Latest / Questionable Detour / Taking deaf and blind kids to the movies, gaslighting a robber, and getting extra credit.

Transcript

Taking deaf and blind kids to the movies, gaslighting a robber, and getting extra credit. · Questionable Detour

0:00
Excuse me, what is going on here?
0:04
But first we're going to make a little detour.
0:09
So absurd, so questionable.
0:12
I guess we're just the weirdos.
0:15
Expect the detour.
0:17
Okay, so for our steady and loyal viewership, they might notice that we weren't able to upload this past week.
0:32
Do we want to give an excuse and a reason why maybe that didn't happen?
0:36
Why we missed a week?
0:37
I think that's best.
0:38
Yeah, because we haven't missed a week yet.
0:40
We've been very consistent.
0:41
We're yeah, we're very transparent.
0:43
It's good. Go get ahead of what the tabloids might say, you know, because, you know, it's going to be on shelves probably by the end of this week.
0:51
Yeah, Alan's going to have 15 articles written.
0:53
Oh, my gosh.
0:54
They never stop this fuel for the flame.
0:58
But well, it was it was the fourth.
1:00
So I was celebrating how how my family does every year at the 9-11 memorial.
1:09
Is there OK, let me ask you this.
1:11
Did that start at a certain time or is it just conveniently where that tragedy happened?
1:17
We've always spent the fourth and, you know, in the building close by.
1:20
So yeah, after after 9-11, it just it just made sense.
1:25
Yeah, you're like, this is such a tradition.
1:27
But now it feels weird.
1:28
Yeah, we're going to get a get hot dogs to stand out in front of the building, you know, for your fourth.
1:34
One of your Fourth of July traditions is to make airplane noises.
1:38
Mm hmm. And that's kind of awkward.
1:40
Fourth of July, you get a lot of looks.
1:43
We're also into drones.
1:44
Yeah. So yeah, they're they tend to get shot down.
1:48
People think, oh, he's a it's a statement.
1:51
Yeah. I know your tradition.
1:53
Y'all been doing that since 2000.
1:55
Yeah. Yeah. And people people they point at me and they go, are you Al Qaeda?
1:59
And I go, no, I'm Alan because you just think they misunderstood.
2:03
Yeah. Yeah. OK.
2:04
Conveniently, conveniently.
2:06
Your name in my phone is Talon Band Arnell. Wow.
2:09
So that is convenient for this situation right now.
2:13
Really? Very convenient.
2:15
Very convenient. I got to make some calls.
2:19
You know, do some damage control.
2:21
All right, Evan, what was your excuse?
2:23
I don't know. This is a team effort.
2:24
What we do here individually.
2:27
We like to we like to place blame, though.
2:28
Yeah. Yeah. Who's supposed to blame here for not uploading this past week?
2:32
Well, we're all staunch, staunch Americans, patriots.
2:36
Yeah. Yeah. We take patriotism to the extreme.
2:40
Oh, gosh. We really go all out for the fourth.
2:43
And it's really sacred to us.
2:44
So kind of what we did is we rounded up a bunch of people.
2:49
We we. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
2:52
Let's get this.
2:53
Let's get this pronoun right here in the world of pronouns and correct usage of them.
2:58
Let's get this pronoun right.
2:59
And my family. OK. OK. Me and my family.
3:01
We rounded up a bunch of people.
3:02
And we did basically a mass.
3:06
I don't want to call it cyber bullying campaign towards anyone British.
3:11
But we did go on to every forum we could think of
3:14
and just spew hatred towards British.
3:17
Yeah. Talking about how we, you know, we we whooped their butts and
3:21
we could do it again. It was like a football.
3:23
It was like a football game.
3:24
It was basically that basically. Yeah.
3:25
And there were announcers and everything.
3:27
But there was a lot of trash talk back and forth between me and all these Brits.
3:31
What's some of the things that you would that you would say to them?
3:34
Just to just to get them, get them all mad.
3:36
Or they would say a tizzy.
3:38
Yeah, I'd get them in a tizzy.
3:40
Get a bit miffed, you know.
3:43
I don't know how you take British people seriously.
3:45
They sound like cartoon characters.
3:47
Is it an entire country full of butlers?
3:49
It's because that's kind of that's kind of what it seems.
3:52
Anytime I hear them speak, I'm like, yeah, but you're going to get me a water.
3:55
Yeah. I said light ice. Thankfully, we don't have.
4:03
We actually don't have any British listeners, so I'm hoping this cracks.
4:06
Cracks that. Yeah. Yeah.
4:08
That demographic for us.
4:10
Yeah. But basically the biggest one we'd spread is 1776 is the year
4:14
the year that the world really started. Yeah.
4:17
All pre-recorded history is trash.
4:19
Should it burn it?
4:20
And it honestly holds no value.
4:22
So anything 1776, mainly in America, is really the only history that we care about.
4:29
Yeah. OK. That's that's good.
4:30
That's one. And then they had this thing called Big Ben,
4:34
but it's really not that big.
4:35
It's not. And it's not even a person.
4:37
All right. It's like, why even name it?
4:38
So look at any of our buildings.
4:41
Pretty much any building we have is bigger than bigger and better.
4:44
Like, why are they going to call it Big Ben?
4:46
But it's like pretty mediocre.
4:47
I think you have weird names for foods.
4:49
Yeah. All cookies, biscuits.
4:51
It's a cookie. Fish and chips.
4:53
I mean, it's fries. Call it a cold fries.
4:56
Listen, they eat beans for breakfast.
4:59
Gosh, no wonder they lost.
5:00
They are malnourished. Beans.
5:04
They go, they wake up.
5:06
They go, I had I don't know a British term for sleeping,
5:09
but it's probably a nighty night sleep.
5:13
Yeah. And Tuesday, we're having beans after the nighty night sleep.
5:18
I went to Nottington town and now
5:21
I always got to go to hospital.
5:26
I will cause me body don't have vitamins.
5:32
I don't know why I've been eating coal since I was five.
5:37
Get roasted, Britain.
5:39
That's what this is for 1776.
5:41
This is for America.
5:43
Clean up your act.
5:44
We're on to you about Princess Di.
5:46
I'm going to come out and say it, but Brexit.
5:49
I think everybody else was hoping they would exit.
5:52
Yeah, they didn't. They're still there.
5:53
Yeah, we've already had our Brexit.
5:55
Yeah, we've got worked out well for us to 76.
5:58
That was that was United States Brexit right there.
6:00
God bless America.
6:02
You know what? Big Ben, I think about Ben Franklin.
6:09
That's the real Big Ben.
6:11
That's a hardworking blue collar.
6:13
America epitomizes what America is.
6:15
America epitomizes what America is about.
6:17
Just winning and being big.
6:21
Yeah, because of all that, we weren't able to upload.
6:23
We were busy celebrating what America is about, just conquering
6:26
countries, taking their oil, planting flags all around winning.
6:30
God, just just it's tough winning.
6:33
How do you upload a podcast and why you winning so much?
6:37
We were so America was so good at our Earth things.
6:41
We had to go to space. We went to the moon.
6:44
We were like, all our all our world had been conquered here.
6:47
We've got to we've got to play the flag.
6:49
It's kind of lame. It's we were bored of it.
6:52
Yeah. So we said, let's go everywhere else.
6:55
I bet I bet Neil Armstrong.
6:57
I know his famous line was small step for men, large leap for mankind.
7:02
Famous line. I bet you he wanted to say, I wish there were some Nazis up here
7:06
so we could beat them up here, too. Yeah. Amen.
7:09
Preach. All right.
7:11
There we go. The most patriotic introduction to questionable detour
7:15
I think we've ever had. Yeah.
7:16
And we're all three Canadian. So.
7:21
He. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
7:22
That's what's the boot.
7:26
All right. Well, welcome to questionable detour.
7:28
Let's do some hypotheticals.
7:29
Dave, can I pose a somewhat abstract, purely hypothetical question?
7:34
I guess I want to apologize for asking a hypothetical question.
7:37
Well, that's a hypothetical question.
7:40
All right. So we like to talk about how we have such a large, robust following.
7:47
Yeah. Not that our listenership or a bunch of large people.
7:51
They might be, though.
7:52
They could be. And we're OK with that, too.
7:54
Joseph writes, Hello, questionable detour.
7:57
Got stuck going to the movies with friends to watch a boring movie.
8:03
It got me wondering.
8:04
It got me wondering what you guys.
8:06
It got me wondering what you guys while you're at the movies. OK.
8:11
Joseph doesn't sound like he has a firm grasp on the English.
8:13
Anyway, spell check, Joe.
8:17
It got me wondering what you guys do while you're at the movies.
8:21
Anyway, keep up the good work, Joseph.
8:24
Well, Joseph, you sound very you sound like a fun guy complaining
8:27
about having friends and going to do stuff with your friends.
8:30
Yeah. I wish I knew what it was like to have.
8:33
Yeah, gosh, just a positive influence in my life.
8:36
We talk extensively about how we're all contractually obligated to be here.
8:40
So I get nothing emotionally from these two.
8:44
I just want to point that out.
8:45
All right. What do you all do? What do you all do with movie theaters?
8:47
Movie theaters have become less of a cultural thing
8:50
because of covid and everything streaming.
8:52
But people still go to the movies. I love going to the movies.
8:54
Yeah. What do you all what do you all what do you all do with the movies, too?
8:56
I got to say, the first thing I do is any time anyone in the movie
9:00
or even the trailers start in the trailers,
9:01
um, cracks a joke and there's no response from the crowd.
9:06
No laughter or anything.
9:07
Say, oh, that guy sucks.
