Latest / Getting After It / 150 - Change Is Hard in the Beginning, But It Becomes Second Nature

Transcript

150 - Change Is Hard in the Beginning, But It Becomes Second Nature · Getting After It

• 0:01
  Brett: Welcome back to the Getting After it podcast.
• 0:03
  Brett: Everyone Happy to have you here today, and I know you might be thinking okay, I'm gearing up for our science lesson today, although I am dressed like a science teacher.
• 0:12
  Brett: That's not what we're talking about today, so, as much as I would love to go into that, we're talking about something completely different.
• 0:18
  Brett: During my studies, I was reading meditations by Marcus Aurelius and I wanted to focus on something that has more of a stoic view on what we're talking about today, and the topic I decided to go with is dealing with change.
• 0:35
  Brett: All things change.
• 0:41
  Brett: Nature is the example of that.
• 0:43
  Brett: And if you think about All things change, nature is the example of that.
• 0:46
  Brett: And if you think about literally the earth itself, the earth passes through seasons, it changes and it adapts and life goes on.
• 0:55
  Brett: You think about the stars.
• 0:55
  Brett: You think about everything.
• 0:56
  Brett: Stars die, planets are destroyed, they're shooting stars.
• 0:58
  Brett: Everything Nature is in constant motion.
• 1:01
  Brett: It's in constant change.
• 1:02
  Brett: We are not immune to that change.
• 1:06
  Brett: In fact, our lives are full of change.
• 1:09
  Brett: I have been one that has not dealt with change very well and I have a few stories to go through today to kind of illustrate these points, and it's something that I struggle with I'm still working on, but change is it's not easy I struggle with, I'm still working on, but change is not easy to cope with and the change I'm talking about, it could be a lifestyle change.
• 1:30
  Brett: So if you want to lose weight, it's not going to be a comfortable experience.
• 1:35
  Brett: You have to adapt to that change.
• 1:37
  Brett: If you get a new job, same kind of thing.
• 1:40
  Brett: It's going to be uncomfortable.
• 1:41
  Brett: If you lose your job.
• 1:42
  Brett: If you get married, if you get divorced, there's a lot of change.
• 1:47
  Brett: If you have kids, this change happens throughout all of our lives.
• 1:51
  Brett: Relationships change, our nature changes, our bodies change and we have to be willing to adapt to whatever happens to us.
• 2:01
  Brett: A great example of that two people who I've had on this podcast Bryce Turley, who had an injury with his hand.
• 2:09
  Brett: He had to relearn a lot of stuff.
• 2:10
  Brett: His experience was not easy, but he's pushed through and he's embraced the change and become a different person.
• 2:17
  Brett: Same with Dave Daly, who was on, I think, around episode 115 or so, but he had a severe neck injury that left him partially paralyzed.
• 2:30
  Brett: He's gotten back to being able to walk again now, but again, his entire life changed in a blink of an eye and these two are very good examples to me of being able to recognize that, hey, I can't really change this situation, but I'm going to make the most of it.
• 2:48
  Brett: That's a powerful mindset to have and I wish I had that more.
• 2:51
  Brett: But, you know, it's helpful for me to be able to talk to people like Bryce and Dave and Rob Jones, who have had these massive life changes, and see how they actually combat it and how they go about dealing with them.
• 3:04
  Brett: They don't let it stop them, and it's kind of what I want to talk about today.
• 3:09
  Brett: And the first thing I want to discuss is when I started trail running, you know, I came off my sub three marathon feeling pretty good about myself and I wanted to change and instead run an ultra marathon.
• 3:22
  Brett: Change and instead run an ultra marathon.
• 3:30
  Brett: I was invigorated by that challenge of being able to run further than a marathon and I didn't, you know I wasn't necessarily focused on the time itself.
• 3:36
  Brett: I I know it was going to take a long time.
• 3:38
  Brett: Running ultra marathons is typically a slower race because you're going up mountains, you're, you're going through trails, you're, you know, dealing with issues that come up, and a sub three is is very different because it's on the road.
• 3:53
  Brett: And so I go back to my coach and I'm telling her this stuff, like, oh yeah, you know, I think a trail ultra marathon would be the next thing for me, like that's what I want to focus on.
• 4:00
  Brett: And she's like, okay, great, let's do it.
• 4:03
  Brett: And the whole idea I was pumped on.
• 4:06
  Brett: I was like, oh okay, this is cool.
• 4:08
  Brett: Until I started seeing in my workout programs that my coach had said that I needed to go and run the trails.
• 4:14
  Brett: And it doesn't sound like a big deal, but it kind of was for me at the time because you know, I was this road runner who just qualified for Boston and that's something that not a lot of people accomplished, so I was very proud of that.
• 4:28
  Brett: I had this thought in my head that if I was to run the trails, people would see that my paces would go significantly up than what they were used to.
• 4:37
  Brett: Seeing it's all from external forces that I was feeling in this thing.
