Latest / Chatting with Cara - The Relationship with Food Podcast / Those "fat memes" you keep sharing? They're not as harmless as you think.
Transcript
- 0:00Hello, welcome to Chatting with Cara.
- 0:02I'm Cara, your compassionate life coach, relationship with
- 0:05food specialist, and I'm here to help you understand yourself a
- 0:09little bit better each week. However you found your way here
- 0:13today, I'm glad you're listening.
- 0:14Maybe your friend sent you this episode.
- 0:16Maybe you've been with me from the start, or maybe you're just
- 0:19curious about doing things differently when it comes to
- 0:22food, your body, and how you feel about yourself.
- 0:25Whatever brought you here, you're in the right place.
- 0:28Here's what I do on the show. I have honest, kind
- 0:31conversations about the stuff that's actually holding you
- 0:34back. Not the surface level stuff, the
- 0:36deep stuff, the root causes. Because when you truly
- 0:40understand why you think and feel the way you do, then
- 0:44everything starts to change. It doesn't feel hard anymore, it
- 0:47just feels natural. So get comfortable, make
- 0:50yourself great, and let's have a proper chat about the things
- 0:53that matter. This is chatting with Gava.
- 0:58Welcome to today's Chatting with Cara.
- 1:00Now, I normally hype up episodes.
- 1:03I'm like, Oh my God, I've got such a great episode for you
- 1:05today. It's going to transform how you
- 1:08think and feel about food. But today's episode isn't like
- 1:12that. Not saying it's not going to be
- 1:14a good one, but it's not like that because today I'm just
- 1:17bringing awareness to something, to something that you probably
- 1:21think is actually quite harmless, but it's not.
- 1:26So it's more of an interesting 1 today.
- 1:28It's more of a, yeah, interesting one.
- 1:32Be like, oh, I never thought of it like that type of podcast.
- 1:37And I've been wanting to do this podcast for ages, to be honest,
- 1:40but I've never really had the words to articulate it.
- 1:44I still don't know if I've got the word to articulate it.
- 1:47So Oslo. So just bear with me on this
- 1:50one. But today's podcast I am talking
- 1:53about, you know, on social media when you get like these little
- 1:58silly little memes and I'm talking about them and how some
- 2:08of them are really fat phobic. So I'm going to give you little
- 2:14little taste of what I mean. So on people's stories, people
- 2:20can like re share reels and they can share things that other
- 2:24people have made and I don't know who's making them to be
- 2:25honest, but some people are. Then it gets distributed to more
- 2:31and more people. It's on their stories, more
- 2:33people see it. So it's all becomes more
- 2:35basically. Now I have had a little cert, I
- 2:39went on TikTok for this, but it's on Instagram.
- 2:42It's on Facebook too. I went on TikTok because he's
- 2:45got a really good search function and I put in fat memes
- 2:51and it's come up with loads of two months.
- 2:53I was absolutely horrified and mortified when I was doing this.
- 2:56I was like, oh God. But this is an example of what I
- 3:01mean. Say there's a picture of a pool
- 3:06and a pig doing a little dance in front of it accompanied with
- 3:12the words live footage of me at the pool as my pre holiday diet
- 3:17failed and now I'm fatter than before I started.
- 3:21That's got 410 likes. Then another me which is a video
- 3:29of someone talking into like a really big dessert me seconds I
- 3:35have to complain how fat I am. Then I've got AI think this is
- 3:41like a Guinea pig, a Guinea pig that's superimposed in a kitchen
- 3:47and the wording is me on my way to the kitchen for a snack after
- 3:51crying about being fat. Yep, I've got another one here
- 3:57which is like a don't mean. It's like a chef type animated
- 4:04thing and it goes when I'm already having a bad day and
- 4:08then I remember I'm chubby too. And then what?
- 4:14The other one I've got a person in a larger body who is riding a
- 4:18duck type go Kart on a field with the word in me heading into
- 4:252006, still fat as fuck and mentally unstable.
- 4:29And I think this one, I, I don't like these, but I think this one
- 4:34might be my best because someone's actually put some F
- 4:38into this one. You Barry from EastEnders, he
- 4:42sang that someone's like did he sang that Donald Trump's
- 4:45inauguration or something? And he's singing and that's been
- 4:50super imposed onto a in someone's house and it's going
- 4:56when you've been crying because you're fat and you need to lose
- 4:59weight me on my way on. Let me start that again.
- 5:05So I've got Barry EastEnders singing when you've been crying
- 5:08because you're fat and you need to lose weight me on just eat,
- 5:13ordering a Chinese. I haven't said that one, baby,
- 5:17whatever. But these are the things I'm
- 5:20talking about, these memes that I see on Instagram and there's a
- 5:27couple of people who do it all the time and can we stop it,
- 5:35Please? Can we stop it?
