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Working Through COVID Anxiety with Mental Health Expert, Julie Leonard · Authentic Living

• 0:01
  Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have as conversations about
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  things that really matter in our lives.
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  And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
• 0:36
  Hi, Ron.
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  It's Roxanne Derhodge of authentic living with Roxanne.
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  Thanks for tuning in again this week.
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  This week, I have a special guest Julie Leonard visiting with us.
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  Hi, Julie.
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  How are you?
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  Hello there.
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  I'm really well.
• 0:52
  How are you?
• 0:53
  Good.
• 0:54
  Good.
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  So Julie is, one she's actually, my first guest from Germany, Munich, Germany, and, She brings
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  a quite, an interesting background, with her as a certified coach.
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  She calls herself the happiness evangelist, which I love that term.
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  And, she works with, a lot of people around the issue.
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  She's a founder of something called Sundag.
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  Is that how I pronounce it, Jolie?
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  Sanda.
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  Yeah.
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  That's right.
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  Yes.
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  A Scottish word, Sunda.
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  It means joy and health.
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  Okay.
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  Because I wasn't sure what that meant.
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  And she works with things like intentional happiness circles, and she has a daily
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  happiness journal And so her whole expertise is about around the arena of, intentional
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  happiness.
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  So, Julie, let's talk a little bit and jump right into kind of, you know, you started you
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  know, working in this field about 30 years ago.
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  So what what kinda, you know, 30 years ago, I've gotta think that, you know, that wasn't
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  the kind of a topic that was, being spoken about around the dinner room table on a Sunday
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  night.
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  What got you into kind of this type of work?
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  Yeah.
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  Hi.
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  So, guess it really started from just from my upbringing.
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  And, I grew up in Scotland, and, I, I grew up with a father who was, and still is quite
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  depressed.
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  And just through how he was with me, it really, it really has an effect on me and how I grew up
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  in what thought and what I believe, right, indirectly.
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  You know?
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  He was often alone in his own head.
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  So I really struggled with, like, limiting beliefs and thoughts.
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  I cannot put enough.
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  I don't have something worth talking about, you know, and wants to listen to my opinion, those
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  kind of things.
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  And I really struggled.
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  I was very, very shy, very anxious going up, and so it's no surprise that I actually went to
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  study psychology.
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  I had to go and work out what was going on somewhere.
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  So, I found my way into psychology and that what I studied at university.
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  And, even there, I was I really struggled with my anxiety and my, my self esteem, and find it
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  really hard to be around other people and go meet my friends in the canteen and things like
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  this.
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  But, through that, I really realized that I wanted to support other people their own
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  emotional health.
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  And I was really drawn to that work, and I went out to start working in the, like, in community
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  mental health as it was then.
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  And I had the the great fortune to be able to go out into people's homes and to talk to them.
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  And the mental health teams that I was working with, it was a local charity work I was doing.
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  The wonderful thing was that we weren't just about trying to help people be less anxious,
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  less depressed, etcetera, but it was much more about recovery about that different level, you
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  know, a different stage, like, how to be truly happy, I guess, was what I would say.
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  And when I said to people, you know, what does recovery mean to you?
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  Most of the time, they said I want to be happy.
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  And so what I would look at is like, well, how do we get that?
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  What does happiness mean to you?
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  And I mean, that was it varied from person to person, but we would work on different aspects,
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  put them down into smaller steps and work on them.
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  And, of course, I didn't really know it at the time, but I was coaching people.
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  And so, that's what I was doing for so long.
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  And, yeah, so that really drove me into this, passion for happiness and, using those tools to
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  work on myself as well and to to transfer myself.
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  And that's where I did over the years was really myself into the much more competent life
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  coaching women that's here today talking to you and using the skills with all the other women
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  that I was working with, probably about 1000 to date now, and now that I take into my coaching
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  practice.
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  And I think, it's just really evolved into this, like, pursuit of happiness, and meaning
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  so many people who are caught up in their limiting belief, negative thinking, who don't
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  really feel happy, aren't enjoying life, aren't living to their full potential, and to, you
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  know, I really want to to support people to get out of that and to really feel happy.
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  Whatever happiness means to you.
