Latest / How To Love Yourself No Matter What / How To Become The Woman You Secretly Want To Be

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How To Become The Woman You Secretly Want To Be · How To Love Yourself No Matter What

• 0:00
  Hey,
• 0:00
  I'm
• 0:01
  Amanda
• 0:01
  Hess.
• 0:02
  I'm
• 0:02
  a
• 0:02
  certified
• 0:02
  life
• 0:03
  coach.
• 0:03
  But
• 0:04
  what
• 0:04
  you
• 0:04
  need
• 0:04
  to
• 0:04
  know
• 0:04
  is
• 0:05
  I'm
• 0:05
  a
• 0:05
  sensitive
• 0:06
  woman
• 0:06
  just
• 0:06
  like
• 0:07
  you,
• 0:07
  and
• 0:07
  I'm
• 0:08
  going
• 0:08
  to
• 0:08
  help
• 0:08
  you
• 0:09
  understand
• 0:09
  yourself
• 0:10
  better
• 0:10
  so
• 0:10
  that
• 0:11
  you
• 0:11
  can
• 0:11
  approach
• 0:11
  your
• 0:12
  life
• 0:12
  differently
• 0:13
  and
• 0:13
  feel
• 0:14
  really
• 0:15
  good
• 0:15
  about
• 0:15
  it.
• 0:16
  Let's
• 0:16
  go.
• 0:17
  Today,
• 0:17
  let's
• 0:17
  talk
• 0:18
  about
• 0:18
  identity.
• 0:19
  Ultimately,
• 0:20
  when
• 0:21
  we
• 0:21
  start
• 0:21
  talking
• 0:21
  about
• 0:22
  somebody's
• 0:22
  identity,
• 0:23
  how
• 0:24
  they
• 0:25
  are
• 0:25
  in
• 0:25
  the
• 0:25
  world,
• 0:25
  how
• 0:26
  they're
• 0:26
  seen,
• 0:27
  the
• 0:27
  way
• 0:27
  that
• 0:27
  other
• 0:28
  people
• 0:28
  see
• 0:28
  them,
• 0:28
  the
• 0:28
  way
• 0:29
  that
• 0:29
  they
• 0:29
  see
• 0:29
  themselves,
• 0:30
  I
• 0:30
  think
• 0:31
  that
• 0:31
  there
• 0:32
  comes
• 0:32
  this
• 0:33
  time
• 0:34
  where
• 0:35
  you
• 0:35
  ultimately
• 0:36
  realize
• 0:37
  that
• 0:37
  you
• 0:37
  are
• 0:37
  what
• 0:38
  you
• 0:38
  think
• 0:38
  you
• 0:38
  are.
• 0:39
  That
• 0:39
  it's
• 0:40
  not
• 0:40
  about
• 0:41
  how
• 0:41
  other
• 0:41
  people
• 0:42
  see
• 0:42
  you,
• 0:43
  it's
• 0:43
  about
• 0:43
  how
• 0:44
  you
• 0:45
  see
• 0:45
  yourself.
• 0:46
  And
• 0:46
  I
• 0:46
  think
• 0:47
  that
• 0:47
  a
• 0:47
  lot
• 0:47
  of
• 0:47
  people
• 0:47
  listening
• 0:48
  to
• 0:48
  this
• 0:48
  podcast
• 0:49
  probably
• 0:49
  already
• 0:50
  know
• 0:50
  this.
• 0:50
  I'm
• 0:50
  not
• 0:51
  blowing
• 0:51
  your
• 0:52
  mind,
• 0:53
  but
• 0:53
  I
• 0:53
  do
• 0:53
  wanna
• 0:54
  share
• 0:54
  something
• 0:54
  with
• 0:54
  you
• 0:55
  today.
• 0:55
  It's
• 0:55
  an
• 0:56
  analogy
• 0:56
  that
• 0:57
  I
• 0:57
  think
• 0:57
  could
• 0:58
  really
• 0:58
  help
• 0:59
  break
• 1:00
  away
• 1:01
  from
• 1:01
  maybe
• 1:01
  the
• 1:02
  identity
• 1:02
  that
• 1:03
  you
• 1:03
  don't
• 1:03
  want
• 1:04
  to
• 1:04
  have
• 1:04
  and
• 1:04
  break
• 1:05
  into
• 1:05
  the
• 1:05
  identity
• 1:06
  that
• 1:06
  you
• 1:06
  do
• 1:06
  want.
• 1:07
  Because
• 1:07
  what
• 1:08
  I
• 1:08
  see
• 1:08
  holding
• 1:09
  most
• 1:09
  people
• 1:09
  back
• 1:10
  isn't
• 1:11
  that
• 1:11
  they
• 1:11
  don't
• 1:11
  know
• 1:12
  what
• 1:12
  they
• 1:13
  should
• 1:13
  be
• 1:13
  thinking,
• 1:13
  how
• 1:14
  they
• 1:14
  should
• 1:14
  be
• 1:14
  showing
• 1:15
  up,
• 1:15
  how
• 1:15
  they
• 1:15
  should
• 1:15
  be
• 1:16
  being.
• 1:16
  I
• 1:16
  think
• 1:16
  that
• 1:17
  a
• 1:17
  lot
• 1:18
  of
• 1:18
  times
• 1:18
  we
• 1:18
  actually
• 1:19
  do
• 1:19
  understand
• 1:20
  that.
• 1:20
  And
• 1:21
  I
• 1:21
  think
• 1:21
  for
• 1:21
  those
• 1:21
  of
• 1:21
  us
• 1:22
  that
• 1:22
  have
• 1:23
  sensitive
• 1:24
  nervous
• 1:24
  systems,
• 1:24
  for
• 1:25
  those
• 1:25
  of
• 1:25
  us
• 1:25
  that
• 1:26
  are
• 1:27
  emotionally
• 1:27
  sensitive,
• 1:28
  for
• 1:28
  those
• 1:28
  of
• 1:28
  us
• 1:29
  that
• 1:29
  have
• 1:29
  experienced
• 1:30
  pain,
• 1:30
  have
• 1:31
  experienced
• 1:31
  trauma,
• 1:32
  have
• 1:33
  to
• 1:34
  a
• 1:34
  certain
• 1:34
  extent,
• 1:34
  been
• 1:35
  smacked
• 1:35
  down
• 1:36
  when
• 1:37
  we
• 1:37
  are,
• 1:38
  I'll
• 1:38
  put
• 1:38
  in
• 1:38
  air
• 1:38
  quotes,
• 1:39
  too
• 1:39
  big
• 1:39
  for
• 1:39
  our
• 1:40
  breaches,
• 1:40
  for
• 1:40
  those
• 1:40
  of
• 1:41
  us
• 1:41
  that
• 1:42
  have
• 1:43
  wanted
• 1:44
  to
• 1:44
  be
• 1:44
  more
• 1:45
  bigger,
• 1:45
  different,
• 1:46
  have
• 1:46
  a
• 1:47
  bigger
• 1:47
  life,
• 1:47
  have
• 1:47
  a
• 1:48
  bigger
• 1:48
  experience,
• 1:49
  have
• 1:50
  more
• 1:50
  joy,
• 1:51
  more
• 1:51
  passion,
• 1:52
  more
• 1:52
  pleasure,
• 1:52
  more
• 1:53
  fun.
• 1:53
  For
• 1:54
  those
• 1:54
  of
• 1:54
  us
• 1:54
  that
• 1:55
  have
• 1:55
  wanted
• 1:56
  that
• 1:56
  at
• 1:56
  some
• 1:56
  point
• 1:57
  in
• 1:57
  our
• 1:57
  life,
• 1:57
  and
• 1:57
  maybe
• 1:58
  you're
• 1:58
  at
• 1:59
  a
• 1:59
  stage
• 1:59
  in
• 1:59
  your
• 1:59
  life
• 1:59
  where
• 2:00
  that
• 2:01
  seems
• 2:01
  so
• 2:01
  far
• 2:02
  away
• 2:02
  you
• 2:02
  can't
• 2:02
  even
• 2:03
  envision
• 2:03
  it.
• 2:03
  But
• 2:04
  nonetheless,
• 2:04
  I
• 2:05
  think
• 2:05
  that
• 2:05
  there
• 2:06
  is
• 2:06
  a
• 2:07
  desire
• 2:07
  for
• 2:08
  that
• 2:08
  in
• 2:09
  everyone.
• 2:10
  And
• 2:11
  I
• 2:11
  was
• 2:11
  really
• 2:12
  considering
• 2:13
  my
• 2:13
  skating
• 2:14
  experience
• 2:14
  recently.
• 2:15
  I
• 2:16
  was
• 2:16
  skating
• 2:17
  just
• 2:18
  this
• 2:18
  past
• 2:18
  week
• 2:19
  with
• 2:20
  a
• 2:20
  bunch
• 2:20
  of
• 2:21
  our
• 2:21
  higher
• 2:21
  level
• 2:21
  skaters.
• 2:22
  Okay?
• 2:23
  And
• 2:24
  because
• 2:24
  I'm
• 2:24
  skating
• 2:25
  with
• 2:25
  these
• 2:25
  higher
• 2:25
  level
• 2:26
  skaters,
• 2:27
  the
• 2:27
  skating
• 2:27
  is
• 2:27
  faster.
• 2:28
  And
• 2:28
  if
• 2:28
  you
• 2:29
  don't
• 2:29
  know,
• 2:29
  I'm
• 2:29
  a
• 2:29
  figure
• 2:29
  skater.
• 2:30
  Okay?
• 2:30
  So
• 2:30
  for
• 2:30
  those
• 2:31
  of
• 2:31
  you
• 2:31
  that
• 2:31
  have
• 2:31
  never
• 2:32
  listened
• 2:32
  to
• 2:32
  this
• 2:32
  podcast
• 2:33
  before,
• 2:33
  I
• 2:34
  am
• 2:34
  an
• 2:34
  adult
• 2:34
  figure
• 2:35
  skater.
• 2:36
  And
• 2:36
  so
• 2:37
  when
• 2:37
  I
• 2:37
  skate,
• 2:37
  I
• 2:38
  skate
• 2:38
  with
• 2:38
  all
• 2:38
  different
• 2:38
  levels
• 2:39
  of
• 2:39
  skaters.
• 2:40
  No,
• 2:40
  I
• 2:40
  don't
• 2:40
  land
• 2:40
  doubles
• 2:41
  or
• 2:41
  triples.
• 2:41
  I'm
• 2:42
  not
• 2:42
  that
• 2:42
  good.
• 2:43
  But
• 2:43
  I
• 2:44
  do
• 2:44
  really
• 2:44
  enjoy
• 2:45
  it.
• 2:45
  And
• 2:45
  it's
• 2:45
  something
• 2:46
  that
• 2:46
  I
• 2:47
  really
• 2:47
  love
• 2:47
  putting
• 2:48
  my
• 2:48
  heart
• 2:48
  and
• 2:48
  soul
• 2:48
  into.
• 2:49
  And
• 2:50
  when
• 2:50
  I
• 2:51
  Am
• 2:51
  skating
• 2:51
  with
• 2:52
  higher
• 2:52
  level
• 2:52
  skaters.
• 2:54
  There's
• 2:54
  something
• 2:54
  that
• 2:54
  happens
• 2:55
  in
• 2:55
  my
• 2:55
  brain.
• 2:56
  What
• 2:56
  I
• 2:56
  noticed
• 2:57
  was
• 2:57
  this
• 2:57
  week
• 2:57
  I
• 2:57
  stepped
• 2:58
  on
• 2:58
  the
• 2:58
  ice
• 2:58
  and
• 2:58
  we
• 2:59
  were
• 2:59
  doing
• 2:59
  backspins.
• 3:00
  And
• 3:00
  a
• 3:01
  backspin
• 3:01
  just
• 3:02
  means
• 3:02
  you're
• 3:02
  spinning
• 3:03
  on
• 3:03
  a
• 3:03
  backwards
• 3:04
  outside
• 3:04
  edge
• 3:05
  inside
• 3:05
  of
• 3:05
  a
• 3:06
  spin,
• 3:06
  okay.
