Latest / Reflect Reclaim & Liberate - with Sallyanne Hartnell / Managing Stress & Burnout during divorce and beyond

Transcript

Managing Stress & Burnout during divorce and beyond · Reflect Reclaim & Liberate - with Sallyanne Hartnell

• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate the podcast.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Finding the space for all of you in life and love.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Sally Ann Hartnell, and this podcast is for anyone wanting to reclaim and liberate themselves in their relationships and their life.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: Wherever you are on your relationship journey, these conversations meet you right there.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: In thoughtful, deeply supportive DNs with me and interviews with other gorgeous humans.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Moving you from where you are to where you most want to be.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: A life and love completely aligned with your deepest desires to have it all on your own terms.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: If you're seeking a relationship and a life that lights up all of you, you're in the right place.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome, welcome to another episode of Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: Today I'm talking with Bianca Maricks about stress, overwhelm, and burnout.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Bianca is a clinical naturopath as well as a certified life and mindset coach who, for the past 14 years, has been helping women disconnect from stress, chronic fatigue, and anxiety and helping them to beat burnout.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Bianca specializes in gut metabolic and adrenal health and mood improvement and also works on mindset and behaviours that manifest physically to restore health and build true resilience.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Bianca loves working with the highly stressed and overworked.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: So today's topic is really her happy place.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: And the things we're going to talk about are some of the key foundation foundational practices in building resilience and reducing stress.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome, Bianca.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for having me.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: You're so welcome.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm really pleased to have you on the podcast.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: And to keep to kick off, I'd love for you to share a little bit about yourself, your business, and really how you came to work in this particular space.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: Sure, sure thing.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: So I've been in clinical practice for 14 years, and you know, of course, a few stop starts along the way with the kids.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: And a few years ago, I went out on my own and started my own clinic where I could really focus on my key passions, which is combining naturopathy and life coaching together, specifically for really stressed out and exhausted women, you know, the women that are just over it.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: So I came to work in this space because when I was younger, I was one of those burnt-out people that was so severely addicted to stress.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I was, whilst I was working on my own health and mindset, I noticed that there was a lot of women going through really similar things.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: And what got them there might have been different, but the outcome was still the same.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: And when you're in that really acute stress response, we can feel like it's only us that's going through it, but that's not the case.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: So my eyes really opened wide, and I saw that there was a lot of women that needed support in this area.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: So that's really where my interest kicked off.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: And then over time I have built my business around that passion.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's such a common experience for women, isn't it?
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Holding all the things and juggling all the balls.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: So what do you see in those in the women that you deal with, those women who are under that huge amount of stress or have been under a huge amount of stress?
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: What do you see the the main, say the three main areas of stress for women?
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: So obviously for me, health is number one with being a naturopath.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: So they might have a lot of things going on health-wise that they want to work on.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: However, stress and fatigue are the really big key ones.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: Women are stressed about being tired and also not having the energy that they once did.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: And they are stressed about how they're still going to be able to get all of the things done because they still want to do all of the things.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: The other big stresses that I see is definitely relationship related.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: So whether they want to stay, they want to go, they're thinking about their kids or other people that are going to be affected by all of this, or just simply the overwhelm of it all.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: And then probably career and finances would probably round it off.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: So I gave you four, but that would probably round it off.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I love that you've brought that in because you know that that shows how our clients or the people that we work with, the women that we work with really overlap and how your work is really complementary to mine.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you for sharing that.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Now I know you talk a fair bit about the concept of burnout, and I think most people understand the general concept of burnout, but I wonder, can you give us a little bit more of an in-depth explanation and maybe talk about the differences between physical and emotional burnout?
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, definitely.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: So when we refer to physical burnout, which is what most of us already speak about, this is about the severe fatigue, you know, issues with our sleep, that extreme weakness.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's that burning the candles at both ends, that overwork that's led you to a point of physical fatigue.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: And whilst there are many other symptoms, that's what people would normally refer to as adrenal fatigue.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so whilst this is not adrenal fatigue is not the right terminology to be using, like the adrenals don't just pack up and die.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's more about the physical symptoms we see as a result of uh a disruption between our stress feedback loops in the body.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: But it's all about the physical symptoms, yeah.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: And in regards to emotional burnout, it's about the emotional stuff that's driving our stress response in our body.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: And that can be anything from everyday stress to relationship stress, financial, long-standing anxiety, pandemic-related stress, uncertainty, worrying about loved ones, not seeing our loved ones, when is this going to end, lockdown, homeschooling?