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  And also that, I guess, from your happiness, really, is about having that inner resilience
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  to with what life throws at you, not that you live in this little bubble all the time, but
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  that you have this core ability to to cope with whatever goes on.
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  And so this is really evolved in their ecommerce offer happiness evangelist because
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  I'm very passionate about spreading the message that you can change your life.
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  You're not defined by your past, whatever has happened, that we're not limited by our beliefs
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  or negative thinking that there's so much within our control that we can take a hold of,
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  that we can change in ourselves.
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  And I hope that I'm a really good example of that.
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  So which, you know, it's it's so interesting because a lot of times people that end up in
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  psychology to your point is that they're trying to figure out their own concerns, and then they
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  learn some really good stuff, and then they go on and they, you know, start to teach other
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  people.
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  So let's talk a little bit about happiness as a concept.
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  And you talk about, especially with us now kind of coming, out of the era that we've gone
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  through with the pandemic, is now starting to open up.
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  A lot of people have been at home and they've been disconnected.
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  And we know that here in in Canada or North America, our mental health claims are on the
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  rise.
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  I'm gonna, of course, the same I would think in Germany.
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  When we think about intentional happiness, talk a little bit about what that is because I'm I'm
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  gonna assume that a lot of people, are gonna benefit from understanding what that concept is
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  because We've we've all been through probably the roughest time, I would say, you know, in in
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  centuries, what is intentional happiness?
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  So this is, as I sort of pursued this approach to happiness, it really evolved into becoming
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  something much more than just getting clarity and just, and just having goals, just, I'm
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  saying that's a life coach.
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  These are really important.
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  But, you know, I experienced it in my own life, and I think we're all like this.
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  And so many of us are like this where, you know, if you think pre pandemic and pre
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  lockdown, you know, life goes really fast, doesn't it?
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  You know, we all have a lot of responsibilities, a lot to do.
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  And I know I speak for myself that, you know, you know, rush of the day, rush through the
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  week, even though I'm quite in time to know myself, but, you know, the weeks go by, the
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  months go by.
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  And, you know, there's so many things that you want to do or would like to do, and you just
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  don't do them because you're so, so busy.
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  You just got up in the day to day.
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  And I was really seeing this, and I've seen it with my clients as well, where they would say
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  things like, oh, yeah.
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  You know, I, you know, you know, I really enjoy reading, but, you know, I don't get time to
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  read a book or, you know, like, here I live in Munich.
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  So we have these beautiful Christmas markets, and people say, well, I really love the
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  markets, but, I I won't get to them this year, you know, this kind of thing, and thinking,
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  well, If these are the things that bring you joy, why are you not prioritizing these things?
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  And so that concept of intentional happiness and what what I teach in my intentional
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  happiness circle is about really being clear on what makes you happy what is important in your
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  life and consciously and deliberately working on those every single day prioritizing those
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  over other things every single day.
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  So, like, if I could illustrate that for you just in a very simple way, like, for me, my
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  health is very important.
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  I've always been a healthy eater, but, as I went through some stuff where I was having,
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  like, some stuff with, like really bad histamine levels, like, quite debilitating
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  levels of histamine and sort of hormones and stuff like that.
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  You know, I had to decide that I wanted to not just that I'd like to feel a bit healthier, or
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  I'll try and eat a little bit healthier, but to consciously do that.
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  So I engaged with our nutritionist.
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  I went on a detox diet.
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  I now very consciously every single day plan my meals, look at the food that I shouldn't eat
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  because it's not good for me or triggers me off, really consciously working on that.
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  So is that difference between that kind of you know, good intention or idea and even a bit
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  stronger than just having a goal, but being that really conscious and with intention
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  everyday working on the things that are important and really focusing down on you know,
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  a handful of those things are important.
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  So perhaps during this time, where we've had time to really hit pause and think about
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  things, maybe we're realizing, like, relationships are important.
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  And, you know, days go by and you're really busy.
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  Have you made that phone call if you're reached out to somebody?
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  You know, are you calling your family that kind of idea?
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  Some of your family is important.
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  You know, for me being with my son is important.
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  My you know, with my partner, that's important.
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  You know, there's certain things that, you know, I realize are truly important, and I want
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  to create that space and time for them and not kinda let those things slip because so many
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  other things come in the way.
