Latest / JOY LOVING HOME - SAHM, Productivity, Home Organization, Declutter, ADHD Mom, ADHD SAHM, ADHD Brain / 282: Declutter Without Drama: The 4 Ps That Make Sorting Simple

Transcript

282: Declutter Without Drama: The 4 Ps That Make Sorting Simple · JOY LOVING HOME - SAHM, Productivity, Home Organization, Declutter, ADHD Mom, ADHD SAHM, ADHD Brain

0:01
Today's podcast is for you if you have struggled with decluttering from a standpoint
0:08
of feeling like you can justify a reason to keep every item,
0:13
and you really struggle letting go or you feel defensive when you are trying
0:22
to follow some organizer's sort of logic as to,
0:28
everything has to have an active use in your life and or you need to let it go and
0:35
and you just struggle with that process if if that sounds like you then get
0:41
a pencil and paper ready because this is a very tactical episode on,
0:46
a new way to think through sorting,
0:50
in which you don't have to worry about defending and you don't have to worry about purging.
0:56
The answers will reveal themselves in a way that you will be comfortable with.
1:01
So we'll dig into that right after this.
1:04
A wise person once said, everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its
1:09
ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it's stupid.
1:14
Well, fish, quit trying to climb trees while getting advice from well-intentioned monkeys.
1:20
It's time to jump in the water and learn how to swim with the current of your life.
1:24
I'm Joy, a professional organizer, mom of four, and fellow fish brain.
1:29
If you're looking for a place to get understanding, encouragement,
1:33
and ideas for your home that actually fit how your brain thinks,
1:38
then I'm glad you're here.
1:39
Let's ditch the type A advice and embrace what makes our brains and our homes unique.
1:45
Together, we could have a joy-loving home.
1:50
Welcome, or welcome back to the Joy Living Home Podcast. Today,
1:53
I am excited to dig into a different way to sort.
1:57
And because I love a good alliteration, you are going to remember this because
2:04
the categories have four Ps,
2:08
and that is even before, after all of the sorting is over, we get to choose
2:14
whether we really want to find it a place or find it a purge.
2:18
So we are going to dig into this but I need you to be ready to sort of think out of the box to not,
2:28
resort to that old you know sort like things together and then decide,
2:35
you know whether they you're actively using them you haven't used it in a year
2:40
when I really wear this again the whole nine yards.
2:43
This is going to be totally different categories.
2:46
I had the opportunity yesterday in the membership group, we have our Tackle
2:51
It Tuesday Zoom sessions, where we get some accountability. And I tested the
2:55
whole process out on a cabinet in my kitchen that had gotten out of control.
3:02
And I am happy to report that the process worked quite well. So I'm,
3:06
having my exact one sample size to fall back on, I'm ready to dig into it with
3:13
you. And if you do give this a shout, please consider reaching back out to me.
3:18
I am reachable through my email, joyatjoylovinghome.com. I'm over on Instagram,
3:24
even though I'm not active over there, you can DM me over there.
3:28
I have started having blog posts for every podcast on the website.
3:34
The website is joylovinghome.com.
3:36
And at the bottom of those blog posts, you can add your own comments,
3:40
which opens you up for a chance for people to comment back.
3:44
Or I have the free group, which you get to by going to bit.ly slash joylovinghomecommunity.
3:51
You're welcome to comment on any podcast with inside of that group.
3:56
You're welcome to throw a photo up and ask for help in there.
3:59
There's a great resource of fabulous people in there. Or the membership is open
4:04
and you are welcome to join for $10 a month, or you can pay $100 for the year,
4:09
which is a two-month savings.
4:11
And in the membership group, we have regular accountability sessions,
4:17
which help you tackle these things.
4:19
So if you're listening and you're like, hey, that sounds like that could work,
4:22
and then you don't find yourself taking action, that's the whole point of the membership group.
4:27
It's a way to force yourself into action, and we all get a lot done on those
4:32
Tackle It Tuesdays, so consider joining us.
4:35
All right, digging into the four Ps of sorting.
4:39
So what I did yesterday is I was in a Tackle It Tuesday session,
4:44
and I spent the first hour just overhauling.
4:49
The countertops and the dishes and got my appearance of my kitchen back to ground zero.
