Latest / The REALationship Method / Cheesecake Factory Isn't Trash, Fake Collabs, and Red Flags in Casual Dating with Zakaila

Transcript

Cheesecake Factory Isn't Trash, Fake Collabs, and Red Flags in Casual Dating with Zakaila · The REALationship Method

0:06
SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to another episode of the Relationship Method podcast.
0:09
SPEAKER_01: Today is a very special one.
0:10
SPEAKER_01: I have um a model.
0:12
SPEAKER_01: She's also she just we just talked, she also has a YouTube channel.
0:16
SPEAKER_01: And um I met her last night at a at a gig.
0:20
SPEAKER_01: Or what can I can I call it a gig?
0:22
SPEAKER_01: I think a networking, a networking thing.
0:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I got Zachyla on this.
0:29
SPEAKER_01: Beep.
0:30
SPEAKER_01: Yay! Hey girl, how you doing?
0:33
SPEAKER_00: I'm good, doing good.
0:34
SPEAKER_01: Doing good?
0:35
SPEAKER_01: Uh before we start going, like how did this happen?
0:38
SPEAKER_01: Like you coming on here?
0:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, I think you just reached out to me on Instagram.
0:43
SPEAKER_00: And it's funny because I get like an overflow of DMs sometimes.
0:47
SPEAKER_00: I think you had reached out previously and I must have missed it.
0:49
SPEAKER_02: Uh huh.
0:50
SPEAKER_00: I just get like so overwhelmed sometimes with the DMs or like responding like to stuff.
0:54
SPEAKER_00: But um, and then I saw, and it's funny because when you reached out again, I think I had been seeing you now more like in the modeling network and your podcasts.
1:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:01
SPEAKER_00: And so I was like, oh, I think I've seen this guy.
1:03
SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
1:04
SPEAKER_00: So we ended up just meeting on Instagram and then meeting officially yesterday at the mixer, yeah.
1:09
SPEAKER_01: So shooting your shot um was worth it with this one, yeah.
1:14
SPEAKER_01: Um, speaking of DMs, like uh your inbox, is it like an influx of DMs from like, you know, horny people or just people you don't know, or it's it's all random.
1:25
SPEAKER_00: It could be like a random guy sitting on me, it could be just brands wanting to work.
1:29
SPEAKER_00: I think the most like what makes it overwhelming is now there's so much spam and scams, and they try to filter them out, but it's just like, hey, we want to send you this, but like pay for it.
1:37
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, what?
1:38
SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't even know.
1:39
SPEAKER_01: Definitely a scam.
1:39
SPEAKER_01: I got the yeah.
1:40
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I don't even know who you are, what your brand is.
1:42
SPEAKER_00: You know, if I want to support you, of course I will, but don't come to me like it's an offer, please.
1:46
SPEAKER_00: Like, just they're all you know, so much more scams nowadays with social media.
1:50
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, that's what making it's just like filtering through what's going on.
1:55
SPEAKER_01: I need a break, but so uh so we question with that like how do you know the real ones from like the fake ones?
2:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think that's like with YouTube, all of that.
2:04
SPEAKER_00: Like when I started and Instagram, all the social media, you really you had just have to figure it out because I feel like when I got, I would say, my first deal or what I thought it was with my YouTube channel, it wasn't really, you know, it was like, oh, we'll send you these brushes for with a discount code, and you can purchase them with a discount and then use them in your videos.
2:22
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, oh my gosh, they want to work with me.
2:24
SPEAKER_00: And really, I'm like, that's not really like Did you get brushes?
2:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but I like paid for them with a discount code, and that's not really a collaboration if you're coming to me, you know.
2:32
SPEAKER_00: So it's kind of stuff like that.
2:34
SPEAKER_00: And it's similar with you know, modeling too.
2:35
SPEAKER_00: You kind of have to figure out where people are trying to scam you a little bit, yeah.
2:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, just filtering through some of that stuff.
2:43
SPEAKER_01: Oh, girl, let me tell you about these scams, right?
2:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I got duped.
2:46
SPEAKER_01: I thought I was gonna get like stoochy shirts, right?
2:49
SPEAKER_01: I like stoosy shirts, I'm not gonna pay no$80 for one, but there's this website or something that was like you get five for$25 or something, or five for$30.
2:59
SPEAKER_01: I was like, hey, that's a pretty good deal.
3:00
SPEAKER_01: And then I saw other people liking it, right?
3:03
SPEAKER_01: Like people that I follow on social media, they're liking it.
3:07
SPEAKER_01: So I thought it was legit.
3:08
SPEAKER_00: It's credibility.
3:08
SPEAKER_01: What I didn't get my stuff.
3:10
SPEAKER_01: I I missed out on$30, so I'm not doing any online shopping for a good while.
3:16
SPEAKER_01: Unless it's like Etsy or you know what I'm saying, or Amazon or whatnot, or like the legit websites, or you yeah, it's more trusted.
3:24
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
3:24
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
3:25
SPEAKER_00: TikTok shop, actually.
3:26
SPEAKER_00: And I never bought anything again because I just never got my product.
3:28
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, okay, it was only yeah, it was only like 16 bucks, but I'm like, all right.
3:33
SPEAKER_01: Right.
3:34
SPEAKER_01: Like, how are these people getting away with it?
3:36
SPEAKER_01: I really don't know.
3:37
SPEAKER_00: It's so weird.
3:37
SPEAKER_01: But it's um, did you do you ever get scared of them getting your like credit card information because it is out there now?
3:45
SPEAKER_00: I guess especially like on TikTok shop.
3:49
SPEAKER_00: So like it's probably not too hard to get that info nowadays, you know?
3:52
SPEAKER_00: It's all you know, it's all on my online accounts for whatever subscriptions.
3:57
SPEAKER_01: Oh man, God take the wheel on this one.
3:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like please.
3:59
SPEAKER_00: So it takes one company to screw me over, right?
4:03
SPEAKER_01: Girl, so um, it is Super Bowl weekend, Seahawks fan.
4:07
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
4:07
SPEAKER_01: Um, you have no accent?
4:09
SPEAKER_01: Are you an OG Hawaii or like where are you coming from?
4:13
SPEAKER_00: I am Seattle born and raised.
4:14
SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, I moved to Hawaii during COVID, 2020.
4:18
SPEAKER_00: So I've been here about five and a half years.
4:20
SPEAKER_01: Really?
4:21
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, no accent.
4:22
SPEAKER_00: So I'm I'm Seattle girl.
4:24
SPEAKER_01: Ooh, okay, we'll talk about that.
4:26
SPEAKER_01: Um wait, what was my question?
4:28
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I was um I was stationed in Seattle, JBLM.
4:31
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I'm pretty familiar with like Tacompton, Peyallop, and um Lacey and all those nice places.
4:37
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, South Washington.
4:38
SPEAKER_01: Were you up north?
4:39
SPEAKER_00: Um Seattle, um, Seattle kind of in a row.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: There's like the I-90, and there's a bunch of like bigger cities.
4:45
SPEAKER_00: Um, so I'm from like Bellevue, Brenton, all of those like area.
4:49
SPEAKER_00: I guess right around like Washington, like Bremerton.
4:52
SPEAKER_01: Um is that Tuvara?
4:53
SPEAKER_00: That's like um kind of like in the Puget Sound.
4:55
SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
4:56
SPEAKER_00: It's like that, it's not exactly the islands, but it's around the peninsula, I think.
4:59
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, it's they're all around the yeah, greater Seattle area.
5:03
SPEAKER_00: Okay, which is like Tacoma, uh is it true?
5:06
SPEAKER_01: Because I didn't get this in Seattle, that it's a gloomy state.
5:09
SPEAKER_01: I did not, I didn't get that because you know, coming from California, it's always cloudy, and you know, we get them.
5:15
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, where I'm from, it's cloudy, and then it's such we get the Indian summers where we don't get a good summer, but we get fall, but it's super hot.