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  Does that make sense?
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  Is that a I could, I could give context?
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  Absolutely.
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  You know?
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  Them.
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  Oh, oh, for sure.
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  And I think to your point, you know, our our lives, you're you are so right.
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  And, you know, I you know, my mom and dad used to say to me, when you're young, time sits
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  still, but when you get older, time whips it whips, and it gets quicker and quicker.
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  And I think, you know, now being in my fifties, I see exactly what they say what they mean
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  because it's so true.
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  You're right.
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  It's like to month or, you know, like, quarter to quarter, and then we're we're through
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  another year.
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  So I think that concept of being intentional as as hard as this lockdown has been.
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  It's forced most of us to really slow, which most I would say most human beings are too busy
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  being busy.
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  And then that's the discomfort that has happened.
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  And but throughout all of this, you know, they're talking a lot about, you know, I, I
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  know I go for, 2 hour walks now, which I never I mean, I work out or I would get to the gym.
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  Yeah, but I go, you know, last week, I I went for 2, 3 or 4, 2 hour walks, you know, and just
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  getting out.
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  And then when you get out and yesterday, this is an example.
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  My girlfriend, a friend of mine lives not too far from here, and there was a swan in in in
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  just a little, in that something you never see where we are.
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  And then hers is and she goes, And she said to me, I oh my goodness.
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  I didn't bring my camera, and I said to her, my words were we weren't meant to capture it in
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  that way.
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  We were meant to capture it in the moment so that you and I can have this memory together so
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  that, you know, as we go, we'll be able to remember when we went for that park, we're on
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  the Niagara River Parkway, and we saw the Swan.
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  So I think is that Is that what you mean?
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  It's like just being more intentional.
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  I I I know that I've done it.
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  I think that's just It's just lovely that we described that.
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  It's so nice.
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  Isn't it?
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  But, yeah, and I think, like, within intentional happiness, usually that concept of
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  being more mindful as well, more aware of stuff.
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  Slowing down and looking around, we're often plugged in and rushing around and not really
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  looking around us.
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  And don't you just notice that now as as as humans retreat how they or comes out.
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  And, you know, I know here, even though I live in a city, the, the birds are quite deafening
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  at the moment, you know, and it's just so beautiful that you can just hear nature and
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  that, you know, there's more to see.
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  And as things slow down, I guess all that chatter in our head slows down a bit as well,
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  and we can really just appreciate things that are around us.
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  And as you say, just slow down a bit more.
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  So, yeah, intentional happiness is about slowing down and hopefully now continuing what
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  nature has has forced upon us right now.
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  And, yeah, just being more conscious of things, more aware of things, more mindful, and just
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  prioritizing what's important.
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  So, yeah, your your health is important.
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  Clearly, there sense with it, going for your walks every day.
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  Hopefully, you will continue that because you see, you know, the benefits, you know, and I'm
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  sure it wasn't just, you know, like, you're seeing those beautiful parts of nature, but
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  maybe you feel healthier, maybe you feel more positive in your mind.
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  Maybe you're more creative.
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  Maybe you're just bursting with all these ideas.
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  You know, there's so many things that come of that, and I think a lot of us want to embrace
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  that more and be more in that place where I guess the outcome of that is that we feel
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  happier, isn't that we live more to our potential, and we have more focus on what's
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  actually important and not what we feel we I'm doing inverted commas.
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  This should, what we should be doing, what I must do, and what to do, or obliged to do, but
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  actually what really is important for us.
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  So when when we look at where we're at in the world, and I know here in North America.
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  I'm sure it's the same in Europe.
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  They found that there's been like a almost like a 47% increase in mental health calls.
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  Right?
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  So and I would think that the predominant, I was just re reading something just before I got
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  on the line with you from the Harvard Business Review seeing that anxiety is now is is is gone
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  up even further.
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  So with us talking about this concept of intentional happiness, which is kind of anxiety
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  is normal in this time.
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  And if anybody tells you that they're not received this time.
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  I'm gonna say check your pulse, just to make sure you're alive.
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  But so with with the state that we're in, and I I I know what you're saying.
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  It's a gift but however, some people may be struggling to get the basics.
