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Friday feature - Brain surgery & closing down Baseline · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: I appolgiate production. One finding out that I've got a
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: brain aneurysm, two finding out then a few months later
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: that I need to have surgery, and three how I've
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: come to the decision to close down Baseline Active. I
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: was really not feeling happy. I didn't want to go
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: to work, I didn't want to handle my responsibilities. I
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: felt stressed all the time. I felt very stretched. I
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: felt like I just wasn't enjoying my tasks and my
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: roles and even being around older people. I kind of
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: felt like I just wanted to go in and be
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: at home more and be with my kids more. And
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: I was crying all the time, Like honestly, every second
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: or third night, I would just sit on the couch
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  Speaker 1: and sometimes I would try and hold it back because
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: I just got so sick of crying, and Steve would
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: just have to take one look at me and I
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: would start crying again, and I was like, I'm just
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: so unhappy, and I don't know why, but I did
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: start to really feel like majority of it came from
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: my work life. We'd organized a little girl's sleepover myself, Nadine,
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: and Sarah because they were all feeling a bit like oh,
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: let's get together. We always have fun. Tap into that
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: playful energy, stepped over there. We had a beautiful night.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: The next morning, I woke up and I thought, God,
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: my neck just feels really really tight. Anyways, went to training.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: On the way back from training, I was meeting the
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  Speaker 1: girls at the cafe, and just as I was pulling out,
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  Speaker 1: probably a couple hundred meters away, I started to lose
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  Speaker 1: sight in my left side of my eye. It was
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: flickering flashes of black. If I would look straight ahead,
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: I couldn't see on my left side. And I was
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: like driving, so I was just so scared. Luckily was
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: really close. Pulled into the cafe and I was like, oh,
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: my goodness, what is going on. I must be getting
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: a migraine. Then I was all good until the Sunday
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: and I'm sitting at breakfast with Steve and his family,
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, I lose sight in both
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  Speaker 1: my eyes. I look at my father in law because
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: we're talking about this, and he's like, that happens to
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: me when I get migraines. And I said, I can't
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  Speaker 1: see you. I'm looking at him. I'm staring straight at him,
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: And I said, I can't see you. So he helped
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  Speaker 1: in the car, went to the doctor and he took
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: me straight in and he just looked at my eyes.
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  Speaker 1: He then got on the phone and must have rang
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: a neurologist or someone who specializes in eyes, and they said,
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: send us straight to the hospital. I've got a CT scan,
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: I've got a ton of eye test done. Everything with
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: my eyes came back clear. And then eight hours later
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: the doctor comes out and said, your eye tests are
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: all fine, but we have found a brain aneurysm. And
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: I was like what. When I went into the doctor
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: he said, look, you know, we've sat down and spoken
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: about your case and all the neurology team here. We've
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: decided it's best for you to move forward with surgery.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: And I said, but it's only small. He goes, it
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: doesn't matter, it's the placement of it. It's your age.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: The best thing to do is for us to get
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: in there and to do something about it. We only
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: can go off stats, and I could tell you that
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  Speaker 1: you could be fine for the next ten twenty forty years,
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: but you could walk out of here and tomorrow it
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: ruptures or you stroke. It is best if we do
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: surgery to prevent any of that happening. I just had
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: a lot of time to think, and I was really
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: reflecting on my life and what's important and what I'm
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: enjoying and what I'm not and where my stress is
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: really coming from. And when it all came down to it,
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: it was baseline. And that was a really hard pill
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: for me to swallow because I think I've wrapped so
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: much of my identity around this business and being a
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: successful business woman and being able to juggle all the
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: hats and do so much and hustle and be successful
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: and grow this beast of a business that it is,
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  Speaker 1: and I've been so proud of that, and I have
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: enjoyed so much of it until I haven't. And you know,
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: on social media, I definitely show more the highlight stuff
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: around business because that's the fun stuff that people want
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: to see and it's a high vibe. But most of
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: my time is sitting behind a desk and dealing with
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: the logistics and the cash flow and managing a team
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: and just the stress of running a big business. And
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: I'm being completely honest, I fucking hate it. It wasn't
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: until I had that time and space to reflect that
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: I was like, ah, I can see this so clearly now,
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: But in the same breath, it's like, well, what do
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  Speaker 1: you do about that? You don't give up. You've got
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: to keep going. You've got staff that need jobs. You've
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: paid for nine months worth of collections. That's hundreds of
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: thousands dollars that I put deposits on for the next
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: nine to twelve months. I can't just quit a business,
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: and this business is very heavily reliant on me. It's
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: probably one of the biggest mistakes I've made throughout my career,
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: is everything being really heavily focused on me because I'm
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: the front end on the face of But once again,
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: I've loved that part of it. So I don't know
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: how I would have done it differently. Maybe I would
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: have hired different team members to train them up to
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: do different I don't know, But yeah, I just come
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: to the conclusion that I don't want to do this anymore.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: But the sadness and the fear didn't last too long,
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: and that's how I knew this was the right decision
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: for me. Overall, this experience with my health, it's really
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: shaken me up and shaken my whole world up. I
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: just was so burnt out and I didn't even realize it.