9:09
Just scream it out of the top of your lungs.
9:11
Wait, if the person on the movie on the screen cracks a joke.
9:14
Yeah, yeah. And it's not funny.
9:16
Yeah. Then and no one laughs in the theater.
9:19
You just go, oh, that's so do you expect to get laughs from for sure?
9:23
It'll it'll break the room apart.
9:26
They'll all be dying laughing.
9:28
They'll pay you the money that they paid to go to the theater.
9:31
They'll divert those funds to you because you were the only entertainment that they saw.
9:35
This happens to you every every movie I go into a packed theater.
9:39
You go in, there's some somebody cracks a joke in the movie.
9:42
It's, you know, a little lackluster that didn't hit the joke.
9:44
And you just you you ridicule them.
9:47
Yeah. You react to pretty much anything that happens on the screen, too.
9:50
You don't stop there.
9:51
Do you also start cracking up, dying, laughing at weird moments in the movie
9:55
where it wasn't a joke? Yeah, like
9:58
any characters, mom dies.
10:00
Yeah, like somebody is dying from cancer and you're like,
10:03
you just start laughing your head off.
10:05
And then when you look around and you find that nobody else is laughing,
10:08
you ridicule them for not getting the joke. Yeah, exactly.
10:11
And you're like, oh, my God, it's just I guess it went over your head. Yeah.
10:15
And just be that guy.
10:18
You want to be that guy in a movie theater.
10:20
So what if the movie is genuinely funny?
10:23
Do you just pretend to be sad the whole time and cry?
10:26
Well, it's more of just like acting like it sucks.
10:29
Yeah, I bet. I bet it's a funny movie.
10:31
You witness all stepbrothers, something funny movie.
10:33
And you were like, I could do so much better than this. Yeah, exactly.
10:36
Yeah. You're like, oh, everybody's laughing.
10:39
You're just like, it's not that great.
10:42
It's OK. Yeah. You're like, you stand up.
10:44
No, I don't want to block the view. OK.
10:46
Well, no, I saw I was in the same theater that Evan was in
10:51
when we saw Stepbrothers. Are you lying, Evan?
10:53
We went together, but we set a couple of rows apart.
10:56
He didn't want to be seen with him.
10:58
No, he definitely did stand up.
11:01
He was like, what do you do when he stood up?
11:02
He's like, not that great. Not that great.
11:05
I got a stepbrother. We're funnier.
11:09
All right. I did lie to you. I do stand up.
11:12
I was trying to be cool, trying not to make it look like I'm,
11:15
you know, that cool of a person.
11:16
But I do stand up in theater and I do look around.
11:19
I make eye contact with everyone in the theater.
11:21
That's awkward. Yeah.
11:22
I if you're laughing, what happens if they try to avoid eye contact with you?
11:26
You run and try to get into their line of sight.
11:29
Hey, hey, it's it's not that funny.
11:31
Which is hey, stop laughing.
11:33
I've done better. This is not OK.
11:35
And then, you know, you just kind of feed them into it. Do you?
11:40
That must be difficult in a packed
11:42
movie theater with seats to try to get in the line of sight.
11:44
You're you're tripping over seats, falling over people.
11:48
I'm spraying popcorn everywhere, splashing out of people's laps,
11:51
you know, trying to get past them.
11:53
Drinks are spilling.
11:54
But I do what I have to do to make sure that people know that it's not that funny.
11:59
I say, oh, you should have read the book.
12:01
That gets it. I always get.
12:02
Yeah. Yeah.
12:03
If you think this is good.
12:05
You went to set for others and said you should have read the book.
12:07
Yeah. Just to seem like you're better.
12:10
Anything I can do to get a leg up on these people?
12:12
You any any situation that you really kind of get into?
12:15
You do seem like you force yourself to be the center of attention.
12:19
I wouldn't say that.
12:20
Just the other day, we and you went to the DMV
12:24
and we were in the long line of that government building.
12:27
And you said, man, it would suck if they saw my gun just to get everybody's attention.
12:31
That and I tried every number that they call.
12:34
I pretend like it's my number.
12:38
And I get to the top front of the line and I hand them the ticket, you know,
12:41
and they're like, this isn't the right number.
12:43
And I'm like, well, dang.
12:46
So I go back and sit down.
12:47
Happens every time they call the number.
12:49
Just laugh at them like they're joking, like you do.
12:51
Yeah, that's like we said a joke.
12:54
You turn around the line of like, did you get it?
12:56
You go get that joke.
12:57
The lady calls out like 21 and Evans like, what did you say?
13:00
Forty five.
13:02
So I'm next up. So I'm next.
13:04
So I was there with you.
13:07
You tried to jump in and photobomb the ID pictures
13:11
of people getting their IDs renewed.
13:12
Now, that's good humor.
13:15
Yeah, that's what it's what you do.
13:17
They're in front of that blue or green screen or whatever.
13:19
They take a picture of you do like little bunny ears behind their head.
13:22
Yeah, that are all like kick them in the back of the kneecaps.
13:25
So they fall to their knees and I was like, you know, throw my face in there.
13:29
So they decided to if they decided to go back and add that DMV scene
13:33
in step brothers, who's the who's the guy or girl at the DMV counter?
13:37
Probably Aziz Ansari. OK, OK.
13:40
That's a good pick. That's a good choice.
13:42
And the real DMV, you were upset that it wasn't an Indian person.
13:45
I was a white person. You're like, you could you could be more Indian, ma'am.
13:48
I do prefer to be served by Indian people,
13:51
but that's because they're just so hospitable and nice people.
13:55
And they they know how to get things done.
13:57
And that's that's my promotion for India.
13:59
Talk a lot about India. We do.
14:01
I like India. I like Indians.
14:05
Like more than you should or like a normal amount.
14:08
Like a fetish amount.
14:10
Listen, I like Indians.
14:13
I like the way that they look. Sure.
14:15
Do I like the way that they feel? Also, sure.
14:20
That's my answer. OK.
14:23
Oh, man. Well, I'm glad we went from the movies to the DMV situation.
14:28
Joseph, there's what Evan does at the DMV.
14:31
If you're insecure, just that's for free.
14:34
Try to try to be the center of attention at all times
14:36
to make yourself feel like you're important.
14:38
Evan was so excited. We were like, let's do a podcast.
14:41
You would be on. He's like, I get to talk into a mic.
14:44
People get to hear me.
14:46
I get so frustrated when you two talk and I'm not talking.
14:50
He's like foaming at the mouth in front of the mic.
14:52
You can't see it, but he's he's chomping at the bit to say
14:55
you can't see it either, but he's holding up the
14:57
give me a second finger every time we start talking.
14:59
I raise my hand like every every time I stop talking.
15:03
That immediately means my hand goes up.
15:06
All right, Alan, what do you do?
15:07
What do you do in the movies?
15:08
To keep my trip to the movies from being just completely lackluster,
15:13
I go and I buy a seat on every row and about every five or so minutes
15:18
crawl on all fours to that next seat.
15:21
I'll crawl over people sometimes, you know, excuse me, pardon me.
15:24
Sorry, I stuck my hand in your very large popcorn, you know, crawled in my seat.
15:29
I wait there for a couple of minutes.
15:30
I just and then I moved to the next one.
15:32
I just like the viewing option.
15:33
You like to get the option to see what angles better.
15:35
You want to see I like to be able to spend two hundred and forty dollars
15:41
at the not just not get any return on investment, just at the movies.
15:45
OK, movies.
15:46
I want to leave hungry, so I'm not spending that on snacks.
15:49
I'm just spending it on seats,
15:52
which is why you stick your hand in people's popcorn.
15:54
Yeah. Yeah. Quote unquote on accident.
15:56
That's right. That's right.
15:57
Because I can get it.
15:59
That's just financially smart.
16:02
That's fiscally responsible.
16:04
That's how you get that popcorn before we started recording.
16:06
We talked about Dave Ramsey.
16:09
We did. And his the Ram man and like his financial advice.
16:13
And I think Dave Ramsey would love that advice.
16:16
If don't pay for popcorn, sneak around.
16:19
Yeah. The theater and take it from people.
16:21
Yeah. Pay for a ton of seats.
16:24
Yeah. Don't pay for popcorn. Yeah.
16:28
That's called financial responsibility.
16:30
And what's cool is if you get in there ahead of time,
16:33
maybe somebody's left their their half drank drink.
16:35
Oh, great. Good. Near your seat.
16:37
I mean, if it's near your seat is yours.
16:38
So do you race the cleaning crew in there? Oh, yeah.
16:41
You see people coming out and you're like, I got to get in there.
16:43
What I do is I bring my own cleaning cart.
16:46
Oh, you become and I get a little momentum pushing that cart.
16:50
I jump on it, beat them through the door.
16:51
I'm I am rolling.
16:53
You know how the movie theaters kind of go downhill a little bit.
16:56
Yeah. A decline that just helps me out.
16:59
You're like running before me.
17:00
Like, don't worry, I got this boy. Yeah. Yeah. Who is that?
17:03
He doesn't.
17:04
He's wearing he's wearing an old, old lady's apron.
17:10
It doesn't even look like I look like I look like a housekeeper.
17:12
I've got on the big rubber gloves.
17:17
So independent contractor. So basically.
17:20
So basically, by the next movie, the next time, you know, this
17:24
that movie, it's whatever time is done.
17:25
You jump in front, you start cleaning, quote unquote.
17:28
That next movie is time comes up and starts to play.
17:31
It looks like you are a a rat getting ready for winter in all your seas.
17:36
Just you have a bunch of loose popcorn and that's right.
17:39
Half drank drinks.
