Latest / The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook / The Mind-Body Connection: How Emotional, Mental & Physical Health Shape Your Healing Journey with Melissa Crook

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The Mind-Body Connection: How Emotional, Mental & Physical Health Shape Your Healing Journey with Melissa Crook · The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook

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  Hello Melissa Crook here. Welcome back to the field
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  podcast. Today it's time for another
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  one-on-one empowerment episode with me.
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  Today we are talking about the connection between our mental
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  health, our emotional health, our physical health, our
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  spiritual health, our financial health, our sexual health.
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  All of these components of our health are connected.
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  They are not separate. They all impact each other.
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  They all play out over each other.
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  And it's important that we understand that because this
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  helps us to identify where it is we need to address some things
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  in our lives. These things are clues and I'm
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  very passionate about the fact that emotions and the impact of
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  them are not our body failing us.
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  They're our body sending us warning signals, clues, alarms
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  sometimes. Pay attention.
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  I need some help here. I need you to address this.
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  I want us to be healthy. And so we're going to have a
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  conversation today about this and how you can support yourself
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  well in this and maybe unlearn and relearn some things that
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  you've been told about these connections.
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  Because Western medicine tends to to treat these as separate
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  entities. We're starting to learn more and
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  overtime the connection that exists between them.
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  And then instead of just throwing these different band
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  aids at these separate things, we look at how they're all
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  fitting together and how they're impacting each other and get
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  curious about the why and solving it instead of just
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  putting a Band-Aid on symptoms. And so let's get into this
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  conversation, taking care of these all these spaces in your
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  life. Have you experienced this?
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  And if you think you haven't, I'm going to almost promise you
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  that you have. But we haven't been trained to
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  think about it this way. And so we're going to talk more
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  about that and what it can look like.
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  Does yourself care? Incorporate the physical, the
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  mental, the emotional, the spiritual, the sexual, the
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  financial, because all these different things impact our
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  stress levels, our ability to feel content, ability to feel
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  joy, levels of anxiety, levels of contentment and peace.
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  They're all impacted by this angst and relationships.
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  I mean, there's all of these things move and fit together.
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  There's a conversation that we have in the online course, and
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  if this is an area that you're really struggling in, this is a
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  great investment you can make in yourself.
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  But I'm going to touch on some highlights from that today that
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  are going to hopefully help you wrap your mind around this and
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  identify whether you're really addressing this in a way that's
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  healthy and necessary for you. But we talked about segmentation
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  and that means that separating out and compartmentalizing all
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  these different areas as separate entities rather than
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  the collective activities in our body that they actually are.
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  Segmentation may begin as self protection, but often eventually
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  becomes self suppression. That is a quote from Susan
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  David, who is someone that I follow that I highly recommend.
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  She has a monthly newsletter on emotional agility.
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  She's done a lot of work in this area and I think this quote is
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  powerful and it says it all. Segmentation may begin as self
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  protection, but it often eventually becomes self
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  suppression. And we know if you've been
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  following me at all, that suppressing emotions,
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  suppressing these things that we say we don't have time for or
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  we've been told are inconvenient or we don't want to bother
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  someone else with, they're not going away.
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  They're going to bubble up later in some other most likely
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  unhealthy way. So it's really important that we
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  can get connected with these things and have resources to
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  help us process and move through them so they don't become an
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  ongoing more serious problem. So some more from my friend
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  Susan David. She's not really my friend.
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  Well, she's my, she doesn't know she's my friend.
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  I wish she was my friend, but she's my friend that I utilize.
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  So we use that word friend in that context.
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  Emotional agility from Susan David.
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  When we create environments in which people feel welcome to
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  share more of who they truly are, we don't just support
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  well-being. We spark creativity,
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  collaboration, problem solving, innovation, belonging.
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  We establish the trust that is necessary for these things to
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  thrive. And this is true in our homes,
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  it's true in our workspaces, it's true in our social
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  gatherings and faith spaces. This is really language and
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  application that applies across the board in multiple areas of
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  our life. More from Susan David
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  Integration doesn't require a grand gesture.
