Latest / Blush / High-Protein Vegan Persian New Year Recipes (Nowruz)

Transcript

High-Protein Vegan Persian New Year Recipes (Nowruz) · Blush

0:01
Welcome back to Lush Kitchen. I have never been more excited
0:04
about an episode. We're doing a Persian New Year's
0:07
themed episode, which if you're not familiar with the concept is
0:11
also the astrological new year. It's also the spring equinox.
0:16
It's happening in a couple of days and so we're doing some
0:19
Persian inspired recipes what made vegan and healthy and all
0:25
the fun things. So let's get into it.
0:32
OK? The first thing we're going to
0:33
do is we're going to make tea. Well, we're going to make a tea
0:37
latte situation. So I have this little tea
0:40
strainer. I also have my tea pot and I'm
0:44
going to put tea in it. So I've been planning to do this
0:48
episode for so long. I mean, it was always going to
0:50
be released at this time, but I've been planning it in my head
0:53
for so long. And I've been trying to get my
0:55
hands on, like, the really good Persian bread, and I asked my
0:59
parents to mail it, but they were like, oh, it's not going to
1:01
be as fresh, blah, blah. Whatever.
1:03
Anyway, the stars perfectly fucking align.
1:06
Because last weekend, one of my close friends from DC was coming
1:11
up to New York, and she was like, hey, do you need me to
1:14
bring anything for you since I'm coming up?
1:16
She was staying with me for a night.
1:18
And I was like, you know what? Yeah, Could you bring this
1:21
fucking Persian Brad for me? So my parents dropped it off
1:24
with her, and they also gave me some of their tea.
1:26
It's like the literal tea that they drink.
1:30
It's the Persian black tea. It smells like perfume.
1:34
I wish. I can't wait for technology to
1:38
advance to a point where we can get, like, smell through tech.
1:42
And I don't think we're that far off.
1:44
Like I don't, I mean, I don't know, I don't think we're that
1:48
far up. Like literally what the fuck am
1:50
I even saying anymore? I don't think we're far, but I
1:53
don't think it's, is it like so impossible to do it?
1:59
I don't know. I just feel like it could
2:01
happen. Like I don't think it's that
2:02
unrealistic for it to happen. Also, I feel like I've probably
2:06
told this story a billion times on the pod, but just in case I
2:11
haven't, or just in case you just haven't heard it, I am
2:14
going to tell it. Hold on, let me go grab my hot
2:15
water. So for this I am using boiling
2:19
water, by the way. Also, just a side note.
2:23
So I love this kettle like I die for it.
2:26
I think it's so chic. I think it's like perfect
2:29
looking. But it is a kettle that is
2:32
designed for making pour over coffee.
2:35
It is not a kettle that's designed for anything else, so
2:40
pouring out of it this way for anything other than pour over is
2:45
just so fucking annoying. But whatever.
2:48
OK, let me refill this lifehack. Always refill your kettle.
2:52
Put it right back on. That way you always have hot
2:54
water ready to go. I keep it at like 85°C when it's
3:00
just, what's the word? Like when it's idling, we can
3:03
say when it's idling, I just keep it at 85°C.
3:07
That way it's not like boiling, but it is hot.
3:10
So it just takes like a minute to get it to boiling if you need
3:14
it. Or you can tweak it around for
3:16
whatever else you need. This is if you're someone who's
3:18
just like in a constant state of drinking tea like I am.
3:21
OK, let me go do that and then I'll resume the small story.
3:26
OK, I put the kettle back on. Our tea is steeping, and while
3:33
the tea steeps, I'm going to tell you the story.
3:35
And then I do have to tell you about the rest of the drink
3:37
we're making. But like, I'm going to wait for
3:39
a minute, a minute for the tea to steep anyways or whatever.
3:43
OK, so in 2020, this was early days of lockdown.
3:47
It must have been somewhere between March and like the end
3:51
of the summer. Is that super relevant to the
3:54
story? Probably not, but whatever, I'm
3:56
just putting contacts to it. So I think, you know, I call my
4:00
parents like 450 times a day. I've actually only talked to
4:05
them once a day and they probably were like, Oh no, it
4:07
was our daughter dad because usually she calls us six more
4:11
times before now. So I'm on my evening call with
4:15
my mom and she's on speaker. And I was like doing my evening
4:20
skin care or something. And all of a sudden, and I just
4:24
want to preface the next thing I'm going to say with I did not
4:28
say anything out loud. OK, I think this is very
4:32
important to the story. All of a sudden I smell
4:35
something. I can't explain it.
4:37
It's like nothing I've ever smelled before.
4:40
It's, it's like it's just the most unique, interesting smell
4:44
I've ever smelled. It's like kind of floral, like a
4:47
little bit rose adjacent. And rose water is really big in
4:51
Persian culture. Like we use it a lot like in
4:54
desserts and things like that. Not so much in mains.
4:57
Actually. I believe in Arab food, they use
5:01
rose water in their main dishes quite a bit.
5:03
But in Persian culture, we use it a lot in desserts, drinks and
5:07
stuff like that. But like, it's very, it's, it's
5:09
very much a part of the culture as the best way I could describe
5:12
it anyway. Why does that matter?
5:16
Not at all, quite frankly, anyway.
5:18
But it kind of had like a rose adjacent smell to it, but
5:21
different. It was different than anything
5:23
I've ever smelled in my life and I'm just smelling it and not
5:27
saying anything and like what the fuck is this smell?
