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Discovering Deception & Moving On! · She's On The Money

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Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
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Speaker 1: the Order Kerney Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
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Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
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Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
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Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
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Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
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Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
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Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
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Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
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Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
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Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
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Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money the podcast.
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Speaker 4: Millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another one
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Speaker 4: of our money diaries where we get to talk to
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Speaker 4: one of our incredible She's on the Money community members
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Speaker 4: all about their money story. Let's jump straight into it,
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Speaker 4: because this week I got a message and it went
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Speaker 4: like this, Hi, Victoria, my story is a rollercoaster. I'm
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Speaker 4: one of getting through six years of financial coercion in
1:21
Speaker 4: a relationship. I've recovered a sixty five thousand dollar car
1:25
Speaker 4: debt and a forty thousand dollar personal loan, both in
1:28
Speaker 4: my name.
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Speaker 2: Due to my ex.
1:30
Speaker 4: I have two kids with my new husband, but this
1:32
Speaker 4: relationship has recently broken down. I left my full time
1:36
Speaker 4: salary to start a business in December twenty twenty one
1:39
Speaker 4: to support kids, which was tricky timing, but I'm now
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Speaker 4: on my way back. What a journey it has been,
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Speaker 4: Money Diarist, Welcome to the show. I'm so excited to
1:49
Speaker 4: learn more about you.
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Speaker 5: Thank you for having me.
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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I feel like there's just so many
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Speaker 4: questions I have, but we'll dive in with the first question.
1:56
Speaker 4: I always ask whitches money darist, what grade would you
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Speaker 4: give you your money habits from an AA through to
2:02
Speaker 4: an F. If I asked you to give them a grade.
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Speaker 3: I would say a C right in the middle, because
2:10
Speaker 3: there has been so much change and I feel like
2:12
Speaker 3: I haven't quite gotten my decks in a room yet,
2:15
Speaker 3: but I feel like I'm on.
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Speaker 5: The way to it.
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Speaker 2: I love this. Let's learn a little bit more about it.
2:20
Speaker 2: Let's take it all the way back.
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Speaker 4: Money dis Can you tell me a little bit more
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Speaker 4: about your money story?
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Speaker 5: Cool?
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Speaker 3: So my ex and I were engaged, We're in a
2:30
Speaker 3: relationship from twenty thirteen to twenty nineteen, and long story short, yeah,
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Speaker 3: lots of financial coercion and just compulsive lying about money.
2:43
Speaker 3: And I always had this uneasy feeling like why is money.
2:48
Speaker 5: Always a conversation? Where is the money going?
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Speaker 3: Like from what he's telling me to what I'm actually seeing,
2:56
Speaker 3: it doesn't add up. And we will working in the
3:00
Speaker 3: sporting fitness industry, and we set up a business within
3:06
Speaker 3: a business, and for that we needed to buy a
3:09
Speaker 3: new equipment and we wanted to go on a holiday.
3:12
Speaker 3: So for some reason, I was like, yeah, we'll take
3:16
Speaker 3: out a personal loan of forty thousand dollars in my name.
3:19
Speaker 3: That's fine because you can't get approved for one because
3:22
Speaker 3: within the last I think it was like a five
3:25
Speaker 3: or seven year period, he had claimed bankruptcy from another business, which, yes,
3:30
Speaker 3: that's a red flag that I didn't take notice of.
3:33
Speaker 4: But that's okay, because when you're in love and you
3:35
Speaker 4: trust someone, you immediately go no, let's make this happen totally.
3:39
Speaker 3: I was like, this is my forever person. I will
3:42
Speaker 3: support you whatever exactly, Oh, forty thousand dollars personal loan.
3:47
Speaker 3: And he also needed a new count but again couldn't
3:51
Speaker 3: get a loan because YadA YadA.
3:54
Speaker 5: So we were like, yep, we want to start.
3:56
Speaker 3: A family, let's get like a full drysuv thing.
4:01
Speaker 5: And so yeah, I can totally take out a.
4:04
Speaker 3: Sixty five thousand dollars car loan in my name and
4:07
Speaker 3: run it through my business. So yeah, he was paying
4:12
Speaker 3: the repayments, but I would often get calls and emails
4:16
Speaker 3: and text messages saying your repayment's like, your repayment's late,
4:20
Speaker 3: and I'd be like, just pay it on time. It's
4:23
Speaker 3: not that hard, and that just became a bit of
4:26
Speaker 3: an issue and all these red flags from the state.
4:29
Speaker 3: So that's my number one thing is maybe just don't
4:32
Speaker 3: take out over one hundred thousand dollars worth of loans
4:34
Speaker 3: in your name for someone else.
4:36
Speaker 5: Yeah.
4:37
Speaker 4: Look, it's really challenging though, because I can see how
4:39
Speaker 4: it would have happened, and I think a lot of
4:41
Speaker 4: people might jump to the conclusion and well, that's so silly.
4:43
Speaker 2: I can't believe you do that. Don't do it.
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Speaker 4: And I mean even you right now you're like, don't
4:47
Speaker 4: do that. But in the moment, you're like, well, this
4:50
Speaker 4: is my person. I love my person. We've got this
4:52
Speaker 4: life we're building together. There's some stuff in his past
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Speaker 4: that's so fine. We're going to get through it, you know,
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Speaker 4: to move forward and actually create the life we want.
