Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 611: How To Know If You Broke No Contact

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Episode 611: How To Know If You Broke No Contact · The Art of Love With Lucia

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  Hi, this is Lucia with The Art of Love.
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  I'm a dating and relationship expert specializing and helping
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  you get your ex back or to get over your ex.
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  This week I want to talk about how to know if you broke no
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  contact. The Golden Rule People are often
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  in a panic when they think that they may have unintentionally
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  broken No Contact. So how can you know for sure?
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  Well, stay tuned and you'll find out.
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  But first, I want to welcome back my beautiful No Contact
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  army. If you are deliberately thinking
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  of breaking no contact and I suggest you download my app
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  Silencio. The link is underneath every
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  single video and podcast and hit the panic button if you're about
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  to and you'll get a stern message from me.
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  And if you too would like to join our No Contact army, all
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  you have to do is hit the subscribe button and the Bell
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  notification and you're in. And to read our manual, go to
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  nocontactsecrets.com where you can read two free chapters
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  before purchasing the book. OK, so I have a message here, a
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  comment from one of my videos. I'll read it and then I will
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  tell you what the golden rule is regarding whether or not you
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  broke no contact. OK, so they said, do I need to
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  start no contact over every time I run into my ex?
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  The problem is we live on the same St.
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  We live in the same small gated community in a rural area.
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  Yesterday I had been in no contact for 16 days.
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  We live near a lake where everyone launches their boat.
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  This sounds like a very nice place.
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  Where is this? I was leaving the launch ramp in
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  the boat with some friends and saw him sitting by himself on
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  his tailgate looking at the lake.
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  I'm not sure but he most likely saw me too.
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  I didn't wave or say hi. There was no communication
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  before we got on the road. He actually got in his truck and
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  left. My fear is I will see him on our
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  street at the launch ramp and the grocery store.
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  I'm trying to avoid contact, however it's bound to happen.
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  Does this count as me breaking no contact when I have an
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  accidental run in? Do I need to go to my Celenzio
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  app and click that I broke no contact every time this happens?
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  If so, how am I ever going to get to the 45 to 60 days sweet
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  spot? Excellent question.
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  So good news, good news. You did not break no contact
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  just by being at the same place at the same time.
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  So the golden rule to remember is first of all, why is no
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  contact contact important? Two reasons.
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  One, to help you to get over your ex, to give you a better
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  perspective by not having contact.
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  And then two, if you want them back, yes, it's helpful to get
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  them back. So how do you get them back
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  because of no contact? What does that do?
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  It gives them space and also it gives them hopefully anxiety and
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  it creates mystery because they don't hear from you and they
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  expect to hear from you and they're wondering, do you even
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  want them back? If they change your mind, why
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  aren't you contacting them? What's going on?
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  The question mark becomes a hook and it hooks them back in.
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  This is why we do no contact. So therefore the golden rule is
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  that as long as they still do not know whether you want them
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  back, as long as the mystery is still there, as long as they
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  still have anxiety, then you didn't break no contact.
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  So simply being in the same location as them
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  unintentionally, in the sense that you didn't, no, they were
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  going to be there right now. If you went there deliberately
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  and they knew you went there deliberately, then yes, you
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  broke no contact because you because you've now relieved
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  their anxiety. But if you're at the same
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  location but you don't look at them, you don't make eye contact
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  or wave, and you just happen to be there.
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  No, you didn't break no contact. If they contacted you but you
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  don't respond and you leave them unread, no, you didn't break.
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  No contact. If they contact you about
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  getting your other stuff or giving you your stuff and you
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  respond. No, you didn't break no contact
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  because you're simply communicating about the stuff
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  now. If they contact you about the
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  stuff and then you throw in there, I miss you so much.
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  Can we get back together? I love you.
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  Then you're broke. No contact.
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  If they contact you about something regarding business, if
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  you have a business together, or if you work together, if they
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  owe you money, if you owe them money, if you have kids
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  together, of course you're going to respond.
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  But again, as long as it's it's in the context of what they are
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  calling you about, then no, you didn't break any contact.
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  It would be crazy if you didn't respond.
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  It's like, hey, where'd they go? But again, if they contact you
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  for that reason, or you have to contact them for that reason and
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  you again relieve their anxiety by saying you miss them, you
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  want them back, blah blah blah, then you broke no contact.
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  If they contact you for your birthday and you say thank you,
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  no you did not break no contact. You're just being polite.
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  Just because you said thank you, it doesn't mean that you want
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  them back. But again, if they contact you
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  for your birthday and you say thank you, I miss you.
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  I love you. Then you broke no contact.
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  Now obviously if you contact them for their birthday, then
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  you did bring no contact because now you're showing that you are
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  still interested. This is why we don't respond to
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  bread crumbs. Because people say, well, I just
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  said one word. I just said hi or I just said
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  I'm OK. I don't care.
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  It doesn't matter if you just said one word or you kept it
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  short. It's the fact that you responded
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  and you relieve their anxiety about whether you were even
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  going to respond, so you don't respond to a breadcrumb.
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  They still have anxiety. They don't know if you want to
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  get back together, and they they think you probably don't.
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  But if they throw you a breadcrumb, which is what
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  they're trying to do, a lot of the time is to see if you're
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  going to respond, to give them some hope, to relieve them of
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  anxiety. Yes.
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  Now you have broken no contact. If you respond to it, and
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  obviously if you contact them, and it's not for the reasons
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  I've mentioned regarding getting your stuff, giving them money,
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  getting their stuff, having kids together, business, etcetera,
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  then yes, you definitely broke no contact.
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  So the golden rule of breaking no contact means that you've
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  broken the illusion that you're not necessarily interested in
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  getting back together and that you don't miss them and that
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  you're pining away for them. Meaning that you've now relieved
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  their anxiety because they see that there is interest there and
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  you do miss them and you are pining away for them.
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  Okay. So I hope this clears things up.
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  I know there was some confusion and now I want to hear from you.
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  Have you ever unknowingly broke no contact?
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  Comment below. And if you would like my help to
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  get your ex back, contact me at theartoflove.net and we will
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  send you the rates. The direct link is below every
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  single video and podcast. If you found this video helpful,
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  please like, subscribe and share.
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  If you're listening to this as a podcast, please rate and review.
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  And finally, remember that love inspires, empowers, uplifts and
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  enlightens.