5:30
Where did it come from? Like how can I get more of it?
5:33
Like I still think about the smell all the time.
5:36
It was unbelievable. Like it was heavenly is the only
5:39
way I could describe it. Like it's what I would imagine
5:42
heaven would smell like. OK so I'm going to fucking kill
5:47
someone. OK sorry.
5:50
I just abruptly stopped that story because like not to break
5:54
the 4th wall, there was a tech issue, but I'm back now.
5:59
I can't remember exactly where he left off.
6:01
Oh so I'm smelling this wall and I'm like Oh my God, it's so
6:03
amazing. Whatever, not saying anything.
6:05
All of a sudden my mom goes what's that smell?
6:09
And I was like, what smell, mom? And she goes, by the way, my
6:15
parents live outside of DC, I'm in New York.
6:19
We're very far apart. There's no logical reason why we
6:23
would be smelling the same smell.
6:26
And she goes, it smells kind of like Rose, but different.
6:32
And she goes, it's like nothing I've ever smelled before.
6:35
And it smells like it's coming through the fall.
6:40
And I was like, mom, you might not believe this, but I'm
6:43
smelling the same smell that you're smelling.
6:46
And I also don't know what it is and where it's coming from.
6:49
So anyway, that's my very long winded way of saying that.
6:53
I just kind of feel like it's like the tech can't be that far
6:57
off from us being able to transmit odor through the phone.
7:04
OK, that was a really stupid story.
7:05
I'm so sorry that that happened. Anyway, let's go on and make our
7:11
little tea latte. So I don't mind that
7:17
unnecessarily loud sound. So I have some leftover milk
7:23
from when I had coffee this morning.
7:26
I actually had two cups of coffee.
7:27
So that's why it kind of looks gross.
7:29
So, you know, just like, let's not, you know, appearance shame
7:34
this milk. I'm just topping it off a little
7:38
bit because do you remember how a few episodes ago I was saying
7:43
like, I'm loving my espresso machine, but having a lot of
7:46
issues with the milk frother situation?
7:50
Well, I figured it out and it's basically the milk has to be
7:54
above a certain amount, but I don't actually use that much in
7:57
my coffee. So I end up just recycling and
7:59
it's it's whatever. It doesn't fucking matter
8:01
anyway. So for our tea latte, we're just
8:03
frothing some milk and while that frosts and it is going to
8:06
be loud. I'm so sorry.
8:08
I'm going to. It's actually like really loud.
8:12
Maybe I'll step a little further away from it so the mic picks it
8:16
up less, but I feel like it's really loud.
8:19
Should I just wait? All right, now that that fucking
8:22
thing is done, I feel like I can talk again.
8:24
So the latte we're making is Persian tea, which is just black
8:29
tea really. But you know, there's a billion
8:32
different types of black tea, but I think you can sub any type
8:35
of black tea you want. I can ask my parents what brand
8:38
that stuff is though. Again, this thing like it's just
8:42
unnecessary for it to be as loud as it's being.
8:44
So we have some frothed milk to that.
8:47
I'm adding some rose water. This is from the Persian store.
8:51
And then I'm going to add a bit of not not rose powder, which I
8:59
do have, but I'm actually adding just a bit of beet powder
9:04
because I just want to get the frothed milk to be like a pretty
9:08
pink. I also have this date caramel
9:11
that I was trying to tell you about before that thing, just
9:14
like 1 ape shit. So for the date caramel, it's
9:17
not dissimilar from the date caramel that we made a few weeks
9:21
ago for our Earl Grey latte. This one is One Cup pitted
9:27
medjool dates. Now something that's very, very
9:29
important is anytime I give you date measurements in volume,
9:35
rather than saying like this number of dates, I want you to
9:39
really pack in the dates. So like squeeze them in.
9:44
Otherwise the recipe won't come out right.
9:46
So it's One Cup pitted medjool dates, 1 cup of the eat in food
9:52
soy milk that I use for everything. 1/4 teaspoon of
9:56
black cardamom. Like the seeds that are inside
10:00
the pod. So if you have cardamom in whole
10:04
pods, break open the pods. We don't need the shell, just
10:07
the seeds. And then and you can use green
10:09
cardamom too. I just had black cardamom that
10:12
was already shelled. I think green cardamom would
10:15
work better and then it's one teaspoon of saffron threads.
10:21
My saffron is from Iran, not to brag.
10:26
So it's the stuff, it's the whole threads.
10:29
I do recommend actually getting your saffron from a Middle
10:32
Eastern store. Persian saffron is way better.
10:35
I'm so sorry than Spanish saffron.
10:37
It's just a statement of fact. And then for the saffron, this
10:42
is really important. I've heard a few people DM me
10:46
and tell me that they were making this mistake.
10:48
To bloom saffron, you want to put it on ice cubes and not use
10:53
hot water. And then just the process of the
10:55
ice melting will bloom the saffron.
10:57
So you want to bloom the saffron 1st and then do all the other
11:01
things. So I did that yesterday in
11:03
preparation for today. Now I'm going to froth this some
11:05
more with the beet powder and the Rose water, and there I'm
11:12
going to add a bit more of this beet powder because I want it to
11:15
just, I want the pink to be more pronounced.
11:18
It's not enough beet powder to like, really add a lot of
11:21
flavor, for what it's worth. Yeah, that's much more like what
11:31
I wanted color wise. Maybe I'll go even a bit more.
