Latest / WOC and Allies: Business and Career Realtalk with Elaine Lou Cartas / 85: How To Honor Your Emotions, And Protect Yourself From Others Emotions with Lidia Galvez

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85: How To Honor Your Emotions, And Protect Yourself From Others Emotions with Lidia Galvez · WOC and Allies: Business and Career Realtalk with Elaine Lou Cartas

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Unfortunately, we were raised to not honor our emotions and to not listen to our own voice.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: For example, remember when we were kids at school, we had to ask permission to use the restroom.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: I remember when I was seven, I had to pee five minutes before the bell rang.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: I asked my teacher, but she said I had to wait.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I was a kid, I couldn't control my bladder.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't wait.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: So what happened?
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: I peed on my chair and in front of all of my friends.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: And since then, we've been told to do a lot of shoulds in our life where we're shoulding all over ourselves, right?
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: You should do this job, you should get this high degree.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: But what about what you want?
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot about growing up and being an adult is actually relearning how to honor our voice and what we want and need.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: So in this episode, I'm having some real talk with one of my former clients, a Reiki healer who also does facials in Pasadena.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's with Lydia Galvez, owner of the Pink Crow Shop in Pasadena, California.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: She's so good at the work she does.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: I actually just saw her, did a healing session with her.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: We actually recorded this episode right after.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I actually hire Lydia and her brother Abraham to host Sound Bowl Healing Reiki sessions in my retreat.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: So in this episode, Lydia will show you a meditation you can use when you're unregulated or unsure about your emotions.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: And before I drop the beat, just a reminder to please hit that subscribe button, whether you're listening on Apple, Spotify, or whatever streaming platform, because it lets these platforms know how women of color and allies like you see how important this podcast is.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: All right, let's drop the beat.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, I'm Elaine Lucartas.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a business and career coach for women of color and allies.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: Elaine Weekly awarded me the number one thought leader, and Apple News named me one of the top five business coaches.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Done doing the most as a woman of color or ally, and you want to create your own definition of success and happiness.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Well, grab your coffee tea or boba and let's do some business and career real talk.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_02: Legacy leaders, if you're watching this on video, it looks like we're about to do a YouTube recording jam session.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_02: So we're talking about how to honor our feelings with my friend, former client with Lydia Galbets, also known as the Pink Crow.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: So her unfeeling right now is I've been farting up a storm.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, she has been farting up a storm.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_02: We've been releasing, releasing people generally going, what type of release?
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_02: Let me faith.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_02: Uh Lydia is a healer.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_02: So we did some, I just did a session with Lydia.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_02: We did some theta, chronic healing, rapey, rapey when it's some somatic work.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_02: And apparently it's some gas release as well.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_02: But when you feel it comes out of your body.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, you can you can purge through your sweat, through your own.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_02: It was not being, so I just want to share that.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: Well, it's it's too soon.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_02: By the way.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_02: So let's go back to what you're talking about.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_02: How to honor our feelings and also protect ourselves from other people's feelings when they're going through things.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_02: So I think discernment.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_02: What is discernment?
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_02: Discernment is being able to discern, like to know whether something is yours or something is someone else's, discerning between what's your own feelings and what's other people's feelings.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_02: Knowing the difference is discerning.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like knowing that difference.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_02: It's really important to know the difference because when you're empathic, when you are sensitive to energies, to other people's shit, to other people's stuff.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_02: It can be enmeshed with your own and you can feel dysregulated.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_02: And it might not even be your own stuff.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_02: You could be hanging out with your mom and dad, and they're like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_02: They're worries, they're there frustrations, talking about your dias and your whatever deals.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_02: And then all of a sudden you're in the car and you're like crying because how many of you are probably probably did that before hitting record and realizing we're talking about farts and feelings.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, you're so quick.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_02: You're just like so witty.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_02: I know it was healing that we just did.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, I like what you said about discernment.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I think I'm curious, like as first shed immigrants, because I think about I'm just an apology to all of my exes and old friends that I remember when I would feel a certain way, I would blame the other person.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_02: Like you're making me feel angry.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_02: And then like thinking in my head, mind you, I didn't go through my healing, I didn't go through my therapy, I didn't go through my healing session with you, where I'm like, wait, that's not them.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_02: That's me.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_02: And even having to take myself away from the situation, allowing myself to self-regulate and pull down.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_02: So one of the ways, and I'll I'll just give uh you a very personal example.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_02: My man, my husband, and I got into it over a hospital bill, an emergency bill that came.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_02: I think I told you.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: But our listeners could hear it.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_02: And, you know, he was complaining about the bill.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_02: And our daughter, who was born with a very rare condition having to do with her stomach, her intestines.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_02: I had some post-traumatic stress about that, right?