5:23
SPEAKER_00: Are you like Northern California then?
5:24
SPEAKER_01: I'm like in the middle, like Central Coast, Monterey, Santa Cruz area.
5:28
SPEAKER_00: I've done a few road trips down the 101.
5:30
SPEAKER_01: Oh, the 101?
5:31
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
5:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's a uh that's a trip.
5:33
SPEAKER_01: Yes, that's a trip, girl.
5:36
SPEAKER_01: Um, well, yeah, what made you move out here in 2020?
5:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, actually, I was saving, so I had this nanny job that was banking real well for me.
5:44
SPEAKER_00: It was like two families, and so I was in school and also saving for like two years to travel the world.
5:50
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
5:51
SPEAKER_00: Some with like a travel group and some solo, like in Southeast Asia, like Thailand and stuff.
5:56
SPEAKER_00: Um, but then COVID hit, and like six months in, I'm like, okay, this isn't gonna be solved.
6:00
SPEAKER_00: You know, I was like kind of hanging on, I was like okay, we'll just see how it goes.
6:03
SPEAKER_00: But after that, I was like, okay, I'm gonna take my money and invest it elsewhere because I was actually like pretty depressed.
6:08
SPEAKER_00: I'd been working so hard on that trip, and traveling is really important to me, culture, all of that.
6:13
SPEAKER_00: Um, I grew up in Spanish immersion programs, so I learned to read and write in Spanish before English and all of that, all about their culture versus like American culture.
6:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
6:22
SPEAKER_00: Um, so yeah, culture and like just traveling and getting out there and learning is like one of my biggest dreams.
6:27
SPEAKER_00: Um, so yeah, I was pretty sad about that.
6:29
SPEAKER_00: And so I ended up, my mom, we had a conversation, she's like, you know, everyone's going through this in some way, everybody's plans got halted.
6:36
SPEAKER_00: Um, so how are you gonna pivot?
6:37
SPEAKER_00: What are you gonna do?
6:38
SPEAKER_00: And so I ended up was like, you know what, I'm gonna take that money.
6:41
SPEAKER_00: I had a childhood dream of living in Hawaii and being a hula dancer.
6:44
SPEAKER_00: And wow, it's kind of silly, but I my family's my grandma specifically loves Hawaii, so we blame her.
6:50
SPEAKER_00: My mom plays her.
6:51
SPEAKER_00: Um, my aunt got married on Maui, and that's the first time I came when I was like third grade.
6:56
SPEAKER_00: Um, and so I kind of like piggybacked on that dream.
6:59
SPEAKER_00: I was like, okay, well, I can't go out of the country, but I can go move somewhere else that's rich in culture.
7:04
SPEAKER_00: And Hawaii was like the closest in America, yeah.
7:06
SPEAKER_00: In a way that I could do that.
7:08
SPEAKER_00: I mean, of course, there's plenty of places, you know, South California that are rich in different cultures too.
7:13
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, kind of piggybacking on an old dream, I guess I should say.
7:16
SPEAKER_00: So it's been fun because I've realized a lot more childhood dreams by doing that.
7:23
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
7:23
SPEAKER_01: Oh, so you just up and picked up and just moved out.
7:26
SPEAKER_00: Literally, like six weeks.
7:27
SPEAKER_00: My family was like, we didn't even have time to prepare.
7:30
SPEAKER_01: Like, oh really?
7:31
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was just like, yeah, I'm I'm leaving in two months.
7:33
SPEAKER_00: I have an Airbnb for three months.
7:35
SPEAKER_00: So if it doesn't work out, then I'll be coming back.
7:37
SPEAKER_00: And I had a nice break, but I ended up finding a job, finding an apartment, and and I didn't come back.
7:45
SPEAKER_00: We thought you would come back eventually.
7:46
SPEAKER_01: Do you have um do you have plans on going back to the mainland or is Hawaii the permanent destination?
7:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I guess.
7:53
SPEAKER_00: Like my partner's here and he's born and raised Eva um Salt Lake.
7:57
SPEAKER_00: So he loves it here.
7:58
SPEAKER_00: I love it here too.
7:59
SPEAKER_00: I think there's plus and minuses to both.
8:01
SPEAKER_01: And I could I I could yeah.
8:03
SPEAKER_00: So I mean, honestly, if we could like be in both locations, that would be ideal, like a dream to have spots in both.
8:09
SPEAKER_00: Because we both, I mean, I manage his band, we're very rooted in like the local music scene here.
8:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
8:14
SPEAKER_00: Modeling, dancing, all the stuff I do, I feel like I can do anywhere, but I do Tahitian dance now and I love it, and it'll be so much harder to find.
8:21
SPEAKER_01: Is uh is Tahitian dancer uh nine to five, or is that like your teaching?
8:25
SPEAKER_00: No, that's just my what I love to do.
8:26
SPEAKER_00: Oh, really?
8:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I've I grew up competitive dancer, cheerleader, gymnast.
8:31
SPEAKER_00: So that's me like kind of going back into just performing and dancing a little bit for fun.
8:36
SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, my day job is teaching.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: I'm a teacher, nanny.
8:39
SPEAKER_01: No way, yeah.
8:40
SPEAKER_01: So you're a nanny and a teacher.
8:42
SPEAKER_00: I kind of switch back depending on right now.
8:44
SPEAKER_00: I'm a nanny.
8:45
SPEAKER_01: Like a substitute teacher?
8:47
SPEAKER_00: No, I'm like preschool.
8:48
SPEAKER_00: Usually I didn't be younger.
8:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
8:49
SPEAKER_00: Well, my last actually nanny job was homeschooling six kids.
8:53
SPEAKER_00: Um they're all siblings, and so that was like elementary age kids.
8:57
unknown: Oh.
8:58
SPEAKER_00: That was that was different, but no, I love them so much.
9:00
SPEAKER_00: I miss them.
9:00
SPEAKER_01: How'd you get into this whole teaching gig?
9:03
SPEAKER_00: Oh, my actually, my aunt is um, she has an in-home daycare.
9:07
SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
9:08
SPEAKER_00: Um, back in Seattle.
9:09
SPEAKER_00: So I guess I have no siblings.
9:10
SPEAKER_00: So I guess I started with babysitting.
9:12
SPEAKER_00: I was like a really responsible kid.
9:14
SPEAKER_00: I started babysitting and I had a nanny job in like seventh grade.
9:17
SPEAKER_00: I like for over the summer, yeah, eight hours.
9:20
SPEAKER_00: I thought I was banking back then, but it was like a full-time job kind of for that summer.
9:25
SPEAKER_00: So I yeah, that was where I got my experience, and it kind of just kept piggybacking.
9:29
SPEAKER_00: Once I graduated high school, I worked for her.
9:31
SPEAKER_00: Um well, I came back from college at Wazdo.
9:34
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't it was too far away.
9:35
SPEAKER_00: I didn't like it.
9:36
SPEAKER_00: So I was like re-figuring out what I was doing, and I was like, She's like, hey, you want to come work for me?
9:40
SPEAKER_00: I was like, Yeah, why not?
9:41
SPEAKER_00: It's a job getting situated, and I was there for like three years, and yeah, I kept like getting different experiences after that in preschool, other nannies.
9:49
SPEAKER_00: So I feel like I've done like so much child care related stuff.
9:52
SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah.
9:53
SPEAKER_01: What are the challenges of um like teaching like preschool kids?
10:00
SPEAKER_00: I love preschool kids.
10:01
SPEAKER_00: People think I'm nuts, but I think every age has their like thing that could drive someone nuts.
10:06
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
10:06
SPEAKER_00: Like for me, the babies, like I love babies, but I need a little bit more communication than being screamed at all the time.
10:13
SPEAKER_00: Um the two-year-olds, at least we can talk.
10:15
SPEAKER_00: You know, they're gonna be unreasonable, of course.
10:17
SPEAKER_00: But I think I mean two year olds just have big emotions, preschoolers.