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  So tell me some of the things that you teach or that you just, you know, you do in your
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  intentional happiness circles for people that maybe are saying, you know, what?
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  I, you know, I've had some some anxiety even before this or and it's just been kind of
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  exacerbated since.
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  What are some simple strategies that people can start to do if they're struggling to kind of
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  slow and really focus on what's important in the present.
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  You're absolutely right.
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  This is I can see it with my clients and the people that are reaching out to me that, of
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  course, and, like, you know, hands up here as well.
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  I am, I'm generally very positive and I'm very not in the situation that we're in right now.
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  But I know I have my anxiety days and my, you know, kind of writing a wave of emotion And I I
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  I stayed home for over 11 weeks.
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  I went out yesterday for the first time properly, and, I was really anxious because I
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  haven't really been out.
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  I haven't really done the kind of the things that I used to do, and they were acquired.
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  It's all different as well.
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  You're not gonna remember the mask and the the hand gel and everything.
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  And I just I was quite it was, you know, very nerve wracking for me.
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  So it's 1st and foremost, it's acknowledged that it's, as you say, It's it it's okay to
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  feel this way.
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  It's okay not to be okay.
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  You know?
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  This is a very unusual situation for most office.
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  We've never experienced anything like this.
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  And it's something that changes day to day, moment to moment.
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  It's, it's quite a strange way.
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  It's not like there's nothing certain at the moment.
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  So, when you're in that situation, it's gonna trigger things.
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  And, you know, we all have a response to stress.
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  And there's a lot of stress because there's a knock on effect from this, whether it's
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  affecting your job or your finances or you're isolated at home or you're isolated by yourself
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  without that human touch with other people.
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  This has a huge impact on us.
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  So recognizing what's going on and recognizing your stress response is also really helpful.
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  So, I think it's really good to know that a lot of the time we talk about how we have flight or
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  fight, but it's actually a third one.
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  It's also freeze.
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  You know?
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  So recognizing how you respond, whether you're like, okay.
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  I'm embracing everything and I'm doing a million courses and I'm feeling really positive
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  in your discount away, or whether you're just, like, not really doing anything because it's
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  just too much or whether you're escaping into other things or whether you feel quite
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  paralyzed, you know, 1st and foremost, recognize what that is.
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  Because once you know Like, well, there's my body feeling stress and reacting to it.
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  It helps you understand your behavior that it's not about you.
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  Like, you know, there's an issue with you that they're It's actually how your body copes and
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  how your mind copes.
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  So I think that's really important.
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  I've been talking a lot about that with my clients, and that has been really, really
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  useful people, because a lot of people get quite paralyzed by it as well and think, oh,
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  I'm being lazy here.
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  I'm not doing what I should be doing, you know, and it's not.
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  It's it's that you're coping with a stressful situation.
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  So that's very, very important.
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  Definitely reach out and get support.
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  There are so many people, like, you and me, Roxanne, and so many other people out there,
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  please reach out and talk to somebody and get support.
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  Because whether you have anxiety that's now exacerbated or whether you've been able to keep
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  busy and often avoid some of the issues that you have when you're in lockdown, this is when
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  we're confronted by issues that maybe we didn't think we're still an issue or we've been able
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  to manage for a long time.
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  So maybe a lot of stuff is coming up for you, so please reach out and get help.
• 18:32
  Some of the tools that I think really help right now is to to try and focus on any
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  positives that are in your life.
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  You know, and I know for some people, there's a lot going on, but there there are some nice
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  things in there as well.
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  So I'm all about gratitude, and we know that gratitude is well researched, well known to
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  have a very, very powerful impact, even though it's such a small thing and such a simple thing
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  to do, practicing gratitude every day, looking for the things that you're thankful for, really
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  helps you focus your brain on the positive, and it helps really build those neuropath ways that
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  really kept keep focusing on the positive and not just on our negative because we're really
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  good at looking at negative stuff.
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  We're brilliant at that, but we really want to be able to look positive.
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  So I really encourage people to look at gratitude.
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  I really encourage people to learn about the tools for mindfulness, and I teach a lot of
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  courses on that.
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  Because that's about trying to stay in the present, particularly now when we things are so
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  uncertain.