5:00
Speaker 4: These are the decisions that we're making, and obviously they
5:02
Speaker 4: weren't great. But I'm sure you know what, there are
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Speaker 4: probably some people in our community who have done exactly
5:07
Speaker 4: that and their partner's paid off the loans early and
5:10
Speaker 4: everything with sunshine and roses.
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Speaker 2: And I'm assuming that's what you thought it would be.
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Speaker 4: Because when you've got those blinkers on, you just don't
5:18
Speaker 4: see what you don't see, and even though red flags exist,
5:20
Speaker 4: you sometimes just go, that's all right. Like I know
5:22
Speaker 4: some other people might think this is a red flag,
5:24
Speaker 4: but I know this person deeply because they're my partner,
5:27
Speaker 4: right They were engaged, so he's going to be here
5:30
Speaker 4: for the long haul.
5:30
Speaker 5: Yes.
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Speaker 3: In the start of those types of relationships, it's all
5:34
Speaker 3: about confusing the person with words and beautiful gestures and stuff,
5:40
Speaker 3: so that when red flags do pop up, the person
5:44
Speaker 3: holds onto the hope of oh no, but their actual
5:47
Speaker 3: behavior is you know, loving and grand gestures and all
5:50
Speaker 3: that sort of stuff that the red flags just get
5:53
Speaker 3: overtaken because essentially you're just.
5:55
Speaker 4: Confused exactly, and they did that on purpose.
5:59
Speaker 2: So tell bit more.
6:00
Speaker 4: You took out these loans, obviously repayments started being late.
6:04
Speaker 2: What did that then lead to?
6:06
Speaker 3: So once we separated and I moved into State, the
6:11
Speaker 3: personal loan, so the forty thousand dollar loan was down
6:16
Speaker 3: to about twenty five thousand dollars, so still a fair
6:20
Speaker 3: amount on it. And I in that time frame had
6:24
Speaker 3: also bought myself a car, but ran it through my
6:27
Speaker 3: dad's business because I already had a car through my name,
6:30
Speaker 3: which was my partner's car. And he offered to pay
6:34
Speaker 3: off that loan as well, which was only one hundred
6:36
Speaker 3: dollars a week. So when we separated, the agreements was
6:41
Speaker 3: that he would continue to pay off the personal loan.
6:44
Speaker 3: I paid eight thousand dollars into that loan, which was
6:49
Speaker 3: equivalent to the repayments that he had been doing for
6:52
Speaker 3: my car, so that brought it down to about fifteen
6:56
Speaker 3: thousand dollars. We set up this agreement in writing that
7:01
Speaker 3: he would continue to pay the loan. It wouldn't have
7:04
Speaker 3: stood up in court, but I don't think he was
7:07
Speaker 3: smart enough to know that it wouldn't, so he thought
7:10
Speaker 3: it was a legal document I knew it wasn't quite,
7:13
Speaker 3: but it was something in writing, so he would keep
7:15
Speaker 3: the repayments coming.
7:17
Speaker 5: Fast.
7:17
Speaker 3: Forward a couple of years and I had my new
7:21
Speaker 3: partner and I'd fallen pregnant, and I still had this
7:24
Speaker 3: stress of this personal loan, and so I think by
7:28
Speaker 3: that time it was down to that seven thousand dollars,
7:32
Speaker 3: and I asked my dad and I said, I don't
7:36
Speaker 3: want this loan to be a debt. Can I borrow
7:39
Speaker 3: seven thousand dollars so I can.
7:41
Speaker 5: Pay that off?
7:43
Speaker 3: And my ex will continue to pay the repayments, and.
7:47
Speaker 5: If he doesn't for whatever reason.
7:49
Speaker 3: I will cop that on the chin and I will
7:51
Speaker 3: just repay you that seven thousand dollars. So that meant
7:54
Speaker 3: I had no debts to my name, which was more
7:56
Speaker 3: important to me than the actual value of the money.
7:59
Speaker 5: I just wanted that person out of my life.
8:02
Speaker 4: Especially when you're planning a family and you're going to
8:04
Speaker 4: have a baby, like this is not where I need
8:06
Speaker 4: to be, even if it costs me more.
8:08
Speaker 2: I don't need this stress exactly.
8:10
Speaker 3: So that was fine, And eventually it did get paid
8:14
Speaker 3: off when I was pregnant with my second child, so
8:18
Speaker 3: that it was really nice. To actually not have to
8:22
Speaker 3: fall into like a debt for a debt, so that
8:25
Speaker 3: finally got paid off, and with the car really, in hindsight,
8:29
Speaker 3: because it was technically mine, however, I was into state
8:33
Speaker 3: I really should have kept the car.
8:35
Speaker 5: And sold it and just paid off that debt.
8:37
Speaker 3: But I couldn't really access the car to get it,
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Speaker 3: and there's no way he would have handed it over,
8:43
Speaker 3: and I didn't want to have to get you know,
8:44
Speaker 3: police and lawyers involved. So for me to get that
8:48
Speaker 3: loan transferred into his name through one of the big
8:52
Speaker 3: four banks took months of paperwork back and forwards, but
8:57
Speaker 3: he eventually got the car and his name and the
9:00
Speaker 3: loan in his name. So was his problem and again
9:04
Speaker 3: just not tied to me anyway.
