Latest / Adventures in Adversity: an inspirational podcast / Ep. 55: Is it menopause, perimenopause, or just me? Real talk with Menopalz founder & certified coach Raquel Riggle

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Ep. 55: Is it menopause, perimenopause, or just me? Real talk with Menopalz founder & certified coach Raquel Riggle · Adventures in Adversity: an inspirational podcast

0:01
All right, we are back. I think this is episode #55
0:06
that's congratulations. Thank you.
0:08
Well, I am, thank you so much for helping me, being a guest,
0:12
helping me get to that number because every story is.
0:15
So it's a part of my journey and it's a part of your journey.
0:19
And then all the listeners. So it's super cool.
0:22
Whenever I have guest. So episode 55, it shows an
0:25
adversity. If you have not heard this
0:27
podcast before, essentially we feature real people, true
0:31
stories and daily inspiration with the goal of helping
0:35
ourselves really turn life's adversity into adventure.
0:40
Simply stated right? I like it.
0:42
We all have a lot coming at us, whether it's mental, physical,
0:45
whatever age we're at, so not talk about it we were talking
0:48
about before and see what we can come up with.
0:51
What can we? Yeah, let's just keep talking,
0:53
because let's just keep talking. It's healing.
0:56
It's healing. And so with that, I would like
0:58
to introduce my next guest, Raquel Riggle.
1:02
Thank you so much for being here.
1:04
Thank you for having me of. Course and you are the founder
1:08
of my menopals.com, right? Yes.
1:12
Actually, it's menopals. Menopals.
1:15
OPALZ, you had to for a spin on that.
1:18
Menopause.com. Yes, congratulations on founding
1:23
that as well. Thank you.
1:24
I do appreciate that it's been a lever of love.
1:28
So you are a menopause coach? Yes, yes.
1:34
And you have been through and obviously you founded this
1:37
company and I'm going to let you talk all about it, but you have
1:41
been through some adversity in your life leading up to this.
1:45
Yes. Leading up to this has been kind
1:47
of the journey. In 2020 I started, I started
1:53
just kind of getting really swollen ankles and before that I
1:56
wasn't able to lose any weight. I would say probably the years
2:00
before that would be like the first three years before 20/20.
2:03
It was when I started really noticing like weight was coming
2:06
on. No matter what I did, no matter
2:08
what I ate, I could not lose the weight.
2:11
And I was just like, I guess I'm just destined to be overweight.
2:14
I don't know. And at my, at my largest, I was
2:17
like 220 lbs and that just was not ever been like from my size
2:22
my who I am. So I just kind of went with it
2:26
and didn't really notice anything different, you know,
2:28
just kind of felt off, but just not knowing why.
2:32
And then in 2020, you know, the pandemic hit.
2:35
We were stuck at home, You know, kids were at home.
2:38
Everything just seemed felt really crazy.
2:40
And I ended up turning kind of yellow.
2:42
It's like this doesn't really seem right.
2:45
And then my eyes were yellow. And I thought, oh, my God,
2:48
that's jaundice. Yeah.
2:50
In my mind, you know, it was like, oh, my gosh, I have
2:53
jaundice. And I didn't.
2:54
I didn't really put two and two together.
2:56
You know you don't think you think of jaundice as a baby.
2:58
You know when your. Babies.
2:59
Yes, that's. The doctor, they give them a
3:03
little light and then they're totally fine.
3:04
Yeah. So you know I was things like I
3:08
mean layout in the sun. Well, yeah, I I would do that.
3:11
I'd be like, yeah, you need some light or something.
3:15
Yeah. I can see I was laying out in
3:17
the sun and, like, meanwhile, my eyes are getting more yellow.
3:21
And so I just felt so off. And my ankles were, I mean, my
3:25
ankles were humongous. They were just always swollen.
3:28
Yeah. And how old are you at this
3:30
time? At that time let's see I was
3:33
4045 OK, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that I I have told my. 44 so
3:40
I'm right, yes. So, OK, yes.
3:45
So I told my husband, I said, I think I need to be seen.
3:47
You know, I'm just, I had never really been a doctor person.
3:49
And I thought, well, I'm just going to, you know, go in and
3:53
just see what they have to say. So I took myself to ER because
3:56
at this, I was at that point I was just like, I feel like crap.
3:59
You know, my eyes are yellow, my skin's yellow.
4:01
My ankles is a thought. There's the size of an elephant.
4:03
So they have to have answers something.
4:05
Yeah. I went in and they're like, oh,
4:08
you're coding. OK, cool.
4:10
I don't, you know, still have no idea what this means at this
4:12
point. Does that.
4:13
Mean, yeah. Yeah.
4:14
And so they were like, you're coding, we need to take you
4:17
upstairs, we're going to admit you.
4:19
They wanted to drain my body because they thought I had
4:22
ascites, which let me kind of back up.
4:24
Basically, I had gone into acute liver failure.
4:27
And so I did not realize I was in acute liver failure at the
4:31
time. And so they thought I had
4:33
ascites, which is kind of a liver bile build up in your
4:37
stomach. And they were like, that's why
4:39
you can't lose weight, blah, blah, blah.
4:41
And I was like, I think I need another opinion.
4:44
I don't want to just have somebody draining things out of
4:46
me. So they admitted me and I was
4:50
like, OK, all right, well, they're gonna just do what
4:53
they've got to do, I guess. I, I was in there for seven days
4:57
and they threw steroids at me. They had blown my veins in my
5:02
arm, taking blood so many times. And they were like, well, we
5:06
don't know. We're just going to go ahead and
5:07
send you home. You're going to have to have a,
5:09
you know, you're going to send you home to AGI and that will
5:12
you'll that will be your follow up.
5:14
And I was like, well, what is going on?
5:15
I don't understand. And they were like, you're an
5:18
alcoholic. What, you know, you go to the
5:20
doctor because you're sick, about to be dismissed or judged.
5:24
So when they asked me the question, do you drink?
5:25
At the time I drank not a lot, but we were in the middle of
5:29
Covad in the lockdown. I was home with three babies.
5:31
I was having a few extra drinks. Nothing that I thought or that
5:36
should have been anything that would put me into acute sugar
5:39
failure. But what it?
5:41
Turns out is I have celiac disease and so because of
5:44
celiac, which is an autoimmune disease, they did not catch that
5:48
and it continued to eat away at my liver.
5:50
And so I, I went home after 7 days and I became grossly I'll
5:57
just grossly ill. And then I was terrified to go
6:00
back to the hospital because of what they had just put me
6:02
through. Yeah.
6:04
And so I wound up. I was vomiting morning, noon,
6:09
all hours of the night. There was no rhyme or reason.
6:12
I had absolutely no answers. I had gone to the GI like they
6:15
had suggested from when I went to the GI, he had given me like
6:19
3 or 4 different medications and the medications were one was
6:23
$3000 a month. I mean, it was intense.
6:27
And you don't even know what's going on, but you're.
6:29
Trying to still have no answers. They're just calling me an
6:32
alcoholic. And I swear I was.
6:34
I had one doctor come when I was in the hospital.
6:38
She looked at me and she was like, how could you do this to
6:40
yourself? I said, what did I do?
6:42
I don't even know what's wrong. You don't even know what's wrong
6:44
with me. How can you say these things to
6:47
me? So I went through, and I mean, I
6:50
dropped over 80 lbs in less than three months.
6:53
I mean, I was just, I'll, I got to the point where I was, I
6:57
mean, I had no muscle at all. No muscle I couldn't get in my
7:01
husband's truck. My kids had to put a step stool
7:04
in so that I could try to get into the vehicle.
7:06
I mean, it was my muscles said basically atrophy because I
7:08
could only lay in bed. And I mean, this went on for
7:11
months and I finally had a day where I didn't feel too bad.
7:16
At this point, I was kind of living on just bone broth
7:19
because I couldn't really keep anything else down.
7:22
I had a kind of a day where I was feeling like I could kind of
7:24
sit up and kind of function. And IA friend of mine had text
7:29
me because she was just so worried she kept brief.