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  It's very easy to get cut up in that rumination about the future and the what ifs and the
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  worry.
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  And there's only so much that we can be and can role of.
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  So really trying to be much more present and focus on the present moments, this is very,
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  very important.
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  And if we can practice that in any way, then that really, really helps us in focusing on
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  what we can control, not what's out of our control, but there are things that are in our
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  control, not everything, but there are a lot things.
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  So I help people focus on what is what is in your control and what can you focus on.
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  And so I think those tools help greatly with people right now.
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  Really, you know, and I often say when I coach is that it's about when we get harried and
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  busy, it sends we're in century overload.
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  And mindfulness is to go into different modality with our senses.
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  You know?
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  So I back on to the, golf course here.
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  I live in Niagara Falls, Ontario, just to give your people in Germany a in Munich a sense of
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  where I am.
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  So, and I'm back into a golf course, and it's so interesting, you know, because, of course,
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  you like me, you know, busy lives and and practices and and stuff like that, but what I
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  found is so when I sit in my, my family room is that I'm shocked at how many there was always
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  birds, but I'm shocked at how many things like Cardinals and Blue Jays and things like that
• 20:59
  that I see throughout the day now.
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  So whether they were there as much or I am because I am slowed and are able to and, you
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  know, I'm seeing them and I'm these are Cardinals, I think, are new.
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  So whether We're just being gentle with the environment.
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  So they're, you know, or the creatures are coming out more, those types of things, whether
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  that's but it's interesting because now I'm recognizing, you know, just by having my tea in
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  the morning and I'm sitting there in my in my living room that there's all this beautiful
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  color and, you know, birds.
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  There was always birds, but now there's the diversity of it.
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  So I often, coach to people and say, You have the 5 senses, sight, sound, taste, touch,
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  smell.
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  And I I my challenge oftentimes is to say to my clients to to challenge themselves to to
• 21:50
  practice being mindful of all those senses.
• 21:54
  So what are some of the things other things that people can do to to kinda heighten those
• 22:00
  senses because we were always heightened, but we might be in a dysregulated state, because
• 22:06
  we're so busy and and things like that.
• 22:08
  But what are from a mindfulness perspective, like you're saying, what are some things that
• 22:12
  people could actually do?
• 22:14
  We talked a little bit about walking.
• 22:16
  Is one thing already, you know, just sitting and enjoying, you know, nature.
• 22:22
  What other things would you suggest that might be good to heighten your senses?
• 22:26
  Mhmm.
• 22:27
  I think, you know, it's mindfulness is, again, another simple tool, but it's it's quite
• 22:33
  difficult to remember to do it.
• 22:35
  So, takes a lot of practice.
• 22:37
  It's simple, but it takes a lot of practice.
• 22:39
  And so, one of the courses I teach is how to make it part of your daily life and to break it
• 22:45
  into, well, I'm trying to make it additional, but try and incorporate incorporate it into
• 22:51
  some of the tasks you do.
• 22:52
  So some simple ways to really start on that, I would suggest is something like, mindfully
• 22:57
  brushing your teeth is a great one.
• 22:59
  You know, it's 2 minutes that we do, but how often are you brushing your teeth and thinking
• 23:03
  about what you're doing next?
• 23:04
  You're never really thinking of brushing my teeth.
• 23:06
  You know, it's like, what I have to do next, what I have to get doing, or, you know, you're
• 23:09
  really, you know, it's just such a habitual thing that it's you don't even really
• 23:13
  consciously do it.
• 23:14
  But when we brush your teeth mindfully, truly mindfully, then it's everything from just
• 23:18
  watching what you're doing as you put the toothpaste on the the toothbrush.
• 23:22
  You know, it's the the sense of you know, the smell of the mintiness, the taste on your
• 23:28
  tongue, how it foams up, how it feels, being conscious of brushing every tooth, And if you
• 23:33
  can challenge yourself to do that for the 2 minutes, it's a great way to really experience
• 23:38
  true mindfulness and to stop your mind rushing on.
• 23:42
  So I always start with, brushing your teeth or having a shower because having a shower, most
• 23:48
  people are not fully present in that.
• 23:50
  There's always I always have a little slide when I when I do this, it says that having a
• 23:55
  shower is 2% washing, 8% singing, and 90% putting the world to rights.