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, you could expand that list even more.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: But what's important to note is that these stresses are longstanding.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: And as a result, not only does this stress response affect us physically, but mentally as well.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: And it drives even more anxiety and depression, irritability, you know, people expressing they guys don't care anymore, they lack motivation, they feel emotionally drained, they feel stuck, trapped, they're not living in the present.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: We feel even more stressed about the small things, even over things that we really should be worried about.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: And that's because we've come to a place of emotional exhaustion and our nervous system is primed for that stress response.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: So when people hear that, they always put up their hand and say, Oh, that's so me.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: That sounds exactly like me.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: We also describe it more so recently as soul-level exhaustion, which is not a technical or a medical term, but people seem to understand what we're talking about.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and we're seeing so much of this at this point in time.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, both physical and emotional burnout, they cross over, they influence each other, and they definitely interfere with day, they both interfere with daily life.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that emotional burnout and that what did you call it, that soul level exhaustion.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Soul level exhaustion.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: I see that so much in my clients because they've done, they've either, you know, been navigating this for a really long time, they've been in that should I stay, should I go dilemma, or it's you know, they're in the messy middle of navigating a separation and divorce, and they are just soul level exhausted.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm sure lots of my listeners, as lots of yours, would really resonate with that description.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: And and going on with emotions, talking a bit further about emotions, when when we're in a season of acute stress or high emotion, how does that affect us physically?
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: So you talk, you just spoke about that interlinked um emotional physical burnout.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: So if we're in that high-level season of acute stress, how does that manifest or show up physically?
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: How does it affect us?
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: To put it simply, our emotions cause a physical stress response in the body, the same as if we were in physical danger.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: So our bodies will react to any type of stress with the same physiological reaction.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: So whether the stress comes from overworking, a stressful job, pressure we put on ourselves, trauma, you know, physical or emotional, arguing with someone, over-exercising, a really crappy diet, health issues, the physical response is the same, which is all about the activation of the sympathetic nervous system and then you know, adrenaline and cortisol is released and so on.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: As a lot of our emotional stress is ongoing, our stress response is always on.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: And that's where we start to see the long-term effects kick in.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, you can have the perfect diet, and I see this all the time.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: People come in, they have, I don't have to, I don't have to change their diet in any way.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: They do yoga daily, but the emotional side will still drive a stress response in the body.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: So you're saying that that that heightened emotion, emotional state or that high stress state over a long period of time really primes our nervous system.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: We're sort of prime.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: So we get used to our sympathetic nervous system is always switched on, which is the the mode of the nervous system which is responsible to um monitor our stress response.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, our emotions definitely do drive that.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: So you can have all of these other aspects of your life looking really great.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: But if we're not working through our emotions and the emotional side or the emotions that are causing stress in our life, it will still cause a stress response in the body.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you've got all those other boxes ticked, as you said, absolutely exercise, mindfulness, yoga, diet.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it helps, don't get me wrong, it helps.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: But you still always need to try and aim to get to the cause of what's going on.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: So address that underlying emotional cause.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Many of my clients, like yours, have been under stress, under that kind of stress, ranging from the mild daily stress to prolonged acute or high pressure sort of stress for quite a long time before they connect with me.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: As I said earlier, you know, they've been going through this journey, they've been on this path for a reasonable period of time.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: How do you see, how does a how does stress affect us over time, longer term?