• 3:07
  And
• 3:07
  you're
• 3:07
  on
• 3:07
  one
• 3:08
  foot.
• 3:08
  And
• 3:08
  it's
• 3:09
  a
• 3:09
  spin
• 3:09
  that
• 3:10
  we
• 3:10
  didn't
• 3:10
  practice
• 3:11
  when
• 3:11
  I
• 3:11
  was
• 3:11
  a
• 3:11
  kid.
• 3:12
  So
• 3:12
  I
• 3:12
  am
• 3:12
  very
• 3:12
  lucky.
• 3:13
  I'm
• 3:13
  very
• 3:14
  blessed.
• 3:14
  I
• 3:15
  would
• 3:15
  say
• 3:15
  that
• 3:16
  I
• 3:16
  figure
• 3:17
  skated
• 3:17
  for
• 3:18
  many
• 3:18
  years.
• 3:19
  I
• 3:19
  started
• 3:19
  figure
• 3:20
  skating
• 3:20
  when
• 3:20
  I
• 3:20
  was
• 3:20
  a
• 3:20
  small
• 3:21
  kid
• 3:21
  and
• 3:21
  I
• 3:22
  figure
• 3:22
  skated
• 3:22
  up
• 3:22
  until
• 3:22
  the
• 3:23
  point
• 3:23
  I
• 3:23
  was
• 3:23
  about
• 3:23
  13,
• 3:24
  14
• 3:25
  when
• 3:25
  we
• 3:25
  moved
• 3:26
  away
• 3:26
  into
• 3:27
  the
• 3:27
  country.
• 3:27
  And
• 3:27
  my
• 3:28
  parents
• 3:28
  wanted
• 3:29
  me
• 3:29
  to
• 3:29
  take
• 3:29
  up
• 3:29
  riding
• 3:30
  instead
• 3:30
  of
• 3:30
  skating
• 3:31
  as
• 3:31
  my
• 3:31
  sport.
• 3:32
  So
• 3:32
  I
• 3:32
  did
• 3:32
  and
• 3:33
  that
• 3:33
  they
• 3:33
  didn't
• 3:33
  force
• 3:33
  me.
• 3:34
  But
• 3:34
  kinda,
• 3:35
  I'll
• 3:35
  say
• 3:35
  kinda,
• 3:36
  kind
• 3:36
  of
• 3:36
  both.
• 3:36
  But
• 3:37
  at
• 3:37
  the
• 3:37
  end
• 3:37
  of
• 3:38
  the
• 3:38
  day,
• 3:38
  I
• 3:38
  wasn't
• 3:38
  enjoying
• 3:39
  my
• 3:39
  single
• 3:39
  skating
• 3:40
  anyways.
• 3:40
  But
• 3:41
  I
• 3:41
  digress.
• 3:42
  None
• 3:42
  of
• 3:42
  this
• 3:42
  matters
• 3:43
  in
• 3:43
  the
• 3:43
  story.
• 3:43
  There
• 3:44
  are
• 3:44
  things
• 3:44
  that
• 3:44
  I
• 3:45
  learned
• 3:45
  as
• 3:45
  a
• 3:45
  figure
• 3:45
  skater,
• 3:46
  as
• 3:46
  a
• 3:46
  kid,
• 3:47
  that
• 3:47
  I
• 3:47
  have
• 3:47
  muscle
• 3:48
  memory
• 3:48
  for
• 3:48
  as
• 3:49
  an
• 3:49
  adult.
• 3:50
  And
• 3:50
  so
• 3:51
  when
• 3:51
  I
• 3:51
  came
• 3:51
  back
• 3:51
  to
• 3:52
  skating
• 3:52
  after
• 3:52
  a
• 3:53
  30
• 3:53
  year
• 3:53
  break,
• 3:54
  I
• 3:54
  was
• 3:55
  able
• 3:55
  to
• 3:55
  do
• 3:56
  things
• 3:56
  that
• 3:56
  I
• 3:57
  couldn't
• 3:57
  even
• 3:57
  tell
• 3:58
  you
• 3:58
  how
• 3:58
  to
• 3:58
  do
• 3:58
  them
• 3:59
  verbally.
• 3:59
  My
• 4:00
  body
• 4:00
  just
• 4:01
  knew
• 4:01
  how.
• 4:02
  So
• 4:02
  for
• 4:02
  instance,
• 4:02
  my
• 4:03
  body
• 4:03
  knew
• 4:03
  how
• 4:03
  to
• 4:03
  spin.
• 4:04
  Now,
• 4:04
  that
• 4:05
  being
• 4:05
  said,
• 4:05
  I've
• 4:05
  been
• 4:06
  skating
• 4:06
  now
• 4:06
  for
• 4:06
  six
• 4:07
  years
• 4:07
  and
• 4:07
  my
• 4:07
  spins
• 4:08
  have
• 4:08
  gotten
• 4:08
  infinitely
• 4:09
  better.
• 4:10
  But
• 4:10
  back
• 4:11
  spins
• 4:11
  were
• 4:11
  not
• 4:12
  something
• 4:12
  that
• 4:12
  we
• 4:12
  really
• 4:13
  focused
• 4:13
  on
• 4:13
  when
• 4:13
  I
• 4:14
  was
• 4:14
  a
• 4:14
  skater,
• 4:14
  not
• 4:15
  at
• 4:15
  my
• 4:15
  level.
• 4:16
  And
• 4:16
  so
• 4:16
  I
• 4:17
  really
• 4:17
  had
• 4:17
  to
• 4:17
  learn
• 4:18
  how
• 4:18
  to
• 4:18
  enter
• 4:18
  and
• 4:19
  do
• 4:19
  a
• 4:19
  backspin.
• 4:20
  Usually
• 4:20
  what
• 4:20
  we
• 4:20
  do
• 4:21
  is
• 4:21
  we're
• 4:21
  doing
• 4:22
  a
• 4:22
  forward
• 4:22
  inside
• 4:23
  spin,
• 4:23
  which
• 4:23
  is
• 4:24
  something
• 4:24
  that
• 4:24
  I
• 4:24
  know
• 4:24
  how
• 4:25
  to
• 4:25
  do
• 4:25
  because
• 4:25
  that's
• 4:26
  something
• 4:26
  that
• 4:26
  I
• 4:26
  have
• 4:26
  muscle
• 4:27
  memory
• 4:27
  for.
• 4:28
  A
• 4:28
  backspin.
• 4:29
  A
• 4:29
  spin
• 4:30
  on
• 4:30
  my
• 4:30
  back,
• 4:30
  outside
• 4:31
  edge
• 4:31
  is
• 4:32
  something
• 4:32
  that
• 4:33
  I
• 4:33
  had
• 4:33
  to
• 4:34
  pick
• 4:34
  up
• 4:34
  and
• 4:34
  learn.
• 4:34
  And
• 4:35
  I
• 4:35
  have
• 4:35
  been
• 4:35
  at
• 4:35
  it
• 4:36
  for
• 4:36
  six
• 4:36
  years.
• 4:37
  So
• 4:37
  fast
• 4:38
  forward,
• 4:38
  I
• 4:38
  have
• 4:39
  been
• 4:39
  trying
• 4:40
  to.
• 4:40
  In
• 4:40
  that
• 4:40
  spin,
• 4:41
  you
• 4:41
  want
• 4:41
  to
• 4:41
  cross
• 4:42
  your
• 4:42
  free
• 4:43
  leg
• 4:43
  over
• 4:43
  your
• 4:44
  other
• 4:44
  leg
• 4:44
  and
• 4:45
  basically
• 4:45
  put
• 4:45
  it
• 4:46
  down
• 4:46
  so
• 4:46
  that
• 4:46
  it's
• 4:47
  perpendicular
• 4:48
  to
• 4:48
  your
• 4:48
  other
• 4:48
  foot.
• 4:49
  You're
• 4:49
  essentially
• 4:50
  crossing
• 4:50
  your
• 4:50
  legs
• 4:50
  in
• 4:51
  the
• 4:51
  spin.
• 4:51
  Now
• 4:51
  it
• 4:51
  feels
• 4:52
  pretty
• 4:52
  prone
• 4:53
  if
• 4:53
  your
• 4:53
  balance
• 4:54
  isn't
• 4:54
  great,
• 4:54
  because
• 4:54
  if
• 4:54
  you
• 4:55
  fall
• 4:55
  with
• 4:55
  your
• 4:55
  legs
• 4:56
  crossed,
• 4:56
  I
• 4:56
  think
• 4:56
  you
• 4:57
  guys
• 4:57
  can
• 4:57
  do
• 4:57
  the
• 4:57
  math
• 4:57
  and
• 4:57
  understand
• 4:58
  what
• 4:58
  would
• 4:58
  happen.
• 4:59
  Now
• 5:00
  when
• 5:00
  I
• 5:00
  stepped
• 5:00
  out
• 5:00
  on
• 5:00
  the
• 5:00
  ice
• 5:01
  and
• 5:01
  I
• 5:01
  was
• 5:01
  skating
• 5:01
  with
• 5:01
  these
• 5:02
  skaters
• 5:03
  recently
• 5:04
  on
• 5:04
  this
• 5:04
  session,
• 5:05
  these
• 5:05
  higher
• 5:05
  level
• 5:05
  skaters,
• 5:06
  my
• 5:07
  coach
• 5:07
  was
• 5:07
  just
• 5:07
  like,
• 5:07
  go
• 5:08
  do
• 5:08
  a
• 5:08
  backspin
• 5:09
  and
• 5:09
  we're
• 5:09
  gonna
• 5:09
  do
• 5:09
  this
• 5:09
  backspin
• 5:10
  drill.
• 5:10
  And
• 5:10
  we
• 5:10
  do
• 5:11
  backspin
• 5:11
  drills
• 5:11
  and
• 5:11
  figure
• 5:12
  skating
• 5:12
  to
• 5:12
  help
• 5:12
  you
• 5:12
  for
• 5:13
  landing
• 5:13
  jumps,
• 5:13
  okay?
• 5:14
  Because
• 5:14
  you
• 5:15
  essentially
• 5:16
  land
• 5:16
  a
• 5:16
  spinning
• 5:17
  jump
• 5:17
  outside
• 5:17
  out
• 5:18
  of
• 5:18
  a
• 5:18
  backspin,
• 5:18
  right?
• 5:19
  So
• 5:19
  we're
• 5:20
  doing
• 5:20
  the
• 5:20
  spins,
• 5:21
  and
• 5:21
  I'm
• 5:22
  crossing
• 5:22
  my
• 5:22
  leg
• 5:23
  every
• 5:23
  single
• 5:23
  time.
• 5:24
  Now,
• 5:24
  this
• 5:24
  is
• 5:24
  something
• 5:24
  that
• 5:24
  I've
• 5:25
  struggled
• 5:25
  with
• 5:25
  for
• 5:26
  six
• 5:26
  years,
• 5:26
  and
• 5:27
  it
• 5:27
  was
• 5:27
  something
• 5:27
  that
• 5:27
  I
• 5:28
  worked
• 5:28
  on
• 5:28
  the
• 5:29
  beginning
• 5:29
  of
• 5:29
  this
• 5:29
  year.
• 5:30
  I
• 5:30
  was
• 5:30
  working
• 5:30
  on
• 5:30
  it.
• 5:30
  It
• 5:31
  was
• 5:31
  spinning
• 5:31
  pretty
• 5:31
  slow.
• 5:32
  I
• 5:33
  was
• 5:33
  forcing
• 5:34
  myself
• 5:34
  to
• 5:34
  pull
• 5:35
  that
• 5:35
  leg
• 5:35
  over
• 5:35
  because
• 5:36
  there's
• 5:36
  no
• 5:36
  part
• 5:37
  of
• 5:37
  my
• 5:37
  body
• 5:37
  that
• 5:37
  wanted
• 5:38
  to
• 5:38
  do
• 5:38
  it.
• 5:38
  But
• 5:39
  what's
• 5:39
  interesting
• 5:40
  about
• 5:40
  it
• 5:40
  is
• 5:40
  I
• 5:41
  was
• 5:41
  with
• 5:41
  all
• 5:41
  of
• 5:41
  these
• 5:41
  skaters
• 5:42
  that
• 5:42
  know
• 5:43
  how
• 5:43
  to
• 5:43
  do
• 5:43
  it.