7:31
If it wasn't for her and her bone broth, I probably wouldn't
7:33
be living right now. She was just what can I do?
7:36
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
7:37
So she had text me and she came over and we called UC.
7:40
Well, we called the date, the hospital in California, which
7:43
was hands down the best decision I ever made.
7:46
So I went to this. I went to a hepatologist because
7:48
I thought my liver was failing me this whole time.
7:52
I had no idea I had any autoimmune disease whatsoever.
7:55
Nobody even nobody even tested me for this.
7:58
So I went to the hepatologist and the hepatologist was like, I
8:02
think you have more than this, whatever they're saying going
8:04
on. Yeah.
8:05
And he's like, I, I want to look into autoimmune and I, I knew my
8:09
family was predisposed for that because my sister has like, and
8:13
my brother have psoriatic, psoriatic arthritis.
8:16
I don't know if I'm saying psoriatic arthritis.
8:19
Yeah. Can you can you explain for
8:21
anyone that might be listening what autoimmune means an
8:24
autoimmune disease? Disease is basically your immune
8:26
system is working against. You attacking your.
8:29
Yeah, yeah. So it's based on a lot of
8:32
inflammation. And you know, any time that your
8:35
body is in an inflamed state, it basically is telling you we're
8:39
trying to heal, you know, every. It's actively trying.
8:42
Something's going on there. It's.
8:43
Precisely, yeah. When you get a cut, you know how
8:47
it kind of gets a little puffy the next few days?
8:49
That's what's happening on the inside of your body at all times
8:52
when you're inflamed. So I had lived in such an
8:55
inflamed state for. So many years.
8:57
Yeah, by the time I got to this point, I was just done for.
9:01
So I get to Davis and he looks me over and he's like, OK, come
9:05
back and we're going to have, you know, have you come in and,
9:08
and do an upper GI, which is the So they put me out and they put
9:11
a tube down my throat and they did like a biopsy of my
9:15
intestines, which is kind of the gold standard of figuring out if
9:19
you have celiac or not. Got it.
9:21
And so it turned out I did. So the doctor called and he was
9:25
like, it's just a very slow recovery.
9:27
And I was like, OK, but I could do this.
9:30
I can get out from gluten. But at this time, I was
9:33
basically 100, maybe 108 lbs. I mean, I was so thin, all my
9:38
hair felt had fallen out of my head.
9:40
I lost my eyebrows. Oh gosh.
9:43
And I. Meant to move.
9:45
Eventually. I was a mess physical and like
9:48
the people probably If people haven't been through physical
9:51
challenges like that, there's a whole mental side.
9:54
Yeah, Yeah, I I spent those months laying in bed researching
9:58
liver failure, why things like this happen.
10:02
Like, what is cirrhosis? What, what what are the causing
10:05
factors, You know, because you hear cirrhosis and you think
10:07
that's the end. You know, you're just like, oh,
10:09
my God, what in the heck is going on?
10:11
Yeah. I was writing goodbye letters to
10:13
my children. I mean, because I thought, I
10:16
don't know if I'm going to make it.
10:18
My husband was walking by and he's putting his hands on me and
10:21
making sure that I'm just breathing.
10:23
And I just remember him in the mornings just kind of pacing by
10:27
the bed. You know, you're just kind of
10:28
delirious when that sick. Yeah.
10:32
And he would be just pacing. And I'm like, why?
10:36
What's going on? Yeah.
10:38
I started selling my things on Facebook because I didn't want
10:41
my family to have to deal with him after I had passed because I
10:44
was just convinced that this was it.
10:47
And so to hear Celiac, I actually at the time, I didn't
10:51
even register what that meant. OK, so that's celiac.
10:56
But you know, but not understanding anywhere in that
11:00
that gluten isn't absolutely everything you touch, shampoo,
11:05
chapstick, lotion, products, I mean, everything I mean.
11:09
That gluten was in products. It's an wow.
11:13
Yeah, it's incredible if you really dig into it.
11:16
So we we started, you know, I started the gluten free path.
11:21
OK, I'm going to just be gluten free for the rest of my life.
11:25
That's great. And I get start to see small
11:28
improvements, but nowhere in there did somebody say, hey,
11:31
you're 45. This could be something
11:33
associated with menopause where So Fast forward, I don't know,
11:38
about a year, year and a half, I'm starting to put minimal
11:41
weight on minimal and people want people think being thin is
11:45
fun. I'm going to I'm here to tell
11:47
you it is not. Not when you're that thin
11:49
because it is so uncomfortable. You're freezing all the time.
11:53
It's basically a houseplant just stuck on my front porch with 12
11:57
shirts on in the sun hold. All the time.
12:01
It messes with everything. My blood was super thin so I
12:04
would just bleed for no reason. I mean, this was just a crazy
12:08
wild ride and I this is where menopause was born from because
12:13
I don't want someone else to have to go through what I went
12:15
through in order to realize what the heck they have going on.
12:20
You've. Really felt the pain of that.
12:23
Yeah. If you can do something to well,
12:26
and now I want to hear all about this.
12:29
It's coming from a place of really understanding how hard it
12:32
is. Yeah, yeah.
12:33
That's and to not be heard, you know, by doctors.
12:36
I think it's just this medical gaslighting that we're getting,
12:39
especially as women. Just I mean, how dare that woman
12:44
look at me and say I was an alcoholic.
12:45
I was stuck at home with three kids.
12:46
I had a few extra glasses of wine.
12:48
That does not make me an. Alcoholic, right?
12:50
People make all kinds of assumptions and whatever role
12:53
you're in, whether you're a doctor, a teacher, whoever,
12:56
doesn't actually matter. You actually don't know what's
13:00
going on just based on what you're seeing.
13:02
Yeah, yeah, exactly. My, I Fast forward about a year
13:06
and a half into my healing and I went to the gynecologist because
13:10
at that time, then my period started getting just when they
13:13
finally came back, I because I was once you lose so much
13:16
weight, they kind of go away. So as I started to gain weight
13:19
back, they started they came back, but they came back with
13:23
vengeance. And I was like, Oh my gosh, what
13:26
is going on? So I, I go to the doctor because
13:30
at this, I mean, I'm already, I was already anemic from being so
13:33
thin and so like deteriorated from everything else I had gone
13:37
through. I go to the the gynecologist and
13:39
I she's like, oh, let's just give you an ablation, OK?
13:43
What and? Yeah.
13:44
And then the blade. Yeah, sorry.
13:46
No, I usually maybe I. Had one I don't know.
13:50
So bad I think you'd know. I promise I'm up for go ahead.
13:54
I don't know. Oh my God, I swear to God you
13:59
could be my friend. We're friends, we're friends.
14:04
Yeah, so the ablation is where they go in and they basically
14:07
carterize your uterus to stop or slow down periods.
14:11
I have not done that. Okay, yeah, yeah.
14:13
Totally. You would know so I'm like
14:18
signing up to do this ablation cuz I'm thinking well cuz you
14:22
so. It's like it flows in town times
14:25
100. Oh my gosh.
14:26
That times 100 to the point where you couldn't even leave
14:27
the house. I mean, you were gonna bleed
14:29
through. And I mean as a woman, you know
14:31
what that means. It's I, Yeah, yeah.
14:33
Anywhere right now. Not gonna no.
14:35
And then you're miserable. The whole thing.
14:38
So I go in, they test everything, you know, they pull
14:42
the samples like everything's good.
14:43
I'm getting ready to go for it. And the gynecologist was
14:46
arrested for prostitution right before my first seizure.
14:49
I can't do not. I can't do not.
14:52
I can't even make these things up.
14:54
OK. Yeah, I didn't see that one
14:56
coming. OK.
14:57
So you didn't go then? Because I did not go through the
15:01
blatant was in jail, I quit. Yeah, yeah, I quit going there
15:05
immediately. And then I thought, I'm throwing
15:07
in the towel over it. I'm not.
15:08
I'm not doing that. Just going to like ride it out,
15:11
maybe this. Is a sign.
15:12
I don't know. Wow.
15:13
OK, you've been such. A break.
15:15
No, no, I it was a hard, hard mess, hot mess.
