Latest / Real Talk Real Agents | A Real Estate Podcast for Agents / 5: Bored, Broke & Burnt Out: The 3 B's Every Real Estate Agent Hits (And How to Get Out)

Transcript

5: Bored, Broke & Burnt Out: The 3 B's Every Real Estate Agent Hits (And How to Get Out) · Real Talk Real Agents | A Real Estate Podcast for Agents

• 0:00
  so Mackenzie
• 0:01
  this next topic um
• 0:03
  it really did stop us in our tracks
• 0:05
  is the moment the agent said it
• 0:07
  I think we both were like
• 0:08
  podcast topic
• 0:10
  and we did ask her if we could use this yes
• 0:13
  yeah we won't
• 0:14
  username but I was like damn
• 0:16
  this really describes a lot of real estate agents
• 0:19
  so we were interviewing her
• 0:21
  cause she was thinking about making a change
• 0:22
  yes and what did she say
• 0:24
  she was
• 0:25
  she was like girl
• 0:27
  I am bored burnt out and broke
• 0:30
  and we're like oh
• 0:31
  my gosh those
• 0:33
  those are the three cycles
• 0:35
  yeah that agents go through
• 0:36
  yeah hopefully not all at the same time
• 0:39
  which I think is why she was making a change
• 0:41
  cause she was feeling like she was living all three
• 0:43
  in that particular moment
• 0:44
  which is a lot but I think
• 0:46
  you know
• 0:46
  sometimes you either cycle through it or unfortunately
• 0:48
  you could be in the mode of feeling them all
• 0:52
  nobody in real estate is gonna tell you the real stuff
• 0:55
  so we will we're gonna talk about all the stuff
• 0:58
  that nobody posts about but everybody needs to hear
• 1:02
  we've been in this industry long enough
• 1:04
  to know what works and long enough to know what doesn't
• 1:07
  I'm Pam and I'm Mackenzie
• 1:09
  and this is real talk real agents
• 1:12
  if you're a real estate agent
• 1:13
  that is so tired of the fake it till you make it energy
• 1:16
  this is your show we
• 1:18
  are two agents who are still in it every single day
• 1:21
  and we are not coaching from the sidelines
• 1:23
  we are in the trenches with you
• 1:25
  no filters and no fluff alright
• 1:28
  real talk starts right now
• 1:29
  so today we're gonna talk about
• 1:31
  what does it look like to be bored
• 1:33
  burnt out and or broke and um
• 1:37
  some tools to use
• 1:38
  and just some experiences that maybe we've had for sure
• 1:40
  so
• 1:40
  if you have experienced any of these currently
• 1:44
  in the past
• 1:45
  feel like you may be a future pacesetter for this one
• 1:48
  please like and subscribe
• 1:50
  let's talk about the first one
• 1:51
  I guess um
• 1:53
  is the bored part which you would think
• 1:55
  like we wouldn't be bored because this is a crazy job
• 2:00
  but you but I don't even know what it means to be bored
• 2:02
  I mean I do
• 2:03
  but when you think about it
• 2:03
  yes
• 2:04
  and I saw a meme the other day and it was like
• 2:06
  you know you're a real estate agent
• 2:08
  when things get a little slow
• 2:09
  you start thinking about a brokerage change
• 2:12
  a logo change I'm all of a sudden gonna have a team now
• 2:16
  like
• 2:16
  you know I was like
• 2:17
  oh my god because we can't stop
• 2:19
  this literally is every agent out there
• 2:21
  made me giggle but is that Borden
• 2:23
  how do you know that
• 2:23
  you're getting bored with real estate
• 2:26
  or I'm assuming you've gotten
• 2:27
  you've been bored with it
• 2:29
  yeah right
• 2:29
  it's interesting the two I think for me
• 2:31
  boredom and burnout really go hand in hand
• 2:34
  okay
• 2:35
  I find that if I'm not feeling creative or
• 2:39
  or building something like
• 2:41
  I had another great conversation
• 2:44
  we were there with another team leader
• 2:45
  and she's like I'm a builder
• 2:46
  and I was like ah
• 2:47
  plus I really relate to that
• 2:49
  and so if I'm not building
• 2:51
  I'm not stretching then I can get super bored
• 2:56
  with just all of it just like with the industry
• 3:00
  I probably shouldn't say that out loud
• 3:03
  I wasn't pausing
• 3:04
  this is me learning to be more reflective
• 3:07
  I'm looking at Mackenzie's face going
• 3:08
  did she just say that
• 3:13
  no and
• 3:15
  um when I feel that I'm bored
• 3:18
  there are two things is
• 3:20
  I'm working on things
• 3:21
  that I don't really love working on
• 3:24
  but the time the moment in time
• 3:27
  requires it to get to that next level
• 3:31
  that's one where where I get bored
• 3:33
  or I've learning where I'm
• 3:37
  if I'm working on something
• 3:38
  or working with somebody or helping someone
• 3:41
  and my heart just not into it anymore
• 3:44
  or my heart is into it more
• 3:46
  yeah I just
• 3:47
  I get bored with the same
• 3:51
  outcome right
• 3:53
  right and it's
• 3:54
  and I'm a high ass and I love if I do this
• 3:56
  and this will happen
• 3:58
  right but the more that I've Learned to take chances
• 4:03
  and to put myself out there
• 4:06
  I get bored
• 4:08
  I can't believe I'm gonna say this out loud
• 4:10
  I'm getting bored with
• 4:11
  sometimes the conversations of those not
• 4:15
  yes cause I've seen
• 4:17
  I don't know if I'm articulating that well
• 4:18
  but example I have for you
• 4:20
  OK so Mackenzie is one that literally
• 4:23
  she'll walk through fire with you as an agent
• 4:27
  she will drag you into transactions
• 4:31
  whether you want it or not
• 4:33
  but here recently
• 4:35
  I feel like you have said
• 4:38
  I cannot want this more
• 4:39
  than what someone else is willing to do for themselves
• 4:45
  and I think you're coming to some of this conclusion of
• 4:48
  I can literally do almost everything for someone
• 4:51
  and it's just they're just
• 4:53
  not willing to take it across the finish line so
• 4:55
  so I think you get bored of saying the same just
• 4:59
  I'm just like what the fuck
• 5:00
  like pick up the phone
• 5:01
  like I don't know what to tell you like
• 5:03
  and then someone told me that really
• 5:05
  my job title is chief repeating officer
• 5:08
  I'm like well
• 5:09
  but how many times do I have that