• 24:00
  Because we tend to just kind of get ready, but you're totally, like, you know, going through
• 24:04
  stuff and having arguments and debates and sorting stuff out, and then you go did I
• 24:08
  shampoo my hair or,
• 24:09
  you
• 24:09
  know, what did I do?
• 24:10
  Did I wash that arm, you know, that kind of thing?
• 24:12
  So, you know, much more of being a tune of like that, you know, the heat the temperature of the
• 24:16
  water, the smell of your shampoo, the sensation as you wash your hair, you know, like, try and
• 24:21
  do something that you're already doing in the day.
• 24:24
  But then try and bring yourself to be more mindful.
• 24:27
  And as you say, bringing all those senses, it's really wonderful.
• 24:32
  And now I think there's also a crossover something that I think is very helpful as well
• 24:36
  as I do things like mindful coloring because that's a really great thing.
• 24:40
  So if you're finding that just being truly mindful is is is difficult, picking a task,
• 24:46
  what, psychologists call it flow state task, we call it getting in the zone.
• 24:50
  That's what we would say.
• 24:52
  So things where you have to, like, focus on something that's challenging enough, but it's a
• 24:56
  single activity.
• 24:58
  What that does is it takes you out of the part of the brain where you're overthinking and
• 25:02
  you're worrying about stuff into a completely different part of your brain that shuts off
• 25:05
  from all of that.
• 25:06
  So If you feel it's hard to kind of break that cycle of rumination, pick something that keeps
• 25:11
  you busy for a little while.
• 25:12
  Mindful coloring is a great one.
• 25:14
  I've got a five year old, so we're sitting coloring everything I can do with him, you
• 25:18
  know, but things like yoga, Tai Chi, any kind of those kind of sports where you have to on
• 25:23
  what you're doing or you fall over or something, you know, is challenging enough, but
• 25:28
  it's focused for you as well.
• 25:31
  You know, sometimes like, and activities like maybe knitting or sewing, those kind of crafts,
• 25:36
  something craft that you do with your hands, your pushing on.
• 25:39
  To a degree, like, you know, more like playing computer games.
• 25:42
  You don't wanna get caught into doing that for hours, but you know, like, sometimes you're on
• 25:45
  the games and you just zone out completely.
• 25:47
  So think of those activities where you completely zone out and you forget time for a
• 25:53
  while.
• 25:54
  That's a great way to train yourself to be mindful, but it's a double bonus that you're
• 25:59
  also going into a zone into a flow state, and that's really great for mental health.
• 26:04
  And there's lots of research that says even 5 minutes a day of that has a huge impact on how
• 26:08
  we feel.
• 26:09
  So that would be my
• 26:11
  Yeah.
• 26:11
  And I I often say, like, with my, senior executives and stuff like that, what I'll have
• 26:16
  them do is put an alert on their phone.
• 26:19
  So they would do it like kind of mid morning and, mid afternoon and maybe on their way from,
• 26:25
  in their commutes, which we we haven't had lately.
• 26:28
  Is to put those alerts to to remind themselves to do something of, list of 10 things that I
• 26:35
  have them create together with me to have them staying present.
• 26:39
  And it could be, you know, one thing that I I sometimes will do is I'll have them come up
• 26:46
  with Of course, they can't do this with their driving, but they they, might on the desktop of
• 26:53
  their phone put 5 of the most relaxing or happiest pitchers, that they can think of.
• 27:01
  That's in that's on their phone right now, but not to have to go look through them, but to
• 27:06
  just be able to flip those through, you know, and just really think about what were you
• 27:10
  feeling or, you know, who are you with, how are you thinking those types of things?
• 27:15
  And then they kind of and then they get kind of accustomed to doing that.
• 27:19
  Right?
• 27:19
  So it could be in of St.
• 27:21
  Be be, say, beautiful, lakes or their pets or, you know, their family, those types of things.
• 27:28
  And it's just that pause to your point we're talking about is just being able to pause for a
• 27:32
  little bit, refocus, remember what's important, you know, why am I doing what I I'm, you know,
• 27:38
  why I'm doing what am I doing versus kind of, you know, getting caught up in the tumble, you
• 27:43
  know, of that we do day in, day out, you know, quarter to quarter year to year kind of thing.