15:19
So yeah, the prostitution sting rounded him up and rid that of
15:24
my life. So then I just kind of went went
15:26
on about it about a year and a half later after that, I was in
15:31
Florida at a friend's house, and I was just feeling off.
15:36
You know, you just kind of have those weird anxiety moments.
15:39
And I didn't really struggle with hot flashes per SE, but
15:42
just the culmination of I didn't feel like myself.
15:45
And then I had a panic attack at her house.
15:48
And I've never in my entire life experienced a panic attack.
15:51
I mean, I jumped up out of the seat and I ran down the hallway
15:56
and I was just like, like, I was freaking out.
15:58
It was so intense. I have no explanation for this
16:03
whatsoever. And I just hugged my friend and
16:05
I was just like, and I was there for a week and I couldn't, I
16:10
couldn't even leave the bed. I was just so anxiety ridden and
16:15
so freaked out. And I don't really even have any
16:18
words to describe it. It was just, I knew like if I
16:21
left, I had a hard time. I could barely even fly home.
16:24
I could barely even get myself to fly home.
16:27
Yeah, I was just like, I'm just going to stay here in this bed.
16:30
Worried about bad things happening or was it just
16:32
anxiety? And I don't even have any real
16:37
explanation. Yeah.
16:38
Because I knew. I mean, my logical mind knew I
16:40
was safe. I was not sure anywhere that was
16:42
going to be damaging or hurt me, but it just was.
16:46
All I can explain now is my hormones were completely flipped
16:49
upside down, and I was completely dysregulated.
16:52
And my central nervous system was forget it, you're out of
16:54
here. It was.
16:55
It's it's nervous system, a chemical.
16:59
It was a malt overload that had enough.
17:01
Whatever was going on wasn't, Yep, balanced. 100% and I'm
17:06
really pissed off, really mad about.
17:09
That panic, I've had panic attacks and it's a scary place
17:12
to be, yes. Yes, you know, and I couldn't
17:16
get out of that space. I mean, my husband was there and
17:19
he was going and they were, you know, they were doing all the
17:22
vacation things and just leave me here.
17:24
Just leave me here. Yeah, yeah.
17:28
I was so hyper stimulated and I was really mad.
17:31
I'm mad at that gynecologist because I feel like somebody
17:34
should have said something. Maybe this is not something that
17:36
you need an ablation for, you know?
17:38
Yeah, so. I nobody's having those
17:41
conversations, huh? Not one.
17:43
Not one, not one. I mean nobody.
17:46
So again, when I got back to, I live in Reno, NV.
17:49
So I, when I got back to Reno, I called my primary and I made an
17:53
appointment and I was like, OK, I need to figure out what's
17:56
going on. To which they were just like, I
17:58
don't know, maybe your thyroid medicine is off because the one
18:01
thing that the gynecologist did give me was thyroid medication.
18:04
They're like, well, it'll help you.
18:06
Sure. OK, I guess so.
18:09
So to me, I think getting the thyroid medication is out as I
18:13
look back may have kind of held off some of my symptoms, sure,
18:17
but it obviously reached a point where it just kind of tipped
18:21
system. Overload.
18:22
Almost, right? Yes.
18:23
It was like your body almost was ringing the alarm or something.
18:26
Exactly. Off.
18:28
Exactly. Yeah.
18:29
It's not a fun way to realize that, you know?
18:33
No, no. Gosh.
18:36
Nobody needs to go. Through it you got through it
18:39
though. You know, spent a year basically
18:42
last year was just this up and down, up and down, up and down.
18:46
So when I got back, I contacted like I contacted my primary and
18:51
they kind of were like, well, we don't know.
18:54
And they, they kept trying to give me a generic brand of my
18:58
thyroid medication. And I sent to the doctor.
19:00
I said I have to have Synthroid, which is the name brand for
19:04
thyroid medication. It's the quote UN quote gold
19:07
standard for it. I said because I, I have celiac
19:10
and I can't verify through the pharmacy and I called the
19:13
manufacturer and they can't verify that that there's no
19:16
gluten in it with the fillers. Gosh, the doctor looks me in the
19:19
face and says your body will adjust.
19:22
I got up and walked out. Yeah.
19:25
No, no, I did not adjust when I was really sick.
19:28
Yeah. No, like I'm just a guy.
19:32
Medical gas, you're saying? They're not always right, right?
19:35
Yeah, right. And their belief system
19:38
shouldn't be my problem when it goes in my body shouldn't be
19:41
what they get to dictate. I don't feel sometimes.
19:44
Yeah. So I just walked out because I
19:47
was really frustrated. So I spent a couple of months
19:50
trying to figure out how to get Synthroid without having to go
19:55
and get on generics and go through their hoops with
19:57
insurance and stuff like that. And I was lucky enough I went
20:00
directly to the manufacturer and they offered a program.
20:02
So I was the doctor said I'll prescribe it, but you have to
20:06
pay for it out of pocket. OK, thanks bud.
20:08
So I was able to find that, but I Fast forward a little bit
20:11
further. I called my gynecologist who was
20:15
online and. She is with Wish Health and
20:18
she's amazing. She focuses just in
20:21
perimenopause, menopause and post menopause, which is kind of
20:25
the root cause and things of that nature.
20:27
And so for me, we discussed HRT, which is hormone replacement
20:31
therapy, OK and hormone repair home hormone replacement therapy
20:36
comes in a couple of ways for me.
20:38
I opted for the patch, which is my estrogen, and then I have a
20:42
pill which is progesterone. So if you don't have a uterus a
20:46
lot of times and ask your doctor of course, but a lot of times
20:49
you won't need progesterone if you've had an early hysterectomy
20:53
or things of that nature. Yep.
20:56
But with, because I did not have a hysterectomy, I, I still
20:59
needed the progesterone. So we started on that and I saw
21:02
some slight improvement, but I, I had so much brain fog and I
21:07
was still in such pandemonium in my head that I couldn't remember
21:12
the conversation that I had with the doctor.
21:14
And so when I got off the phone and I went to the pharmacy, I
21:18
knew I had to do that much. I, I picked up my my medication
21:22
and I looked at it and I, because I couldn't remember, I
21:25
thought she, the pharmacy messed up.
21:27
And I just sat there in my car crying and crying.
21:32
Such a mess. Yeah, I was convinced they
21:35
messed it up. And I'm here.
21:36
I am. And I'm all I'm screwed.
21:38
I'm going to have to go through this conversation with this lady
21:41
again. I called my friend, the one that
21:44
was making me the brown broth. She's a lifesaver.
21:47
I had to read my doctor's notes and I'm bawling, Can't make
21:50
heads or tails. I can't think straight.
21:53
I can't figure out what's going on in my own life.
21:56
And she's like, leave me the notes.
21:58
My husband's helping me figure out where to put this patch.
22:01
I mean, it's just such a crazy scenario, but I physically
22:07
couldn't do it. And I'm a strong independent
22:10
woman. I've been a realtor.
22:11
I worked at a bank. I mean, I've raced for children.
22:14
It's I never encountered. This and things done.
22:17
Yeah, and having control and I had none, none.
22:21
So that that like panic attack, the sickness and the panic
22:25
attack alerted you to like all of these things were happening.
22:30
And for anyone who doesn't maybe is new to understanding what
22:34
menopause is and what paramenopause is, can you tell
22:37
me really quick, sort of define those things and then to give
22:42
that context a little bit and then I want to like continue in
22:45
your journey. Oh yeah, yeah, of course.
22:48
It's the hormonal roller coaster, if you will.
22:51
Estrogen and progesterone spike and then they crash and
22:54
predictably it lasts. It lasts 4 to 10 years.
22:58
Wow, OK for women? And your your hormones are. 4 to
23:02
10 years. Oh, wow.
23:05
OK, yeah, so I'm there. I'm there now.
23:07
I'm para. I think I'm perimenopause
23:09
because I sweat. You have your, you have your
23:11
hair. You look great.
23:12
Oh yeah, yeah, only. But I I'm putting all the the
23:16
serums in to get to get it back, you know, And then I like the
23:19
bed is drenched in sweat. My kids are like, yeah, I'm
23:22
like. I'm sorry.
