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The Truth About Invisible Disabilities at Work & other Workplace Dilemmas · Not All Business

0:00
Welcome to Not All Business, a podcast by two former CEO's who
0:04
went from competitors to friends.
0:06
I'm Blakely Graham and my Co host is Heather Cooper and we
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are joined by our producer Clay Cornell, who accommodates our
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chaos every single week without filing an HR complaint yet.
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Yet. I know today we're talking about
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invisible disabilities at work, when to disclose them, how they
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impact your team, and what leaders get wrong about
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accommodations. I had the best weekend.
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I want to tell you about it. I just OK.
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Well, I was like sad that I didn't get to go on this trip,
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which I was really excited about, but it got cancelled and
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then I just had a weekend where it was like a surprise, nothing
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planned weekend. Has that ever happened to you?
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It was. Wonderful.
1:00
It's very rare. I'm a little over planned.
1:03
I don't know. I don't love my life in that
1:05
regard, but. Yeah.
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So you did nothing, is what you're saying?
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I mean, I did a lot of stuff, but it was all on my turn.
1:12
Wine hang. Out with Nick.
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Yes, it was really, it was. I got some writing done which
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I've been totally slacking on. So I got a lot of that done,
1:22
which is good. The book.
1:24
The book. Is the book coming?
1:26
Is it coming out? What's happening?
1:28
Also, by the way, I'm writing an actual book.
1:31
It's not like a journal on my desk.
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You know how many people were like, wait, Blakeley's writing a
1:35
book? Like, she's got a book And like,
1:37
no, that was just, that was just a journal on her desk.
1:39
She calls her book. Of all the things other people
1:42
have done against her. I know.
1:45
What do you call that? What is it from Mean Girls?
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It's like the slam book or slam. Book slam book I have.
1:50
A burn book. You have a burn book I keep
1:54
wanting. You guys too, you know.
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Yeah, but you should write a book.
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Is it still on your desk? Am I in it already?
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I'm in it aren't? I open.
2:02
It up. Show me where.
2:03
What do you have in there already written about me?
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No, you're not in it. I do not have a burn book for
2:08
this podcast. I'm I'm going to steal it when
2:12
we come over for the in person interview or the in person
2:16
episode, I'm going to like. Oh, the husband's episode.
2:18
Let's start teasing that out now.
2:19
We are going to have a husband's episode.
2:23
We are crazy. Yeah.
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Are we going to let them talk to each other beforehand and like
2:27
scheme or we're just going to make them keep private what they
2:30
want to say? OK, OK.
2:33
That'll be. Interesting.
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I mean, maybe we come up with some questions like how is it to
2:39
live with? Maybe the listeners come up with
2:42
some questions for them. How about that?
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Talk about some sticky situations.
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Let's put that out there. Anybody wants.
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If you have a question for the husband's, let us know and let's
2:53
let's get it on there. I that's actually you like that
2:56
idea, Clay? I already have my question.
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What is it? Are you going to save it?
3:00
Wow, should I save it? No, I should say it.
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My question is, can you beatbox and juggle fire right now?
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That's my question. No, we are not juggling fire in
3:12
the studio. It's like 9 by 12 space like.
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We're definitely going to do it out in the yard though, and
3:18
we'll get some. Be real.
3:21
OK. It's called B roll and we're
3:23
definitely doing. Oh, it is.
3:25
On the show, it's not B roll like we're doing it another
3:28
time. It's like.
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I called it B real, it remember the app B real.
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I thought it was about two days because everyone was so sick of
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like, looking at what people were actually doing.
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Turns out people actually care more about the fantasy of
3:40
people's lives than the reality. Hey, I've heard people are still
3:44
doing B Real people. I've heard that it's still,
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Yeah, people are still doing it. I mean, I know what you guys are
3:50
talking about kinda. I've heard of that.
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That's like a notification. What you're doing or something?
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Yeah, it'll be like, OK, no, no, snap a photo right now within 30
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seconds, where you are, what you're doing.
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Oh. Snap a photo, you guys.
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That's what I did this weekend. I learned how to use Snapchat.
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Wow, we have some applause. Anything like you guys are like
4:12
that's a big effing deal for a 52 year old.
4:15
First of all, it's not easy. It's not easy, but let's talk
4:20
about that because I'm a software designer, right?
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Like I have designed software and yet the usage patterns on
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Snapchat are unlike any other app I've ever like worked on.
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Or I it it was so it I don't. I don't even have it mastered.
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It disappears first of all. Yeah, that I don't.
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That's like I'm grateful for because those pictures.
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But I bet you are. But also, it's like it
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disappears when my daughter sends me something because
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that's really the only way we communicate right now.
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While she's in Thailand, we'll send because of the time that's.
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Exactly why I've learned because my sons going off to college and
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I know. Yeah, it's good and it's good.
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It's good. You're learning.
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You got to be in their environment.
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You got to be in their workflow. They might not call it a
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workflow. You got to be in their
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environment. Yeah.
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Otherwise you, they have to go out of that app to go to another
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one. They're never going to text you
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back. You got to be in there.
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He never texts me back and so that's exactly why, although
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I've tried to make it a rule that I don't snap anything
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negative to him. Like I'm trying to keep snap for
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fun, good communication and text for bad but he messed up my
5:30
laundry today so I did snap him a little bit of a correction
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which. That's horrible.
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That's you. OK, Just even wait.
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Me or him. No, you are horrible.
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I snapped him a correction. Nobody wants to be snapped a
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correction. You got to stop that right now.
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You started out so strong with making snaps positive, but I
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snapped him a correction. Fuck that.
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You're going to get in trouble, OK?
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I don't think I've ever heard anybody say that before.
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I've snapped a correction. I've.
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Snapped in a correction. Next week you're going to be
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like, why is no one snapping me? OK, this is not a parenting
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podcast and I don't even want to get into parenting.
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I just think it's enough that I I've learned.
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Do you know what it means to be undelivered?
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Do you know what it means to be left undelivered?
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Because you're about to. No, no, he responded to me right
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away with a could have been a genuine apology or it could have
6:31
been I'm a little bit making fun of you mom, for correcting my
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laundry apology. I think it's the latter.
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Elden, I hope it was that. I hope it was the latter and I'm
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on his side in this now. Snapchats for fun.
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But do you know what it reminded me about or reminded me of?
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Do you know, did you have to do this in?
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Did you go to pregnancy classes? What are those called?
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Pregnant pregnancy classes. Prenatal.
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Yeah. Did you go to those?
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Did they make your husband put their hands in ice water?
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I didn't have a husband. Just kidding, I did.
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I just want to see what your face would do.
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No, they didn't. I.
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Don't care. So this like Clay, did you have
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to do that? No.
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What? This is, I only bring this up
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because I think it's adjacent to we're talking about invisible,
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invisible disabilities today. And so I first of all, I, I
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don't know if Jody our, our guest who's coming out of it.
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I don't know if she saw our last episode last week where I was
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complaining about not ever getting paid maternity leave and
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it's because they considered my pregnancy a disability.