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_02: And then I took her to the hospital because she had food poisoning and she was complaining about her stomach.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_02: Long story short, you know, we ended up getting that emergency room bill and he was just going off.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_02: And my immediate reaction was to just go off right back at him, right?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_02: And so, like I met him where he was at in the moment as I was yelling, raising my voice and cussing, I caught myself and I said, Oh, I am dysregulated right now.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_02: This is not okay.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_02: Let me kind of go kind of honor my emotions.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I left the room to just kind of stopped arguing with him.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_02: And my daughter, mind you, was in the dining room.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_02: So she was in the space that we're where we were arguing.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I went to my room, I was crying, and I said, okay, let me process.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_02: So I processed my emotions and the clarity of what was really triggering me came through.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_02: So my biological dad, when I was little, used to say a lot of remarks to me about running him to the poorhouse because of how much I wanted to eat.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_02: And so I was upset because yes, he shouldn't have been speaking to me, but I was really more deeply upset and it was more triggering about what I felt as a young girl myself with my my biological father making me feel like I was a financial burden to him.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: And so it was hitting that button for me of, oh, my daughter's gonna be a financial burden.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like a financial burden when we were arguing about what we were arguing.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_02: So I just processed my emotions.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_02: I had that clarity.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_02: And the next day we were able to have, actually, the very next morning, we were able to have a very civil conversation.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, that's not how I meant it, and this is what I was talking about.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_02: And we we just had clarity, you know, and it was just beautiful to be able to discuss it in that way.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_02: So honoring the emotions because I would have stuffed it down even more than what we tend to do as, you know, people like who don't want to honor the emotions or acknowledge our emotions, we'll go to food, we'll go to drugs, we'll go to distraction.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_02: We go to maybe overusing, you know, watching too many, too much TV or or overusing our phone, being on the app, controlling.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_02: It's just it's distraction.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_02: I I relate to that in terms of growing up, first gen immigrant, where it's like, okay, my parents are yelling, I'm yelling.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_02: Their voices are raised, voices are raised.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_02: Even in my own relationship with my partner, like when we uh we just had this, we had like a conversation just about goals.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm mindful that before I'd be like, oh, it's like raised, I'm tightened out.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: And instead, I like softened and like came from like, hey, this is what I'm thinking, this is what I'm feeling.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_02: And it was actually really productive and beautiful.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_02: And the goal, and that's the hard part.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_02: The goal is not trying to be right, like who's right or who's wrong.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_02: Instead, it's okay, how can I express and honor myself?
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_02: Being unattached that the other person may get it or understand.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_02: That is hard.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_02: And then you realize that it's more about what you're feeling and what you're going through and honoring those feelings and sharing it with that person.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_02: I feel scared.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_02: I feel fearful, like this, this, and that.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_02: You know, like I could, for example, maybe with my own situation, right?
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_02: My partner is like, this reminded me of my childhood when I felt like a financial burden.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_02: And this is how it makes me feel.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: So it's interesting because I've had these conversations, similar situation with my own partner, right?
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_02: But I couldn't pinpoint why I felt a certain way until it was sometimes not even a day, but maybe even two days.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_02: And he gets frustrated, he's like, How come we didn't tell me?
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I actually did not know.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I think I mean, I would love to get insight, but I I'm assuming it's because like our adrenaline, you know, not being regulated that we're not calm enough to discern, okay, why is where is that?