23:24
No, no, sorry, I don't. I think I'm in paramenopause.
23:27
I don't know. So OK, you were saying Florida,
23:29
you're 10 hairs of roller coaster.
23:32
It's just all over the place. Menopause itself is just one
23:36
day. It's when you've go ahead and
23:38
find it. The anniversary of your last
23:40
period after 12 months, that's one day after that, and then
23:44
you're menopause and every day after that you're in post
23:48
menopause. Menopause.
23:50
Isn't that wild? Yeah, on freaking.
23:52
Days. That's crazy.
23:54
Para menopause is all the time until it's been 12 months since
23:58
your last period. Yes, menopause.
24:00
Correct. And the day after it's post
24:02
menopause. Yes, so one day we live in
24:04
menopause and the rest is post. And the rest of the time we get
24:07
periods that we have to deal with, then God, we just don't
24:10
get a break. I know and you think that
24:12
they're going to go away and you know they do for a little bit
24:15
and then I didn't have one for about 6 months.
24:17
Well, I'm close, I'm going to even out.
24:19
No, it came back with a vent. It comes totally, totally.
24:23
No, never going to catch a brain that I I guarantee you people
24:27
listening they just learn something.
24:29
Perimenopause, menopause. One day post menopause.
24:33
You know, and I hope so, because people always think, oh, I don't
24:36
have, I don't, I'm not in menopause or I'm not struggling
24:39
with it. I don't have some night sweats.
24:40
I'm not exactly, you know, oh, there's over 54 things, over 54
24:47
symptoms that could go wrong with a woman's body.
24:49
Over 54, that which we know of that can go wrong with a woman's
24:53
body because our entire body is built on estrogen.
24:58
Every one of our systems is built on, I mean, cardiovascular
25:02
digestion, sleep disruption, itchy Crawley skin, electric
25:07
shocks and sensations, joint and muscle pain.
25:10
It exasperates autoimmune to the IMF.
25:13
My gosh, it exasperate. That explains it then, huh?
25:18
So what happened? You menopause made it.
25:21
Your auto my estrogen was just tanking and so my because
25:26
estrogen is it helps with anti or it's an anti-inflammatory it
25:30
as it was declining, my body was getting more and more and more
25:34
inflamed. So I probably started
25:36
perimenopause, I would say around 40 if I had to actually
25:40
pinpoint that. And I had no idea because nobody
25:44
has these conversations. That's that is, and the
25:48
conversations change everything. Everything.
25:51
Treat it. Really.
25:53
And you can, you can, even if it's not something I have,
25:56
because every woman's body is different.
25:58
It's something that they can think about and talk to their
26:00
doctor about and, and have an honest, unjudged conversation.
26:04
I mean the amount of judgment that came and shame.
26:09
Shame, that's awful. I mean, I still think my records
26:12
say I'm an alcoholic. I haven't drank in three years.
26:15
Well, no, five years. What the hell am I talking
26:17
about? It's been 2020.
26:19
So yeah, I mean, intense. Just super wild.
26:23
It has to be a place where you can really be vulnerable because
26:27
it's life and death here. If you feel shamed, you're not
26:30
going to say things or you're just going to be like or if
26:33
you're gaslight, I guess they went to, I don't know, but you
26:35
know what you're feeling you. Know, and I did when I went in
26:39
initially I was super honest, but you're correct.
26:42
I, I quit saying anything because anytime I opened my
26:45
mouth, I thought they were going to judge me and they're going to
26:47
say oh this or oh that. And I, I didn't want to have
26:50
that shame, you know, because I knew I wasn't doing anything
26:53
wrong. But from everything and again, I
26:58
remember my mom going through menopause and I remember her
27:01
having hot flashes. I, I don't think she had any
27:04
resources. Gosh, she navigated it well, I
27:06
think, But what do I know? I don't know.
27:08
She was probably she could have that was but now it seems like
27:12
all my friends and I were like, there's a movement of what is
27:15
going on and are we going to get some help with this or are you?
27:18
Can we talk about it? Yeah, the whole thing, that's a
27:21
whole thing, you know, and there's there's also non
27:23
hormonal ways that you can go about addressing it because
27:26
there are people that have had breast cancer or they're, you
27:29
know, predisposed for breast cancer with different genes and
27:32
things like that. There's so there are other ways
27:35
to manage it. So it doesn't necessarily have
27:37
to be through HRT, OK. But for me that seems to be the
27:41
best it. Helped.
27:42
Yeah, it did help. You know, it's really important
27:45
to me in my mind to to speak with somebody that is versed in
27:49
actual menopause and perimenopause because a lot of
27:52
doctors and you'll hear some of the professionals say you only
27:56
get a couple of hours of the training on menopause like, and
27:59
after that we we don't get anything else.
28:00
It's it's all of these of a couple of the house.
28:04
Women, women's healthcare hasn't really been high on the list.
28:08
No, but you know, we're just, we just keep popping the babies
28:10
out. Just let us know when you have
28:13
some time, right? All the research is in
28:15
reproductive health. If you look at it, there's a
28:17
couple bucks thrown at menopause.
28:19
Oh, you're up to pastor. I mean in the 50s.
28:21
Seriously, we're still here. We're still here, guys.
28:24
Guys would take their their wives and they would say commit
28:28
her to the institution and they would trade up.
28:32
Because they were. Because they would lose their
28:34
mind a little bit. And it's, I mean, it's sucks,
28:38
but that's the reality of the situation.
28:40
Nobody was talking. Nobody was talking about it.
28:42
Makes the shame even worse. And then they did a whole study
28:47
on HRT back in the 80s and all of the data was incorrect.
28:50
So everybody that was on HRT was, I can't remember
28:55
specifically and I'd have to look it up on that study, but
28:58
it's something to do with they, they just determined that it
29:01
caused breast cancer. So every woman was like, I'm not
29:04
touching it. I don't want to go on HRT.
29:06
So this went on until just recently, they've just recently
29:09
have come out with new studies saying it does not 'cause HRT is
29:13
not the cause of cancer if you are administering it properly,
29:16
if you're doing the things that you need to be doing and
29:19
checking. And so Can you imagine how many
29:22
women have suffered? I know my mom in particular has
29:25
suffered her. Her bladder has fallen out.
29:27
She's had two heart attacks because all of these systems are
29:31
based off of estrogen and when you take the estrogen away,
29:35
you're up a Creek. So that's the critical, if
29:37
anyone were to understand, if anyone's first time ever hearing
29:40
about menopause and they're like, oh, OK, so you stop
29:42
periods and then what's the big deal?
29:43
It's the estrogen drop. It's the estrogen drop systems.
29:47
Yes, yes, all the systems affect everything about you.
29:51
Everything about you, you know, I hear so many women talk about,
29:54
you know, I can't lose any weight and I, I'm miserable and
29:57
blah, blah, blah. That's, that's a symptom of
29:59
menopause. That's a symptom of your
30:01
estrogen being unregulated. And the belly fat is called
30:05
visceral fat. And the visceral fat is what
30:08
kind of wraps around your organs.
30:10
And so that's when it becomes dangerous.
30:12
You know, that's how women go into cardiac arrest and that's
30:14
how they end up with all of these organ damage or all the
30:17
organ damage that they do because they're putting on this
30:20
visceral fat that no matter how much you work out, you're never
30:23
going to get. Get rid of it and and which.
30:25
Is what happened to me. So if if they're if you're
30:28
listening this and and this sounds like you, it's worth a
30:31
conversation to see if hormone replacement therapy or what you
30:35
can do right, Yes. And now what is the typical?
30:39
I'm going to fire questions at you.
30:40
You're good. You're a typical.
30:42
Age of menopause, I got my period later and then my mom got
30:46
hers later. But then she started real early.
30:49
Menopause. She went into menopause early.
30:52
You can, you know, there's if you go into medically induced
30:56
menopause, that's if you have a hysterectomy.
30:58
So you could be earlier, but you could in as late or.
