quits.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's the whole idea here.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: This is where finish strong gets misunderstood.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean hardening, it doesn't mean numbing out.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: It could look like keeping your integrity when you're tired, staying kind when it would be easier to get like edgy and get frosty, maybe not doing that.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Holding your boundaries instead of just collapsing them because you're tired and using that as a slick excuse to like do things that you know you shouldn't be doing.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'm so tired, whatever.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: No, that does not work.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: Or doing, you know, sometimes finishing strong can look like look, just do fewer things, but do them clean.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: Do less, but do it with integrity.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's strength without armor.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: So, my friends, as we tie up this Finish Strong Friday, here's the move.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: When fatigue shows up, don't ask what's wrong with me, what's going on here.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: Ask instead, ask this instead.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: What is the what is this fatigue protecting me from?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's the question.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'll say it again.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: What is this fatigue protecting me from?
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know how many of us don't ask that question when we feel fatigue?
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: We just push through, we ignore it, we grind on it.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself though, because it changes everything.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: Once your prefrontal cortex hears this question, it changes everything.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: It shifts you from self-attack to self-understanding.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: It calms the nervous system, it helps you respond instead of reacting because you've asked yourself a question.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's why the Most High God asks Elijah in the cage, What are you doing here?
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's why he asks Adam in the garden, hey, where are you?
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: These are questions to help your prefrontal cortex kind of think and reorganize and reset itself.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself the question.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: Don't just say, hey, I'm fatigued, I'm really tired.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: What is it trying to protect me from?
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Once your prefrontal cortex gets that, once your brain understands that, it's going to help reveal to you what you need to do.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes when you ask that question, what is it protecting me from?
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: The answer might be overcommitment.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: The answer might be old expectations.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: It might be your outdated definition of strength.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: It might be from you.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: Alright?
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I want you to walk away with this line.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: Strength that survives pressure doesn't harden, it refines, it just doesn't harden, it gets refined.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: And your refined strength, my friend, knows when to push and when to pause without quitting.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's refined strength.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: You're not just gonna be a brute, you're gonna be refined, you're gonna know when to calibrate, how to do this.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: And tomorrow we'll do even we'll go even deeper into this because tomorrow is self-care Saturday, and we're going to talk about rest.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: Not as recovery from weakness, but as integration.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we have a whole new perspective on that.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because after pressure, you don't just need to rest and then keep going, you need to rest to become whole.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: And once you become integrated, you'll make an even better decision.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: You've been listening to the sweet spot, dear friend.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: If today gave you permission to listen to your fatigue without judging yourself, I want you to subscribe.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's absolutely free.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to share this with someone who you know is grinding or who is quietly pushing, somebody you admire or you observe is just really in it.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: To let them know that they're good.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: They're good.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: They're not failing, they're not losing anything, they're just refining that strength.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's what matters today.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll see you tomorrow.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: This is Dr.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: Sweet, and you've been listening to The Sweet Spot.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: Finish strong.