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_02: Why is it and also probably because we haven't even done our own hearing team acknowledged.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_02: We're very disconnected most of the time, and we don't know.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_02: And that's why it's really good to like take a moment.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_02: And I kind of want to show you how to do it so the viewers know how to do it at home.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_02: Just taking that moment and honoring your feelings, honoring your body because our brain does such a beautiful job, and our body does such a beautiful job of protecting us from those like sad, heavy emotions.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_02: And we've been doing it since childhood and not knowing how to like fully process emotionally, and we'll get stuck in a phase of final flight or a phase of honor free.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_02: What's really interesting, I think, uh we've been in this modern society is that it's a lot of using our phones to distract ourselves, right?
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_02: Like the doom scrolling on Instagram, TikTok, whatever social media app, MySpace.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if you still use it.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_02: But I don't know if anybody is nice anywhere, Russ.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_02: We're probably in ourselves around Jenna.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_02: I'd be like, what is it?
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know what that is.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_02: That one's something that's nice.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_02: Whenever you wouldn't not be on my topic, Lydia.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_02: If you know, you know.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, walk me through.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_02: So close your eyes, take a nice slow deep breath in.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_02: Nice, low deep breath in through your nose, hold it, slowly breathe out.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_02: Just start to relax, relax your brain, relax your body, release any tension that you're holding on anywhere in your body.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_02: Nice, low deep breath into your nose, hold it, release through your mouth.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_02: I want you to think about the last time you were arguing with your partner.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_02: I really want you to get into the emotion, into that part of you that was feeling upset, angry, sad.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_02: Let me know when you're there.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_02: I'm there.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_02: Just scan your body with your mind and identify where you're feeling it.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_02: Can you describe what it feels like in your throat?
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_02: It's like this lump, like I just want to scream, essentially.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_02: I want you to just observe that lump in your throat.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_02: Like you want to observe it with your mind, tell your body, tell your brain that you are safe and that it is a safe delight.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_02: Just watch it as uncomfortable as it may be.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_02: You're gonna notice it's going to start to shift.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_02: It might get stronger, it might get stronger, it might get lighter, it might take some slow deep breaths in and out as you look at this lump in your throat.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's swirling, and then it like pops and disappear.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_02: You know, nice cleansing breath, and is it completely gone?
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, beautiful.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_02: So that's basically processing your emotions.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_02: That's it's sort of like EMDR.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_02: If you've ever done EMDR in therapy, it's sort of like that for anyone out there who's ever done it, it's very similar to that.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_02: It's called somatic work.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_02: And so you're somatically releasing through your body.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_02: For the heavier stuff, like you went through that really quickly.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_02: And for the heavier stuff, it can take a little bit longer.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_02: It can, there can be distractions.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_02: We're like, oh, all of a sudden it's in my stomach.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, it's in my foot, it's cold in my foot.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_02: Now I feel tingly sensation in my leg.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_02: It can move around because your body doesn't want to let it go.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_02: There's some resistance there.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: And so just allowing it and taking the time to do this, you can do it on your own, identify where it's at, describe it to yourself and observe it and look at it, look at it, look at it.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_02: It's how our body has physically manifested the emotions.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_02: So, what I want all of you to hear, it's like when you are feeling that emotion, giving yourself time and space alone.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, right, acknowledging, okay, where do I feel it in my body?
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_02: How does it look or feel?
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_02: And then, I mean, you probably have to rewind to where Lydia was giving the meditation, but going back and telling yourself I am safe.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_02: And then looking, seeing, feeling wherever it feels in your body until it is released.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_02: For me, like I was describing like the swirling and then it went away.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_02: There was when we did a session right before we hit record, there was also a lump in my throat and it was moving back and forth.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_02: So it'll be different for each person.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_02: It's different in terms of how we process.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_02: I remember processing something before and it felt like a big achy hole in my stomach.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_02: And then it slowly started getting full, full, full.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_02: I had to do a few kind of sessions to really fully process that trauma.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_02: But sometimes it can be very deep.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_02: And it just depends.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, everybody's so different in terms of how it's released.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_02: You might be able to visually see it released, you might be able to feel it being released, it might be able to sense that it's gone.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_02: It's so different for everybody in every trauma that you're processing, it's very different.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_02: Well, let's go back.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_02: We are not licensed therapists, but I know we both appreciate EMDR.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_02: Can you share what EMDR is?
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_02: And what's the difference between EMDR and the somatics that we just did?