9:05
Speaker 4: That's so stressful though to have to go through. Was
9:09
Speaker 4: he really, I guess, defiant during that, not wanting to
9:12
Speaker 4: take it on.
9:13
Speaker 5: Yes.
9:13
Speaker 3: It got to a point where I think the amount
9:16
Speaker 3: of money was like ten grand that was floating around,
9:19
Speaker 3: and I said to him, why don't you just borrow
9:21
Speaker 3: the money off.
9:22
Speaker 5: Your parents and pay them.
9:24
Speaker 3: Back like interest free loan be paid off quicker, you
9:28
Speaker 3: know than like really ten thousand dollars isn't that much money?
9:32
Speaker 3: And it later came out I had a conversation with
9:35
Speaker 3: his family and he'd already taken a lot of their
9:38
Speaker 3: money and they didn't have any super.
9:39
Speaker 4: Less and so of course they wouldn't give him another
9:42
Speaker 4: ten grand.
9:43
Speaker 3: Yeah, so they physically couldn't. And then all these lives
9:47
Speaker 3: started coming out from people that he'd asked to invest in,
9:50
Speaker 3: these fake businesses that had lost money. And there were
9:54
Speaker 3: stories of him collecting money from friends of friends for
9:57
Speaker 3: someone's birthday present, which was out to thousand dollars, and
10:00
Speaker 3: then trying to run off with that money. So all
10:03
Speaker 3: of these really fraudulent theft stories started to come out
10:09
Speaker 3: about all this money stuff.
10:10
Speaker 2: Oh that is so it.
10:12
Speaker 3: Oh it's such a problem for this person. And how
10:14
Speaker 3: have they not been reported to the police?
10:17
Speaker 4: So what's happening there so hasn't been reported to the police.
10:21
Speaker 4: Is he just still out there coercing people into giving
10:24
Speaker 4: them their money for these fake investments or how is
10:28
Speaker 4: he being held accountable?
10:30
Speaker 5: I literally have no idea.
10:31
Speaker 3: I think in the fine print of these investments, if
10:37
Speaker 3: you're an investor, you kind of sign a thing to say, hey,
10:40
Speaker 3: like if the business doesn't work.
10:41
Speaker 2: Out, like, yeah, you could lose any to lose that money.
10:44
Speaker 5: I'd a couple of them call me and say like
10:46
Speaker 5: what do I do?
10:47
Speaker 3: And I said, just get a paper from your lawyer
10:49
Speaker 3: that says you're on going to be on a payment plan.
10:51
Speaker 5: It might take a little bit longer, but at.
10:53
Speaker 3: Least you get some more all of your money back,
10:57
Speaker 3: and he won't know that it's not going to stand
10:59
Speaker 3: in court because he can't afford a proper lawyer.
11:02
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, Yeah, he's still out there doing it. Oh
11:05
Speaker 2: my god, I don't know. That makes me feel sick.
11:07
Speaker 4: I cannot stand stories like that where it's just these
11:11
Speaker 4: people that take advantage of you and then just run
11:14
Speaker 4: off with it.
11:15
Speaker 2: I mean, karma does have a way of coming around.
11:17
Speaker 4: But my gosh, is that something that you carried into
11:20
Speaker 4: your next relationship? Maybe some anxieties or like some hang ups,
11:25
Speaker 4: or you weren't willing to share money in another relationship,
11:27
Speaker 4: Like how did that impact the relationship with your now
11:30
Speaker 4: husband that you're separating with.
11:32
Speaker 3: Yes, so I never had joint bank accounts with my
11:37
Speaker 3: exx and I never have in a relationship. It's just
11:41
Speaker 3: something that I've never done because I've never seen the
11:45
Speaker 3: point in it, you're just really moving money across to
11:48
Speaker 3: somewhere for no reason. So in that sense of things,
11:53
Speaker 3: there wasn't really a conversation about it because neither of
11:56
Speaker 3: us said to one another, hey, let's do a joint
11:58
Speaker 3: bank account. My husband knew what was happening with the
12:04
Speaker 3: repayments and stuff, so we were very open about the
12:09
Speaker 3: money situation, but there was never a conversation of him
12:12
Speaker 3: to go, oh, well, let's do a joint bank account.
12:15
Speaker 5: Anyway. So I think always.
12:17
Speaker 3: Having that independence of having my own money has just
12:20
Speaker 3: stuck with me and I think it will stay with
12:23
Speaker 3: me forever. And I know plenty of long term partners
12:27
Speaker 3: that still don't have joint bank accounts. And I think
12:29
Speaker 3: that's really normal because you know, if we think of
12:33
Speaker 3: this is going to be really like negative. But if
12:35
Speaker 3: we think of marriages like a business, it's the same stats,
12:39
Speaker 3: you know, like forty percent succeed So yeah, exactly did
12:42
Speaker 3: you start shifting money around? Really, there's no point if
12:46
Speaker 3: you're paying rent or mortgage repayments or bills, you just
12:50
Speaker 3: split the money.