17:41
If you're doing it right, you're starting from the top.
17:43
You're working your way down to the bottom.
17:45
You're going aisle by aisle.
17:47
You're not lollygagging. You're getting you're getting your job done.
17:49
You should come out there with probably a good Walmart bag
17:53
full of popcorn, like Jolly Ranchers. Yeah.
17:55
Little Reese's Pieces.
17:56
Oh, all of us have exited a movie and started stepping on all the leftover
18:00
popcorn and candies on the ground.
18:01
You've got you've got the full fixings.
18:04
When you're when you're there.
18:06
It's convenient that you called it a rat's like nest,
18:08
because you do have scraps of cardboard that you stack in each seat, too,
18:12
in case you make a mess and you can clean it up. That's right.
18:14
So it's just loose cardboard scraps, candy, other.
18:19
And so like what I'll do is I'll have like I'll divide it up
18:22
and I have like a popcorn seat up in the top.
18:24
Oh, you separate it? Yeah.
18:26
Then I've got like after I get it all mixed in the bag,
18:29
then I separate it into the cup holder.
18:32
So you're down at the bottom right and you're eating some popcorn
18:36
or the top left, however you want to do it.
18:37
And you go, man, I'm thirsty.
18:38
So then you have to crawl over a bunch of seats to get to the top.
18:42
Yeah. You get your drink. OK.
18:43
See, it seems efficient.
18:45
Sometimes if I if I'm feeling, you know, like I don't want to ruin a movie
18:48
for another guest, I'll just instead of crawling over them, I'll try and jump.
18:52
So I just completely miss them all together.
18:57
So, Alan, how do people usually handle your charades?
19:00
Your strategy, I should say, at a movie theater.
19:03
I'm going to say they they probably think it's OK that I'm going in there
19:07
and picking up stuff at first.
19:08
They're probably like, wow, that's kind of a good dude.
19:10
And then when they see me emptying it out into the cup holders,
19:13
they're probably like, what sort of what's what's his deal?
19:16
Why is he doing that?
19:18
The shenanigans are afoot.
19:19
But by the time that I'm just crawling over them and jumping over them
19:22
to get to my next seat, they're they're not amused.
19:26
It's kind of a horror type scene of you just kind of animalistically jumping
19:30
and bounding about to get to your next seat.
19:33
Yeah, yeah, it works.
19:35
It works really well in in horror movies.
19:38
I sort of provide jump scares where there are no jump scares. Yeah.
19:43
But yeah, so the way I handle a theater, if y'all know me and y'all do,
19:48
I'm very charitable. I help out with a lot of charities.
19:50
I I love helping the people that are down on their luck or, you know,
19:55
didn't have the same.
19:57
They weren't dealt the same car as I was.
19:59
And I work for an organization that helps out deaf and blind children.
20:04
And what I have started is a deaf and blind choir with these kids.
20:09
We sing in a choir. We sing all the hit, you know, any kind of old queen song,
20:13
you know, AC, DC, Metallica, only 80 rocks.
20:16
And now what I do is because these kids probably have never seen a movie,
20:21
I take them to the movie theaters and what I do mid movie.
20:24
We I'm sorry, Evan.
20:27
I kind of do.
20:27
I kind of made fun of you for trying to take over
20:29
and be the center of attention.
20:30
And it's like, it's exactly what I do.
20:32
But here's the difference is I do it for the kids.
20:36
You do it for yourself.
20:37
So I take these deaf and blind children that, you know, haven't experienced much.
20:41
I take them to the movies.
20:42
And once the movie starts getting boring, I say,
20:44
clap, I say, let's go, kids.
20:45
And we crawl over the seats and they're blind.
20:48
They don't know where they're going.
20:49
And we get to the front and we start singing our best hits.
20:52
Hold on. Can I pause you?
20:53
Yeah, I was going to bring something up to you.
20:55
Yeah, go ahead.
20:56
The deaf and blind kids.
20:57
Yeah. You clapped and said, come on, let's go.
21:00
It takes a minute to get them rounded up.
21:04
I feel like you'd have to go around and do some tapping.
21:06
Yeah. It's not really a clap.
21:08
You have to be careful with tapping, Evan, because they turn around and try to bite you.
21:11
You could. I have them on leashes.
21:14
That's really how I how I get them.
21:16
So I was about to say, because if you just stand there and say, OK, let's go.
21:20
You'd have to stand there for a very awkward because I walk down the front
21:23
and I turn around and nobody's with me.
21:25
So now I'm just standing at the front.
21:27
No, no, I've learned I have them on leashes.
21:29
So now it looks like I'm pulling a bunch of dogs that want to get away.
21:33
You know, you ever have a dog in a leashed and trying to pull some other direction.
21:36
It looks like that as I pull about 12 deaf and blind kids down to the front.
21:40
And we start singing a song, you know, and people tend to stay.
21:44
They feel obligated to probably. Right.
21:47
Yeah.
21:48
We tried to watch the new Indiana Jones movie, but now we feel bad for these kids.
21:54
Got to say and watch them.
21:55
First, we were feeling bad that they got 80 year old Harrison Ford out there.
21:59
Now we what's more sad?
22:01
And the kids are doing great, man.
22:04
They sound they sound good.
22:05
Their voices are getting a lot better.
22:08
I think you knew this was probably coming.
22:10
What do they sound like?
22:11
Um, have you ever heard a trumpet that's been muted?
22:14
Something stuck on the end of it?
22:15
Yeah. Yeah.
22:16
The mute on the end of it.
22:17
Kind of like that.
22:18
OK.
22:18
Now they sing.
22:20
They sound great.
22:21
You don't know what song they're singing.
22:22
We're still trying to still trying to help them out.
22:25
They've never even heard the song.
22:26
They've never heard the song.
22:28
The only thing they have done is come up and touch my lips while I sing it.
22:33
And I.
22:35
It's a weird thing to happen at the front of the movie theater is they're trying to
22:39
figure out what song they're singing.
22:40
So I have 12 kids gathered around me at the front of the movie and they're just kind of
22:44
touching on my face while I have mouthed the words to the song.
22:47
Wow.
22:48
And then, you know, we line them up, you know, some of them are facing the wrong direction.
22:56
You know, but.
22:58
Well, it sounds a lot like an a cappella group where, you know, some kids are singing the
23:02
word, some kids are doing the harmonies, some kids are doing the melodies.
23:05
We have one kid, very rotund fellow, deaf and blind, but does a great bass line and
23:11
he just he can hit those low notes, hit the low octaves.
23:14
So, you know, you know how a lot of a cappella groups have like an ironically funny name?
23:20
We're the Helen killers.
23:23
Because we kill every event we're at.
23:26
I we do so well.
23:27
The mood, maybe.
23:28
Yeah.
23:29
Yeah, we it's not great.
23:33
We've been to a few jazz clubs where a lot of people are going on first dates and I don't
23:37
think I don't think a lot of those get a second date.
23:40
But I mean, if you all want to buy tickets, you know, do we have to be like, I want to
23:45
participate.
23:45
Do you have to be blind and deaf?
23:47
Yeah, you have to be blind and deaf.
23:48
Now you can volunteer for the Helen killers and be there, be their face that they need
23:54
to touch to learn music.
23:56
OK, you can volunteer and just stand in one place and let them touch all over your face
24:00
while you mouth words.
24:01
Have you ever thought about Braille for the kids instead of your face?
24:05
We're big on that reading.
24:06
OK, are you just wanting to keep these kids solely dependent on you?
24:11
Do these kids have a heightened sense of smell?
24:16
They they did.
24:17
They do.
24:18
Um, we were at a gig just just last weekend.
24:21
I got booked for Bar Mitzvah.
24:22
And we started singing and, you know, one of the kids, you heard him sniffing.
24:28
He sounded like a pug after it got done running.
24:30
And he asked me, does he know?
24:33
I told him, I said, Timmy, that's to keep the vampires away.
24:38
This is the rotund fellow.
24:39
This is the rotund.
24:40
Why is every Timmy in your mind rotund?
24:43
It's the way he talks.
24:45
Yeah.
24:45
And he was out of breath.
24:46
He was like, I'm going to go to the bathroom.
24:48
I'm going to go to the bathroom.
24:49
It was the way he talks, and he was out of breath.
24:52
He was the one that asked about food.
24:56
Great baseline.
24:57
The great thing, man, can hit that low register so well.
25:01
Now, is that why they're tugging at the leash so hard?
25:04
Is because they're trying to sniff everything around them like a dog?
25:08
It looks like I have trained bomb dogs in the airport.
25:12
They're just kind of they're kind of they'll come up to you and sniff you.
25:15
Just put their nose right on your shoulder and inhale about as hard.
25:19
Your shirt gets sucked up by like a vacuum.
25:21
Is that cute or is that like?
25:23
I think it's for you to decide.
25:26
That's subjective.
25:27
I've you know, I think it's adorable.
25:29
Oh, I'm sure you do.
25:30
I have a 12 month calendar with just pictures of them just
25:35
assaulting people.
25:37
What month is Timmy?
25:39
It's got to be a cold month because you don't want to be around him in the hot summer months.
25:43
Sweats.
25:43
Well, they ain't got the meat sweat.
25:50
But, you know, buy tickets.
25:51
Helen, the Helen killers are we're going to be at.
25:55
Do you only perform in movie theaters or do you do?
25:58
No, no, we perform most places.
26:00
Like I said, last week, we performed at a bar mitzvah.
26:03
Oh, that's right.
26:04
And just if I decide if we happen to be at the movies, we'll also perform there.
26:10
Just because if the movie is boring, the people need the people
26:13
need entertainment.