10:21
SPEAKER_00: I think that's the main thing, but I'm an empath, so I'm really good at like helping them figure out what they need to calm down or how we can what they need to like get to wherever we're trying to go.
10:32
SPEAKER_00: So that's why I think that age is really good for me, is I can they can communicate a little bit and I can figure out what they need, hypothetically, I guess.
10:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, yeah.
10:42
SPEAKER_00: So I think now what's getting exhausting with kids is more the parents.
10:46
SPEAKER_01: Oh, because they're getting more involved.
10:48
SPEAKER_00: They're just yeah.
10:49
SPEAKER_00: They're the parenting style is changing and it is, it has changed.
10:52
SPEAKER_00: And it's like, ooh, yeah, I might end up quitting just because of the parents, not because of the kids.
10:56
SPEAKER_00: Oh wow.
10:58
SPEAKER_00: And I hear a lot of teachers say that too, unfortunately.
11:01
SPEAKER_00: But it's yeah, like it's just kind of like let us do our job, you know, stuff like that.
11:05
SPEAKER_01: So down the road, like, would you ever teach, like, say, middle school or grade?
11:11
SPEAKER_01: No.
11:11
SPEAKER_00: Well, maybe elementary.
11:13
SPEAKER_00: Like, I've that's why I kind of my last job that was like homeschooling with older kids.
11:17
SPEAKER_00: I wanted to see if I could go older because I had been like five and under for so long.
11:21
SPEAKER_00: And yeah, I I can go to elementary school.
11:23
SPEAKER_00: They're they're more crazy and like have so much energy and like talked my ear off.
11:27
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, but I can do it.
11:29
SPEAKER_00: But I don't know if I will again because of the parents.
11:31
SPEAKER_00: It's so much like when I had my own preschool class to manage, yeah.
11:35
SPEAKER_00: I didn't have a second teacher because no one could handle being in that class with me.
11:38
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
11:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's nuts.
11:39
SPEAKER_00: Um, but I had 10 kids to myself, and I'm like, I think just I love the job so much, and that's what they need is teachers who love it, but they don't pay us.
11:49
SPEAKER_00: They don't, you know, they don't pay us enough.
11:50
SPEAKER_00: They don't Yeah, yeah.
11:51
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
11:52
SPEAKER_00: And it literally was yeah, so exhausting.
11:55
SPEAKER_00: Like I would be so drained, and it sucks.
11:57
SPEAKER_00: Like putting your own money and resources into your classroom and like loving it that much and just like not like getting your cup filled back up, basically.
12:04
SPEAKER_00: It's just like just constantly like losing some, I guess.
12:08
SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
12:09
SPEAKER_00: It sucks, yeah.
12:11
SPEAKER_00: I love it, but it's like it's it's so draining.
12:13
SPEAKER_00: That's just what it is.
12:14
SPEAKER_01: Oh, definitely.
12:14
SPEAKER_01: I could only imagine.
12:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they don't provide enough.
12:17
SPEAKER_00: I wish that's what people always say just provide teachers with more resources so they can we can have the good ones, you know what I mean, who actually truly love the job.
12:25
SPEAKER_00: That's what that's what we need.
12:26
SPEAKER_01: No, that's that's super sad because uh my kids are in sports and I see parents super involved, like talking to the revs, talking trash.
12:34
SPEAKER_01: I'm just like, dude, this it's just a game, you know, like let kids be kids.
12:38
SPEAKER_01: Let because I tell my wife all the time, uh I have two little ones, eight and ten, they're always bickering.
12:45
SPEAKER_01: I'm just like, yo, let them figure it out.
12:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like we need because uh if they're doing that, like say on the playground, mom and dad or another will not be there.
12:54
SPEAKER_01: So they have to like figure that stuff out on their own.
12:56
SPEAKER_01: Like if someone gets punched, someone gets punched.
12:58
SPEAKER_01: But if like if they could walk away or like resolve it by like talking out, like, okay, oh my bad, I'm sorry.
13:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, this and the third.
13:06
SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's a that's a win.
13:07
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
13:08
SPEAKER_00: That's one of the biggest things is letting your kids like figure things out.
13:11
SPEAKER_00: Even like they I'll see like parents run and pick up their kid and they can't.
13:14
SPEAKER_00: Yes, oh my god.
13:15
SPEAKER_00: I'll leave them laughing.
13:16
SPEAKER_00: Not like if they're seriously injured, but they just tripped.
13:18
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, yeah, I'll just watch them and like get up.
13:20
SPEAKER_01: Yes, like you give them the look, right?
13:22
SPEAKER_00: Just like um they'll look at me, I'm like, mm-mm.
13:25
SPEAKER_00: I'm not your mom.
13:25
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, please get up.
13:26
SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to teach you to take care of yourself.
13:28
SPEAKER_00: Stand up.
13:29
SPEAKER_00: Like I need you to be independent one day.
13:31
SPEAKER_00: I'm hopefully you're gonna, you know, grow up to be an independent adult.
13:35
SPEAKER_00: And parents are gonna do what they're gonna do, but I'm gonna try to help you in the time I have.
13:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
13:40
SPEAKER_01: Ooh, speaking of being an independent adult, what do you think of, let's say uh a kid just graduated high school?
13:50
SPEAKER_01: Um has he doesn't know or she doesn't know what he or she wants to do yet.
13:58
SPEAKER_01: How do you feel of them still living at home?
14:01
SPEAKER_00: That's a good question.
14:02
SPEAKER_00: I feel like I came from an area where every like like the wealthy area, everybody went to college.
14:08
SPEAKER_00: Everyone had money to go to college.
14:09
SPEAKER_00: That wasn't necessarily my case, but I I did go to college.
14:12
SPEAKER_00: Um, I came back and lived at home and then was going to college closer to home.
14:17
SPEAKER_00: I think um I don't think there's an issue if you have something worked out with your parents.
14:20
SPEAKER_00: I think everybody's different, like with their time.
14:22
SPEAKER_00: It kind of just depends what how the family feels.
14:25
SPEAKER_00: And what like is a kid doing something productive?
14:27
SPEAKER_00: That would be my main thing.
14:28
SPEAKER_00: Are you trying to like get a job at least while you're figuring it out and not just like lounging around forever?
14:34
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
14:35
SPEAKER_00: Like, is there some sort of plan, even if you don't have like a legit, like I know what I'm doing with my life plan, because it's probably gonna change, you know?
14:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, which is totally fine.
14:44
SPEAKER_00: But I you know, I've known people, their parents like wanted them out the second they graduated, like my gosh, that's me.
14:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like yeah, like and I feel so bad.
14:51
SPEAKER_00: Like it was like, yeah, I was like, oh my gosh, like let them like figure out life a little bit.
14:56
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, no, thankfully my family didn't do that.
14:59
SPEAKER_00: They're like, Well, if you you know, you don't have to pay rent as long as you're going to school.
15:03
SPEAKER_00: Uh and so as long as I was in school, I didn't have to.
15:05
SPEAKER_00: And then once I wasn't in school, I I paid rent until I moved out.
15:08
SPEAKER_00: But everybody's different.
15:09
SPEAKER_00: I feel like a little bit of grace, like we all had to figure out adulthood, and yeah, even being 18, that's not even real adulthood.
15:16
SPEAKER_00: You figure out once you get into your 20s, you're like oh no, I defer uh yeah.
15:20
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you if yeah, that's fair.
15:22
SPEAKER_00: If you had to like figure it out right then, you know, my mom had me at 17 and she was on her own.
15:26
SPEAKER_00: So that was like probably like true adulthood.
15:28
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
15:28
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
15:29
SPEAKER_00: Like, so that's it's probably depends on your circumstances.
15:31
SPEAKER_00: I feel like if you went to college or maybe you got to like you had a little bit more grace, you had more time to figure it out slowly.
15:37
SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
15:38
SPEAKER_00: So maybe that's why I'm like, for me, I don't feel I feel like I was like, I was an adult, but like, I don't know, it's college years, like how would you how would you do it if you had a kid and graduated high school, doesn't know what to do, and he or she is still like lounging around.