4:57
So everything was cleaned and put away and washed up and I had a nice,
5:02
I have a very long island area so I was able to clear it all off.
5:06
And I put these sticky notes across the island so that I could pull things out
5:12
of this cabinet and sort them as I was pulling them out.
5:15
So the first one, and the one that's probably quite logical for you, is purpose.
5:21
The things that I would sort into the purpose category were things that have
5:27
an active, clear, current, usable purpose in my life.
5:34
And that purpose could be a job that it does or a joy that it brings.
5:39
Those are the only J's you're going to hear about.
5:42
But it is important to categorize that in my head because there are things that
5:48
serve a purpose even if they just make you smile.
5:52
There's nothing wrong. It doesn't have to be utilitarian. So it does have an
5:58
active, current purpose.
6:01
So for me, I was sorting out a cabinet where I store a whole lot of things and
6:04
it's under my coffee maker and
6:06
it's right next to my table, kitchen table where we eat 98% of our meals.
6:13
So under this cabinet, there's, you know, the napkins and the plasticware and the paper plates are.
6:22
For those days when we are not wanting to use the dishes, because for whatever
6:29
reason, don't have to explain that, you know what that means.
6:32
Because the coffee maker is on this countertop and the mugs are all above,
6:36
below is where all the extra coffees and the,
6:40
powdered creamers and the sweeteners and the to-go coffee cups go and all of that is underneath.
6:48
And then also underneath is all of the,
6:53
I have always made my kids birthday cakes and no I am not a talented baker I
7:00
just can do a rudimentary drawing and I have always let them pick out whatever
7:05
they want on the top of their cake and so my.
7:09
Icing tips and and food coloring and,
7:14
there's also sprinkles and the muffin liners and like all the cupcakes to all
7:19
that's also all crammed under this same cabinet and it's gotten to where it's
7:23
gotten a little out of control.
7:24
So I needed to just evaluate what was under there. So I started lining up all
7:30
those things that are actually actively purposeful in this does it have a job
7:36
or does it bring me joy kind of category. All right.
7:39
The second one is, does it have a plan?
7:44
And the way I like to have this category and this new way to sort is we have
7:54
things that we hold on to that,
7:57
if you were doing the usual sort and purge,
8:01
you would have to defend at this point.
8:04
And this is the easiest of the defending because, you know, step A is,
8:10
yes, I use it, obviously, I keep it.
8:12
Step two is, well, I know what I want this to be for.
8:17
I'm just not using it yet.
8:21
But it has a plan. I have the plan for this thing.
8:24
And so for me, that was some various sort of coffee supplies that I don't use regularly.
8:35
And I have them as an emergency power outage stash because my particular coffee
8:41
maker requires that the beans get ground as the cup of coffee is being made.
8:46
So I always have to buy the whole beans, which was great and quite frankly, super bougie.
8:52
I don't get coffee out. But I can defend the fact that I have a nice expensive
8:58
coffee maker because I really enjoy my coffee, but it definitely makes me eat
9:02
in or drink in, in this case.
9:05
But when the power goes out and you can't ground the beans, you can't improvise.
9:11
So I discovered that having some already ground beans on hand and some filters,
9:17
even that my actual coffee maker doesn't use the filters,
9:21
I can get my gas stove to light manually, and I can boil some water,
9:27
and I can do a lovely pour over, and I can still have my coffee,
9:30
which is non-negotiable on my days. So.
9:34
I do have this stash of, it all fits in one sealed container,
9:40
that contains all of these items that I need for my lovely pour-overs.
9:44
It has plan. It's not actively used, but I will defend its space because when I need it, it's handy.
9:52
Do I need to store it in this particular spot?
9:55
One could have an argument for that, but we're not talking about place yet.
9:58
Right now, I'm just sorting its existence. So in my sorting of its existence,
10:04
it doesn't have an active purpose, but it does have a plan. So we've got to go in that category.
10:08
All right, category four is does it have a possibility?
10:13
Is there something I have thought would be really cool to use with this item,
10:17
but the occasion has not arisen yet?
10:21
And while I am telling you my very concrete kitchen story, this is a really
10:25
good one for you crafters out there.
