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S2 E1 Stop Overexplaining and Meet Yourself · Get It Got It Girl: Midlife Rebuild

• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back home.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: If you listened to the last episode, we were talking about getting rid of our pain story.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: I thought that was a good way to start today and just go in depth.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: I came up with some questions that you could ask yourself that I've been asking myself.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: Who are you without that pain story?
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: If nobody had known what you've been through, how would you introduce yourself?
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: Not your trauma.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: Not your relationship history.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: Not what you survived.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: Who are you?
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: Now I'm gonna have 10 things that you can ask yourself.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: I came up with like 20, but I'll just share the first ten.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: I was thinking, what do I actually like?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: So what do you like?
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: What kind of music do you like?
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: What kind of clothes, food, places, and hobbies?
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: Not what you learn to like to keep somebody else happy, but what do you actually like?
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: Number three, what makes you feel like you?
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: When do you feel the most confident?
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: When are you the most happy?
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: Peaceful, playful, powerful, or just alive.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: What makes you feel like that?
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: One and the fourth question is what would you choose if you didn't have to explain yourself?
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: This is a big one.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: What would you share?
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: And something that changed for me.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: The fifth question is pretty easy.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: What standards do I want to live by now?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: Not will make people accept you.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: What do you accept?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: And my brain actually goes to what do I not accept?
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: No, what do I accept?
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: What am I curious about?
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: What do you want to learn?
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: We all have that thing we want to learn.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I want to learn calligraphy.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: What do you want to learn?
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: What do you want to try?
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe there's some even a restaurant or something, an experience that you want to try.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: And who do you want to be?
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: Right now, your slate's clean.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: Who do you want to be?
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: Not how do you fix yourself?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: Who are you reinventing yourself to?
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: Or who are you reignited?
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: Who are you reignited inside?
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like I always think of the word reignited.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'm still in there somewhere.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: There are parts of me that haven't even discovered yet and look forward to that.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like everything is at my own choosing.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, not controlling, but just oh well, I wanted to go to Wisconsin.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: So I went to Wisconsin.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: I want to study some of my shadow work.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: So I got a book and I started doing it.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to do shadow work.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: If you need to, it does, it personally helped me.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why I brought it up.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: What parts of the old you are you ready to leave behind?
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: Some parts you probably haven't even admitted, or you've been doing it so long you don't even know it.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: Are you the family fixer?
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: Are you the glue in the middle that has to try to keep everybody around your family happy?
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: Or stay neutral?
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you're the people pleaser.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: That one is me huge.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: Ding-da-ding-d-ding-ding ding.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, and the next one.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: Are you the woman who overexplains?
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_01: Every time I say I'm not going to overexplain, explain, what do I find myself doing?
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: Blah blah blah blah blah.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: Blah blah blah.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: Tell my whole story.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: And do you keep trying to like prove your worth?
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: Number dying, what parts of you have nothing to do with your pain?
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: What about your humor?
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: Your creativity.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: Your dreams.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: And you know what else?
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: Guilty of.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: Your weirdness.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: I am so goofy and weird, and I've been letting it out more.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: And some people are like, whoa, what's going on?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: But that's who I am underneath.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: I did notice sometimes I'm performing because I'm nervous.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm trying to decipher the difference.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: Here is the biggest, biggest, biggest question.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: If you stop trying to be who you are, or what everybody else needed you to be, what would your life look like?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I know we've done some of that.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: I've done some of the visualizations, and I really do believe in that.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: Like if you close your eyes, what do you see?
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: Picture yourself happy.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: Where are you?
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: What are you doing?
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: Who's with you?
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I'm not telling you that you have to erase your past to create a new identity.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: Your pain is something that's a part of you.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's something that you've experienced, but it's not the entirety of who you are.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Who are you?
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: If you took everything away you've been through the bad relationships, the disappointments, the people you had to take care of, the mistakes, the things that you wish you could change, who would you be?
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes we become good at telling the story of what happened to us, and then we forget to discover the woman who's standing right here.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: Introduce yourself to yourself.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna find out things about you that you didn't know or that you buried.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: And be like, oh, I knew I liked to do that.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: I forgot.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: Don't forget to ask what you like.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: What makes you feel alive?
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: What parts of you have you buried to make other people comfortable?
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: My biggest question for you today: who would you be if you stopped introducing yourself through everything that you survived?
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to forget your past.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to pretend it didn't happen.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: But your pain doesn't get to be your entire identity.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: Because you're there, you're underneath all of that.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's about rediscovering who you are.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's about learning things that you like or things that you want to try to see what you like.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you never took the time to meet yourself.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: This week I don't want you to ask yourself, how do I fix myself?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to just say, Who am I?
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to Get It Got It, Girl.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: Let's get it.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: Let's get it got it.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: And let's get you back.