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It's a pre-existing condition which I find a really incorrect
7:46
label. But if you want to consider it a
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disability. Like I think they were trying to
7:52
make these husbands put their hands in an ice bath and hold
7:55
them for as long as they could. And that was to emulate a
7:59
pregnancy like contraction, like a going into labor, which I
8:04
don't think is any. I don't think I put my hands and
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not even. Just you just numb yourself.
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You can't feel anything anymore. That's the opposite of what a
8:13
contraction is. I know.
8:15
It's missing the mark completely, but I will say when
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I thought of like learning Snapchat, I I do not have a
8:23
diagnosed disability. I feel like I might have one
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undiagnosed one, but it was like the closest thing I came to to
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like thinking through like my brain processes things so
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differently than I think my children.
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And it was like the hardest thing I have had to learn in
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10:15. I don't even know the last time.
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And I was like, OK, is this kind of what it's like to like are
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we, are we talking? About Snapchat, again, you have
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taken me on such a journey, OK? Have I?
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Am I not threading it? That's is that.
9:00
That's my undiagnosed one I wanted to talk about on the show
9:03
later. Oh, you're being serious?
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No, I can't make fun of you. OK, I still might.
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A little. Bit I can't.
9:08
I can't even like try to even thread this conversation
9:10
together anymore. We're going to get there.
9:13
We're. Cutting all of this.
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I think. They're cutting it, we're
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cutting it. I don't think we're cutting any
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of it. No, it's staying the whole.
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Thing. All of it.
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Snap the correction to me later. I, I feel like I need Jodi on
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the show to like help me get my words right and walk through
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this. So because now I feel really hot
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and red and not comfortable. This is a sticky situation that
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I wash myself into and I don't know how to walk myself out of
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it. Two weeks in a row.
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OK, we'll get there. I'm saving the rest, I'm saving
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it. I'm going to have a deep breathe
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with Jodi and I'll feel better. Let's bring her on.
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Let's get to her. So our guest today is Jody
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Donovan, who serves as an Associate Vice President for
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Student Affairs at Colorado State University.
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She spent nearly 40 years in higher education, focusing on
10:03
holistic student support both in and out of the classroom.
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She received the prestigious Pillar of the Professional Award
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in 2016 and continues to teach and advise a graduate program as
10:14
CSU. But here's what makes Jodi's
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story extraordinary. She built this entire career
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after suffering A traumatic brain injury right after earning
10:23
her PhD, an injury she initially tried to hide out of shame.
10:28
Jodi, welcome to Not All Business.
10:33
Hi everyone. Blakely here.
10:35
This episode of Not All Business is brought to you by yours
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consultation. OK, back to the show.
11:30
Hi, Jodi, it's. Great to be here, Jodi.
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So excited that you're here. Finally, Jodi, I hope you heard
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all of my blunders on that intro and can help correct everything
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I said earlier. You you were working hard.
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I was working hard. Thank you.
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This is Jodi's genius. You know she counsels either she
12:00
uses like for college students, right?
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But it's never too late. It's never too late to learn and
12:04
pick up a new skill. Before we get into the show, you
12:07
guys have to know that you're in the presence of greatness.
12:09
Not just because of the whole intro and how amazing she is on
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all of the things, but Jodi is the one who first identified the
12:20
naked Heather on the show. Remember when I said a good
12:23
friend of mine? Oh, I said.
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A good friend of mine called me up and said, hey, quick
12:27
feedback, you look. Naked on the show.
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A naked lawyer. Yeah, this.
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Is her this is Jody you know only a good friend can pass
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along that feedback. It's.
12:36
True. Yeah, it was pretty great.
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It's now an official trademarked character, right, Heather?
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Look. At what it's blossomed into.
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The Naked Lawyer Do you have your naked lawyer glasses?
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I mean, I have my glasses. Yes, I do.
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I do. I have my I have my glasses on.
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Guys, we're not turning this into a thing.
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It's against everything I stand for.
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I'm just really glad you have clothes on today.
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Well done. That's fair.
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I appreciate the journey. Well, it is early.
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I mean, it does get hot in here. This light that I'm under is
13:09
puts off quite a bit of heat. So we'll see how long the
13:11
clothes stay on. But yeah, well, we've talked
13:15
about this before, like last week we got into a bunch of like
13:18
kind of rapid fire sticky situations and that was a lot of
13:21
fun. And we are going to kind of hit
13:23
some of those at the end. We've got Jody on his expert who
13:25
I think is going to talk to some of that.
13:27
But really where Jody's expertise is coming from and
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what we're going to dive into today is what do you do when you
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have an invisible disability and how is that impacting your work?
13:40
And you know, when are you telling people when are you not
13:44
and what does that look like? And so I was totally amazed.
13:47
I met Jodi, she was the my backyard neighbor when I first
13:50
moved here from Detroit and came outside and she was over the
13:54
fence and I called her Judy. I think for that least the first
13:59
'cause we were like over the fence like that.
14:01
Show what's? That.
14:02
Show home improvement. Like Wilson?
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Yeah, Home improvement. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
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And so, yeah, I think I called you Judy for the first couple
14:11
days and then you gave us a trampoline, which was awesome
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'cause my kid was like flipping out of the womb and we needed a
14:17
trampoline. And so she already had one.
14:19
Like I'm going to, yeah, she's like, wait, I'm over the fence
14:23
trampoline person, because we're going to buy one.
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And you were like, do not, do not buy one.
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We're going to give you this one or we're going to.
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I think I bought it from your son anyway.
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So we kind of, we bonded pretty quick after that.
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But all of there's so many years and I've, I was always so
14:39
impressed by everything you accomplished.
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And it wasn't until, I don't know, several years into our,
14:44
our friendship that you told me about your disability and your
14:48
injury, what had happened and all you'd have to overcome.
14:50
So would you share with us a little bit about what happened
14:54
that day and we'll go from there.
14:58
Yeah. Yeah.
14:59
This is this is an interesting experience because I'm, I'm
15:06
thinking back about when this all happened and how I wanted to
15:11
hide it. And now I consider this
15:14
invisible disability a superpower.
15:16
And so it's really reframing what it means to have a
15:20
disability. It's not a less than, but it
15:24
actually is an additive part of who I am.
15:28
So October 13th, 2026, I defended my dissertation to get
15:36
a PhD at the height of my intellectual capacity.
15:41
My family goes with me up to a regional conference up in
15:45
Breckenridge. It was the the last night before
15:49
the closing banquet in the morning, and we decided to cut
15:52
loose and go sledding on some of the ski hills.
15:56
And no alcohol involved. Just always need to give that
15:59
caveat. So we.
16:03
Yeah, but like sledding on the snow hills, like, like the ski
16:07
hills, like sledding the big hills.
16:09
Or that's crazy. It was sledding on a closed ski
16:12
slope but holy shit. Just to be clear, no judgement
16:16
if there was alcohol involved, You know what I mean?
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Like I've been sledding with alcohol involved.
16:21
Not a good choice. And thank goodness I didn't get
16:24
injured, you know? But no judgement there, Yeah.
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Yeah, that's like extreme sledding, too.
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Yeah, we didn't realize it at the time.
