Latest / Enough & Evolving / Why Want You Want Won't Fulfill You - (And What Actually Will)
Transcript
- Tyona Vallejo: If you're listening to this and you're recognizing yourself in these patterns, this is exactly the work I do inside my coaching. This isn't something you have to figure out alone. If you're ready to feel more confident, grounded, and self-trusting, I'd love to support you. Check out the show notes to book a consultation coaching call today. Hello, hello, podcasters. If this is your first time listening to the podcast, welcome. If you're coming back, then thanks for coming back. This is episode number nine, So today on the podcast, we're talking about why what you want won't fulfill you and what actually will. So lately I've been getting a loud message that is saying ⁓ the I seek are already within. You might have heard that before ⁓ that things ⁓ you seek are already within you and what ⁓ saying to is that this the things that I seek And today I have a question for you. if the reason you still don't feel how you wanna feel is because you've been looking for it in the wrong place? Or what if the thing that you've been chasing isn't ⁓ what you want? that next level of success ⁓ or the whatever is you're in your life that you're chasing, That we're after our next goals. What really after is a deeper emotional ⁓ that is ⁓ that physical manifestation per se, it's feeling. ⁓ Maybe you're experiencing some feelings ⁓ unfulfillment or maybe you've been fighting just the cycle feeling bad about yourself every you see someone else with the life you desire. Today, I'm gonna share with you exactly what might be happening that we'll get in having that thing. And while this is an idea that I have heard over and over again, I'm really recognizing it on a new level. wisdom that it's ⁓ here, this feeling that I want is ⁓ here, ⁓ we have ⁓ to it, that feeling now, and it's found only by turning inward and not ⁓ outward. that is trapping you in this experience and how to really shift into a more experience that allows you to manifest more of what you want. So if you're ready, grab your notes, turn on your ears, and let's jump in. That is the message that I want to share with you all here today. So something that brought this to the surface was a journal entry that I did. A lot of times I'll ⁓ just these downloads ⁓ I'll throw them either in my phone or my journal and just come back to them, read through them, work through them. ⁓ And this I thought was really something that a lot to the women that come to me. ⁓ In other words, we may be after, you know, the next house, the bigger home or the next car or the next manifestation relationship, whatever that is. But what we're truly, truly after the feeling that we believe that we'll have when we manifest that thing. It's either the peace, ⁓ in my coaching business that we believe we'll have in having the thing. It's the connection, the safety, the joy, the ultimate fulfillment that we think that this thing is going to give to us. And here's where it really kind of gets sticky that this may be happening to you that maybe you see someone on social or hear about someone ⁓ doing ⁓ that want to be doing. And instead feeling great about that thing or great about that person, maybe you start to feel a bit of heaviness or you feel a ⁓ sense of lack that you're not experiencing that yet. And it brings up this kind of flavor of FOMO, fear of missing out, but also even maybe deeper, this fear of never having it, right? And so when we have this external trigger that is bringing up this that we have, it can often lead to us going down a kind of a pity party or a spiral into not feeling really great, maybe sending us into a place of insecurity or lack. And this is happening because our nervous system is receiving a signal behind the scenes before we even really cognitively understand what's happening. We see this image, we see this experience that we're desiring that triggers something is ⁓ and ⁓ our system sends these messages to our brain. that we are in danger, that something is off. And that's when our brain gets to work, scanning the environment and looking for this evidence that something may be off kilter, not working for you. But this is where it's fascinating. This evidence ⁓ it looks for ⁓ things like why you're missing this experience. So maybe it starts to blame your past, right? Because our past is just living in our mind. It's nowhere to be found. It's just these stories in unconscious mind. ⁓ And it goes to these stories about why you might not have this experience because of something that happened in your past that caused this issue that you have this lack of now, there's a current obstacle in front of you that you're experiencing ⁓ in your relationship or at work and ⁓ brain is going to that particular situation to show you that, this is why you're not ⁓ this particular manifestation in your life right now. Or it even points the finger at you, your identity, who you are, saying that there must be something wrong intrinsically with you, that you're missing out in some way, and that's why you're not manifesting this particular thing that you're desiring. And of course, this can send us into that deep dark spiral, right? But the reality is there's no truth to all of that, there's no true danger. Yeah, sure, you can find truth, you can prove certain things to say that, yes, this happened at one time, yada yada. But in this moment, in this present moment, there is an image that is bringing up an idea, a thought. that I don't this thing, I can't have this thing, that's all that's happening. And ⁓ is not necessarily factual that you can't have it. So dissect a couple of things