26:14
We give what the people want.
26:16
I think Joseph, you know, we don't know a ton about him, but I think we know that he
26:20
doesn't like a boring movie.
26:21
I think he would rather listen to the Helen killers.
26:25
He would he would appreciate Joseph keep going to movies.
26:27
We might end up you'll see us.
26:29
You'll know it's us.
26:30
If you see a guy walk in with 12 kids attached to 12 different leashes and those kids are
26:36
bouncing off walls like a fly in a house, you'll know it's the Helen killers.
26:41
If you see 12 kids that look like they're the only senses they're relying on or touch
26:46
and smell, we're near.
26:49
You've either found Zack and the Helen killers or a guy that's releasing prison dogs to
26:56
go find an escaped convict.
26:59
Gives me an idea for our Halloween costume.
27:03
I guess that those are your answers there.
27:06
Yeah, for Joseph, you can either.
27:08
I guess you could find 12 kids that are deaf and blind.
27:11
You could.
27:12
They don't have to be deaf and blind when you find them, I don't think.
27:18
I think that's up to you.
27:21
A sharp pencil will help you arrive to the conclusion that I've arrived.
27:26
But yeah, there you go, Joseph.
27:28
All right.
27:29
What's the next hypothetical?
27:30
All right.
27:30
So the next hypothetical is how do you handle a home intruder in your house?
27:34
We've talked a lot about intruding in other people's homes.
27:37
I don't think we've talked about what we would do if somebody broke into our house, our sanctuary.
27:42
Usually we're the people breaking and entering.
27:48
I think us three as individuals like to hold power.
27:52
There's nothing that makes you feel more powerful than breaking into somebody's home.
27:56
So what do you do if somebody breaks into your house?
27:58
Well, all that being said, I am pretty, you know, in search of a friend.
28:04
Yeah.
28:04
Pretty open to new people.
28:05
But as soon as the person that breaks into your house does not know what he's getting into,
28:11
he's crying and joy.
28:13
I do.
28:15
I just break down in tears.
28:18
You cannot believe a friend is here in your house.
28:21
They've come to me for once.
28:23
I just get overwhelmed with joy.
28:25
I'm like a dog.
28:25
I start barking out of joy.
28:29
And I just run up to the guy and I'm just barking my head off.
28:31
I'm jumping on him, you know, like a dog.
28:33
So you pretend to be a dog.
28:34
Basically, yeah, like a man's best friend is what they call it.
28:36
You don't know how to handle your emotions.
28:38
Very strong emotions.
28:39
No, no, no.
28:40
If I feel anything more than a laugh, then I go straight to dog.
28:47
I assume that when this person breaks into your house, he breaks in, starts flashing his
28:53
flashlight around and he just sees rudely put together dummies, you know, maybe a pillow with
28:59
a pumpkin on top of its head with a smiley face around the table as if you set up a tea party.
29:05
Yeah, that's Jethro.
29:08
And you have made just friends out of just random assortment of items and you've,
29:13
you know, you've had tea parties with them.
29:15
And that's not a tea party.
29:17
Jethro, he's allergic to tea.
29:19
Oh, okay.
29:20
Well, it's a wine and cheese party.
29:23
Oh, fancy.
29:24
Yeah, we have a lot of you have a charcuterie board.
29:26
We have many charcuterie boards.
29:27
Now, what do you think that the home intruder thinks as he breaks into your house and starts
29:34
looking around and it's just a bunch of crudely put together dummies set up in situations?
29:39
Well, assuming he has the same intentions as I do when I break into somebody's house,
29:43
he was thinking that he was going to break in and maybe only get one friend.
29:48
But he breaks in and he realizes he's got a whole table of friends,
29:53
a whole wine and cheese party of friends.
29:56
Wow.
29:56
Now, I'm going to ask this and I expect the honest truth.
29:59
I expect an honest answer here.
30:01
That would give you no.
30:01
Does he break in and see other robbers that have previously broken tied up around the table?
30:07
Yeah.
30:08
In the, at the, at the wine and cheese party.
30:10
Well, yeah, but that's, that's for their own safety.
30:13
That's not because I'm, you know, doing anything weird with them.
30:16
You're holding, yeah, you're not holding them hostage.
30:17
I just don't want them to feel like they've lost a friend when they leave.
30:21
Yeah.
30:21
So I don't let them leave.
30:22
Yeah. So I know what it feels like to leave and feel like you've lost a friend
30:27
because you're not with them anymore.
30:28
So it gets lonely out there.
30:30
Are they all still alive?
30:31
Do we have like mummified remains around the table?
30:34
It depends on who's asking.
30:35
Okay.
30:36
I'm asking.
30:37
They all still move.
30:38
Oh, record mortis hasn't set in for anybody.
30:41
How do they still move?
30:42
Do you have on their own volition?
30:45
Hopefully.
30:46
Do you come up behind them and stick your arms between their arms and torso
30:50
and you pretend like you're their arms?
30:52
Yeah.
30:53
Maybe you tie a couple strings to a ceiling fan or a door and you open and close the door
30:57
and somehow that moves their arms and legs like a marionette doll.
31:01
Yeah.
31:01
That as a person that often breaks into people's houses,
31:05
that would be the most horrific thing to walk into is to walk into
31:09
a bunch of crudely made dummies, a few dead previous robbers,
31:13
and maybe a couple barely living ones just kind of moaning and asking for water.
31:17
No one's been confirmed dead because I haven't checked their pulse.
31:20
Yeah.
31:22
You make it easy for robbers to break into your house for this exact reason.
31:26
I leave my door cracked.
31:28
Maybe you leave out high price value items boxes out on the front porch
31:32
to let people know you have valuable things.
31:34
Yeah.
31:34
I leave all my jewelry just sitting on the counter and in plain view in front of a window.
31:40
I have a sign out front of my house that says I have a lot of valuable things.
31:45
Well, you actually you stand out on your on your porch and you kind of sort of proclaim,
31:50
can't believe I've got these family heirlooms here.
31:53
Yeah.
31:54
These jewels are so big.
31:55
I have to use both hands.
31:57
Oh my gosh.
31:57
I can't wait to watch my 85 inch TV.
32:00
Yeah.
32:00
I say, oh man, do I have the Midas touch because everything in my house is made of gold.
32:06
And then now I drove by the other day and you were like,
32:09
dang, I hope my grandma doesn't die tomorrow and leave me all of her money.
32:14
Yeah.
32:15
I say she has a vast wealth.
32:17
I would hate to inherit that.
32:18
Uh-huh.
32:18
And then you reach in and you flip a light switch and all of a sudden they're just a
32:22
dummy grandma and she's just waving in the window.
32:27
She had, there's like a little tube, air tube coming off of it.
32:29
Yeah.
32:30
And then I kind of just like in plain view unplug it.
32:33
Sure.
32:33
You're your fake grandma for possible robbers.
32:37
Oh no.
32:40
Oh no, I'm going to inherit it all this money.
32:42
Hey.
32:45
So how many robbers a week do you normally get?
32:48
How many new friends do you normally get?
32:50
I should ask.
32:51
The numbers have gone down over the years.
32:53
Yeah.
32:53
At first there, it was probably like, you know, four a month and as I kind of weeded
32:57
those out, they, I wasn't able to gain more new friends because all the people that wanted
33:03
to be friends, you know, that pool went down.
33:06
So the number of people went down.
33:07
Yeah.
33:08
You've saturated the market with friends and also the words probably out to other
33:13
people that might rob your house.
33:14
Don't go to that guy's house.
33:16
You will go in and never come out.
33:18
Yeah.
33:18
When the robbers meet up at the Chili's, you know, before work and they're all kind
33:23
of talking about what they're going to, what places they're going to hit.
33:26
Eventually there's not going to be as many people at that table and they're going to
33:29
think, well, man, where, where does he say he went?
33:32
Where's Rob?
33:33
Rob the robber.
33:34
Rob the robber.
33:35
Yeah, the last guy that came in, he did say that he said he knew better.
33:38
Um, he said he knew he shouldn't have done this.
33:40
He was just looking for a big hit.
33:42
Um, he saw it in the, the robbers newsletter that goes out every Wednesday, um, that this
33:48
is not a house you want to mess with, which I don't get.
33:50
I'm just looking for friends.
33:51
I'm not trying to endanger anybody.
33:53
Yeah.
33:53
He said there was a whole article that came out about me and do you subscribe to the
33:57
robber newsletter?
33:58
I bet you do.
33:59
I do.
33:59
That's called market research.
34:01
Yeah.
34:01
I want to know what everybody's up to.
34:03
How, what's the best way to lure people?
34:05
Yeah, there you go.
34:06
Yeah.
34:07
Profiling.
34:08
Yeah.
34:08
You know, you got to set out on honey if you want to catch a few ants or whatever you
34:12
catch with honey.
34:13
Yeah.
34:13
Yeah.
34:13
You got it.
34:14
You got it.
34:14
I mean, you're probably better at catching intruders than ants.
34:19
There you go.
34:19
Yeah.
34:20
Or flies or any kind of insect, really.
34:21
Just try to get the best looking, best smelling honey out there.
34:24
Well, uh, Alan and I will come over and we'll have a wine and cheese party with all your,
34:29
all your quote unquote friends.
34:31
I just hope there's enough seating space for it.
34:33
Yeah.
34:33
There's a lot of bodies.
34:35
Yeah.
34:36
I'd like to have two more friends.
34:38
They're borderline zombies at this point, but they, they do have to urinate a lot.
34:42
They drink a lot of wine.
34:44
Okay.
34:44
A lot of wine.
34:45
Is that because you're force feeding them wine?