10:28
This will be 90% of your pile if you're being super honest with yourself,
10:33
if you're a hobbyist and you're sorting your hobby because it might not be something
10:37
you're actively using and you might not have a definitive project in or a plan
10:42
in which you're going to use that item but,
10:44
man you can think of the possibilities it gets you excited that you have this
10:49
item and you've saved it for a reason because that time will come up when you
10:54
are ready and that is when you want to use this thing.
10:57
And again, this is a no defense sort. So you don't have to worry about it.
11:02
You don't have to get anxious. You don't have to get squirrely.
11:05
You don't have to start defending anything.
11:07
You just go, oh yes, this one has possibility. And you stick it in that category.
11:13
Then my final category is a category that I am calling pointless,
11:18
but we're going to be really careful about how we understand pointless.
11:22
This is not pointless as in it has no value.
11:26
This is not pointless as in this is an easy purge. Why would I even stop it
11:31
at this category before I just go ahead and purge it?
11:34
The pointless is it has lost its point as in it is no longer relevant to how I see my living my life.
11:43
It doesn't devalue the item. So in the pointless.
11:49
Category, for instance, I have gobs of gobs and gobs of cookie cutters.
11:59
And there was a point in my life when that was used at least annually for Christmas cookies and,
12:10
rolling out sugar cookies and doing ice cookies with the kids when they were little.
12:15
All of my kids are college age and above now.
12:18
Or there is a point in my life in which I would love to do that with grandkids
12:24
one day, but I am a far cry from grandkids at this point in my life.
12:29
At least it seems so. I know life can change on a dime.
12:33
But at this point, Thank you.
12:36
It has lost its point. It is pointless. So I will put items that inherently
12:44
are valuable, that have a lovely memory or an intended future of a one day,
12:51
but they don't have a point for my life right now. Those get to go in the pointless category.
12:56
So now that you know we have a purpose, a plan, a possibility, or they're pointless.
13:04
That you could literally sort everything from anywhere and not have to get anxious
13:12
about defending its value.
13:15
Picture this in your closet with things that you're actively wearing,
13:20
things that you were, you know, you already purchased this for the family Christmas card picture.
13:26
This has a possibility you loved the item, but you haven't figured out how to
13:29
match it with an outfit yet. But like when you find that other item that's going
13:33
to turn this into an outfit, it has a possibility of being worn one day.
13:37
Or you have that entire wardrobe from when you used to work in the corporate
13:42
world and now everybody stays home and on the days you have to go back,
13:46
nobody dresses like they used to.
13:48
And so these really lovely workwear items have lost their point.
13:54
That's a closet example of this sorting by the piece.
14:00
So can you sort of take a breath and go, okay, okay, I can maybe get behind
14:08
this type of a sort because it's not going to make me have to defend the value of keeping it yet.
14:15
The value is just what category does it fit in?
14:19
Is it a purpose? Is it a plan? Is it a possibility? Or is it pointless?
14:25
Now, once you have it sorted, you look back at the space, and at this point,
14:32
I, you know, wiped everything down,
14:34
evaluated, you know, what is the point of the space that I'm about to fill back up?
14:42
Is it suited for the way I want to use this real estate?
14:47
Is it suited for how I'm living my life now?
14:52
It doesn't mean I can't find things a different place, but every spot in your
14:57
home when you're thinking about place is to think about its function.
15:02
Is this going to add function to my real existence? Is this going to make my
15:09
life easier that I am storing this item here?
15:14
Or is it making my life more complicated because I'm digging through too many
15:18
things to get to the stuff that's actually useful?
15:21
To the way I function in my life.
15:24
So once you define what needs to go into that place, then you can start taking
15:30
the items they've already categorized themselves as valuable to you,
15:36
in order based on where you put them in this lineup of a purpose,
15:40
a plan, a possibility, and a pointless.
15:43
And then you can start utilizing the space, It's filling it to a level that
15:50
is actually workable for your real life.
15:54
And that's when you're deciding, does this thing earn its place here or has it earned a purge?
16:03
And by a purge, it doesn't mean that it's no longer valuable.
16:07
It just means its value is going to be in somebody else's home.
16:13
So you can now, I mean, we're not talking the easy trash.
16:18
We're not talking the easy, you know, I have a zero energy or interest in this
16:24
item anymore. Those are the easy purges.
16:27
We're talking, these were the things that now that I have them out here and
16:32
now that I see the role they're currently functioning as in my life,
16:37
I can decide whether I'm willing to defend the real estate I'm about to give it.