31:02
Excuse me, as early as your late 30s, you could start to be
31:06
symptomatic, yes. And then you could go for and
31:11
then maybe some it. I guess it probably depends on
31:13
the person. It just it.
31:14
Depends on the the person genetic makeup, but you know, a
31:17
good often mid 40s is a really good yeah, the cater.
31:21
So I'm glad we're having this conversation.
31:23
It'll be 44 in December. So Yep, when I saw when we
31:27
connected, I was like, I, I've been telling my friends and
31:30
they're like, Oh my gosh, we got a lesson in that, you know,
31:33
they're all sweating and like. No, it's the truth.
31:37
Everybody's. Kind of like care symptoms and
31:39
then I'm. Sorry I'm later.
31:42
Oh no, I don't have that, but I have.
31:44
I have that, yeah. It's like literally like the
31:47
menu of. I haven't seen that one yet, but
31:49
I'll look out for that. Yes.
31:51
It's so true. You like?
31:52
Laughing. Together, people have to
31:54
understand women in particular that are in this space, They
31:57
have to understand it's a whole, it's a whole vibe.
31:59
You can't just say I'm gonna throw some HRT at it.
32:03
You have to it as a whole lifestyle change.
32:06
It comes down to walking, resistance training, different
32:11
vitamins, community and advocacy.
32:14
You know, women that are that, that feel alone in this space,
32:17
they have like a a suicide rate of 26 more percent.
32:21
So I mean, it's, it's important for us to connect and ask
32:25
because I know for me, my husband hears it, he understands
32:29
it. He puts up with a lot, but he he
32:32
doesn't walk in my shoes. So I still feel that level of
32:36
disconnect. Yeah.
32:37
You know, you'll never. Exactly.
32:39
You can't. You just have that disconnect.
32:42
Yeah. And it's.
32:44
It's hard to say. Oh, it's just menopause.
32:47
And he's like, OK, crazy. When So what do we do about
32:52
that? I asked Ryan before my husband.
32:55
I said, hey, if you haven't, I know you're a dude, but if you
32:58
could ask any questions about menopause, what would you ask?
33:01
And he was like doing a stretch. And he looks at me and he's
33:04
like, I don't really know what to ask because.
33:08
And I was like, this is exactly the problem, No.
33:11
And then he's like, I guess how can I best support you?
33:15
And I was like. Perfect.
33:16
So said Ryan Bravo like. Whatever is not gonna get me in
33:20
trouble, no. But how such a man thing?
33:23
I love it. I.
33:24
Know it's almost like they have to whatever symptoms you're
33:27
having, they have to hold space for you to have those and treat
33:31
them, yes. And I'm pretty sure my husband
33:33
says at least five times a day if I have to hear the word
33:36
menopause one more time. Oh, he's like Ryan with
33:40
podcasts. He's like, I'm not a whole joke.
33:41
He's like, I have a podcast. I have a podcast, podcast,
33:44
podcast. I'm like, shut up.
33:46
I'm in menopause, so I'm cranky right now.
33:48
Be quiet. What do you want to do about it?
33:51
Yeah, I know. I interest bread because that's
33:53
rooms hot. I literally.
33:54
Sweat all the time. I do too.
33:57
The night sweat night. Sweats are the worst because you
34:00
wake up and you you're cold. Yeah, dread.
34:02
And you're cold because you're laying in sweat.
34:04
Oh God. I have a friend of mine said
34:06
don't buy a new mattress until this is over, OK?
34:10
4 to 10 years, the other one. Let's see what have I heard?
34:12
My friends, we have the hair loss, sweating.
34:15
Oh God, just joint pain. Oh yeah, I had a out of noir
34:19
really bad back pain and then it went away.
34:21
But then it's just yeah, it's different.
34:24
It's my temperature. Body temperature is very up and
34:27
down, yes, there. And sleep becomes so disrupted
34:32
you just for me anyways, I went through this whole phase where I
34:36
just couldn't sleep and not really made things worse for me
34:40
because it was if you're not getting good quality sleep and
34:43
you're just kind of unregulated. I mean, it just really just sent
34:47
me on this roller coaster. There was a period where I, I
34:51
mean, probably I'd say around this time last year where I
34:54
honestly was so disconnected and so depressed.
34:57
It was the first time in my life I've ever experienced this idle
35:00
thoughts. And I, I swear to God, had you
35:03
known me before any of this, you would never even I think that
35:08
that would be a thing that came out of my mouth.
35:10
But it just remember sitting there and people were laughing
35:13
and joking and I was just like, I felt nothing.
35:15
I felt absolutely nothing. And it was all hormone related
35:20
for me. For me, yeah.
35:22
Thank you for sharing that because I tell you that has been
35:26
a topic on more of my episodes then then you know, then I wish
35:32
it. I'm glad it has come up because
35:35
I've experienced those. Mine was related to the abusive
35:38
situation, but I went through it during this time and I'm sure
35:42
that didn't help. But thank you for sharing.
35:44
Has anyone that hears that that's ever had those thoughts?
35:48
You don't have to have shame about that.
35:50
You don't. It's open.
35:52
Yeah, yeah. And, and it's hard to say that
35:55
out. Loud.
35:55
It's very hard. I remember just sitting there
35:58
looking at my husband and I said I understand now.
36:01
Why, Robin, Millions killed himself.
36:02
Because you see this person with the smile and they fake it so
36:06
well. And that was me.
36:07
I was just faking it. Yeah.
36:10
I mean, I just didn't genuinely have.
36:12
I had nothing. Just nothing.
36:15
Yeah, it was. And.
36:15
So and I'm so sorry you went through that, but thank you.
36:19
I'm so glad that you've been able to come out of that and be
36:23
here now and trust me, I I understand that.
36:26
I understand and it's it's sort of a club that you don't like
36:30
where you've you don't want to say I've been there, but when
36:32
you've been there, you want to share it with people so they
36:34
don't feel shame if they've ever been there.
36:37
Yes, you don't. You can actually be there and
36:39
and decide to keep going. You can really hard.
36:44
That is, that probably would and I you could probably agree that
36:47
is the hardest conversation to have with yourself.
36:50
I have to get out of this bed. I have to.
36:52
Do this shower and I have to brush my hair and that even that
36:56
felt like pain. It just equated to a physical
36:59
pain at that point and there was no real reason.
37:01
It was just the depression that came with just the insane
37:05
fluctuation with my eyes. And.
37:07
That was on HRT, just hadn't found my right dosage yet.
37:12
So there is, and I don't want to lie to people, there is a trial
37:15
and error that comes with that. You know you have, you can't
37:17
have to kind of adjust. Totally with any medications,
37:21
right or any kind of. So you went, you said you went
37:24
to your doctor, you would would anyone, they would just go have
37:27
a conversation about hormone replacement therapy.
37:30
And then you start trying to figure out what works.
37:33
Right. So they started me on the lowest
37:35
dose, which said did offer some relief, but it just, it was
37:38
never, it just never really kind of got me back to like an even
37:42
place. And so then we had pushed it to,
37:46
I started at .25 and I ended up at the, the final was one MC GS
37:52
and that's but that's when I really spun out and that went
37:56
into the depression and all the weird things because I had just
37:58
gone too far. OK, so I backed back down to .75
38:05
changed after talking with my doctor, I was able to kind of
38:07
change how I administered it. So now the instructions
38:12
typically say change it every 3rd day or something like that.
38:15
But I change mine every second, every 72 hours.
38:18
And then I don't experience any plateaus or any declines in my
38:21
estrogen. So that kind of that has helped
38:23
me. Yeah, I know that won't help
38:25
everybody, but you, it's definitely a conversation up
38:28
with your doctor. Yeah, yeah.
38:29
Did you have to explore options based on we're all unique
38:33
bodies, right? And all your body chemistry and
38:37
whether, and I'm sure whether you've now this might be a silly
38:40
question, but I'm going to ask it whether you've had kids or
38:43
not, is that you're going to go through menopause.
38:47
But it could. There's so many factors in how
38:50
you experience it and then which symptoms you actually
38:53
experience. Yes, yes, absolutely.
38:55
And you know, lifestyle's a big contributor, too.