• 27:49
  Mhmm.
• 27:49
  Absolutely.
• 27:50
  Absolutely.
• 27:51
  Those are great ideas.
• 27:51
  You're absolutely right.
• 27:52
  We just I think we've we've had the chance now to to kinda create that space.
• 27:58
  To process things better and to focus on things that we are enjoying so many people.
• 28:04
  I see such a change.
• 28:05
  I'm sure you see the same Roxanne, but many people who were like, gosh, have a great cope
• 28:09
  with lockdown and working from home.
• 28:11
  I like to change that.
• 28:12
  I don't think we're working from home.
• 28:13
  I think we're at home trying to work through a pandemic, and that's very different.
• 28:17
  And I think that's important to remember we're not homeschooling.
• 28:20
  We're at home trying to teach our kids, you know, while we're trying to work from home.
• 28:26
  So it's important.
• 28:28
  But, yeah, I think we've had that space now.
• 28:32
  So it's like, how can you carry that forwards into life.
• 28:34
  How does that become your new normal?
• 28:37
  You know, when we think about what we're rushing back to, what are we really in a rush
• 28:41
  to take with us?
• 28:42
  What's actually to to to take forward in our lives.
• 28:47
  And, you know, the one thing, and I I want you to just speak to this a little bit, is about
• 28:53
  that being happy is really, you know, it's a habit.
• 28:57
  It's it's not something that happens upon us.
• 29:00
  And you know, because a lot of people will say, well, you know, you know, how do I manage, you
• 29:06
  know, some people say they only have happy thoughts.
• 29:08
  And I said, well, if you if you find those people, please send them my way.
• 29:14
  But it's really about managing your thoughts, because some days, you know, you get up and
• 29:20
  you're, like, full of verve and vigor, and it's like, woah.
• 29:23
  How can I channel this?
• 29:24
  Because I wanna feel like this every day.
• 29:26
  And then some days you get up and you're like, I'd like to, like, hit, you know, the replay
• 29:32
  and tried for that day that happened before.
• 29:34
  And I'm the same person, and nothing substantive has happened.
• 29:39
  You know, so knowing, you know, I want you to talk a little bit about how you have to
• 29:45
  intentionally practice or plan you know, what you're gonna do because it's just not gonna
• 29:50
  haphazardly happen on its own.
• 29:53
  No.
• 29:53
  So first point I would say is that, yeah, there's of course, there's like a genetic there
• 29:59
  is a genetic component to where.
• 30:01
  So some people are a bit more optimistic.
• 30:03
  Some people are more pessimistic.
• 30:05
  But, research shows that that is, like, 50% 40% of who we are.
• 30:11
  The rest is all up for grabs.
• 30:12
  So you know, because you maybe have a tendency one way or the other, doesn't mean that it's
• 30:18
  fixed, that there's a huge part of us that we can change.
• 30:22
  So there's so many tools like we're already talking about that you can really train your
• 30:26
  brain to think more positively.
• 30:28
  You know, it's called neuroplasticity.
• 30:30
  So we know from science that you can change your brain to become more positive thinking and
• 30:35
  more conscious.
• 30:36
  But the brain is a muscle like any part of your body.
• 30:39
  So you have to keep working on it.
• 30:41
  You don't just do, you know, some gratitude for a month, and then you're like, well, that's
• 30:44
  done, or, you know, it's a bit mindfulness, and I'm fine.
• 30:47
  You know, it's the same as, you know, if you're running a marathon, you wouldn't train for a
• 30:51
  marathon and then not run train for the next year till the next marathon, you know, you have
• 30:55
  to keep going.
• 30:56
  And and the brain is the same way, and our happiness is the same way.
• 30:59
  So, you know, once you find the tools that really work for you because it's a whole
• 31:03
  plethora of tools that really work.
• 31:06
  You choose the ones that work for you.
• 31:08
  But you have to keep doing them.
• 31:09
  You have to keep working on you know, I like to embrace the growth mindset, you know, that
• 31:14
  we're not fixed and nothing is certain that you can really grow and expand and expand yourself
• 31:20
  and your comfort zone, would expand your mind, always learning from stuff.