• 4:42
  Brett: I didn't want to disappoint the people who, you know, followed me, or not that people do, but you know I I just didn't want to have to deal with the fact that I would be slower running the trails.
• 4:52
  Brett: And it sounds ridiculous.
• 4:54
  Brett: But the trails, they're a different beast.
• 4:57
  Brett: Like I was used to something where it's very predictable.
• 5:01
  Brett: You know you're running on the road, it's, it's flat for the most part.
• 5:04
  Brett: You might have a few hills.
• 5:05
  Brett: Other than that, nothing really significant is going to happen.
• 5:09
  Brett: But on trails you have steeper climbs, you have uneven footing.
• 5:13
  Brett: More strength is required, like yesterday.
• 5:16
  Brett: I was on a trail run.
• 5:16
  Brett: My butt kills because I was going uphill.
• 5:19
  Brett: I had 2,000 feet elevation gain and it killed me.
• 5:22
  Brett: Like I'm sore.
• 5:23
  Brett: I'm sore today sitting in this chair, a little sore, so so be it.
• 5:28
  Brett: But I was worried about my performance and my ego didn't like the idea of me having people see my slower times.
• 5:40
  Brett: Um.
• 5:41
  Brett: But then I started and I just said you know what?
• 5:44
  Brett: But then I started and I just said you know what?
• 5:49
  Brett: I signed up for this 50k.
• 5:50
  Brett: If I don't run on the trails, I'm going to be in bad shape on race day.
• 5:52
  Brett: I need that experience.
• 5:52
  Brett: So I had to humble myself and get out on the trails and once I started I realized trail running wasn't just necessary, but it was something that I truly loved.
• 6:02
  Brett: Every climb, every run I would do, it made me stronger mentally and physically Every time I would run down the mountain.
• 6:11
  Brett: My balance was improved because I was able to cope with that and adapt.
• 6:15
  Brett: And plus, like the thing that I kept reminding myself is nature doesn't care about your pace.
• 6:23
  Brett: Like it's that thing from DJ Take Two is nature doesn't care about your pace, it's that thing from DJ Take Two your race, your pace, it's all about your own journey.
• 6:31
  Brett: And sometimes the trails beat me into submission and all I can do is laugh in those moments.
• 6:36
  Brett: Yesterday I was going up a steep climb that was comically steep, it was ridiculous.
• 6:42
  Brett: My time was like 27 minutes a mile.
• 6:44
  Brett: It was that steep.
• 6:45
  Brett: Like it was ridiculous.
• 6:46
  Brett: My, my time was like 27 minutes a mile.
• 6:47
  Brett: It was that that steep.
• 6:48
  Brett: And I was just chugging up the mountain and I just started laughing to myself and I was like this is hilarious, but hey, at least technically I'm moving forward.
• 7:00
  Brett: Could be incredibly slow, but whatever.
• 7:01
  Brett: And it wasn't until I jumped in and embraced the change that I recognized that there was actually a love for trail running that I would not have recognized if I didn't take that first step on the trail itself, if I didn't decide to take a chance on myself and actually do something that was going to challenge me.
• 7:17
  Brett: And so it was a good realization for me that, yes, change occurs in everyone's life and yes, change occurs in everyone's life and yes, change occurs in my own fitness journey.
• 7:28
  Brett: But the more you push it away, the more you you try and resist that change, the harder it's going to become.
• 7:34
  Brett: And I want to talk about the stoic lens on impermanence, which, in the simplest sense impermanence you take that word permanent, it's impermanent, so impermanence.
• 7:44
  Brett: Marcus Aurelius he wrote that we cannot control our circumstances, only our responses.
• 7:49
  Brett: I've talked about that before, but the first time I read that it hit me so hard.
• 7:55
  Brett: It's one of those truths that doesn't just sound nice, it really does change every aspect of how you live if you fully embrace that truth.
• 8:04
  Brett: Change every aspect of how you live if you fully embrace that truth.
• 8:09
  Brett: Now, it made me realize at the time that, no matter what life throws at me, I still hold the power to decide my response.
• 8:13
  Brett: And that brings me peace Because at the end of the day, you have to stop obsessing over the tiny details of the problem and instead ask the bigger question how can I act or how can I improve my situation?
• 8:28
  Brett: I've had to learn this in many ways that I didn't necessarily choose.
• 8:32
  Brett: For example, I have a tumor in my pituitary gland.
• 8:35
  Brett: It forced me to change.
• 8:37
  Brett: It damaged an area in my pituitary gland that prevents my body from producing certain hormones, and so I don't really recover as quickly as I'd like to.
• 8:49
  Brett: My mind isn't always as sharp as I need it to be, but I've learned that one thing that helps me is asking for help from other people, and that doesn't make you weaker.
• 9:02
  Brett: It makes your goals easier because of what I've recognized is people want to help you achieve your goals.
• 9:07
  Brett: And same thing with change.