• 5:12
  I don't like that's not the job I signed up for
• 5:14
  no it is not
• 5:15
  and then you turn 50 on top of that
• 5:16
  and then I just get annoyed much quicker
• 5:18
  yeah I know
• 5:19
  so I have to talk about stuff menopause self reflection
• 5:24
  am I bored because I'm just where I am in my life
• 5:27
  or so the board cause I'm finding myself
• 5:31
  and I shouldn't be saying this to Pam
• 5:34
  team owner extraordinary
• 5:37
  I procrastinate when I'm bored
• 5:39
  and I'm not a procrastinator
• 5:40
  I think that's I same
• 5:42
  I do the same
• 5:44
  I perform so much better when I'm like
• 5:46
  balls to the wall like busy
• 5:48
  yeah like
• 5:48
  that stresses me out that's a whole yeah
• 5:50
  that is a problem
• 5:51
  just for the record extreme example
• 5:53
  correct but
• 5:54
  but now I get that yeah
• 5:56
  I don't know so I
• 5:57
  when I find myself so
• 5:59
  you know asking if an agent's listening to this
• 6:01
  and they're like am I bored
• 6:02
  am I broke or am I burnt out
• 6:04
  so for me I know that I'm bored
• 6:07
  when I procrastinate on things that I would
• 6:09
  just'cause I'm somebody who's like
• 6:10
  just get it done so it's not on my
• 6:12
  I just rather get it done
• 6:13
  whether I like to do it or not
• 6:14
  I I'm too type a
• 6:16
  and I'm too disciplined to not do it
• 6:18
  even if I don't wanna do it
• 6:19
  I don't have that issue yeah
• 6:20
  but the procrastination
• 6:23
  and then I get better that I'm doing it
• 6:25
  when I start doing it and so that's my say OK
• 6:29
  why am I bored
• 6:30
  and a lot of times when it used to be well
• 6:32
  it's because of something else or someone else
• 6:34
  but no
• 6:35
  maybe I need to flip how I'm thinking about something
• 6:37
  flip how I'm having a conversation with someone
• 6:39
  I need to hear it differently
• 6:40
  or maybe
• 6:41
  it's time for them to hear from somebody different
• 6:42
  yeah going back on a previous episode
• 6:45
  where if someone used to have a different opinion
• 6:47
  or a different way of helping an agent
• 6:49
  than what I would I would like
• 6:50
  spiral like oh my gosh
• 6:52
  who am I to be giving advice
• 6:53
  who am I to be telling somebody
• 6:54
  you know how to make them their
• 6:57
  their business better you know
• 6:59
  so I just really try to to look into that a little bit
• 7:01
  but that's how I know I'm bored is when I
• 7:03
  when I procrastinate on topics
• 7:05
  yeah I think
• 7:07
  I'm not nearly as productive when I'm bored too
• 7:10
  I can see it just in my output
• 7:11
  same not having the zest for like
• 7:14
  whipping through the to do list like I normally would
• 7:17
  and I have realized that
• 7:18
  there's a creative piece to all of this
• 7:22
  that I need as well
• 7:24
  but um
• 7:25
  yeah it'll
• 7:26
  it'll push me to do a new activity right yeah
• 7:29
  alright broke
• 7:31
  you wanna talk about broke
• 7:33
  do broke or burnout burnout
• 7:35
  okay
• 7:36
  apparently we're not talking about being broke
• 7:38
  I don't know I felt aggressive
• 7:40
  hahaha
• 7:42
  I'm sorry I have two kids in college right now
• 7:45
  she's thinking about my fucking people hahaha
• 7:48
  I'm in my college tuition era right now
• 7:50
  no let's talk about bro
• 7:51
  no we don't have to
• 7:53
  no no
• 7:53
  for real it's
• 7:54
  I mean that's the
• 7:55
  that's why we're doing all this stuff right
• 7:57
  we are so that we're not broke
• 7:58
  we're
• 8:00
  we are gainfully employed and yeah
• 8:04
  because if you're making money
• 8:05
  then maybe you're not
• 8:05
  you're less burnout and all the things
• 8:09
  I think it is a byproduct
• 8:11
  was the reason why I paused
• 8:12
  I think the broke piece is a
• 8:14
  is a byproduct of the you know
• 8:16
  burnout burnout and maybe bored too
• 8:19
  well that
• 8:19
  let's talk about the let's flip it
• 8:20
  we can do that right
• 8:21
  so um
• 8:22
  we talked about when we know we're bored
• 8:24
  right the procrastination
• 8:26
  so when does it go from I'm bored to like
• 8:29
  I'm just burnt out I'm
• 8:30
  I'm procrastinating cause I just have nothing
• 8:32
  yeah you know left to give
• 8:34
  I think some of it is on
• 8:36
  continually doing the things that don't give you joy
• 8:40
  for a long period of time
• 8:41
  and there's sections of anybody's job that
• 8:43
  you know you just gotta plow through
• 8:44
  like it doesn't give you joy
• 8:46
  but it's it's the nature of the beast
• 8:47
  you have to do it
• 8:48
  but there is a time there where
• 8:50
  I think it's just energy spent spent spent
• 8:54
  spent without any joy given back
• 8:59
  and again that's what's
• 9:01
  for me it's the creativity piece
• 9:02
  which I think is why I like to build
• 9:04
  because it makes me think differently
• 9:06
  and then I'm like oh
• 9:08
  what about this and that can give me additional joy
• 9:13
  which can be the payoff for all the extra work
• 9:17
  so I have to flip my mind a little bit
• 9:19
  to find something creative to get me out of boredom
• 9:23
  which also can help get me out of burnout
• 9:25
  but that's for me
• 9:29
  I find when I'm burnt out
• 9:31
  the difference between is
• 9:34
  because
• 9:34
  I don't have a clear direction of where I'm going
• 9:36
  and what I'm doing
• 9:39
  that's really good
• 9:41
  cause I've been
• 9:43
  for the record I'm not burnt out at the moment
• 9:45
  yeah but
• 9:46
  and I think trying to not
• 9:48
  cause I was burnt out probably end of last year
• 9:52
  maybe a little bit have to go just
• 9:54
  and when we were moving no
• 9:56
  we were yeah
• 9:56
  we're moving there was a lot going on
• 9:59
  and so I had some time over the holidays um
• 10:03
  just really think about that
• 10:04
  and I think I was creeping into burnout
• 10:05
  but I also didn't
• 10:09
  there wasn't clarity on where I really
• 10:13
  where I wanted to spend my time and my growth
• 10:17
  yes for me
• 10:18
  my role what we do here