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So I was first one down, I was in a toboggan and you know, my
16:39
sitting up, my feet were straight out in front of me and
16:43
sailed down. Just was giggling and laughing.
16:46
And I hit a piece of ice and the whole toboggan came to a
16:52
complete stop and I fell, you know, and I came to a complete
16:57
stop right on the side of my head.
17:00
So if you can imagine how fast I was going and all of that speed
17:05
all just coming to a stop, everything that was, you know,
17:11
at my waist down went shot right into the back of my head.
17:17
And I remember people running down and saying, are you OK?
17:22
Are you OK? And my glasses had broken in
17:26
half. And that's what I was focused
17:29
on. I was like, oh, you know, I put
17:31
these two pieces of my glasses and I'm thinking, yeah,
17:35
everything's fine except for my glasses.
17:37
And inside I knew that I couldn't, I couldn't turn my
17:41
neck. And everything was kind of hazy
17:45
and fuzzy, but I didn't want to disrupt everybody else's fun
17:48
because everybody had just gotten out onto the ski.
17:52
Yeah. So you're like, I'm OK.
17:55
I'm OK. Yeah.
17:57
Don't, don't. Don't mind me.
18:01
Didn't go to the hospital that night.
18:04
The next morning, got up, went to the banquet and the lights
18:07
and everything else were just swimming around and the noise
18:10
and the cacophony and I couldn't understand what people were
18:14
saying. But I didn't want to disrupt the
18:19
conference, didn't want to bothering us.
18:24
So I left, laid down Mark that one again after a concussion,
18:31
you do not want to do any of the things that I did which I
18:36
thought it was just a a concussion.
18:39
Just we decided that, you know, the conference was over.
18:44
My partner drove me down, drove us down the the mountain, came
18:48
back, bang her headache. And I said I'll just go to
18:51
sleep. Things will be better the next
18:53
door. Morning.
18:54
You're not supposed to sleep. Yeah, as what I perceived myself
19:01
to be of, you know, I can work hard, I can put my mind to it.
19:08
I can achieve. I'm not less than.
19:12
I don't want to, you know, call attention to anything that might
19:15
make me less than. So the next morning, I was
19:19
walking to to church, which is a couple of blocks from our house.
19:24
My partner had gone ahead and I never arrived at the church.
19:27
I he found me later on the sidewalk crying because I
19:30
couldn't find my way. Oh, gosh.
19:33
And yeah, at that point, he drove me to the emergency room
19:38
because he was like, yeah, there's clearly something wrong.
19:42
Yeah. Kat, he must have been so
19:43
scared. And how old were you at this
19:46
time? Jody, can I ask, 40, early 40s,
19:52
Yeah, just prime, prime in your career, just finished your PhD,
19:57
killing it career wise. And then all of a sudden, within
20:00
48 hours on the side of the road crying, 'cause you don't know
20:03
where you are. Yep.
20:05
Had a, had a, had a nine, nine year old, 13 and a 13 year old
20:11
at the time. I didn't.
20:13
Realize that. And so then did they diagnose?
20:16
It at all? Yeah.
20:18
Did they diagnose you pretty quickly?
20:19
Oh, let. And just just to put a icing on
20:22
the doing it all, I was also working full time.
20:25
Yeah. So.
20:26
Wow. Yeah.
20:27
So it was kind of obnoxious. Yeah, well, I could.
20:31
You can sense it. By the way, you didn't want
20:33
anyone to be burdened, right? You know it just you know,
20:37
you're you're doing it all when those are your first thoughts,
20:40
Right. So.
20:42
Yeah. And so Jody, like real quick
20:45
before you get to the hospital part, just like because that's
20:47
that's interesting, Blakely. Like, yeah, so that carrying all
20:50
of that growing up, was that was that something that was
20:54
instilled in you growing up like that type of like work ethic or
20:57
like it's not about me. Like it's like you mentioned
20:59
achieving like is that how you were raised or?
21:03
OK, yes, yes, I was one of five kids.
21:09
And the way we got attention was through achievement.
21:13
It was what we did, you know, being getting an A on the
21:17
spelling B, you know, participating in gymnastics and
21:21
winning a medal. It wasn't enough to just do
21:24
gymnastics, but we had to win. And you know, the idea is you
21:30
just didn't work hard enough if you didn't achieve something.
21:34
So go back, send you like snap corrections, like when you when
21:37
you fucked up. Did they, did they send you like
21:40
quick messages Just when you thought, yeah, I think it was
21:44
more in the, IT was more in the, the Jodie, I'm really
21:47
disappointed in you. Was sort of the.
21:50
Snap The snap correction came as disappointed looks.
21:55
I did tell him I was frustrated. Those are real feelings.
22:02
I was frustrated. OK, Jodie.
22:04
Get us to the hospital. OK, Yeah.
22:07
So yes, they, they did all sorts of X-rays and, you know, my, my
22:14
vertebrae had lodged, you know, kind of crammed into the brain,
22:21
my whole rib cage, everything had just shoved up.
22:25
Luckily nothing was broken. But at that point, they
22:29
diagnosed me with traumatic brain injury, the TBI, and made
22:38
a referral to a, a local clinic here in town that unfortunately
22:43
doesn't exist anymore. But this clinic was like a
22:47
little Mayo Clinic for people with brain injuries and
22:51
neurological challenges like Ms. and things like that.
22:56
And they had, I did 5 hours of therapy a week.
23:00
They had, was it all at once, Jodie, or was it like an hour a
23:04
day or something? Like, was it concentrated
23:06
therapy or split up? It depended.
23:08
I mean, it was I, I, I don't think I could ever have done 5
23:12
hours a day because that's what I was thinking.
23:14
Like, I was thinking at the beginning of one hour a day.
23:17
Got it. Yeah.
23:19
Yeah. So it was neurotherapy,
23:22
occupational therapy. Like I had to learn.
23:24
Well, I had to learn how to get dressed again.
23:29
I couldn't figure out how I would look at my my example is I
23:33
would look at my feet and I would see my shoes and my socks,
23:36
but I couldn't figure out how I got my socks on inside my shoes.
23:43
And that didn't make any sense to me.
23:47
They had to teach me, you know, as I got better, how to grocery
23:50
shop, how to cook, because none of that made any sense to me.
23:57
I had to do speech therapy because I couldn't find words.
24:01
So the examples were if I wanted a cup of hot coffee and I kept
24:08
telling them I don't drink coffee, but they they didn't
24:11
care because the exercise was if you want a cup of coffee, how
24:16
would you describe it? If you can't use the word
24:19
coffee, you can't find the word coffee.
24:22
And so if if you were trying to say you wanted coffee, what,
24:27
what might you do? What might you say?
24:31
I want that brown hot, bitter drink that gives me the jitters
24:37
and heartburn, Yeah. There you go It's like a it's
24:42
like throwing yourself into like pre menopause early, like 'cause
24:45
I definitely still can't come up with words right now.
24:47
But that's not a brain injury thing.