16:41
So for me in this particular storyline of the cabinet,
16:46
because it lives next to the table all the paper goods all make sense to me
16:51
to still live here because I'm the type of person where you could say well you
16:56
know save your paper goods for like an emergency,
17:00
box them up and stick them down in the storage bin and then when you know the
17:04
power's out or you've got a really exhausting day And you got too many kids
17:09
showed up and you don't, you know, there's dishes dirty and you need to pull out extra,
17:14
plasticware or plates or the party's about to happen or whatever, the impromptu party.
17:22
I don't like the extra steps of heading into a storage room somewhere and pulling
17:26
out the bin of paper goods.
17:28
I like that in a pinch, they're right there by the table.
17:31
Now, if you're like, I am all about the environment right now.
17:36
I don't want to use one-use items. To me, these truly are emergency stashes.
17:41
Then yes, box them up and get them out of there. Create the friction you need
17:45
to use your everyday dishes every single day.
17:49
Don't give yourself the easy out by organizing them right by the table if your
17:55
value is not to ever use them.
17:59
My value is, I know they're down there. When I need them, I'm disciplined enough
18:05
to go, yeah, this is a time I'm willing to use a paper plate.
18:09
90% of the time, I actually reach up to the cabinet right above,
18:14
and that's where all the dishes sit.
18:16
So it is just, it's actually easier for me to reach up and grab.
18:22
The reusable dishes than it is for me to bend down and dig into the cabinet
18:27
to get the one-time-use dishes.
18:31
So you know your space, you know your value around that type of usage,
18:37
so you can defend whether that real estate is worth it to you or not.
18:40
I also have the luxury of I do have the space. Now, if I didn't have the space
18:46
in my kitchen and every single inch needs to defend itself against all the kitchen
18:51
things I use every day, then yeah, maybe then I do box them up.
18:56
All depends on our very unique living situations. And that's where you get to use your brain.
19:05
You don't have to defend it to anybody but yourself, but you want the item to be worth your trouble.
19:12
Okay. So once you have placed all of the things that have an actual purpose,
19:17
and you're like, this is, this is, it's got elbow room.
19:20
It's, it's getting used, used well, I've defended all the space then you can
19:25
look at the things that have a plan and you can say okay these things have a
19:29
plan do they get stored in this area
19:32
where it's like everyday use or does it get stored somewhere in a higher cabinet
19:38
that I have to grab the stepladder for does it get to be stored in the basement does it get to be stored
19:43
you know in that cabinet over the fridge it's really hard to get to but I like
19:47
knowing that the stuff is there.
19:49
You can defend its location and honor it with a place based on your actual function,
19:57
not on whether it would look nice on Instagram or TikTok.
20:00
So my little coffee container of In Case the Power Goes Out actually fits right there.
20:09
I don't have to remember or fumble around in the dark with my,
20:14
you know, camera, sorry, my phone flashlight because I probably am not having
20:21
current batteries in my real flashlight.
20:23
I don't want to go digging for 10 minutes to find a way to make a coffee and
20:27
I have the space so I can defend keeping my item I plan for a use in that space.
20:34
Again, already discussed how you make a decision on your placing of things,
20:38
but for me that worked in that space, and it had room, and so I fit it back in.
20:43
Now, the things with the possibilities and the possibility items,
20:49
those to me get the harshest glance, because I.
20:55
Don't have a good excuse for what ifs.
20:59
But what if this random thing should happen?
21:03
And when I'm trying to defend my space, I have to really, really,
21:09
really be excited about an item in this possibilities category for me to defend the usage of it.
21:16
And interestingly, I only had some sort of very special use mugs in here.
21:24
So I had the little fancy little cute little espresso cups and I had these really
21:30
beautiful pottery thrown mugs, if you will, but they were mugs with no handles.
21:36
And so they had to have these special silicone sleeves so that you could even
21:40
handle the pottery because it gets hot when you pour hot coffee in it because
21:44
I tested it after I thought it was beautiful.
21:46
And sometimes beautiful things that are meant to be utilitarian just don't really
21:49
function that well. And so it.
21:52
It had possibility, but I'm having really trouble because when I do have an
21:57
espresso, I just reach for the nearest mug and I throw it in.
22:01
And while I can say I love a pretty mug, I actually use my mugs as memories.