• 9:09
  Brett: Like if you're dealing with a significant change, talk to some people, because everyone has to go through changes in their life and they might have something that could be beneficial to you to at least move you forward.
• 9:21
  Brett: And even if it's comically slow like when I'm going up the mountains and just saying, hey, technically I am moving forward, even though it's slow and change embracing change can be a very slow process at times, and so be patient when that happens.
• 9:36
  Brett: But other people can help and people want to, so sometimes you just need to let them.
• 9:44
  Brett: In the past I saw I saw change as pure loss, like I was giving up something that I really enjoyed in the in the past, but that mindset kept me locked in on the negative.
• 9:54
  Brett: If you're always thinking about what you lack, then that's going to lead to some significant mental battles.
• 10:00
  Brett: There's a lot that we are missing in our lives, like I'm sure you could pinpoint a few things that you wish you had more of.
• 10:07
  Brett: It could be money, it could be time, it could be time with your family, it could be whatever you want to get better at your fitness goals, but there's always something we can want more of, and if you focus on that too much, in my experience it leads you to be like man I'm just not going to be able to do the thing, which spirals you.
• 10:25
  Brett: It's not a good place to be, and one thing that has helped me with this specifically is when I feel like I am resisting to change or I feel like I'm holding onto something in the past, like when I moved up to Utah.
• 10:45
  Brett: I left my family in Arizona and, instead of trying to make new friends in Utah or trying to make the most of my situation, I was kind of a bum, like I was sad the first month I was up there because I missed so much of my old life and I wasn't going to get it back.
• 11:03
  Brett: I already made this decision to move up to Utah.
• 11:05
  Brett: I already made the decision to work for a new company and start my life up there.
• 11:09
  Brett: And until I fully said, okay, there's no going back, that's when I started looking for the other aspects of my situation that I could, I could improve, I could change and say, okay, well, what is my life like right now?
• 11:23
  Brett: Okay, well, what certain things do I want to change about it?
• 11:26
  Brett: And with those certain things, how can I break them up into small, actionable steps to actually get it done?
• 11:34
  Brett: One thing that helps me a lot is the stoic practice of I'm going to get this wrong, but it's the premeditation of evils.
• 11:43
  Brett: But the real word is premeditatio malorum, which really, in the simplest sense, is you imagine the worst case scenario.
• 11:54
  Brett: It sounds weird, but I promise it helps.
• 11:57
  Brett: The point isn't to live in fear, it's to be prepared.
• 12:02
  Brett: So when the unexpected happens, you meet it with a calm sense instead of panic.
• 12:07
  Brett: And when you think about this change that's happening in your life, where you think about things that you need to change, ask yourself with each one what's the worst thing that could happen.
• 12:19
  Brett: Play out a couple scenarios.
• 12:21
  Brett: Think about, okay, this could happen.
• 12:24
  Brett: Play out a couple scenarios.
• 12:24
  Brett: Think about, okay, this could happen, great, or this could Okay.
• 12:27
  Brett: And how would you respond in each of those times when things don't go your way or things are harder than you imagine them to be, what's your response going to be like?
• 12:36
  Brett: Because, like I said in the beginning this is why that comment from Marcus Aurelius hit me so hard is that you cannot control your circumstances, only your responses.
• 12:46
  Brett: So when you recognize that it gives you a lot of power because you're and then you're not thinking about all the things that are going wrong or the circumstances that you're in that you might not be able to get out of at the time, you can control your responses.
• 13:01
  Brett: You can't control your circumstances.
• 13:03
  Brett: I can't control that there's a pituitary tumor in my head, but I can control how I respond to it.
• 13:08
  Brett: I can't control that I signed up for a 50K and if I don't show up actually, I can't control that.
• 13:14
  Brett: Cane I I?
• 13:18
  Brett: If I don't show up actually, I can't control that.
• 13:20
  Brett: I can't control if I sign up for a 50k and show up on race day never running the trails, and do pretty bad.
• 13:24
  Brett: Instead, I can control myself by being like, okay, I'm just gonna go out and run the trails, but you see what I'm saying here and you can see how there's a lot of power with just maybe flipping the script a little bit, understanding, taking a step back.
• 13:39
  Brett: My philosophy now with change is pretty simple it's embrace change, for it has already found a new home.
• 13:45
  Brett: Change is here, it's entered into your house, it's with you, so embrace it, give it a hug, say hey, you don't have power over me.
• 13:56
  Brett: Now here's a couple things that I brought from meditations that I really like, that I want to talk about today.
• 14:03
  Brett: So the first one nature is in constant motion.
• 14:07
  Brett: Marcus compares time to a river.
• 14:10
  Brett: He says it's always moving, never letting you step in the same water twice, and that's something that I've really felt in my own life, like there's there's been multiple points where I've realized I wasn't really living in the moment.
• 14:22
  Brett: I was trying to rush through things, and when you rush through, you typically miss the good stuff.
• 14:28
  Brett: If you're not allowing yourself to pause and to be in the moment that you're in right now, that moment's going to pass and, with whatever was happening there, you might have missed out on an opportunity.