24:49
That's just like an age that, yeah, but that was what that was
24:54
what was so interesting is when I would talk about I'm, I'm, I
24:59
had extreme fatigue. So I had to build up just
25:04
endurance again, because before I would have a second wind, if I
25:08
was working full time and doing my PhD, you know, I needed to
25:12
work all day, come home, you know, have some family time with
25:16
the kids and then go right downstairs to, to study.
25:19
I needed to have that second wind.
25:21
Well, I didn't have any of that. And so I would complain about
25:24
fatigue and they'd be like, Oh yeah, you're just getting old.
25:27
And I was like, no, we don't understand.
25:30
This is different or, you know, oh, you know, you're going,
25:35
you're early menopause. This is what it's going to feel
25:37
like. And I was like, no, this is
25:39
different. So it was a, it was a really
25:42
painful experience because I knew what I used to know.
25:45
I knew that I used to know things.
25:48
I knew that I had just earned my PhD.
25:51
But here I am talking about what are all the animals that start
25:56
with the letter C Wow, Oh my gosh.
26:00
And so are you cat at at work at this time?
26:04
Is there another one? Cobra cow, cow, cobra cougar
26:11
yes, but but I probably came up with cow and cat at the time and
26:17
you know, and then I would even at that point if that's beach
26:23
therapist would say good job Jody.
26:25
That really made a huge you know, I was still in this
26:28
achievement kind of thing I. Didn't even think about that.
26:32
Like deep seated belief system coming out in your
26:35
rehabilitation. Right.
26:37
Like who am I? So that was your new metric of
26:40
success. Yeah, Yeah.
26:43
It's so interesting that that was like overachieving and yet
26:47
you were still overachieving and probably frustrated because
26:49
you're like, I only got 4 sea animals today and I should have
26:52
gotten 6 or like, so you're kind of changing the metric, but your
26:55
personality and your drive is still the same.
26:59
Totally. Wow.
27:01
So how did this impact work? Like, so you're are you, you're
27:04
obviously taking a leave of absence.
27:05
You're not able to function in your job, right?
27:08
How how did that go for you? How did you request it?
27:10
But were they flexible with you? Yeah, Yeah, good question.
27:15
Because I know, you know, this is not all business and yeah, we
27:18
talk about business, right. So I, I was really fortunate
27:23
because I had already worked at Colorado State for nine years.
27:27
So I had nine years of demonstrating what kind of an
27:32
employee I was and for bankrolling a lot of sick leave
27:38
and a lot of annual leave because you know, as an
27:39
overachiever, you don't take those things.
27:43
So I had, I had earned a, and I'm going to use that word,
27:47
earned a lot of leave that I was able to take.
27:51
I didn't work at all for the first three months.
27:56
There was there would have been no way for me to go to work.
28:00
I obviously couldn't drive, but every, all of my energy was
28:06
going to getting better because I was told early on that that
28:10
first year after a head injury is so critical because what you
28:14
get back in that first year is pretty much what you get back.
28:20
So there's like a timeline. There's a time limit where it's
28:23
like if you you only get what you get in this year, if you
28:26
didn't study that thing or you didn't bring that back, it's
28:28
gone. That's a ton of pressure.
28:32
It's it was a lot of pressure. It's kind of like the majority
28:34
of the healing is going to happen in that first year.
28:36
So you want to get as much as you can and then anything else
28:39
is going to be a lot slower and smaller increments.
28:43
But is this functional rehabilitation or are you
28:46
relearning your PhD studies? Like was that retained and it's
28:52
just more of the occupational pieces or?
28:55
I mean, that's just, those are two very different things to
28:58
stuff in a year. You know, to to actually think
29:02
about the academic relearning that was not even a priority at
29:06
the time. It was really, can Jody get
29:08
dressed? Can Jody function?
29:11
Can I take care of myself? Can I take care of my kids?
29:15
So it was that kind of base learning that I was trying to
29:19
do. Thank you SO.
29:21
Then and OK, so 'cause we still have so much to get to like OK,
29:25
so you, you obviously presumably, and I mean you're
29:28
always like top in the finishers of the races that I see you in
29:32
in town. So I know that you definitely
29:34
recovered your running gate and you're kind of killing that at
29:39
some point you get your regular physicality back, you're going
29:43
back to work. So I what does that look like
29:45
when you know, if I just looked at you and I knew you for
29:48
several years before I knew this ever happened to you, but I know
29:51
you still have symptoms. So what was that like to go back
29:54
to work and everybody thinking like, hey, welcome back.
29:58
Did they were they treating you like you're just back to normal?
30:00
Jodie, that's a great question. And I, I grin because I thought
30:08
I could come back after the those, you know, three months.
30:12
And so I started coming back like a couple hours at a time
30:16
and I thought I was pulling the wool over everybody's eyes.
30:22
I thought I was making it and people were looking at me like,
30:26
what is she doing here? She's walking around with dead
30:29
eyes. There's nothing going on inside
30:31
of her. We're just going to let her go
30:34
into her office and let her do whatever she wants and hope she
30:38
doesn't stay very long. And my colleagues were so kind.
30:44
My boss was so kind because they knew that if who, who was I?
30:51
If I wasn't my work, that was my whole identity.
30:57
And so they knew part of my healing also required me to
31:02
believe that I could do this again, which was very, very
31:09
gracious. So that so I worked part time
31:12
for about another 3:00-ish months in full.
31:16
I went back full time at nine months and I had a lot of at
31:22
that point. Then the occupational therapy,
31:25
the speech therapy, things were starting to wane.
31:28
And, and we're really working on real specifics.
31:32
My my favorite example is going to a grocery store sometime and
31:36
look at either the laundry detergent aisle or the juice
31:41
aisle. OK, There are so many choices.
31:44
Yeah. How do you know what 1 to get?
31:49
Like how do you differentiate between any of them?
31:53
And so it became those kinds of nuanced kinds of therapy, like
31:58
the the step by step cooking. I still have a problem with
32:02
that. I can make one thing, but don't
32:06
ask me to make the main and the side and another, right?
32:10
You're not cooking Thanksgiving dinner for everybody and you're
32:12
by by yourself. Yeah, I can't do that on a good
32:18
day, let alone after a brain injury, Right.
32:20
So yeah, it's it's I can't cook anyway.
32:24
So okay, so you're so at some point you're back.
32:27
I mean, let's even say two years in Jody.
32:29
Yeah, yeah. You've talked about shame not
32:33
wanting to admit it. So maybe there's new people that
32:35
have come into your life. Maybe there's new bosses or
32:37
another person on the board and they're not familiar with the
32:40
history. Is this something that you're
32:41
leading with? Like, at what point did it turn
32:43
from like shame in you, this invisible thing because they're
32:46
not seeing it up front into you kind of owning it?
32:50
Tell us about that. That was, I mean that was a long
32:55
time I learned strategies. So part of my therapy was
32:59
strategies. And this is a big piece of that.
33:02
Working with an employee who has an invisible disability or a
33:07
visible disability, the employee themselves has responsibility
33:12
for the strategies to help them do the work.
33:16
The workplace has to set them up to be successful in that.