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: The more stress you have, the more it predisposes you to lots of different conditions.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: So we often see an increase in digestive conditions like irritable bowel, irritable bowel disease, our food doesn't break down properly, we have lots of bloating, especially when people present with that all-day bloat, that the bloating is there from the morning to night.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: We know that there's a lot of stress in their nervous system is involved here.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: We see overgrowths in the gut.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and anything that does affect the gut will also affect our mood as well.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: We see an increase in neuroinflammation, mood changes, more anxiety, depression, also our memory changes.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: So there's also an increased risk in dementia.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: We see lots of metabolic changes in the body, and that's the way that cortisol influences other organs and also influences the release of other hormones in the body, like insulin being one of many.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: So we see thyroid disease, increase in thyroid disease, autoimmune diseases, weight gain, type 2 diabetes, more hormone irregularities, reduced fertility, because stress will shut down reproduction.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's not essential when we need to run.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: We don't need to reproduce when we're trying to run from something.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: And because stress also drives systemic inflammation, it can trigger or exacerbate existing conditions that you might already have.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: So things like endometriosis, PCOS, arthritis, um, fibromyalgia, or other chronic pain syndromes.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: So the list really does go on.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, for me, I see a lot more of that chronic fatigue syndrome as well, which is a, you know, stress is a very big driver for fatigue syndromes.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: So there's not a lot of upside to long-term long-term stress, is there?
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_01: But in saying that, you know, people say, Oh, how can I never stress?
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, hang on, you know, our stress response is there for a reason.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: We just need to learn how to manage the ongoing stresses that we have in our lives that sometimes we can't resolve as easily as we want to.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I know that we're going to talk about that in a sec, but the aim is never to remove stress entirely.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: Cortisol individually as a hormone is actually really important for lots of other things in our body, but we just don't want it being produced and secreted every second of every day, kind of thing.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, we just need to build that resilience a little bit more.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and about, I guess, modulating the stress in our life.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Correct.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: You know, knowing that there will be peaks, but we also need the troughs and the calm times.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: Definitely.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, going on from that, I wanted to really ask you about um the importance of not suppressing our emotions.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now, we've talked about you and I've talked about it offline, but I see this in my clients a lot that they've been holding on and bottling up emotions and maybe holding it together in front of their kids or their family or at work, very often pushing things down and suppressing what they don't want to bring to the light with their partner or even or with their ex if they're already separated and they, or even with themselves, they just don't want to bring it up.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: So, how does suppressing emotions show up in our physical body?
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: How does it show up for your clients?
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: What do you see?
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then I guess how do you how do you manage it?
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: How do you treat it?
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because I would really like to get into a little bit of how you work.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's something that we do so easily, but we really need to bring these emotions to the forefront and work through them.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: So allowing that anger and the emotions to come to the surface, otherwise it will show up in other ways.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: So it will eventually manifest physically through the stress response, which we just spoke about.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: So for some people it'll be um, you know, through their digestion, for some people it'll be headaches, for some people will be their mood and so on.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: But many people need help processing their emotions.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: So quite often a patient and myself will be discussing their physical symptoms in the beginning.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_01: And as we get deeper and start shedding those layers, the emotional drivers really start to come to the surface.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_01: But processing emotions is not always easy.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, there can be many reasons for that and why that's the case.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes, you know, as women, we don't want to believe things and we ignore how we feel and we suppress.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of women know that to get through it, they're gonna have to dig really deep, maybe make some big decisions that they they don't want to, feeling indecisive, and that it's actually easier for them to give themselves a little pat on the back and a pet talk just to get them through the day.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_01: But things don't ever get really resolved, and that stress response in the body is still happening in the background.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: So it's okay to admit that you're not okay, it's okay to admit that you're angry, it's okay to be frustrated, but we feel quite often that we can't sit in that space and we just have to move on.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: So we feel that we can't just be, you know, we can't just feel and just be.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: But it is essential that we do because if we can't pinpoint exactly how we feel, we don't admit it, we don't own it, and we can't take the next steps forward.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: When we suppress, we also start to overthink things.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_01: We become more anxious, our mood changes, we see lots more anxiety and depression, and then there's also that physical long-term effects of stress, which we've already spoken about.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of clarity can be found in identifying how we feel.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: We can move through that level of emotional burnout easier, which in turn will improve our stress long term.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, so powerful.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: I often share too, and I'll be interested to know what you think about this with my clients, that you've got to move right through the emotion.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like recognize it, yes, understand you know, understand what it is, recognize it and allow it, but allow it, allow yourself to go right through almost to the end of it.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's like a little mini journey through your anger or your frustration or your resentment.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that kind of aligns with what you're saying too.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: Allow it, bring it to the surface, go right through the process.