• 14:39
  Brett: If you're going to have FOMO with anything.
• 14:41
  Brett: Have FOMO with the present, fear of missing out.
• 14:44
  Brett: Like, don't miss out on the present, because that's the only moment now that you can change.
• 14:48
  Brett: The present is what becomes your memories that enrich your life, and the present is also how you influence the future.
• 14:55
  Brett: And so if you're living in the past, you won't be in the present.
• 15:00
  Brett: If you're living trying to influence your future too much, you won't be living in the present, and that's a dangerous place to be, because you have to understand that in this moment, now, this is all you can control.
• 15:10
  Brett: So what is your next action going to be?
• 15:12
  Brett: For either a better future or for memories that you can look upon and have joy from them.
• 15:20
  Brett: So think about that for a moment, because I think when you try and rush through your life, you forget the importance of slowing down to think through a problem, or you even overlook the beauty.
• 15:35
  Brett: In slow moments, like for me, it's dinner with my wife.
• 15:37
  Brett: If I'm not fully present there, I won't have a great conversation with her, I won't be able to hear about her day or tell her about my own, and that's one of my favorite parts of the day is for us to be able to have dinner together.
• 15:51
  Brett: Phones are gone and we just talk, and those are all very special moments for me.
• 15:56
  Brett: It could be that you know you're out taking your kids out to the park.
• 16:02
  Brett: That could be something where you know it's easy to be on your phone while your kids are playing.
• 16:06
  Brett: But maybe instead you watch them playing and you see them as the children they are now, because eventually you know they're going to grow up and you're not going to have these moments with them, could be losing your hobbies.
• 16:20
  Brett: If you're not present, if you're not working on your hobbies, if you're not spending time each day or each week to do the things you enjoy, you might lose yourself.
• 16:29
  Brett: All of this requires presence, and presence is not passive, it's an action Like.
• 16:39
  Brett: You have to be present, you have to work on that.
• 16:42
  Brett: There's times where I've tried to hold on to the water, as Marcus says.
• 16:46
  Brett: You know, as the river's going, I try and hold on to it to resist that change, and it's almost always been when I knew I needed to make some kind of shift.
• 16:55
  Brett: But I wasn't really ready to let go of the old me, whether it was running more outdoors instead of sticking to the treadmill, if it's eating more to accommodate for higher training weeks, or spending extra hours studying to get better at the podcast, to get better at my job or to learn things that I want to learn about.
• 17:16
  Brett: The resistance really was just the fear that it would take a lot of work and a lot of times.
• 17:23
  Brett: I think those are the excuses that we make.
• 17:25
  Brett: Is we understand that the changes we need to make in our lives are going to require work, and because of that, we might get scared of the actual action itself?
• 17:36
  Brett: And so I think it's important to really do an audit of your habits and your priorities on a regular basis If not monthly, maybe it's quarterly.
• 17:46
  Brett: If not quarterly, maybe you do it once a year.
• 17:48
  Brett: Realign your priorities, understand what is important to you and then all the other crap that comes in, try and filter it out.
• 17:56
  Brett: Like don't spend time on your phone if you tell yourself that your family is more important.
• 18:00
  Brett: Don't spend time working late If you tell yourself your family's important.
• 18:04
  Brett: Don't spend time eating a bunch of food If you tell yourself that fitness is something that is important to you, or spending on the couch rather than working out.
• 18:14
  Brett: Like understand what is important to you and then align your actions to accommodate that.
• 18:19
  Brett: To reflect that, marcus also wrote that loss is nothing but change, and change is nature's delight.
• 18:27
  Brett: So for me, that is strangely comforting to know that change is nature's delight.
• 18:35
  Brett: That is strangely comforting to know that change is nature's delight Because, like I said, you only have to really look around to see the world in action.
• 18:42
  Brett: You can see the changes that are going on.
• 18:44
  Brett: The ocean always shifts its currents, the wind changes its direction, the moon passes through certain phases, insects shed their skin, Trees grow taller, even the sun changes.
• 18:56
  Brett: It's slowly dying.
• 18:58
  Brett: Just to let you know, it's not going to die anytime soon, but it is slowly dying.
• 19:02
  Brett: All suns have phases, so nothing in the universe is static.
• 19:07
  Brett: Okay, so when you think about that, if nothing in the universe is static, nothing stays in its exact progression plan, then why would we be any different?
• 19:21
  Brett: And I have a short story for this.
• 19:22
  Brett: So in 2024, I, dnf, did not finish the Vegas marathon.
• 19:27
  Brett: I trained for it.
• 19:29
  Brett: I coached my cousin and my brother, uh, to be ready.
• 19:32
  Brett: I wanted them to run their first marathon.
• 19:34
  Brett: It was a pretty big weekend for us and I wanted to run alongside them.
• 19:44
  Brett: I wanted to push myself and I wanted to to finish this race with them, and around mile 10, I had really an asthma attack.