33:21
So it's a two way street, right? So I installed a whiteboard on
33:26
my wall right in front of my desk to and I would write what I
33:30
was working on so that if I had a phone call that interrupted
33:34
me, I could look back at the whiteboard and know what I was
33:37
what I was working on. I had post it notes that I would
33:41
carry in my pocket that would list the three things I had to
33:44
get done that day. So my, my invisible disability
33:49
is called central auditory processing disorder.
33:54
It's a mouthful. What it means is when there's
33:56
too much stimulation going on, my brain just kind of shuts
33:59
down. So the, the sensory stuff
34:03
becomes overwhelming. And so I had a strategy.
34:08
I don't walk into loud, loud auditoriums.
34:10
And you know, I give presentations all the time.
34:13
I just stay outside and greet people at the door.
34:15
I'm not down at the podium until everyone is seated.
34:19
So I was developing all these strategies.
34:22
So no one knew at that point that didn't know that I had a
34:26
disability. And that was on purpose.
34:28
That was your Yeah, you were hiding it.
34:31
And you're having to do the extra stuff so that they don't
34:34
know. And then and you're kind of
34:36
feeding the system that way. So you weren't asking for help,
34:40
you weren't asking for accommodations.
34:42
You were just trying to hide it and keep up with everybody else
34:46
even though you had the struggle.
34:49
Yeah, I mean, I, I some, I somewhat was asking for
34:52
accommodations. I Colorado State.
34:55
Colorado State, you can't put up your own whiteboard.
34:58
Facilities management has to put.
35:00
So I have our system to order a whiteboard and put it up.
35:05
Right. Right.
35:06
I wish I had someone to come and hang up my whiteboard.
35:10
Exactly. It's very nice.
35:13
You know, I had to let people know that I had to close my
35:16
door. You know, that was another
35:17
thing. I needed to have the door on the
35:19
office. I mean, I had AI, had an office
35:21
luckily, but I needed to let people know that there were
35:24
things I needed different than how I was before.
35:28
Likely. Were you?
35:28
Do you think, yeah, what I was the I am going to leave this
35:33
back to the intro. Do you find that feeling, I
35:40
mean, you can't stop the feeling of shame necessarily, right?
35:43
And so trying to hide it and trying to be who you were
35:46
before, do you think you would do it that way again if you had
35:51
the power to? Or would you have been a little
35:54
bit more upfront? Or would you?
35:58
I, I guess what's the strategy to make the invisible visible?
36:02
And I bring it back to the intro because on the intro, I was
36:05
trying to thread together a few concepts that in my head made a
36:09
lot of sense. But I also have a processing
36:14
thing that it's like hard to get words out and it's hard to get
36:19
thoughts connected. And it's plagued me for my life.
36:21
And it wasn't until my daughter was diagnosed with it, which I
36:26
won't go much more into that on the show, but just it was like
36:29
this aha moment. I'm like, oh, yeah, that is
36:32
what's going on with the way my brain thinks.
36:34
And it shows up a lot in the boardroom because I can't, I
36:39
can't. I don't want to say it like I
36:42
can't react in the same time that a lot of people can react
36:45
to and eloquently. I have to go and take it out and
36:48
really think about it and write about it and write it down and
36:50
do a couple of things and then come back prepared.
36:53
And I could not get out of the park.
36:55
But I've often thought as part of my my personal brand, should
36:59
I be continuing to live in that shame and hide it and fake it
37:04
till I make it? Or should I go in and disclaim
37:06
it? And I don't mean disclaim it
37:08
other than just announcing it and saying, hey, guys, this is
37:11
how my brain works. Then I'm like, all of us process
37:15
things differently, like how many invisible disabilities are
37:18
out there with dyslexia and processing disorders and sensory
37:22
disorders and yours happens to be like this super traumatic
37:24
event, but we all think a little bit differently.
37:27
So it's all goes to the question of obviously no one should sit
37:31
in shame, but would you do it differently?
37:35
And did you eventually do it differently?
37:37
And do you tell people to make it visible or no?
37:41
I don't know. Do they have the right to even
37:43
know? I don't know.
37:44
I don't know. That is such a a great question
37:48
lately. I think it's a developmental
37:52
process. I mean, that's that's sort of my
37:54
research background is in student development and how
37:56
students change over time. And I feel like I needed to go
38:00
through a process to understand who I am with this disability
38:08
and figure out how do I own it and not be embarrassed about it
38:13
and not be ashamed about it. Because truthfully, all of us
38:18
who don't currently have a disability are temporarily able
38:22
bodied when we get older. That's so true.
38:24
We will have a disability. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right.
38:30
We are temporarily able bodied. It's so true.
38:34
It's so true. And, and, and I think coming to
38:40
terms with what that means and realizing, you know, the most
38:45
powerful thing for me was in my therapy to understand and I, I
38:50
can recall the hours and hours of therapy around Jodie.
38:54
People will love you for who you are, not necessarily for what
38:59
you do. That was really hard for me to
39:04
understand. Well, especially with your
39:07
background, too. Yeah, like you didn't, you
39:10
weren't 'cause I thought that you're.
39:12
Yeah, you're like hard disagree. Yeah, absolutely not.
39:16
It is all about what I do because also.
39:19
All right, so let's let's Fast forward into being an employer
39:22
Who like it sounds really warm and fuzzy for me to have an
39:27
employee in front of me and for me to say, I'm valuing you for
39:31
who you are, not what you do. If I say that and I and, and end
39:35
it with a period, it's just like, well, that how far can
39:41
that really take me when that starts to go South, when what
39:44
they do starts to not be measuring up, right?
39:47
And so it's this balance of that sounds really good.
39:50
But at the end of the day, this job still has to be done.
39:53
So I'm so curious, like did you build back up to a place where
39:57
you're like 100% efficient or did they have to provide other?
40:01
I mean, let's even start with when you were out, how did they
40:03
handle covering your workload? Like did they have to hire
40:06
someone else? Did you did the rest of your
40:07
friends and Co workers have to pitch in for that nine months
40:11
while you were gone? Did they know about it?
40:12
Did they know if there was an end insight?
40:15
How did they handle that? OK, Heather, that was a ton of
40:21
questions. I'm sorry.
40:23
Listen, listen to me. Ask the the brain injury
40:26
patient. Let's see, how healed are you?
40:29
OK, How, how how far along? I'm such an asshole but she's
40:35
one of my best friends so we could say that to each.
40:38
Other so I could be an asshole, Yeah, if I could summarize for
40:44
Heather, I think what she was trying to say in her 5 million
40:49
questions as. Thank you.
40:50
What did? The management team get right
40:53
and what did they get wrong? Good summer in supporting you.
40:58
Yeah, yeah. I was really fortunate.
41:01
I had a graduate student who was eager to learn everything, and
41:08
he was so excited to have more responsibilities.
41:13
So he took on quite a bit. And it was a learning experience
41:18
for him. My colleagues kind of all
41:22
divided up the work that needed to get done.
41:27
My partner gave ongoing updates about what the doctors were
41:32
saying about when I probably would be able to come back to
41:35
work. And so I think what they did
41:42
well was they allowed me time to heal and they did it because I
41:48
had earned that sick leave and annual leave.
41:51
And so I think, you know, I keep harping on that because because
42:01
I don't want to feel guilty for doing that, that that was I had
42:06
earned that leave to be able to heal.