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, just on what you're saying is that a lot of people will need help to articulate how they're feeling.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why, you know, reach out and ask for that help, you know, whether it be from someone like yourself that works in this area every single day, especially if it's relationship related, um, that's where, you know, a lot of clarity can be found just by simply having somebody helping you articulate exactly what you're feeling, um, so that you can then move through it much faster.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_01: So it's okay to ask for help too.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: And we're not, we're not taught as as humans, as women, we're we're often not taught what these emotions are.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: We just feel it, as you said, push it down, don't have time to deal with it, move on, move on.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: And then it manifests and it comes up in a different form or a different way.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: So digging, as you said, digging under the layers with help or support from a girlfriend or a professional is really important to get to that root cause of what it actually is.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: So, so interesting.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: Again, I guess for many of my clients like yours, they've been holding all the balls in the air and juggling all the things, and they're often at tipping point.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why they probably reach out to you.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: Often that's why they reach out for me.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be really interested for you to share what are some of the key strategies that you use to help women, your clients, work through that ongoing stress and overwhelm.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so when we are stressed, our sympathetic nervous system is switched on.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: We've already spoken about that.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: So think of it as one of the modes of our nervous system.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: When this is activated, we see the stress response cascade of reactions happening.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: So that cortisol, adrenaline, that increased heart rate, that pupil dilation, etc.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: The very first thing we need to do or learn how to do when we are stressed is to switch our nervous system into parasympathetic mode.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: So this is fundamental to how we manage stress.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_01: So the parasympathetic nervous system is the other mode, and it's responsible for taking the body out of that state of emergency and bringing it back to balance and to conserve energy.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, it helps to simulate our digestive activity, you know, that whole concept of rest and digest comes from the parasympathetic nervous system.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: So it reduces cortisol, adrenaline, it slows our breathing down, it basically undoes the work of the sympathetic nervous system.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: So when it tones down that or switches off that fight-flight response.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly, yes.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_01: So when we stimulate the vagus nerve, which is the major nerve involved in the parasympathetic nervous system, we tell our body that it is time to relax.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: So, how do we stimulate this response in the body?
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: So there are a few techniques that we know work.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: So there's so many of them, but I might just go through the top four and of course let me know if you want to elaborate on anything.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: So the very first thing is cold exposure.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: So this is a very simple technique: putting a cold cloth on your forehead or the back of the neck, splashing your face with cold water.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: It needs to be 10 degrees or under.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_01: This directly stimulates the vagus nerve.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_01: So anybody with anxiety or anyone that suffers from panic attacks, I get them to keep a wet face cloth in the freezer, ready to go.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's shown to be really effective.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: The other technique, simple, simple, all of these that we're going to talk about are pretty much free and simple.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but we need to go out of our way to do them, and I'm going to talk about how to do that.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: So the other technique is EFT, which is a emotional freedom technique or tapping, which is something I believe that every single person should know how to do.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: It is free and it is really effective.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it's been shown to reduce cortisol levels by 43%.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: So this tapping action helps to shut down the stress centers of the brain within seconds.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: And if you like, Sal, we can add my patient handout to the show notes if you like.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: So people how to do it.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: And there's a video, um, a link to a video for people to watch.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_01: This is actually something that's being taught to children, so really effective.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: The other technique um things that we can do is all about stimulating your senses.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_01: So positively stimulating sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: You may have heard of the five senses grounding technique, which often does the rounds on social media.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: So it's that you know, name the five things that you can see, four that you can feel, three you can hear, two that you can smell, one that you can taste.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_01: That is all about parasympathetic activation.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: So the next time you see that, it's not just something that was just made up for social media.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: It there is a reason behind that.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, I love I love the science behind that, both EFT tapping and that mindfulness technique that there is actually a scientific base.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so with our senses, our senses are designed to uh assess our environment and but basically label things as safe or unsafe.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: So when we smell something or we see something that we don't like, for example, of course that stimulates our stress response.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: But if the opposite occurs, we smell something that we really enjoy, we see something that we love, we hear beautiful sounds, all those sorts of things, or we taste something that we feel you know that is delicious, for example, that stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: So the other ways that we can engage the senses is, you know, getting outdoors, grounding in nature, getting your bare feet on the grass, getting the sun directly on your skin, decluttering or tidying up.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: So think of sight.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_01: We want to basically declutter the mess that's around us.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_01: Colour therapy and visualization is really effective here.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: Humming, gargling, chanting, thinking of the sound.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, our vagus nerve directly passes through our vocal cord, so that's been shown to be very effective.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: Listening to low rhythmic sounds is also quite effective.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_01: So alpha waves binaural beats, really great to listen to.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: When it comes to smell, you know, here is where aromatherapy can be really useful.