Latest / The Daily Sarcast / June 5th, 2026: Fiber Gummy Worms, George Santos And My Boss' Text

Transcript

June 5th, 2026: Fiber Gummy Worms, George Santos And My Boss' Text · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
  Today's episode is sponsored by your boss taking your cell phone and texting
• 0:05
  a guy that you've been too scared to text.
• 0:08
  And then he doesn't answer.
• 0:11
  It was most definitely not. I would have never forgotten my drugs.
• 0:16
  Hunter Biden on Twitter when someone said he left his coke in the White House.
• 0:21
  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Sarcast.
• 0:24
  I give you the news and maybe a laugh. i'm lindsey
• 0:27
  vernic and it's june 5th 2026 in real
• 0:31
  news so mcdonald's is launching a new
• 0:34
  limited time meal to celebrate the 2026 fifa world cup which will be hosted
• 0:39
  across the u.s canada and mexico over like the next month or so i think they
• 0:45
  are joining a growing list of brands rolling out special promotions tied to
• 0:49
  both the world cup and america's 250th birthday celebrations,
• 0:54
  which I think have been going on for the past like five years now.
• 0:58
  This meal will only be available for a limited time, and McDonald's is also
• 1:02
  bringing back a fan favorite menu item as part of the promotion.
• 1:06
  So you pick your main course, which is usually a Big Mac or Chicken McNuggets,
• 1:11
  and you get fries, and you get a drink.
• 1:14
  And depending on where you are in the world, you might get a limited edition
• 1:18
  sauce so america turns 250 and of course the celebration still is a combo meal.
• 1:26
  Speaking of food, there's this new candy at Trader Joe's that is getting so
• 1:31
  much attention for an unexpected reason.
• 1:33
  It has so much fiber that employees and customers are warning people not to eat too many at once.
• 1:40
  The sweet and sour gummy worms are marketed as candy, but their high fiber content
• 1:45
  has led to digestive issues for some shoppers who treated them like a normal bag of gummies. Ugh.
• 1:53
  Trader Joe's has finally created a candy that comes with a platos.
• 1:57
  It's all fun and games until your dessert starts acting like a colon cleanse.
• 2:02
  So there's this NPR reporter that says that former Congressman George Santos
• 2:07
  called him after a story revealed that Santos was under investigation for profiting
• 2:12
  from prediction in a market trade to go into Trump's State of the Union address.
• 2:17
  During the call, the reporter says Santos told him, this story is going to get you a gun to your face.
• 2:24
  Santos then later denied saying that, claiming he actually said the story would
• 2:29
  blow up in your face, and accused the reporter of making things up.
• 2:34
  The reporter says that Santos has begun publicly denying the threat before it had even been reported.
• 2:40
  So George Santos may be the first person in history to
• 2:44
  issue a denial before the accusations have even
• 2:47
  been made that's not getting ahead of the story that's
• 2:50
  trying to lap it in Lindsay life I
• 2:54
  was out with my current boss my old boss and a network executive and I saw a
• 3:00
  cute guy and I was like well obviously I have to go flirt with him so I got
• 3:05
  up in the middle of the conversation with the three of them and went to go flirt
• 3:09
  with this guy literally right in front of them.
• 3:13
  So that happened. And then yesterday, my boss decided to text my ex that I haven't
• 3:21
  spoken to in like six months and said, you want to nick it?
• 3:27
  I talked about this in an open mic too. And everyone was like,
• 3:31
  what does that mean? You want to nick it?
• 3:33
  I'm like, I don't know, but he's like obsessed with the nicks.
• 3:36
  And that's kind of funny, right?
• 3:37
  You haven't talked to somebody in six months and you get the text, you want to nick it?
• 3:43
  I don't know. I don't know. Hopefully he answers me, but we'll see.
• 3:47
  This week's MVP goes to Scott Pelley.
• 3:51
  Not because he did anything particular crazy, but because CBS fired him from
• 3:57
  60 Minutes after 22 years and somehow detonated the entire television ecosystem.
• 4:06
  And suddenly, it's all chaos. Jimmy Kimball jumped into all this, like, yeah.
• 4:13
  This is insane. Rachel Maddow follows that with that signature tone of calm,
• 4:18
  intellectual disappointment, like a librarian just found out someone replaced
• 4:22
  all the books with coupons.
• 4:24
  And just like that, Scott Pelley becomes the emotional center of the week.
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  Not from a speech, not from a scandal, not even from a dramatic unfair farewell.
• 4:35
  He just got fired, and the entire media industry reacts like someone pulled
• 4:39
  the fire alarm in a building no one really iced was made of glass.
• 4:43
  Because now CBS isn't just a network, it's giving prestige soap opera.
• 4:49
  I mean, especially after this whole Stephen Colbert thing.
• 4:53
  It's giving previously on journalism. And Scott Pelley isn't even the protagonist.
• 4:59
  He's the chair everyone is suddenly arguing about in therapy.
• 5:03
  And CBS is quietly hoping everyone moves on which is adorable it's like putting
• 5:09
  on a kitchen fire with sparkling water and optimism.
• 5:13
  So MVP of this week goes to Scott Pelley not for winning not for speaking but
• 5:18
  for getting fired and accidentally becoming the emotional glue to a newsroom
• 5:22
  group chat meltdown congratulations Scott you didn't set out to be the main
• 5:26
  character but the industry just looked at you and said yeah that's our season finale right here,
• 5:32
  cooking tip of the day if you buy food to cook then you kind of have to cook
• 5:38
  it feedback comments questions and i show you by looking for a date email me
• 5:42
  at lindsay at the daily starcast.com thanks so much for listening have a great
• 5:47
  weekend stay hydrated put on your sunscreen and i will talk to you guys on monday.