38:58
Yeah, You know, estrogen is spiked if you're, if you're a
39:01
drinker. So it will spike your estrogen,
39:03
which is a really weird thing because it will, it could take
39:07
you to the place that I went to, you know, if you're starting out
39:09
on HRT, maybe kind of step back on the drinking a little bit.
39:12
I'm not saying you have you're an alcoholic.
39:14
I'm not saying that you don't have to quit.
39:15
Just be aware, be aware of the things that can start to like
39:20
spin you out even more because that's ultimately what we're
39:23
trying to avoid is the spin out. Oh yeah, and I will say, just
39:27
being Full disclosure, I'm a social drinker and I have to be
39:30
careful with the amounts because you shouldn't be hanging over
39:34
anyway. My parents are probably like,
39:35
why are you talking about drinking?
39:36
But if you have one too many, which you can't have as many
39:39
because it's just your body doesn't process it as well.
39:42
Even. One even one, yeah.
39:45
And then you also can have the that that anxiety, anxiety.
39:51
So you got to really, I mean, I love my martini and my mimosa,
39:55
but I'm trying to be conscious of it because.
39:56
I get it. My body's changing.
39:58
Totally get it. And it's the weirdest thing too,
40:01
because you don't realize things are going on inside, you know,
40:03
in your mind. We control the narrative.
40:05
Yeah. We always control the narrative,
40:07
yes. You're right, it's happening
40:09
right now. Even though I'm like, I'm fine,
40:10
I just sweat. That's it.
40:11
Nothing else going on. But.
40:13
Actually, I heard that so many times, so many women.
40:16
Oh, no, I'm fine. I don't have this.
40:18
I don't have that. Think about your heart.
40:20
Think about your organs. What's going on inside?
40:23
Yeah, yeah. And do people, do you typically
40:26
start with your primary care and then do you, do you get hormone
40:30
replacement therapy from a gynecologist or from your
40:32
primary? You know, you can go to your
40:34
gynecologist, your primary, they're they're less versed than
40:39
probably the gynecologist and they're going to probably say,
40:42
oh, you're just sad. Here's an antidepressant or, you
40:45
know, I I just had a friend of mine go to the doctor last week
40:48
and she was, well, you know, even though I'm 60, I think I
40:52
still need some estrogen. And the doctor's like, well, I
40:55
don't really believe in that. And I think you're OK.
40:56
Yeah. Well, you say that you believe
40:58
in it and tell me I'm OK. There's.
41:00
Research and I I think I. Don't talk science.
41:03
Then you kind of question yourself and then you just end
41:06
up doing nothing. Yes, yes.
41:08
So for me, I started, I started with I I researched a specific
41:13
to menopause Dr. and she's online and I think I mentioned
41:17
her earlier, her name is Giselle, but she's with Wish
41:20
health. So and she's like I said, she's
41:23
all root cause. She definitely looks at all of
41:26
those things. But there are other services out
41:28
there that you can look at as well that you can get online and
41:31
it kind of takes the guesswork out of it too.
41:33
It's sort of nice, you know, Oh, I'm calling you because I'm just
41:36
going to talk to you about menopause.
41:37
You know, I don't want to talk to you about this or that.
41:39
It's just menopause. Yes.
41:43
And you feel like they know a little more.
41:45
Well, yes, and you are a menopause coach.
41:48
Yes, yes. So.
41:49
That you can compliment going to a doctor.
41:52
Tell me about what you do at men.
41:54
I'm just jumping right in there because.
41:55
No, you're good. You're good.
41:56
Yeah. When I go to the doctor, is that
41:58
the question? Like when you for your business?
42:00
Are you guys coaching women through menopause?
42:03
Yeah, we are. So I do agree more of the
42:06
accountability aspect for me. OK, You know, because a lot of
42:10
women just want the quick fix. And trust me, ladies, I did too.
42:14
Believe me. There was that I laid in that
42:16
bed and I had the blankets over my head and they couldn't face
42:18
the world for two weeks. I wanted the quick fix too.
42:22
Yeah, but it doesn't come quick. You.
42:24
I started with HRT and I started just kind of figuring out what
42:29
the dosage was, what worked, what didn't work, all the freak
42:31
outs in between. I started.
42:33
Let me just. I forced myself to get up every
42:37
morning, even if it was a 10 minute workout and just moved my
42:41
body through yoga through just little videos online.
42:46
Something you got to move. Something, anything.
42:48
And so as I started to kind of feel better, I started involving
42:53
my menopals with me. And so now we do workouts in the
42:57
morning at 7:00 AM Pacific Standard Time.
43:00
And we have, you know, we have other classes that we offer
43:03
classes on how to cook for, for moon friendly.
43:06
I love it meditations. We've got a therapist coming
43:09
online in October and she'll be doing a meditation and group
43:13
sessions. I mean, we're fairly new to the
43:15
scene, but we've built out a pretty good infrastructure.
43:18
It's just implementing all of the things, and we definitely
43:21
are. If you need someone at 2:00 in
43:23
the morning because you're having to freak out, call us.
43:25
That's how we are. It's a community.
43:29
You're building a community. It's a community and we want
43:33
women to be included. We want people to know that
43:36
you're not alone in this. You're not crazy and hormones
43:40
suck. Yeah, I mean, I I can tell you
43:44
like it's being a woman. You would think by this time you
43:47
kind of know how to be a woman. I can.
43:49
I deal with periods. I can, yes.
43:51
Whether if you've not have kids, doesn't matter if you've had
43:54
kids, exactly. You know how to deal.
43:56
You're being a woman. Happens every month.
43:58
And then this blah, blah, blah. Yeah, but you actually don't
44:02
know about this next whole phase.
44:05
Right. I felt lied to.
44:07
Personally tells us it changes. Thought it was just going to be
44:10
some hot flashes and this was over.
44:12
I thought if you would have asked me a couple years ago what
44:16
is menopause, I would say you don't have periods and you sweat
44:20
a little bit and that is it. Me too me.
44:23
Too, and then it sucks for a while and then you're fine.
44:26
And then everything's fine. Yeah, me.
44:27
Too not there's 53 other symptoms.
44:30
Or more or more. I mean, it's just wild what it
44:34
does to your body. What are some of the symptoms
44:38
that people might be surprised by in those fifth?
44:41
So let's see, there's the common ones and then it's really, I
44:45
guess it could be, it depends how your body responds to lower
44:49
estrogen. Right.
44:50
It just, it all depends on how your body is responding, you
44:54
know, and your lifestyle. You know, if you are really not
44:57
into working out or any kind of walking, things build up in your
45:01
system, you know, soluble fiber, soluble fiber.
45:04
Who knew how important that would be in our lives?
45:07
And a lot of women don't know the difference between fiber and
45:10
soluble fiber. Soluble fiber.
45:12
You need at least 25 grams a day a day.
45:15
What is the difference between fiber and soluble fiber?
45:19
Well, soluble. Fiber, I know I have to probably
45:22
get back to you on that one off the top of my head.
45:26
It's just. You need to make sure it's on
45:27
the package. Yeah, Yeah.
45:29
Well, soluble fiber definitely is like a Metamucil or like for
45:33
me, like I use psyllium husk and I I have that every day and I
45:37
add tie seeds to my, you know. Those little ways to get it,
45:42
yeah. Yes, yes, yes.
45:43
And eating more fruits and vegetables.
45:45
The soluble fiber, what it does is it kind of attaches to any of
45:48
the toxins and the things in your body and it helps push
45:51
those out of your body. So there's not build up in your
45:53
system. So your liver is not working
45:55
harder to process it. You're able to get some of this
45:57
visceral fat off, which soluble fiber will help tremendously
46:01
with visceral fat rather than all of these intense workouts.
46:04
Crazy fad diets and things like that increase.