34:47
Hey, I wouldn't say force.
34:49
You're saying you're using a lot of words that make me seem like a bad guy.
34:53
I would say yes, there is a funnel attached to their mouth and I-
34:57
You're just showing them a good time.
34:58
Yeah.
34:59
I do funnel wine into their mouth.
35:01
Yeah.
35:02
Okay.
35:02
Okay.
35:02
Seems like you answered the question.
35:04
Yeah.
35:04
If anybody needs a house of Rob, go to Evan's.
35:07
I hear the wine and cheese party is hopping.
35:10
Mine needs a new friend.
35:11
Yeah.
35:11
If you make a friend with Evan, you make a friend with about 12 other people too.
35:15
Yeah. He comes with an entourage.
35:18
Some of them talk a lot more than the others.
35:21
All right, Alan, what do you do when an intruder enters into your house?
35:25
When an intruder breaks into my house, fumbling with the door, they're jimmying the lock.
35:30
They open it to a dark room.
35:32
I flip on the light switch and I'm immediately like, okay, I'm glad you're here.
35:35
You, much like Evan, you meet them at the door.
35:38
Yeah.
35:39
I meet him there.
35:40
I said, guys, I'm happy you're here.
35:45
We've got a problem.
35:46
Oh gosh.
35:47
And I take them over to the floor where I show them a dead body.
35:50
Oh my God.
35:52
We have an issue here at the Questionable Detour podcast.
35:56
We've admitted to a lot of crimes today.
35:58
Okay, they break in, you meet them at the door in a frantic, frenzy.
36:03
In a huff.
36:05
You show them a dead body.
36:06
I'm like, guys, we're in big trouble.
36:08
We killed him.
36:11
You gaslight them into thinking they were part of the murder?
36:13
Yes.
36:14
You say this blood is on our hands.
36:15
Yeah.
36:16
I start using a lot of plural terminology indicating that they were involved in this murder.
36:25
You knew the robber's name before.
36:27
Yeah.
36:27
And it says, Jimmy did this.
36:31
I just start calling him Rob because technically that's not wrong because he is a robber.
36:34
He's a robber, yeah.
36:35
So he thinks, oh, okay, well, yeah, he knows me.
36:39
Maybe I am complicit in this.
36:41
And I just kind of start painting events that me and this robber went through prior to this
36:46
person's murder.
36:48
And just basically gaslighting him into thinking that he helped me commit this crime.
36:54
You gaslight them in general too, as if you're in a relationship with them.
36:57
You just basically gaslight them completely.
36:59
Yeah.
36:59
Yeah.
36:59
Yeah, you make...
37:00
I do.
37:01
Yeah, they come in and you show them the dead body and they're like, what are you talking about?
37:08
I just got here and you're like, how dare...
37:11
It was a joke.
37:12
You can't take a joke.
37:14
Yeah, they're freaking out because you're pinning a murder on them.
37:18
And you're like, you're overreacting.
37:20
He's like, everyone agrees with me.
37:26
He's like, oh, you slowly, you start breaking his psyche down and you do your job at gaslighting
37:33
He's like, and you say, I don't know what you want me to say right now.
37:36
I don't know what's right.
37:38
And then I get, I'm like, well, come over here and look at us.
37:41
I bring him close to the body and obviously they're freaking out.
37:45
And I'm like, don't blame me.
37:47
I never meant to hurt you.
37:49
I never meant to bring you into this.
37:51
This is, you started this.
37:53
Don't make me do this again, baby.
37:55
Blame them.
37:56
I'm only, I only went along with it because I was in the car with you.
38:01
Yeah.
38:02
And you start, you start blaming them for the whole thing.
38:04
And then you're like, why can't you be more like your brother?
38:09
He takes responsibility for the things that he does.
38:11
He takes ownership over his actions.
38:13
Why can't you be more like Tim?
38:15
You know, he starts freaking out.
38:16
You say, stop exaggerating.
38:18
That's not true.
38:20
I never said that.
38:21
And I'm like, okay, I think you might need professional help.
38:25
You should, you should see someone.
38:27
And then at the end of it, you're like, let's just forgive and forget.
38:30
Okay.
38:30
Yeah.
38:32
Oh, it's well.
38:33
There's still a dead body in the living room, but I'm just trying to,
38:38
trying to blame this all on, on him.
38:40
But before long you had it home invader, but eventually you just have somebody
38:45
you're in a relationship with.
38:46
You just broken them down and you're just kind of dating a very,
38:50
a very insecure person at that point.
38:53
And we, you know, eventually emotionally, they'll, they'll fight back maybe.
38:58
And they'll say, you know, well, maybe we should go talk to somebody.
39:04
You know, we're standing top of the dead body, you know,
39:07
Just sitting on top of like a surfing pose.
39:10
Yeah.
39:14
You know, maybe we should, maybe we should talk to somebody about it.
39:16
And at this point, they're just mad that I keep blaming stuff on them.
39:19
They're like, yeah, I'll talk to somebody.
39:20
Who, who do you want to talk to?
39:22
You blame them about anything that goes on in the house.
39:24
They're just spilled drink and you're like, why did you do that?
39:27
Yeah.
39:28
I'm like, are you serious?
39:29
Are there, there are dishes?
39:30
What are they going to watch themselves?
39:31
Cat litter boxes and empty.
39:33
And you're like, I asked you to do this yesterday.
39:36
Am I the only person in the house that knows how to take the trash out?
39:40
Some of the blood wasn't spilled off or cleaned up off the ground from where it's
39:44
leaked from his body.
39:44
And I'm like, what do you mean you didn't clean this up?
39:47
You knew I was going to say something about it.
39:51
Sometimes I wonder why I'm still with you.
39:53
You know, I could do so much better.
39:56
I could do so.
39:57
Oh man.
39:58
So between you and Evan, it makes me question as somebody that enjoys breaking in a rank,
40:04
whose house I would rather go to?
40:06
Would I rather go to Evan's house who will hold me hostage where I eventually starve
40:11
and die of thirst or do I go to Alan's house?
40:14
And while I will live longer, what kind of life will I live being broken down emotionally?
40:20
Both houses, you're going to find yourself in deeply committed relationships.
40:27
They will not be good.
40:29
You're both in deeply committed relationships.
40:31
That is true.
40:32
But at least at Evan's house, you are no longer in the relationship.
40:35
Evan's still in the relationship with you after you pass.
40:39
But at least, you know, you get out of that a little bit quicker.
40:41
And maybe that's why I would maybe break into Evan's house first.
40:44
I appreciate that.
40:45
It would be rough.
40:46
I'd love to have you.
40:48
I'd love to have you.
40:49
And by have, you literally mean I would love to have you.
40:54
I would love to possess you.
40:58
But back to you, Alan.
40:59
I do have a question.
41:00
How often does your house get invaded?
41:03
Because that means you just have to have a dead body on the ready.
41:06
That is true.
41:07
That is true.
41:08
I'm I'm a big in with a neighborhood watch in my neighborhood.
41:12
So when there starts to be a string of break ins, I immediately know.
41:16
Now is that just a giant clock?
41:18
What's that?
41:18
The neighborhood watch.
41:19
The neighborhood watch.
41:20
Yes.
41:21
Yes.
41:23
Oh, it's like a second for me to wrap my head.
41:25
Yeah, the neighborhood watch.
41:27
Everybody just has in the center.
41:28
There's a lot.
41:29
The neighborhood watch is this giant watch clock statue in the middle of the neighborhood.
41:35
And whenever robberies happen, people come and they nail a note to the statue
41:41
that says robbery happened last night.
41:44
Things stolen.
41:45
And they just itemize the list.
41:48
And basically, it's a copy and paste from what they sent to the insurance and the police.
41:51
But they just they nail it to the neighborhood watch.
41:54
They nail it into a metal or stone sculpture.
41:56
Yeah.
41:57
Yeah.
41:58
Not very smart people in your neighborhood.
41:59
Well, no, they're not.
42:00
They're not the best.
42:01
It's a gated community of the elderly.
42:03
OK.
42:03
OK.
42:05
They are losing it.
42:06
You find a lot of the notes on the ground next to the statue.
42:09
Yeah.
42:10
But you know, when I find that there's a little bit of criminal activity in the neighborhood,
42:15
I immediately have to go out and find that dead body.
42:17
Yeah.
42:18
Well, if it's an elderly neighborhood that you live in, you might not have to murder the people.
42:22
You could just happen upon somebody that has ended.
42:25
Their life is ended naturally.
42:26
You're a step in the right direction.
42:28
And I will obviously break into their home, step one, cycle, dress sort of as a nurse.
42:39
Now you break into their home and the next day you go to the neighborhood watch
42:44
and nailed on the neighborhood watch.
42:46
It tells about a break in the happen last night.
42:49
And one of the itemized things that were stolen was Graham Graham.
42:53
Yeah, it was you.
42:54
It's like one old VCR, you know, a lazy boy and mamal.
43:11
I think you have to tell on yourself.
43:14
But that's the perfect way to dissuade people from looking at you.
43:19
You broke into somebody else's house, but you're going to be the one to tell them what was stolen.
43:23
Nobody's ever going to look at you, but you take that old person's body.
43:28
They're probably on their last leg anyways, you know.
43:30
Well, they're dead.
43:31
So, right.
43:32
They're dead first.
43:33
Or do you take them while they're still alive?
43:34
You find the people in hospice care.
43:36
Yes.
43:36
Okay.
43:37
Okay.
43:37
I got you.
43:37
Just sort of grim reaper them into my home.
43:43
You walk in with a sight.
43:45
How often do you have a home intruder and
43:48
Gam Gam didn't die quite as soon as you needed her to.
