Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 591: If You Think Your Ex Will NEVER Come Back, LISTEN To This! (Part 2)

Transcript

Episode 591: If You Think Your Ex Will NEVER Come Back, LISTEN To This! (Part 2) · The Art of Love With Lucia

• 0:00
  Hi. This is the Chia with yard of
• 0:02
  love. I'm a dating and relationship
• 0:04
  experts specializing in helping you get your ex back or to get
• 0:07
  over your ex. So last week, I put out a video
• 0:10
  called, if you think your ex is never coming back, watch this.
• 0:14
  And I didn't think I would be talking about the same subject
• 0:17
  so soon. However, I realized there are a
• 0:21
  couple of very important points that I left out of that video.
• 0:25
  And so I said, I have to do another video.
• 0:28
  So here we are again, but before I start I want to welcome back
• 0:31
  my beautiful, no contact Army. If you're having trouble staying
• 0:34
  in no contact, download the silencio app.
• 0:37
  The link is underneath every video and podcast and it will
• 0:40
  help you to stay in no contact. And if you too want to join our
• 0:43
  army, all you have to do is hit the Subscribe button and the
• 0:48
  bell notification and you're in and to read our manual, go to no
• 0:52
  contact, secrets.com, where you can read to free chapters before
• 0:56
  purchasing the book and the link to that is under every video and
• 0:59
  podcast. Okay, so let's talk about this
• 1:01
  subject again, it's so important.
• 1:03
  It needs to videos not one. So when you've been broken up
• 1:07
  with and you want your ex back, but you think they'll never come
• 1:10
  back. You are in what's called a
• 1:12
  heightened emotional state, which means that you are more
• 1:15
  prone to something called catastrophic, sizing can't even
• 1:20
  say it's a long word catastrophic icing.
• 1:24
  Which means that you're experiencing intrusive thoughts
• 1:27
  where you're Imagining the worst case scenario.
• 1:30
  And according to an article in the guardian, these thoughts are
• 1:34
  quote, rooted deep in our bodies and adaptive trait and
• 1:38
  evolutionary defense mechanism that helps us prepare for the
• 1:42
  worst and boat. So this is why you have that
• 1:45
  negative voice in your head. That's our primitive brain,
• 1:49
  trying to protect us, by bringing up the worst case
• 1:52
  scenario. Thanks a lot.
• 1:55
  So when we feel out of control or stressed, our primitive
• 1:58
  coping mechanisms kick in and this ramps up, our fear
• 2:02
  responses and it shuts off the logical part of the brain, the
• 2:06
  prefrontal cortex. So, the more stressed, you feel,
• 2:10
  the more, the stronger, the Primitive circuit gets and the
• 2:13
  more things feel threatening or sad.
• 2:16
  So, literally, you are not in your right mind because you're
• 2:19
  in the Primitive brain as opposed to The Logical brain.
• 2:22
  And this may have been helpful back in the day when we were
• 2:25
  cavemen. And there was danger everywhere,
• 2:27
  but that is no longer the case, there isn't danger everywhere
• 2:32
  and yet our brains have not yet adapted.
• 2:34
  So how do you get back into your right mind?
• 2:39
  Well, the more time you spend in common environments, the more in
• 2:43
  control, you'll feel, and you can do this with taking long
• 2:48
  walks or even short walks being out in nature.
• 2:52
  Deep breathing, calms your nervous system.
• 2:55
  Rubbing your hands together. Also, calms your nervous system
• 2:59
  watching funny TV shows or movies and exercise which also
• 3:05
  strengthens the prefrontal cortex.
• 3:09
  So those are all good things to get to being in a calm State.
• 3:15
  As I've mentioned many times before, if you're having a
• 3:17
  difficult time after a breakup, whether you're trying to get an
• 3:19
  ex back or not, you have to take care of you focus on the things
• 3:24
  that I just mentioned and remember that, when you have
• 3:27
  those intrusive thoughts and that's not you, that's your
• 3:30
  primitive brain. So you can say to it.
• 3:32
  Thank you. I know you're trying to protect
• 3:34
  me, but I don't need your help right now or you can do what I
• 3:37
  say. Or you can say what I say.
• 3:39
  Is, I don't know who you're talking to but I am not
• 3:41
  listening to what you have to say.
• 3:44
  Okay. So that was the first thing.
• 3:45
  Now, the second thing that I forgot to mention was faith and
• 3:50
  I'm going to get a bit religious here often going through.