12:51
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, that's fair, And I know that, like obviously,
12:54
Speaker 4: lots of people have different ways of managing it, and
12:56
Speaker 4: there's actually no right way. But it makes me so
12:59
Speaker 4: happy to know that your money wasn't as intertwined with
13:02
Speaker 4: this person as it could have been, Like I feel
13:05
Speaker 4: like that put you in a much better position than
13:08
Speaker 4: what you came out as. Like, it's just, yeah, it
13:11
Speaker 4: gives me so much anxiety that this person is out
13:14
Speaker 4: there taking advantage of other people. And what would have
13:16
Speaker 4: you done if he actually had access to all of
13:18
Speaker 4: your funds.
13:19
Speaker 3: Exactly because all this money was disappearing and I didn't
13:24
Speaker 3: know where it was going, but then later found out
13:26
Speaker 3: like there was a substance abuse problem happening right in front.
13:29
Speaker 5: Of my face. So no, only that, but then you've.
13:32
Speaker 3: Got money shifting out to god knows where to fuel
13:36
Speaker 3: that addiction as well.
13:38
Speaker 2: How did you figure all of that out?
13:40
Speaker 4: Was there like a turning point in the relationship where
13:43
Speaker 4: all of a sudden you realized, oh my gosh, this
13:46
Speaker 4: is definitely happening, or did somebody else bring it to
13:49
Speaker 4: your attention?
13:49
Speaker 2: Like how does this come up?
13:51
Speaker 3: Somebody else brought it to my attention because they had
13:55
Speaker 3: seen the transactions happen. They'd been you know, messaged for it,
14:01
Speaker 3: you know, looking for it, and then when that light
14:04
Speaker 3: bulb clicked, I went, this is where all that cash
14:08
Speaker 3: is going, Him saying that he lost an envelope of
14:11
Speaker 3: cash from a client and fell out.
14:13
Speaker 5: Of his pocket.
14:15
Speaker 3: These people coming over to our apartment, but not coming upstairs,
14:18
Speaker 3: just staying downstairs and having a bit of a chat.
14:21
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
14:22
Speaker 3: Yeah, him saying he was tired, and you know, just
14:27
Speaker 3: so many obvious things, you know, going to the bathroom
14:30
Speaker 3: lots and having this vague look on his face.
14:34
Speaker 5: But I just didn't think anything of it.
14:35
Speaker 4: Well, if you're not a substance abuser and you never
14:38
Speaker 4: have been, it might be something that you're going on.
14:40
Speaker 2: I don't I really hadn't thought about that.
14:42
Speaker 3: And I also thought, like in his honesty of the
14:45
Speaker 3: way he communicated with me, I was sort of like,
14:48
Speaker 3: why wouldn't you just tell me, Like I don't want
14:50
Speaker 3: to do it, but just tell.
14:53
Speaker 5: Me if you're going to go out or whatever. That
14:54
Speaker 5: doesn't bother me.
14:55
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh my gosh, that is heartbreaking to work all
14:59
Speaker 4: of that out and have to go through that. I
15:02
Speaker 4: want to know now, I guess you've come through all
15:04
Speaker 4: of that you mentioned before. You know, you're currently in
15:08
Speaker 4: the midst of a relationship breakdown. But you also started
15:11
Speaker 4: a business in December twenty twenty one. Talk to me
15:14
Speaker 4: about what you do now for work and how much
15:17
Speaker 4: money you bring in.
15:18
Speaker 3: So I am an Infant and Todd Last Sleek consultant,
15:21
Speaker 3: so I worked with children up to five years old.
15:24
Speaker 3: Previous to that, I was working in a school full time,
15:28
Speaker 3: and then with my first pregnancy that was a COVID baby,
15:32
Speaker 3: and we were in and out of lockdowns and sport
15:35
Speaker 3: just shut down, and I just thought, oh my gosh,
15:39
Speaker 3: I need something that will always be able to be around.
15:43
Speaker 3: So I started that business. And then when I had
15:45
Speaker 3: my second baby, I didn't go back to my full
15:48
Speaker 3: time job, and that full time job was bringing in
15:51
Speaker 3: seventy six thousand dollars eight hundred and seventy five, so
15:56
Speaker 3: it was an amazing money and I'd been asking for
15:59
Speaker 3: a pay rock. And then I started my business, which
16:02
Speaker 3: was great because I didn't get maternity leave from my
16:05
Speaker 3: employer as well as Centerlink. I just got the cent
16:08
Speaker 3: to Link payments, so it really helped me through my
16:11
Speaker 3: second maternity leave.
16:13
Speaker 5: And then when I went to return.
16:14
Speaker 3: To full time work, the way that was handled was
16:17
Speaker 3: not ideal and they'd readvertised my job with a very
16:22
Speaker 3: substantial over ten thousand dollars pay drom and I just
16:27
Speaker 3: couldn't afford going back, and I just thought, well, let's
16:30
Speaker 3: just make my business vibe or By this stage it
16:33
Speaker 3: was about eight months up and running, and so it
16:36
Speaker 3: has its second birthday on the first of December this year.
16:39
Speaker 2: Oh exciting, Yeah, it's really exciting.
16:41
Speaker 5: And so last financial year, let's take.
16:45
Speaker 3: Into account that I had a four month old baby
16:48
Speaker 3: at the start of the financial year. Last year, it
16:51
Speaker 3: brought in thirty eight and a half thousand dollars.
16:54
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, how good.
16:56
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's only working part time as well, so
16:59
Speaker 3: I really it wasn't like full time.
17:01
Speaker 5: So I think that's pretty good.