15:53
SPEAKER_01: I mean, not lounging around, but would you push him or her moving out?
15:58
SPEAKER_01: Or was would there be like some incentives or whatnot, or some deadlines that he or she has to meet and then I think that's a good question.
16:08
SPEAKER_00: I think for me it's probably just like you need to be doing something productive.
16:12
SPEAKER_00: Like, and I'm not gonna be like, oh, you graduated, get a job right the second, maybe enjoy the summer, like because I want to, you know, I'd be interested.
16:18
SPEAKER_00: Like, um, hopefully I'm asking what they're interested in and having some ideas of what they're doing if they're not, if they didn't already have a job in high school or whatever.
16:25
SPEAKER_00: I did, so that's why I say that.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: Um, but like eventually I'd be like, hey, at least get a job.
16:30
SPEAKER_00: It's okay if we don't have it figured out, just go find a retail job or something so you can at least start learning to work if you haven't done that, start getting those steps, learning to speak to customers or whatever it is.
16:42
SPEAKER_00: Um, just learning some sort of skills.
16:45
SPEAKER_00: Um, because yeah, I think just being productive, I don't like anybody lounging around with no plan forever.
16:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
16:51
SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, I I think I I raise children too that that aren't mine.
16:55
SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, I would hope that we can have some sort of like skills or plan or whatever, even if we don't have it all figured out, because I definitely don't.
17:03
SPEAKER_00: So I have the race for that for sure.
17:05
SPEAKER_01: But girl, let me tell you, okay, uh, we're gonna go in, we're gonna dig into Chris L's like life, right?
17:10
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so um I have a boy, he graduated high school, I gave him the year off.
17:15
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, right?
17:17
SPEAKER_01: So now um it's more like, okay, he told me he didn't want to go to college.
17:22
SPEAKER_01: I respected that.
17:23
SPEAKER_01: I was like, yo, you don't want to go to college?
17:25
SPEAKER_01: Hey, school is not for everyone, you know, like find something.
17:28
SPEAKER_01: So he found a job, and I was like, okay, bet, you found a job.
17:32
SPEAKER_01: But um after those, you know, those eight hours, he's just lounging, right?
17:37
SPEAKER_01: And then um, you know, I asked him, I'm like, yo, man, can you help around the house?
17:41
SPEAKER_01: He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:42
SPEAKER_01: Doesn't do it.
17:44
SPEAKER_01: So, okay, I'm like, all right, well, he has a job, whatever, this and the third.
17:49
SPEAKER_01: So now it's like it's two years after he graduated, yeah?
17:53
SPEAKER_01: Still no plans, still lounging, still on the computer, or whatever.
17:56
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
17:56
SPEAKER_01: I had to talk with him.
17:57
SPEAKER_01: I was like, yo, what are your plans, man?
17:59
SPEAKER_01: What's what's really good?
18:00
SPEAKER_01: And he was telling me, so look, I have this computer, like I'm trying to uh like learn some computer stuff, like maybe Forex, maybe some day trading.
18:09
SPEAKER_01: I don't know, whatever it is.
18:10
SPEAKER_01: But he said he's gonna try and work on his computer to get money.
18:13
SPEAKER_01: Or like trying to get trying to gain income from working on a computer so he doesn't have to go out.
18:17
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, okay, bet.
18:19
SPEAKER_01: Loop around, like uh, I'm gonna say another year later.
18:22
SPEAKER_01: I'm just like, okay, what's the status on this?
18:25
SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't wanna be like hounding on him like every month or every other week.
18:29
SPEAKER_01: So I come back like yearly, right?
18:31
SPEAKER_01: Nothing happens.
18:32
SPEAKER_01: So therefore, at this time now, I'm just like, all right, dude, you I gave you like I gave you a year or two just to chill.
18:39
SPEAKER_01: You have to drop rent now.
18:41
SPEAKER_01: You have to drop on groceries, you have to like be more like in my eyes, because I'm, you know, military thinking, I need you to be an asset and not a liability to me now.
18:51
SPEAKER_01: Because my main focus is on your two brothers and you know, your brother and sister.
18:56
SPEAKER_01: I can't, you know what I'm saying?
18:57
SPEAKER_01: Like the whole parenting thing shifted to those two.
18:59
SPEAKER_01: I can't be a parent to you.
19:01
SPEAKER_01: Like, I could give you guidance, but the whole parenting thing, you got it.
19:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I can't do everything for you.
19:05
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like you got it from like K to 12th grade.
19:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that was all me.
19:10
SPEAKER_01: That was all me and you.
19:11
SPEAKER_01: You got it, you know.
19:12
SPEAKER_01: So now it's um, me and my wife, we go back and forth because of me wanting to charge rent and utilities to the boy.
19:20
SPEAKER_01: And I'm just like, dog, it's he has to learn.
19:23
SPEAKER_01: I have to give him some type of accountability.
19:25
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
19:26
SPEAKER_01: So now, yeah, yeah.
19:27
SPEAKER_01: So now I gave him deadlines now.
19:28
SPEAKER_01: So like by this summer, he should give.
19:30
SPEAKER_01: I'm expecting like a solid resume.
19:33
SPEAKER_01: Okay, you know, like right, yeah.
19:35
SPEAKER_01: Just a resume, right?
19:36
SPEAKER_01: Yes, the resume is good.
19:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and then um, just like an active, like actively searching for a job and try to get his license.
19:43
SPEAKER_01: Because right now he's like, he's taking the bus.
19:45
SPEAKER_01: I have no problem with that because I've taken the bus until like I was like 22, 23.
19:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love the Vunk.
19:50
SPEAKER_00: We didn't even have um by high school, we didn't have school buses, we had public transportation.
19:55
SPEAKER_01: I love public transportation.
19:56
SPEAKER_00: I took the bus home, yep.
19:58
SPEAKER_01: Dude, I remember Ed, I remember Teddy, I remember my bus driver.
20:01
SPEAKER_01: We would always chop it up.
20:02
SPEAKER_01: I'm always in the back sleeping, and he'd be like, Hey man, we're at the bus stop, gotta get off.
20:07
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, all right, cool, cool, cool, cool.
20:08
SPEAKER_01: Thank you, think it, thinking, thinking.
20:09
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's the worst when you fall asleep.
20:10
SPEAKER_00: One time I woke up in a random neighborhood, I was like, they're like, this is the end of the line.
20:13
SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh, oh crap.
20:16
SPEAKER_01: How did you feel after that?
20:17
SPEAKER_00: Like, I was scared as so embarrassed because I had to call my mom and she's like, I told you you couldn't do it.
20:22
SPEAKER_00: It was a new route.
20:22
SPEAKER_00: Oh, and I'm like shy, so I didn't ask to make sure it was the right bus.
20:26
SPEAKER_00: I I don't know if it was the wrong bus or if I just didn't get off.
20:29
SPEAKER_01: Was this in Washington or was it?
20:31
SPEAKER_00: It was in Bellevue, yeah.
20:32
SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
20:33
SPEAKER_00: And yeah, there was like a transfer.
20:34
SPEAKER_00: It was when I was actually going doing driver's ed.
20:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
20:36
SPEAKER_00: There was like, it was like two buses.
20:38
SPEAKER_00: There's a transfer, and I think I messed up the transfer or I fell asleep.
20:41
SPEAKER_00: I know I fell asleep on the second bus.
20:43
SPEAKER_00: So I might have been either on the wrong bus or on the bus too long.
20:46
SPEAKER_01: Girl, my wife took the is it the monorail or the oh yeah.
20:50
SPEAKER_00: Um Seattle?
20:51
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:52
SPEAKER_00: From um, how was it the light rail, maybe from like the airport?
20:56
SPEAKER_01: No, not the light rail.
20:57
SPEAKER_01: It went to all the way up to Seattle.
21:00
SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay, yeah.