• 19:49
  Brett: That allowed, like it made me stop, like I couldn't keep going, I couldn't breathe, I was freaking out, and it was one of the first times that I've broken down in public.
• 19:59
  Brett: I was embarrassed.
• 20:01
  Brett: I'm coaching my brother and my cousin to run this race and I can't even finish it.
• 20:05
  Brett: I was very embarrassed.
• 20:07
  Brett: But here's the thing Not finishing actually turned out to be quite the gift, because now I wasn't racing, now I could shift my focus to watch Parker and Drew run this race.
• 20:20
  Brett: It's their first marathon and I helped coach them to get to this point and I wanted to see them succeed.
• 20:25
  Brett: And so no longer was I a participator in the sport in this race.
• 20:29
  Brett: I was now a spectator.
• 20:31
  Brett: But it was so rewarding for me to see my brother and my cousin running past certain checkpoints and Seeing how close they were getting to the end and how they were looking strong at certain points.
• 20:43
  Brett: And the moment was pure pride and joy when I saw them cross the finish line, because it reminded me sometimes the thing that we think we've lost is just making room for someone, something else, so something greater.
• 20:55
  Brett: Like I thought I lost that race.
• 20:57
  Brett: I thought dropping out of that might have been the end of my running career.
• 21:00
  Brett: As silly as that sounds like looking back now.
• 21:03
  Brett: That's obviously a silly thing.
• 21:04
  Brett: But then it turned out to be a gift, because I saw these two people, who worked incredibly hard to run their first marathon, cross the finish line and all that work and preparation that went into it paid off, and that was something that I didn't know.
• 21:25
  Brett: I needed to see the finish line.
• 21:26
  Brett: It taught me that it wasn't just for me.
• 21:28
  Brett: I wasn't the one that was supposed to be running across that finish line, it was Parker and Drew, and it was a special moment for me.
• 21:35
  Brett: But if I didn't make that change in my mind, I would have been bitter and, like I said, nature is nothing but change.
• 21:46
  Brett: It's nature's delight to change, and for me that day the change was in my lungs.
• 21:51
  Brett: I couldn't breathe that well and so I dropped out.
• 21:54
  Brett: But that's one thing to recognize.
• 21:57
  Brett: You don't know when these changes are going to occur, but you can always find something good within them, just like how I saw Drew and Parker run that race.
• 22:09
  Brett: Now we're going to move on to another part of meditations, where Marcus talks about death and renewal.
• 22:14
  Brett: Marcus says not to despise but to be content with it.
• 22:19
  Brett: Really, we're not to despise death, like we're supposed to be content with death.
• 22:26
  Brett: It's an interesting concept, but let me break it down.
• 22:28
  Brett: So I think the reason he says to be content with death is because it's the only guarantee that we have in life.
• 22:36
  Brett: Everyone's life comes to an end at some point.
• 22:39
  Brett: Yours will, mine will, your parents will, even John Sina will.
• 22:46
  Brett: John Sina is going to pass away at some point.
• 22:48
  Brett: It'll be a hard day, but it's going to happen and it's inevitable.
• 22:54
  Brett: And so why should we despise something that is completely part of nature's?
• 22:59
  Brett: Will?
• 22:59
  Brett: It's not an easy nod Like?
• 23:03
  Brett: It's easy to nod at in theory, be like, yeah, okay, that makes sense, but it's harder to live by.
• 23:10
  Brett: And for me, the trails are a small reminder of my mortality, because when I'm going up a steep climb, my heart's pounding, I can't breathe that well because the air is getting thin and I'm sweating, I'm dripping, and it just reminds me that I am a human being, I am immortal, because if I wasn't, this mountain would be easy.
• 23:31
  Brett: I've had moments outside that it brings that truth home, even in that Vegas race when I was having an asthma attack.
• 23:39
  Brett: It's like a reminder that, hey, you're not a superhuman.
• 23:42
  Brett: You might have things that come up, and that's okay.
• 23:46
  Brett: How are you going to respond to them?
• 23:47
  Brett: And that's okay.
• 23:49
  Brett: How are you going to respond to them?
• 23:50
  Brett: And I think a lot about memento mori, which is another stoic principle.
• 23:59
  Brett: That means remember, you must die, and remembering I must die shapes how I live, as interesting as that is, and so it's part of that.
• 24:03
  Brett: Being content with death is okay.
• 24:05
  Brett: You must remember you have to die.
• 24:07
  Brett: That is something none of us can avoid.
• 24:09
  Brett: And so what are you going to do from the time you have now to when that tombstone's written and you're buried underneath the ground?
• 24:16
  Brett: What are you going to do in that time?
• 24:18
  Brett: Is it going to be something that you're proud of?
• 24:20
  Brett: Is it going to be something where you're just kind of going with emotions and at the end of your life you say, man, I could have done a lot more.
• 24:26
  Brett: The decision is yours.
