Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / How You Stand Under Pressure 2/7: Doing the Next Right Thing Without Panicking

Transcript

How You Stand Under Pressure 2/7: Doing the Next Right Thing Without Panicking · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back, beautiful ones.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back, beautiful souls.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: You are in the sweet spot, and it is Take Action Tuesday, and I'm delighted you're here.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: So glad you could be here again with me as we go through a wonderful series here on Take Action Tuesday here in the Sweet Spot.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: On how you stand under pressure.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: This is episode two of the seven episodes we're gonna do on how you stand under pressure.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: This episode is entitled Doing the Next Right Thing Without Panicking.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'm Dr.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a board certified psychiatrist, as you know.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: I work with athletes, executives, first responders, and people who are expected to act when the stakes are real.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: But more than that, I am your fellow traveler on this journey that you and I are on.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: This journey we've been taking every single day.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: The journey of life.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: As we have had to learn how to move forward without letting anxiety, panic, and all the stress and pressure grab the steering wheel.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: So let's ground ourselves.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Remember yesterday, making moves Monday?
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: We made a critical distinction, didn't we?
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: We said that stress is different than pressure.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'll remind you that stress is when demands feel bigger than your resources.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: And pressure is when the moment matters and how you show up really counts.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: And we said that when you're not sure what to do first, the move isn't rushing the outcome, which is what most of us do because we want relief.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: No, the move isn't about rushing the outcome.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's about stabilizing your stand.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Stabilizing your stance.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: And hence the name of this series is How You Stand Under Pressure.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Today, Take Action Tuesday, we answer the most practical question of the week.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: What do you actually do under pressure without panicking?
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what usually goes wrong pressure hits.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: The brain tries to solve everything at once.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: The whole future has to be done right now.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Every consequence has to be addressed right now.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Every possible outcome has to be fixed right now.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And that kind of overload in the brain creates panic.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: You know, a good old friend, the amygdala.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't talked about the amygdala in a long time, the brain's threat center.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: It could get really worked up.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Not because you're weak, it's just trying to protect you.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's trying to tell you that there's too much happening too fast, that there's something that's not working out there.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's a threat out there.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: There are lions and tigers and beards and well, maybe not lions and tigers and beers, but you know what I'm saying.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: Things feel like you know it's a jungle out there.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the threat factor.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: And when the brain gets into that mode, oh forget about it.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: We start reacting too fast.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: We jack up our nervous systems, and everything feels urgent.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: And we might even be short and nasty to people when we get like that.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, it's important that we figure out how we're gonna stand under pressure.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: So today isn't about motivation, my friend.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's about sequence.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, about understanding the sequence and how you're gonna flow.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where this great author, Jim Murphy, the author of Inner Excellence, a great book that I've quoted here before, is so helpful.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna paraphrase him.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: I can never achieve what he the way he thinks, but this is what he teaches.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: He says that high performers don't try to control the outcomes when pressure gets high.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: And that's good for us to know.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: They don't try to control the outcomes.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: What they do is a little different, they narrow their focus to what they can control right now.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, I talked about that yesterday.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: In the locker rooms that I've worked in in the past, I've seen this great sign right here, right now.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: What that sign told me was that you've got to be in the moment.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: You can't be in the future and the past and try to fix things.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: You've got to be right here, right now.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: And what Murphy is teaching us is that the high performers, that's what they do when they're under pressure.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: You ever watch a great athlete perform in the fourth quarter or at the end of a game and see how linear and focused they are?
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's because they have narrowed their focus to what they can control right now.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Their response, their process, and their next action.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: They're not too far ahead, and they're certainly not in the past.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's not philosophy.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's how people stay functional under pressure, under a heavy load.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's you and me when we get it right.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of asking yourself something inspirational or something vague when that moment hits, here's the question that really works under pressure.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: What's the one responsible thing I can do next without making this worse?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: What's the one responsible thing I can do next without making this worse?
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know that just asking that question to yourself can stop you from making terrible mistakes or impulsive decisions, can bring you insights?
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's amazing.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Let me explain why that works.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: That question, it shrinks the time horizon.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: You stop trying to manage tomorrow.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: You're no longer trying to figure out next week or how this thing is going to end.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: You're not worried about that.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: You're aware.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Where are you?
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: You got it.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: You're right here, you're right now.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: You come back to now with that question.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: What is the one responsible thing I can do next without making this thing worse?
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: Not what I'm gonna do tomorrow.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: Not what if this doesn't work out for me?
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: What can I do next?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: That question also filters out what we call panic behavior.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: You see, panic wants to speed things up.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Panic wants speed, it wants drama, it wants really, but you know, it also wants relief too.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: It wants speed, drama, and relief.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it wants all three speed, drama, and relief.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, when panic sets in, that's why we make impulsive decisions.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: We want quick relief.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we want to blow up with folks or whatever, and we want it fast.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: But if we're responsible, if we're wise, if we're work walking in our stable stand, our that level of responsibility wants more stability and it wants more order.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: It wants kind of like what the opposite panic wants.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, the other thing is that asking that kind of question, what is res what is the one responsible thing I can do next without making this worse?
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: It also not only does it shrink the time horizon, not only does it filter out the panic behavior, it also protects your identity.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: You're no longer asking, how do I win this thing?
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: You're asking, how do I stay grounded, balanced while this is happening and unfolding in front of me, which puts you in a driver's seat to be able to make really good decisions?