• 5:43
  And
• 5:44
  my
• 5:44
  coach
• 5:44
  wasn't
• 5:44
  like,
• 5:45
  go,
• 5:45
  try
• 5:45
  a
• 5:45
  backspin.
• 5:46
  She's
• 5:46
  like,
• 5:46
  go,
• 5:46
  do
• 5:46
  a
• 5:47
  backspin
• 5:47
  and
• 5:47
  do
• 5:47
  this
• 5:48
  drill.
• 5:48
  And
• 5:48
  as
• 5:49
  my
• 5:49
  brain
• 5:49
  watched
• 5:50
  all
• 5:50
  these
• 5:50
  other
• 5:51
  skaters
• 5:51
  do
• 5:52
  that,
• 5:53
  I
• 5:53
  went
• 5:53
  and
• 5:54
  did
• 5:54
  that,
• 5:54
  and
• 5:54
  I
• 5:55
  did
• 5:55
  it
• 5:55
  again
• 5:55
  and
• 5:55
  again
• 5:56
  and
• 5:56
  again.
• 5:57
  And
• 5:57
  every
• 5:57
  single
• 5:57
  time,
• 5:58
  I
• 5:58
  crossed
• 5:58
  my
• 5:58
  leg
• 5:58
  over,
• 5:58
  and
• 5:59
  it
• 5:59
  wasn't
• 5:59
  even
• 5:59
  a
• 5:59
  question.
• 6:00
  And
• 6:00
  think
• 6:01
  the
• 6:01
  psychology
• 6:01
  of
• 6:02
  this
• 6:02
  is
• 6:02
  worth
• 6:03
  understanding
• 6:03
  for
• 6:04
  you.
• 6:05
  So
• 6:05
  why
• 6:05
  this
• 6:06
  is
• 6:06
  relevant
• 6:06
  for
• 6:07
  you
• 6:07
  is
• 6:08
  because
• 6:08
  of
• 6:08
  how
• 6:08
  our
• 6:09
  brains
• 6:09
  work
• 6:10
  and
• 6:10
  the
• 6:11
  idea
• 6:11
  of
• 6:11
  possibility.
• 6:12
  So
• 6:13
  when
• 6:13
  we're
• 6:13
  talking
• 6:13
  about
• 6:13
  our
• 6:14
  identity
• 6:15
  and
• 6:15
  how
• 6:15
  we
• 6:16
  identify
• 6:16
  ourselves,
• 6:17
  how
• 6:17
  we
• 6:17
  see
• 6:17
  ourselves
• 6:18
  in
• 6:18
  the
• 6:18
  world,
• 6:18
  the
• 6:18
  kind
• 6:19
  of
• 6:19
  person
• 6:19
  that
• 6:19
  we
• 6:19
  think
• 6:20
  we
• 6:20
  are,
• 6:20
  the
• 6:20
  results
• 6:21
  that
• 6:21
  we
• 6:21
  think
• 6:21
  we
• 6:22
  can
• 6:22
  genuinely
• 6:22
  go
• 6:22
  out
• 6:23
  in
• 6:23
  the
• 6:23
  world
• 6:23
  and
• 6:23
  create,
• 6:24
  when
• 6:24
  we
• 6:25
  are
• 6:25
  looking
• 6:25
  at
• 6:25
  that,
• 6:26
  we
• 6:26
  are
• 6:27
  oftentimes
• 6:28
  boxed
• 6:29
  in.
• 6:29
  Okay?
• 6:30
  We
• 6:30
  are
• 6:30
  boxed
• 6:31
  in
• 6:31
  by
• 6:32
  what
• 6:32
  other
• 6:32
  people
• 6:32
  think
• 6:33
  about
• 6:33
  us.
• 6:33
  We
• 6:34
  are
• 6:34
  boxed
• 6:34
  in
• 6:34
  by
• 6:35
  our
• 6:35
  experience.
• 6:36
  We
• 6:36
  are
• 6:36
  boxed
• 6:37
  in
• 6:37
  by
• 6:38
  what
• 6:38
  limitations
• 6:39
  we
• 6:40
  believe
• 6:40
  are
• 6:40
  in
• 6:40
  place.
• 6:41
  And
• 6:41
  these
• 6:41
  are
• 6:41
  all
• 6:41
  our
• 6:42
  thoughts.
• 6:42
  These
• 6:43
  are
• 6:43
  all
• 6:43
  our
• 6:43
  thoughts.
• 6:44
  All
• 6:44
  of
• 6:44
  them.
• 6:45
  None
• 6:45
  of
• 6:45
  them
• 6:45
  are
• 6:46
  real.
• 6:46
  None
• 6:46
  of
• 6:46
  them
• 6:47
  are
• 6:47
  necessarily
• 6:47
  true
• 6:48
  because
• 6:48
  they're
• 6:49
  thoughts,
• 6:49
  right?
• 6:50
  Even
• 6:50
  just
• 6:51
  the
• 6:51
  expression,
• 6:52
  I
• 6:52
  can't
• 6:53
  do
• 6:53
  that
• 6:54
  is
• 6:54
  a
• 6:54
  thought.
• 6:55
  Thought.
• 6:55
  It
• 6:55
  is
• 6:56
  not
• 6:56
  a
• 6:57
  fact.
• 6:57
  And
• 6:58
  we
• 6:58
  could
• 6:58
  argue
• 6:59
  back
• 6:59
  and
• 6:59
  forth
• 6:59
  about
• 6:59
  this
• 7:00
  all
• 7:00
  day
• 7:00
  long,
• 7:00
  right?
• 7:00
  You
• 7:01
  could
• 7:01
  say
• 7:01
  to
• 7:01
  me,
• 7:01
  no,
• 7:01
  Amanda,
• 7:02
  it
• 7:02
  is
• 7:02
  a
• 7:02
  fact,
• 7:02
  because
• 7:02
  I
• 7:03
  can't
• 7:03
  do
• 7:03
  it.
• 7:03
  And
• 7:04
  I'm
• 7:04
  just
• 7:04
  going
• 7:04
  to
• 7:04
  let
• 7:05
  you
• 7:05
  know
• 7:05
  that
• 7:06
  as
• 7:06
  long
• 7:06
  as
• 7:06
  you
• 7:06
  believe
• 7:06
  that
• 7:07
  you
• 7:07
  can't
• 7:07
  do
• 7:07
  it,
• 7:07
  you
• 7:07
  won't
• 7:08
  do
• 7:08
  it.
• 7:08
  You
• 7:09
  won't
• 7:09
  be
• 7:09
  able
• 7:09
  to
• 7:09
  do
• 7:09
  it.
• 7:09
  As
• 7:10
  long
• 7:10
  as
• 7:10
  you
• 7:10
  truly
• 7:11
  believe
• 7:11
  the
• 7:12
  thought,
• 7:12
  I
• 7:13
  cannot
• 7:13
  do
• 7:13
  that,
• 7:14
  you
• 7:14
  will
• 7:14
  never
• 7:14
  be
• 7:15
  able
• 7:15
  to
• 7:15
  do
• 7:15
  it
• 7:15
  because
• 7:16
  you
• 7:16
  have
• 7:17
  essentially
• 7:18
  put
• 7:18
  yourself
• 7:19
  in
• 7:19
  the
• 7:19
  box.
• 7:20
  And
• 7:20
  this
• 7:20
  is
• 7:21
  really
• 7:22
  essential
• 7:23
  when
• 7:23
  it
• 7:23
  comes
• 7:23
  to
• 7:24
  understanding
• 7:25
  how
• 7:25
  we
• 7:26
  cultivate
• 7:26
  the
• 7:27
  identity
• 7:27
  that
• 7:27
  we
• 7:27
  want
• 7:28
  to
• 7:28
  have
• 7:28
  in
• 7:28
  the
• 7:28
  world.
• 7:29
  So
• 7:29
  when
• 7:30
  I
• 7:30
  was
• 7:30
  doing
• 7:30
  this
• 7:30
  spin,
• 7:31
  what
• 7:31
  was
• 7:32
  happening
• 7:32
  psychologically
• 7:33
  is
• 7:33
  my
• 7:33
  brain,
• 7:34
  not
• 7:35
  logically.
• 7:36
  It
• 7:36
  didn't
• 7:36
  logically
• 7:37
  register,
• 7:37
  like,
• 7:38
  well,
• 7:38
  if
• 7:38
  that
• 7:38
  person
• 7:38
  can
• 7:38
  do
• 7:39
  it
• 7:39
  and
• 7:39
  if
• 7:39
  that
• 7:39
  person
• 7:39
  can
• 7:39
  do
• 7:40
  it
• 7:40
  and
• 7:40
  if
• 7:40
  everybody
• 7:40
  on
• 7:40
  the
• 7:41
  ice
• 7:41
  is
• 7:41
  doing
• 7:41
  it,
• 7:41
  you
• 7:41
  can
• 7:42
  probably
• 7:42
  do
• 7:42
  it.
• 7:42
  It
• 7:42
  didn't
• 7:43
  do
• 7:43
  that.
• 7:43
  It
• 7:43
  just
• 7:44
  stopped
• 7:45
  arguing
• 7:45
  with
• 7:45
  me.
• 7:45
  And
• 7:46
  it
• 7:46
  was
• 7:46
  like,
• 7:46
  okay,
• 7:46
  let's
• 7:46
  go
• 7:46
  do
• 7:47
  it.
• 7:47
  And
• 7:48
  I
• 7:48
  did
• 7:48
  it
• 7:48
  and
• 7:49
  I
• 7:49
  did
• 7:49
  it
• 7:49
  again
• 7:49
  and
• 7:49
  again
• 7:50
  and
• 7:50
  again.
• 7:50
  And
• 7:50
  my
• 7:50
  coach
• 7:50
  looked
• 7:51
  at
• 7:51
  me
• 7:51
  and
• 7:51
  she's
• 7:51
  like,
• 7:51
  oh
• 7:51
  my
• 7:51
  God,
• 7:52
  Amanda,
• 7:52
  you're
• 7:53
  crossing
• 7:53
  your
• 7:53
  leg
• 7:53
  over
• 7:53
  every
• 7:54
  time
• 7:54
  for
• 7:54
  your
• 7:54
  backspin.
• 7:54
  That's
• 7:55
  incredible.
• 7:55
  You're
• 7:55
  doing
• 7:55
  an
• 7:55
  awesome
• 7:56
  job.
• 7:56
  You
• 7:56
  know
• 7:56
  what's
• 7:56
  so
• 7:57
  interesting
• 7:58
  is
• 7:58
  that
• 7:58
  it's
• 7:59
  because
• 7:59
  it
• 7:59
  was
• 7:59
  never
• 8:00
  in
• 8:00
  question.
• 8:01
  I
• 8:01
  just
• 8:01
  took
• 8:02
  on
• 8:02
  that
• 8:02
  identity
• 8:03
  without
• 8:03
  even
• 8:03
  really
• 8:04
  actively
• 8:04
  thinking
• 8:05
  about
• 8:05
  it.
• 8:05
  And
• 8:05
  I
• 8:05
  was
• 8:06
  really
• 8:06
  considering
• 8:07
  why
• 8:07
  that's
• 8:08
  important.
• 8:08
  And
• 8:09
  I
• 8:09
  noticed
• 8:10
  this
• 8:10
  in
• 8:11
  so
• 8:11
  many
• 8:11
  different
• 8:11
  places
• 8:12
  in
• 8:12
  the
• 8:12
  world.
• 8:12
  So
• 8:13
  where
• 8:13
  I
• 8:13
  really
• 8:14
  notice
• 8:14
  it
• 8:14
  is
• 8:14
  in
• 8:14
  youth
• 8:15
  sports,
• 8:15
  right?
• 8:16
  So
• 8:16
  my
• 8:16
  kids
• 8:16
  have
• 8:17
  done
• 8:17
  youth
• 8:17
  sports
• 8:17
  for
• 8:18
  many
• 8:18
  years.