42:09
But you shouldn't feel guilty, even if you hadn't earned that
42:13
leave. Yeah, right.
42:18
Yeah. I mean, you know how you feel.
42:21
Yeah. I mean, shoulda, woulda, coulda,
42:22
right. I mean, that's just that's the
42:24
way. So.
42:25
OK, so previously your measuring stick was am I achieving enough?
42:32
Am I, you know, of enough value? What is it now?
42:36
What's what's your measuring stick now?
42:41
Am I good enough? Am I, am IA good human, Am IA
42:51
good contributor? And that's that's critical.
42:55
I think, you know, when I think back on some of your, what you
42:59
were talking about pregnancy and childbirth, I often say that as
43:06
a colleague, it's up to me to support a pregnant colleague or
43:13
a parenting colleague because we need people to have children to
43:18
become good citizens of the world, right?
43:20
Contributing citizens of the world.
43:23
And so that's my responsibility to support my colleague who in
43:27
the first year after having a baby, they're not sleeping,
43:30
they're not producing at their best either.
43:34
And so I think it it's creating that team at work where people
43:38
are willing to pitch in and help each other instead of being so
43:42
individualistic. I have my job and I just need to
43:46
do my responsibilities. And if you aren't pulling your
43:49
weight, that's your problem. It's more talking with each
43:54
other about what's going on for you and creating a safe space
43:57
where you can say this is what's going on for me and this is what
44:00
I'm doing to get better. This is the strategies I'm using
44:05
to be able to do my work, etcetera.
44:09
All right, Jody, so you know, we get questions and from listeners
44:12
and this was very topical you coming on because one of our
44:15
sticky situations, and I'll just paraphrase is what do I do if I
44:19
have a disability that I don't want to tell my boss about
44:23
because I'm not I'm I'm afraid that I'm going to get fired.
44:26
It was something along those lines.
44:28
And so you're a perfect boss and the way you're thinking about it
44:31
makes sense. But what's your advice to
44:33
somebody who is not in that situation and is afraid to
44:37
disclose? What would you say to them?
44:41
I would say that's that's real and they people don't have a
44:46
right to know what your disability is.
44:48
So if you feel like it is not safe to disclose, I would not
44:52
encourage you to disclose. And having said that, if you
44:57
need an accommodation, you're going to have to figure out how
45:00
to get that accommodation, whether it's going to HR, your
45:05
employee assistance program and working with them to get the
45:08
accommodation. And then having HR work with
45:11
your supervisor on this. You know, in order for this
45:16
employee for, you know, for me to do my work, I need XY or Z
45:22
and get the protection that way. Because if you disclose outside
45:27
of that formal process, you may not have the employment
45:32
protection. That's a really good point.
45:35
Wait, Jody's got her lawyer glasses on?
45:37
I was going to say I didn't. I have to repeat that if you
45:40
disclose outside of the formal process, you might not have
45:43
protection. Is that what I heard?
45:45
Yeah, if you could, you could be fired because you're not doing,
45:49
you're not fulfilling all the expectations.
45:52
But if you had these accommodations, you'd be able to
45:54
fulfill all the expectations. I see what you're saying.
45:57
Right, so let's take dyslexia. You mentioned dyslexia, so let's
45:59
take dyslexia as an example. If your job is taking you twice
46:03
as long to get done and you haven't disclosed that you have
46:07
dyslexia or needing a, you know, an auditory accommodation or
46:11
whatever that might be, they're just going to think you're slow
46:14
or unwilling or just not getting your work done, not spending
46:17
your time wisely. That puts you in a bad
46:19
situation. And if you haven't disclosed
46:21
that, then you're not covered. They need, they need to know
46:27
it's, it's an interactive process.
46:30
You don't know what? I don't know that I'm sort of of
46:33
a camp. I don't know that everyone needs
46:35
to know. Well, it's just if you want the
46:37
federal, if you want the protection, if you want the
46:39
legal protection, then you're going to need to disclose to
46:41
somebody. Yeah.
46:43
No, that's, that's good to know. But I don't know that everyone
46:47
needs to know if that makes sense for me personally or.
46:52
Yeah, but why? Like, I 'cause I agree with you,
46:54
Blakely, but like, I want to hear more of like where your
46:56
head's at on that. What do you think's going to
46:59
happen if they know? I think there's like 2, wow,
47:07
gosh, I don't know, there's a lot in that.
47:09
And so off the cuff it is, I don't like being viewed in a
47:15
victim mentality. And so that sometimes feels like
47:21
I'm just going to use my powers for when I my strategies for
47:23
when I need them. And I'm more come from an
47:28
achievement background like Jodie.
47:31
So I take a lot of pride and overcoming and being gritty and
47:34
working hard and getting through it.
47:37
And so it's, I mean, it's all wrapped up in personal feelings
47:40
maybe. So.
47:45
Yeah. This, this gets back to this
47:47
gets back to some of what we were talking about earlier, of
47:51
going from shame to actually owning it and not feeling less
47:58
than for having this disability. Because it's actually giving me,
48:02
it's giving me so many gifts because now I have a much richer
48:07
life because I'm not just all about achievement.
48:11
I'm much more about relationships and feeling well,
48:15
not just doing stuff. And so owning, owning that as
48:23
you age, you gain wisdom. It isn't just about you can't
48:27
forget you can't remember things as well.
48:31
And so, so reframing what this disability means then puts you
48:37
more in power to talk with your supervisor if you have that kind
48:41
of a relationship to say, I can still do the work.
48:46
These are some strategies that I need to be able to do the work
48:50
and I can still be a a contributing member of this
48:54
office. I don't think that I would ever
48:57
say that I'm not doing my work. I'm still doing my work, but I'm
49:01
doing it differently. And and I think that's the key
49:06
to remember we are all temporary, temporarily able
49:09
bodied or those of us that are someday, wouldn't we want that
49:13
to be done for us? Yes.
49:17
And I think what's missing is the maybe the emotional
49:22
intelligence piece at an earlier period of life.
49:27
I mean, your, your disability hit you at 40.
49:33
Some people are born into their invisible disabilities and there
49:36
really is not a great emotional intelligence framework to feel
49:42
like accepted immediately or not into that victim and think about
49:47
all the labels we have available to our generations now.
49:51
And so like almost like the more labels which are invisible
49:54
disabilities, right? Like depression and anxiety and
49:58
ADHD. ADHD.
50:01
Back to your point, Heather, I don't think the corporate entity
50:06
has that framework specifically and so how there's.
50:09
Not a lot of patients, yeah, there's not a lot of, there's
50:13
not a lot of patience for it. There's not a lot of
50:14
understanding. When you get hit with a I'm
50:18
using the word get hit because I've that you hear that all the
50:21
time with somebody asking for an accommodation.
50:23
When you get hit with an accommodation request that that
50:26
is the kind of the mental. It's like, OK, how much is it
50:28
gonna cost? How long do we have to do it?