• 10:20
  Capital Coast
• 10:21
  all that stuff yes
• 10:24
  there's also another piece of me
• 10:27
  that's not capital to coast it
• 10:30
  it is about capital to coast
• 10:31
  it's about agents it's about community
• 10:34
  and really finding that time
• 10:35
  to be able to explore that part of it
• 10:38
  but there just isn't enough time right now
• 10:40
  because we're in growth mode
• 10:41
  yeah and so when I just feel a lack of clarity of
• 10:45
  as long as I have you know
• 10:48
  we're gonna go back everyone's like
• 10:49
  what's your why and for me
• 10:50
  it's like I have to have the why
• 10:51
  it's just it I have to believe in it
• 10:53
  mm hmm and if that's the right word
• 10:56
  and I have to want to be a part
• 10:58
  feel like I'm a part of it
• 11:00
  yeah I don't have to be in charge of it
• 11:02
  I don't have to be a leader of it
• 11:03
  just a part of it yeah
• 11:05
  and um
• 11:07
  so I'm really trying to
• 11:08
  when I feel that if I'm doing too many things
• 11:12
  or trying to put myself out there'cause I find myself
• 11:15
  if I put myself out there and doing too many things
• 11:17
  when am I feeling burnt out
• 11:18
  when I'm not cause I can do a lot and I
• 11:21
  I will always do a lot it's just
• 11:23
  who is how I'm wired
• 11:24
  I don't know how to not to do a lot
• 11:26
  yeah and I'm in a season of a life where I can
• 11:28
  because I don't have big little kids at home
• 11:30
  and a husband who's supportive
• 11:31
  and just you know um
• 11:34
  I don't know but I've really been thinking about
• 11:35
  not cause I'm in it but just
• 11:37
  it's helping me to
• 11:38
  to not get into it again and just it again
• 11:40
  and just
• 11:42
  that's kind of
• 11:42
  I think what I've been thinking about a lot with the
• 11:44
  with the burnout cause I think we can say it
• 11:48
  but then I don't wanna get there again
• 11:51
  I don't either and I
• 11:52
  a couple years ago yeah
• 11:53
  I went through a real phase of
• 11:55
  just being really burnt out
• 11:57
  and I would have feared that I wasn't gonna be able
• 11:59
  to get out of it and I think commonly
• 12:01
  we don't realize it till we're like
• 12:03
  right in the middle of I mean hell
• 12:05
  it feels like almost like a mental breakdown
• 12:07
  like it feels super heavy
• 12:10
  um
• 12:11
  I mean there was a lot of heavy stuff with
• 12:14
  not just Capital Coast
• 12:16
  but some adjacent things last year too
• 12:18
  that was just weighing on personal professional
• 12:21
  all things right
• 12:22
  so um
• 12:24
  but I agree with you on the clarity piece
• 12:27
  because I feel like when we got super clear on
• 12:33
  we're going independent
• 12:35
  and
• 12:38
  I think me working with my coach has helped me a lot
• 12:41
  he's been instrumental
• 12:42
  which I just rescheduled with him
• 12:45
  so this is very important
• 12:48
  but he has helped me identify
• 12:51
  the things that are really important
• 12:52
  and helped give clarity
• 12:55
  and I think through clarity helps develop a plan
• 12:59
  you know to kind of move forward
• 13:00
  so I agree with you
• 13:01
  there's an energy shift there when you feel like
• 13:04
  well maybe we could do this
• 13:06
  maybe we could do that
• 13:07
  that indecision piece with any of it is
• 13:10
  and you bringing up somebody with your coach
• 13:13
  who he's like a third party
• 13:15
  yes right
• 13:16
  like so what I love about that for you
• 13:18
  is that he's third party cause the other part of
• 13:21
  when I also know that I'm feeling burnt out
• 13:24
  is when I have a lot of voices
• 13:26
  telling me what I should be doing
• 13:29
  I got a lot of that going on last year yeah
• 13:34
  coming from different places
• 13:36
  personally and professionally
• 13:38
  like this is what you should do
• 13:39
  but you're really good at this
• 13:40
  and so you go back to the imposter syndrome
• 13:43
  well they must know me better
• 13:45
  I'm like nobody knows me better than me right
• 13:47
  taking that minute to take a beat and say
• 13:50
  no one's here no one's around you
• 13:52
  you can say whatever you want to say
• 13:54
  say it out loud what do you want to do Mackenzie
• 13:57
  that's the question
• 13:58
  I journaled probably every day for a few weeks
• 14:00
  is what do you really want to do
• 14:02
  write it down no one's gonna read it
• 14:04
  yeah what do you really wanna do
• 14:06
  and I get burnt out when I hear what other people think
• 14:09
  that I should be doing
• 14:11
  the people pleaser in me wants to please them
• 14:13
  and wants to do that really
• 14:14
  really well and then I get burnt out
• 14:18
  so I don't want agents to want to please us
• 14:21
  cause I want them to want to do it for them
• 14:23
  so I'm trying to be very cognizant of that yeah
• 14:27
  I had an observation with an agent yesterday
• 14:32
  I'm trying not to stip who it is
• 14:35
  it's okay
• 14:35
  I already called out Charles in the last episode
• 14:37
  sorry Charles
• 14:38
  we love you but I met a spouse
• 14:43
  and felt a tinge of
• 14:47
  should
• 14:50
  hmm you know what I mean
• 14:52
  so you're right these external factors there too like
• 14:56
  I mean they say all the time like
• 14:57
  the five people you choose to spend your time with
• 15:00
  you know choose them wisely
• 15:02
  um and then sometimes you have friends and family
• 15:04
  which I don't think
• 15:06
  they're coming at it from a bad point of view
• 15:09
  they they love you
• 15:10
  they want to protect you
• 15:12
  and they certainly have their own perspective
• 15:14
  um but at the same time that negativity
• 15:19
  I don't know it
• 15:19
  it's it
• 15:21
  it is definitely a factor in all this
• 15:23
  right
• 15:24
  well especially when you respect and love that person
• 15:27
  who's in your is in your life
• 15:28
  and so if they're in your life
• 15:30
  and they're your top five people
• 15:31
  then you clearly will most of the time
• 15:33
