Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 606: Dumper vs Dumpee - The Value Switch

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Episode 606: Dumper vs Dumpee - The Value Switch · The Art of Love With Lucia

• 0:00
  Hi. This is Lee cheer with yard of
• 0:02
  love. I'm a dating and relationship,
• 0:03
  experts specializing in helping you get your ex back or to get
• 0:07
  over your ex this week. I want to talk about the dumper
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  dumpy value switch. What does that mean?
• 0:15
  Well, when there's a break up, the dumper initially has a
• 0:19
  higher value because they are the ones who are getting rid of
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  you the dumpy, and they are getting what they want.
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  So, at that moment, the dumpee has a lower value because they
• 0:30
  are Are the one who is being dumped and if you cry and beg,
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  that puts the jumper on a pedestal, and you lose even more
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  value. However, with time the value of
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  the jumper and the dumpy can switch.
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  So that if you are the dumpee, you can eventually gained the
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  upper hand, if you do things correctly, that's why I say to
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  immediately agree with the break up and go into no contact that
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  way. You maintain as much value as
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  possible. But before I talk about, Out
• 1:01
  that I want to welcome back my beautiful.
• 1:03
  No contact Army. If you've been a good little
• 1:06
  soldier, then you've downloaded my app silencio for both the
• 1:10
  iPhone and the Android, and the link for that is below every
• 1:13
  single video and podcast and to join our no contact Army.
• 1:17
  All you have to do is hit the Subscribe button and the bell
• 1:21
  notification and your end and to read our manual.
• 1:23
  Go to no contact, secrets.com where you can read two, three
• 1:27
  chapters before purchasing the book, all right. so, At the
• 1:32
  beginning of a break up, the jumper will have a lot of
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  confidence and the dumb. People have a lot less
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  confidence because you start to wonder if there's something
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  wrong with you especially if you're not used to being dumped
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  and some people feel worthless when they're dumped and that's
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  due to your low self-esteem, do not do that to yourself.
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  You are not worthless just because someone doesn't want to
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  be in a romantic relationship with you, okay?
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  And the numbers confidence comes from the fact that they're
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  getting what they want. They're moving on, they think
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  that life is going to get much better now.
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  They think they're going to find someone better and they think
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  you're going to have a better life without you and be happier.
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  They have an abundance mindset at that moment.
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  But what happens if things don't turn out as well as they thought
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  that they would, what happens if the single life isn't as great
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  as they had imagined, well, their confidence will start to
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  go down when things aren't turning out as they thought they
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  would. Meanwhile, the jumpy is
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  initially obviously distraught and very upset with The
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  Break-Up, But as time goes by, they start to work on themselves
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  and especially if they do no contact.
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  They'll start to feel much better and become more.
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  Confident. So they work on themselves and
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  become become a better version of themselves out of themselves.
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  And meanwhile, the dumper is probably not working on
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  themselves because they figure they don't have to since hey,
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  they weren't the ones being dumped but as the newness of
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  single life begins to wane life becomes more in certain as time
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  passes and that is when the switch occurs and if you like
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  what you hear so far. Be sure to like this video that
• 3:14
  way the you too. Tube algorithm can recommend it
• 3:17
  to other people, and we can help others who are going through a
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  breakup. Thank you.
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  So, at the time of the break up, the dumper felt more attractive,
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  because they were the ones who are choosing to walk away.
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  The dumpy didn't want them to walk away and so they feel like,
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  wow, I'm this amazing person because this other person is so
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  desperate to have me in their life and doesn't want to lose
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  me. They're trying to get me to
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  change my mind, however, as they move forward and start dating
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  other people. It's quite possible that they
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  themselves will get rejected and can't find anyone else who they
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  want to date as much as they originally, wanted to date.
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  You. They can't feel that connection
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  that they had with you. And initially, the dumpy will
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  feel unattractive. That's why a lot of people start
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  working out and working on their physical appearance.
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  After being dumped, they think that.
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  If they look better, they wouldn't have been dumped.
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  Of course, that's not true, even supermodels and Miss Universe
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  have been dumped, but it never hurts to work on yourself.
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  Both inside and out. So you're working on your outer
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  appearance and you also want to work on unattractive, Behavior
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  such as being clingy needy anxious.
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  And thus, you will become a better partner.
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  So as time goes on and things are not working out for the
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  dumper, they're going to start to have second thoughts about
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  the break up. They're going to wonder if they
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  made a mistake and getting rid of you.
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  And meanwhile jumpers don't usually put any work into
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  themselves because they don't think that they have to because
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  as I said again, they were the dumper, they weren't the dumpee
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  but meanwhile, the jumpy is working on themselves than the
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  becoming more attractive to the dumper.
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  Once there's been a value switch and the dumper isn't as
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  confident as they were at the beginning of the break-up.
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  So now you have control of the situation.
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  When you hear from them, you're feeling better because time has
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  passed. You've been working on yourself
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  at this point. You may not even want them back.
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  Back. I seen the comments all the
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  times that people say, you know what, I just had only want my ex
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  back shocking, as that may seem from how you felt when you were
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  first dumped. So if you do everything right,
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  you will either get your ex back or you'll find someone better
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  because now you're a better version of yourself.
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  And there's this quotes not really a quote, I don't know
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  what to call it, but it says dumper laugh.
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  Now, cry later, dumpy cry now laughs later.
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  So basically means when there's first a breakup, The numbers
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  happy you know they're laughing they're not really laughing but
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  you know but later they're going to pay for it.
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  They're going to cry. Meanwhile the dumpy they're
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  crying now probably literally crying.
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  And they may not laugh later, but they will definitely not be
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  crying later. Okay?
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  And finally, I want to end actually with a comment from
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  someone who did this value, switch, who turned things
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  around, who did everything that I say.
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  And she says, so her ex contacted her and said that he
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  wanted to talk about things and I said, well, what happened?
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  She goes, well, it went very well.
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  I used all of your tips at first.
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  He apologized and said, he Was confused about the breakup and
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  had been very sad thinking about me.
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  He said he messed up and then asked if there was a possibility
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  of us getting back together, I wanted to smile but I kept a
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  straight face and said maybe yeah.
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  Girl. You listen to what I said, I
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  told him that I was not going to clean up his mess and that if he
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  wanted me you have to fly to my city and take me on a first
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  date. I told them I've been moving on
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  so I can't make him any promises of getting back together.
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  Perfect. I also told him that in the
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  meantime, I'm of him visiting me.
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  I am still single. Wonderful.
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  I love all this. I hung up after 20 minutes.
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  Perfect again, she listened because most people they hear
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  from their ex, and specially, the X has made a mistake.
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  I'm gonna get back together, they're on the phone for an
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  hour, two hours, no, 20 minutes and they get off the phone.
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  He was on the verge of crying good.
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  But he's not going to try to break up with you again.
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  That's what we want. Crying and crawling.
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  We want them to cry and to crawl back.
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  Yeah, whether we admit it or not, that's what we want and she
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  finishes by saying, feels so good to see the roles reverse.
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  Absolutely. Thank you Luciano.
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  This would not be happening if it had not been for your
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  guidance. You're welcome.
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  Another success story, we got another one back.
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  Yeah, baby. Okay, so if you would like to
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  eat to help you get your ex back, you can contact me.
• 7:50
  Me at the art of love dotnet and we will send you the rates.
• 7:53
  The direct link is below every single video and podcast.
• 7:56
  If you found this video helpful, please like, subscribe, and
• 7:58
  share if you're listening to this, as a podcast, I would love
• 8:02
  it if you would rate and review and find it.
• 8:04
  Remember that love inspires and powers of flips and and
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  lightens.