• 31:24
  So, you know, if you take that approach, then you're constantly working on yourself.
• 31:28
  And so find those tools that really work for you.
• 31:31
  Embrace things that you're you want to consciously work on, be very deliberate in your
• 31:35
  actions And if you've got clarity on what's important to you, you've got a clear plan and
• 31:41
  you're very intentional, you are going to be a lot happier.
• 31:46
  I'm not saying you're just happy because it's not the permanent thing, but you have that
• 31:49
  resilience.
• 31:50
  So, you know, for me, I have the things that work for me, and a big one that I use a lot
• 31:56
  just now is about self compassion.
• 31:57
  I think that's something that many people, are lacking, basically, you know, like, how we talk
• 32:04
  to ourselves is often very, very critical and very, very harsh.
• 32:08
  And so right now, particularly now, taught yourself with more compassion, be kinder to
• 32:14
  yourself, you know, reward yourself for how well you are doing through such difficult
• 32:19
  times, but that's a tool that I've used and that's really evolved with me.
• 32:23
  And I find a huge help to me, and I can see that the longer that I've used it, how how
• 32:30
  quick clearly it kicks in, how, you know, the response rate and how I feel regarding that,
• 32:36
  has got quicker and faster.
• 32:38
  You know, and a bit more spontaneous as well.
• 32:41
  So this has taken me years of practice, but I really find that, practicing like self
• 32:46
  compassion meditation and loving kindness meditation has had a huge impact on me.
• 32:52
  So find the tools that work for you.
• 32:54
  Do them every day.
• 32:55
  Prioritize those things as important as any other thing is brushing your teeth every
• 33:00
  morning and every evening.
• 33:01
  Put them into place because they're simple, they're fast, yet they're incredibly powerful.
• 33:08
  Well, Julia, this has been, you know, an amazing time.
• 33:12
  And, where where could people, reach you if they're interested, and learning more about
• 33:22
  your your circles and, intentional happiness.
• 33:25
  What's your website so that people could check you out and and connect if they're wanting some
• 33:31
  more.
• 33:32
  Sure.
• 33:32
  So you can find me at julieleonardcoaching.com.
• 33:35
  Now you'll see all the stuff that I do.
• 33:38
  And, also, I'd love to open up.
• 33:39
  I will serve on a Facebook group called The Happiness Club.
• 33:42
  So we talk about all things to do with Happiness.
• 33:44
  So if you wanna come over there, it's all free.
• 33:46
  We have lots of inspiration, and, we actually go online live every month of our happiness
• 33:53
  club.
• 33:54
  There's lots of information there, which are daily happiness moment.
• 33:57
  Lots of free resources there too.
• 33:59
  So you can come on over there as well.
• 34:01
  And so you'll find that lots about me there and join other people who want to intentionally be
• 34:07
  happy.
• 34:08
  Awesome.
• 34:09
  So what am I taking away today.
• 34:12
  And, the one thing that I think, I really drew from this today, Julie, is to You don't have to
• 34:20
  take extra time.
• 34:21
  So you can start from the simple things with our, you know, as we kinda start to open up our
• 34:27
  lives again from brushing your teeth to to having your shower or, you know, you know,
• 34:33
  having that cup of tea where you're actually taking the taste and, you know, feel the warmth
• 34:38
  of the cup or even the, you know, the texture or of your, you know, whatever that cup is made
• 34:44
  out of.
• 34:44
  So these are things.
• 34:46
  It's not an additional activity, but to recognize that you're doing them, but you can
• 34:50
  alter the way you interface with those activities to become more intentional in your
• 34:56
  happiness.
• 34:57
  So, again, Julie, thanks so much for spending the time with us.
• 35:01
  And for everyone listening, you know, I'm a mental health and wellness specialist.
• 35:05
  If you're needing any information on coaching or keynote speaking, you can reach me at
• 35:12
  Roxanne.
• 35:15
  Thanks for tuning to authentic living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive
• 35:21
  healthy change.
• 35:22
  Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach to work with Roxanne, visit
• 35:28
  rocksandurhaj.com/blueprint.
• 35:32
  We'll see you next time on authentic living with Roxanne.