21:01
SPEAKER_01: To beat traffic.
21:03
SPEAKER_00: Did it beat traffic?
21:04
SPEAKER_00: Oh, it did beat traffic.
21:05
SPEAKER_00: Oh, definitely, yeah.
21:06
SPEAKER_01: It's just the times of going, you know, back and forth.
21:09
SPEAKER_01: Kind of sucked because it's all it's not random, but um it just took a long time to get from point A to point B.
21:17
SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay, yeah.
21:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's not like a bus.
21:19
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's it's that rail, you know?
21:21
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
21:21
SPEAKER_01: Just like how they have it over here.
21:23
SPEAKER_00: I mean There's just more stops at this one, yeah.
21:25
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's more stops, yeah.
21:27
SPEAKER_01: Ooh, girl.
21:28
SPEAKER_01: Mm-mm.
21:29
SPEAKER_01: Um, before we get to these questions, and you have a Q uh a few.
21:32
SPEAKER_01: What's your ethnicity, by the way?
21:34
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, the ones I know.
21:36
SPEAKER_01: Oh, the ones you know, no 23andMe up in there.
21:38
SPEAKER_00: No, I haven't done it.
21:39
SPEAKER_00: Uh well.
21:40
SPEAKER_00: I did order Ancestry one time, but I heard it's a hoax.
21:43
SPEAKER_00: The 23andMe like I heard that's like People say they keep your data, so that's the reason I didn't do it.
21:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was like, mm mm.
21:49
SPEAKER_00: To say no.
21:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, facts.
21:50
SPEAKER_00: And I ordered Ancestry one time, but it shipped to the wrong place.
21:54
SPEAKER_00: And they well, they didn't correct it, so I was mad enough.
21:55
SPEAKER_01: Oh, you're just like, man, I'm done.
21:56
SPEAKER_00: I was like, I'm not ordering another one, these are expensive, but yeah.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: So I'm um black, so that I don't know like what black or maybe like where, you know what I mean?
22:06
SPEAKER_00: But um black, Irish, and New Zealand.
22:08
SPEAKER_01: Oh, really?
22:09
SPEAKER_00: So my mom's side, my my mom's grandma's from we're Irish descended, and then my granddad from her side is actually from New Zealand, and he moved here to put himself through chiropractic school.
22:19
SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
22:20
SPEAKER_00: Uh or moved to the mainland to put himself through chiropractic school.
22:23
SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah.
22:24
SPEAKER_00: So there's actually a bunch of family in New Zealand I've never met.
22:27
SPEAKER_00: Oh.
22:27
SPEAKER_00: Hopefully I can get there.
22:28
SPEAKER_00: I know.
22:28
SPEAKER_01: Hopefully you could go there and be like, hey, hello.
22:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
22:31
SPEAKER_01: Hook me up.
22:32
SPEAKER_00: Some of them I'm friends with on Facebook, but Oh really?
22:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
22:35
SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, hopefully we can get over there and see them.
22:37
SPEAKER_01: I had a friend in New Zealand and he introduced me to um, what's it called?
22:40
SPEAKER_01: Meat pies.
22:41
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
22:41
SPEAKER_00: Love meat pies.
22:42
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
22:44
SPEAKER_00: So good.
22:44
SPEAKER_00: Yes, love those.
22:45
SPEAKER_01: Are you a big um, was it Blackhawks fan?
22:49
SPEAKER_01: Oh rugby.
22:50
SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm not.
22:51
SPEAKER_00: My granddad is into them.
22:52
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
22:53
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I watched a couple games and it was like, oh yeah, this is intense.
22:56
SPEAKER_01: This is way more intense than football.
22:58
SPEAKER_00: Really?
22:58
SPEAKER_01: No pads don't nothing.
22:59
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's why I'm like, ooh, that's getting like UFC a little bit.
23:02
SPEAKER_00: Too much like beating each other up.
23:04
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
23:04
SPEAKER_01: Mm-mm-mm.
23:06
SPEAKER_01: Um, you said you had a partner.
23:07
SPEAKER_01: Uh, how long have you been with your partner?
23:09
SPEAKER_01: Uh now.
23:09
SPEAKER_00: We just made four years.
23:10
SPEAKER_00: This congratulation, thank you.
23:13
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
23:13
SPEAKER_00: My longest relationship now.
23:15
SPEAKER_01: Really?
23:16
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
23:17
SPEAKER_01: Oh, um, have have how was there ever talks?
23:20
SPEAKER_01: And I don't know if this like digging in, but was there ever any talks of um him putting the ring on it?
23:25
SPEAKER_01: Or like, are you against that?
23:26
SPEAKER_01: Because I know a lot of people nowadays are like, yo, I don't want to get married.
23:30
SPEAKER_01: I just want to just be with my partner.
23:32
SPEAKER_01: But then I've talked to a few that was like, oh, I want the whole marriage thing.
23:36
SPEAKER_01: Like, what are you into?
23:38
SPEAKER_00: I think, yeah, me and him, like very early on planned out our wedding fully.
23:42
SPEAKER_00: Like, we we're both big dreamers and creators and stuff.
23:45
SPEAKER_00: So I think for that, we're just we have these businesses with his band and my, I guess, modeling, but it's not even just modeling.
23:52
SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to like build a network and then actually have my own business too.
23:55
SPEAKER_00: Um, so it's just we're trying to focus on that and be in a better place.
23:58
SPEAKER_00: Cause I think for me, like, I would love to like splurge a little bit if we get to do that.
24:03
SPEAKER_00: And I don't want to I kind of grew up a little bit poor.
24:05
SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, I wanna like, you know, little girls dream about their wedding.
24:08
SPEAKER_00: I feel like there's some stuff in my life as I go down.
24:10
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, eh, don't need it to be as extra as I thought growing up or whatever, like, especially college.
24:14
SPEAKER_00: It's like I don't need to go to the biggest school like I thought I did and pay all this money.
24:18
SPEAKER_00: Because I was like, I don't like these student loans.
24:19
SPEAKER_00: I'm just gonna pay as I go.
24:20
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, I just finally yeah, I just finally paid off my loans.
24:24
SPEAKER_00: Congrats! Yeah, oh my god, it was a I still owe so much.
24:27
SPEAKER_01: Oh, do you?
24:28
SPEAKER_00: Well, not like I hate this system, man.
24:31
SPEAKER_01: I was like, where do I fall in this you don't have to pay no more student loans category?
24:36
SPEAKER_01: Because I know there's a there's a category where I don't know if it was our last president or this president that was like, hey, no more student loans.
24:43
SPEAKER_00: Well, they were trying, I was hoping.
24:44
SPEAKER_01: I was like, Yeah, I was hoping my name came up on that.
24:46
SPEAKER_00: One semester at a state college, I'm still in debt.
24:50
SPEAKER_01: Oh, right.
24:51
SPEAKER_00: That's why I started paying after that.
24:52
SPEAKER_00: Like, nope, that's enough debt for me.
24:54
SPEAKER_00: College is a scam, motherfucker.
24:56
SPEAKER_00: YouTube has taught me so much.
24:59
SPEAKER_01: This is true.
25:00
SPEAKER_01: Um, you and your partner, before you guys got serious, what were y'all's um, in your opinion, a bad dating spot?
25:08
SPEAKER_01: Or like where did he take you where you're like, what is this?
25:13
SPEAKER_00: Honestly, I feel like we uh so we kind of started as friends first because he plays music and he ended up playing music at a bar I worked at.
25:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
25:21
SPEAKER_00: So we were actually in like, I wasn't looking at him at all like that.
25:25
SPEAKER_00: I don't know what he would say, like vice versa, but it ended up just being like I saw like his personality and that like how much of like a good person he is, like in our friend group.
25:34
SPEAKER_00: So I started to like get a crush on him.
25:36
SPEAKER_00: So as far as like bad dates, I feel like we didn't have any just because we were friends and kind of knew each other going into it, like maybe like I would say maybe bars, but like we chose probably both to go there.
25:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like as far like if there were a date.
25:49
SPEAKER_00: And now, like I feel like in the beginning we didn't like he didn't plan dates too much, like not on purpose.
25:55
SPEAKER_00: We just like we're always together, and so now we make like more of an intent to like at least like go celebrate our anniversary or go to dinner here and there with with intent because we'll go to dinner and splurge fun, like not as a plan, but it's fun to like make the plan and like know we're going to spend time together on purpose.
26:11
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I don't think we actually have like good for you.
26:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, let me ask you this.
26:15
SPEAKER_01: So there's a list going online, and this probably happened like a few months ago.
26:19
SPEAKER_00: I think I didn't.
26:20
SPEAKER_01: Um as a guy, I don't think this list is bad at all.
26:24
SPEAKER_00: I I think I showed him that list, and I'm like, why is number one Cheesecake Factory?
26:29
SPEAKER_01: Are you okay with Cheesecake Factory?
26:30
SPEAKER_01: Like say you're single and then you go, a day brings you there.
26:34
SPEAKER_01: Are you okay with that?
26:35
SPEAKER_00: Yes, they have a really big menu, and the bread's good, and you can't go wrong.
26:40
SPEAKER_00: There's so many options.
26:41
SPEAKER_01: There's a variety of wine or like liquor or whatever.
26:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
26:44
SPEAKER_01: So why is Cheesecake Factory bad?
26:46
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
26:47
SPEAKER_00: I think it's like the Drake song.
26:48
SPEAKER_01: Y'all need to trip, y'all need to stop tripping.
26:50
SPEAKER_00: He called him out why he'd always take me to Cheesecake, whatever, arguing with me at Cheesecake.
26:55
SPEAKER_00: I feel like it's that song.
26:56
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
26:57
SPEAKER_01: Mm-mm.
26:57
SPEAKER_01: No way, Cheesecake Break.
26:58
SPEAKER_01: How about a burger spot?
27:00
SPEAKER_00: Are you okay with like as a first date?
27:03
SPEAKER_00: Because like I would go with my partner.
27:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
27:06
SPEAKER_01: Okay, as a as a first date, you take a first date, I'd be like, hmm.
27:09
SPEAKER_00: Kind of weird.
27:10
SPEAKER_00: Like, I would rather just go to a park or something than like have a picnic.
27:13
SPEAKER_01: Women are really into that.
27:15
SPEAKER_01: Like, you're, I think, the seventh, eighth person that said picnic on a first date.
27:20
SPEAKER_01: What's with the picnic?
27:22
SPEAKER_00: Hmm.
27:23
SPEAKER_00: Well, I guess like if I'm thinking as a burger, I'm like, I don't really need to go to a fast food joint where there's a like drive-thru.
27:28
SPEAKER_00: That doesn't seem like you could sit down inside and get to know each other.
27:31
SPEAKER_00: It just doesn't seem like the right environment, I guess.
27:34
SPEAKER_00: Um, picnic, I don't know.
27:36
SPEAKER_00: I like being outside.
27:37
SPEAKER_00: I'm from Seattle.
27:37
SPEAKER_00: We're pretty outdoorsy.
27:39
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, you are.
27:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
27:41
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it doesn't have to be a picnic.
27:42
SPEAKER_00: It's just like my mom always tells me, like, if you're gonna go on a first date, like, don't go on a first date, go on like a zero date, which is like a coffee date.
27:49
SPEAKER_00: Kind of I kind of look at it like the picnic, like maybe not like in the woods away from people, but just like at a park, still kind of in public, but we can talk or walk with the coffee or whatever, like kind of like that.
28:00
SPEAKER_00: Just laid back where you're not too stuck into a full dinner because you if you don't know the person, which I think is smart.
28:06
SPEAKER_00: So that's where I'm like, maybe not a full dinner, maybe not fast food either, just somewhere, coffee date, walk somewhere, still public though, where you can kind of just feel out the person and not be too stuck.
28:18
SPEAKER_01: Let me ask you this then.
28:20
SPEAKER_01: Um, I used to do this on my first dates when I was single, long, long time ago, long, long, long, long, long, long time ago.
28:25
SPEAKER_01: I ain't trying to get in trouble.
28:27
SPEAKER_01: I used to do the coffee, and then I used to do errand dates.
28:31
SPEAKER_01: Errand dates are like say, I would take them, let's say go to Target or Walmart, but like I give them a disclaimer saying, Yo, I gotta do some errands.
28:39
SPEAKER_01: Would you want to come with me?
28:40
SPEAKER_01: And then it's places, you know, where I think she would buy something too.
28:45
SPEAKER_01: Like, oh, who doesn't buy something at Target?
28:48
SPEAKER_01: Like a woman, right?
28:48
SPEAKER_01: Like, oh, there's soap.
28:50
SPEAKER_01: Oh, this is this carpet will look nice, you know?
28:52
SPEAKER_01: So that's what I would do.
28:54
SPEAKER_01: It would be um coffee, Target, then like a little mini lunch.
28:58
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
28:59
SPEAKER_01: So that's that's like my afternoon day.
29:01
SPEAKER_01: And then from there, I could I could probably like decipher if there's gonna be like a dinner or you know, like I could in those, I'm gonna say like three, four hours, I could do, I could think and do like, oh, could this go on forward?
29:17
SPEAKER_01: And then if it does go forward, I'm just like, okay, you know, dinner, maybe a movie, or maybe it's like, I don't know, something fun.
29:23
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
29:23
SPEAKER_01: Like a mall, or I don't know.
29:25
SPEAKER_01: But yeah.
29:26
SPEAKER_00: Just a little bit like to give you time to see if you can keep the spending time with.
29:29
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's what I would, that's what I that's what I would do.
29:31
SPEAKER_01: Also, like it's like a good icebreaker.
29:33
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
29:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
29:34
SPEAKER_01: I'll I've also done the whole um, I didn't have a washer and dryer at the time, so I would I would do the laundromat one.
29:40
SPEAKER_01: Oh, so I'd be real careful, because you know, man, my draws be stinking too.
29:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's not like that's a good thing.
29:45
SPEAKER_01: I would bring my baby's clothes and I'd be like, oh yeah, this is you know, my kids' clothes, da da da da.
29:50
SPEAKER_01: And then I would run dates to that, and then see how would you know she would react to that.
29:56
SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, I didn't do it a lot, but it was it was um what was the word?
30:04
SPEAKER_01: It was uh eventful.
30:05
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, because it's like, oh, okay, you're doing laundry too, yeah.
30:09
SPEAKER_01: There's so much that you could talk about with laundry, and then so sometimes like people are dull, so they can't keep a conversation going.
30:16
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
30:17
SPEAKER_01: Therefore, I'm just like, oh, okay, cool.
30:18
SPEAKER_01: Well, um, I got quarters here, man.
30:21
SPEAKER_01: I got you.
30:22
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for you know talking to me.
30:23
SPEAKER_01: This and the third.
30:24
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, have you ever been on like an unusual date like before your partner to where you're like, oh, this is different.
30:32
SPEAKER_00: I honestly haven't been on that many dates.
30:35
SPEAKER_00: Only because like I'm 29 now, so I started dating my partner like 24, 25, I don't know.
30:41
SPEAKER_00: Um, and so I was like in my younger 20s, and most of the time, like most of the guys were just trying to slide into the DMs and like skip all of that.
30:48
SPEAKER_00: So it was like really yeah, like I feel like most of the time it was like, oh, we'll meet at the beach, like which I guess it was here because like when I was dating, I guess right before I met my partner.
30:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
30:58
SPEAKER_00: Um, because I had a long-term relationship, not right before I left, but I wasn't really dating.
31:02
SPEAKER_01: High school?
31:03
SPEAKER_01: Was it like a high school thing?
31:04
SPEAKER_00: It was like like right after high school though, like 19, 18.
31:09
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because my birthday's December.