• 24:28
  Brett: You have that agency to be able to choose what you want to do.
• 24:32
  Brett: But for me, it reminds me that my time is finite, so I should spend it doing things that actually matters.
• 24:37
  Brett: For me, that's living Christ's gospel, it's loving the people in my life.
• 24:44
  Brett: It's helping others where I can and trying to see what my limits are.
• 24:51
  Brett: You break it down simply like that, and it kind of makes you realize that we fill our lives with so much nonsense and distraction that it's easy to forget about those things, even though there are four simple things that I talk about that I want to live my life doing.
• 25:05
  Brett: It's easy to overlook them because there's so much coming in all the time, and I want to treat the life that I have as a precious resource, because that's exactly what it is.
• 25:19
  Brett: I want to spend the most time I can with the people that I love.
• 25:22
  Brett: I want to spend the most time I can testing my limits, pushing myself, see if I can help other people do the same through things like getting after it, through actually just sitting down and trying to be a friend to other people.
• 25:34
  Brett: But it gives me a sense of urgency to do the things that I want to do in my life, because I know it's going to come to an end at some point, and that's the tricky part is we none of us know when that day is going to come.
• 25:47
  Brett: You know, any of us can be in an accident, or we can get sick or, you know, old age might take us.
• 25:54
  Brett: But within that time frame I want to make the most of my life, and for me that's just understanding what is important to me and how I can do those things as much like, maximize and be as efficient with those things as I can.
• 26:11
  Brett: Talking about death does not make me uncomfortable.
• 26:13
  Brett: In fact it motivates me for that purpose, because I treat it with respect.
• 26:19
  Brett: It pushes me to Run that race, to take that trip to love every day and treat it as a gift, because it is a gift.
• 26:26
  Brett: Each day you wake up and you you breathe air into your lungs.
• 26:27
  Brett: Recognize that, that as a gift, because it is a gift.
• 26:29
  Brett: Each day you wake up and you breathe air into your lungs.
• 26:32
  Brett: Recognize that that is a gift.
• 26:34
  Brett: And with a gift you don't treat it like a piece of trash, you cherish it.
• 26:40
  Brett: And so what can you be doing in your day to cherish your day, to make the most of each one?
• 26:46
  Brett: Because if you don't, you might be living a life of regret and when you're on your deathbed you might have some thoughts that you wish you would have done something different in your life.
• 26:55
  Brett: And that's not a reality.
• 26:57
  Brett: I don't think any of us want.
• 26:58
  Brett: We don't want to be in that position.
• 27:00
  Brett: So sit down, think about what you could be doing differently to make the most of each day, even when changes in that process make the most of each day, even when changes in that process make the most of each day.
• 27:13
  Brett: As I take a sip from my zesty drink all right, zesty drink, that's from top gear I just realized there's like that that uh tiktok trend dad, try this sauce.
• 27:25
  Brett: It's very zesty.
• 27:26
  Brett: No, it's from Top Gear.
• 27:27
  Brett: They say zesty drinks, they're British.
• 27:29
  Brett: Anyways, let's make some modern day connections, because change it's not just a stoic thing Like there's.
• 27:39
  Brett: Like I said, everyone deals with change.
• 27:40
  Brett: It's a reality that we all live in and for me, a change that I've had to do recently that I hate I still have to do it is long distance with my wife.
• 27:50
  Brett: It sucks.
• 27:51
  Brett: Like I said, time with the people that I love is a very important thing to me.
• 27:55
  Brett: We have this change in our life that we've had to adapt to, where Allie will leave and be gone for a few days and then come back and it's tough, like it sucks.
• 28:05
  Brett: We both hate it Every week.
• 28:09
  Brett: Saying goodbye is hard, but it's taught us to treat the time that we do have together as sacred.
• 28:14
  Brett: And that's why I talked about the importance of being present, because we've recognized that when we're present together, we do get a lot out of just being with one another.
• 28:25
  Brett: We get a lot out of that opportunity to spend that time together.
• 28:30
  Brett: And when I think about someone who truly embodies change, I think about Allie, because she's great at being able to just go with the flow, understand that, hey, this is just our reality right now.
• 28:43
  Brett: It sucks, but let's try to make the most of it.
• 28:46
  Brett: I'll also say that because we've been doing distance, it's given us an opportunity to be able to.
• 28:53
  Brett: For me, and just makes me so much more grateful for her, and so she's been so brave and strong with this whole change.
• 29:23
  Brett: I know it sucks for both of us, but seeing her being able to live a great life when we're apart and then also when we're together, like it, it motivates me to say, okay, this is something that we can.
• 29:35
  Brett: We can get through that, we can push through and become better at and work on our relationship together, and I will say it's been a great opportunity for that.
• 29:43
  Brett: Like Allie, and I have gotten closer.
• 29:45
  Brett: Um, trying to think of the word here.