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_02: Well, EMDR for me, I don't know how it was for you, but I I've done it via Zoom.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_02: And it's just like this bilateral stimulation where you're looking at this stock going back and forth, and you're given tools by your therapist ahead of time to sort of soothe and calm before you go into the EMDR.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_02: So I don't know if your therapist did that, but yeah.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_02: So there's like tapping, like the butterfly, an imagining of all of light, of protection, which I was like, I was telling my therapist, I do that.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_02: I do that for like my spiritual work and I do the tapping for my spiritual work.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think there's a lot of similarities.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_02: And she was like, Oh, oh, you do because she didn't know like all of the things that I did.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_02: But so they give you all these resources, right, to have in your arsenal a toolbox for when you're doing the EMDR and you're dysregulated to get back to a state of calm because you're reprocessing that trauma, those emotions for that trauma.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_02: And that is what I appreciate about EMDR as well, somatic work because I'm not a licensed therapist.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_02: But when I I've been doing an off therapy, what I need to kind of look hard if you need it to do that.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_02: And talk therapy is great.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_02: You talk and express your emotions, but maybe you're out there, you're like, I'm just done over my bullshit.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_02: Just want to heal it.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I know Holland Steel, I know where the memory is from.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_02: That's great, but you need to rewire your neurons or whatever it is in terms of that trauma so that when there's a similar situation, present or future, it doesn't happen yet.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_02: And I also want to mention, speaking of honoring your feelings, was I remember going to a therapist before and saying, like, I want to work on my trauma regarding my daughter.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_02: She was born with a rare condition and she was in the hospital for several months, had several surgeries, and I really wanted to be able to process emotionally.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_02: And she was just like, after she had seen me for I don't know, maybe a couple of months, she was like, I think you're good.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you don't need to do anything.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I was just like, No, I know I'm not good, you know, in my head.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_02: So I stopped seeing her.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_02: She kind of discharged me.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, no, you're fine, but I knew I wasn't.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_02: And then I sought out EMDR through this therapist, and oh, it's been life-changing in terms of like, but I was already starting to do the somatic work simultaneously when I did the EMDR.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_02: And so, but it really honored your feelings.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_02: If you know you're going through something, even if your therapist is saying, No, you're kind of okay.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_02: You feel like you have something, then maybe look for another therapist.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's I mean, I know we're talking about healing, but it's kind of like even in life, right?
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like, hey, you should do this for your business.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_02: You should do this for your work.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like, okay, that's a lot of shitting all over, but intuitively, I just don't think it's the right move.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_02: Or like, not just intuitively, but based up data and history.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's not the right move, and I want to do it this way.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_02: And honoring yourself.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_02: So would let's ask, what happens when you are having a conversation with someone who is this regulated?
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_02: Who it is their feelings and their emotions.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: You are punk, you're regulated, you're breathing, you're speaking in a very even chill tone, like right now.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_02: How do you make sure you don't take that on?
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_02: How do you honor yourself?
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_02: And like clearly don't call them on and say you're crazy, right?
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_02: That is a little bit more complex for sure.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_02: We create these sort of like emotional wounds when when we have trauma, what we can call like portals, if they're portals, emotional portals, wounds, right?
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_02: And so what happens when you become empathic because you have these wounds, you're more vulnerable to absorbing your loved ones' energies, people that you care about energy.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_02: That's why it's kind of draining sometimes when you're around certain people.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_02: They're like they suck up all your energy.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_02: They are yeah.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, we could have been them at one point too, you know, we don't know.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_02: So, with that in mind, like you have to really so it can long-term stop kind of affecting you in that way.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_02: You have to go in to do some healing, right?
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because as like a pronic healer, what you're doing as a chronic healer, as a facilitator, you're pulling out that energy, all of those attachments, those wounds, and you're sealing them, kind of like cocking it, right?