43:51
And she's just kind of on the floor labored breathing more often than I'd like.
43:58
You're like, you helped me kill this person.
43:59
The robbers like she's not even dead.
44:02
That brings up a, you know, I just, I have to double down on gas.
44:06
Like now I just say, I knew that's what you'd say.
44:09
You always say this.
44:11
You're, you're, you're kind of, you're letting your emotions get the best of you right now.
44:15
She's obviously dead.
44:16
If you want to criticize me for what we did when it was your idea.
44:22
Yeah.
44:23
I mean, that's a, that's, that's, that's a good, your neighborhood sounds very exciting.
44:27
Yeah.
44:28
Yeah.
44:28
Well, you have a whole statue.
44:30
Somebody that likes to break in.
44:32
It makes me worry and worry about the next house I'm going to break into.
44:36
Cause it could be somebody like you too.
44:38
Yeah.
44:38
Yeah.
44:40
I like to move around a lot too.
44:42
So you never know which house you're going to be.
44:46
Yeah.
44:47
We're going to come up on probably our other than hypotheticals, which is our really foundational
44:52
segment, we're going to come up on our second most popular segment.
44:56
It's that's giving advice to people in need.
44:58
I think it would be irresponsible for us to not impart wisdom on the world.
45:05
And you know, like uncle Ben said, and Spiderman with great power comes great responsibility.
45:11
We really hope both.
45:13
And I think it would be a shame not to give that out to everybody else.
45:16
So let's, let's give a couple people in need, some advice.
45:25
I need help.
45:26
All right.
45:26
So our first piece of advice here, first question.
45:30
Hi, questionable detour.
45:31
I'm Harris and I'm from Nebraska.
45:33
Been listening to your podcast and I think you are really funny and I need some advice.
45:37
And since you guys give great advice, I wanted to, I wanted you to weigh in on the situation.
45:42
I'm taking a summer class for college and failed a test.
45:45
How should I go about asking for extra credit or to make up for it?
45:49
Really hope you guys answer on the podcast.
45:51
Thanks.
45:52
Well, Harris, don't beg.
45:53
Okay.
45:53
Well, if we get to your advice, you know, if we feel it necessary to impart grace on you,
45:59
we will.
46:00
And luckily, we'll get to it when we get to it.
46:02
Yeah, that's right.
46:02
And that's right now.
46:04
Luckily, we were, we filtered through so many different things, Harris,
46:12
hair bear, if you will.
46:13
For us, for us three, Harris, we've never felt a test.
46:16
I think we all had 4.0s in every academic level that we've been to.
46:21
So we don't know what that's like, but we understand how to interact with humans.
46:25
Yeah.
46:25
So how would you guys ask for extra credit from a teacher?
46:28
Maybe after you've bombed a test.
46:31
If I was going to give you any advice, Harris, it's this.
46:34
If you're going to grovel to a teacher for extra credit or a way to make up for your past mistakes,
46:40
such as failing a test, I don't care who your teacher is.
46:43
Wear as little clothing as you can get away with.
46:46
Absolutely.
46:47
It's great.
46:47
I was going to go there too.
46:48
It's a great advice.
46:49
Yeah.
46:49
The shortest shorts by the name Harris, I'm assuming your male that may be big in 2023,
46:54
but the smallest top you can wear.
46:57
I hear baby gap is a great place to buy clothes to grovel to a teacher.
47:03
Yeah.
47:03
I don't mean clothes that have been cut off.
47:06
I mean, clothes that were made very small, like they wouldn't fit your body,
47:11
like something from a baby gap.
47:12
Yeah.
47:13
Or an infant store.
47:14
Yeah.
47:14
Try to fit in those bad boys.
47:18
And then make your way up to your class.
47:19
Even the shoes, even wear like little shoes.
47:21
Oh yeah.
47:22
Just fit your size 10 or 11 feet into maybe a two or a three or five.
47:28
I don't know what the smarts.
47:29
Two to five year old or however they measure baby clothes.
47:31
Yeah.
47:32
Try to try to get one on each toe or something.
47:37
And walk into your professor's office, like the weird little clown that you are.
47:41
Each leg.
47:43
You couldn't fit the baby shorts on one leg, so maybe shorts on each leg.
47:47
Yeah.
47:48
The weird little clown makeup, that clown outfit you have on.
47:51
You want them to wear clown makeup too?
47:52
No, not the makeup.
47:53
Don't wear makeup.
47:54
That's too far.
47:55
Okay.
47:56
I'm glad we know where the line is.
47:57
Yeah.
47:58
I just meant the outfit that you're wearing.
48:00
Head into their office and really just get down on your hands and knees and beg
48:04
from the bottom of your heart.
48:05
Say I don't have much to live for.
48:07
Just a bunch of baby clothes.
48:08
Yeah, just all I have on me is the clothes on my back.
48:12
It's barely.
48:12
The baby clothes on my back.
48:14
Barely on your back.
48:15
You turn too quickly and it probably pops off like a rubber band.
48:20
Exactly.
48:21
And that will garner all kinds of sympathy because he'll be like,
48:23
you don't have a lot of clothes on your back.
48:25
If that's all you have, then you need a better grade.
48:28
You need some way out of this.
48:30
If you were a teacher, Evan, would you give your student extra credit if that were their tactic?
48:35
100%.
48:36
Especially if they were.
48:37
You would give them 100%?
48:39
No.
48:39
Oh, no, no, no.
48:42
I made duck points before I do give them extra credit just because they did this whole show.
48:47
But it is worth it to get the extra credit.
48:50
Yeah, you may get some more.
48:51
You lose five points, but you gain 10.
48:53
Exactly.
48:54
Or you just lose a lot of points and you only gain some, which is okay.
49:00
You only ask how to get extra credit.
49:02
Yeah.
49:03
So that, and if they, especially if they slip me like a 20, then they're in the clear.
49:09
So I guess that's my next advice is just let them pay them off.
49:14
But definitely wear baby clothes.
49:16
Baby clothes is a must.
49:17
It's the first step.
49:18
The money won't work if you don't wear the baby clothes.
49:21
It's how you break them down so you can build them back up with the money.
49:23
I got you.
49:24
I just imagine you pay them in coins, but you can see every coin in the pocket because the
49:29
shorts are on so tight.
49:31
You can only get one coin out.
49:32
And at a time too, you're like slowly putting it on his desk.
49:36
The teacher knows exactly how much money is in your pocket before you take it out of the
49:39
pocket.
49:40
That's how tight those clothes are.
49:42
My advice, Harris is, you know, failing sucks.
49:46
There's nothing that makes you feel worse as a person than failing.
49:49
And that's, it's on tests and that's in life as well.
49:51
And I would try to make your teacher fail.
49:54
Now your teacher's not taking tests such as you, but you need to bring him down to your level,
49:59
your failure level.
50:00
You failed a test.
50:02
Your failure.
50:03
So here's what I would do.
50:04
Since he doesn't take tests and you can't make him fail a test, I would make him fail
50:08
in the rest of his life.
50:09
Fail at home with his wife.
50:10
Maybe his wife asks him to take the trash out.
50:13
He does.
50:13
He's a good guy.
50:14
Your teacher's a good guy.
50:15
He's a professor at a college.
50:16
It's impressive.
50:17
No, no.
50:17
He takes the trash out.
50:18
They go to bed.
50:19
You take the trash from the outside trash can take it back into his house.
50:23
That way the next morning, his wife wakes up.
50:25
The trash was never taken out.
50:26
Gets mad at your professor.
50:27
You know, maybe his wife asked him to pick up the kids from school after work.
50:32
Well, he does because again, he's a good guy.
50:34
He's not like you.
50:35
He didn't fail.
50:35
Kidnap his kid.
50:36
Take him back to the school.
50:39
That way it seems like he never picked up his kids.
50:43
No, that's some advice that we do give on this podcast.
50:46
That's kidnap people's kids.
50:48
But no, that any advice where you're degrading a person's life outside of the situation
50:54
that you're in.
50:55
That's any advice I can get behind.
50:56
Honestly, it works in a lot of situations.
50:59
Maybe his wife asked him to mow the lawn.
51:01
He does.
51:02
Again, not a failure like you.
51:03
Get all the grass clippings.
51:05
Put it all back on the lawn.
51:06
That's it.
51:07
Min that grass back together.
51:08
Yeah.
51:09
Take scotch tape.
51:11
Each blade of grass.
51:13
Tape the grass together.
51:14
Yep.
51:16
So it looks like he...
51:16
That'll get him.
51:17
Yeah.
51:17
It looks as if he has never mowed the lawn.
51:20
We don't have other situations.
51:22
We really don't want you to be brought down on your own.
51:26
If you're going down, bring that teacher down with you.
51:29
Yeah, exactly.
51:30
But anyway, what that will do, Harris, is eventually your professor will be broken down
51:35
to the point where they no longer have any confidence in who they are.
51:40
So when you come groveling for extra credit, they'll just give it to you
51:44
because they see themselves as a complete failure.
51:46
I'm sure at this point they have been divorced
51:49
or at least the papers have been sent to them.
51:51
You probably will see it on their desk, the papers.
51:53
And they'll give you that extra credit and maybe just kind of push the papers a little closer to them
51:57
and be like, probably want to sign that and just leave.
51:59
You'll know you're good when you can sit in your seat in the class
52:04
and smell the menthol cigarettes from your desk.
52:08
You'll know exactly when to lay that on.
52:12
That's the sweet spot.
52:14
But yeah, make them fail outside in their life and eventually you will succeed in yours.
52:20
That's the way life works.