17:03
Speaker 4: I think that's airpic, especially for the first couple of
17:06
Speaker 4: years of business. And then you drop in, oh, by
17:09
Speaker 4: the way, I also had one child and a four
17:11
Speaker 4: month old baby, like that's killing it.
17:14
Speaker 5: I was really proud of that.
17:16
Speaker 3: And now that the kids are older and they're in care,
17:18
Speaker 3: I'm able to dedicate more time and effort into the business.
17:21
Speaker 3: I'm just about to do a rebrand all of this stuff,
17:25
Speaker 3: which has really going to freshen it up and I'm
17:27
Speaker 3: so much clearer with it. Next financial year, I'm hoping
17:31
Speaker 3: to crack fifty.
17:33
Speaker 5: But we just have to see how that goes.
17:36
Speaker 3: And yeah, also like managing separation and working out, you know,
17:41
Speaker 3: being a single parent and what that sort of looks
17:44
Speaker 3: like in terms of income and expenses. You know, I'm
17:48
Speaker 3: still waiting on child support arrangements to come into place.
17:52
Speaker 3: That can take a few months, so I don't quite
17:54
Speaker 3: know what that looks like at this present time. I'm
17:56
Speaker 3: still yet to receive any money from my ex husband
18:00
Speaker 3: for the kids. So yeah, things are a little bit tight,
18:03
Speaker 3: but we are getting there, which is great.
18:05
Speaker 4: And to be a little bit pervy because obviously this
18:08
Speaker 4: is something that does happen in our community.
18:10
Speaker 2: Is relationship breakdown?
18:13
Speaker 4: Was this amicable or is this something where you're going
18:16
Speaker 4: to have to argue a fair bit for child support?
18:18
Speaker 2: Like what does that actually look like? Do you think?
18:21
Speaker 1: For you?
18:22
Speaker 3: So it wasn't amicable, but it was explicitly talked about
18:26
Speaker 3: before I left, so I'll just be honest. It was
18:29
Speaker 3: because of domestic abuse.
18:31
Speaker 2: So I'm sorry.
18:32
Speaker 1: Sorry.
18:32
Speaker 5: I'm in a much more.
18:33
Speaker 3: Supportive and safer environment now with regards to the kids.
18:37
Speaker 3: The requests from the other party is fifty to fifty.
18:40
Speaker 3: But when you look at family law and what's actually
18:43
Speaker 3: more beneficial for the kids, especially because they're so young,
18:46
Speaker 3: like my kids are three years.
18:48
Speaker 5: And almost one and a half.
18:50
Speaker 3: Yeah, they need to be spending more time with the
18:53
Speaker 3: primary care because of their age. And then as they
18:56
Speaker 3: get older and your child support gets reviewed every six months,
19:00
Speaker 3: you can start to request more overnight stays with the
19:03
Speaker 3: other parties. So at the moment, we're still waiting for mediation,
19:07
Speaker 3: but I'm requesting that I have them eleven out of
19:10
Speaker 3: fourteen nights and then it will just look to improve,
19:13
Speaker 3: which is kind of motivating for the other party as well.
19:16
Speaker 5: It's getting up.
19:16
Speaker 3: I do really well for six months and I prove that,
19:19
Speaker 3: you know, I can have the kids in that capacity,
19:22
Speaker 3: that's got the next step for him to ask for
19:24
Speaker 3: an extra night or two, which is great.
19:26
Speaker 4: Obviously I do not know nearly enough about your circumstance,
19:30
Speaker 4: but given you mentioned that the reason for the relationship
19:34
Speaker 4: breakdown was domestic abuse, I just feel like he is
19:37
Speaker 4: lucky that it's not you asking for one hundred percent
19:40
Speaker 4: of that, because that is a very real outcome that
19:43
Speaker 4: could happen and to be honest, I feel like if
19:46
Speaker 4: that's the circumstance, the courts would probably agree with you.
19:49
Speaker 3: Yes, exactly, because family law, they went through a phase
19:52
Speaker 3: of having fifty to fifty and then they realized that
19:54
Speaker 3: it wasn't in the best interest of the children, so
19:56
Speaker 3: they went back to the primary care having the majority.
20:00
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, and it makes absolute sense. I'm so sorry
20:02
Speaker 4: that you have to go through that. It would just
20:03
Speaker 4: be such a shitty period. But I'm glad that you're
20:07
Speaker 4: in a better position and you're, you know.
20:09
Speaker 2: Building it up.
20:10
Speaker 4: You've obviously got so much to look forward to, Like,
20:12
Speaker 4: You've got goals in your business, and I think you're
20:14
Speaker 4: killing it. Like, I'm so excited to see where you go.
20:17
Speaker 4: The next question I've got is what's your big money
20:21
Speaker 4: goal at the moment? What are you currently working towards.
20:23
Speaker 4: Is it that fifty thousand dollars goal in your business
20:25
Speaker 4: or are there other ones you want to talk to
20:27
Speaker 4: me about.
20:28
Speaker 5: Totally. So, one of my goals for this year was
20:30
Speaker 5: to buy a new car because I've simply outgrown my
20:33
Speaker 5: small little car, and I pick up my brand new wheels.
20:37
Speaker 5: I actually pick them up tomorrow mornings.