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_02: You're sealing, don't go there.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_02: You're looking like that.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_02: So dirty.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not going there.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not going there.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_02: Look you gave me Elaine.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_02: The look you gave me.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not gonna look out of here.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_02: Keep going, keep going.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_02: So you're you're sealing any gaps, holes, and cracks with life force energy and kind of yeah, sealing those wounds and repairing them.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_02: And so that way you feel stronger emotionally, mentally, spiritually, even when you're around other people.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_02: So that's kind of like the long-term goal is to do that type of healing.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_02: So you are not easily absorbing everybody's stuff.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_02: It's you can do some theta work, the subconscious work of like releasing the program that you absorb energy and downloading that you know how to have boundaries, you know how to have sovereignty.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_02: So you are not absorbing the energy of others, even on social media.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, before I couldn't even see sad movies or be on social media because they would really greatly affect me.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_02: I was like crying over a social media post.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: Legacy leader.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_01: I know what you're thinking.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: Elaine, you have such good stuff here.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: I want more.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_01: So if you want more tips and advice for your business career in life, sign up for my gifts and gifts newsletter at elenelew.com forward slash join.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: That's J-O-I-N.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: And here's three things you'll get when you join, because I'm like Santa Claus.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_01: I love giving.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: Number one, funny gifts.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_01: Cause who doesn't love memes and pop culture references?
• 19:55
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• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: Number two, receive actionable gifts.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's business, career, and life tips that you can start doing today.
• 20:04
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• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: Not only to get my wins, but also my failures, my reflections.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_01: My Gifts and Gifts newsletter is like an up-to-date diary.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: Think Zenga or Life Journal for my fellow millennials, where I share vulnerable stories, relatable mistakes, and important life tips like what to watch on Netflix.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like when's the next Bridgeton season?
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're ready for those fun gifts and actionable gifts to create a more sustainable life, then join my newsletter at elenelew.com forward slash join.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_01: That's J-O-I-N.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: All right, let's get back to the episode.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_02: Is it weird?
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I go on YouTube and I want to watch like kids be surprised by their marine dad.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_02: And then I purposely do that.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_02: And then my partner, but what are you doing?
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_02: But anyway, it's going not too bad when someone's dysregulated.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_02: What I do sometimes when I notice someone is not in a good mood, yeah, and I come in and I'm like on a natural high, and I'm like, I just realize, okay, I'm gonna leave the room.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_02: Or it seems like you need time and space alone.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna go.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_02: And that was another thing I've learned too, is that we all have different coping mechanisms.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_02: So you can't assume that your partner, your friend, or family member has a similar way to deal with things.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_02: True.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_02: Like, example is my partner's dad passed away, and then a month later, my grandma passed away.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_02: And so for me, I want to be like snuggled.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_02: I want to talk about it.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_02: For him, you need a sense.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_02: And there's no right or wrong, but the simple question of what do you need?
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_02: And taking your ego out.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_02: And I did a lot of healing with my therapist on being codependent of like, okay, he, she, they, they need space to themselves.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_02: Let me just.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: Step out.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_02: Another good one.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_02: I really love that because it's so true.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_02: Another good thing to do is this is very simple, but you can zip up your energy.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_02: Describe this zipping because it's being earlier.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, to muscle test.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_02: Zipping up your energy, like a like if you have a bubble of energy, zipping it up before you go into your parents' or your family's home or before you go into work.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_02: So listen to this episode before the holidays.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_02: This is good.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_02: Before the holidays, zipping up your energy.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_02: So you're sort of like protecting, you're shielding.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_02: It's a way of shielding, besides envisioning like a ball of light, an org shield.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_02: You can zip up your energy.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_02: And that way you can, for me, not having to absorb other people's energy.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_02: And like I've had to learn how not to do that as a facilitator of healing because I see, you know, up to eight people a day sometimes doing healing work.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_02: Imagine if I took all that shit off.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, same thing with me.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_02: Like I'm coaching clients.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_02: And even though, yes, I do business and executive coaching, but people share very personal things with me.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, there are things people share traumatically with me where I'm not licensed.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_02: So I get back to seeing a therapist because I'm not the best person, but people share deep stuff.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_02: And honoring, like I had a client sharing with me some personal stuff in her relationship yesterday.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_02: Like, oh, that is heavy.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_02: But I was like, wait, that's hers, not mine.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_02: So going back to like the sharing and stuff like that, I've had to learn not to.