  want them in there you know
• 15:35
  and so you take to heart
• 15:39
  your heart your head
• 15:40
  whatever they're saying and you
• 15:42
  you internalize that and that then
• 15:44
  becomes a basis of decisions that you make
• 15:47
  yeah so you're making decisions for somebody else
• 15:49
  not you
• 15:50
  cause something that you know
• 15:52
  my therapist yes
• 15:53
  I have a therapist for seven years
• 15:55
  everyone's very happy that I have a therapist
• 15:58
  that's a good thing it's a good thing
• 15:59
  so that's my third party person right
• 16:02
  um but talking about
• 16:04
  you know talking with her
• 16:05
  and just talking about just these expectations that are
• 16:09
  that are put on us and
• 16:10
  cause she recognized the burnout before I even did
• 16:13
  mm hmm she was like
• 16:15
  she was like you're just doing too much
• 16:16
  like why always do too much
• 16:17
  so why why is this any different
• 16:19
  yeah this is just
• 16:20
  this is where I am this is
• 16:22
  it's never but it's
• 16:24
  it was what the things were that were the too much
• 16:27
  like the it was the stacking it
• 16:28
  but you know
• 16:29
  I don't know cause I can't
• 16:30
  we're not that close yet
• 16:31
  to give you all my dirty laundry
• 16:33
  but we'll get there maybe episode 700
• 16:37
  that's what I was talking about exactly
• 16:38
  let me tell you let me tell you my real vibe check
• 16:41
  anyway I digress
• 16:43
  but going back to to that burnout
• 16:45
  it was where it was heavy
• 16:48
  big decisions big things
• 16:50
  and there was it was all
• 16:51
  they were being thrust upon you in some ways
• 16:53
  correct and I really could not weed out
• 16:56
  what was the right thing
• 16:57
  I could not answer the question
• 16:58
  the more I ask myself the question
• 16:59
  what do you really want
• 17:00
  the more frustrated I got because I couldn't answer it
• 17:02
  yeah
• 17:03
  and so that that burnout part
• 17:05
  and so again I just
• 17:08
  and I don't know
• 17:09
  that they were going back to what my therapist was
• 17:12
  reminded me and it's a great
• 17:14
  it's so she's always in the back of my head
• 17:16
  is that they're coming to you with their opinion
• 17:19
  with their baggage mm hmm
• 17:21
  and and what their life experiences are whatever
• 17:24
  correct yeah
• 17:25
  so I really the people that are closest to me
• 17:27
  they're coming to me with their
• 17:28
  opinions and what they think I should do
• 17:31
  it's from their fears yeah
• 17:32
  and so are those my same fears
• 17:35
  so that's the question I ask if I know their fear is
• 17:37
  is that my fear is that not my fear
• 17:40
  that's been very helpful
• 17:41
  so I don't get frustrated with them
• 17:42
  I don't get angry with them
• 17:44
  I just you know
• 17:45
  where do I think they're coming from
• 17:47
  and then being like yep
• 17:48
  nope that's
• 17:48
  that's not where I am so we're good
• 17:50
  so then I can easy it or not completely
• 17:52
  but yeah just say thank you and I'm gonna do this
• 17:57
  and I'm like cause what's hard for me is I say nope
• 18:00
  I'm still doing this and if it doesn't work
• 18:02
  I fail then I
• 18:03
  that's really hard for me
• 18:04
  so it's the point like
• 18:05
  thank you great idea
• 18:06
  no and I'm gonna do this
• 18:08
  and oops that didn't work
• 18:10
  you feel like you can tuck your tail a little bit
• 18:12
  correct maybe they were right right
• 18:14
  so it validates that fear
• 18:15
  but if I didn't do that and feel there
• 18:17
  that I wouldn't have done the next thing
• 18:19
  yeah 100%
• 18:20
  it's hard to see
• 18:21
  Lord don't like to fail but yeah
• 18:24
  getting better at it
• 18:26
  I don't know if that's a good thing to have
• 18:27
  but what
• 18:28
  honestly it kind of ties into some of that
• 18:30
  imposter syndrome that we've talked before too right
• 18:33
  all this fear based kind of thing as well
• 18:35
  so it all starts to tie in a little bit more
• 18:38
  so then we're bored we're burnt out
• 18:42
  so where does that broke come into all of that
• 18:46
  again it is the byproduct of both of those
• 18:49
  I think I think if you're bored
• 18:51
  you're probably not working at your highest capacity
• 18:54
  you're just you're not
• 18:56
  we get lazy when we're bored
• 18:58
  you ever been to a restaurant that was like
• 19:00
  so incredibly slammed but it was a good experience
• 19:03
  it's super efficient and then
• 19:04
  you walk into a place
• 19:05
  where there's everybody standing around
• 19:07
  you're like Jesus Christ
• 19:09
  why is this taking twice as long
• 19:11
  the service is shittier you know
• 19:13
  but that's life right
• 19:14
  that's how we all kind of operate there too
• 19:17
  so yeah
• 19:18
  getting out of that boredom piece
• 19:20
  if I feel that broke
• 19:24
  I start asking myself
• 19:25
  I think it can be a habit for people to start to
• 19:29
  then blame external factors
• 19:30
  oh god yes yes
• 19:32
  that is not me I'm perfect
• 19:34
  exactly
• 19:35
  which this whole podcast about me not being perfect
• 19:37
  so obviously I can say that
• 19:39
  yeah
• 19:41
  cause it's harder to get out of that broke feeling
• 19:43
  or am I really broke I just
• 19:46
  you know it's
• 19:48
  I'm gonna get a little woo woo on you
• 19:50
  it's just being in the moment and just
• 19:52
  I am where I am I can handle these actionable steps
• 19:56
  I can control the controllables
• 19:57
  and going into that faith of the work will come
• 20:00
  the opportunity will come
• 20:03
  it'll come right now
• 20:04
  you have to do something
• 20:05
  I'm not saying just sit there and pray and
• 20:07
  if you were that person thank god
• 20:08
  good for you cause you know just
• 20:09
  and if it works for you exactly
• 20:11
  double thank god for you exactly however
• 20:14
  so that broke piece cause then you get into that rut
• 20:18
  and then you get into blaming people
• 20:20
