Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 650: Will My Ex Miss Me If I Leave Them Alone?

Transcript

Episode 650: Will My Ex Miss Me If I Leave Them Alone? · The Art of Love With Lucia

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  Will your ex miss you if you leave them alone?
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  Well, this video could literally be 30 seconds because my
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  flippant response to that question is well if you don't
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  leave them alone, they will definitely not miss you.
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  However, I know you want me to actually answer the question, so
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  stay tuned and I will. Hi, this is Lucia with the Art
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  of Love. I'm a deity and relationship
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  expert specializing in helping you get your ex back or to get
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  over your ex. And welcome back my beautiful no
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  contact Army. Have you downloaded my app
• 0:28
  Silencio to help you stay in no contact?
• 0:31
  If not, the link is underneath every single video and podcast.
• 0:34
  And if you two would like to join our beautiful no contact
• 0:37
  army, and it is beautiful. I've seen some of my followers,
• 0:41
  they are very attractive. Then all you have to do is hit
• 0:43
  the subscribe button and the bell notification and you're in.
• 0:48
  And to read our manual, go to nocontactsecrets.com where you
• 0:52
  can read 2 free chapters before you purchase the book.
• 0:56
  So the reason that you're asking this question about whether your
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  ex will miss you, and it's because you assume that if they
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  miss you that that will make them want to reach out and come
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  back. But what you're really asking
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  is, will they finally realize what they had?
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  Well, are you worth having? I mean, if you were a bad
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  partner, what's to miss now? Hopefully the times when you
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  were anxious, needy, jealous, possessive, out of control were
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  minimal compared to the amount of time their relationship was
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  amazing. Otherwise, once they get past
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  the relief stage, and if they're avoidant, especially dismissive
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  avoidant, even if they do miss you, it may not be enough for
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  them to come back. I know you don't want to hear
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  that, but I'm not here to sugarcoat things.
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  I'm here to tell you the truth, and This is why one of the
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  things that you should be doing while you're in no contact is
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  working on yourself, so that if you don't have a secure
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  attachment style, you work to become more secure.
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  If there are aspects of your life that turn people off, work
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  on those. And when you become a great
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  person to be with, people will find it very hard to leave you.
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  And if they do, the chances of them coming back are very high.
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  When you know that you didn't really do anything wrong in the
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  relationship and it was either the situation or the person's
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  family or the person's own issues that caused the breakup,
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  it's easier to deal with rather than having to blame yourself
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  because you ruined it with your behavior.
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  I was just speaking to a client yesterday and his ex is a
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  classic fearful avoidant. She get pulling away, coming
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  back, pulling away, coming back and he did absolutely nothing
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  wrong and that's frustrating because you do everything right
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  and because of their attachment style, they leave.
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  So of course he needs to stay in no contact until she realizes
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  what she had. Now luckily you still have a
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  chance even if you behave badly, thanks to our friend Fab Faded
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  Affect Bias, which I talk about in my video The Seven Reasons
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  That No Contact Works on Everyone.
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  And I will put the link in the upper right hand corner on
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  YouTube. And basically what it means is
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  that as time goes by, we forget the bad memories associated with
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  a person or situation and are only left with the good
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  memories. I think this this is the mind's
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  way of protecting itself. But in order for this to happen,
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  you have to stay no contact to allow them to get out of the
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  relief stage. And eventually it's the point
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  where they will miss you. And people are afraid to do no
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  contact because they think that their ex would just move on and
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  forget about them and they want them to miss them.
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  And I did a video on this topic and I will put the link of
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  course in the upper right hand corner.
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  So of course this isn't true. But you're coming from a fearful
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  mindset where you see everything the opposite of what it is.
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  It's like the upside down and backward world, backward world
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  in Alice in Wonderland. That's why it's good to get an
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  outside perspective to shed some light on your situation.
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  You literally can't see the forest for the trees.
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  That's why no contact is so important because it allows you
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  time to step away from the situation and begin to see
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  things as they really are, which is harder to do when you're
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  actually in the situation. You get a different perspective
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  and you realize that you actually don't want your ex back
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  sometimes. Now.
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  Also, Mother Nature is playing you.
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  It's causing you to have obsessive thoughts because it
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  wants people to propagate. It does not give a damn about no
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  contact. It just wants people to get back