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  It starts with small, honest moments.
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  And you've heard me talk about these small moments that add up
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  before. When I'm talking about
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  self-care, especially, sometimes we think we have to, you know,
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  assign mass amounts of time. And in this case, we think we
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  have to have these big ground gestures.
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  But it's really the small, intentional, honest moments that
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  add up. And for emotions, that means
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  naming what you feel, showing up with curiosity, not judgement,
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  making room for someone else's discomfort without rushing to
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  fix it. We tend to when we want to fix
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  things because we many times we have these codependent ideas
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  that that it's our problem and it's our responsibility to solve
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  and fix everything else in everybody else's life.
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  And it also gives us a sense of value.
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  And that's not healthy because our value needs to be based on
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  who we are, not what we do or how we show up for other people.
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  It also can come up when it's just something we're
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  uncomfortable with and we just want it to go away.
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  So we want to hurry up and try to fix it so we don't have to
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  deal with the angst of it anymore.
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  But this is not where you solve these things.
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  That's some of those Band-Aid things I was talking about.
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  It's that ability to make room for and sit with our own
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  discomfort, others discomfort, and be reflective and allow us
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  to feel it and name it and identify where do we think this
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  is coming from? What do I need to help me
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  resolve this, move through this? What kind of support do I need
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  to help me do this? In terms of other people,
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  sometimes, you know, instead of solving it, people just need us
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  to sit with them. We just need to sit with
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  ourselves and instead of filling our lives with a bunch of noise,
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  make room to feel it. But we've grown up in a society,
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  in a culture that's told us those things are uncomfortable.
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  Those things are inconvenient, though.
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  People don't want to hear about those things and it just ends up
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  getting shoved under the rug. And that is not good for anyone.
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  These things don't go away. They store in our body.
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  And like I've said, they can come out and show up in some
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  really unhealthy ways later on. So making that room, showing up
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  with curiosity and actually naming and acknowledging what
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  you're feeling without judgment, allowing it.
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  Again, I don't believe in good or bad emotions.
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  I some are more difficult and some are easier, but they are
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  clues to let us know what's happening, what needs to be
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  dealt with, what needs to be acknowledged, what needs to be
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  processed. How do you view emotions?
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  And I just touched on this and we're going to hit on it again
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  because I think this is such an important part of being able to
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  deal with this in a healthy way. Do you label and judge your
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  emotions as positive or negative?
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  Start by not labeling your emotions this way.
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  Like I said, I'm going to say it again.
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  I doubled down on this a lot because I think it's one of the
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  most important steps you can take in being able to process
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  your emotions in a healthy way and not allow them to stack up.
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  It was pivotal in my journey and turning this corner in this
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  area. Emotions are clues to what needs
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  to be expressed, acknowledged, processed, and moved through.
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  Instead of approaching emotions with judgement, get curious
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  about them. What are they rooted in?
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  Is what they are rooted in actually true?
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  Or is this a thought you've been carrying around or a narrative
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  that you were told when it comes down to it isn't actually true?
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  And we treat our thoughts in these areas so many times as
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  truth. And we have to unpack that and
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  determine, is that actually true or is that just a thought that
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  needs to be unlearned and and moved on from?
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  Allow yourself to experience the more comfortable emotions.
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  It's good for your health to feel joy.
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  It's good for your health to feel contentment.
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  It's good for your health to feel peace.
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  It's good for your health to laugh at that funny joke at that
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  comedy show. You know, I think it's really
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  important to remember sometimes when it feels like, Oh my gosh,
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  the world's on fire. It's not appropriate for me to
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  feel joy or laugh. Yes it is.
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  That is how we re feel. That is how we keep our hope
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  going. That is how we find our
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  resources and our energy to continue to show up every day
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  authentically in the ways that we were designed to, to keep
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  moving forward, to be difference makers in our world, in our
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  neighborhood, in our home, in our workplace.
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  So yes, these things are good for your health.
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  Also. I struggled for years with
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  foreboding joy, just afraid to feel a joy because I was out.