46:08
Your Ding fiber yes, so diet moving and you were mentioning
46:14
that you guys are going to do meditation that mental emotional
46:18
you need to nurture. Yourself, yeah, mentally,
46:21
self-care. I mean, I don't think people
46:23
talk enough about self-care in the ways that they need to talk
46:26
about it. You know, self cares, take care
46:29
of you, love you. But I mean, it's genuinely
46:31
stopping acknowledging that feeling and thinking to yourself
46:36
and processing it and however it feels good to you and working
46:39
through it and doing that shadow work and processing how you got
46:45
to that point and what are the things that you can do to heal
46:48
you. And it feels selfish.
46:51
It feels really selfish because we've spent our whole lives
46:54
pleasing people, but our brain is legitimately, science has
46:58
backed this fact being rewired during this phase of our life.
47:02
We are rewiring our brains. And so even though it feels
47:05
selfish, ladies, just take care of you.
47:07
And if that means you have to sit on the edge of your bed for
47:09
15 minutes and the kids have to wait and somebody's not getting
47:13
dinner or you're not leaving on time, then sit on the edge of
47:15
your bed for 15 minutes because that's how you're going to get
47:18
through that. Not like anybody else.
47:20
You have to get through that. And nobody's coming to save you
47:22
but you. That is, I think every woman
47:26
that's listening to this, it's funny, I have I looked at my
47:29
stats the other day and it's 85% women and I'm like sweet,
47:32
perfect timing menopause. Well, let's talk about it and
47:36
the 15% of you guys, if you are around a woman, listen up
47:40
because you're going through this.
47:42
So everybody. Is support support support?
47:45
15% are going to be the support, Yeah.
47:49
It's just when you said sit on the edge of your bed, that
47:53
really stuck with me because I think we've all had those
47:55
moments where before you go out or before or you're looking in
47:58
the bathroom mirror and you're just like, like whatever is
48:01
going on, you have to go or you have to.
48:03
But do you have to go? Right?
48:05
Maybe you need. We're all like, no, but we have
48:07
to go. But your mental health, maybe
48:10
that's worse than being late today.
48:11
Yeah, if you can. That's a great point.
48:14
You don't have to be the perfect mom and get them there Seven,
48:17
you know, 5 out of it. Like if you need that.
48:19
Hey, sorry, it probably changed your day.
48:22
Yeah, it probably changed your whole life.
48:26
I mean, it'll change. Like how you show up for the the
48:28
kids and then how it's a ripple effect.
48:31
Yes, yeah, all the way down. I think it's so important.
48:35
I mean, it that took me a while to get used to and to practice.
48:38
And it takes practice because I've always been a pleaser and
48:41
oh, let me get this or I'll fix this.
48:43
And I'll tell you, my kids have struggled with this.
48:46
They've struggled with the fact that I'm not there to Johnny on
48:48
the spot to fix everything for them because I'd always taken
48:52
over and just been, OK, I'll help you, OK, I'll fix that.
48:55
But now I'm like, Oh no, I'm taking care of me.
48:57
And they are like, what are you doing?
48:59
Why aren't you doing this for me?
49:01
And I'm like, well, because it's either that or it'll lose my
49:04
mind. Yeah, you're like, trust me,
49:05
when I come back in an hour, I'm going to be a lot happier.
49:07
Like, actually. But when you're going to go to
49:11
therapy or join, go on a walk with your friends or go out with
49:15
your friends, whatever it is, Like, it was instant.
49:17
The other night it was 5:00 and I went on a walk with my friend.
49:20
And then I had a little twinge of mom guilt being like, oh, we
49:23
haven't seen him today. And then I was like, but you
49:26
know what? I really need this walk.
49:28
Yes, I will. Be such a better mom when I come
49:30
back and we had a great night. But if I before, I'd be like,
49:33
oh, I'm just not gonna go. I need to be there at 5 instead
49:34
of 6. No, you don't.
49:36
If, if I'm not saying if, if somebody is there with them,
49:40
Don't let that mom guilt prevent you from going to take the walk
49:43
where you talk. 1000% right, 1000% is.
49:45
The mom girl will come in. It'll come in and be like, well,
49:48
why do you have to walk right now?
49:50
It's been all day. You haven't seen them.
49:52
And I'm like, well, they're gonna have to wait one more hour
49:53
because I need to walk, right? Yes.
49:56
Because you have to be the best version of you.
49:57
You have to decompress those thoughts.
49:59
You have to smell that fresh air.
50:01
You have to get outside and reconnect with you before you
50:04
can show up for anybody else. And that is the hardest thing I
50:09
think my family has struggled with is me doing things for me
50:12
because they're like, what the heck can you do?
50:14
And that's that for me. You're.
50:16
Like you, Sorry. I should you gotta do it.
50:18
You got it. I'm, I'm just gonna go like, you
50:20
know, it's. All my kids are grown too.
50:22
My baby just turned 18 in July. Hey.
50:24
So hey, hey, he's he's the nest. So you, so there's what I'm
50:31
hearing so far is that just to, to kind of remind people,
50:35
perimenopause lasts 4 to 10 years.
50:38
Menopause is that day where you're like, wow, it's been
50:41
exactly 12 months without a period.
50:43
Yeah. And then one day after.
50:45
Yeah. And then so you need to be aware
50:47
of your what's going on with yourself during all of those and
50:50
there's options to help. Yes, there are.
50:53
There's multiple options to help.
50:55
And again, it's not going to be overnight.
50:57
It's going to be a slow process. I mean, I'd say probably factor
51:02
in a year of just really committing to the processes that
51:06
you put in place for yourself, the workouts, the the
51:09
supplements, the routine. Routine is key.
51:12
Oh my God, it's so key. Take your medications at the
51:15
same time. Don't you know, look at the
51:18
instructions? Can you take stuff with this
51:20
one? Can you not take stuff?
51:21
Can you eat with this? Can you not eat with this?
51:23
Once you get all of those things kind of dialed in, it's
51:26
important to know that there will be the up and down.
51:30
There will be the the frustration, just don't throw in
51:32
the towel. If I could get any advice, and
51:35
you are the CEO of your body when you're talking to doctors,
51:39
do not let somebody tell you otherwise.
51:43
That's a great lie. I'm never going to forget that.
51:46
Yeah. You need to be you to advocate
51:49
for yourself. The more the more you connect
51:52
with my menopause. How are you supposed to advocate
51:55
if you don't know what's going on?
51:57
And then by connecting with other women, you know you're
52:01
going in with this whole knowledge, right?
52:03
Right, right. And I'll, I'll tell you even to
52:07
this day, I'll go in with knowledge and doctors are like,
52:10
I've never heard of that. Like, well then you're not the
52:12
doctor for me. Well, Yep, that's why I'm going
52:15
to head out now. Yeah, you're like.
52:17
This also happened to be the one that told me my body would
52:20
adjust. Yeah, you're like, yeah, I will
52:22
also adjust my doctor. Thank you.
52:25
I love how you said it, though, because it's almost like I'm at
52:28
that point now where I'm accepting that like the sweats
52:31
have been happening long enough. I just got some like supplements
52:35
and I'm like, OK, I'm, I'm in that life phase.
52:38
But like, it's sort of like, OK, I think I need to be more
52:41
disciplined about movement, I think.
52:43
And it's almost like being like, OK, this is the life phase and
52:46
I'm, it's almost like saying instead of fighting it, I'm here
52:50
and I'm going to nurture myself. When you're working out, you're
52:53
nurturing yourself, actually. True story, true story.
52:56
And it tells you. It reminds you to be grateful
52:59
for your body, for what your body can do.
53:01
Instead of being so ticked off all the time at the things that
53:04
are wrong. Just change the conversation in
53:08
your head. Yes, thank you, body.
53:11
Your body will will probably respond, your brains like, oh,
53:14
we get up and work out. This is what we do.
53:16
We are healthy and all the affirmations and we're not
53:19
alone. We talk to our friends about
53:21
this. Yes, it's OK.
53:23
It's a whole program. It's a whole program.
53:25
It's a program if you set it up for yourself and you have to
53:29
follow it. And I'm telling you, if you give
53:30
yourself a year and some people will see results a lot sooner.
53:34
Yeah, For me, it's typically here.
53:36
Just going to be honest. Great investment though, look at
53:39
you now. Though hair came back.
53:41
Your hair looks amazing. Had you seen it before?