here. First, ⁓ just because we don't have the desired manifestation yet doesn't that it's coming. And in ⁓ order for to this truth, it's essential that you regulate your nervous system. Because again, what ⁓ happening here when you're triggered is the nervous system is going into dysregulation. So in order for you to realize the stories your brain is now coming up with aren't necessarily ⁓ factual, then you to first start with creating a sense of safety within you so that your brain knows, ⁓ She really isn't in ⁓ a specific danger in moment. Secondly, ⁓ once you've regulated, it's so important understand why you want you want. So remember when I was talking about the thing that you're after, the goal that you're wanting to call in that to manifest in your life. The reason that we want that is always because of the feeling that we believe that we'll have that manifestation and receiving that. So it's so important get clear as to Why you want what you want? What is the feeling that you believe that you'll have when you have that thing? And here is the really great thing to know. That feeling is available to you now the present moment. However, ⁓ you're not going to be able to access that feeling unless you've regulated your nervous system. Then from there, you can start to connect with the feeling that you're desiring. You may have heard the idea that in order to manifest what you want, you need to act as if it's already here. This is the law of assumption, and it was popularized by Neville Goddard. It highlights the importance of emotional alignment, meaning whatever feeling you believe you will have when you receive your manifestation, peace, joy, freedom, whatever that is, love. It's having that emotional state now that calls in the manifestation because like attracts like. So again, I believe the lesson here is to understand the deeper essence of what we're longing to feel in the desire that we're having. so that we aren't simply chasing after these external things to fulfill ourselves or chasing after this thing that really isn't capable of holding or truly achieving what we are desiring. That lasting connection to joy, satisfaction and connectedness. Now you might be saying, again, this sounds great, but I'm just not able to get into that feeling because I am feeling so triggered by whatever it is that you're not experiencing and you're seeing maybe other people experiencing. I want to say to you, this is so normal. This is completely human. ⁓ however when you learn that this doesn't have to take you out and you don't need to get stuck there in a shame spiral This is where your true power comes in ⁓ and of course, you're probably asking, can I create feelings now when I'm struggling with these particular challenges in my life? And my answer to you is, ⁓ I believe it's through presence, acceptance and compassion. For many of us, inside ⁓ what we're currently feeling, ⁓ actually brings up a lot of discomfort. The inner world doesn't feel necessarily safe. Instead, it feels ⁓ chaotic. And wanting to often avoid looking inside or those feelings. So, if that sounds like you. know that you're alone here. This doesn't mean that your inner world is bad. It simply means that your body isn't currently feeling safe. So of course, you reach outward trying to do more, which just the cycle of lack, not feeling in control ⁓ uncertain how to change it. So here is how you access the feeling now, even in the middle of the challenges. practicing presence, bringing yourself back to the now ⁓ of chasing the win. Instead of thinking about that thing that you're wanting and ⁓ stuck in that spiral, pause, reconnect with your breath, yourself, your body in this moment, remind yourself that you are safe, work on the nervous system regulation. Again, if you missed episode, I think it was one or two, I talk about exactly how to do that, you can go back to that episode. And then ⁓ you're going to release any resistance. You're going to find a level of acceptance for where you are now. about your current situation can start to soften into? Where you to release some of the resistance that you have to the ⁓ experience Experience that is happening in your life now to the challenge that you're dealing with now that might be as simple as won't last forever Maybe this too shall pass or always And then three, Softening how you relate to yourself. What would look like for you to be more compassionate with yourself in this situation today? Maybe that's placing a hand on your heart and asking yourself, what do you need, my love? What do you need today in this moment? Now, my hope is that this will give you both a better understanding of what you're truly after when you're feeling like you want to manifest something in particular. There's a feeling that is there that you're wanting to have and that feeling is available to you now. But you're not going to be able to access the feeling and you're gonna get stuck in maybe that shame spiral you aren't first starting with regulating your nervous system. Now remember, you don't have to wait for a manifestation to make you feel better now. have to learn how to come back to yourself first. And then ⁓ you do this over and over again, you will be delighted how quickly things can begin to shift. If you wanna go deeper into this work, ⁓ is exactly what we do in my one-on-one coaching program. You can connect with me more over on IG or Facebook, DM me if you have any questions or if you're ready to make that shift and you want to determine your next steps. would love to hear from you. Again, thank you so much for listening to this episode today. And remember, you are always enough and you are always evolving. Have a great week.