52:21
If you can step on other people to reach your goals, you'll eventually find success.
52:26
You have to bring other people down to build yourself up.
52:29
Gosh, where's the QD stamp for that?
52:31
Where's the QD guarantee?
52:33
Oh yeah, gosh.
52:34
All right, Alan, what advice do you give to Harris?
52:37
Harris, if you didn't study for that test, if you ended up failing
52:42
and it was just a mistake on your part, you won't do it again, you're a good guy.
52:46
Go up to your teacher, ask for extra credit,
52:48
tell them you didn't have time to study because you had a death in the family.
52:52
Invite that teacher to a funeral.
52:54
Obviously you didn't have a family member die, you forgot to study
52:56
because you were up late watching young Sheldon.
53:00
But Harris deserves to fail.
53:02
Harris deserves to fail if he's watching that.
53:05
Just tell them off the bat, your grandfather died.
53:07
Go to the local funeral home, take your teacher with him, say, I'll be right back.
53:11
I've got to go stand with my family.
53:13
You go stand up there by a stranger's dead body with a stranger's family
53:16
and you start consoling people as they come up to you.
53:19
Sorry for your loss.
53:20
I'm so sorry.
53:21
Thank you for coming.
53:21
It's good to see you.
53:23
Hadn't seen you since college.
53:24
Good to see you.
53:25
Your professor sees you mingling with people who aren't your family
53:29
and he thinks, man, well, again, it's a he.
53:32
Yeah, obviously.
53:33
Obviously, it's a he.
53:34
He thinks, you know what, this guy, he's really in a predicament here.
53:38
He's got a dead family member.
53:39
I'm sure that's the reason why he failed this test.
53:42
Doesn't matter that the family's black.
53:45
We assume Harris is white.
53:46
We assume Harris is white.
53:47
What a lot of assumptions here.
53:50
Harris is from Nebraska.
53:51
Harris is from Nebraska.
53:53
I think that's a pretty safe assumption.
53:55
I don't know what the demographic is, but we can assume.
53:57
Yeah, you just you just pretend like you had a dead family member.
54:01
Don't let the race of the person dissuade you.
54:03
Tell them you're adopted.
54:05
If it's a black funeral you stumble on, Hispanic funeral,
54:09
you tell them that you were adopted and that it's racist for them to even ask.
54:12
That's right.
54:13
You're just right.
54:14
Pardoned.
54:14
Yeah.
54:15
And you're a failure, Harris.
54:18
We understand that.
54:19
You're a failure, but you're not a liar.
54:21
And if you don't want to lie, kill a family member.
54:23
Actually have a funeral of a family member and take every member of your family and do
54:28
a pro and con list.
54:31
Say if if this person dies, if Aunt Ethel, if she were to kick the bucket right now,
54:37
what good and bad situations would that put you in pro and con list pro?
54:41
She's got a she's got a nice house in the cul-de-sac.
54:44
Maybe it'll go to you.
54:46
Con.
54:46
She's got a terrible little terrier that also might go to you.
54:49
Con.
54:50
Her husband's still alive.
54:51
You'll have to you'll have to hang out with him more.
54:53
He'll be pretty lonely and he's a mean drunk.
54:55
So far two cons for Aunt Ethel.
54:58
So maybe she lives.
54:59
Yeah, maybe maybe she lives.
55:04
But I think I think I think you understand.
55:06
I think, you know, make pro con list.
55:07
Kill a family member if you don't lie.
55:09
You know, you have a moral standard.
55:11
I do want to make one thing clear that we said earlier.
55:14
You're not a failure or you don't have a moral standard.
55:17
You're not a failure or you don't deserve to fail if you're watching Young Sheldon.
55:21
But if it's keeping you up at night, then you probably can't miss one minute of Young Sheldon.
55:28
I think you've already failed.
55:30
Yeah, just in general.
55:31
I just want to make sure that was Harris.
55:32
Harris is sitting at home right now listening to this.
55:34
And he's like, I don't even watch Young Sheldon.
55:37
Why are they judging me for something I don't do?
55:39
But there you go, Harris.
55:41
If you need extra credit for that failing test,
55:43
Evan's advice was to wear baby clothes tight as possible and then pay them off.
55:51
My advice was to help them fail at every other aspect of their life, your professor's life,
55:57
and they won't have any confidence and will give you your extra credit.
56:02
And Alan's advice was to fake a death of a family member.
56:06
Or if you have a moral standard, go ahead and kill a family member.
56:09
That way you don't have to lie.
56:10
And they'll see how good you are and will see that you were going through a lot.
56:15
You'll get that extra credit.
56:16
But yeah, there you go, Harris.
56:18
Hope you do better in college.
56:19
Probably stop watching Young Sheldon.
56:21
I think that's a good advice.
56:23
Sort of a red flag for anybody.
56:26
Shouldn't really even been a TV show.
56:28
The original Big Bang wasn't even a good sitcom.
56:30
So in fact, there's a spinoff is crazy.
56:32
Yeah.
56:33
But all right.
56:35
Well, what's our next advice?
56:35
All right.
56:36
Well, this one's from Ashley.
56:37
Ashley says, I broke a sink.
56:38
I wasn't feeling well and I was leaning on it.
56:40
However, it was in the single bathroom we have at my job and I was so incredibly anxious.
56:45
I didn't say it was me before leaving, but was never asked about it.
56:47
I'm so afraid for some reason and it's making me cry.
56:50
Should I text them now after hours and confess or wait till the repercussions tomorrow?
56:54
Oh, man, Ashley, that's tough.
56:56
You sound like a big gal to break a sink in a bathroom.
56:59
Incredible Hulk.
57:01
You were just leaning over it crying and you broke it?
57:04
I don't know.
57:04
They don't make things like they used to.
57:06
You have been saying that a lot.
57:07
They don't make things.
57:08
You're a very old man when it comes to that.
57:10
Back in my day.
57:13
What advice would y'all give to Ashley?
57:15
Should she be the bigger person and admit to breaking the sink?
57:18
Or should she see or should she just kind of ignore it and see if the situation kind of goes away?
57:23
I would say admit to it, but still make it be their fault.
57:27
Yeah.
57:28
So this is a single person bathroom.
57:29
I don't know if you guys are super familiar with those.
57:33
They're very uncomfortable.
57:34
They're very small.
57:35
You don't feel like you got enough room to stretch out.
57:37
You like to do like yoga and Pilates.
57:40
You're a single person bathroom.
57:42
Yeah.
57:43
I like to do like to stretch out the yoga mat, do a little bit of downward dog,
57:47
you know, just before I use the bathroom just to get the insides kind of moving around.
57:53
But blame it on them for having a small bathroom.
57:56
Sue the company because you have a medical condition where you have to poop in a 30 by 30 room.
58:03
That's not enough space.
58:05
And if you, if you don't have your 30 by 30 room, you might rip a sink off the wall.
58:13
You need room to run.
58:15
You need a good sound barrier so that nobody hears you outside.
58:19
And who likes to poop alone?
58:20
Yeah. Bring a friend.
58:22
Yeah.
58:23
There's a single bathroom.
58:24
Going to the bathroom is a social event.
58:26
And if they have a single bathroom, that's creating a barrier between you and your friends.
58:31
They need to have a full bathroom so you can poop next to your friends.
58:33
Let's face it, Ashley.
58:34
You're, you're a girl.
58:36
We're not familiar with this, but girls go to the bathroom with each other.
58:39
They tend to go in herds, droves, flocks.
58:42
You sort of open the gate and they all go in.
58:44
Gaggles.
58:44
Yeah.
58:45
You don't have any room in there for your friends.
58:47
Yeah.
58:47
You probably got, you probably got so mad.
58:49
It probably didn't even have anything to do with the explosive diarrhea you had.
58:52
You probably got so mad that your friends weren't in there.
58:55
You ripped that sink off that wall.
58:56
Yeah.
58:57
And let's be real.
58:57
You probably ripped the sink off the wall because you had explosive diarrhea,
59:01
completely missed the toilet and you needed to distract.
59:04
Yes.
59:04
The people cleaning it from the explosive diarrhea over the walls.
59:07
You're like, I should break the sink and distract.
59:10
One plumbing problem is going to be worse than another.
59:12
So you clog that toilet up.
59:13
You're like, man, what can I do to keep people's eyes off the toilet?
59:17
Well, I can rip the sink off the wall.
59:19
There you go.
59:19
And I bet it worked.
59:20
I bet they still haven't noticed the absolute mess that you've left in there.
59:24
But if that doesn't work, sue your company because you probably should get a doctor's note.
59:29
Forge a doctor's note.
59:31
Open up Microsoft Word.
59:32
Type yourself out a doctor's note saying that you have to poop at a 30 by 30 room
59:37
and anything smaller and you'll flip out.
59:40
Yeah.
59:40
And that's a medical term is flip out.
59:43
Doctors use it all the time.
59:45
Make sure you include on there the clause.
59:46
It has to be able to hold a small X games.
59:49
Yes.
59:49
Competition.
59:50
Yeah.
59:50
I should be able to fit a half pipe.
59:52
Yeah.
59:52
It's really important.
59:53
And that doctor's.
59:53
Yeah.
59:54
Yeah.
59:54
But I think that's good.
59:55
I think the bathroom was too small.
59:57
It's not your fault, Ashley.
59:58
That's that sucks for you.
1:00:00
Pass the blame on to somebody else.
1:00:03
You don't deserve this.
1:00:04
The mark of a true adult is to put the blame and responsibility on somebody else.
1:00:09
That's real true.
1:00:10
Never take responsibility for your actions.
1:00:11
What about you, Evan?