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  Speaker 1: And I think the universe has a really interesting way
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: to give you your little gentle nudges. And I always say,
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: the universe will like a whisper to you first and
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: give you a little couple of symptoms to see if
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: you'll take action and honor that. And if you don't
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: listen to that, it'll get a little bit louder and
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: push you a little bit harder. And if you don't
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: listen to that, it'll then yell and push you so
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: hard that it'll force you to stop. And I feel
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: like the universe has been telling me for the last
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: couple of months that this isn't working for you anymore
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: and you're not happy, but you keep ignoring it because
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: I kept pushing through, like okay, I'm crying up, set, okay,
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: get up, try again, keep going. You've got to keep going,
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: Like just never give up. Push push, push, You've got this.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: It's just a hard time. It's just everyone's finding it
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: hard right now. It's just a phase. And then when
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: you find out a healthcare like that, it just like
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: I felt like the universe literally shook me and was like,
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: wake the fuck up. I'm going to force you to stop,
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: and I want to remind you all that it's really
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: important that you meet yourself where you're at right now,
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: because I think so much of Ashy Binds I've been
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: living in from who I was five years ago, with
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: fitness and with business and being on social media and
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: just being this identity. I'm always authentic and I share
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: very honestly, but there's definitely parts of myself that I've
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: just made my identity. I've changed and evolved and rebirthed
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: so many times that Ashi Winds five years ago, like,
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: I don't even recognize her anymore. So meet yourself where
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: you are at right now. And that's what I'm doing.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: I'm meeting myself where I'm at. It's a whole new
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  Speaker 1: chapter new Ashy that I'm still getting to know as well.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: If you ask who I am underneath all those labels
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: and achievements and titles, I probably couldn't give you a
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  Speaker 1: clear ancey Yet, if you ask yourself that being interesting
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: thing to journalong like do you know who you are
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  Speaker 1: when you take off your mum hat, your business hat?
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  Speaker 1: Or your success? Is your achievements, your things that people
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  Speaker 1: praise you on, Like who are you? A lot of
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  Speaker 1: people can't answer that, but it's really important. We know that.
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  Speaker 1: So meet yourself where you're at right now. Fully own
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: your truth, like exactly who you are, like no one
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  Speaker 1: can argue with you or criticize or change your narrative
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  Speaker 1: to your truth. They can't. It's your truth. And people
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  Speaker 1: can make up their own assumptions as to where you're
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  Speaker 1: at or what you should be doing with your life,
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  Speaker 1: because that's their projections and their truth and what they
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  Speaker 1: think is right. But you know your truth even if
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: someone's like, I don't know what to do with this,
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  Speaker 1: like your heart and your head, No, you know when
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  Speaker 1: you create the space to reflect and journal or just
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  Speaker 1: like be with yourself, the answers are all within you.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: But most of the time we just keep parking to
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  Speaker 1: the side because we're so busy. We've got so much
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  Speaker 1: to do. I want you to all give yourself permission
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  Speaker 1: to begin again. Give yourself permission to change your mind,
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  Speaker 1: Give yourself permission to be the beginner, Like why do
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: we always have to know it at all? Or be
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  Speaker 1: afraid to start something new and be starting something fresh
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  Speaker 1: that's actually really exciting. Give yourself permission to do it.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: I think it's so scary to change your mind. Like
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  Speaker 1: maybe you're in a relationship or a man marriage, or
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  Speaker 1: a friendship, or a job or a career or a business,
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  Speaker 1: and it's so scary to change your mind. But give
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: yourself permission to do that. That's part of life, and
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  Speaker 1: just honor what you want to do. You're allowed to,
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  Speaker 1: it's your life. I think sometimes we lose our power
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: in thinking that we can't or that we're stuck. I
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: feel like I've healed this younger self of just needing
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: to be seen and needing to be proven that she's
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  Speaker 1: worthy of having it all. I am. I don't need
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  Speaker 1: to prove that to anyone anymore