• 8:18
  I
• 8:19
  have
• 8:19
  a
• 8:19
  nice
• 8:19
  19
• 8:19
  year
• 8:20
  old,
• 8:20
  I
• 8:20
  have
• 8:20
  a
• 8:20
  15
• 8:20
  year
• 8:21
  old,
• 8:21
  almost
• 8:21
  16
• 8:21
  year
• 8:22
  old.
• 8:22
  And
• 8:23
  when
• 8:23
  my
• 8:23
  boys,
• 8:24
  both
• 8:24
  my
• 8:25
  boys
• 8:25
  did
• 8:25
  hockey,
• 8:25
  which
• 8:26
  is
• 8:26
  very
• 8:26
  common
• 8:26
  in
• 8:27
  Canada,
• 8:27
  they
• 8:28
  would
• 8:28
  get
• 8:28
  evaluated
• 8:29
  when
• 8:29
  they
• 8:29
  were
• 8:29
  like
• 8:30
  five
• 8:30
  years
• 8:30
  old,
• 8:30
  six
• 8:31
  years
• 8:31
  old,
• 8:31
  seven
• 8:31
  years
• 8:32
  old,
• 8:32
  and
• 8:32
  they
• 8:32
  would
• 8:32
  be
• 8:32
  placed
• 8:33
  on
• 8:33
  a
• 8:33
  team
• 8:33
  so
• 8:34
  that
• 8:34
  they
• 8:34
  could
• 8:34
  play
• 8:34
  with
• 8:35
  teammates
• 8:35
  that
• 8:36
  were
• 8:36
  the
• 8:36
  same
• 8:36
  level
• 8:36
  as
• 8:37
  them,
• 8:37
  so
• 8:37
  that
• 8:38
  they
• 8:38
  could
• 8:38
  make
• 8:38
  it,
• 8:38
  quote,
• 8:38
  unquote
• 8:39
  fair.
• 8:40
  And
• 8:40
  I
• 8:40
  was
• 8:40
  thinking
• 8:41
  about
• 8:41
  this
• 8:41
  the
• 8:41
  other
• 8:41
  day,
• 8:42
  thinking
• 8:42
  how
• 8:43
  neither
• 8:43
  of
• 8:44
  my
• 8:44
  kids
• 8:44
  really
• 8:45
  moved
• 8:45
  up
• 8:46
  in
• 8:46
  their
• 8:46
  hockey
• 8:47
  skills
• 8:47
  ever.
• 8:47
  They
• 8:48
  never
• 8:48
  actually
• 8:49
  got
• 8:50
  that
• 8:50
  much
• 8:50
  better.
• 8:51
  They
• 8:51
  always
• 8:51
  stayed
• 8:52
  in
• 8:52
  their
• 8:52
  group
• 8:52
  and
• 8:52
  moved
• 8:53
  along.
• 8:53
  Is
• 8:54
  that
• 8:54
  because
• 8:54
  their
• 8:54
  athletic
• 8:55
  ability
• 8:55
  was
• 8:56
  capped
• 8:56
  when
• 8:56
  they
• 8:57
  were
• 8:57
  7
• 8:57
  years
• 8:57
  old?
• 8:57
  Of
• 8:58
  course
• 8:58
  not.
• 8:59
  That's
• 8:59
  insane.
• 9:00
  But
• 9:00
  what
• 9:01
  it
• 9:01
  does
• 9:01
  show
• 9:01
  me
• 9:02
  is
• 9:02
  they
• 9:02
  were
• 9:02
  never
• 9:02
  surrounded
• 9:03
  by
• 9:03
  kids
• 9:04
  that
• 9:04
  were
• 9:04
  reaching
• 9:05
  for
• 9:05
  more,
• 9:06
  that
• 9:06
  were
• 9:06
  able
• 9:07
  to
• 9:07
  do
• 9:07
  better,
• 9:07
  that
• 9:08
  were
• 9:09
  showing
• 9:09
  them
• 9:09
  that
• 9:10
  more
• 9:10
  was
• 9:10
  possible
• 9:10
  than
• 9:11
  what
• 9:11
  they
• 9:11
  have.
• 9:12
  And
• 9:12
  back
• 9:12
  then
• 9:13
  I
• 9:13
  didn't
• 9:13
  have
• 9:13
  coaching
• 9:14
  around
• 9:14
  me.
• 9:14
  That
• 9:15
  wasn't
• 9:15
  something
• 9:15
  that
• 9:16
  I
• 9:16
  understood.
• 9:17
  I
• 9:17
  mean,
• 9:17
  I
• 9:17
  would
• 9:18
  read
• 9:18
  self
• 9:18
  help
• 9:18
  books
• 9:19
  and
• 9:19
  I
• 9:19
  had
• 9:19
  a
• 9:19
  general
• 9:19
  understanding,
• 9:20
  but
• 9:20
  in
• 9:21
  no
• 9:21
  way
• 9:21
  would
• 9:21
  I
• 9:21
  have
• 9:22
  been
• 9:22
  able
• 9:22
  to
• 9:22
  connect
• 9:22
  the
• 9:22
  dots
• 9:22
  like
• 9:23
  this.
• 9:23
  The
• 9:24
  truth
• 9:24
  is
• 9:24
  that
• 9:24
  our
• 9:24
  identity
• 9:25
  is
• 9:25
  always
• 9:25
  flexible.
• 9:26
  We
• 9:27
  can
• 9:27
  always
• 9:28
  redefine
• 9:28
  it
• 9:29
  if
• 9:29
  we
• 9:29
  want
• 9:30
  to.
• 9:30
  But
• 9:31
  what
• 9:31
  it
• 9:31
  does
• 9:32
  require
• 9:33
  is
• 9:33
  possibility.
• 9:34
  And
• 9:34
  one
• 9:35
  of
• 9:35
  the
• 9:35
  things
• 9:35
  that
• 9:36
  I
• 9:36
  do
• 9:36
  in
• 9:36
  my
• 9:37
  coaching
• 9:37
  practice,
• 9:38
  that
• 9:38
  I
• 9:38
  do
• 9:38
  with
• 9:38
  my
• 9:38
  clients,
• 9:39
  that
• 9:39
  I
• 9:39
  also
• 9:40
  see
• 9:40
  being
• 9:40
  coached
• 9:41
  on
• 9:41
  the
• 9:41
  ice
• 9:41
  when
• 9:41
  I'm
• 9:41
  figure
• 9:42
  skating
• 9:42
  and
• 9:42
  in
• 9:43
  so
• 9:43
  many
• 9:43
  different
• 9:43
  areas
• 9:44
  of
• 9:44
  my
• 9:44
  life
• 9:44
  and
• 9:44
  my
• 9:45
  kids
• 9:45
  lives,
• 9:45
  is
• 9:46
  that
• 9:46
  in
• 9:47
  order
• 9:47
  to
• 9:47
  form
• 9:48
  the
• 9:48
  identity
• 9:48
  that
• 9:49
  you
• 9:49
  want,
• 9:49
  you
• 9:49
  do
• 9:49
  need
• 9:50
  to
• 9:50
  surround
• 9:50
  yourself
• 9:51
  with
• 9:52
  more
• 9:52
  possibility.
• 9:54
  You
• 9:54
  do
• 9:54
  need
• 9:54
  to
• 9:55
  surround
• 9:55
  yourself
• 9:56
  with
• 9:56
  people
• 9:56
  that
• 9:57
  are
• 9:57
  saying
• 9:57
  yes
• 9:58
  to
• 9:58
  the
• 9:58
  things
• 9:58
  that
• 9:58
  interest
• 9:59
  you.
• 9:59
  You
• 10:00
  do
• 10:00
  need
• 10:00
  to
• 10:00
  Surround
• 10:01
  yourself
• 10:02
  with
• 10:02
  mentors,
• 10:03
  coaches,
• 10:05
  peers
• 10:06
  who
• 10:06
  are
• 10:07
  going
• 10:07
  for
• 10:07
  the
• 10:08
  things
• 10:08
  that
• 10:08
  you
• 10:08
  want
• 10:08
  to
• 10:09
  go
• 10:09
  for.
• 10:09
  We
• 10:09
  need
• 10:09
  to
• 10:10
  open
• 10:10
  up
• 10:10
  the
• 10:10
  possibility
• 10:11
  bank
• 10:12
  inside
• 10:12
  of
• 10:12
  your
• 10:12
  brain.
• 10:14
  Yes.
• 10:14
  I
• 10:14
  was
• 10:15
  just
• 10:15
  actually
• 10:15
  coaching
• 10:16
  a
• 10:16
  client
• 10:16
  today,
• 10:17
  and
• 10:17
  we
• 10:17
  were
• 10:17
  talking
• 10:18
  about
• 10:18
  how
• 10:19
  she
• 10:19
  has
• 10:19
  this
• 10:20
  latent
• 10:20
  anxiety
• 10:21
  that
• 10:21
  she
• 10:22
  seems
• 10:22
  to
• 10:22
  pull
• 10:23
  along
• 10:23
  with
• 10:23
  her,
• 10:24
  and
• 10:25
  what
• 10:25
  it
• 10:25
  looks
• 10:25
  like
• 10:26
  is
• 10:26
  just
• 10:26
  the
• 10:27
  emotional
• 10:27
  load
• 10:28
  of
• 10:28
  her
• 10:28
  life.
• 10:28
  There
• 10:28
  are
• 10:29
  significant
• 10:30
  circumstantial
• 10:31
  things
• 10:31
  that
• 10:31
  weigh
• 10:32
  heavy
• 10:32
  for
• 10:32
  all
• 10:33
  of
• 10:33
  us
• 10:33
  and
• 10:33
  at
• 10:34
  different
• 10:34
  stages
• 10:34
  of
• 10:35
  our
• 10:35
  lives,
• 10:35
  that
• 10:35
  will
• 10:35
  ebb
• 10:36
  and
• 10:36
  flow,
• 10:36
  that
• 10:36
  will
• 10:36
  go
• 10:36
  up
• 10:36
  and
• 10:37
  down,
• 10:37
  but
• 10:38
  for
• 10:38
  her,
• 10:38
  there
• 10:38
  were
• 10:39
  a
• 10:39
  few.
• 10:40
  And
• 10:40
  while
• 10:40
  we've
• 10:41
  done
• 10:41
  a
• 10:41
  lot
• 10:41
  of
• 10:41
  amazing
• 10:42
  work
• 10:42
  together,
• 10:43
  getting
• 10:44
  her
• 10:44
  to
• 10:44
  be
• 10:44
  able
• 10:44
  to
• 10:45
  feel
• 10:45
  very
• 10:45
  much
• 10:46
  like
• 10:46
  she
• 10:47
  knows
• 10:47
  how
• 10:48
  to
• 10:48
  reduce
• 10:49
  the
• 10:50
  anxiety,
• 10:50
  and
• 10:51
  she
• 10:51
  knows
• 10:51
  how
• 10:52
  to
• 10:52
  move
• 10:52
  through
• 10:52
  the
• 10:53
  emotion,
• 10:53
  and
• 10:53
  she
• 10:53
  knows
• 10:54
  how
• 10:54
  to
• 10:54
  not
• 10:54
  be
• 10:54
  stuck
• 10:54
  in
• 10:55
  the
• 10:55
  pain
• 10:55
  of
• 10:55
  how
• 10:55
  she's
• 10:56
  feeling,
• 10:56
  which
• 10:56
  has
• 10:57
  been
• 10:57
  incredible
• 10:58
  to
• 10:58
  watch,
• 10:59
  just
• 10:59
  to
• 10:59
  see
• 10:59
  her
• 11:00
  make
• 11:00
  that
• 11:00
  progression,
• 11:01
  to
• 11:01
  be
• 11:02
  in
• 11:02
  a
• 11:02
  place
• 11:02
  where
• 11:02
  she
• 11:03
  no
• 11:03
  longer
• 11:03
  feels
• 11:04
  this
• 11:04
  intense
• 11:04
  tightness
• 11:05
  in
• 11:05
  her
• 11:05
  head
• 11:06
  that
• 11:06
  feels
• 11:06
  like
• 11:06
  it's
• 11:07
  crushing
• 11:07
  her
• 11:07
  and
• 11:07
  she
• 11:07
  doesn't
• 11:08
  know
• 11:08
  where
• 11:08
  it's
• 11:08
  coming
• 11:08
  from,
• 11:08
  and
• 11:09
  she
• 11:09
  can't
• 11:09
  get
• 11:09
  rid
• 11:09
  of
• 11:09
  it,
• 11:09
  and
• 11:10
  it's
• 11:10
  so
• 11:10
  horrible.