50:30
How do we still measure success? How do we, It's kind of like an
50:33
eye roll Exactly. Like, OK, let's like put this
50:35
off on HR. It's you kind of skipping over
50:37
the human element. And there's not a lot of
50:39
patience for it. It's like they're just dealing
50:41
with it. Yep, Yep.
50:42
We're doing it wrong. Yep.
50:44
Yeah, yeah. Well, and I just.
50:46
Well, I think it's easier to hide them, right?
50:48
And I think that's how we got here.
50:51
So because we're being judged by it?
50:53
Yeah, judge for it. Well, Blakely, I I feel a little
50:57
bad that I made fun of your failure to thread the story.
51:01
See. But now I know.
51:03
You should not. I didn't disclaim.
51:05
My disability. And also, you can't disclaim it.
51:08
You have to disclose it. You have it, you can't disclaim
51:10
it. You.
51:11
Have to claim it now, it's now I'm like.
51:15
And she chose to be a podcast host.
51:19
Yeah. I knew it would come out
51:20
eventually and here it is live on this show.
51:24
Like what are the odds? And you're killing it.
51:26
Now you can. You can own it.
51:28
And listeners and viewers don't know this, but Blakely spends so
51:32
much time working on things like doing the intro and she works on
51:38
the transitions, and she spends a lot of time.
51:41
And over time, we've talked about this off the show, but she
51:45
has week by week seriously made improvements in the direction
51:51
that she wants to go, not based on what standards we have, what
51:54
standards she wants to hold herself to.
51:57
And so go back to episode 1. May Blakely be like, don't do
52:01
that, but go back to episode 1 and watch through and you will
52:05
see that she has worked very, very hard and we appreciate that
52:08
so much that you've done that. Well y'all, I still use a
52:11
teleprompter and there's my accommodation.
52:13
It's a normal thing. So a teleprompter is a tool.
52:16
It's. Yeah, that's, I mean, it's
52:18
totally, totally, yeah. Have you seen the Oscars bit
52:21
where they don't use it and it totally goes off the rails?
52:24
Like they, yeah, even Hollywood uses it.
52:27
You know, the other thing that you can research or you can link
52:32
is the spoon there theory. And it really goes to what
52:35
Blakely's talking about, is that folks with disabilities, they
52:40
wake up, well, actually everybody wakes up with a
52:43
certain number of spoons in your pocket.
52:46
And a person with a disability may use more spoons to get out
52:51
of bed, to get dressed, to make them, you know, make their
52:56
breakfast and their lunch get to work.
52:59
They're already 4/4 to five spoons down than a person
53:05
without a disability. They're going into work with all
53:08
their spoons. And so they're totally fine.
53:10
When I think about Blakely, when you were starting off, I'm not
53:14
saying that you had a disability, but when you were
53:16
starting off with this podcast and how much work and energy it
53:20
took to do all those things that you're now doing with a lot more
53:26
ease, you were using so many spoons.
53:28
Your energy was depleted, I would imagine much faster than
53:33
now. And so it's understanding that
53:36
for employees as well. That is such, I think, the most
53:41
important thing for listeners to remember on this show.
53:45
The energy it takes is so much more than someone without that
53:52
particular disability, right? It's just the investment and it
53:55
makes me so proud to actually watch my kids, you know, like
53:59
how much energy they're putting forth.
54:01
And I shame them on the laundry. And I'm sorry, Eldon, I love
54:05
you. And I'm sorry for this morning's
54:07
snap. Aw.
54:10
You're forgiven, You're forgiven, You're forgiven.
54:14
You're going to have to correct your snap correction.
54:21
Yeah, I think it's. That you think that he watches
54:25
this podcast? No, he does not watch this
54:28
podcast, let's be honest. He's not our target demographic.
54:32
That's OK. But he's going to benefit from
54:35
the spoon story I'll tell. You that yeah, that's.
54:38
A good one. It is a good one, although why
54:40
are we keeping spoons in our pockets?
54:42
I feel like that story could have had more relevance.
54:45
Like what's the spoons? I always need to save a spoon
54:48
for, like, late night cereal because that's kind of my thing.
54:52
Like I love like the late night cereal.
54:54
Yeah. What kind of cereal?
54:57
Oh, don't make me say it. It's embarrassing.
55:00
It's Lucky Charms. Yes, it's Lucky Charms.
55:02
I love Lucky Charms. I ate a box they're.
55:06
Magically delicious. Pregnant.
55:08
I think that's really awesome. Things OK, Good.
55:13
Yeah. Lucky Charms.
55:14
They're magically delicious. OK, I know we are so way over.
55:19
We do this happens every time. See, Jodi, you and I go on hikes
55:22
and we talk about how how can we make this podcast shorter?
55:25
And now you're here and you realize it's hard.
55:27
It's hard to make it shorter, right?
55:29
It's hard. It's really, I feel bad for
55:30
clay. I know we all do.
55:33
I. Feel bad for Clay too.
55:34
We all do. Everybody feels bad, all right?
55:36
I'm still crying. OK, why?
55:39
Blakely wipes up her tears and starts crafting her apology
55:44
Snapchat message to Elden. Let's, let's get to smiles.
55:50
We're over on time. Jodi.
55:51
Thank you so much. Before we get there, I think
55:53
it's pretty incredible that someone at your stature and
55:56
you're in the public eye and that you would just come out and
55:59
be so open. It really speaks to the fact
56:01
that you do own your invisible disability and you are the
56:05
opposite of ashamed of it now. And you're telling your story so
56:07
that other people can learn, they can have courage to get the
56:10
help they need. No one should be suffering.
56:13
If you, listener, are suffering from an invisible disability,
56:16
talk to someone. Find something at someone at
56:18
your company that you trust. They legally need to treat you
56:21
well when you tell them. So just do the best you can to
56:26
find someone that you trust and think hard about what would make
56:29
your day easier because you deserve it.
56:31
And you're you're killing it just by showing up every day as
56:35
you are. So if they can help make that
56:36
easier, it's going to be better for everybody.
56:38
So don't be ashamed. Own it.
56:42
All right, So, Jody, at the end of our show, we always go around
56:46
and ask everybody our guests, and then we also answer it to
56:49
What brought a smile to your face this week?
56:52
Doing this podcast made me smile.
56:59
Yeah, yeah, I yeah, that probably.
57:02
And I said I come from a family of five kids.
57:07
And last night we were all on a Zoom call talking about our
57:10
parents scholarship and we were laughing and chuckling.
57:13
And that, yeah, it warmed my heart that even though our
57:18
parents are no longer with us, the the five of us are still
57:21
close. Beautiful.
57:23
What's the name of the scholarship?
57:26
It's my parents names David and Sally Weisson Memorial
57:29
Scholarship. What a lovely thing.
57:32
What a good thing to leave behind.
57:33
I love that Clay Blakely smiles. Well, I'm married to Chevy Chase
57:40
from Christmas vacation and so every year he put more lights
57:44
than anyone else on the street. But five years ago, I think more
57:50
or less our neighbor across the street who's probably pushed a
57:53
90 or 100, I mean comes over and he hands us this envelope and it
57:58
inside of it with $100 bill, which has got to be so much
58:02
money for him. That probably was like $1000 to
58:05
him. And he said this is for one more
58:09
strand of lights this year. And could you do the big tree?