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_02: And I find that not absorbing energy makes me a better back part, a better facilitator because I'm able to be of service and show up objectively versus when I'm, oh, let me take on that energy for you, let me hold this for you, and then feel it with them.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_02: And then we're like feeling that sadness together or that anger together.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_02: And then their energetic attachment, emotional attachment is being carried from me with me.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_02: And then she can leave my space, but then we're tied energetically.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_02: There's those cords, those energetic cords.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm better to be of service, not being attached in that way.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_02: I can be objective and really, because when you are in shock, you can make good decisions.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_02: When you're, you know, and so if I'm objective and not allowing that energy to affect me in that way, I'm able to make better decisions, know how to better facilitate the session.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_02: Zipping up the energy, cleansing your energy, envisioning white light, cleansing your energy, watch any dirty energy going out of the floor, going into the earth.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have a listening thing.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_02: So there's there's so many ways of like you can be in this space, and then like envisioning cleansing light while you're talking to someone.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_02: The white bubble helps me a lot.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_02: Like before I go to a session, whether in person or or like before Zoom or Teams or whatever you use.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like, okay, it's white bubble.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_02: Some people do a flame or a purple bubble.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_02: I think you taught me this, where it's like you look at yourself, whether in the mirror, it's like, okay, this is my gray shirt.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yes.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: Her blaster.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, remember when I empathy that.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_02: Like, so then you know, like, okay, those are that's her peak classes, that's her challenges.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_02: This is my blaster.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_02: This is my hot mess.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yep, yep, exactly.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_02: Like when you're in the moment and someone's sharing with you the way you're looking at me like now, I'm like, she's wearing, you know, turquoise glasses.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_02: I'm wearing a black shirt.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_02: She's wearing, you know, shorts.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_02: I, you know, you're just saying those things yourself to separate what's yours is yours, what's mine is mine.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_02: What's yours is yours, what's mine is mine.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_02: Don't worry, girls, my gas and yours.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_02: You know, the first time I actually got certified for Reiki and I was learning Reiki, and I was, um, it was in a group.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_02: It was we were a lot of us, right?
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_02: I was with someone and I started feeling really gassy, and I was like, oh my God, like the ping book kind of gas.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_02: And what is this?
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_02: Why am I feeling gassy?
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_02: We hadn't even had lunch.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_02: And so I'm like, this is so weird.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_02: I don't even think I had breakfast that day.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_02: And so we're done.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_02: We're done.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_02: She says, Me, I do her.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_02: We have a bathroom break, and I think we went to lunch.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_02: She runs to the bathroom.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_02: And the where when we were at, there was like an echo.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_02: And so there was a flooring, and she ran to the bathroom and she just like laid ripped, and you hear it all through the hallway.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, she was gassing.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_02: I'm feeling her fucking gas.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_02: Like I was feeling that shit.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, how my God, interesting.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think even a lot of people know this, but like I'm Reiki certified myself.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_02: And sounds so hell because we're both from Lady's like, maybe not Reiki.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_02: Say, just let me say.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_02: I want you to talk about what is Reiki.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_02: Can you share what Reiki is?
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_02: I'll share why I got into it, why you got into it.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_02: And also we're not trying to convert.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if that's an appropriate word, but just educate.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_02: I do teach Reiki in case someone does want to convert.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, the paint crow shop dog.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_02: Reiki is lifehorse energy, Godforce energy.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_02: It exists in everything, everyone.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_02: And so as a facilitator of Reiki, you're just harnessing Godhorse energy, lifehorse energy and sharing it with your client.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_02: And so with the traditional Reiki, there's different styles of Reiki, but with the traditional, you're using your hands and you're putting it over the person, the person's body, their chakras.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_02: And that energy has an intelligence of its own and knows where to go, what to do.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have to do, you can't really fuck it up.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have to like, oh, I have to go here, then I have to go there.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_02: Then I no, no matter what you do, it's going to do the work it needs to do.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_02: And so it transmutes negative energy, stagnant energy.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_02: And it just, it's sort of like a rinsing off, like getting a hose and rinsing off something that's been dusty, laying out.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_02: And so you feel a little bit lighter afterwards.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_02: And the reason why I went into Reiki 2019 was because my grandma had a stroke and she was just ever the same.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_02: So I wanted to connect and communicate with her.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_02: And one of my clients who is a Reiki practitioner was like, You should see my mentor.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, okay.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought, like, okay, teach me how I could connect.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you need to do Reiki.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, everybody does Reiki.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_02: That's so trendy.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to do Reiki.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_02: She's like, Well, do you want to connect with your grandma?