• 11:11
  We've
• 11:11
  truly
• 11:12
  been
• 11:12
  able
• 11:12
  to
• 11:12
  move
• 11:13
  her
• 11:13
  through
• 11:13
  that.
• 11:13
  And
• 11:13
  to
• 11:14
  me,
• 11:14
  that
• 11:14
  is
• 11:15
  the
• 11:15
  heart
• 11:15
  of
• 11:15
  the
• 11:15
  work
• 11:16
  that
• 11:16
  we
• 11:16
  do
• 11:16
  in
• 11:16
  the
• 11:16
  beginning.
• 11:17
  It's
• 11:17
  so
• 11:17
  essential.
• 11:18
  Without
• 11:18
  it,
• 11:19
  we
• 11:19
  can't
• 11:19
  move
• 11:19
  into
• 11:20
  these
• 11:20
  other
• 11:20
  areas.
• 11:21
  So
• 11:21
  if
• 11:21
  you
• 11:21
  are
• 11:21
  a
• 11:21
  person
• 11:22
  right
• 11:22
  now
• 11:22
  that
• 11:22
  is
• 11:22
  just
• 11:23
  struggling
• 11:24
  under
• 11:24
  the
• 11:24
  weight
• 11:24
  of
• 11:24
  your
• 11:24
  life,
• 11:25
  hearing
• 11:25
  this
• 11:26
  podcast
• 11:26
  might
• 11:26
  be
• 11:27
  a
• 11:27
  little
• 11:27
  triggering
• 11:28
  for
• 11:28
  you,
• 11:28
  because
• 11:28
  you're
• 11:28
  not
• 11:29
  at
• 11:29
  that
• 11:29
  place
• 11:29
  yet.
• 11:30
  What
• 11:30
  I
• 11:30
  want
• 11:30
  you
• 11:30
  to
• 11:30
  know
• 11:31
  is
• 11:31
  that
• 11:32
  you
• 11:32
  absolutely
• 11:33
  can
• 11:33
  be
• 11:33
  at
• 11:33
  this
• 11:33
  place.
• 11:34
  Some
• 11:34
  of
• 11:34
  you
• 11:34
  might
• 11:35
  be
• 11:35
  listening
• 11:35
  to
• 11:35
  this
• 11:35
  and
• 11:35
  thinking,
• 11:36
  can't
• 11:36
  I
• 11:36
  have
• 11:36
  both?
• 11:36
  And
• 11:37
  the
• 11:37
  answer
• 11:37
  is
• 11:37
  yes.
• 11:38
  But
• 11:38
  for
• 11:38
  this
• 11:39
  client,
• 11:40
  where
• 11:40
  she
• 11:40
  is
• 11:40
  now,
• 11:41
  we
• 11:41
  are
• 11:42
  looking
• 11:42
  at
• 11:42
  her
• 11:43
  brain
• 11:43
  holding
• 11:44
  this
• 11:44
  emotional
• 11:45
  load
• 11:45
  and
• 11:46
  the
• 11:46
  ways
• 11:46
  that
• 11:46
  we
• 11:47
  can
• 11:47
  get
• 11:47
  it
• 11:47
  to
• 11:47
  put
• 11:48
  it
• 11:48
  down.
• 11:49
  And
• 11:49
  one
• 11:49
  thing
• 11:49
  that
• 11:50
  I
• 11:50
  heard
• 11:51
  just
• 11:51
  the
• 11:51
  other
• 11:52
  day,
• 11:52
  I
• 11:52
  was
• 11:52
  listening
• 11:53
  to
• 11:53
  Rick
• 11:53
  Rubin
• 11:54
  talk
• 11:54
  on
• 11:55
  a
• 11:55
  podcast.
• 11:55
  And
• 11:56
  if
• 11:56
  you're
• 11:56
  unfamiliar
• 11:56
  with
• 11:57
  Rick
• 11:57
  Rubin,
• 11:57
  he's
• 11:57
  a
• 11:58
  music
• 11:58
  producer
• 11:59
  famous
• 11:59
  for
• 12:00
  bringing
• 12:00
  bands
• 12:01
  to
• 12:01
  the
• 12:01
  spotlight,
• 12:02
  like
• 12:02
  Run
• 12:02
  dmc.
• 12:03
  I've
• 12:03
  talked
• 12:03
  about
• 12:03
  him
• 12:03
  before.
• 12:04
  He
• 12:05
  was
• 12:05
  talking
• 12:05
  about
• 12:05
  how
• 12:05
  he
• 12:06
  has
• 12:06
  a
• 12:06
  lazy
• 12:07
  brain.
• 12:08
  And
• 12:08
  I
• 12:09
  thought
• 12:09
  that
• 12:09
  was
• 12:09
  so
• 12:09
  interesting.
• 12:10
  And
• 12:10
  it
• 12:10
  is
• 12:11
  true.
• 12:11
  I
• 12:12
  think
• 12:12
  of
• 12:12
  everyone.
• 12:13
  So
• 12:13
  when
• 12:14
  he's
• 12:14
  talking
• 12:14
  about
• 12:14
  having
• 12:15
  a
• 12:15
  lazy
• 12:15
  brain,
• 12:15
  what
• 12:16
  he
• 12:16
  means
• 12:16
  is
• 12:16
  that
• 12:17
  on
• 12:17
  one
• 12:17
  hand,
• 12:18
  he
• 12:19
  loves
• 12:19
  the
• 12:19
  product
• 12:20
  of
• 12:20
  what
• 12:20
  he
• 12:20
  creates
• 12:21
  through
• 12:21
  his
• 12:22
  creative
• 12:22
  ventures.
• 12:23
  Right.
• 12:23
  But
• 12:24
  on
• 12:24
  the
• 12:24
  other
• 12:24
  hand,
• 12:24
  his
• 12:25
  brain
• 12:25
  is
• 12:25
  very
• 12:25
  resistant
• 12:26
  to
• 12:26
  doing
• 12:26
  the
• 12:26
  work,
• 12:27
  to
• 12:27
  getting
• 12:27
  there.
• 12:28
  You
• 12:28
  know,
• 12:28
  the
• 12:29
  the
• 12:29
  actual
• 12:30
  production
• 12:31
  of
• 12:32
  creation
• 12:33
  is
• 12:34
  work
• 12:35
  for
• 12:35
  your
• 12:35
  brain.
• 12:36
  It's
• 12:36
  labor
• 12:36
  intensive.
• 12:37
  Your
• 12:37
  brain
• 12:38
  really
• 12:38
  doesn't
• 12:39
  want
• 12:39
  to
• 12:39
  do
• 12:39
  it,
• 12:40
  and
• 12:40
  it
• 12:41
  will
• 12:41
  give
• 12:41
  you
• 12:41
  a
• 12:41
  lot
• 12:41
  of
• 12:42
  reasons
• 12:42
  and
• 12:42
  excuses
• 12:43
  for
• 12:43
  why
• 12:44
  this
• 12:44
  is
• 12:44
  not
• 12:44
  something
• 12:44
  that
• 12:45
  it
• 12:45
  wants
• 12:45
  to
• 12:45
  do.
• 12:45
  Yes,
• 12:46
  and
• 12:47
  my
• 12:47
  brain
• 12:48
  is
• 12:48
  no
• 12:48
  different.
• 12:49
  I
• 12:49
  have
• 12:49
  the
• 12:49
  same
• 12:49
  experience
• 12:50
  inside
• 12:50
  of
• 12:51
  myself.
• 12:51
  Even
• 12:52
  when
• 12:52
  I
• 12:52
  went
• 12:52
  to
• 12:52
  record
• 12:53
  this
• 12:53
  podcast
• 12:54
  today,
• 12:54
  my
• 12:55
  brain
• 12:55
  was
• 12:55
  really
• 12:55
  grinding
• 12:56
  gears,
• 12:57
  not
• 12:57
  wanting
• 12:58
  to
• 12:58
  sit
• 12:58
  down
• 12:58
  and
• 12:59
  hit
• 12:59
  record.
• 13:00
  This
• 13:00
  is
• 13:00
  a
• 13:00
  very
• 13:01
  common
• 13:01
  experience
• 13:02
  for
• 13:03
  many
• 13:03
  people.
• 13:04
  But
• 13:05
  what
• 13:05
  you
• 13:05
  might
• 13:05
  not
• 13:05
  realize
• 13:06
  is
• 13:06
  even
• 13:06
  if
• 13:06
  you're
• 13:07
  not
• 13:07
  working
• 13:07
  in
• 13:07
  a
• 13:07
  creative
• 13:08
  space
• 13:08
  where
• 13:08
  this
• 13:09
  is
• 13:09
  a
• 13:09
  part
• 13:09
  of
• 13:09
  what
• 13:10
  you
• 13:10
  do,
• 13:10
  this
• 13:11
  is
• 13:11
  happening
• 13:11
  for
• 13:12
  you
• 13:12
  too.
• 13:12
  So
• 13:13
  for
• 13:13
  my
• 13:13
  client,
• 13:14
  what
• 13:14
  we
• 13:14
  were
• 13:15
  really
• 13:15
  talking
• 13:15
  about
• 13:16
  was
• 13:16
  your
• 13:16
  brain
• 13:17
  still
• 13:17
  needs
• 13:17
  to
• 13:17
  do
• 13:18
  hard
• 13:18
  work.
• 13:18
  And
• 13:18
  she's
• 13:19
  retired.
• 13:19
  So
• 13:19
  if
• 13:20
  you're
• 13:20
  retired
• 13:20
  listening
• 13:21
  to
• 13:21
  this
• 13:21
  podcast,
• 13:22
  this
• 13:22
  is
• 13:22
  especially
• 13:23
  for
• 13:23
  you
• 13:23
  as
• 13:23
  well.
• 13:24
  Because
• 13:24
  when
• 13:24
  we're
• 13:25
  retired,
• 13:25
  we
• 13:26
  no
• 13:26
  longer
• 13:26
  have
• 13:27
  this
• 13:27
  job
• 13:27
  that
• 13:28
  we
• 13:28
  have
• 13:28
  to
• 13:28
  go
• 13:28
  to.
• 13:29
  We
• 13:29
  don't
• 13:29
  necessarily
• 13:30
  have
• 13:30
  to
• 13:30
  do
• 13:30
  any
• 13:31
  of
• 13:31
  the
• 13:31
  hard
• 13:31
  things
• 13:31
  anymore.
• 13:32
  When
• 13:32
  we're
• 13:32
  retired,
• 13:33
  I
• 13:33
  want
• 13:34
  to
• 13:34
  make
• 13:34
  a
• 13:34
  case
• 13:34
  for
• 13:35
  we
• 13:35
  need
• 13:35
  to
• 13:35
  start
• 13:35
  getting
• 13:36
  your
• 13:36
  brain
• 13:36
  to
• 13:36
  do
• 13:36
  hard
• 13:37
  work.
• 13:37
  And
• 13:38
  for
• 13:38
  her,
• 13:38
  what
• 13:39
  we
• 13:39
  really
• 13:39
  were
• 13:39
  talking
• 13:40
  about
• 13:40
  is
• 13:41
  finding
• 13:41
  things
• 13:42
  that
• 13:42
  give
• 13:42
  her
• 13:43
  the
• 13:43
  butterflies
• 13:43
  in
• 13:43
  her
• 13:44
  stomach.
• 13:44
  Finding
• 13:45
  experiences,
• 13:47
  things
• 13:47
  she
• 13:47
  could
• 13:47
  put
• 13:48
  her
• 13:48
  brain
• 13:48
  to
• 13:48
  work
• 13:48
  on,
• 13:49
  Things
• 13:49
  that
• 13:49
  excited
• 13:50
  her,
• 13:50
  interested
• 13:51
  her,
• 13:51
  moved
• 13:52
  her.