11:37
Why not? Whoopsie.
11:42
OK, that's like plenty. Beyond this, I think it'll
11:45
actually affect the flavor, which we really do not want.
11:50
Wow. In Farsi we call rose, well,
11:57
specifically the type of rose that's used for rose water and
12:03
stuff like that. We call it Golesour, which means
12:06
red flower. All right, let's get those dogs
12:10
shut away and let's have our OK, whatever, we'll clean that
12:15
later. Let's have our rose latte.
12:19
So we're going to do some of this guy or my some.
12:23
I mean, quite a bit of it because why the fuck not?
12:32
Oopsie. This set, by the way, is from
12:37
Zara Home. I will link.
12:43
Oh, my God. Not me having beet powder under
12:46
my nail. Oh, my God.
12:47
What do we think of the nails? I went rectangular, or I mean
12:52
square, whatever. Like in geometry.
12:55
I'm sorry, these are rectangles, but whatever.
12:59
Neither here nor there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:08
Let's give her a taste. It is so Persian.
13:20
I love this. Oh my God, I can't wait to make
13:23
this for my parents when I go down for Persian years.
13:28
You know, not to break the 4th wall, but I'm going to.
13:31
I'm actually filming this a few weeks ahead of time because
13:34
that's just how the production schedule is.
13:36
But the war started 2 days ago. Three days ago, honestly, the
13:44
day the war started was the day I was going to start filming
13:48
this episode because it does take two days to film some of
13:51
these episodes just because like you'll see why I decided to put
13:56
it off for a few days because that first day when the war
13:59
started, I I've never felt like that before is the only way I
14:06
can say it. I like when I open my phone in
14:11
the morning and saw my texts, it just felt like the floor like
14:17
gave way from underneath me. Like I don't know if you watched
14:20
Beast games on Amazon, Mr. Beast's game show, but they had
14:25
these things where all the contestants are in their their
14:28
little area and they have these trick floors where the floor can
14:32
come out from underneath them and they freefall.
14:34
And I mean, there was like padding and stuff.
14:36
They're safe, but it looked terrifying.
14:38
Like that's what it felt like. It felt like it was in Beast
14:41
Games, you know, my whole family being bombed felt like I was in
14:45
these games. No, it felt like, by the way, my
14:51
family wasn't bombed, to be clear, like my family isn't a
14:55
part of the Islamic Republic. I just mean like bombs falling
14:58
where my whole family other than my parents live.
15:00
That's what I meant it. It truly felt like the floor was
15:05
pulled out from underneath me and I was just, like, free
15:07
falling for the rest of the day. Like, it was like nothing I've
15:10
ever experienced before. Yeah, I decided to put off
15:15
filming by a couple of days just so I could, like, get my
15:18
thoughts in my mind. Right.
15:19
But like, what a perfect way I feel like to pay homage to.
15:25
Is it homage? It's not homage.
15:30
Is it not? Is it homage?
15:34
Am I OK? It's certainly not homage,
15:37
right? Oh, whatever.
15:40
We've a pretty international audience.
15:43
We all probably pronounce it in different ways anyway.
15:46
But yeah, to pay homage to my Persian culture, so it is kind
15:50
of perfect. That is insanely fucking
15:54
delicious. OK, we're going to move on.
15:57
So basically here's what we're making.
15:59
We're going to do a little platter because a really common
16:03
thing in Persian culture is what we call noon pannier, sabzi, and
16:08
noon means bread, pannier means cheese and sabzi means herbs.
16:14
So people will make the spread of like Persian breads and
16:18
Persian cheese, which is kind of like a feta adjacent kind of
16:21
cheese. And then fresh herbs and
16:24
radishes and scallions. Sometimes other things on the
16:27
platter and we'll eat it like with breakfast or like break a
16:31
fast with it or whatever it may be.
16:34
Like often times just start meals like that.
16:37
So we're going to do that. I have recipe tested the fuck
16:42
out of trying to create a healthy vegan, light but high in
16:50
protein version of the Persian cheese.
16:53
And I think I finally fucking nailed it.
16:55
And then the other thing we're going to make is, you know, as
16:59
aforementioned, I have all the bread.
17:00
It's in here. We'll grab it in a SEC.
17:02
And the other thing we're going to make is, you know, a
17:05
hivified, A blushified version of one of my favorite Persian
17:09
dishes, which is this eggplant dip.
17:11
We call it kashka budemchon. So I'm just going to drink this
17:15
for another SEC, and then we're going to get started on our
17:17
eggplant. OK, You want to hear something
17:20
really fucking chaotic? I actually completely forgot
17:24
that I need to like, I don't know, slice my onions, chop up
17:28
the eggplant, whatever. So I'm just going to, like,
17:35
mandolin this onion into the brazor while the stove is on and
17:43
just, like, hope no one catches on fire.
17:45
But whatever, we'll see what happens.
17:49
Just going to spray this guy. And please don't catch on fire.
17:53
Please don't catch on fire. Please don't catch on fire.
17:59
Oh, it's OK, Sam. I'm so sorry.
18:00
I didn't mean to scream. Pretty good.
18:03
I'm going to give it a minute to heat up and then we'll start our
18:06
chaos session. This thing really does heat up
18:09
so quickly, so I'm just going to start.
18:13
I feel like this should be OK ish.
