Latest / Finally Get Pregnant Naturally: Holistic Fertility Support To Conceive Naturally and Stay Pregnant After Miscarriage / #279 | The Must-Have Practice You Need When Replaying Every "What If" on Your Fertility Journey While Trying to Get Pregnant or Healing From Miscarriage

Transcript

#279 | The Must-Have Practice You Need When Replaying Every "What If" on Your Fertility Journey While Trying to Get Pregnant or Healing From Miscarriage · Finally Get Pregnant Naturally: Holistic Fertility Support To Conceive Naturally and Stay Pregnant After Miscarriage

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  Katie: In this episode, you will discover a simple practice to quiet that endless loop of fertility what-ifs that keeps your mind and your nervous system in a constant state of fear.
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  Welcome to the Finally Get Pregnant Naturally podcast, the podcast helping women identify the real reasons you haven't conceived or stayed pregnant so you and your partner can finally grow the family of your dreams.
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  I'm your host, Dr.
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  Katie Wood.
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  Let's dive in, shall we?
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  Katie: Three things you'll gain from today's episode: why the what if spiral is not a sign something is wrong with you, but a predictable response your nervous system is having, why you can't logic or reassure your way out of
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  Katie: a what if loop and what actually interrupts it, and a simple fertility prescription to bring yourself out of the spiral and back into the only moment you can actually live in.
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  Katie: So, let's talk about why our mind does this.
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  Katie: Like, raise your hand if you have ever laid in bed and you could not fall asleep because you just had thoughts spinning and turning and going round and round and round in your head, and you just could not
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  Katie: get it to stop.
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  Katie: Or maybe you wake up in the middle of the night and this happens to you.
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  Katie: I know that this has happened to me, especially on the fertility journey and even now, okay?
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  Katie: Thoughts like, "What if this cycle doesn't work?
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  Katie: What if it happens again?"
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  Katie: Whether it's another negative test or another loss.
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  Katie: "What if I waited too long?
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  Katie: What if I did something to cause this?"
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  Katie: What if it never happens for me?
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  Katie: I know two that were endless loops in my head, were I didn't deserve to have a child, I wasn't worthy of having a child, and that I wouldn't be a good mom.
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  Katie: And that is just simply not true.
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  Katie: So if your mind runs these loops, especially at night, I want you to know something.
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  Katie: This is not you being a Negative Nancy, being weak, or manifesting the wrong thing in your life.
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  Katie: This is a reflection of your nervous system trying to protect you.
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  Katie: I know that that sounds counterintuitive and like it doesn't make sense, but the what if loop is your brain attempting to solve things for your safety.
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  Katie: It's trying to prepare for every possible outcome so that nothing can blindside you again, especially if you've already been through a loss.
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  Katie: It feels like you're problem-solving.
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  Katie: It might feel productive.
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  Katie: But a what if loop has no answer, really.
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  Katie: So your mind just keeps circling, and every lap keeps your body in a low-grade stress state.
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  Katie: And here's the part that really matters.
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  Katie: You can't think your way out of it.
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  Katie: You can't reassure a spiraling mind with logic because the spiral is not happening in the logical part of your brain.
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  Katie: It's happening in the part that only speaks the language of the body in the present moment, your nervous system.
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  Katie: So here is your weekly fertility prescription.
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  Katie: You can do this now.
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  Katie: You can come back to this whenever you need to.
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  Katie: So bookmark this episode, save the link somewhere, and you can kind of name what it is for.
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  Katie: So let's talk about what this practice is.
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  Katie: The what ifs lives in two places: the future and the past.
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  Katie: It never lives in the present moment because right now, in this actual moment, the feared thing, whether it's never getting pregnant or having another loss- The feared thing is not happening.
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  Katie: So the practice is simple.
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  Katie: When you catch yourself spiraling, you bring yourself back to now, back to the present moment, and here is how you can do this.
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  Katie: First, you wanna name it.
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  Katie: The moment you notice the loop, say to yourself gently, and say it out loud if it feels good and if you can, "That is a what if," not a fact, a what if thought.
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  Katie: Naming it tells your brain this is a thought about a future that has not happened yet, not an emergency that's happening right now.
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  Katie: Second, you want to let your eyes slowly move wherever you are in the room or outside.
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  Katie: So instead of staring at one point or closing them, you want to slowly let your gaze travel around the room or the area that you are in.
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  Katie: Look at the corners, the window, an object across from you.
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  Katie: Or if you're outside, look at the trees, a building.
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  Katie: This is called orienting This is called orienting, and it is one of the fastest ways to signal to your nervous system that you are here in this place, and this place is safe.
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  Katie: Your eyes are telling your brain the truth that your thoughts simply could not.
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  Katie: Third, find one thing that is true right now in this moment.
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  Katie: Doesn't have to be hopeful.
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  Katie: It doesn't have to be positive or forced, just something that is factually true right now.
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  Katie: It could be, "I'm sitting in my chair.
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  Katie: Right now I'm breathing.
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  Katie: Right now in this exact moment, I'm okay."
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  Katie: Because whatever happens in the future, this moment, the only one you can actually live in and be present in, you are okay.
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  Katie: So that's the practice.
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  Katie: You want to name the what if thought.
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  Katie: Let your eyes slowly move and looking in the area that you're in, and find and name one true thing right now.
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  Katie: That's the whole practice, and you can do it in about 30 seconds as many times a day as you need to.
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  Katie: You're not trying to stop the thoughts forever, but you are teaching your nervous system that it doesn't have to live in the worst case future scenario to keep you safe, okay?
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  Katie: It's really kind of orienting you to the present moment, and in this moment you are safe, you are okay.
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  Katie: It's not necessarily you having another loss or you experiencing another negative because that's a future what if thought, not a present moment.
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  Katie: And I just wanna mention something too because I think it really matters here because so many of these what ifs get louder when you don't have real answers because your mind is trying to fill the silence that your
• 7:38
  Katie: fertility journey has left unexplained.
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  Katie: Sometimes the most calming thing is not another reassurance.
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  Katie: It's finally having a little insight into what is actually going on in your body.
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  Katie: And if that is where you are, I made something that can help with exactly that.
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  Katie: It is called the Ultimate Fertility Blueprint, and it is a quick quiz that looks at nine different areas of your fertility and scores where your body is strong and where it may need some support.
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  Katie: After this quiz, you will walk away with real insight instead of more unanswered questions.
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  Katie: So the link for that is in the show notes, and it's totally free.
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  Katie: So to recap this episode, your fertility prescription is to become aware of the what ifs.
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  Katie: Let your eyes slowly move around the room or the area that you're in, and find and name one thing that is true right now.
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  Katie: The what if lives in a future that is not here yet.
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  Katie: You live in this moment, and in this moment you are okay.
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  Katie: This practice is here for you to come back to the present as many times as you need to on your journey.
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  Katie: And I just wanna thank you so much for listening to this episode.
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  Katie: I hope you have a gorgeous day, and I'll see you on our next episode released every Tuesday and Thursday.
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  Are you ready to finally discover why you haven't been able to get or stay pregnant?
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  The Ultimate Fertility Blueprint is a quick, insightful quiz designed to reveal your overall capacity to conceive and help you discover potential root causes and areas to address to improve your fertility so you can finally get and stay pregnant.
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  You'll find the link in the show notes.
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  As a quick reminder and disclaimer, this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice.
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  Always consult your doctor or healthcare provider before starting any new supplement or protocol, especially if you're actively trying to conceive or undergoing treatment.