• 13:52
  Could
• 13:53
  we
• 13:53
  find
• 13:53
  things
• 13:54
  for
• 13:54
  her
• 13:54
  to
• 13:55
  do
• 13:55
  in
• 13:55
  her
• 13:55
  life
• 13:56
  that
• 13:56
  would
• 13:56
  allow
• 13:57
  her
• 13:57
  brain
• 13:58
  to
• 13:58
  have
• 13:58
  a
• 13:58
  job
• 13:59
  to
• 13:59
  do
• 13:59
  that
• 14:00
  would
• 14:00
  be
• 14:00
  a
• 14:00
  big
• 14:00
  enough
• 14:01
  job
• 14:01
  that
• 14:02
  it
• 14:02
  could
• 14:02
  put
• 14:02
  down
• 14:03
  all
• 14:04
  of
• 14:04
  those
• 14:04
  lagging
• 14:05
  stressors
• 14:06
  that
• 14:06
  were
• 14:07
  weighing
• 14:07
  her
• 14:08
  down?
• 14:08
  And
• 14:09
  this
• 14:09
  is
• 14:10
  the
• 14:10
  practice.
• 14:11
  When
• 14:11
  we
• 14:11
  were
• 14:11
  having
• 14:12
  this
• 14:12
  conversation,
• 14:13
  she
• 14:13
  was
• 14:14
  very
• 14:14
  resistant
• 14:15
  to
• 14:15
  it
• 14:15
  and
• 14:15
  I
• 14:16
  was
• 14:16
  expecting
• 14:16
  it
• 14:17
  because
• 14:17
  her
• 14:17
  lazy
• 14:18
  brain
• 14:19
  wants
• 14:19
  to
• 14:20
  do
• 14:20
  what
• 14:20
  it's
• 14:20
  always
• 14:20
  done.
• 14:21
  Well,
• 14:21
  I
• 14:21
  do
• 14:21
  chores
• 14:21
  and
• 14:22
  I
• 14:22
  do
• 14:22
  this
• 14:22
  and
• 14:22
  I
• 14:22
  go
• 14:23
  for
• 14:23
  walks
• 14:23
  and
• 14:24
  you
• 14:24
  know,
• 14:24
  I
• 14:24
  am
• 14:25
  busy.
• 14:25
  I
• 14:25
  do
• 14:25
  a
• 14:25
  lot.
• 14:26
  And
• 14:26
  I
• 14:26
  don't
• 14:26
  disagree.
• 14:27
  She
• 14:27
  does
• 14:28
  do
• 14:28
  a
• 14:28
  lot.
• 14:28
  She
• 14:29
  is
• 14:29
  not
• 14:29
  a
• 14:29
  lazy
• 14:30
  person.
• 14:30
  This
• 14:30
  is
• 14:30
  not
• 14:31
  what
• 14:31
  I'm
• 14:31
  saying.
• 14:32
  What
• 14:32
  I
• 14:32
  am
• 14:32
  saying
• 14:33
  is
• 14:33
  that
• 14:33
  in
• 14:33
  order
• 14:34
  to
• 14:34
  find
• 14:34
  the
• 14:34
  things
• 14:34
  that
• 14:35
  are
• 14:35
  brain
• 14:35
  can
• 14:35
  focus
• 14:36
  on
• 14:36
  and
• 14:36
  really
• 14:36
  get
• 14:36
  to
• 14:37
  work
• 14:37
  on
• 14:37
  is
• 14:37
  going
• 14:37
  to
• 14:37
  be
• 14:38
  work
• 14:38
  for
• 14:38
  our
• 14:38
  brain.
• 14:38
  And
• 14:39
  our
• 14:39
  brain
• 14:39
  is
• 14:39
  set
• 14:39
  up
• 14:39
  to
• 14:40
  not
• 14:40
  want
• 14:40
  to
• 14:40
  do
• 14:40
  work.
• 14:41
  That
• 14:41
  is
• 14:42
  essentially
• 14:43
  the
• 14:43
  problem
• 14:44
  because
• 14:44
  we
• 14:44
  have
• 14:45
  to
• 14:45
  get
• 14:45
  past
• 14:46
  that
• 14:46
  friction
• 14:46
  point
• 14:47
  so
• 14:47
  that
• 14:47
  our
• 14:47
  brain
• 14:48
  starts
• 14:48
  doing
• 14:48
  some
• 14:48
  work
• 14:49
  so
• 14:49
  we
• 14:49
  can
• 14:49
  let
• 14:49
  go
• 14:50
  of
• 14:50
  the
• 14:50
  other
• 14:50
  shit
• 14:51
  and
• 14:51
  we
• 14:51
  can
• 14:52
  start
• 14:52
  really
• 14:52
  focusing
• 14:53
  on
• 14:53
  the
• 14:53
  things
• 14:53
  that
• 14:53
  bring
• 14:54
  us
• 14:54
  joy,
• 14:55
  pleasure,
• 14:55
  happiness,
• 14:56
  fulfillment.
• 14:57
  These
• 14:57
  are
• 14:58
  the
• 14:58
  things
• 14:58
  that
• 14:58
  we
• 14:58
  do
• 14:59
  need
• 14:59
  to
• 14:59
  get
• 14:59
  our
• 15:00
  brain
• 15:00
  to
• 15:00
  work
• 15:01
  to
• 15:01
  do.
• 15:02
  And
• 15:03
  it
• 15:03
  is
• 15:04
  a
• 15:04
  really
• 15:04
  interesting
• 15:05
  concept
• 15:07
  to
• 15:07
  start
• 15:08
  pulling
• 15:08
  your
• 15:08
  brain
• 15:09
  to
• 15:09
  these
• 15:09
  places.
• 15:10
  It's
• 15:10
  a
• 15:10
  very
• 15:10
  untapped
• 15:11
  resource.
• 15:12
  It's
• 15:13
  one
• 15:13
  that
• 15:13
  I
• 15:13
  have
• 15:14
  seen
• 15:14
  play
• 15:14
  out
• 15:14
  in
• 15:14
  my
• 15:15
  own
• 15:15
  life
• 15:15
  and
• 15:16
  I
• 15:16
  have
• 15:16
  helped
• 15:17
  countless
• 15:17
  clients
• 15:18
  walk
• 15:18
  through.
• 15:18
  Because
• 15:19
  at
• 15:19
  the
• 15:19
  end
• 15:20
  of
• 15:20
  the
• 15:20
  day,
• 15:21
  you
• 15:21
  want
• 15:21
  to
• 15:21
  feel
• 15:22
  less
• 15:22
  anxious,
• 15:23
  you
• 15:23
  want
• 15:23
  to
• 15:23
  feel
• 15:24
  more
• 15:24
  free,
• 15:24
  you
• 15:25
  want
• 15:25
  to
• 15:25
  feel
• 15:25
  more
• 15:26
  fulfilled,
• 15:26
  you
• 15:27
  want
• 15:27
  to
• 15:27
  feel
• 15:27
  more
• 15:28
  like
• 15:28
  you,
• 15:28
  grounded.
• 15:29
  Okay,
• 15:30
  Right.
• 15:30
  This
• 15:30
  is
• 15:30
  what
• 15:31
  you
• 15:31
  want.
• 15:31
  You
• 15:31
  want
• 15:32
  great
• 15:32
  relationships
• 15:33
  with
• 15:33
  your
• 15:34
  people
• 15:34
  in
• 15:34
  your
• 15:34
  life.
• 15:35
  You
• 15:35
  want
• 15:35
  them
• 15:35
  to
• 15:35
  not
• 15:35
  be
• 15:36
  filled
• 15:36
  with
• 15:36
  strife.
• 15:36
  You
• 15:37
  don't
• 15:37
  want
• 15:37
  to
• 15:37
  be
• 15:37
  over
• 15:37
  functioning
• 15:38
  emotionally
• 15:39
  for
• 15:39
  them.
• 15:39
  I
• 15:40
  get
• 15:40
  all
• 15:40
  of
• 15:40
  this.
• 15:41
  But
• 15:41
  we
• 15:41
  can
• 15:42
  get
• 15:42
  into
• 15:42
  this
• 15:43
  place
• 15:43
  in
• 15:43
  our
• 15:44
  life
• 15:44
  where
• 15:44
  it
• 15:45
  becomes,
• 15:46
  I
• 15:46
  guess,
• 15:46
  heavy
• 15:47
  with
• 15:47
  problems.
• 15:48
  We
• 15:48
  start
• 15:48
  adding
• 15:49
  more
• 15:49
  and
• 15:49
  more
• 15:49
  problems
• 15:50
  to
• 15:50
  the
• 15:50
  pile
• 15:50
  and
• 15:51
  to
• 15:51
  me,
• 15:51
  this
• 15:51
  is
• 15:52
  just
• 15:52
  not
• 15:53
  effective.
• 15:54
  I
• 15:54
  find
• 15:54
  that
• 15:55
  so
• 15:55
  many
• 15:55
  people
• 15:55
  come
• 15:56
  to
• 15:56
  me
• 15:56
  with
• 15:56
  so
• 15:57
  many
• 15:57
  labels.
• 15:57
  Either
• 15:58
  the
• 15:58
  labels
• 15:58
  that
• 15:58
  they
• 15:59
  have
• 15:59
  given
• 15:59
  themselves,
• 16:00
  which
• 16:01
  we
• 16:01
  do,
• 16:01
  and
• 16:02
  the
• 16:02
  labels
• 16:02
  that
• 16:02
  other
• 16:03
  people
• 16:03
  have
• 16:03
  given
• 16:03
  them
• 16:04
  and
• 16:04
  even
• 16:04
  medical
• 16:05
  diagnoses
• 16:06
  that
• 16:06
  they
• 16:07
  have
• 16:07
  been
• 16:07
  given
• 16:08
  that
• 16:08
  they
• 16:08
  are
• 16:08
  now
• 16:08
  wearing
• 16:09
  like
• 16:09
  it's
• 16:10
  an
• 16:10
  outfit
• 16:10
  that
• 16:11
  they
• 16:11
  are
• 16:11
  not
• 16:11
  allowed
• 16:11
  to
• 16:12
  take
• 16:12
  off.
• 16:12
  And
• 16:12
  I
• 16:12
  want
• 16:13
  to
• 16:13
  give
• 16:13
  you
• 16:13
  permission
• 16:14
  in
• 16:14
  this
• 16:14
  podcast
• 16:15
  to
• 16:16
  potentially
• 16:16
  take
• 16:17
  it
• 16:17
  off.
• 16:18
  Surrounding
• 16:19
  yourself
• 16:19
  with
• 16:20
  a
• 16:20
  different
• 16:21
  way
• 16:21
  of
• 16:21
  thinking,
• 16:22
  surrounding
• 16:23
  yourself
• 16:23
  with
• 16:24
  possibilities,
• 16:25
  surrounding
• 16:25
  yourself
• 16:26
  with,
• 16:27
  oh,
• 16:28
  I
• 16:28
  don't
• 16:28
  even
• 16:28
  necessarily
• 16:30
  have
• 16:30
  to
• 16:30
  necessarily
• 16:31
  believe
• 16:31
  that
• 16:32
  I
• 16:32
  can
• 16:32
  do
• 16:32
  it
• 16:32
  yet,
• 16:33
  but
• 16:33
  if
• 16:33
  I
• 16:33
  surround
• 16:33
  myself
• 16:34
  with
• 16:34
  people
• 16:34
  that
• 16:34
  are,
• 16:35
  I
• 16:35
  could
• 16:35
  get
• 16:35
  there.
• 16:36
  This
• 16:36
  is
• 16:36
  a
• 16:37
  very
• 16:37
  unique
• 16:37
  perspective
• 16:38
  and
• 16:39
  one
• 16:39
  that
• 16:39
  I
• 16:39
  have
• 16:39
  seen
• 16:40
  work
• 16:40
  over
• 16:40
  and
• 16:40
  over
• 16:41
  again.