1:00:12
What's your advice to Ashley about her situation?
1:00:15
So my advice was going to be similar to what Alan was talking about.
1:00:19
And.
1:00:20
Which is always a good sign.
1:00:21
I say this every time this pops up.
1:00:23
When we say kind of the generally the same thing, you know it's accurate because
1:00:27
that just means we're all on the same page.
1:00:28
Yeah.
1:00:29
It was going to be do anything you can to distract from the sink.
1:00:32
So really just go tear apart the rest of the restroom.
1:00:35
Yeah.
1:00:35
That's a good.
1:00:35
That's a good point.
1:00:37
Trash it.
1:00:37
Well, you had explosive diarrhea all over the toilet wall.
1:00:41
You broke the sink to distract from that.
1:00:43
Well, now you need something to distract from the sink.
1:00:45
Yeah, exactly.
1:00:45
So you just really want to get in there and mess up that bathroom.
1:00:49
Distract from the sink as much as you can.
1:00:52
Draw as much attention away.
1:00:53
How should she distract from the sink?
1:00:55
What's your advice for distracting from that mess?
1:00:58
Now, a little pocket strategy I like to employ pretty much any time I get into any situation
1:01:04
or I need to do anything is small.
1:01:05
Start a small trash can fire.
1:01:07
Yeah.
1:01:07
You, you love a trash.
1:01:09
You are multiple small trash can fires if you need to.
1:01:12
And then blame it on the coworker that you hate the most.
1:01:15
Yep.
1:01:15
Yeah.
1:01:16
Say, oh, I just saw Terry come out of there.
1:01:18
Terry's been bugging you for years.
1:01:20
God, Terry's.
1:01:21
I'm hearing about all your deadlines.
1:01:23
He tries to make water cooler conversation with you like, oh.
1:01:26
Has bad breath.
1:01:27
Yeah.
1:01:28
Has bad breath.
1:01:29
Keeps asking you if you've seen a movie from like the sixties.
1:01:33
And then when you haven't, he ruins it.
1:01:34
Yeah.
1:01:35
He ruins it.
1:01:36
But he keeps asking you if you've seen it yet.
1:01:38
And you're like, no, I'm not going to watch the movie, Terry.
1:01:41
It seems very personal.
1:01:42
Yeah.
1:01:43
Very, very specific.
1:01:45
Sorry.
1:01:46
This is, this comes from a guy who works at home.
1:01:48
Yeah.
1:01:49
You don't see Terry at the water cooler, but I feel like you do.
1:01:52
I hate Terry.
1:01:54
But yeah, just blame it on him.
1:01:55
Set off the smoke detectors.
1:01:57
And if you need to, if that's not working and then nobody's believing you,
1:02:00
my next advice would just be to try to fix it.
1:02:03
Get some duct tape, shoddily fix that thing, put it back together.
1:02:06
So that the next person that leans on it breaks it.
1:02:09
That's good.
1:02:09
Sorry.
1:02:09
That's a good one.
1:02:10
It's no longer your problem.
1:02:12
You could basically make in the toilet some paper mache
1:02:15
with all the paper towels and stuff in there.
1:02:18
Form the broken parts of the sink.
1:02:20
There you go.
1:02:21
There you go.
1:02:21
Paint it white with the soap.
1:02:24
With the soap.
1:02:25
You just MacGyver that sink back together.
1:02:28
That's right.
1:02:28
No way.
1:02:28
If somebody else comes and leans on it, they break it.
1:02:30
They're to blame.
1:02:31
Yeah.
1:02:31
You can put candy in it, go in there with a bat, break it.
1:02:36
And it's like a pinata and you get candy.
1:02:38
And they're not going to blame you because they're like, that's really fun.
1:02:40
They're like, whoa, I didn't know the sink had a ton of candy.
1:02:43
Yeah.
1:02:43
I didn't realize we had such a fun sink.
1:02:45
And then they'll go buy a new one, try to break it and candy won't come out this time.
1:02:49
You'll be like idiots.
1:02:52
You broke it.
1:02:52
Sink.
1:02:53
For me, Ashley, mine's going to be to dodge responsibility as well and maybe blame other
1:02:58
people.
1:02:59
I think that in the end is the foundation of our advice.
1:03:01
Yeah.
1:03:02
That's the foundation of our podcast.
1:03:05
So I found it interesting in your wording, Ashley, in your email.
1:03:09
You made it seem like they're going to guess it's you no matter what.
1:03:13
You basically said, should I go and confess or wait for the repercussions to happen?
1:03:17
I need to ask you, Ashley, right back and tell us why do they expect it to be you
1:03:22
automatically?
1:03:23
Why will they walk into the single person bathroom and automatically assume they see
1:03:27
the sink on the bathroom floor and they go, Ashley did this.
1:03:30
Why?
1:03:30
Why, Ashley?
1:03:31
This is obviously Ashley's doing.
1:03:33
Listen, I don't know you, Ashley.
1:03:34
I don't know you from Adam or Steve.
1:03:36
My advice would be to get the heat off of you.
1:03:39
I would go to other establishments and break their sink.
1:03:43
So all of a sudden, one sink's broken.
1:03:45
They automatically assume it's you from your wording.
1:03:47
But all of a sudden, the business park that you probably work at has a string of broken
1:03:53
sinks.
1:03:53
All of a sudden, they don't go, well, this can't be Ashley because other businesses also
1:03:57
have broken sinks.
1:03:58
So all of a sudden, you have the heat off of you completely.
1:04:01
All of a sudden, you have a serial sink breaker at large and that will get the heat off you
1:04:05
completely and maybe they will blame somebody else.
1:04:08
But basically, dodge responsibility, put it on somebody else.
1:04:10
I like that.
1:04:11
Yeah, that works in a lot of situations too.
1:04:13
If anyone's trying to blame you of anything, just go do a bunch of that throughout town
1:04:18
and they'll think there's just a serial whatever.
1:04:20
Yeah, I think that's why serial killers have killed so many.
1:04:22
They accidentally kill one person.
1:04:24
They go, well, now I got to kill about 25 more.
1:04:26
That's what I was going to say.
1:04:27
If anybody ever accuses you of murder, just go murder a bunch of people.
1:04:31
They make off as a cat and then they'll be like, oh, it obviously wasn't them.
1:04:34
A bunch of people died.
1:04:35
And then inevitably when like most serial killers, there ends up being a copycat at
1:04:40
some point.
1:04:41
So at some point you can stop breaking sinks because somebody else is going to want that
1:04:47
attention and they're going to start breaking sinks.
1:04:49
You're off the hook.
1:04:49
Yeah.
1:04:50
What do you think the name of a serial sink breaker would be?
1:04:54
The sink twink.
1:05:07
Yeah, maybe they'll use those in the tabloids.
1:05:09
That's a sink twink strikes again.
1:05:16
Oh man.
1:05:17
But there you go, Ashley.
1:05:19
Alan said dodge responsibility, sue your company, make them seem at fault for that.
1:05:24
The fact that you had to poop in a small bathroom.
1:05:27
That's a violation of human rights.
1:05:29
We're not animals.
1:05:30
Right.
1:05:31
Evan said blame it on another coworker, but first break the rest of the bathroom.
1:05:37
So it makes the sink issue seem less bad.
1:05:41
And I said, break a whole bunch of other sinks at other establishments.
1:05:44
It'll get the heat off of you and maybe the sink twink will be born.
1:05:50
But, uh, oh, but there are hope to Ashley and Joseph.
1:05:59
I hope y'all's life is better because of it.
1:06:01
You, you, you reach self-aculization now that you've been given our advice,
1:06:06
but all right boys, any last comments to the people?
1:06:10
Give a, give a, give us a one liner wisdom.
1:06:12
Let's say don't ever, don't ever take any crap from an old man.
1:06:17
Do you mean that literally or figuratively?
1:06:19
Don't, if he ever hands you a bag of dog crap, do not ever take it out of his hand.
1:06:23
He is up to something.
1:06:26
That is fishy.
1:06:28
All right.
1:06:29
All right, Evan, what's a, give me a one liner wisdom for the people.
1:06:32
A picture may be worth a thousand words.
1:06:34
Whatever's written on a piece of paper is worth however many words are there.
1:06:37
So couldn't that be worth more if they just wrote more words?
1:06:40
Yeah, no doubt.
1:06:41
No doubt.
1:06:42
Those are not really wisdom and advice, but it was philosophical.
1:06:45
Just if you're ever having to choose between a picture or a piece of paper with a thousand
1:06:49
and one words, take the piece of paper.
1:06:50
Mathematically, you're getting more bang for your buck.
1:06:53
Exactly.
1:06:54
Anyway, that's it.
1:06:55
That's it for today.
1:06:56
If you have a hypothetical you want us to answer, if you need advice,
1:06:59
email us, questionblogtourpodcasts.gmail.com.
1:07:03
Glad to be back.
1:07:03
Glad to be back.
1:07:05
One week off was rough.
1:07:06
It was.
1:07:07
I think there was a little bit of piece of me died.
1:07:10
Yeah, that just, a piece of me was missing for sure.
1:07:13
And like the prodigal son, it came back.
1:07:15
Sure.
1:07:16
Now, and now I have all four limbs and that I think it's a big deal for me.
1:07:19
My heart was shrunk to the size of a pea and now it's the size of maybe an eggplant.
1:07:23
Oh my God.
1:07:24
You need to go to the hospital.
1:07:25
You went right to eggplant?
1:07:27
And not only is it larger, it's misshapen.
1:07:30
All right.
1:07:31
Now y'all want to be done?
1:07:32
Yes.
1:07:32
All right.