58:14
Well, the big tree is an Evergreen that is literally
58:17
three times taller than our house.
58:19
And so there's no way to do the big tree.
58:22
But we did buy more money. That was stopping.
58:24
You yeah, he did well and it's a lot of money to do the big tree.
58:30
But we Scott, for five years, every year he puts on another
58:35
strand. But this year we were, we just
58:39
went all in and we got some help.
58:42
And so right now, there is someone outside with a cherry
58:46
picker putting on lights on the big tree while Scott does all
58:50
the other trees. And my neighbor is out.
58:53
When I came in for the podcast, he was with his Walker sitting
58:56
on his front porch watching them string the lights for victory.
59:00
Stop it. So I am so excited for, like,
59:03
the chubby chase moment. I just hope the lights come on.
59:06
Yeah. And nobody, you know, if they
59:09
don't, Yeah, you can go in the garage and flip that switch.
59:12
Yeah. Yeah.
59:13
It's the best scene in any movie.
59:15
Yeah. So it is the best clay got one.
59:19
Yeah, so this past week, my friends are building a recording
59:26
studio in Detroit. They actually had one that was
59:29
on kind of like the West side of downtown in Cork town, another
59:32
building on the east side closer to my house, and I had to meet
59:36
someone there to go drop off a piece of equipment.
59:39
So I said to my son Emeris, why don't you come with me?
59:42
So he came with me. It was late, you know, like, is
59:45
this going to be cool? I'm like, dude, it's going to be
59:47
cool. It's a recording studio.
59:49
Come on, let's go. So we go in there and, you know,
59:53
we basically open up and it's, you know, brand new and like the
59:56
control sound board is there and there's like these cool lights
1:00:00
that are in there and there's like a little kitchen and cool
1:00:02
design stuff and they're putting a lot of thought into it.
1:00:06
And Emeris just kind of lit up and was like, and we met a few
1:00:09
people that were there, other musicians, you know, and I told
1:00:12
them afterwards I was like, hey, you know, those are rock stars.
1:00:15
You know, 'cause they, they do they like, they play huge shows,
1:00:18
thousands of people and they. They're literal rock stars.
1:00:22
And he just kind of like this. He got the, he like met a person
1:00:26
who's actually doing it. And he was like looking at all
1:00:29
the sound stuff. And he walked out and we're
1:00:32
driving down, we're driving down Gratiot.
1:00:35
No one knows what that means, but Heather knows what that
1:00:37
means. And he was like, Dad, I want to
1:00:39
work there, You know, I want to like, I want to work there.
1:00:41
And he was like, it was, this is cool.
1:00:43
Like because that's how I got into music.
1:00:46
I started interning at music studios as a musician and
1:00:48
started playing. And he kind of was like, he
1:00:52
caught the vision for how cool it would be to be there.
1:00:54
And I was like, it was just fun. It was, it made me smile.
1:00:58
I was like, this is awesome, dude.
1:00:59
We're just like playing loud music, having fun, just like it
1:01:04
was just great. Yeah, it was.
1:01:05
Really cool 2 dudes. Two dudes, 2 dudes, that's fun
1:01:08
when they catch a vision. We just want.
1:01:10
To rock with. Them dude, we just want to rock.
1:01:12
That's all we want to do. Yeah, who doesn't?
1:01:14
Totally. Who doesn't?
1:01:17
All right, mine quick was Jake. My son called.
1:01:22
He sounded kind of down in the dumps.
1:01:24
He lives up in the mountains and I'm always telling him, like,
1:01:26
you live in the mountains and you snowboard every day like
1:01:28
cramming river. Like what?
1:01:29
How? How bad can life really be for
1:01:31
you? And he's like, I don't know.
1:01:34
I just, I just feel down. I was like, FaceTime me because
1:01:36
I want to see his face. So he did.
1:01:38
And then I was like, OK, turn the camera and I looked at his
1:01:41
room and it was just like a bomb went off.
1:01:42
You know, He had switched rooms with a roommate and the bomb
1:01:46
went off. And I was like, well, obviously
1:01:47
you're depressed. I'm like, look what you're
1:01:48
surrounded in right now. Dude, you're 22 years old.
1:01:50
Do you know better? So I did not send him enough
1:01:53
snap corrections when he was younger, I think.
1:01:55
And it's so he still struggles. So I was like, so I'm just going
1:01:59
to hang out here on the. And I'm going to write.
1:02:01
I'm going to write work on the book.
1:02:02
And so we just sat there on FaceTime, like not looking at
1:02:06
each other. Like I set my phone down.
1:02:07
He set his phone down for 2 1/2 hours while he just cleaned and
1:02:10
he cleaned and he just did it. Yeah.
1:02:12
And he like, I was like, in the book, but it was, he just needed
1:02:15
that, like, moral support, even as a grown adult to be like, the
1:02:18
accountability. I don't know exactly what it
1:02:20
was, but it was just like, yeah. And then by the end, he's like,
1:02:23
I was like, how's it working? Good.
1:02:26
I was like, all right, I've got this picture, like, which wall
1:02:27
should I hang it on? But by the end, it was all
1:02:30
picked up laundry, sorted stuff on the walls.
1:02:32
And he's like, I feel so much better.
1:02:34
And I was like, oh, cool, good mom.
1:02:36
That was good stuff. Good.
1:02:39
Job. Yeah, I don't know.
1:02:40
Good job. I love that smiles connection.
1:02:42
Yay. All right, Jodi, thank you so
1:02:44
much. Thank you for being such a dear
1:02:46
friend, such a supporter, and for supporting all the people
1:02:50
you all who work with and report to.
1:02:52
Jodi Donovan are some of the luckiest people on the planet.
1:02:55
I hope you know it. Amen.
1:02:57
Oh, and shout out to Piper. Piper Jane the Boxer and the.
1:03:02
Yeah, yeah, Piper Girly. Yep, the Velcro dog.
1:03:08
Remember what we picked her up in the parking lot that was so
1:03:10
shady? Well, that's a whole nother
1:03:12
story. I mean, yeah.
1:03:15
What? You can't drop.
1:03:16
Jodie Part 2 all. Right, you can't.
1:03:19
You can't drop that at the end. So.
1:03:22
Remember. What?
1:03:22
We picked her up in the parking lot.
1:03:24
What are you talking about? We got a we met a guy in a
1:03:26
parking lot. We paid, I paid for her.
1:03:29
We did not. But like with like cash in a
1:03:32
paper bag? Kind of.
1:03:33
It was an exchange. No, it was legit.
1:03:37
OK. So Heather, Heather and Kate
1:03:40
drove me and we picked up Piper as a, as a, you know, eight week
1:03:44
old puppy. Wow.
1:03:45
Yeah, we did. It was a it was a friend bonding
1:03:48
experience. Oh, that's cool.
1:03:49
It's. A special day.
1:03:50
Well, thank you for thank you for letting me play with you all
1:03:54
This is this is the. Highlight.
1:03:56
This is really fun. For the therapy today, I know
1:03:59
and shining a light was awesome. So she does.