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  Something out. That means something bad is
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  going to happen now that life is life.
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  Listen, things, good and bad things are going to happen.
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  But that foreboding joy is not that there is.
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  That is not an actual scientific truth that something bad's going
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  to happen the next minute. Feel that joy, Allow it.
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  Give yourself space for it. It's so good for us to have
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  that, and we need it again. We need it for all of the
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  physical health reasons, mental health reasons, emotional health
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  reasons, that resource feeling, that joy feeling.
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  It can be an act of resistance when you're surrounded by forces
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  and powers that be that want to take you out of the fight, that
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  want you to feel discouraged, that want you to quit being
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  curious and asking questions. Don't let them have that.
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  Don't let them steal that from you.
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  So I feel really strongly about that.
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  All of this, and especially that piece there, the impact of
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  societal and cultural narratives.
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  This has a huge impact on how free and safe we feel in
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  allowing and processing and moving through and talking about
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  our emotions. Society, culture, family
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  systems, faith spaces all have a lot to say about what is and is
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  not acceptable to feel and process.
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  It is so important to realize when these narratives are
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  hurting us, despite the stigmas that exist about women and
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  anger. Just like all emotions, it
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  requires acknowledgement, feeling, processing and moving
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  through. And that's just one example of
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  an emotion we've heard incorrect information and narratives
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  around. If we don't allow ourselves to
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  feel and move through it, then it can come out in an unhealthy
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  way. Anger can be a great motivator
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  for change when it's channeled in a healthy way.
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  And like I said earlier, this is just one example of how societal
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  narratives impact how we do or don't process emotions.
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  This is a lot to cover here, and I know it's a lot in one time.
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  And like I said, if you need more help and support, reach out
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  to me at embracinglayers.com in that contact form.
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  And let's just, you know, get together and discuss some ways
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  to support you in this. But the big take away from today
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  is the connection between a mental, emotional, spiritual,
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  sexual, financial, physical health.
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  All these systems are connected and impact each other.
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  They all require our attention in order to be the healthiest
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  versions of ourselves. So some ways to to put this into
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  practice and start thinking about this are when you are
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  feeling sensations in your body or feelings that seem to come
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  out of nowhere. Acknowledge that, allow yourself
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  to feel it, and try to identify what it might be rooted in.
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  This can go back to exercises of writing down all that you're
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  feeling, recording it on your phone and writing it in your
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  notes on on a tablet, for example.
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  If you have a raging headache, think about what you've been
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  engaged with could be inducing that utilize the feelings wheel.
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  This can be really helpful. Just just Google feelings wheel
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  and I'll try to put this in the show notes as well.
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  Those can that can be really helpful in naming your emotions
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  because there were a lot more emotions out there than we
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  realized. And it's important to name them
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  accurately so we can really get to the root of them and know how
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  to process them. So I, I, I will, I will find
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  that and link that in the show notes.
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  That feelings wheel. Is there something within that
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  you can take action on to help yourself?
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  Is there something that you need to talk to someone about?
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  Do you need to release some anger or sadness or grief via a
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  good cry or punching a pillow a few times?
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  Take time to really connect the dots.
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  This is such, these are such important practices.
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  They have such huge impacts on our health, for ourselves and
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  our relationships, our ability to show up well in all of our
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  spaces, in our workspaces, in our neighborhoods and
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  communities. So really be intentional about
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  this. A practice that I utilized when
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  I was first really struggling to get connected with this is I
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  would write down my emotions every day to help me know where
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  I was at. So that could be be a simple act
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  that you start this week to help you start getting in touch with
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  and addressing these things and unpacking some of these
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  narratives that need to be unlearned and relearned.
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  So I know this is a lot today. I also help it gets you thinking
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  about this because this has such a huge impact on our ability to
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  live well, our ability to live healthy, our ability to live
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  empowered. And remember always, you are
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  worthy, you are valuable, and you get to choose.
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  I hope you found this supportive and helpful.
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  Take good care and I'll see you next time here on the Field
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  podcast.