20:39
Speaker 3: So got the car is a bit more symbolic now,
20:41
Speaker 3: I feel, so with that car, I'll be trading in
20:45
Speaker 3: my old car. So the loan will be thirty four
20:48
Speaker 3: thousand dollars and I'm going to pay it off over
20:50
Speaker 3: four years with no balloon payment, and it's going to
20:53
Speaker 3: be about.
20:54
Speaker 5: Two hundred and three dollars a week.
20:57
Speaker 3: When that four years is up. I would like to
20:59
Speaker 3: also have a bit of a house deposit ready to.
21:03
Speaker 5: Go, so that I don't have any current debt.
21:05
Speaker 3: I can just go, here is my deposit, buy a house,
21:09
Speaker 3: hopefully see what the market is doing. I'm in a
21:12
Speaker 3: really fortunate situation at the moment where there's no rush
21:15
Speaker 3: for me to move out of where I'm living, but
21:17
Speaker 3: that would be my big kind of future goal.
21:19
Speaker 2: That's so exciting.
21:21
Speaker 4: I feel like that's a lot of clarity for someone
21:23
Speaker 4: going through arguably a pretty tumultuous time new car, saving
21:28
Speaker 4: for a house deposit. Is there anything else you're currently
21:31
Speaker 4: working towards.
21:32
Speaker 3: I would say after the Christmas busy season this year,
21:35
Speaker 3: I would like to have five thousand dollars sitting in
21:38
Speaker 3: my savings account to kick me off for next year.
21:41
Speaker 3: Because you know, as all small business owners know, January
21:45
Speaker 3: February is a bit of a quiet time, so that's
21:48
Speaker 3: sort of my short term.
21:49
Speaker 5: Goal coming into the next sort of six statementths.
21:52
Speaker 2: I'm loving this.
21:53
Speaker 4: I can already see Money Direst, that you and I
21:56
Speaker 4: are going to have a little disagreement at the end
21:58
Speaker 4: of this episode, given you think your received, but we
22:01
Speaker 4: can get to that a little bit later. Let's go
22:03
Speaker 4: to a really quick break and we will come right back.
22:10
Speaker 4: All right, Money Direst, we are back. I feel like
22:13
Speaker 4: you are killing it more than you're giving yourself credit for.
22:16
Speaker 4: I want to know do you have any investments. If so,
22:20
Speaker 4: what are they, If not, do you have plans for them?
22:22
Speaker 5: Yeah?
22:23
Speaker 3: So in my super I have sixty three and a
22:26
Speaker 3: half thousand dollars. When I was going through UNI back
22:30
Speaker 3: in the day for four years, I was a bit
22:33
Speaker 3: naughty and didn't pay into my own super as I
22:35
Speaker 3: was a sole trader. But as soon as you finished,
22:38
Speaker 3: I was back into that. So I pay about ten
22:41
Speaker 3: percent a month straight into my super.
22:44
Speaker 4: So even though you own your own business and it's
22:46
Speaker 4: only just started, you're already paying yourself super.
22:49
Speaker 3: Yes, I love this so much because I want to
22:51
Speaker 3: be able to retire and live a great life my
22:55
Speaker 3: other investments. So in my savings currently I have three
22:58
Speaker 3: and a half thousand dollars. I also have a micro
23:02
Speaker 3: investment account through Rays. I use that for my holidays,
23:07
Speaker 3: so at the moment there is seven hundred and twenty
23:10
Speaker 3: dollars in there. I also invest five dollars a week
23:13
Speaker 3: for each of my kids, so that when they're eighteen,
23:16
Speaker 3: they're going to have about thirteen thousand dollars each. And
23:19
Speaker 3: at the moment they've got three hundred and seventy five
23:22
Speaker 3: dollars sitting in their accounts. I have recently gotten into
23:26
Speaker 3: shop back and that's going to be my Christmas account
23:31
Speaker 3: with my Flybys dollars, So if that gives me a
23:33
Speaker 3: few hundred dollars, that's going to be great.
23:35
Speaker 5: At the moment, I've got twenty dollars.
23:37
Speaker 4: In there from little things, big things grow. I want
23:40
Speaker 4: to know a little bit more about investing for kids.
23:43
Speaker 4: You mentioned that you're investing five dollars each per week
23:46
Speaker 4: for them. Can you tell me what you're investing into
23:49
Speaker 4: and how you made that decision.
23:51
Speaker 3: So my sister used to work for a bank, and
23:55
Speaker 3: I asked her about setting up, you know, like a
23:57
Speaker 3: term deposit for the kids. She said, because of all
24:00
Speaker 3: the interest rate you know, variability, and you get taxed
24:05
Speaker 3: on the interests and stuff like that. She said, it's
24:07
Speaker 3: actually probably smarter doing the micro investing because yeah, there'll
24:12
Speaker 3: be a little bit of fluctuation, but she said, it's
24:15
Speaker 3: just a lot easier and you'll probably get better returns
24:17
Speaker 3: if you do that at that kind of small rate.
24:20
Speaker 3: It's not like I'm putting tens of thousands of dollars away.
24:22
Speaker 3: I'm literally talking about ten dollars a week. And yeah,
24:26
Speaker 3: it's been going quite well, like the market returns have
24:28
Speaker 3: been small, Like.
24:29
Speaker 5: It's a very conservative portfolio.