  market situations life is self fulfilling prophecy
• 20:26
  correct and then that's hard to get out of
• 20:29
  and that's when people think they want to make a change
• 20:30
  of a brokers
• 20:31
  that's when people think they want to do that and
• 20:33
  you know change
• 20:33
  change the logo go independent
• 20:35
  I'm just kidding that's not why we're going independent
• 20:37
  but then you want to reflect on that
• 20:39
  so you're very good
• 20:40
  when an agent came to us and talking about
• 20:42
  even if they didn't label it broke burnout
• 20:46
  what was the other one bored
• 20:48
  I already forgot to be she's bored with the topic today
• 20:52
  oh my gosh but I'm not
• 20:54
  that's so funny okay
• 20:57
  was that well
• 20:58
  what do you think a brokerage change will do for you
• 21:01
  like so getting better at asking those questions
• 21:03
  like really identifying you know
• 21:04
  or how will it be different here
• 21:06
  what were you looking for over there
• 21:08
  you know if you're interviewing
• 21:09
  well that wasn't what I thought it was gonna be
• 21:10
  what were you looking for it to be
• 21:12
  yeah you know um
• 21:13
  so I don't know
• 21:16
  I'm not bored of the topic hahaha
• 21:22
  so what about you for broke
• 21:24
  yeah I mean
• 21:25
  like
• 21:25
  there's there's very time
• 21:27
  I have had to learn
• 21:29
  how to be okay with some UPS and downs
• 21:33
  um
• 21:34
  with just the real estate industry and all the things
• 21:38
  um I think I have more faith now
• 21:40
  through experience
• 21:41
  experience that if I'm doing all the things
• 21:43
  that I'm less likely to be broke
• 21:46
  um but again
• 21:46
  I just I think broke is a byproduct of the other two
• 21:49
  so I can control my money
• 21:54
  through my mindset and my actions
• 21:57
  and try not to stay bored or burn out
• 22:00
  but it
• 22:00
  it does require to sit down and realize where you are
• 22:04
  how you're feeling why you're feeling
• 22:06
  I don't burnout is one of those things
• 22:07
  like true burnout
• 22:10
  it's not a quick fix
• 22:12
  it's not a let me just snap my finger and be out of it
• 22:15
  and it will impact your wallet if you're not careful
• 22:18
  that indecision that lack of
• 22:21
  that lack of plan that all of it direction
• 22:24
  will negatively impact your dollar every single time
• 22:27
  so talking to agents
• 22:29
  I think the part we can control is the plan
• 22:33
  and the clarity
• 22:34
  and that's the reason why we ask the questions right
• 22:36
  to kind of understand where they are
• 22:37
  and to help themselves discover where they've been
• 22:40
  where they need to go and what they need
• 22:43
  and if we can help them develop a plan
• 22:45
  that is more clear for them
• 22:48
  then typically that will generate more income also
• 22:52
  and I am a fan sometimes it
• 22:54
  sometimes you do need a little bit of change
• 22:56
  that could be a positive thing
• 22:57
  to help get you out of a little bit of burnout
• 23:02
  not to say go change everything all the time
• 23:04
  cause I think that's can be lazy too
• 23:06
  but there is a place for that
• 23:08
  if you're
• 23:09
  if you're stuck and you're stagnant and you are bored
• 23:12
  broken burn out
• 23:13
  hell you gotta do something
• 23:15
  and maybe maybe a change is really the
• 23:17
  the instigator to get that
• 23:19
  that you know
• 23:20
  momentum going in the other direction
• 23:23
  this is a good one I don't know
• 23:25
  got me all my feels
• 23:26
  I know this one's a deep one
• 23:27
  it's I again
• 23:29
  we both experienced burnout
• 23:31
  I would not wish it on anybody
• 23:32
  because you do feel a little helpless
• 23:34
  it's it's a sad
• 23:36
  it's a sad moment especially when
• 23:39
  you know we want to talk some about maybe social media
• 23:42
  and the impact that can have
• 23:43
  is when everybody else feels like your life is great
• 23:47
  and your business is good and all
• 23:49
  and you're like fuck
• 23:50
  I mean I'm
• 23:52
  I'm at home really just
• 23:53
  you know struggling with this
• 23:55
  like on like
• 23:56
  what's next where to go
• 23:57
  how to build how do I get out of this
• 23:59
  like I'm tired
• 24:00
  I'm just I'm tired I'm exhausted
• 24:03
  and so um
• 24:04
  that the social media is not helpful
• 24:06
  with that too it just
• 24:07
  I don't yeah
• 24:08
  it is not so talked about bored
• 24:14
  burn out broke
• 24:15
  did not forget so I'm not bored
• 24:18
  I will not forget this time
• 24:21
  agent's listening
• 24:23
  I would be shocked if one thing we said did not just
• 24:25
  you know have somebody think yeah
• 24:27
  because and it's okay if it hasn't
• 24:29
  but you know
• 24:30
  so
• 24:30
  what is your one thing that you would say to an agent
• 24:33
  who's listening to this episode
• 24:35
  that they could take to maybe help them
• 24:39
  if there were any of or all of the three BS
• 24:42
  so what do you think it's gonna take
• 24:45
  to get you out of the situation
• 24:47
  like for reals
• 24:49
  like I can give you one thing
• 24:51
  but it's different for everybody right
• 24:54
  is it turning off the noise
• 24:56
  is getting a plan is it change
• 24:59
  is it energy what is the fucking thing
• 25:03
  that's gonna make a difference
• 25:05
  to change your life like
• 25:07
  today or tomorrow
• 25:09
  cause living like that in burnout mode and broke
• 25:12
  I mean that's
• 25:13
  I mean I hate to even utter it
• 25:14
  all that sounds just incredibly negative
• 25:17
  so stop bitching about it
• 25:20
  stop reflecting on it all the time
• 25:22
  like for such a long period of time
• 25:23
  like Jesus Christ lady
• 25:24
  figure out something to go you know
• 25:27
  this is the tough love that Pamela gives us yes
• 25:30
  it is but sometimes
• 25:32
  maybe talking to somebody and being honest about it
• 25:34
  like I'm fortunate that you and I have
• 25:36
  very candid conversations with each other