18:21
OK, No, I need to adjust. OK, I feel like that should
18:29
work. Let's see.
18:38
I think it would be a billion times easier if I did this one
18:41
at a time. Like 1/2 at a time.
18:44
There we go. OK, this isn't even going that
18:50
poorly. So this dip is traditionally
18:56
made by first caramelizing onions, which honestly is like
19:00
how most Persian dishes are traditionally made.
19:03
OK, I'm sweating my ass off at this point.
19:06
And then you add in the eggplant and you saute it, and then you
19:11
add in something that's called cash, which is kind of like
19:16
yogurt but way more salty. I don't entirely know how it's
19:22
made. Like it's obviously a cow milk
19:25
product, but I don't entirely. I'm just going to do it to the
19:30
side and it's going to be a billion times easier.
19:34
But yeah, I don't entirely know, like if it's just like yogurt
19:38
with a lot of salt in it or exactly what it is.
19:41
But I made my own version that is vegan and high in protein and
19:48
lighter yadda yadda yadda. So for that I used a cup of
19:54
soaked raw cashews which I then strained.
19:58
So for anytime I say soaked cashews, what I mean is either
20:02
soaked overnight or for like 10 minutes in hot water.
20:06
And then I strained those rinse them out and blended with One
20:12
Cup of the soy milk. The eat in food soy milk just to
20:16
like add more creaminess and also add a lot of.
20:18
Protein and then I added 5 tablespoons of white miso.
20:24
So that's all that that is. Is it like identical?
20:28
Probably not, but good enough. It's going to work.
20:33
So basically for the cheese, it's a whole process.
20:37
So I had to blend that yesterday.
20:40
So I figured I'd just do all my blending yesterday.
20:43
So that's why it happened like that.
20:49
Good enough. Oh my God, it's so fucking hot.
20:54
I'm so happy I have the AC on in the technical winter, but that's
21:00
fine. It's also like literal winter,
21:05
you know what I mean? Like even after spring equinox,
21:07
like it's not like spring for a while.
21:11
OK. If you are from Australia, I
21:15
would love for you to opine on this.
21:18
In my opinion, in the Northern hemisphere or in America
21:22
specifically, I feel like the end of the summer is the
21:26
hottest. Like the last month of the
21:28
summer is the hottest. And I feel like spring is our
21:32
rainy season. And then you know, like spring
21:35
showers ring Mayflower, April showers, ring Mayflowers,
21:39
whatever, like end of spring right before summer is the rainy
21:45
season. And then beginning of summer is
21:48
like kind of cool. End of summer is the hottest
21:51
time, right? But I feel like in Australia
21:54
it's kind of flipped. I feel like their first month of
21:57
summer, which is December, which is technically incorrect.
22:03
Technically the seasons change around the 21st, like that's
22:09
just the astrologically correct thing, but Australia's declared
22:15
that summer starts on December 1st.
22:18
Whatever, whatever. It is so hot.
22:25
Oh my God. I'm like literally sweating.
22:29
Anyway, so I feel like their first month of summer is like by
22:33
far the hottest month and then it just keeps getting cooler and
22:37
then their rainy season is more so the end of summer than it is
22:43
their spring. Like it, it's like it's flipped,
22:48
you know what I mean? Which I guess makes sense
22:50
because they are upside down, but I don't know.
22:54
Anyway, I'm going to start topping up some eggplant to add
22:57
to this. And then what I think I might do
23:00
is add the eggplant and then move all this to the back stove
23:04
to finish cooking there. Because if this continues to be
23:08
near me, I will melt. Like you'll just see a puddle on
23:12
the floor. That was once Heba, so that's
23:16
great. OK.
23:19
And I always use Japanese eggplant because you never have
23:23
to salt it. It never gets bitter.
23:25
It's just kind of perfect. You know what I'm going to do?
23:29
I actually can't handle this being here anymore.
23:31
Like, it's so uncomfortable. I'm going to move it now and
23:35
I'll keep chopping. So back to the war, I promise.
23:42
It's not like a deep political thing.
23:45
But the morning of the first bombing, remember the story I
23:50
was telling about how when I was checking my phone, so I was
23:53
actually standing right there. I will never forget the moment.
23:57
So I open my phone and I just like see all my text previews in
24:06
a row of all the texts that had come in while my phone was out
24:09
here and on do not disturb. The first thing I see is a bunch
24:13
of texts from a bunch of different people including Ozzy
24:16
that are like Oh my God just saw the news are you OK?
24:20
Is your family OK? By the way to those of you who
24:23
DM Ed and stuff too, I really appreciate it.
24:25
Thank you. And so I just see those text
24:29
previews and that's when obviously I could surmise like,
24:32
OK, it has happened. And that's when I was like, you
24:36
know, everything I was saying about, you know, I felt like the
24:40
floor giving out from underneath me whatever and other texts
24:47
amongst this bunch of like are you OK?
24:49
Is your family OK? Texts was Ozzy's brother, who
24:56
we'll just call Mike for the sake of the story.
24:59
I just see a message preview from him that says this is what
25:03
I wore to the races yesterday because they had just gone to
25:06
the horse races. And literally I'm like, OK,
25:09
like, not now, Mark. Like, read the room.
25:12
But I think because I was so distracted by, you know, like
25:16
worrying about my family and all that stuff, it didn't fully
25:20
Click to me, like how weird it would be if Mark, what is, was I
25:24
calling a marker? Mike, it doesn't matter.