24:32
Speaker 3: But yes, you can visibly see it if you wanted
24:35
Speaker 3: to take money out of it. You can easily if
24:37
Speaker 3: there was an emergency. You don't get penalized. The maintenance
24:41
Speaker 3: fee every month is really small.
24:43
Speaker 5: So overall, yeah, I've found that to be really, really helpful.
24:47
Speaker 4: I love being pervy and being like, but how because
24:49
Speaker 4: I know that every other parent that's listening to this
24:51
Speaker 4: is like, oh my gosh, I've been meaning to invest
24:53
Speaker 4: for the kids. How other people doing it? Where do
24:55
Speaker 4: I start? I feel like it can be so overwhelming.
24:58
Speaker 4: The next question I've got for you, my friend, I, oh
25:00
Speaker 4: don't know, do you have any debts?
25:01
Speaker 2: If so, what are they.
25:02
Speaker 3: I have never had a credit card in my life,
25:05
Speaker 3: and I would love to be one of those people
25:08
Speaker 3: that gets a credit card, uses all the points, and
25:10
Speaker 3: then refreshes the credit card every two years, but at
25:13
Speaker 3: the moment, I did not have the mental capacity for that.
25:16
Speaker 3: So the only debt I'm about to go into is
25:18
Speaker 3: the card debt of thirty four thousand dollars, which is fine,
25:22
Speaker 3: and apart from that, I'm debt free.
25:24
Speaker 2: Oh how good?
25:25
Speaker 4: And I feel like the car debt that you're going
25:28
Speaker 4: into is a very calculated decision, Like the way you
25:31
Speaker 4: were explaining it to me, how clear you are that
25:33
Speaker 4: there's no balloon on this loan. Don't worry, it's two
25:36
Speaker 4: hundred and three dollars a week. Like this makes sense
25:38
Speaker 4: for me my financial situation. I feel like that's what
25:41
Speaker 4: I want to hear when people are talking about taking
25:43
Speaker 4: on personal debt to get themselves further, because obviously your
25:47
Speaker 4: current card is not serving you and you did need
25:50
Speaker 4: a bigger option. But not everyone has thirty four thousand
25:52
Speaker 4: dollars sitting around, so I think it's a bit naive
25:55
Speaker 4: if I was sitting here being like, don't get car loans,
25:57
Speaker 4: that's so silly, Like this obviously works really well for you,
26:00
Speaker 4: and it's well thought out and you're making the best
26:02
Speaker 4: decision for you right.
26:04
Speaker 3: Right, and you can have it as a total tax
26:06
Speaker 3: right off. So the petrol, you know, the repayments is
26:10
Speaker 3: completely run under my business, so it makes sense for me.
26:15
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, all right.
26:16
Speaker 4: I want to know next, because I feel like you've
26:18
Speaker 4: probably picked up a few good habits.
26:20
Speaker 2: In your years.
26:22
Speaker 4: Let me know what your best money habit is.
26:24
Speaker 3: So I've been using an expensive spreadsheet for probably twelve
26:31
Speaker 3: years and I track everything on it, so all my income,
26:35
Speaker 3: all my expenses. Then at the end of every financial year,
26:38
Speaker 3: I just shoot that off to my accountant and he
26:40
Speaker 3: does his magic. So I'm very aware of where all
26:43
Speaker 3: my money is going. I make sure that my tax
26:47
Speaker 3: is always up to date because it helps balance anything
26:50
Speaker 3: that you're doing, you know, with childcare subsidy and stuff
26:52
Speaker 3: like that, and as well if you're doing like a
26:55
Speaker 3: pay as you go system with your business, or if
26:58
Speaker 3: it's just a lump sum at the end, you want
26:59
Speaker 3: to be really clear and up to date with that
27:01
Speaker 3: so you don't get into any big tax stats. I
27:04
Speaker 3: always try to recycle clothes and goods, so I'm very
27:09
Speaker 3: thrifty on Facebook marketplace of donating and selling my stuff
27:14
Speaker 3: because you know what ten bucks is, ten bucks at
27:16
Speaker 3: all adds on. And when I do buy things, I'm
27:21
Speaker 3: doing it through either my micro investing at or my
27:24
Speaker 3: shop back apps, or at least I'm getting a kicker.
27:27
Speaker 3: And I rarely buy my meals and my coffee. I
27:31
Speaker 3: will probably buy a coffee once maybe twice a week,
27:36
Speaker 3: and I generally will go out for dinner maybe once
27:40
Speaker 3: a week, once a fortnight.
27:41
Speaker 5: So I'm very very savvy on that fun as well.
27:44
Speaker 2: Oh I love that.
27:45
Speaker 4: I feel like that is really thought out and planned.
27:48
Speaker 4: Let's bring it down though, surely you have a habit
27:51
Speaker 4: that you're maybe not so proud of. What do you
27:53
Speaker 4: think is your worst money habit?
27:56
Speaker 3: So I've actually never written a budget for myself, even
28:00
Speaker 3: though I have this beautiful spreadsheet that tells me all
28:03
Speaker 3: my ins and outs, I've never sat down and gone right,
28:06
Speaker 3: how much do I have to spend on all these areas?
28:08
Speaker 3: I think because my income's always been variable, so it's
28:12
Speaker 3: kind of hard to gauge that. But I think because
28:15
Speaker 3: I'm so conscious about money and know where it's going,
28:19
Speaker 3: I don't know. It just kind of levels that out.