22:06
That is the thing we do as a souvenir.
22:09
And I love every day when I reach in my cabinet smiling because,
22:14
oh, there's the one from the trip to Banff I just got back from.
22:17
And there's the one from the trip to Yosemite that we took when the kids were
22:21
younger. And there's the one from Yellowstone with the bison on it because we saw so many bison.
22:25
So every time I grab a mug, it is a flood of a lovely vacation memory.
22:31
And these fancy little pottery ones or these little tiny espresso ones don't
22:36
have a memory associated to them because they're just generic pretty.
22:39
They're not memory pretty.
22:41
And so they don't have, there's a possibility, but I can't defend the use of space.
22:47
So those are, I'm going to be honest, I haven't put them away yet anywhere because
22:54
I need to dig deeply into the full mug.
22:58
Aisle, mug cabinet, and dig it all out and make sure all the mugs are earning
23:03
their space because there are a lot of them.
23:05
So that is another time's problem.
23:09
But I did move them because I didn't like them in this place and I wasn't ready
23:14
to get rid of them yet, but I did move them to where all the other overflow
23:19
mugs go to defend their space later.
23:22
They can defend it when I get to that cabinet, but they didn't win the defense
23:27
of their space in this particular cabinet. So they are gone from that restocking of that space.
23:35
And then in the pointless category, one could argue that, well,
23:42
at this point in your life, If you're not using it, purge it. Be done. Be done.
23:46
But that doesn't mean I'm never using a cookie cutter again.
23:49
And so it seems very frugally irresponsible of me to toss all of my cookie cutters
23:56
and then suddenly start over one day when I want to have a project with a grandkid.
24:01
But what I do know is that I do not need cookies.
24:07
No exaggeration, probably upwards of 75 cookie cutters.
24:12
I just don't. That's overwhelming for anybody and who wants to wash all those,
24:16
even if we got them all out and the kid played with all of them.
24:19
And yes, I know they work well for Play-Doh too, which is what we use them for
24:21
probably more than cookie making.
24:24
So I literally dumped them all out, sorted them by season, discovered I have
24:30
like five different ones that are Christmas tree shapes and four that are snowflakes
24:35
and three that are candy canes. You get the point.
24:38
So I was very easily able to bring it all down to about 10 cookie cutters,
24:45
which is still plenty of fun for Play-Doh or cookies.
24:48
And I donated the rest. And the giant container that used to take up a huge
24:55
portion of that cabinet got narrowed down to something very small and useful.
25:01
And I was able to purge through all the cake decorator tips to,
25:05
I have two sets of all the little tips. I donated all the rest.
25:09
I, that is when it is very easy to start saying, you know, there's a point where too much is too much.
25:16
I've forgotten what was down here. I lost something and bought too many extra sets.
25:20
Like all of that, when you get it together, makes sense when you start to organize,
25:26
but it allowed me to defend the amount of space.
25:31
In where I wanted to place them because it was smart, it was reasonable,
25:37
and it was easily defensible for the time when this point of this shows back up in my life.
25:44
So there was purging that happened, but all of the purging was made so much
25:49
easier once I could see the value of the function of the item within my life.
25:57
And I hope that that helps you when you go through whatever it is you're going
26:03
through and you're feeling that little panic that you're going to have to defend
26:08
every single item you pick up.
26:10
If you do this purpose plan possibility point sort first,
26:16
it will allow you to feel a lot calmer by the time you do want to defend the
26:22
item against whether it's earned a place or whether it needs to just purge its
26:28
way off to somebody else's value.
26:31
So when you're looking at those workwear items that you spent a lot of money
26:35
on, and they're nice, you could defend those by saying,
26:43
if the world goes back to where every day I need to dress up for work again.
26:49
Are there items in here that I never really loved in the first place.
26:53
And it might be worth narrowing it down to literally just five days worth of
26:59
workwear stuff that I actually love and would gravitate towards.
27:03
And then if the time comes, I might be ready to buy some more updated stuff
27:09
that's better suited to maybe your new size at that point.
27:14
So there are ways to honor why you're getting rid of things without saying that
27:21
the item just doesn't have value.
27:24
All right, I will stop there because, man, this one got long.
27:27
If you give this a try, though, please let me know how it goes.
27:31
All right, until next time, continue to choose joy.