• 16:41
  The
• 16:41
  way
• 16:41
  that
• 16:41
  it
• 16:42
  worked
• 16:42
  in
• 16:42
  my
• 16:42
  skating.
• 16:42
  I
• 16:43
  have
• 16:43
  seen
• 16:43
  work
• 16:44
  in
• 16:44
  so
• 16:45
  many
• 16:45
  different
• 16:45
  areas.
• 16:46
  I've
• 16:46
  seen
• 16:46
  it
• 16:47
  work
• 16:47
  when
• 16:47
  I
• 16:47
  started
• 16:47
  my
• 16:48
  coaching
• 16:48
  business
• 16:49
  because
• 16:49
  I
• 16:49
  didn't
• 16:50
  know
• 16:50
  any
• 16:50
  different.
• 16:51
  I
• 16:51
  just
• 16:51
  knew
• 16:52
  that
• 16:52
  I
• 16:52
  had
• 16:52
  this
• 16:53
  wonderful,
• 16:53
  amazing
• 16:54
  tool
• 16:54
  and
• 16:55
  that
• 16:55
  I
• 16:55
  needed
• 16:56
  other
• 16:56
  people
• 16:56
  to
• 16:56
  know
• 16:56
  it
• 16:57
  too
• 16:57
  because
• 16:57
  it
• 16:57
  was
• 16:58
  so
• 17:00
  massively
• 17:01
  life
• 17:01
  changing
• 17:01
  for
• 17:02
  me.
• 17:02
  And
• 17:02
  so
• 17:02
  this
• 17:03
  is
• 17:03
  something
• 17:03
  that
• 17:03
  I
• 17:03
  started
• 17:04
  putting
• 17:04
  out
• 17:04
  in
• 17:04
  the
• 17:04
  world
• 17:05
  because
• 17:05
  I
• 17:06
  was
• 17:06
  in
• 17:06
  a
• 17:07
  group
• 17:07
  of
• 17:07
  people
• 17:07
  that
• 17:08
  were
• 17:08
  doing
• 17:08
  the
• 17:08
  same
• 17:08
  thing.
• 17:09
  It
• 17:09
  just
• 17:09
  made
• 17:10
  it
• 17:10
  so
• 17:10
  possible
• 17:11
  for
• 17:11
  me
• 17:11
  and
• 17:12
  that's
• 17:12
  what
• 17:12
  coaching
• 17:13
  really
• 17:13
  did
• 17:13
  for
• 17:14
  me.
• 17:14
  That's
• 17:15
  what
• 17:15
  being
• 17:16
  around
• 17:17
  other
• 17:17
  humans
• 17:18
  that
• 17:19
  are
• 17:19
  going
• 17:19
  for
• 17:20
  the
• 17:20
  things
• 17:20
  they
• 17:20
  want
• 17:21
  will
• 17:21
  do
• 17:21
  for
• 17:21
  you.
• 17:23
  You
• 17:23
  have
• 17:23
  the
• 17:23
  ability
• 17:24
  to
• 17:24
  change
• 17:24
  your
• 17:24
  identity
• 17:25
  any
• 17:25
  way
• 17:25
  you
• 17:26
  want
• 17:26
  to
• 17:26
  change
• 17:26
  it.
• 17:27
  But
• 17:27
  there's
• 17:27
  two
• 17:28
  things
• 17:28
  that
• 17:28
  you
• 17:28
  need
• 17:28
  to
• 17:29
  understand.
• 17:29
  Number
• 17:31
  we
• 17:31
  need
• 17:31
  to
• 17:31
  be
• 17:32
  in
• 17:32
  spaces
• 17:33
  and
• 17:33
  places
• 17:34
  where
• 17:34
  people
• 17:34
  are
• 17:35
  speaking
• 17:35
  differently
• 17:36
  than
• 17:36
  how
• 17:36
  we're
• 17:36
  currently
• 17:37
  speaking.
• 17:38
  So
• 17:38
  if
• 17:39
  you
• 17:39
  are
• 17:39
  hanging
• 17:40
  around
• 17:40
  the
• 17:40
  people
• 17:41
  that
• 17:41
  are
• 17:41
  like,
• 17:41
  the
• 17:42
  world's
• 17:42
  terrible,
• 17:42
  everything's
• 17:43
  awful,
• 17:44
  nothing's
• 17:44
  going
• 17:44
  to
• 17:44
  change,
• 17:45
  this
• 17:45
  is
• 17:45
  the
• 17:45
  way
• 17:45
  it's
• 17:46
  got
• 17:46
  to
• 17:46
  be.
• 17:46
  And
• 17:46
  we
• 17:47
  spend
• 17:47
  all
• 17:47
  our
• 17:47
  time
• 17:48
  there,
• 17:48
  this
• 17:49
  is
• 17:49
  what
• 17:49
  we
• 17:49
  will
• 17:50
  create.
• 17:50
  And
• 17:51
  we
• 17:51
  will
• 17:51
  be
• 17:51
  really
• 17:52
  unaware
• 17:53
  that
• 17:53
  it's
• 17:53
  ultimately
• 17:54
  just
• 17:54
  because
• 17:54
  our
• 17:55
  brain
• 17:55
  is
• 17:55
  picking
• 17:55
  up
• 17:55
  on
• 17:56
  all
• 17:56
  of
• 17:56
  this
• 17:56
  and
• 17:56
  making
• 17:56
  it
• 17:57
  the
• 17:57
  truth.
• 17:58
  So
• 17:58
  if
• 17:58
  you
• 17:58
  want
• 17:58
  to
• 17:58
  change
• 17:58
  that,
• 17:59
  we
• 17:59
  need
• 17:59
  to
• 17:59
  change
• 18:00
  the
• 18:00
  environment
• 18:00
  with
• 18:01
  which
• 18:01
  you're
• 18:01
  in
• 18:01
  now.
• 18:02
  Does
• 18:02
  that
• 18:02
  mean
• 18:02
  you
• 18:02
  need
• 18:03
  to
• 18:03
  break
• 18:03
  up
• 18:03
  with
• 18:03
  all
• 18:03
  your
• 18:03
  friends
• 18:04
  and
• 18:04
  your
• 18:04
  husband
• 18:05
  or
• 18:05
  boyfriend
• 18:05
  or
• 18:06
  girlfriend
• 18:06
  or
• 18:06
  partner?
• 18:07
  Cancel
• 18:08
  all
• 18:08
  your
• 18:08
  family?
• 18:09
  I'm
• 18:09
  like,
• 18:09
  no.
• 18:10
  But
• 18:10
  we
• 18:10
  need
• 18:10
  to
• 18:10
  start
• 18:11
  spending
• 18:11
  time
• 18:12
  in
• 18:12
  places
• 18:13
  where
• 18:13
  we
• 18:13
  see
• 18:13
  possibility.
• 18:14
  Is
• 18:15
  there,
• 18:15
  Which
• 18:16
  a
• 18:16
  podcast
• 18:16
  like
• 18:17
  this
• 18:17
  definitely
• 18:17
  does.
• 18:18
  Yes.
• 18:19
  If
• 18:19
  you
• 18:19
  follow
• 18:19
  me
• 18:20
  on
• 18:20
  social
• 18:20
  media,
• 18:20
  if
• 18:20
  you
• 18:21
  go
• 18:21
  to
• 18:21
  Theamanda
• 18:22
  Hess
• 18:22
  on
• 18:22
  Instagram
• 18:22
  or
• 18:23
  TikTok
• 18:23
  or
• 18:23
  even
• 18:23
  Facebook,
• 18:24
  you
• 18:25
  will
• 18:25
  see
• 18:25
  that
• 18:25
  things
• 18:26
  that
• 18:26
  I
• 18:26
  talk
• 18:26
  about
• 18:26
  here
• 18:27
  are
• 18:27
  things
• 18:27
  that
• 18:27
  I
• 18:27
  post
• 18:28
  about
• 18:28
  there.
• 18:29
  And
• 18:29
  then
• 18:29
  lastly,
• 18:30
  you
• 18:30
  know,
• 18:30
  obviously,
• 18:31
  coaching,
• 18:31
  I
• 18:32
  am
• 18:32
  a
• 18:32
  huge
• 18:33
  believer,
• 18:33
  proponent
• 18:34
  in.
• 18:35
  We
• 18:35
  must
• 18:36
  have
• 18:36
  somebody
• 18:36
  else
• 18:37
  telling
• 18:37
  us
• 18:37
  a
• 18:37
  different
• 18:38
  kind
• 18:38
  of
• 18:38
  truth
• 18:39
  if
• 18:39
  we
• 18:40
  want
• 18:40
  a
• 18:40
  different
• 18:40
  kind
• 18:40
  of
• 18:41
  life,
• 18:41
  if
• 18:41
  we
• 18:41
  want
• 18:42
  a
• 18:42
  different
• 18:42
  kind
• 18:42
  of
• 18:42
  identity.
• 18:43
  If
• 18:44
  you
• 18:44
  want
• 18:44
  a
• 18:44
  different
• 18:44
  life,
• 18:44
  you
• 18:45
  will
• 18:45
  need
• 18:45
  a
• 18:45
  different
• 18:45
  identity.
• 18:46
  That
• 18:46
  is
• 18:46
  just
• 18:47
  the
• 18:47
  way
• 18:47
  that
• 18:47
  it
• 18:47
  works.
• 18:48
  Does
• 18:48
  that
• 18:48
  mean
• 18:48
  you're
• 18:48
  not
• 18:48
  you?
• 18:49
  No,
• 18:49
  it
• 18:49
  actually
• 18:49
  means
• 18:49
  you're
• 18:50
  more
• 18:50
  you.
• 18:51
  You're
• 18:51
  just
• 18:51
  the
• 18:51
  you
• 18:51
  that
• 18:52
  believes
• 18:52
  in
• 18:53
  what
• 18:53
  you
• 18:53
  want,
• 18:54
  that
• 18:54
  the
• 18:54
  things
• 18:54
  you
• 18:55
  want
• 18:55
  to
• 18:55
  do
• 18:55
  are
• 18:55
  possible,
• 18:56
  that
• 18:56
  there
• 18:56
  is
• 18:57
  this
• 18:57
  path
• 18:58
  where
• 18:58
  you
• 18:58
  can
• 18:58
  find
• 18:59
  the
• 18:59
  things
• 19:00
  that
• 19:00
  light
• 19:00
  you
• 19:01
  up.
• 19:01
  But
• 19:01
  the
• 19:02
  other
• 19:02
  piece
• 19:02
  of
• 19:02
  the
• 19:02
  puzzle
• 19:03
  here,
• 19:03
  the
• 19:03
  other
• 19:03
  part
• 19:04
  of
• 19:04
  this
• 19:05
  is
• 19:05
  that.
• 19:05
  But
• 19:06
  you
• 19:06
  do
• 19:06
  need
• 19:07
  to
• 19:07
  start
• 19:07
  learning
• 19:08
  how
• 19:09
  to
• 19:09
  get
• 19:09
  past
• 19:09
  that
• 19:10
  lazy
• 19:10
  brain.
• 19:11
  We
• 19:11
  need
• 19:11
  to
• 19:11
  get
• 19:12
  out
• 19:12
  of
• 19:12
  that
• 19:12
  familiar
• 19:13
  space
• 19:13
  that
• 19:14
  feels
• 19:14
  like,
• 19:15
  oh,
• 19:15
  this
• 19:15
  is
• 19:15
  right.
• 19:16
  And
• 19:16
  we
• 19:17
  need
• 19:17
  to
• 19:17
  listen
• 19:17
  to
• 19:18
  that
• 19:18
  butterfly
• 19:18
  in
• 19:18
  our
• 19:19
  stomach.
• 19:19
  We
• 19:19
  need
• 19:19
  to
• 19:19
  listen
• 19:20
  to
• 19:20
  that
• 19:20
  little
• 19:21
  flitter
• 19:21
  in
• 19:21
  our
• 19:22
  heart
• 19:22
  and
• 19:22
  go,
• 19:22
  oh,
• 19:22
  shit.