• 29:49
  Brett: I'm trying to think of the word here We've gotten closer in terms of our relationship, even when she's a few hundred miles away, and that's a pretty amazing thing, and I think the reason being is because we're both committed to working on our marriage and committed to helping the other person with anything that they might need.
• 30:05
  Brett: Long way of me saying that, even with a change like this, where we have to do distance, there's still good that can be found in it.
• 30:15
  Brett: We long for the day when we don't have to do it anymore, but that's not happening now, and so we understand that and we're not waiting.
• 30:25
  Brett: We are waiting, but we're not, you know, we don't have a specific timeline for when this thing is going to be over, when distance is going to be no longer, and so we try to make the most of each day, and it's important to do, I think.
• 30:39
  Brett: If I'm also thinking about other people who embody change very well, I think of David Goggins, because at one point he weighed 300 pounds but he wanted to be a Navy SEAL, and so he walked into the Navy SEAL office or the Navy office.
• 30:53
  Brett: He said, hey, I want to be a SEAL.
• 30:54
  Brett: They laughed at him and then he went back and he became the Goggins that we all know today.
• 30:59
  Brett: Who's going to carry the boats, that guy?
• 31:02
  Brett: And it's because he decided to make some changes to his life which, if you read his books, if you listen to how he talks, it was not easy for him.
• 31:13
  Brett: He talks about how difficult it was to stop his habits that he had, where he gained all this weight, and to become a different person through focused work and consistency.
• 31:25
  Brett: His story is amazing and recently I think it was just a week ago he ran the Bigfoot 200, which is a 200 mile race.
• 31:33
  Brett: The guy's 50 years old, but at one point in his life he used to be 300 pounds.
• 31:37
  Brett: So he made a significant change to his life and now he's doing the same for other people.
• 31:43
  Brett: He's helping them make these changes through through motivating them, through telling a story, and it's something that I think is very inspirational to look at, because if you understand how he embraced suffering, how he took that all on, he became unrecognizable and became someone else on the other side.
• 32:02
  Brett: He's a very intense person, but I think, with him showing that that change is possible, it is motivating to me, it's motivating to other people and it that that change is possible.
• 32:11
  Brett: It is motivating to me, it's motivating to other people and it shows that change can happen, no matter if you're 300 pounds overweight.
• 32:17
  Brett: You can run a 200 mile race, just like David Goggins did and of course I know he's very driven, he's very intense, but there's evidence out there that someone has done it.
• 32:30
  Brett: And if you're in that same situation, you can do it too if you're willing to put in the work.
• 32:34
  Brett: But, like I said, that's a hard thing to confront sometimes, because even I deal with that.
• 32:40
  Brett: I understand what needs to be done, but I'm afraid of the work that needs to go into it.
• 32:43
  Brett: And so, if you have areas in your life where you know you need to focus on, you want to change, think about what you can do to break it down into small steps.
• 32:55
  Brett: The other thing I would say is learn to be patient, because that's one thing I love about running is it has taught me to be patient.
• 33:04
  Brett: Endurance sports themselves are a masterclass in learning to be patient.
• 33:10
  Brett: Whether it's you're surviving a long run or you're waiting months and months to see the results from your training, you learn quickly that good things take time and that lesson transfers everywhere.
• 33:25
  Brett: It goes to your marriage, it goes to your job, your health.
• 33:28
  Brett: You put in the work, you keep showing up, and the results eventually come.
• 33:34
  Brett: If you're going through a massive change right now, here's my advice, here's what I would tell you Step back, detach from your situation and try to see the opportunity in it.
• 33:44
  Brett: Then be patient.
• 33:46
  Brett: Change does not happen overnight, but neither does growth.
• 33:50
  Brett: Those two things require work.
• 33:52
  Brett: So are you willing to put in the work?
• 33:55
  Brett: Now?
• 33:57
  Brett: I want to leave you guys with some takeaways from this episode, because I know we talked about a lot, but if you remember anything, I want you to remember what we're going to talk about now.
• 34:05
  Brett: If there's two truths that I want you to walk away with, it's this.
• 34:08
  Brett: First change is inevitable.
• 34:11
  Brett: You can't fight it, you can't resist it and you can't avoid it.
• 34:16
  Brett: What you can do is decide how well you embrace it.
• 34:21
  Brett: Second, change isn't just loss.
• 34:25
  Brett: It's an opportunity, a chance to grow, a chance to shift your direction, to become something that you weren't before.
• 34:32
  Brett: If you look at it as an opportunity, it can be a catalyst for your own growth.
• 34:37
  Brett: So here's one simple challenge I want to give you for the week You're going to go back to journaling.
• 34:43
  Brett: I want you to journal how you feel about the change that you're facing and then talk about the resistance, talk about the fear and the frustration that you feel with that change.
• 34:53
  Brett: Get it out of your head, put it onto a piece of paper, put it in your notes app.
• 34:57
  Brett: But once you see it clearly, then pick one thing that you want to work on.
• 35:01
  Brett: Don't try to overhaul your entire life in a week.