31:10
SPEAKER_00: So it was like right after, or like right after I went to college, I should say.
31:14
SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
31:15
SPEAKER_00: And then that was like three years, three and a half years.
31:17
SPEAKER_00: So I had like two years being single, but I was like figuring out again, like readjusting in Seattle, and then I was saving because I thought I was gonna travel.
31:26
SPEAKER_00: Then COVID happened, so then I ended up moving here, and then I had a whole new melting pot, which was kind of nice because I kind of grew up with all those people in my area.
31:33
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I think I had to figure out some things with the local boys, but uh like yeah, it was I didn't have to go on too many dates because I was like younger 20s, and they're like, Oh, let's just meet at the beach.
31:43
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, Yeah, let's I don't want to stare at you at a restaurant, anyways, if I don't know you.
31:47
SPEAKER_00: So let's go, yeah, let's go to the beach in public and I'll see if you're weird.
31:51
SPEAKER_01: What's one tip that you could tell like women out here on the island about these local boys?
31:56
SPEAKER_00: I think I like just what I mentioned like don't let them try to just like come hang out with you like randomly.
32:02
SPEAKER_00: At least, like if they want to meet at the beach, that's fine, but like kind of just see what and this is like any boy's really, I think any boy, yeah, yeah, honestly.
32:10
SPEAKER_00: But like they'll just be like, hey girl, like like meet up, and I'm like, no, like can you at least pretend you have a little respect or something like that?
32:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:17
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I mean, I know I'm pretty, but like I'm a cool person too.
32:20
SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, like that's why I'm like sometimes it's a little offensive.
32:23
SPEAKER_00: And so it's like, I just even if they seem cool or you like them, just like really think about their intentions because they'll will let you know.
32:31
SPEAKER_00: Like, there was one guy I was trying to hang on to, and I'm like, this guy's not serious, like you know what I mean.
32:35
SPEAKER_01: What are the telltale signs on you know, you know, oh yeah, he's not serious, he's not that one.
32:42
SPEAKER_00: I think because it was weird, like he he would have me hang out with his friends, like when we'd go out and stuff.
32:46
SPEAKER_00: So it kind of kept actually two guys that was like that.
32:48
SPEAKER_00: It kept seeming like we would almost get there, and then it was just like they weren't like going to the next step of like, oh, we want to try like date, like actually dating or something, like, and it's been three months.
32:57
SPEAKER_00: So that was for me.
32:58
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, okay, we're kind of wasting my time then.
33:00
SPEAKER_00: If you know what I mean?
33:01
SPEAKER_00: Like I, if you were into me, you'd someone if someone was into me, they would want to show me off and be into me, kind of thing.
33:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, not just like, oh, look at this hot girl, like sometimes, you know what I mean?
33:11
SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, okay, you just want to keep your options open.
33:13
SPEAKER_00: And so I had to like just come to terms.
33:15
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, all right, dude, that's fine.
33:16
SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm not gonna beg you, you know what I mean, to want to be with me.
33:19
SPEAKER_00: I want someone that wants to be with me.
33:21
SPEAKER_01: Let me ask you this then, Miss Zekela Zekela Zakyla, Zekela, Zekela.
33:25
SPEAKER_01: Let me ask you this.
33:26
SPEAKER_01: Phone's away now.
33:27
SPEAKER_01: We're freestyling with this whole um oh shit, I forgot.
33:30
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, brain fart.
33:32
SPEAKER_01: Oh, with um uh the whole uh time thing.
33:38
SPEAKER_01: Did you know when you were with your partner, did you know that you were gonna be with this person?
33:43
SPEAKER_01: Like, when was the time where you're like, you know what?
33:46
SPEAKER_01: He he's gonna be my man, and then when that happened, how long did it take for y'all two to like establish yo, I'm your girl, you're my you're my man.
33:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, probably not very long, because I think, well, once he knew, once he knew I had a crush on him, because it's probably obvious because I started giving him more attention, like that way, you know what I mean?
34:06
SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, where's John?
34:07
SPEAKER_00: Like it's stuff when we're out, and people are like, What do you mean?
34:10
SPEAKER_00: I was like, just wondering.
34:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
34:13
unknown: I don't know.
34:13
SPEAKER_00: Um, but I think you know, you can kind of get that, he could feel that vibe.
34:17
SPEAKER_00: He's like, Oh, she's smiling at me more and like more interested.
34:20
SPEAKER_00: So then we would still have like normal like hangouts with our friends at the beach, and then he would he's like, Hey, you want to go swimming?
34:25
SPEAKER_00: And then we're like kind of hugging in the water, and so it kind of like Oh, okay.
34:28
SPEAKER_00: He was like, Oh yeah, you know, I think he's like, Oh yeah, she's feeling me now because he was like kind of testing it and stuff.
34:33
SPEAKER_00: And so I think with like those local boys, I was like kind of like figuring it out.
34:38
SPEAKER_00: I was like, Okay, yeah, they're not serious.
34:39
SPEAKER_00: And I was kind of also like seeing like how much of a good person it was kind of all like happening at the same time.
34:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
34:45
SPEAKER_00: And so I was like, okay, yeah, this is a person that's like a really great person who's like would be very faithful and like have you know, like he's just a good person.
34:54
SPEAKER_00: Like that's one of the main things.
34:55
SPEAKER_00: You're good, have a good heart, a great person, you're not mean to people, like you're me, whatever.
35:00
SPEAKER_00: Um, so that's where it started, and like he's like a puppy dog, you know what I mean?
35:04
SPEAKER_00: So um, yeah, it was like maybe two weeks, I don't know, like of just like testing, and he's like, okay.
35:11
SPEAKER_00: And then one night, just after a bar, we were just like, All right, we're just dating.
35:14
unknown: Like, yeah.
35:16
SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay.
35:16
SPEAKER_01: I remember my question.
35:17
SPEAKER_01: I remember my question.
35:18
SPEAKER_01: So my qu my neck, my this might be our last question.
35:21
SPEAKER_01: Um flaunting your partner, right?
35:26
SPEAKER_01: Uh has it ever become an issue to where you're not flaunting your partner enough?
35:32
SPEAKER_01: Or be you know, because of you know your your following and vice versa?
35:38
SPEAKER_01: Like, does like I don't follow him on his page, but does he flaunt you on his page?
35:42
SPEAKER_00: And he probably flaunts me more than I him.
35:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
35:44
SPEAKER_00: I think I do.
35:45
SPEAKER_00: I go in phases where I do and don't, and I just get annoyed with like all the outside people who don't know us, or like I guess it's more out of protection because some girls are weird.
35:55
SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
35:55
SPEAKER_00: Or boys too.
35:56
SPEAKER_00: Like, I know they're in my DMs.
35:58
SPEAKER_00: They don't care if I have a man, and yeah, yeah.
35:59
SPEAKER_00: I've had people who I know them, and I don't think but they're my friend, but he's like, she just hit on me, and I'm like, she was literally just in our face telling us how cute we are.
36:07
SPEAKER_00: So that's weird.
36:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know what I mean?
36:09
SPEAKER_00: So it's like just stuff like that, and like people are just weird, and he's also like he's in a band and has a lot of like people know him, and he's like, as he's rising in that, there's just gonna be some stuff.
36:21
SPEAKER_00: So I don't know, it's kind of we talked about even making our own like couples page and stuff, like it's just like yeah, it's kind of like what do we want public, what do we want private?
36:30
SPEAKER_00: Because we want to protect certain stuff, but we also are both kind of public figures or be rising up anymore in that field.
36:36
SPEAKER_01: So yes, yeah.
36:38
SPEAKER_00: And people do want to know stuff, so it's just like, yeah, what's the balance?
36:41
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
36:42
SPEAKER_00: I have like a media page, I feel like I post more um of both his stuff, travelers, my stuff, and I'll post like more of us together too.
36:51
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, I don't know.
36:53
SPEAKER_00: My page is just it's just there.
36:55
SPEAKER_00: Oh man, it's just there.