• 19:23
  I
• 19:24
  do
• 19:24
  think
• 19:24
  I
• 19:24
  want
• 19:24
  to
• 19:24
  go
• 19:24
  for
• 19:25
  something
• 19:25
  different.
• 19:25
  I
• 19:25
  do
• 19:26
  think
• 19:26
  I
• 19:26
  want
• 19:26
  to
• 19:26
  go
• 19:26
  for
• 19:27
  something
• 19:27
  more.
• 19:27
  We
• 19:28
  need
• 19:28
  to
• 19:28
  start
• 19:28
  being
• 19:28
  able
• 19:29
  to
• 19:29
  listen
• 19:29
  to
• 19:29
  that,
• 19:30
  and
• 19:30
  we
• 19:30
  need
• 19:30
  to
• 19:30
  be
• 19:31
  able
• 19:31
  to
• 19:31
  start
• 19:31
  moving
• 19:32
  towards
• 19:32
  it.
• 19:32
  And
• 19:33
  that
• 19:33
  is
• 19:33
  going
• 19:33
  to
• 19:33
  be
• 19:34
  a
• 19:34
  little
• 19:34
  bit
• 19:34
  difficult.
• 19:35
  Slash
• 19:35
  a
• 19:36
  lot
• 19:36
  difficult.
• 19:37
  But
• 19:37
  the
• 19:38
  payout
• 19:39
  is
• 19:39
  massive
• 19:40
  and
• 19:41
  guaranteed.
• 19:42
  Instead
• 19:42
  of
• 19:42
  always
• 19:43
  trying
• 19:43
  to
• 19:43
  eliminate
• 19:44
  pain,
• 19:45
  we
• 19:45
  can
• 19:45
  start
• 19:46
  really
• 19:46
  actively
• 19:47
  creating
• 19:48
  joy.
• 19:49
  And
• 19:49
  this
• 19:49
  is
• 19:50
  the
• 19:50
  point
• 19:51
  that
• 19:51
  I
• 19:51
  wanted
• 19:51
  to
• 19:51
  really
• 19:52
  get
• 19:52
  across
• 19:52
  in
• 19:53
  this
• 19:53
  podcast
• 19:53
  and
• 19:54
  sharing
• 19:54
  that
• 19:55
  skating
• 19:56
  analogy
• 19:56
  with
• 19:56
  you.
• 19:56
  Because
• 19:57
  if
• 19:58
  I
• 19:58
  just
• 19:58
  skated
• 19:58
  on
• 19:59
  my
• 19:59
  own
• 19:59
  and
• 19:59
  did
• 20:00
  that
• 20:00
  backspin
• 20:00
  again
• 20:01
  and
• 20:01
  again
• 20:01
  with
• 20:01
  my
• 20:01
  coach
• 20:02
  telling
• 20:02
  me
• 20:02
  how
• 20:02
  to
• 20:02
  do
• 20:02
  it
• 20:03
  and
• 20:03
  exactly
• 20:03
  what
• 20:03
  to
• 20:03
  do
• 20:03
  and
• 20:04
  blah,
• 20:04
  blah,
• 20:04
  blah,
• 20:05
  maybe
• 20:05
  I
• 20:05
  would
• 20:05
  have
• 20:05
  gotten
• 20:06
  there,
• 20:06
  but
• 20:07
  there's
• 20:07
  no
• 20:07
  way
• 20:08
  that
• 20:08
  I
• 20:08
  would
• 20:08
  have
• 20:08
  got
• 20:08
  there
• 20:09
  this
• 20:09
  fast.
• 20:09
  And
• 20:10
  that
• 20:10
  would
• 20:10
  have
• 20:10
  clicked
• 20:11
  so
• 20:11
  easily.
• 20:12
  There
• 20:12
  is
• 20:13
  just
• 20:13
  this
• 20:14
  beautiful
• 20:14
  instrument
• 20:15
  that
• 20:15
  we
• 20:15
  have,
• 20:15
  our
• 20:16
  brain.
• 20:17
  It
• 20:17
  works
• 20:17
  in
• 20:17
  Ways
• 20:18
  that
• 20:18
  we
• 20:18
  don't
• 20:18
  necessarily
• 20:19
  fully
• 20:20
  understand.
• 20:20
  There's
• 20:21
  absolutely
• 20:21
  research
• 20:22
  to
• 20:22
  support
• 20:23
  that.
• 20:23
  When
• 20:24
  we
• 20:24
  see
• 20:24
  other
• 20:25
  people
• 20:25
  doing
• 20:25
  what
• 20:26
  we
• 20:26
  want,
• 20:26
  we
• 20:26
  can
• 20:27
  then
• 20:27
  do
• 20:27
  it.
• 20:28
  Roger
• 20:28
  Bannister
• 20:29
  is
• 20:29
  a
• 20:29
  perfect
• 20:29
  example
• 20:30
  of
• 20:30
  that.
• 20:30
  With
• 20:30
  him
• 20:31
  being
• 20:31
  able
• 20:31
  to
• 20:31
  run
• 20:31
  a
• 20:32
  four
• 20:32
  minute
• 20:32
  mile.
• 20:33
  Before
• 20:33
  he
• 20:33
  had
• 20:34
  run
• 20:34
  a
• 20:34
  four
• 20:34
  minute
• 20:34
  mile,
• 20:35
  nobody
• 20:35
  had
• 20:35
  a
• 20:36
  four
• 20:36
  minute
• 20:36
  mile,
• 20:37
  nobody.
• 20:37
  And
• 20:38
  then
• 20:38
  after
• 20:38
  he
• 20:38
  did,
• 20:39
  person
• 20:39
  after
• 20:39
  person
• 20:40
  really
• 20:40
  almost
• 20:41
  immediately
• 20:41
  after
• 20:42
  did.
• 20:42
  Why?
• 20:43
  Because
• 20:44
  of
• 20:44
  the
• 20:44
  psychology
• 20:45
  of
• 20:45
  it.
• 20:45
  Because
• 20:46
  the
• 20:46
  possibility
• 20:47
  got
• 20:47
  planted
• 20:48
  and
• 20:49
  we
• 20:49
  are
• 20:49
  not
• 20:50
  spending
• 20:50
  enough
• 20:50
  time
• 20:51
  as
• 20:51
  a
• 20:51
  culture,
• 20:52
  as
• 20:53
  humans,
• 20:54
  impossibility
• 20:55
  and
• 20:55
  growing
• 20:56
  the
• 20:56
  possibility.
• 20:57
  And
• 20:57
  we
• 20:58
  are
• 20:58
  also
• 20:58
  not
• 20:59
  really,
• 21:00
  I
• 21:00
  feel
• 21:01
  normalizing
• 21:01
  the
• 21:02
  discomfort
• 21:02
  of
• 21:03
  being
• 21:03
  in
• 21:03
  that
• 21:04
  space,
• 21:04
  of
• 21:05
  putting
• 21:05
  yourself
• 21:05
  in
• 21:06
  that
• 21:06
  position.
• 21:07
  And
• 21:07
  this
• 21:08
  is
• 21:08
  to
• 21:08
  me
• 21:09
  the
• 21:09
  number
• 21:10
  one
• 21:10
  thing
• 21:11
  that
• 21:11
  will
• 21:12
  move
• 21:12
  you
• 21:12
  from
• 21:13
  this
• 21:13
  anxious,
• 21:13
  stuck
• 21:14
  place
• 21:14
  into
• 21:15
  this
• 21:15
  thriving,
• 21:16
  I
• 21:16
  can
• 21:16
  handle
• 21:17
  anything
• 21:17
  space.
• 21:18
  It's
• 21:19
  such
• 21:19
  an
• 21:19
  interesting
• 21:20
  thing
• 21:20
  to
• 21:20
  look
• 21:21
  at
• 21:21
  and
• 21:21
  realize,
• 21:22
  wow,
• 21:23
  there
• 21:23
  doesn't
• 21:23
  need
• 21:24
  to
• 21:24
  be
• 21:24
  a
• 21:24
  fixing
• 21:25
  of
• 21:25
  me.
• 21:25
  I
• 21:25
  don't
• 21:25
  need
• 21:26
  to
• 21:26
  cure
• 21:26
  my
• 21:27
  disorder.
• 21:27
  I
• 21:28
  don't
• 21:28
  need
• 21:28
  to
• 21:28
  make
• 21:28
  this
• 21:29
  untrue
• 21:29
  about
• 21:30
  me.
• 21:30
  I
• 21:30
  just
• 21:30
  need
• 21:30
  to
• 21:31
  put
• 21:31
  myself
• 21:31
  in
• 21:31
  rooms,
• 21:32
  in
• 21:32
  positions,
• 21:33
  in
• 21:33
  places
• 21:33
  where
• 21:34
  people
• 21:34
  can
• 21:34
  see
• 21:34
  this
• 21:34
  about
• 21:35
  me,
• 21:36
  where
• 21:36
  they
• 21:36
  are
• 21:36
  doing
• 21:37
  it
• 21:37
  already
• 21:37
  and
• 21:38
  then
• 21:38
  I
• 21:38
  can
• 21:38
  follow
• 21:39
  suit.
• 21:40
  So
• 21:40
  my
• 21:40
  friend,
• 21:41
  if
• 21:41
  this
• 21:41
  interests
• 21:42
  you,
• 21:42
  of
• 21:42
  course
• 21:42
  I
• 21:43
  had
• 21:43
  two
• 21:43
  people
• 21:43
  from
• 21:44
  this
• 21:44
  podcast
• 21:44
  reach
• 21:45
  out
• 21:45
  and
• 21:45
  book
• 21:45
  a
• 21:45
  discovery
• 21:46
  call
• 21:46
  this
• 21:46
  week.
• 21:47
  I
• 21:47
  always
• 21:48
  try
• 21:48
  to
• 21:49
  have
• 21:49
  a
• 21:49
  few
• 21:49
  spots
• 21:49
  on
• 21:50
  the
• 21:50
  books.
• 21:51
  If
• 21:51
  you
• 21:51
  want
• 21:51
  to
• 21:51
  talk
• 21:52
  this
• 21:52
  through
• 21:52
  and
• 21:52
  how
• 21:52
  this
• 21:53
  could
• 21:53
  work
• 21:53
  in
• 21:53
  your
• 21:53
  life,
• 21:53
  go
• 21:54
  to
• 21:54
  amandahest
• 21:55
  Ca
• 21:56
  bookacall.
• 21:57
  Let's
• 21:58
  talk
• 21:58
  about
• 21:58
  it.
• 21:58
  I'd
• 21:59
  love
• 21:59
  to
• 21:59
  talk
• 21:59
  you
• 21:59
  through
• 21:59
  it.
• 22:00
  Otherwise,
• 22:01
  see
• 22:01
  her
• 22:01
  next
• 22:02
  time.
• 22:02
  Bye.
• 22:05
  Thanks
• 22:06
  so
• 22:06
  much
• 22:06
  for
• 22:06
  listening
• 22:07
  today.
• 22:08
  If
• 22:08
  this
• 22:08
  podcast
• 22:08
  is
• 22:09
  helping
• 22:09
  you,
• 22:09
  please
• 22:10
  follow
• 22:10
  wherever
• 22:10
  you
• 22:11
  listen
• 22:11
  and
• 22:11
  consider
• 22:12
  leaving
• 22:12
  a
• 22:12
  review.
• 22:13
  It
• 22:13
  truly
• 22:14
  helps
• 22:14
  this
• 22:14
  community
• 22:14
  grow
• 22:15
  and
• 22:15
  allows
• 22:16
  me
• 22:16
  to
• 22:16
  support
• 22:17
  more
• 22:17
  women
• 22:18
  like
• 22:18
  you.
• 22:19
  I'm
• 22:19
  excited
• 22:20
  to
• 22:20
  see
• 22:20
  you
• 22:20
  back
• 22:20
  here
• 22:20
  next
• 22:21
  week
• 22:21
  with
• 22:21
  a
• 22:21
  brand
• 22:22
  new
• 22:22
  episode.
• 22:23
  Until
• 22:23
  then,
• 22:24
  take
• 22:24
  care
• 22:25
  friend.