• 25:39
  when we're feeling certain way
• 25:41
  and um
• 25:42
  if you don't have that find a coach
• 25:43
  find a therapist find somebody to talk to about it
• 25:46
  I mean it's
• 25:46
  it's true mental health absolutely
• 25:50
  and I think
• 25:50
  what I would say to anyone listening to this
• 25:53
  don't forget to like and subscribe
• 25:55
  this is some really good stuff
• 25:56
  and Deborah behind
• 25:57
  is very excited that I remember to do that
• 25:59
  see I didn't forget
• 26:00
  I'm not bored just kidding um
• 26:04
  but now I forgot what I was gonna say
• 26:06
  I did not
• 26:08
  if you're listening to this feeling
• 26:09
  one or all of them
• 26:12
  what helped me was to stop sharing how I was feeling
• 26:17
  because people just for a hot minute
• 26:20
  because people want to fix
• 26:22
  people want to help that's true too yeah
• 26:25
  so just being with my feelings or
• 26:29
  you know a long enough to first answer
• 26:32
  to first answer the question for myself
• 26:35
  because I'm a sharer I'm an over sharer
• 26:36
  you know I always wonder what other people think
• 26:39
  but not but to the detriment of that
• 26:41
  what they think should Trump what I think and want
• 26:45
  right so when I was
• 26:47
  when I went inward for a hot minute
• 26:49
  and was writing out all those questions
• 26:51
  and just kept writing and kept writing
• 26:53
  getting frustrated and getting frustrated
• 26:54
  and just kept writing and writing and writing
• 26:56
  am I encourage you to do that for any three of the
• 26:59
  the feelings that you
• 27:00
  and it's um you might not like what you
• 27:02
  what you write down and that's a whole another
• 27:05
  but I would really encourage you
• 27:06
  just to go in there for just a hot minute
• 27:08
  don't stay there
• 27:09
  cause I don't know what your brain looks like inside
• 27:12
  that ain't the history
• 27:13
  I'm not I'm not gonna say that forever
• 27:15
  but that really help if you're somebody who
• 27:17
  a lot of external factors can
• 27:20
  can um
• 27:21
  help you make decisions
• 27:23
  that maybe aren't the right ones for you
• 27:25
  yeah I think that's
• 27:26
  I think that's incredibly great advice journaling is
• 27:30
  it's helped me at different points of my life too
• 27:32
  just writing things down you're writing
• 27:34
  being honest with yourself
• 27:35
  asking some really hard questions
• 27:37
  and really being truthful with yourself
• 27:39
  a side note I was organizing my home office
• 27:42
  and a lot of my old journals came out and I was like
• 27:47
  heaven forbid something should happen to me and you
• 27:51
  Mike like the top five people closest to you like
• 27:54
  oh my word
• 27:56
  like different journals in different parts of my life
• 27:58
  I sometimes I just wanna like alright
• 28:00
  I wrote that out and then get rid of it
• 28:02
  so some I've kept back but I was just like
• 28:05
  Lord have mercy it's just been fascinating
• 28:07
  so part of me is like
• 28:08
  I think it might be time to purge the journals
• 28:11
  I don't know oh god
• 28:13
  there's nothing like like better
• 28:15
  I'd confess but I don't know
• 28:17
  I always think I always think about that exactly
• 28:19
  I was just like I don't know
• 28:21
  but food for thought I might be no one
• 28:24
  go to my dumpster at my calendar
• 28:25
  grab my journals learn all my things
• 28:27
  but I might be purging
• 28:31
  my journals because I got some crazy thoughts in there
• 28:34
  hahaha
• 28:35
  Pam it is time for our weekly vibe check
• 28:40
  and mine is
• 28:41
  is not cheeky or saucy
• 28:42
  I feel like my last few vibe checks have been like
• 28:45
  this is my place to tell you how I'm really feeling
• 28:48
  I have my vibe check was last night
• 28:52
  we happened to have our past client
• 28:54
  our client appreciation event
• 28:56
  we did it at a baseball during balls
• 28:59
  we live in Raleigh North Carolina
• 29:00
  whoever are listening to this and man
• 29:05
  we've got some incredible agents on our team
• 29:07
  we do we do and
• 29:10
  what fun talking to our clients in a space
• 29:14
  just that was incredible
• 29:16
  I just had a sense of just gratitude
• 29:18
  driving home from the baseball game last night
• 29:21
  of the we talked about life with the agents on our team
• 29:25
  last night we didn't talk about real estate or I didn't
• 29:28
  it was just about cause they brought their kids
• 29:31
  or they didn't have their kids there or what I
• 29:33
  it was just we got cute kids on our team
• 29:35
  by the way I mean
• 29:36
  we do produce some gorgeous children
• 29:39
  so we got to meet their children
• 29:40
  so I got to watch agents as moms
• 29:44
  which can tell you a lot too
• 29:46
  sure can and then just hopping to the different um
• 29:50
  the clients were able to come last night
• 29:52
  I'm just talking with them
• 29:53
  and they were just so grateful and thankful
• 29:55
  and
• 29:56
  I don't know my vibe is just
• 29:58
  we talk about we're doing this for the community
• 30:00
  but I am so incredibly proud of who
• 30:04
  and looking at talking about social media being
• 30:07
  you know can be a negative place
• 30:08
  but watching agents on our team
• 30:11
  post about how proud they are to be on our team
• 30:14
  is what I saw last night
• 30:16
  I don't know heard that
• 30:17
  and also some of the clients too going
• 30:19
  you guys do this for your
• 30:20
  and that felt really good too
• 30:22
  cause it felt exceptional
• 30:23
  felt different and yeah
• 30:25
  I think it does project
• 30:27
  kind of the vibe we wanna have with
• 30:29
  we might be broke after it
• 30:31
  but yeah
• 30:31
  I haven't seen the last Bill on that
• 30:33
  we'll see
• 30:34
  totally kidding it was worth it
• 30:35
  it was totally worth it whatever it was
• 30:38
  I don't know I just had a moment again
• 30:39
  you know I'm
• 30:40
  I'm very I'm not good at sitting what we've created
• 30:45