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: That shift alone can change which part of your brain is going to be in charge.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, we talked about the PFC, the prefrontal cortex, and we talked about the amygdala.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: The threat center is the amygdala.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: The prefrontal cortex is your CEO, your decision maker, and you want that part of the brain to be making decisions under pressure, not the panic part.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Scripture describes this same mechanism.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: The ancient wisdom never fails.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: They just use a different language.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: In the message Bible, Paul writes in Philippians 4, verses 6 and 7, don't fret or worry.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of worrying, pray.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Letting God's peace guard your heart and mind.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: Let your petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God's peace guard your heart and mind.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's not a command to stop acting, my friends.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's not just saying sit down and do nothing.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's a sequence.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: There's a sequence in this verse, right?
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: The ancient wisdom is nothing to sleep on.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Trust me on that.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: What the sequence is is that the worry is gonna show up.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Has worry ever showed up for you?
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure it has, it's showing up for me.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: But when it shows up, you gotta name it.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: Once you name it, it slows down.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: Then the peace, once you convert it with your praying, with your meditation, and the way you think, the peace comes on you and it guards your heart and mind.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: The peace guards you, and the guarding isn't emotional comfort, it's cognitive protection.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: Your mind is different.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: You don't see it the same way.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, when you don't see it the same way and you don't think about it the same way, guess what?
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: You don't feel it the same way, and it keeps the panic from making the decisions in your life.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: You don't come from a place of panic because you have that peace that surpasses understanding, you're that calm.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: So prayer is not an escape hatch, okay?
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's a pause that restores order before you take action.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Does that make sense?
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: Same mechanism that Murphy's teaching, the same mechanism that psychology is confirming.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: All in the ancient wisdom.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um here's the rule to carry with you today.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Under pressure, don't try to do everything right now.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: Not everything.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: Do one responsible thing and then pause.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: Here's why.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: When you do one responsible thing, my friend, you send a signal to your nervous system.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not trapped, I'm not hopeless, I can do something, I have agency.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: And once your brain realizes that, because you've taken one action, your heart rate begins to settle, your breathing can slow down, and the thinking part of your brain comes back online.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: Your prefrontal cortex is like, hey, hey, I'm back.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: And your amygdala, the threat center, is like, all right, I'll give you a break today.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: The pause allows your nervous system to downshift before the next decision, and that's what you want to be.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: You don't want to be in a nervous, anxious state, so you've got to take action.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's too take action Tuesday.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: So this kind of questioning, this kind of pausing prevents momentum from turning into panic.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: It stops the energy from blowing up into something bigger than it needs to because you're now back in the driver's seat.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: And this is how high performers actually operate.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: Athletes do it between plays.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: First responders do it between calls.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: Surgeons do it between critical steps.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: And seasoned leaders do it before they speak, not after.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: Pressure isn't managed by speed, it's managed by sequence.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: One step, take a space, then a next step.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll make it even more concrete and we're out.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: For an athlete, the next right thing after a mistake isn't a hero play.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: Stop.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: Stop doing the hero play thing.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: It just messes everything up.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: If you are an athlete and you make a mistake, don't make a hero play on the next play if you can help it.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's positioning, it's fundamentals, it's getting back to basics.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: If you're somebody under financial pressure, it's not about fixing your entire life right now, it's about opening the bill, facing it, coming up with one single plan that you're going to make.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Making one phone call, setting one boundary, taking one step, taking a breath, and working at it.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're in a relationship that's just terrible.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's not good, it's not resolving, it's not, it's not getting you to the solutions that you want to in this relationship.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: Don't try to solve everything tonight or today.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: Pause.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: Pause before you react.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: Think about your sequence.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: Choose timing over doing something that's just going to relieve you right now.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: And saying something you regret, pause before you react.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: You can control you.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: You may not be able to control them, but you certainly have control over you, and they don't get to choose your emotions.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: You do.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: And look, maybe you're facing a brick presentation tomorrow.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you have a big decision.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're on the verge of something huge, and you want to be impressive, you want to really impress.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Well, maybe that's your issue.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe switch by stabilizing your stand to be more clear.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: Make one clear point.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: Take one clear breath, one clear sentence before the next clear sentence.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: One at a time.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: Take it easy, okay?
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because across these situations, the principle is the same, my friend.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: You don't calm the anxiety, you don't get to the finish line by just rushing and being into tomorrow.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: You have to stabilize your stand.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's what this series is about.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: You calm anxiety and panic by narrowing the moment until you can stand inside this moment and make a decision.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: Be in this moment.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: Don't look to the left, to the right, don't look too far ahead or too behind.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: Stay in the moment.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's what the elite do.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's what the first responders do.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: You don't want the fireman coming into your house and be and he's worried about yesterday or tomorrow.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: You want to put the fire out, right?
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: He's gotta be in the moment.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: She's gotta be able to handle it right there, right now.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: You don't want your doctor in the operating room worried about uh taking investments five days from now.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: You want them operating on you properly in the moment.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: All right now.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, you're listening to the sweet spot.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: We're digging in, we're digging in on how you stabilize your stand.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: And this is Take Action Tuesday, and now you know you're going to narrow the moment until you can stand inside of it and make a great decision right here, right now.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: Tomorrow, oh boy, tomorrow is Win It All Wednesday.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna talk about why confidence comes and goes, but belief, belief quietly determines how far you perform when it gets loud.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: Don't miss tomorrow.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: Do not miss When It All Wednesday, I promise you.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if this gave you something you could actually use the next time pressure spikes in your life and you want to practice narrowing the moment and seeing how you can stand inside of this narrow moment, please subscribe.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: This is free.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: And if someone you love is spiraling or they're facing something heavy, share this with them and let's see what happens.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: Beautiful souls, I'm with you.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: Sweet winners, I'm with you.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to carry certainty to move forward.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: What you need is steadiness.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: Your stand has to be stable, and from there we will build together.