53:45
So tell me, I'm going to put all of the links to everything in
53:49
the show notes of OK, how to follow you on Instagram, your
53:53
website. Is there anything you'd like to
53:55
say to anyone who's listening, who might need some coaching,
53:59
who's looking for a community? Yeah, I mean, menopause isn't
54:03
the Cliff that you fall off. It's a bridge you walk over.
54:06
I mean, that's kind of where I'm at with it.
54:09
I almost didn't survive my perimenopause because no one
54:12
connected those dots for me. But I'm here to help you connect
54:15
the dots. I want you to know that you're
54:18
not alone, and that if nobody else listens, I will.
54:21
That's amazing. I love It's a bridge.
54:24
That is such a great way to think about it.
54:27
Thank you. I feel like you get to this
54:29
phase in your life and you're like, I finally like have like
54:33
you. When you get that confidence or
54:35
you've like had life experience, then your body starts to turn on
54:38
you. You're like, no, this is this
54:40
could be the best time of life for women.
54:42
I. Know, I thought, my gosh, my
54:43
kids are turning to 18. They're all grown.
54:46
I'm gonna be, I better just do whatever.
54:48
And then it was like. So I guarantee you someone
54:53
listening is like having a moment where they're like, okay,
54:56
I'm going to have that conversation.
54:57
Even if you just start the dialogue, just start the
55:01
dialogue. And let me know, get involved
55:04
with our program, just get back out with us in the morning.
55:07
Well, if the time. Clocks coming up, Yeah.
55:09
Come up September 7th, we're going to have a cooking class.
55:12
I mean, and it's all live, it's all virtual.
55:15
So you cook in your own kitchen so you don't have to feel like
55:18
you have to go and meet people and be anxious around them.
55:20
And I did that by design because I did the story in Florida.
55:24
I didn't want to leave my friend's house because they
55:26
couldn't be around people. And it wasn't nothing to do with
55:29
people. It was my own nervous system.
55:31
Yes, nervous. The nervous system is powerful,
55:34
man, so. Powerful.
55:35
Holy moly. I just learned that in the last
55:38
year and I'm like what? Oh, yeah, You get your nervous
55:43
system back under control. You and your nervous system are
55:45
going to have a good time. You're a lot of things.
55:47
I use magnesium cream for that a lot.
55:49
I'll put it on my chest and I put it on the bottom of my feet,
55:53
OK. And I found a place locally
55:55
actually, and I really love these, this place.
55:57
It's all very homeopathic. And I know, I know people think,
56:01
Oh my gosh, homeopathic, whatever.
56:02
But OK, your skin is your biggest receptor.
56:05
I mean, it's your biggest organ. So you're right.
56:07
What you're putting on your skin is being absorbed into your
56:10
system. It's going directly your
56:12
bloodstream. So you want to try to use the
56:14
most natural things possible to get those chemicals out of your
56:18
system. I mean for me that that works.
56:21
No, you're right. You're right.
56:22
I actually just got my skin checked and he kept telling me
56:24
about like, I'm like, Oh yeah, it's like organ.
56:26
That is, it's this is an organ. Yeah, and you don't think about
56:29
it because it's our skin. It's covering my organs.
56:31
You're like, no, it's an organ. It's an organ.
56:34
No, but it really genuinely is the biggest 1.
56:37
And I mean, putting all these chemicals on it.
56:39
I mean, think about all of the products that we use in a day.
56:42
I mean, it's intense. It's a lot.
56:44
It's a lot. So I try to use and I look, I
56:47
didn't go out and just dump all my stuff, but I was 1 little
56:50
product at a time. I was able to replace that's.
56:53
That's a good way to think about it.
56:54
It's one day at a time. You do something, you.
56:56
Yeah, check. Let's check my lotions today,
56:58
then we'll check that's tomorrow, right?
57:00
Yeah. Let us help you walk over the
57:02
bridge. Yeah, and that's where it is.
57:04
You've been down this path. You, you coach people on this
57:08
path. And I think the biggest thing
57:11
that women when when we come together, it's literally it's
57:15
life altering. We're powerful.
57:16
You don't. Have to, and especially
57:17
together, yeah, you don't have to suffer you.
57:21
Do not have to suffer. Yeah.
57:23
And please let me know if you have questions because I can.
57:25
If I don't have the answers, which sometimes and a lot of
57:28
times I don't, I will direct you in the right place.
57:30
Yeah, Oh my gosh. Well, I, I want to, I'm gonna
57:34
come to that September 7th. Cooking.
57:36
I shared the story and I'm gonna do because I'm trying to learn
57:40
how to cook anyway because I'm not very good.
57:43
My husband did not marry me for cooking skills.
57:46
I'm really bad. I'm awful.
57:48
It's okay, you're cute, you're fun, all the things talk.
57:52
I talk a lot. So me.
57:54
Too. He's all quiet.
57:55
He's quiet and calm. My husband.
57:57
People are like, yeah, that makes sense.
57:59
We would die if we were both the same.
58:00
So me. Too.
58:01
My husband's always like, what are you doing?
58:03
Now I'm like, oh, don't worry about it.
58:06
Oh, yeah. I was like, I have to go.
58:07
I'm doing a podcast about menopause.
58:09
He's like, cool. Like are you gonna be in a good
58:11
mood or I'm like, I don't know, but I'm burning up.
58:17
It's OK. I posted.
58:19
I'm literally so hot. It was so.
58:21
Hot in this room. And then it comes down and then
58:23
I'm freezing and then yeah, I hear a sad song and then I cry
58:28
and oh. My gosh, on the final note, I
58:31
just I hate to go tell you this last story, which is just
58:33
terrifying. So as I was super sick and I,
58:36
you know, was just feel felt figured out.
58:38
I had to celiac and I was coming out of it and I was trying to do
58:41
normal things and I was just still this big around.
58:43
I'm standing in my front yard watering my lawn and my pants
58:47
fell off just standing there. Right there in the front yard,
58:50
in front of my entire neighborhood.
58:52
I. Just like.
58:53
You just fell down. Just fell.
58:55
Just fell. I ran on that house so fast.
58:59
I've moved in years. Wow, so.
59:03
If you think that you're going through it, just call me girls.
59:06
You've been there. There's no shame in this game.
59:09
There is no shame in this game and we're going to get through
59:11
this together. Let's do it.
59:13
And you know what? Humor has been a huge tool.
59:16
I can't tell you how many reels and memes we send each other
59:19
about my friends and I, about menopause.
59:21
I'm sweating. You're like, yeah, me too.
59:24
It's pretty. Funny, it's funny.
59:25
Fans just blowing at me. Tornado winds.
59:28
I'm like feels great. Oh yeah, it's so funny.
59:31
But Raquel, I don't even know how to stop talking because this
59:36
is does not feel like the first time we've met.
59:38
It feels like it. Doesn't it?
59:39
Doesn't. Picking, I'm picking up what
59:41
you're putting down. So please everybody check out
59:44
the show notes, especially if you're a woman and if you're a
59:47
man who is with a woman that might be in parameter bus and
59:52
you want to figure out what is going on.
59:54
Raquel can help the men as well through that.
59:57
Thank you so much. For having, I really do
1:00:00
appreciate you having me. I was gonna, I was gonna say for
1:00:03
having me and for having me have you on the show, yes.
1:00:07
Well, you're the one with the podcast.
1:00:08
I have the menopause. Hey, thank you for having
1:00:11
menopause that I can also learn from.
1:00:13
I'm in Paris right now. Yes, officially, it's
1:00:17
officially. Harry myself, so don't worry.
1:00:20
All right? Cool.
1:00:21
It's OK. I don't want to be totally over
1:00:23
the hump yet. For some reason, I'm not.
1:00:24
I'm not ready to let go. Hey.
1:00:26
You know, who knows? It could be a year or five more
1:00:30
or seven. I don't know.
1:00:31
Anybody's guess? Yeah.
1:00:34
All right. Thank you.
1:00:35
So much yes, I can't wait to post this and we will connect
1:00:40
soon. All right.
1:00:41
Take care. Take care.