- 5:38Because you might think, oh, Cara, these are just harmless.
- 5:40They're a bit harmless, but there's not they're not because
- 5:45this is diet culture. This is diet culture
- 5:48infiltrating social media. Obviously it's rife, rife in
- 5:54social media, but this is like in your face diet culture.
- 5:57And you won't be like, Cara, what is diet culture?
- 6:01So let's go back. Diet culture is a system of
- 6:04beliefs that worships thinness and equates it to health and
- 6:10model virtue it makes so basically if you're thinner you
- 6:13are better person. It promotes weight loss as a way
- 6:17of being like a higher status and it demonises ways of eating
- 6:23whilst elevating others. And it oppresses people.
- 6:27This is the one, this is the this is the key bit.
- 6:29It oppresses people who don't match up to the Sposes picture
- 6:33of health, which disproportionately effects
- 6:37women, people in larger bodies, people of colour and people with
- 6:41disabilities, damaging both mental and physical health.
- 6:46That is a definition of diet culture.
- 6:50At farm Chrissy Harrington, it was a certified intuitive eating
- 6:53counsellor. That's the one that I use.
- 6:56So diet culture is a really damaging thing and it's really
- 7:02been normalised for so long. And now my job is to educate you
- 7:09as saying, oh, look, these memes are diet culture and they're
- 7:12damaging to people's mental and physical health so that if you
- 7:16feel safe and comfortable to do so, you can call it out.
- 7:19And then these memes get reduced.
- 7:20And then we don't have this diet culture in our society on our
- 7:24social media and it all gets reduced.
- 7:26That is the plan. That's the plan.
- 7:29Are you with me? Because I don't know about you
- 7:32but I hate seeing these memes because and I'm just I'm in a or
- 7:38say a straight sized body and I have pretty good body image how
- 7:44I think I feel about my body. But if I was in a larger body
- 7:48and I was seeing these things, especially if they're being
- 7:55posted by someone in a smaller body than me, how could that
- 8:00make me feel? It would make me feel pretty
- 8:02rubbish. It would make me feel like my
- 8:04body wasn't worthy, that I wasn't worthy, that I wasn't
- 8:07good enough, that they were better than me.
- 8:09There's a whole load of feelings that would come up.
- 8:13I would also create fat phobic feelings.
- 8:18So for the person who's receiving it, for the person
- 8:20who's looking at it. But actually this isn't really
- 8:22very funny. Like I don't find a pig dancing
- 8:27in front of a pool saying that they're even fatter than when
- 8:30they start their diet funny. I certainly don't.
- 8:33But for the person receiving it, it's quite damaging.
- 8:36It's stigmatising, fat phobic, and the less we can have in that
- 8:43society the better to be on this.
- 8:47But for the person who's reposting it, I want to be like,
- 8:52are you OK, let's have a little chat about this because this is
- 8:56sort of thing that's can become sort of like, oh, it's really
- 9:02funny, but actually becomes more of like a self fulfilling
- 9:04prophecy. You're like, oh, I just cry
- 9:09because I'm really fat. And then I go in order to
- 9:12Chinese and that sort of becomes normalised.
- 9:15And it's like, well, no, actually, let's have a look at
- 9:17your body image. Let's have a look at what's
- 9:20going on so that you're crying. Let's have a look at what
- 9:22emotions you're feeling so that we can put in some strategies to
- 9:26help deal with those emotions. And then let's put in some tools
- 9:29that you can use in that moment. Instead of of calling for a
- 9:32Chinese, it becomes normalised. And it's like, no, actually it's
- 9:38might be a bit funny. You might be a bit.
- 9:39Yeah. Oh, yeah.
- 9:40I've just come in. I'm really fat.
- 9:41And then we're not in Chinese. But actually, if you're that
- 9:43person that's really unhappy in their body, really unhappy that
- 9:49it's making you cry, but you haven't got the emotional
- 9:54awareness to deal with it, and therefore you go to your coping
- 9:59strategy, which is using food to deal with that feeling, then we
- 10:04need to break that pattern because that coping strategy
- 10:08that you're using to to deal with that feeling of fatness is
- 10:12not helping. It's a big circle and that's one
- 10:16of the things that I do in my coaching, one to one coaching
- 10:19sort of bread and butter stuff that I do that is break cycles,
- 10:22breaking cycles. So some, well actually, yeah,
- 10:25there's quite a lot of dysregulation there.