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, okay, shit, I'll do it.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I did it.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_02: And it was just like, it's interesting because I did Reiki on her.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_02: So I moved energy.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_02: I also did Reiki where I was able to even connect spiritually and energetically with family members who haven't talked in 20 years.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_02: And then I overheard, like, oh my God, I bought the spirit.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, not that it was me, but I'm just using energy.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_02: So, and even though I don't do Reiki sessions, I'm doing hair quotes, but I use it within my coaching.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like being really aware of like, hey, Lane, I have a problem with my boss.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_02: Like, okay, I know you're talking about this, but it seems like does that resonate with you or not?
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_02: Do you want to explore this challenge instead or this?
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_02: Well, fun fact, you can't turn Reiki energy off.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_02: And so I even realized doing my facials when I just do regular facials.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_02: Someone's just coming in for regular facial, no Reiki.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_02: They're feeling that Reiki energy.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_02: They feel it.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_02: They see it.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_02: They know it.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_02: Lydia, I am so what do you do?
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_02: I live life.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_02: Joyful.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_02: Like how she defines life as opposed to an identity of work.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_02: So good job.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_02: Even though you will soon talk about what you do.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_02: Oprah living.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_02: Like I am a facilitator of healing through facials and through healing sessions.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_02: I practice beta.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_02: I practice chronic healing.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_02: I practice Reiki.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_02: I practice somatic work.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_02: And I do some pretty fabulous facials: skincare, anti-aging, pigmentation, acneic facials, all kinds of facials.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_02: And she's located in Pasadena, California.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_02: I also get the privilege of having Lydia come to my retreats with her brother to do sound bowl healing and just energy healing work.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know why I keep inviting her because each time I do, she makes lights cry.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_02: Why do I want to I don't know, it's fun.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_02: No, I really love you know helping people help themselves and empower them and have the tools, just like in the beginning of doing the somatic work.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_02: We all have the tools and well, we all have the power to to heal ourselves.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_02: And we just need the tools, you know, and the guidance sometimes.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, I really enjoy it as as much as I you know your clients do cry and but shift happens.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_02: I love you said shift and not shift.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_02: Shift happens.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_02: You should like trademark that.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_02: I probably saw it somewhere, maybe the trademark or anything.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_02: Any last words when it comes to honoring our feelings, protecting our feelings from other people's feelings.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_02: Any last words you want to share?
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_02: If you feel like you absorb too much, seek out some guidance through at the P.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_02: Crow shop on Instagram.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_02: And then do the somatic work as silly as it may seem.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_02: Doing the somatic work will really help honor your feelings and how they show up.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_02: And then after doing the somatic work, it just gives you the clarity that you need sometimes.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_02: So you will get the clarity.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_02: And then you can go to your therapist if you're going to their business and say, like, this is what I need to kind of work on because that clarity comes up through the somatic work.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_02: When I was doing my trauma informed certification, I remember my facilitators teaching us how unfortunately, when we were young, we were taught not to listen to our own bodies and to ourselves.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_02: Do you remember being kids and you having to ask permission to use the restroom?
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_02: Like I remember I was seven.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_02: The bell was gonna ring in five minutes.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_02: I really had to pee.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_02: I asked my keisha, can I go pee?
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_02: And she was like, no, you have to hold it.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, it's seven.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_02: I could not hold it.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_02: So I peed on the chair.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_02: So I share that because it's like, wait, how come I don't know what's wrong with me?
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_02: How come I can't be aware?
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_02: It's because unfortunately we've been conditioned to not honor and listen to our own bodies and our own feelings.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_02: So it's kind of fun.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_02: Like, like if you have a hard time, I feel like go go hang out with your kids, or if you don't have kids, nephews and nieces, because kids are so aware, they'll straight up tell you, Mom, what's that black thing on your bangs?
