Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Bank After Dark

Transcript

Phone Tap: Bank After Dark · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: In this economy, companies are struggling to find ways to
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: maximize profits. And that's why we here at Brooke and
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Jeffrey have come up with a few fun, creative solutions
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: to make some extra cash. Like when we call this
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: guy today and tell him, your bank now isn't just
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: a bank anymore. And you should buy tickets. You'll find
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: out to what in your phone tap right now.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: Brooke and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: Hello?
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: Hi, this is Tori from Citibank. May I speak with Nick?
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: This is Nick speaking. Hi, Nick. We received your complaint
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: about a recent deposit that didn't go through. Do you
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: have a quick moment to go over it with me? Well,
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: last Wednesday, I went to the bank and I tried
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: to deposit three checks.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: And I'm looking at my account and it looks like
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: only two actually went through.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: Oh, do you know what? I am so sorry, Nick.
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: Can you just hold on one second? Yeah, yeah. Thank you.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: Here at Citibank, you're not just a customer. You're a friend. What?
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: But did you know we're much more than just a
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: financial institution? In fact, at nighttime, we actually rent our
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: space for events now. Weddings, bar mitzvahs, anniversaries, you name it,
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: we can do it. It's banking and much more. At Citi,
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: we're here for you.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: Um....
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: Excuse me?
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: What was that?
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: What was what?
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: That infomercial or whatever you just did?
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: The bank requires us to do that occasionally when we're
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: doing customer service calls.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: I don't know. They're probably just looking to maximize extra
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: revenue during this tough economic time. I mean, we're all
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: feeling the pinch, aren't we, Nick? I guess. Yes, I
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: understand the ads we're doing are a little unconventional.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they are. Like, I didn't know banks did bar mitzvahs.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: That's weird. Could you hold that thought for just a second?
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: I guess. Hi there again. You may have recently heard
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: we do weddings, anniversary parties, and bar mitzvahs. But did
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: you know we also host small to medium-sized conventions? Groups
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: like Lawyers of America, amputees anonymous and the home of
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: furry con 2027 where we're putting the spank in bank
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: tickets now on our website and remember We're more than
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: just a financial institution.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: What the hell is going on?
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: Are you looking at your savings account? Excuse me? Not
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: a lot in there. I see it too.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: No, I mean like the crazy infomercials and you guys
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: are promoting furry con.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: You know, Nick, I'm just reading what they give me.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: I don't even know what that means. Oh. You know what?
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: Can I ask, would you like to attend furry con?
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: I can give you the website again.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: No, no. I want to handle my checks not going through.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: I don't want to go to no furry con.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: I hear you loud and clear, Nick. Now back to
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: your issue. You were unhappy about the amount of complimentary
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: lollipops we had available. No, I don't care about lollipops.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to get my check deposited.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: That's right. I think I can handle this. Please hold. No!
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: At CityBank, we value your privacy. Not this again! That's
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: why we're proud to introduce something we call Underground Events.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Hello?
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: Hello? Can you hear me? Every Thursday at 10 p.m.,
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: we host our Black Market Mixer, where we encourage customer
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: networking where no one uses their real name. Stop. Please stop. Plus,
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: on the weekends, why not swing by and check out
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: our bi-monthly Friends with Benefits Fair, where contracts are strictly verbal. Oh, God. Remember,
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: at Citibank, we don't just protect your money. We protect
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: your secrets, too. I don't even know what to say.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: You keep telling me about these freaky bank events that
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: you guys are having.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: It doesn't make any sense. Okay. You just want to
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: solve your problem, huh? Yes. All right. Like the problem
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: where you don't know this is a prank phone call?
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: Say that again?
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: You know, the problem where your brother told us the
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: issue at the bank and then wanted me to play
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: a joke on you for the radio? Are you serious?
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: Are you fucking serious? I thought I was losing my mind.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: This is actually Brett from Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: We're doing a phone tap on you. I don't work
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: for the bank.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: I was about to go get a new bank.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah? Or were you about to go online and
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: order some furry tickets?
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: No, I was not. Brooke and Jeffrey's phone taps on
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: the 20s.