• 3:53
  No contact, is similar to walking through the valley of
• 3:57
  the shadow of death and everyone who wants their ex back has to
• 4:02
  walk through that Valley. There's no escaping it.
• 4:05
  You're afraid that you'll never hear from your ex, despite how
• 4:07
  many times. I've said that 90% of people
• 4:10
  will hear from the Rex. It's called having faith and you
• 4:13
  need to have it. It.
• 4:15
  And you need to believe that you will hear from your ex and that
• 4:19
  you will have a chance to get back together.
• 4:21
  And if you think about it, everything in life, actually
• 4:24
  requires faith. When we go to sleep at night, we
• 4:27
  have faith that will actually wake up in the morning.
• 4:30
  Or when you go to a restaurant to eat, you have faith that the
• 4:33
  food is not going to poison you. When you turn the light switch
• 4:36
  on, you have faith that the legs after going to come on.
• 4:39
  If you start an exercise and diet regimen, you have faith
• 4:43
  that by sticking to it eventually, you'll get to where
• 4:46
  you want to go. So, pretty much everything in
• 4:48
  life requires some level of faith, and it's no different
• 4:52
  with no contact. You have to be able to live with
• 4:56
  some level of uncertainty. There is no way around it.
• 4:59
  And once you've seen the power of no contact, you will not have
• 5:02
  any doubt about it, but some people need to see before.
• 5:05
  They believe I understand. But why do you think that?
• 5:08
  I'm so So adamant about how well no contact works is because I've
• 5:11
  seen it work over and over and over with my clients with the
• 5:15
  comments that people leave under my videos and in my own life,
• 5:20
  most people are not dismissive avoidance, meaning that if they
• 5:23
  leave you will probably hear from them at some point.
• 5:26
  And even if they are dismissive, if their interest level goes up,
• 5:29
  you will hear from them. Okay.
• 5:31
  So keep those two things in mind, the fact that your
• 5:33
  primitive brain is messing with you and the fact that no
• 5:36
  contract requires Faith. Now, one last Thing in the video
• 5:40
  last week, I mentioned that after a year and a half, I heard
• 5:43
  from a guy that I had seen twice, and he wrote me a very
• 5:47
  nice email if it was a perfect email.
• 5:48
  And some people are wondering, well, what is this?
• 5:50
  Perfect email. So, okay, I will read it to you
• 5:54
  so that if you need to write a perfect email to someone, you
• 5:57
  will have a template. Okay, so he goes, hey lychee.
• 6:00
  I hope you've been well, this is so and so I'm not sure how well
• 6:03
  you remember me, but we met up a couple of times back in the fall
• 6:07
  of 2021. Then he gave me a personal
• 6:10
  compliment. I don't need to repeat that.
• 6:12
  Then goes first, I want to apologize for not keeping in
• 6:15
  touch with you. I think I felt a bit nervous
• 6:17
  intimidated at the time. I've never connected with women
• 6:21
  like you before and wasn't sure whether connection would take
• 6:25
  us. I spent a good chunk of the past
• 6:28
  year traveling but now I'm back in LA full time.
• 6:31
  I'm running to you in hopes that we may reconnect and spend some
• 6:34
  time together. I can't put my finger on it but
• 6:37
  you've been on my mind a lot lately.
• 6:39
  I don't know, but if I believe that but that's a good thing to
• 6:42
  put in, then another personal compliment and then shoot me, a
• 6:46
  text. If you think, love you want to
• 6:48
  get together Bubba. So that's it.
• 6:50
  That's the perfect letter if you want to reconnect with someone,
• 6:53
  and he found my email because he didn't have my email, so he had
• 6:58
  to find me. So he put in the effort but I'm
• 7:00
  still not interested. Okay.
• 7:01
  So now I want to hear from you and I want to see See if you
• 7:10
  have had the thought that you will never get your ex back and
• 7:13
  did this video help you in relieving the anxiety around
• 7:16
  that comment below. And in the meantime if you would
• 7:19
  like my help personally to get your ex back, contact me at the
• 7:22
  art of love dotnet and we will send you the rates.
• 7:25
  The direct link is below every single video.
• 7:27
  If you found this video helpful, please like, subscribe, and
• 7:30
  share if you're listening to this as a podcast, remember to
• 7:33
  rate and review. And finally remember that love
• 7:36
  inspires and powers of lives and and lightens