25:26
Obviously that's not his real name.
25:28
If Mark actually were to text me, like, here's what I've worn
25:31
to the races. Like, he's not like a fashion
25:33
guy, you know? But like, I just didn't even
25:36
connect that in that moment. I was just like, whatever, like
25:39
Mark texting me as outfit, like, read the room.
25:41
This can wait, you know? But then, like hours later, I
25:46
was just trying to find ways to distract myself and soothe
25:48
myself. And I was like, oh, let me go
25:50
see what Mark were to the races. And it was only when I opened
25:55
his text that I realized his younger daughter took his phone
25:57
to text me a photo of her outfit.
25:59
And it wasn't him being like, here's my outfit.
26:03
Anyway, she looked very cute. In case you were wondering.
26:08
While that I plant cooks, I wanna start doing other stuff
26:13
for our little platter. So I'm largely sticking to kind
26:18
of the traditional veg that would go on this platter, like
26:22
the radish and the fresh herbs. And cucumber is common.
26:25
Scallions are common. I'm adding a few more things,
26:28
including I'm going to do 1 apple.
26:31
And there's two reasons why I'm doing this.
26:33
Number one, for Persian New Year's, you're supposed to make
26:37
what's called like an altar. We call it a sulfre, and it has
26:41
all these things on it that symbolize different things, and
26:44
an apple is one of them. So I just thought it would be
26:46
really fitting. But the other reason is because
26:50
I have to shoot a brand campaign with these apples.
26:54
This isn't it. I'm not being paid for this.
26:57
And they're really fucking good apples.
26:58
These like Sunchaser apples, they're really good.
27:01
So I just like, want one. That's why I'm doing it anyway.
27:09
By the way, I'd like to take this moment to just apologize
27:13
for the appearance of my nose. I recently started I got a
27:20
tretinoin prescription, which is a type of retinol and I used
27:24
that online pharmacy for hers just like for ease and
27:28
convenience. Honestly, if I'd just gone to
27:30
like a normal dermatologist and gotten a prescription probably
27:34
would have been cheaper. I think my insurance sort of
27:36
covered it, but that's neither here nor there.
27:38
Anyway, so the like when I was filling things out, I was like,
27:44
Oh yeah, like I have extremely oily, acne prone skin that like
27:48
never get sensitive. Like I never peel.
27:52
I can handle actives really, really well, which is all true.
27:55
So apparently they decided like, oh, let's just like put like
27:59
fucking like, you know, whatever we can find in this, like like
28:05
let's just what the type of acid that people use in like chemical
28:08
warfare in this. So they gave me like I think
28:12
it's a .09 formulation like percentage of tratanoin with
28:18
azalic acid and niacinamide. It's taking so long for my skin
28:23
to adjust to it. My skins actually really getting
28:25
better, but my nose, like, I don't realize until I try to put
28:30
makeup on how much it's peeling. So it's just like a fucking mess
28:35
right now. So yeah, just, you know, I'd
28:38
really appreciate some grace and privacy in this trying time in
28:41
my life. This Apple, phenomenal Apple.
28:54
OK, I'm going to make this. I'd made, like, the slices
28:59
thicker for the onions. I'm gonna make it less thick for
29:02
these radishes, although we'll see just how much.
29:05
Now, you might notice that there are no watermelon radishes
29:09
present today, which is very counter to how I usually live my
29:13
life. I quite frankly, could not find
29:16
any. I'm making it thinner.
29:17
I think I'd made it thicker before.
29:19
Weightless apples. So good.
29:23
Yeah. Let's try that while I do this.
29:25
Should I tell you about the cheese?
29:27
So I tried like a billion different ways to do it.
29:32
It really was not an easy one. But ultimately what ended up
29:37
working really, really nicely was soaked cashews overnight.
29:40
So I did a cup of soaked cashews.
29:43
I did 20 grams of dried Irish CMOS soaked overnight.
29:51
So let me backtrack on this CMOS, So like you might know of
29:56
CMOS as CMOS gel where you buy it like in a jar at the store.
29:59
That's not what I'm talking about.
30:01
I'm talking about like the dried CMOS that those manufacturers
30:06
make the gel with. When you buy the dried CMOS,
30:11
it's so much more cost effective.
30:14
They use like this much to make that jar of gel.
30:17
The rest of it's just water. So if you just buy dried CMOS
30:22
yourself, I order mine on Amazon, I'll link it and then
30:25
soak it. You can make your own gel for so
30:29
much cheaper anyway, so I did 20 grams of the dried stuff.
30:33
Now, I generally try to make my recipes such that I don't give
30:37
weight measurements because like a lot of people don't have
30:40
kitchen scales and like, honestly, it's not that fucking
30:42
deep, you know what I mean? But with CMOS, because like
30:47
visually it's so hard to tell what's going on, the weight
30:50
really does help. Hold on, let me just check on
30:52
the eggplant real quick. So we're going to cook the
31:01
eggplant down till it's like a pile of mush basically.
31:06
Anyway, so the CMOS, because it's hard to tell how much you
31:10
have just visually, it really is important to weigh it.
31:12
So 20 grams soaked overnight, 2 cups of that soy milk, 2
31:20
teaspoons of lactic acid powder. This is what gives it that like
31:25
tangy fermented taste. 3 tablespoons of nutritional
31:28
yeast, 1/2 a cup of white miso plus one tablespoon, which is
31:34
also the equivalent of 9 tablespoons.