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_01: Also, simply smelling a food that you enjoy cooking, cooking foods that you love will activate the parasympathetic nervous system and get also get your digestion going, which is one of its main roles.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I guess mindfully cooking, like not just madly, frantically cooking, but being present in the moment and taking the time to inhale and absolutely.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_01: And mindfulness is also a really great technique to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system as well.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, massage, pleasurable touch.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_01: The other one is deep breathing and breath work.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: So, one of the many techniques that people can try is something called alternative nostril breathing, which has been shown to reduce cortisol levels and also stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: But even just simply sitting down and taking some slow deep breaths with straight posture, open chest, shoulders back will help.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: Those particular like breathing techniques are more effective if you can practice them at times when you're actually not feeling particularly stressed, so that they can become automatic to us when we need to draw on them.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: And also with breathing techniques, a lot of people will try, you know, for 30 seconds a minute and say, Oh, didn't work, didn't work.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_01: You need to you need to be trying these things for a few minutes, at least, definitely, I would say a minimum of five.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: Even if I'm gonna add in there, even if you build up, you start with 30 seconds, you build up to a minute, and you build up to that minimum of five minutes over time.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: So if you can't sit still enough for five minutes, just start small, just start.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: You need to absolutely, yeah, good point.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, there's lots of other ways to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we know movement exercise, of course, but anything that you find relaxing will help.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_01: So it will help to reduce cortisol, you know, putting your legs on the wall, having a salt bath, colouring, dancing, laughing, put on a funny movie.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_01: You know, the list is is quite long here.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: But the the thing I want to point out is that stress management and recovery is not linear.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: What works for one may not work for another, but what works for you one day might not work for you the next day.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: So that's why we need to practice a few techniques so that we have more than one to fall back on.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, the other really important thing to note here is that you may not feel like doing them in a moment of acute stress or panic.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_01: So we need to actively go out of our way to do these things.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_01: It feels icky, it can feel like we're going against what our body is telling us to do.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: Our body is primed to start running when we're feeling stressed.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: And you're choosing to sit and do some deep breathing.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_01: It feels strange in the beginning and it's challenging.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_01: So please know that there is nothing wrong with you.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_01: We are trying to override our stress response, and that can take a little bit of time.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_01: So that's why I was like, you know, try for 30 seconds, but build it up because you need to keep going.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: And especially if we've had that stress response or it's been elevated for an extended period of time, feeling like that becomes our norm.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_00: So breaking like breaking that cycle can, as you said, feel icky and wrong and like we're doing it wrong, or yeah.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's a really great point.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's the times where people will often give up because I go, no, this is not working.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_01: This technique, it's too simple, it's not going to work for me.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: We're trying to override our stress response here because the emotional stress may still be there in the background.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_01: So we need to actively choose to do some of these techniques, you know, and there's obviously other ways that people can be supported, you know, medically, nutritionally, you know, or with physical therapies and so forth.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_01: But it doesn't have to be hard.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: We are conditioned to believe that solutions need to be hard and almost unattainable.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, so we tend to overlook the simplest of techniques, but learning how to switch on the parasympathetic nervous system is one of the key foundational things that I really get people to start with.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: And then we once you master that, then everything else is actually a lot easier.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, a really quick note on burnout because you asked me.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_01: You know, especially for women that are juggling lots of things.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_01: If you are overworked, if you are juggling lots of things, that needs to be explored and you will need to offload.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: Simple.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_01: There is a big mindset component for a lot of people who are on the road to burnout.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, looking at their nutritional status and lifestyle is important, but it's also not healthy and sustainable to be constantly supplementing for energy, abusing caffeine and so on.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_01: It is about mindset.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_01: We need to be at peace with doing less, we need to be at peace with being less for other people, and we need to be more comfortable with putting ourselves first.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_01: So that is mindset and burnout, and it can take time, but you can get there.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_01: But I just wanted to put that point in because if that is a component of of your life or something that's very real for you, it needs to be addressed.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: And you will need to offload.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: 100%.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_00: And offloading can look different for different people.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: It can be outsourcing, it be, it can be, as you said, doing less, accepting that you can't do all the things.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: And that's I wanted to, I just wanted to break that into applause and cheer.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_01: Hallelujah.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: We do, you know, um, and this is not just women.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_01: I also want to, you know, make it to men as well, is that we we try and do all of the things.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and if that doesn't feel right to you, if you're having trouble letting that go, it is it is mindset that we we really need to working on here.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_01: We need to be at peace with doing less, being less for other people, and more comfortable with putting ourselves first.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's the mantra for the for the entire episode.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_00: We need to, what would you say?