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_02: They're still honest, they're still on it.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, absolutely.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, kids still to this day, the classrooms they're like, you can't go to the bathroom.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_02: I tell my girls, like, if you need to go, you go.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_02: I don't care if you get in trouble.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_02: Like, just go to the bathroom.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_02: But I know.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_02: You were like conditioned before.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_02: It's a reconditioning to do on learning.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_02: Or relearning.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's right.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_02: That's right.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_02: A relearning of it.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_02: If people fall in love with you and they want to do a session with you, how can they find you?
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_02: On Instagram.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_02: The Pink Crow Shop.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_02: I'll put it in the show notes just in case.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_02: Or my website, www.w.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_02: Shop.com.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_02: You can also check out her Google review.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_02: She has a lot of five-star reviews on there.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_02: Have you reviewed me yet?
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, of course I reviewed her.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_02: And Lydia, I know you've had experience working with me.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_02: When I was your business coach.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_02: For people listening who may be interested in working with me, can you share your experience?
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_02: I was really scared when I first met you.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_02: You intimidated me a lot.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_02: It was a very different Lydia back then, right?
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_02: It was also a different Elaine, I would say.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_02: I I what I really was drawn to you, first of all, because you worked specifically with women of color.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_02: You were, you're a child of an immigrant or immigrants, so am I.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_02: And so like identified a lot with that.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_02: And you were local.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_02: But I think I like the tenacity that you had and that I saw within you is like what I wanted and what I needed.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_02: And so I was like, I want some of whatever she had going on.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_02: You scared me.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_02: So it was really scary.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_02: But once I like I got to know you and I started working with you, I really started hearing what you had to tell me and like listening to what you had to tell me.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_02: And even when I doubted it, like it would come up for me later and show me, like, no, yeah, this is what you got to do.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_02: Elaine's been saying this, you know?
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_02: And so again, I just appreciate your honesty and like the the accountability that like you gave us, gave me anyway, of like, no, we gotta do this.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, what did you do?
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_02: Where's your homework?
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_02: Like, this is this is what you did.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, now what?
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_02: Let's pivot.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_02: You know, all those things, like just keeping me accountable and just being you.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_02: I appreciate you.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_02: Lydia does amazing work.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_02: My clients continue to like brag about like, oh, is Lydia coming?
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, you wanna be, you want to let ever make you brag?
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_02: I don't understand why you're doing it.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_02: Like, and also we have a retreat coming out April 18th, and 19th.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_02: So if you want to come, go to ElaineLou.com forward slash retreat.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, Yuri Lines, uh, Yuri Lines.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_02: Your retreats are always fun and healing, empowering.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_02: I think besides obviously having you there, but I think what I love about it, and Lydia also hosts her own event, so be sure to follow her on Instagram.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_02: I know you announce it, but is Saint other diverse women of color?
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_02: And even if they're in different fields, whether it's their career, their business, their life, different ages, it's nice to know that we're not the only ones going through shit.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yeah.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_02: Community.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_02: I know it's like, oh, we're messed out together, but I'm gonna honor my feelings and your meals are different.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_02: Those are different glasses, not mine.
• 35:41
  unknown: Exactly.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_02: But I'm just gonna cut that off.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_02: Lydia, thank you so much for your time.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for having me.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you use the meditation Lydia showed you on how to honor your emotions and heal from it, and that you took some notes on how to protect yourself from other people's emotions.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_00: So if you need to re-listen to this episode, go ahead and do it.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_00: And if you found this episode helpful, here are four things you can do if you feel called to do them.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, if you could leave a five-star rating in review, that would mean so much to me and my team.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_00: We created this podcast for accessible education for women of color and allies.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, because we care about accessible education, share this with a friend who is having a challenging time honoring their emotions or protecting themselves from other emotions and energies.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_00: Number three, don't forget to hit the follow button.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you do, it lets the podcast platform you're using to listen to this episode know how important this podcast is to fellow women of color and allies like you.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_00: And number four, if you would like to recreate and realign your business or career by your own definition, by working with me and my team, then schedule an introductory legacy business and career review call.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_00: We only bring in two to four new clients every month.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_00: And we work with 24 clients at one time to ensure each client receives the results they deserve.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_00: So you can schedule a complimentary legacy business and career review call at elanelu.com forward slash call.