  I'm always looking for the next best thing
• 30:47
  not the next best thing okay
• 30:48
  what's the next thing you know
• 30:50
  I'm not good at sitting in what we've accomplished
• 30:52
  right and the weather I
• 30:55
  we could not have had that
• 30:56
  it was the one day of the last 12 days
• 30:59
  that was like
• 30:59
  not 800 degrees and there was a breeze
• 31:01
  it was perfect it was a perfect sky
• 31:04
  it was gorgeous sunset but my vibe check is
• 31:07
  and then very quickly this morning
• 31:09
  my vibe check changed but we got corrected with
• 31:12
  we got corrected very quickly
• 31:15
  with the current transaction
• 31:18
  but driving home saying nope
• 31:20
  absolutely not let me just take in a moment
• 31:22
  sit in that moment and
• 31:24
  and just overall yeah
• 31:26
  we have an amazing group of people around us
• 31:28
  that have chosen to align with us
• 31:30
  either to help us buy or sell or
• 31:32
  or to to
• 31:33
  to build their business with us
• 31:34
  and so I love that that's my vibe
• 31:37
  I love the vibe and mine is adjacent um
• 31:42
  unfortunately it's good from bad
• 31:45
  so
• 31:47
  um we've had
• 31:48
  again a couple transactions
• 31:50
  been a little little dicey
• 31:52
  but that's a great word
• 31:54
  but we you know
• 31:55
  one in particular closed this week
• 31:57
  and it's it was delayed
• 31:59
  and there was just a lot going on
• 32:01
  and to see how an agent
• 32:06
  Jessica I'm just gonna say it
• 32:09
  I love to watch her growth
• 32:11
  and how she has really stepped into like
• 32:14
  such a beautiful place of
• 32:16
  talk about just pure leadership right
• 32:18
  of how to remain calm like
• 32:20
  I just the amount of growth I've seen in her um
• 32:24
  and then how the agents have handled it in like
• 32:26
  such a professional way even when things have not been
• 32:30
  necessarily positive um
• 32:33
  and I think we should take ownership of like
• 32:35
  I think that's a a direct reflection of
• 32:37
  kind of
• 32:38
  how we want to present our company and ourselves
• 32:41
  and um so two moments of
• 32:45
  of pride um
• 32:46
  this week too
• 32:48
  maybe started off on a negative that we had the the
• 32:52
  the transaction we had to deal with to begin with
• 32:54
  but that's how you learn
• 32:56
  that's how you grow through some sometimes tough spots
• 33:00
  you learn what you're made of
• 33:01
  and Jessica's amazing
• 33:04
  well I mean
• 33:05
  a lot of our team is amazing
• 33:06
  but just calling her out this week has just been
• 33:10
  it's been a lot she's
• 33:11
  she's done a great job
• 33:12
  can I share with you
• 33:13
  where I think that you've grown a little bit
• 33:15
  from my perspective oh
• 33:16
  and okay
• 33:18
  no it just made me
• 33:21
  because you have called yourself
• 33:22
  I'm not calling her this she
• 33:23
  you called yourself self described
• 33:24
  you know I have to do it myself
• 33:26
  giving up control yeah
• 33:28
  control driver yes
• 33:29
  you're all you are all of those things
• 33:33
  whether it's I don't know how it's feeling
• 33:35
  I don't know if it feels good for you or not
• 33:38
  you are letting us do those things
• 33:41
  and not feeling that you have to do it
• 33:44
  yes hahaha
• 33:47
  I told you I didn't know how it was making you feel
• 33:49
  no I am
• 33:51
  cause I think people feel like I've done
• 33:55
  like I'm a control freak for a certain reason
• 33:58
  and I think it's
• 34:00
  I'm a control freak for a different reason
• 34:03
  like it's not that
• 34:05
  I don't feel like other people
• 34:06
  are capable of doing the job better than me
• 34:10
  I guess I've always felt like
• 34:11
  I'm definitely not the right person
• 34:14
  a good portion of a lot of this stuff
• 34:17
  but I think just due to my personality
• 34:21
  like I just I don't want to ask
• 34:24
  or put something on someone else to do things
• 34:27
  until I feel like they want the ownership
• 34:30
  to take it on themselves I'd rather just
• 34:33
  I'd rather just not add the burden to them
• 34:37
  hm
• 34:41
  so watching Jessica kind of
• 34:44
  I mean cause I definitely in the beginning was like
• 34:46
  holy shit this could be a whole real show
• 34:50
  and so I monitored it and then watched her
• 34:53
  and she took the reins she wanted ownership of that
• 34:58
  and so I'm like who I'm
• 35:01
  I'm only gonna muck it up to kind of get in the middle
• 35:04
  so take it girl you got this
• 35:07
  go she's shown the amount of confidence
• 35:10
  that she's had in herself
• 35:11
  that allowed me to go fuck it
• 35:14
  get out she's got it
• 35:16
  she'll reach out to me if she doesn't anytime
• 35:17
  100% 100%
• 35:20
  I like that yeah
• 35:22
  me too OK
• 35:23
  cause I will say it does feel good
• 35:24
  I'm like she's
• 35:25
  she's got it and she not only does she got it
• 35:29
  she wanted it
• 35:31
  and she's proud of herself
• 35:33
  yes yes OK
• 35:35
  alright you ready
• 35:35
  for a little bit of rapid fire questions no
• 35:40
  go
• 35:42
  yeah for some reason
• 35:43
  I mean I've got my glasses on
• 35:44
  I got my necklace you feel like you're like
• 35:46
  I'm ready
• 35:46
  just to throw this out there and see what you're like
• 35:48
  I know cause I don't know the answers
• 35:50
  the answers are getting a little nervous
• 35:51
  I think they're good okay
• 35:52
  good questions okay
• 35:54
  um what's the fastest way to lose momentum
• 35:59
  wow I'm right
• 36:01
  that's good I have answers
• 36:03
  I just what's
• 36:04
  the fastest way to lose momentum
• 36:06
  is to get distracted by external forces
• 36:10
  I think that's a great answer
• 36:12
  that's a good one yeah
• 36:13
  it's not what
• 36:14
  one down four to go
• 36:18
  that's really good
• 36:20
  what creates burnout fastest in real estate
• 36:25
  listening to other people's voices before your own
• 36:29
  okay
• 36:29
  I'm seeing some common things here
• 36:32