• 35:04
  Brett: That's not sustainable.
• 35:07
  Brett: Stick with it and do one step at a time until it becomes second nature and then move on to something else.
• 35:15
  Brett: I use two mental tools for this.
• 35:17
  Brett: The first is the premeditation of evils, like I talked about, where you imagine the worst case scenarios before they happen.
• 35:25
  Brett: That way, I'm not blindsided when challenges come my way.
• 35:28
  Brett: The second is gratitude.
• 35:30
  Brett: Gratitude grounds me.
• 35:33
  Brett: It is one of the things that I always go back to anytime I'm feeling down, anytime I'm overwhelmed.
• 35:38
  Brett: I think about the things that I have.
• 35:40
  Brett: I think about what I'm grateful for, because when I focus on what I already have, I stop obsessing over what's changing and my mindset becomes much more capable of handling whatever comes my way.
• 35:49
  Brett: Because gratitude, it's a gift If you're able to think about the things that you have and be grateful for them.
• 35:59
  Brett: Grateful for your health, the life that you have, your spouse, your children, your job, your home, whatever.
• 36:07
  Brett: Be grateful.
• 36:08
  Brett: You have a lot to be grateful for, and it doesn't take much to take a step back and recognize all the goodness in your life.
• 36:15
  Brett: There might be a lot of challenges, there might be a lot of changes, but that doesn't mean your life doesn't have anything to be celebrated in.
• 36:28
  Brett: And then here's one physical tool that helps me.
• 36:29
  Brett: It's running, it's exercising.
• 36:33
  Brett: Exercising it gets your body moving.
• 36:40
  Brett: It helps you feel unstuck, because a lot of the times when I'm going through a change or I'm dealing with an issue when I work out, that is gone, because usually I'm dealing with trying to focus on the workout itself, focusing on the lifts, focusing on my form, it doesn't matter, I'm trying to get my brain focused on what I'm doing in the present.
• 36:56
  Brett: Exercising forces you to be present.
• 36:59
  Brett: It forces you to think about what you're doing right then, right now, and it kind of gets rid of those thoughts where you're thinking about the change or you're thinking about your past.
• 37:09
  Brett: It forces you to be present and what I've noticed is when I'm done with a workout, some new ideas will come to me, I'll have better ideas, I'll have a clearer mind so I can think through whatever change is going through or whatever I'm dealing with.
• 37:23
  Brett: It helps me clear out my mind and I think I'm pretty confident in saying that it will do the same for you.
• 37:30
  Brett: You just have to move out there, just dig deep, get your heart rate up and nine times out of 10.
• 37:36
  Brett: When you're done, you'll see the situation from a different angle, and that's powerful.
• 37:41
  Brett: So if you're struggling, try those two things Be grateful, think of the worst case scenario so you can not be surprised.
• 37:51
  Brett: And then move your body, get it going.
• 37:57
  Brett: When I think about when I first ran the trails, the core lesson was simple there is beauty in change.
• 38:03
  Brett: At first it was uncomfortable, it was frustrating, it was slower than I wanted to be, but over time the trails taught me to love the mountains, to love the peace that comes from being in the mountains, loving the challenge, the beauty, and I never would have seen any of that if I stayed comfortable in my own routine.
• 38:21
  Brett: You, you can find the good, but only if you're willing to look for it.
• 38:31
  Brett: If I could summarize everything I've said today in one sentence, it would be this.
• 38:34
  Brett: Change is hard in the beginning, but with patience it becomes second nature.
• 38:38
  Brett: That's true whether it's trail running, if it's moving through grief or facing daily shifts that life throws at you.
• 38:47
  Brett: Change is hard in the beginning, but with patience it becomes second nature.
• 38:54
  Brett: So as you step back into your own life, remember this you can handle the change.
• 39:01
  Brett: You can.
• 39:02
  Brett: You've done it before, many times in the past.
• 39:05
  Brett: Think about those times that you've gotten through change before you can do it again now.
• 39:09
  Brett: It's inevitable, but it doesn't have to break you and with patience, with being present and with the right perspective, it can shape you into something stronger.
• 39:22
  Brett: I appreciate you guys listening to this episode.
• 39:23
  Brett: I hope it helped.
• 39:24
  Brett: If anyone's dealing with changes out there, I know they can be difficult, but you can get through them.
• 39:28
  Brett: With changes out there, I know they can be difficult, but you can get through them.
• 39:30
  Brett: If you're listening to getting after it, odds are you're one of those people who can push through and get through difficult situations.
• 39:35
  Brett: If you need some help, reach out to me.
• 39:38
  Brett: I'm happy to chat with you, at least understand your situation and maybe just talk through it with you.
• 39:43
  Brett: But I appreciate you guys for listening If it helped you at all.
• 39:48
  Brett: Maybe send it to a friend who might be dealing with a change.
• 39:51
  Brett: Like and rate the show.
• 39:52
  Brett: It helps, it goes a long way and, as always, keep getting after it.