- 10:27That dysregulation can be regulated.
- 10:29You just need to know a few tools and strategies and that's
- 10:31exactly what I do want to want coaching.
- 10:35So yeah, it's normalised for the person who's posting it.
- 10:39It's stigmatising for the person who's looking at it.
- 10:42And I don't know about you, but I certainly don't want my
- 10:47teenage, not teenage because she might, she might still be like
- 10:5023. She's only 11, stepdaughter,
- 10:53looking at things like this. I certainly don't want it, no.
- 11:00So here's what you can do if you feel safe and comfortable to do
- 11:04so. Call it out.
- 11:06Call it out and say, oh, look, I don't really think this is
- 11:10appropriate. It's not very nice.
- 11:14And I always go back to the thing like, is it kind?
- 11:19Is it kind? If it's not kind, don't post it.
- 11:25Just open up conversations with someone who does it all the
- 11:28time. I've got a few people who I see
- 11:32and I'm like, oh, let's not do this, let's not do it.
- 11:40You can also mute them. You can also block them.
- 11:44You can also report them, especially on Instagram and
- 11:49Facebook. But it's normally like a bit
- 11:50nicer just to educate people and be like, oh, I feel like this is
- 11:53a bit unkind. I feel like it's fat phobic.
- 11:57I feel like if I was in a larger body and I was seeing this, I
- 12:01wouldn't really like it. Yeah, you might get pushed back.
- 12:05You might get a bit like being called woke.
- 12:07But you know what? I'm fine being called woke.
- 12:09I'd rather be called woke than damage someone's mental and
- 12:13physical health all day long. But it does need some awareness
- 12:20to bring into it. It does need some like, oh, you
- 12:22know what? This isn't great.
- 12:23This is diet culture and diet culture does does a job on women
- 12:29to be honest. It keeps women obsessed with
- 12:31their bodies, what they look like instead of focusing on
- 12:34taking over the world. Because let's face it, we if we
- 12:37took over the world, the world would be a better place.
- 12:41So let's change the paradigm shift.
- 12:44Let's go from diet culture. Let's just reduce it one single
- 12:47meme at a time. So that's your job.
- 12:51This podcast is just to bring some awareness to these things
- 12:55that you probably might see every day.
- 12:58And then if you feel comfortable to call it out and then educate
- 13:02the person on the other end of it.
- 13:04And then let's reduce that diet culture down.
- 13:07Let's get it out of our society. Let's get it off our social
- 13:10media. Let's break the generational
- 13:12cycle for the next generation. That's your job.
- 13:18That is today's podcast. If I've said anything and you're
- 13:22like, oh, Carl, I've post these memes or you're like, Oh yeah, I
- 13:25know someone who does that, then just send me some examples.
- 13:29Like send them to me and I will talk you through like how in one
- 13:34to one coaching, I will just break them down like that one.
- 13:38Like, oh, I'm emotionally eating, I'm feeling fat.
- 13:40And then I go and eat and order Chinese.
- 13:42No, let's look at why you're feeling fat.
- 13:44Let's look at your body image. Let's look if you're body
- 13:46checking, let's look at what actual feelings you're feeling
- 13:49because fat isn't a feeling. You're feeling something else.
- 13:52What's going on for you with that situation?
- 13:54Why is food your coping strategy?
- 13:55What does a Chinese give you? How can we implement some other
- 14:00healthier and more direct coping strategies that feel comfortable
- 14:06to you, that regulate your motion that is in line with your
- 14:09longer term goal? Let's have a look at that.
- 14:13Yes, that's what I do in one tone caching.
- 14:16So yeah, let's stop sharing the memes.
- 14:21Let's stop liking the memes. Let's call the memes out.
- 14:24And on that, go forth and educate.
- 14:28Thank you. Thank you so much for listening
- 14:32to me today. If something in this episode
- 14:34landed for you, if you've had that moment when you thought,
- 14:37oh, that's me, I want you to do something with it.
- 14:40Don't just let it sit there. Share this episode with someone
- 14:43who needs to hear it. Send the link, tell them you
- 14:46need to start listening to Chatting with Carla because this
- 14:49work spreads when we talk about it.
- 14:51And if you're ready to stop cycling for the same patterns
- 14:55and actually do the deep work, it changes everything.
- 14:58I'd love to work with you one to one book yourself for free, no
- 15:01obligation consultation. Call in the show notes.
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- 15:08and I'll give you the road map to get there.
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- 15:22You can find me on Instagram and Facebook at Katrin Karma or
- 15:26e-mail me at Karma at Kojimukar K dot Ek.
- 15:31Until next time. Thanks team.