31:41
In 3 tablespoons of refined coconut oil.
31:44
It has to be refined. You can't do like regular
31:47
coconut oil. It will taste coconutty but the
31:50
refined coconut oil just gives it that like saturated fat
31:55
mouthfeel that is in real cheese.
31:58
But by keeping it to 3 tablespoons like the yield of
32:01
this cheese is over 6 cups. So like per serving, you're
32:05
getting really negligible amounts of the coconut oil,
32:14
saturated fat specifically. So it does keep it quite light.
32:18
And I'll actually tell you about the macros in a second.
32:20
So for that, basically everything that was soaking, you
32:23
drain and then blend until it's unbelievably smooth.
32:28
And I will tell you right now, if this recipe doesn't work for
32:32
you, it's because you're not blending it enough.
32:35
And that goes for any of my CMOS recipes.
32:38
You have to blend like 5 times longer than you think you
32:41
should. Like you have to blend to the
32:44
point where you think your blender is going to explode.
32:47
You have to blend to the point where, Oh my God, remember when
32:51
I had a maggot infestation in my blender?
32:53
I'm still kind of traumatized by that.
32:55
OK, these are really beautiful. Now it's time for our purple
32:58
daikon radish, by the way. Like we just use like the
33:02
regular radishes, but I just thought it would be like, so
33:06
blush coated to just find like every fucking pretty radish that
33:09
I can. Oh, and this one's too big for
33:14
the mandolin. That's great.
33:15
I love that. OK.
33:21
Oh, what do we do? I guess I can cut it in half
33:26
this way. Wow, look at that.
33:30
That's stunning. I'm so obsessed with my nails.
33:35
I did a Russian manicure, so I did Russian heart gel.
33:39
If you get manicures and you've never tried Russian and you've
33:43
been curious, listen, does it cost an arm and a leg?
33:46
Yes. Like, am I going to have to
33:48
start looking at new streams of income?
33:51
Yes. Am I considering only fans?
33:53
Maybe. Maybe there's nail porn out
33:56
there. Is that a thing?
33:58
Because I don't really know what else I'd be qualified to do.
34:00
The way they clean those fucking cuticles.
34:03
Oh my God, like 8. She was like I'm so sorry if it
34:07
hurts. I was like, it feels so good
34:09
keep doing it. It's like I feel like my hands
34:12
have never been cleaned before. OK that is actually beautiful.
34:16
Let me check on the eggplant. Not bad.
34:20
A little burnt on the bottom because at first I just had the
34:23
temperature too high. But we need a little more latte.
34:28
Well, it's how it's like midnight and I'm, I'm just
34:31
kidding, it's not midnight. But it is too late for me to be
34:33
having caffeine. But doesn't fucking matter
34:36
because I have to shoot a whole campaign after this too, and I
34:40
have to make a matcha in that. So I guess we'll just be up all
34:44
night. I think I'm not going to go to
34:45
solid core tomorrow just on account of, you know, I'll
34:51
probably be up all night. We also I finally after 10
34:56
years, learned how to do flat iron curls.
35:03
Flawless, beautiful, delicious, amazing.
35:05
OK, so then I poured that blended stuff into basically
35:11
like a silicone brownie pan. Now, one thing I would recommend
35:14
that I fucked up for this is I would recommend flower.
35:21
Wait, what we were talking about and these are just so good and
35:24
they're you know what it is like they're a really basic apple
35:28
like it's not like a crazy variety of apple, but they're
35:32
just good. Like they're just really nicely
35:37
executed. Oh, oh, oh, I forgot 1-2
35:40
cucumber ribbons too. What was I talking about?
35:43
Oh, so one thing that I fucked up was I should have put
35:48
something hard underneath that silicone pan, like something
35:52
like a baking tray or something or a cutting board and use that
35:57
to lift it because if you get cracks in it early, it kind of
36:00
gets fucked up anyway. So you want to refrigerate that
36:03
until it sets to the point where you can like flip it over out of
36:07
the mold and it won't like it's like solid.
36:10
So you want to do that. And then I diced it and then I
36:13
added it to a brine. For the brine, I did 2
36:16
tablespoons of salt per cup of water.
36:22
Like just literally just added water and salt and like shook up
36:26
the jar and then added the diced cheese situation to that.
36:32
And that's it. That's fucking it.
36:34
Oof, this cucumber smells so nice.
36:39
OK, I'm so excited to make this and then real quick I'm going to
36:45
just chop up a pickle. My dad made these Pickles and
36:49
I've had this jar in the fridge and forgotten to use it.
36:53
Also, there's something about like saying my dad and Pickles
36:57
in the same sentence that like kind of gives incest to it.
37:00
It's neither here nor there. Oh, these are so coochie baby
37:06
try to do with these. Maybe I'll just slice them on a
37:09
bias on a bias. Wait, but like I have to have a
37:14
bit. Oh, this is a bit of pepper from
37:18
in there. Just squirted.
37:25
Also now me saying dad Pickles and squirted in the same
37:32
vicinity, maybe that's what my only fans can be so I can pay
37:37
for my Russian manicures. OK, we're going to move right
37:40
along from that. All right?
37:44
I'm going to go grab the cheese. We'll do the bread, We'll do
37:48
some assembling. Actually, maybe this eggplant is
37:51
ready and we'll do that first. I don't know.