36:57
SPEAKER_00: The reason why delete them, like sometimes I like or not delete, I archive.
37:00
SPEAKER_00: Archive them.
37:01
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, archiving's the best.
37:03
SPEAKER_00: People will be just weird.
37:03
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, you know what?
37:04
SPEAKER_00: I'm just taking this down.
37:05
SPEAKER_01: Like, oh girl, so the reason why I asked is because um I've been asked a lot on like why, and my wife be asking me too, like, why don't why don't I post things with me and her?
37:16
SPEAKER_01: And I tell her, I was like, yo, I'll repost whatever you tag me in or whatever, but I like to keep things like semi-private.
37:23
SPEAKER_01: Like if I go out of, like, let's say if I go out of state, I'm posting that like three days after.
37:28
SPEAKER_01: You know, like I don't want people knowing where I'm at, like patiently.
37:32
SPEAKER_01: Or, you know, like if me and my wife go out, I'm posting that like a week after.
37:36
SPEAKER_01: Because I don't want them know, you know.
37:37
SPEAKER_01: So, but I tell her, I was like, yo, it's just it's just social media.
37:41
SPEAKER_01: Like, I everyone knows that I'm married, you know.
37:43
SPEAKER_01: Like, if they follow me, they they'll see, like, oh, we got kids.
37:46
SPEAKER_01: Oh, there's a woman in there, it might be his wife, like a consistent woman.
37:50
SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, like I now she is totally cool with me not posting her as much.
37:57
SPEAKER_01: I do post her, but it's just more of like, you know, us as a family and stuff.
38:02
SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
38:02
SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't want to be like, oh yeah, woman crush Wednesday, da da da da.
38:05
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
38:05
SPEAKER_01: My woman crush Wednesday is Miss Betty White.
38:08
SPEAKER_00: That was, yeah, I remember those days.
38:09
SPEAKER_00: And Lucy Old.
38:13
SPEAKER_01: I need my posters.
38:14
SPEAKER_01: You know, that's my woman crush.
38:16
SPEAKER_01: You know what I'm saying?
38:16
SPEAKER_01: Those comedians, but um, yeah, so um if and this is going for everyone out there, if your partner's not posting you, like 50% of the time, because it's you know, 50-50, they're not like ashamed of you, it's just because they're just not cognizant of what they're posting.
38:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, yeah, it's like there's two sides of the coin.
38:37
SPEAKER_00: Like, you're not gonna be able to do it.
38:39
SPEAKER_01: He's not he or she's not.
38:41
SPEAKER_00: I think also like he will like now collaborate with me on some.
38:45
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, why did you choose a really ugly photo of me though?
38:48
SPEAKER_00: And I don't want that audio.
38:49
SPEAKER_01: But babe, I look good.
38:50
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I look good.
38:52
SPEAKER_00: I look good.
38:52
SPEAKER_01: I don't care about you.
38:53
SPEAKER_01: I look good in this one, though.
38:54
SPEAKER_00: I'm not putting this on my modeling page.
38:55
SPEAKER_00: Uh huh.
38:56
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
38:56
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
38:57
SPEAKER_00: It's like the ugliest birthday post, you know, like you're like this.
39:01
SPEAKER_00: Sorry, but yeah, like I'm not I'm not adding that to my page.
39:04
SPEAKER_00: Love you.
39:04
SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, I love you, man, but I'm not sure.
39:06
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, sometimes like maybe if you picked a better picture of me, I would you know accept it too.
39:10
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's just that.
39:12
SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah.
39:13
SPEAKER_01: Girl, girl, that was fun.
39:15
SPEAKER_01: Before I dip out, when what um when was the first time he said I love you or you said it to him?
39:20
SPEAKER_01: Or have you guys not said it yet?
39:22
SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's yeah, I don't even know.
39:24
SPEAKER_00: Probably early.
39:24
SPEAKER_01: Early.
39:25
SPEAKER_01: What's what's what's too early for the for a high school kid that's asking?
39:29
SPEAKER_00: Oh gosh, yeah, don't go off of that.
39:31
SPEAKER_00: I feel like because we are friends already, it kind of and then we had the flirtation going, I don't know.
39:36
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it was probably within like two months.
39:39
SPEAKER_01: Two months.
39:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
39:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know what, kids?
39:41
SPEAKER_01: That's too, that's too far.
39:42
SPEAKER_01: Uh that's too um, that's too close.
39:43
SPEAKER_00: Uh I think that's too soon for younger kids.
39:45
SPEAKER_00: Too soon, yeah.
39:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's why I was like, I think.
39:46
SPEAKER_01: Wait a year or two.
39:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like I think we just already we knew pretty quick once we Yeah, yeah, yeah.
39:53
SPEAKER_00: Like, I think there are exceptions to it, but I think when you're the younger you are, like, definitely learning more.
39:59
SPEAKER_00: And I think because of those past things that I'd gone through, I like I very quickly knew.
40:04
SPEAKER_00: And we very quickly like had a safe place to land.
40:07
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
40:07
SPEAKER_00: So that was like just feeling having that comfort, feeling like you're at home is like definitely you know, like already.
40:13
SPEAKER_01: We know girl, girl, that was fun.
40:16
SPEAKER_01: Yes, thank you.
40:17
SPEAKER_01: Um, I popped her podcast, Charlie.
40:18
SPEAKER_01: So this is her first.
40:20
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
40:20
SPEAKER_01: Uh be nice in the comments because uh yeah, it's her first time.
40:24
SPEAKER_01: It's her first time.
40:25
SPEAKER_01: Uh Zekela, do you have any shout-outs or anything, or where can these people find you at?
40:28
SPEAKER_00: Um, you can find me on Instagram at Zekayla Savage.
40:32
SPEAKER_00: Same thing for YouTube, TikTok, all at Zekela Savage.
40:35
SPEAKER_00: Um, shout out to the Seattle Seahawks, because we're gonna win today.
40:39
SPEAKER_00: Shout out my partner, John, because we just we talked about him a bit.
40:42
SPEAKER_00: Um, the Travelist.
40:43
SPEAKER_00: Yes, uh, and to you.
40:44
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for having me.
40:45
SPEAKER_01: Oh no, thank you.
40:46
SPEAKER_01: And um, see how much uh this should be if they do win, it's redemption from the interceptions.
40:52
SPEAKER_00: Yes, Marshall and his face.
40:56
SPEAKER_00: He's a Patriots fan.
40:57
SPEAKER_00: Oh, really?
40:57
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so wow.
40:59
SPEAKER_00: So he knows how I feel about this.
41:00
SPEAKER_00: It's gonna say because I was like, no, we didn't just lose, we lost right there.
41:04
SPEAKER_02: Right there, yeah.
41:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
41:09
SPEAKER_00: Like, so we literally, like, I remember sitting there, I was a senior in high school, I was like, I'm a senior, we have to win it.
41:14
SPEAKER_00: Won last year, we're winning again, and we're right there.
41:16
SPEAKER_00: I was like, we have it in the bag, and it happened so fast.
41:19
SPEAKER_01: We're all sitting there like it did happen super fast.
41:22
SPEAKER_00: What happened?
41:22
SPEAKER_00: What happened?
41:23
SPEAKER_01: We're all sitting there, they threw the ball to me.
41:25
SPEAKER_00: No, they didn't.
41:25
SPEAKER_01: Like what?
41:27
SPEAKER_01: Give it to your boy Lynch, man.
41:31
SPEAKER_00: I know I'm like, please just let him play one play.
41:33
SPEAKER_00: Just let him give it to me.
41:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
41:35
SPEAKER_01: With that being said, KO Studios, thank you for the lovely home.
41:38
SPEAKER_01: Raffi Bye always, thank you for the lovely beats, man.
41:40
SPEAKER_01: I'm Chris.
41:41
SPEAKER_00: I was a Kayla.
41:42
SPEAKER_01: We out this bitch.
41:43
SPEAKER_01: Peace.
41:45
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.