  this one had a note here of lack of boundaries
• 36:35
  which is very similar to what you just said
• 36:39
  but that just made me think that's a
• 36:40
  that's a more general concept there too
• 36:44
  of just lack of boundaries in life
• 36:47
  like what people are saying time
• 36:51
  or
• 36:54
  that other people's
• 36:57
  mmm hmm
• 36:58
  this is becoming more rapid fire
• 37:00
  about getting on my getting on my feels but
• 37:05
  the boundaries
• 37:06
  of what they're dealing with and going through
• 37:09
  is more important than
• 37:10
  maybe what I needed to do in that time and space
• 37:13
  yeah I don't know right yeah
• 37:15
  and then I go to that burnout
• 37:16
  but yes
• 37:19
  what's one thing agents avoid too much
• 37:23
  and this one let's get it
• 37:25
  what's one thing agents avoid too much
• 37:30
  just doing the damn thing
• 37:31
  yeah whatever that thing is
• 37:34
  we everyone knows what it is
• 37:37
  yeah we all do
• 37:38
  it's eating the frog whatever that frog is for you
• 37:40
  but you know what you gotta do you just gotta do it
• 37:45
  the note here too
• 37:46
  and I love this you will too
• 37:49
  having real conversations
• 37:52
  hmm
• 37:54
  and the amount of bullshit conversations
• 37:58
  people have with themselves
• 37:59
  I think like
• 38:00
  they really truly
• 38:01
  all of this stuff is just not sitting down enough
• 38:04
  normally processing how you're feeling
• 38:07
  why you're feeling what's the deep
• 38:09
  dark stuff going on with you that's holding you back
• 38:13
  yeah real conversations with clients
• 38:16
  all of it again
• 38:17
  I think it is a byproduct of just social media
• 38:21
  curating this perfect version of the world
• 38:24
  that's just not perfect not existent
• 38:30
  what's a sign an agent is bored
• 38:36
  lack of engagement hmm
• 38:38
  mm hmm
• 38:40
  and whatever
• 38:42
  that's good too
• 38:43
  mm hmm just engagement
• 38:45
  mm hmm yeah
• 38:46
  we can usually tell something's off
• 38:49
  you stop showing up to meetings
• 38:51
  we just see you a little bit less
• 38:52
  it's a little bit of a disconnect there
• 38:54
  yeah so maybe they're bored
• 38:56
  or they're feeling something else
• 38:58
  you know sometimes
• 38:59
  and I try not to make the Assumption
• 39:00
  I used to I know
• 39:01
  assume
• 39:02
  and sometimes it just like yeah
• 39:03
  I'm really going through a spell right now
• 39:06
  and being that space to
• 39:09
  to let them go through that spell
• 39:10
  but not too long yeah
• 39:11
  thank you for asking the question right
• 39:13
  what's going on what's up
• 39:14
  yep my Spidey sense goes off
• 39:17
  I'm feeling something
• 39:19
  what's the best reset when business builds off
• 39:24
  to go back to my last 90 days
• 39:25
  to see what all my accomplishments are more again
• 39:29
  I've done more than I think
• 39:30
  that I give myself credit for
• 39:31
  almost always yeah
• 39:33
  and then if I don't
• 39:34
  that's when I know that I'm burnt out
• 39:35
  because that I procrastinated
• 39:36
  I haven't done anything right
• 39:37
  going back full circle but when I feel off
• 39:41
  I go I have a board at home um
• 39:43
  I've got three separate goals for the year
• 39:45
  and you can say I'm behind in everything
• 39:49
  but I go back to my board and I like hmm
• 39:52
  you're just behind in one
• 39:53
  you're actually ahead in this one right
• 39:56
  and so I I have to remind myself of the accomplishments
• 40:00
  it's a positive reinforcement
• 40:02
  well it is
• 40:03
  but it's that evidence going back
• 40:05
  it's not just me blowing smoke up my own ass
• 40:07
  it's no
• 40:08
  I've already
• 40:08
  I have already closed these amount of deals
• 40:11
  we have grown the team to this
• 40:13
  and this is what you know
• 40:16
  so yeah
• 40:17
  that's great hundred percent
• 40:19
  the final note here just says
• 40:21
  go back to basics hmm
• 40:23
  which I think is a good one too
• 40:25
  but exactly to your point
• 40:27
  going back to what's worked in the past
• 40:29
  the evidence what it's shown
• 40:31
  goes back to clarity hundred percent
• 40:33
  the basics yeah
• 40:34
  you say all the time we are making this too difficult
• 40:38
  we make things more harder than they need to be
• 40:42
  and so we do that
• 40:44
  alright Pam
• 40:45
  we've had this one on the
• 40:46
  in the docket for a while
• 40:47
  this the broke
• 40:48
  the burnout yeah
• 40:50
  and bored
• 40:53
  hahaha
• 40:55
  I do not know I'm bored
• 40:59
  she's never bored so it just never comes to mind
• 41:02
  exactly
• 41:04
  um
• 41:05
  so thank you for this this one got
• 41:07
  I don't know deeper than I thought it was going to be
• 41:10
  well I think it might have been the reason
• 41:11
  why we were holding off on it a little bit too
• 41:15
  it's like those are three
• 41:16
  like really deep topics to kind of pull together
• 41:20
  in some ways yeah
• 41:22
  so hopefully Pam and I aren't the only ones
• 41:25
  and the agent that we spoke to feeling bored
• 41:27
  broke or burnt out so if this resonated with you
• 41:31
  if you're looking to hear all the genius things
• 41:35
  that Pam and I have to to say and to think
• 41:37
  we would love for you to subscribe like this
• 41:40
  and put in the comments
• 41:41
  what do you want us to talk about
• 41:43
  we're just coming from what
• 41:44
  our life experiences as moms
• 41:46
  as entrepreneurs
• 41:48
  as real estate agents and so if you
• 41:50
  that's something that you want us to talk about
• 41:52
  cause clearly we pretty much will talk about
• 41:54
  and share anything pretty much
• 41:56
  I don't think there's really much that's off topic
• 41:58
  but I would love to hear you know
• 42:00
  just some things that people are grappling with
• 42:02
  and so we can just put our spin on it and
• 42:05
  continue to learn as we go absolutely
• 42:07
  so join us for our next Real Talk Real Agents episode
• 42:11
  see you on the next one