28:21
Speaker 3: But yeah, never written a budget, woos.
28:23
Speaker 2: I can help you with that, that's okay.
28:25
Speaker 4: I will organize that for you after we finish recording.
28:30
Speaker 3: So if I know that I'm coming into a big payment,
28:33
Speaker 3: I'll like spend that money before it hits my account.
28:35
Speaker 3: So at the moment, like I'm waiting on a six
28:37
Speaker 3: thousand dollar contract payout which is coming on the thirty
28:40
Speaker 3: first of this month, and I've already spent like four
28:43
Speaker 3: thousand dollars of it, so when it actually comes in,
28:47
Speaker 3: it's not going to be as exciting.
28:48
Speaker 5: That's probably my other really bad habit too.
28:51
Speaker 4: What have you spent the four grand on already? Are
28:53
Speaker 4: these things that you actually needed or are you just
28:56
Speaker 4: going yollo, there's money coming in.
28:59
Speaker 3: So when I moved into this house, there was a
29:01
Speaker 3: double bed, and I physically don't fit in one, so
29:04
Speaker 3: I upgraded to a queen bed.
29:05
Speaker 5: So that was thirteen hundred dollars.
29:08
Speaker 3: I just spent almost one thousand dollars on new clothes
29:12
Speaker 3: because during this process, I've lost a lot of weight,
29:14
Speaker 3: so none of my clothes fit me, and I feel
29:17
Speaker 3: like I just needed a bit of a snazz up
29:19
Speaker 3: after everything that's happened. And I spent another fifteen hundred
29:25
Speaker 3: dollars on my graphic designer as well, so she got
29:30
Speaker 3: paid too, but that's also gone a betterfit my business,
29:33
Speaker 3: so that's.
29:34
Speaker 2: Kind of that's a business cost though.
29:36
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, those are definitely separate, but I feel like
29:39
Speaker 4: all of those things are very valid.
29:40
Speaker 2: Sometimes you've just got to do what you've got to do.
29:43
Speaker 4: My friend, I want to reflect on at the start
29:47
Speaker 4: of this episode. You've gone through so much and shared
29:51
Speaker 4: so much with us, which I'm so grateful for. But
29:53
Speaker 4: it sounds like you're really on top of it, like
29:55
Speaker 4: you're good at managing money. You are clear about your goals.
30:00
Speaker 4: Do you think a C still fits you after this conversation.
30:03
Speaker 4: If so, why and if not, what would you change
30:06
Speaker 4: it to.
30:07
Speaker 5: I would say maybe upgrade to a bee.
30:10
Speaker 3: I feel like there are still avenues that I could
30:13
Speaker 3: probably explore to make.
30:15
Speaker 5: My income more efficient and more supportive. But yes, after.
30:21
Speaker 3: Speaking everything through and looking at how hyper organized I am.
30:26
Speaker 2: I'm like, you're doing well, doing well.
30:29
Speaker 3: And you have to be when you've got two kids like,
30:32
Speaker 3: you have to just be so organized, otherwise the.
30:34
Speaker 2: Wheels will fall off real quick if you're not.
30:37
Speaker 3: Hey, oh yeah, so yes, all my online shopping would
30:42
Speaker 3: be out of control if I didn't have this sort
30:44
Speaker 3: of awareness of wherever the money was going.
30:46
Speaker 2: I love that.
30:47
Speaker 4: I'm glad that you upgraded yourself, because after hearing all
30:50
Speaker 4: of this.
30:50
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't know if that fits.
30:52
Speaker 4: And as I said before we went to a break,
30:54
Speaker 4: I was like, I think we're going to have a disagreement,
30:55
Speaker 4: but we don't disagree. I agree with a Bee. I
30:57
Speaker 4: think that a beat is very reflective where you're at.
31:00
Speaker 4: I think that you've still got a few things to
31:02
Speaker 4: go in terms of just even mentally sorting through it
31:05
Speaker 4: and feeling really empowered. But I really like how clear
31:08
Speaker 4: your goals are and what you're working towards. Please stay
31:11
Speaker 4: in contact, though, I really want to know how your
31:13
Speaker 4: business goes and what that comes up to. I need
31:15
Speaker 4: to know about that financial year goal of fifty grand.
31:17
Speaker 2: Like I'm just so invested in this.
31:18
Speaker 4: I love it, but unfortunately that is all we have
31:21
Speaker 4: time for Today's money dost. Thank you so much for
31:25
Speaker 4: sharing so much time with us and so much of
31:27
Speaker 4: yourself with us.
31:28
Speaker 2: It has been an absolute privilege anytime.
31:30
Speaker 5: Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it.
31:39
Speaker 6: The advice shared on She's on the Money is general
31:42
Speaker 6: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
31:45
Speaker 6: on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should
31:49
Speaker 6: not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
31:52
Speaker 2: If you do choose to buy a financial.
31:54
Speaker 6: Product, read the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial.
31:58
Speaker 2: Advice tailored towards your need.
32:00
Speaker 6: Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives
32:04
Speaker 6: of Money sherper P T Y L t D A
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Speaker 6: b N three two one six four nine two seven
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Speaker 6: seven zero eight a F s L four five one
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Speaker 6: two eight nine