37:53
Let me go check on things, OK? OK, so this is our cooked
38:07
eggplant mush. This is our quote UN quote vegan
38:12
cash. It's delicious.
38:16
We're not going to use all of this, just a bit of it.
38:19
We're just going to mash it in. This smells so good.
38:31
Now this is one of those dishes that is usually really decorated
38:37
and styled. So usually they decorate it with
38:39
more of the cash or just regular yogurt on top and then fried
38:45
garlic and like fried onions and fried mint.
38:51
But we're doing none of that. We're going to do it our own
38:55
way. And this is one of those dishes
38:57
that growing up, my mom would always ask for my help and
39:01
styling 'cause she just thought I had a really good eye for food
39:04
styling. Which I mean, I mean, I think
39:11
the argument could be made that she was really fucking right.
39:14
So by the way, I think I ended up using like three of those
39:17
Japanese eggplants and one large sweet onion.
39:21
And then this you just kind of want to eyeball and taste and
39:24
get it to however you like it. So it should be like creamy, but
39:30
not by the way, if someone compares this to Baba ghanoush,
39:34
like you're done. Don't even come anything Baba
39:37
ghanoush, do not send me that DMI will block you.
39:41
I'm going to tell you right now, it's not like Baba ghanoush.
39:44
It's a bill. I mean, Baba ghanoush is great,
39:46
don't get me wrong. This is so much better.
39:51
So yeah, do not come at me with that bullshit.
39:56
I can't wait to show you the cheese.
39:58
It's like crazy looking. I mean crazy in terms of how
40:02
much it looks like cheese. Yes, yes, but we need more salt
40:08
in here. I kind of want to add just like
40:11
plain miso 'cause I don't want to add more of that.
40:13
I feel like it's creamy enough, but it does need just more
40:17
saltiness. So that's just kind of like 1
40:19
heaping tablespoon of miso. I feel like that should be
40:23
plenty. I love that sound.
40:29
It reminds me of the sound I was talking about with Mac and
40:32
cheese a few episodes ago. Remember that Veter made
40:36
episode? That was a really great one,
40:39
really enjoyed that. I love that I'm even adding a
40:49
little bit more. Miso and eggplant truly are a
40:54
match made in heaven. One of my first like really good
40:58
recipes when I first started doing this shit was a miso
41:02
eggplant. So good.
41:05
I'll find a photo of it. That was before I really knew
41:08
how to do like food photography correctly.
41:11
It was before I knew how to do lighting and stuff correctly.
41:16
Very fun with that. OK Yep, that is perfect.
41:24
Not touching it anymore and I have another sip of my tea
41:27
because God forbid I go to sleep anytime this century.
41:33
OK, before we move on, I just want to style this eggplant.
41:43
I'm just going to thin out some of this cashew blend for
41:48
drizzling on top. In lieu of the fried onion and
42:02
garlic, I have some dried minced garlic and onion, and in lieu of
42:11
the fried mint I have some basil oil, which isn't even mint.
42:17
And I really thought I was going to be green because when I've
42:20
made basil oil, it's been green, but that's fine.
42:26
Fine. So we're just going to drizzle
42:28
that on top. And I know mint isn't basil, but
42:31
they're similar. I'm going to try adding some
42:34
parsley just for, like, a pop of fresh and green.
42:39
Yeah, I like that. And I'm thinking some bok choy
42:45
flowers. Yes.
42:47
Yes. Oh my God, how good does that
42:54
look? One last touch, some crystallize
42:59
show you just to get a little whack on there.
43:05
Oopsie. Cool, good enough.
43:11
OK, now that we have this, let's do the rest of our platter now.
43:17
Oh, I forgot, I have these radishes too.
43:19
Oh whatever, I don't need to cut those.
43:21
So here's what I'm thinking. This might go on our platter if
43:24
there's room, and if not, it won't.
43:27
So, you know, great takeaways, but I want to cut some bread
43:32
first. So we have two types of Persian
43:36
bread. I originally just asked my
43:38
parents for this one kind and I'm going to grab a different
43:41
loaf, but they sent the other one too.
43:44
So this one is called bad Batty. This is what it looks like.
43:49
And this one is called sangak. This has a pocket in it.
43:53
Sangak does not. And one of my fond childhood
43:58
memories is on the weekends we would go to buy bread and then
44:04
we'd like take scissors and sit and like, cut the bread and put
44:08
it in the freezer for like the whole week.
44:11
But I remember cutting it with scissors so vividly and I really
44:15
enjoyed it. So it's like, fun to do it here
44:18
with you now. Yay.
44:23
Also, fun fact, those are white sesame seeds, but the black
44:27
seeds are actually black seed, they're not black sesame seeds.
44:30
Also, is that a fun fact or is it more of like an arguably
44:36
boring fact? I'm going to cut these into
44:40
triangles for no reason other than I want to slash.
44:45
I just think it could look pretty.
44:47
I don't know. This piece was always my
44:52
favorite. The end piece.
44:54
When you toast it, you can get a nice pocket and then I'd make
44:57
sandwiches in it. Yum Yum.
45:01
I can't wait to feast when this is over.
45:06
OK, that's good. Now let's cut into some of this.
45:11
So sangak is a thinner kind of bread.
45:14
It's more like, like this is more of an everyday bread.
45:17
Sangak is more. I mean, maybe it's just for my
45:20
family. I feel like we would eat batter
45:23
Batty all the time. But like sangak was more niche.
