Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 637: 7 Signs An Avoidant Loves You

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Episode 637: 7 Signs An Avoidant Loves You · The Art of Love With Lucia

• 0:01
  Hi, this is Lucia with The Art of Love.
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  I'm a dating and relationship expert specializing in helping
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  you get your ex back or to get over your ex.
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  This week I want to talk about 7 signs and avoidant loves You.
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  I've avoided talking about avoidance because I'm an
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  avoidant, and that's what we do. We avoid, ha ha.
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  But I know that a lot of people who listen to me have an anxious
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  attachment style and often their partners were avoidance, so I
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  figured it was time to talk about avoidance.
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  So whether you're in a relationship with one and you're
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  trying to figure out if they love you or you're trying to get
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  your ex back, who's an avoidant? This video is for you.
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  Because if they love you, you have a higher chance of getting
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  them back as opposed to if their feelings for you, their interest
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  level for you is not that high. But first I want to of course,
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  welcome back my beautiful no contact army.
• 0:52
  By now I'm sure you've all downloaded our app Silencio,
• 0:57
  available in both iPhone and Android.
• 0:59
  And if you haven't, the link is underneath every video and
• 1:01
  podcast. It will help you in your journey
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  of getting your ex back. And if you too want to join our
• 1:07
  no contact army, all you have to do is hit the subscribe button
• 1:11
  and the Bell notification and you're in.
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  And to read our manual, go to nocontactsecrets.com where you
• 1:19
  can read 2 free chapters before purchasing the book.
• 1:22
  So let me start with just a brief definition of what an
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  avoidant attachment style means, and that is someone who prefers
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  to be independent rather than in a relationship and usually has
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  one foot out the door and if they feel unsafe, they'll pull
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  away. And if they are a dismissive
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  avoidant rather than a fearful avoidance, then it's very
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  possible that they will not come back.
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  OK, so #1 avoidance have a lot of rules regarding time and
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  space and how much they'll give you.
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  So if they start breaking those rules and give you more time and
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  space, then you know that they're interested, their
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  interest level is going up, and maybe they even love you #2.
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  If they pull back and you pull back, they come back.
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  Most people with an anxious attachment style will freak out
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  if the person they're dating pulls back and they will start
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  chasing to try to figure out why.
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  And that's pretty much the worst thing you can do when you're
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  dealing with an avoidant. We hate it, and all you're going
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  to do is just push them further away.
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  And This is why I know that no contact is such a great tactic
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  after a breakup. Because whatever attachment
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  style you have, especially if you have an anxious attachment
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  style, it forces you to not chase your ex if you do it
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  correctly. So if an avoidant pulls away and
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  you give them space and they come back, it means that they're
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  interested in you and maybe yes, they even love you #3 They're
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  comfortable with you posting them on social media and or
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  changing your status to in a relationship with them because
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  in general avoidance would prefer to not have the world
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  know what is going on with them romantically.
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  And there's this meme I saw that it says when I have a boyfriend,
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  do you want me to post his arm or his leg?
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  Personally, I rarely post anyone and actually one of the few
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  times that I did post me and a guy, I put a :) on top of his
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  face to keep him anonymous. So if you're if they're
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  comfortable with you posting them or if they're posting you,
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  especially if they're posting you, that's huge.
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  Number 4, they're able to share if they had a bad day, and
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  that's because it means that they feel safe with you.
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  Otherwise, they would just retreat and keep themselves, you
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  know, kind of almost like a wounded animal until they do
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  feel better about whatever happened in their life.
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  So if they're able to open up with you, then you can bet that
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  they have feelings for you. And by the way, if you're
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  finding this helpful then please just give this video a like so
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  that we can help other people to discover it because YouTube will
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  recommend it to more people the more likes it gets.
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  OK #5 they leave you alone in their home and or they give you
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  a key to their place. Personally I have no problem
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  leaving people at my home because I have a cat so I have
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  cat sitters there all the time but I'm not thrilled about
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  leaving a romantic partner there or even giving them a key.
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  And in fact, one of my boyfriends who I dated for five
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  years, he never had a key to my place.
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  So if they let you stay at their place while they're gone, their
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  interest is going up. But also realize that they most
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  likely will be testing you to see if you're up to any
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  shenanigans while you're staying there, like snooping around.
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  And they may have traps set up to determine whether you did
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  Snoop around or not. And that could include a camera,
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  A hidden camera. Look in the teddy bear.
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  Look behind the picture frame. OK, number six, traveling with
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  you. And this is a big one, because
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  when you travel with someone, you're away from home and you're
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  quote UN quote, trapped somewhere with no place to run
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  or hide. Unless of course you know you
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  leave the room. So if they agree to go on a trip
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  with you, that's a great sign that they have feelings for you.
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  And then finally, #7, introducing you to the family.
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  They're going to keep you away from the family for two reasons.
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  Either one, they don't see this as a long term relationship, so
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  what's the point? Or two, they're afraid that
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  their family's going to scare you off.
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  You know, their family's the Munsters.
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  So if it's the second one and they have a high interest level
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  in you, then they will eventually get over that fear
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  and introduce you, which I know is important to you when you're
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  in love. All right, so just to recap #1,
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  they give you more time and space as time goes by.
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  If they pull back and you pull back, they come back. #3 they
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  are comfortable with either you posting them on social media or
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  they post you on social media. #4 They're able to share if they
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  had a bad day, share their feelings #5 They leave you alone
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  at their place and give you a key number six, they travel with
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  you. And finally #7 introducing you
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  to family. So now I want to hear from you,
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  Which of these signs have you seen from your avoidant?
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  Hopefully a lot of them. Obviously, the more you see, the
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  better it is for you then the higher their interest is in you
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  and the more likely it is that they love you.
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  All right? And in the meantime, if you
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  would like my help to get your ex back, especially if they're
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  an avoidance, you know it takes an avoidance to know an avoidant
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  and to catch an avoidant, then contact me at theartoflove.net
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  and we will send you the rates. The direct link is below every
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  single video and podcast. If you found this video helpful,
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  please like, subscribe and share.
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  If you're listening to this as a podcast, please rate and review.
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  And finally, remember that love inspires, powers, uplifts and
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  and lightens.