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  together so they can have sex and get pregnant and continue
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  the human race. Do not let Mother Nature fool
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  you. By the way, if you're finding
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  this video helpful, please hit the subscribe button to make
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  sure you don't miss out on any future videos.
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  Thank you. So just because you haven't
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  heard from them yet or just because it seems as if they are
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  not watching your your social media posts, it doesn't mean
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  they don't miss you. And for all you know, they can
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  be watching from a secondary account or have their friends
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  report back to them what you're posting.
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  Now if you saw that your ex is on a dating app, you might be
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  thinking, well, how could they possibly miss me if they're
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  already looking for someone else?
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  Well, actually that's a good sign sometimes because the fact
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  that they're looking for someone else tells you that they
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  actually miss you and their relationship.
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  Otherwise, they would take the time to grieve and not go
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  looking for a rebound, which is all that that's going to be in
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  most cases. So you have to let time do its
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  thing and not interrupt the process by reaching out to them.
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  They may have thought that their life would be better without
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  you, but when they realize that it isn't, that's when they start
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  to miss you. And I talked about this in my
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  video about no contact and the power of time.
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  And yes, I will put the link in the upper right hand corner so
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  someone can't miss you unless there's been time and space
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  between the two of you. And how much time and space is
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  needed depends on so many variables including attachment
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  style, interest level or reason for the breakup, and length of
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  the relationship. Someone who you were talking
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  with or or who you saw every day is probably going to miss you a
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  lot sooner than someone who you talked to or saw once a week,
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  for example. You need to give them time and
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  let them go through situations where you would normally have
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  been with them and they feel your absence.
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  For example, let's say you had brunch together on Sundays and
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  now it's Sunday and they're not brunching.
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  Or they're there with friends and then maybe their friend will
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  tell a funny story and they'll think about how much you would
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  have enjoyed hearing that story and that's the moment they miss
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  you. Or maybe you used to watch a
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  certain show together and now they're watching it alone.
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  Or maybe they travel to a place that the two of you had been
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  before and the memories of your trip there with them hit hit
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  them when they arrive and when they and that's when they start
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  to miss you. And all these triggers take time
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  to happen. They're not going to happen in
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  the first week after the breakup.
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  Impatience is your enemy and patience is your friend.
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  And most people are impatient, so use this situation to work on
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  your patients if you're usually impatient.
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  If you grew up with parents who always gave you what you wanted
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  and you never had to wait for anything that was not good.
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  At some point life is going to force you to be patient whether
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  you want to be or not. It's imperative that you get
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  into no contact and stay there until they reach out and say
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  something significant. Give them the time and the space
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  to miss you over and over again. Let them find out for themselves
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  that they're that you're not easily replaced and they
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  actually can't live without you. We live in a world where most
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  people are used to instant gratification, so they expect
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  their ex to miss them and reach out within a couple of weeks.
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  And that's just not realistic. If they do reach out and want to
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  get back together in a couple of weeks, then it was a fake
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  breakup. Usually it takes months and
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  months to get an ex back. Even when they realize that they
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  miss you. It's a process.
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  So if you want your ex back, you have to give them the gift of
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  missing you. Only then can they realize what
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  they've lost and reach out and try to win you back.
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  OK, so now I want to hear from you.
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  So what do you think are the situations where your ex is
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  going to miss you? What did you guys always do
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  together that now they're going to have to do alone?
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  Comment below. And in the meantime, if you
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  would like to my help to get your ex back, please contact me
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  at theartoflove.net and we will send you the rates.
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  The direct link is below every single video and podcast.
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  If you found this video helpful, please like, subscribe and
• 8:57
  share. If you're listening to this as a
• 8:59
  as a podcast, please rate and review.
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  And finally, remember that love inspires, empowers, uplifts and
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  enlightens.