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_01: You we need to be comfortable doing less, being less, being less for other people, and putting yourself.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: Hallelujah.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: Which sort of seems like a nice place to almost wrap up.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: But in closing, I want to ask you my final question, which I've started asking all my podcast guests.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_00: If you could choose one song, one or two.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: If you can't choose one, that's fine.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you could choose one song to support women going through or experiencing stress and overwhelm, one song to support your clients, what would it be?
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_01: I chose I chose Walking Away by Craig David, because that was a song that was sort of like in the charts when I was going through this emotional burnout, you know, what is it, 15 years ago, something like that.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so it was the first thing that popped into my head, but gosh, this list could have been really long, especially for relationship stress.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like, well, feel free to let me know and I'll add them all in the show notes.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_01: We're building playlists.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, there's playlists for everything.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: So, oh, and yeah, but no, Craig David walking away.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_01: I just yeah, I've always really loved that song.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: So I've kind of it's it's on lots of my playlists.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's a wonderful song to go back to.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_00: Beautiful.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_00: And well, thank you.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know that song, so I'm actually going to go off and listen to it.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_00: You'll know it if you hear itself.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:00
  unknown: Okay.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_00: 100%.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um now in closing, can you share with listeners how they can find you, what you've got coming up, how they can work with you if that is something that they feel called to do?
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_01: So if anybody wants to learn more about activating the parasympathetic nervous system, they can listen to the replay of the rest and restore masterclass, which I did two weeks ago.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_01: So the link for that, it's an automatic download and it's free.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we can put that in the show notes.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and also my healthy mindset, the doors for my healthy mindset program will be open very soon.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_01: So you can pop your name on the waiting list.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_01: That is my signature program, which um in which I use Naturopathy, Life and Mindset Coaching, which is the only way you can actually do coaching with me that helps women not only improve their health but also disconnect from stress and work on that mindset that's been leading them to that burn-out burnout skill.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, you can also organise a clinical consult with me to work on any health issues that you need support in, or a free 10-minute chat if you want to know more about how I can help you.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_01: So we will put all of those details in the show notes.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_01: So it's just a quick link and automatic download, and um, hopefully, you know, especially the masterclass is a really good place to start.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's right on topic with what we've been talking about.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I go into a lot of those techniques in more detail and then and expand so you actually know how to implement these in everyday life.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_01: And it's a really generous share.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um also drop your social media channels in the show notes as well.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_00: Amazing.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, thanks, Al.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so everybody can connect and learn a little bit more about you and your work.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to finish by saying thank you, thank you so much.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: There were quite a few moments through there where I just want to go, yeah, yeah.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sure so many of so many women can really um identify with at least some of what you've shared because even if it's not prolonged and ongoing, we go through seasons of this.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: We go through seasons of juggle and overwhelm and overwork.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_00: So it's really important that um that we have skills and techniques to ease that.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_00: So thanks so much for sharing.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_01: Pleasure, Sal.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for having me.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I hope that some of these things are landing true for a lot of people and it helps.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_00: No doubt, I'm sure.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks again, babe.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Sally Ann Hartnell, Relationship Coach, and you've been listening to Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_00: You can follow me on Instagram at Reflect Coaching, and if you can think of anyone who would love this episode, please, please share it with them.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'd also be so grateful if you'd follow the podcast and review this episode so we can get it in the ears of a whole lot more humans just like you who are ready to reclaim and liberate themselves in life and love.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you'll join me next time for another episode of Reflect, Reclaim and Liberate.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_00: Until then.