45:26
Like we didn't have it as often. But I don't know what am I doing
45:31
here? Feel like we're losing the plot.
45:35
OK, whatever, I have a girl coming by like not long from now
45:39
to buy my hamper, like from Facebook Marketplace.
45:44
Let's hope we're done. Otherwise maybe we'll get her in
45:47
the shot, you know? OK, it's time to go get her
45:50
cheese. OK, look at this and tell me,
45:54
does this not look like real briny cheese?
45:59
It does, right? So I'm going to put some in a
46:03
little baby bowl. I have to be careful with this
46:06
because it's delicate, like a flower.
46:20
OK, it's pretty good. Let's move this shit out of the
46:23
way and let's get to assembling. So if you do like this here,
46:28
this here, that works, we're going to put some ugly stuff at
46:32
the edges, like the bread. Not the bread's ugly.
46:36
I just mean, it's not, you know, it's no fucking like bright pink
46:40
radish. OK, I like that.
46:44
I like it like that. Let's take her beautiful pink
46:50
radicchio. This is a particularly stunning
46:54
one in my opinion. Let's have her enter the chat.
46:59
And now I don't know what the fuck to do.
47:02
OK, so my vision for the cucumber was that we just do
47:09
these like kind of like that. Just like ribbon messes.
47:20
This is going great. OK, that's not bad at all.
47:32
I mean there are like 15 herbs I need to add to this, so I need
47:37
to start being a little more intentional.
47:40
Do some radishes here. We need some herbs to enter the
47:46
chat. OK, this is great actually,
47:58
because then I can place things above it.
48:00
So let's do some apples and then some of these guys wait, this is
48:10
so fun. Oh my God, it's stunning.
48:17
Let's add some of these. Probably didn't need to slice so
48:21
many fucking radishes, but listen, you got to have options.
48:29
I love that. Oh, I'm adding on some red
48:41
currant because I saw some in the store.
48:44
Not traditional at all, but my mom loves them and I love my
48:48
mom. So that's the logic with that.
48:53
Wait, I'm getting like really hungry?
48:57
Fuck the fuck. What do we think of this?
49:03
I feel like it needs something. What am I missing?
49:06
Oh well, the Pickles aren't on. Oh my God, I made these little
49:12
like Pearl red onion Pickles 'cause I thought they'd be like
49:16
so beautiful. I don't where do I put it.
49:35
Like, I actually literally don't know what the fuck to do with
49:38
these. OK, I think that's pretty good.
49:50
I'll do one more. How about right here?
50:02
OK, I like that. I still think it needs
50:06
something. Hold on, I think I know what.
50:09
To add to this, I bought some hyacinth flour.
50:14
These are not edible, to be clear, so I'm going to put them
50:19
right in the food bit. That's great, but they're a
50:24
traditional thing that you add to the Persian New Year's altar,
50:28
the haft seen. So I thought I could be a really
50:32
pretty way to decorate our platter here.
50:41
OK, I kind of think this is perfect.
50:46
That's insane. OK, before we say goodbye or
50:54
hold office, of course I do want to tell you about the nutrition
51:00
in this cheese. So A1 oz serving of like a
51:04
regular kind of like feta type briny cheese has 75 calories, 6
51:09
grams of fat, 4 grams of protein and 1g of carbs.
51:13
So this one has 37 calories, 2.4 grams of fat and 1.8 grams of
51:24
protein. So, like, not as much protein as
51:27
a cow's milk cheese, but half the calories.
51:32
So, you know, it's just much lighter, way less fat.
51:36
OK, we have to eat something. I'm going to just use a burner
51:41
to toast some of this bread because I don't feel like
51:44
cutting out the toaster. So we're going to do it the old
51:47
school way. Just catch on fire.
51:50
You know what I learned about my partner of five years relatively
51:55
recently? Apparently he's a pyro.
52:01
Who knew? The bread's literally on fire,
52:05
by the way. Literally on fire.
52:10
OK, that looks good. So I'm going to take a bit of
52:16
this cheese, smear it on. Oh, I didn't even have this.
52:23
OK, we'll do a little bit of everything together.
52:31
It's another fucking app. What can I say?
52:33
What can I fucking say? Everything's amazing.
52:38
I wish my parents were here. I am getting kind of emotional,
52:42
emotional though, 'cause I really wish my parents were here
52:45
to see this, like they would love it, like to taste this.
52:50
It's real good. That's fucking insane.
52:52
All right, I need to go. This girl's probably here.
52:55
And sorry, I just texted her back.
53:00
She's literally about to be here.
53:01
Anyway, I love you. Thanks for being here.
53:06
You know, we try to keep it light and fun.
53:10
Obviously, the world's really happy right now.
53:12
I hope you're taking care of yourself.
53:14
Pray for people. Pray for yourself.
53:17
I don't even know what the fuck to say.
53:20
We'll chat next week. I feel like you should not on a
53:22
better note than that. Yo, this is like one of my
53:25
favorite things I've made. This is one of my favorite
53:27
episodes I've done. It's really special to me and
53:29
everything looks like fucking stunning.
53:31
I don't even want to clean like fuck brand campaign, let's keep
53:34
this shit out here. No, but seriously, make some of
53:36
this stuff. If you do, let me know.
53:38
Whatever, you know the troll. We'll chat next week.
53:40
Bye. Oh, and I'm so excited to record
53:51
Hey.