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103. My Enriched Life · Your Enriched Self

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There was a time ago when I had an ongoing partnership with the Boys and
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Girls Club of Metro Atlanta, and I really liked that activity. It was
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a summer activity and I had the opportunity to meet with young middle and high
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school age were the groups that I worked with, and one of the things
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we were helping them learn how to is build and create resumes. And it
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was always interesting when we started that activity and we started that practice that many
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of them would say, I've never worked before. And I expected that response
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because most people think working is a nine to five or a job in which
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you get paid, you get compensated, and that's pretty much the definition of
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work in most cases. But what a lot of the kids didn't realize is
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that they were employees. They were in fact working, and I had to
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help them understand how that was even a thing. And so I would help
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them think about activities and things that they participated in that would help them see
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themselves in a different light, because as far as they knew, they were
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a student and that was it. But part of their identities, as we
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started to uncover, is some of these kids were helping their parents at events
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at church. They were helping their parents set up the event and tear down
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the event. They were part of actually selling things at said events at church
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or at football games or local activities in the community, and they did not
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identify that or recognize that as them being employed or them working. And the
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point of all that was to show them that there are things that you are
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doing that you're making a deposit into your life, and oftentimes you don't realize
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it. And it was like eye opening exercise for the students, but also
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for me because it helped me to start understanding the things that I was doing,
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such as being in that environment and participating and making deposits into the lives
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of young men and women, and those activities would serve them but also serve
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me. It also helped me to realize what was important to me and what
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I valued. And I think so much of how we live our lives is
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centered around what matters and what we do value. But we're not going to
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get to that until we understand more about what we need to fill up our
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lives and fill up our cups. Hello, my friends from all across the
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globe, and welcome to the Your Rich sub podcast. I am your host,
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Smiley noir. I'm a mindset coach and your mindset advocate, and what
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that means in this world, in your world, is that you need a
3:15
safe space. And I've created that safe space so that each and every week
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you can do the things you must do to become more of your in rich
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self. And so how I curate this space, it's with mindset fusion topics,
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self care, soul care, and getting you to think about the activities,
3:40
the thoughts in your mind and the things that you must do so that
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you can become the best version of you. And it all starts in the
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mind. So if you're not pleased, if you are not satisfied, if
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you want more, if you want to go to places you've never gone before,
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it's going to start with you managing your thoughts. And that's what we
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do here on this podcast. We walk it out together and we talk it
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out together, and we do that each and every week because I want you
4:15
to become more of your in rid self. And so I want to welcome
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you to this podcast. If you are new and this is your first time
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listening, welcome, If you are a repeat listener, thank you for being
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here. We are rolling on episode one hundred and three. And it is
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because of you. It is because of your dedication, It is because of
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your participation, and because you are committed to becoming more of your inrich self.
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So thank you for that. Stay on this journey with me. If
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you're new, you won't regret it. Now, before we get into this
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week's topic, I want to make a deposit in the bank of you,
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and I do so by way of affirmations. Affirmations are a great way to
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start your day and to command your morning. And this week's affirmation is I
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wake up with a peaceful mind and a grateful heart. I wake up with
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a peaceful mind and a grateful heart. I wake up with a peaceful mind
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and a grateful heart. Now let's get ready for this week's episode of the
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Your Enriched Self podcast. I never want to come across to this audience or
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to anyone that I have figured it out. There's so much I am still
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learning. I always consider myself as a life learner because there's so much to
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mine out there. There's so much information, of the most important and precious
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information to learn about and mine right is for me, my own information.
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We've spent our entire lives learning about everything around us, the economy, the
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world, geography, social challenges, math, science, government, you name
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it. We've been spending our lives learning about all the things that are exterior.
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And that's what you know. That's one of the big reasons why I
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created this platform and this podcast is to help us to take to come in
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closer because sometimes we're doing so many things, but we're doing it outside of
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ourselves, and I really want us to come back to center. And that's
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that's an important part of my journey, and that's what this week's episode is
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all about. It is just talking about my enriched life. My hashtags and
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my handle on many of my social media platform is my enriched self. Of
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course that this podcast is your enriched self. But I also wanted to play
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a little bit on a Netflix series that I've recently watched maybe I bought a
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couple of months ago, actually called How to Get Rich. What this financial
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expert does? His name is Ramit. But what he does on this series
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and you should check it out, it's actually pretty fun and educational. But
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what I like about it is he's developed a way to help people understand and
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define, quite frankly, their definition of a rich life, because everyone has
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a different definition of what being riches or living that fulfilling life. If you
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were to ask yourself that question and then ask a couple of your friends,
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you're going to hear different responses. And that's what the show really helped to
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talk about, and it's something I've brought to this platform for which is you
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must be in a position in your life where you are defining success for yourself,
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because again, we have gone outside of ourselves so many times to see
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what culture is doing or saying, or what's expected or where you should be
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at this certain time. And what about you? What about what you need
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to define your success or define your rich life? And this week I want
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to talk about personally. I want to share with you my enriched life and
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the things that I've used as my value systems, as how I have recalibrated
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what's important to me and what I have focused on, and there's still additional
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things. Right, It's just like someone amassing wealth or amassing riches, They're
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not just going to get one, two, three things. They're going to
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continue to do that until they build the life and build the empire or build
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the experience in this life that they want and I again, as a lifelong
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learner, that's what I would like to be able to do, to produce.
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And so I want to share a few things I was kind of thinking
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about, like one, are the things that have really helped me gain and
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sustain and enriched life. And again, this is not to say I figured
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it all out. This is to saying that I am moving in the direction
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of living and being my inrich self. I'm not just creating this platform or
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sharing a namesake or a brand of being enriched and not working at that thing.
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And I hope that you are also working at your internal brand. Right
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before the world can see or know who you are, You've got to work
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on some internal things because if you're not ready internally, when you go out
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in the world and the world starts to come at you, to attack you,
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to troll you. Because listen, you see it all the time in
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the media where someone is you know, they make it big, or they
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get in the limelight for a few minutes. You know, you're gonna have
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the people that support you, and then you're gonna have the naysayers, and
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then you're gonna have the haters, and then you're gonna have the trolls.
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I mean, that's just the way it goes. So you need to have
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developed a strong internal base. How I've done that has been what has kept
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me grounded and what has brought me back to center. I think about it
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like making a deposit. I know I talk about that all the time when
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we talk about affirmations, but I think those deposits are important. Just like
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they are in the currency space. I think those deposits are important in the
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mental space too. They're important in your life space is that you must make
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deposits into your life because there are going to be challenges, setbacks, pitfalls
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where you're gonna need to make a withdrawal. Because by the time we start
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going into where we would normally go get that withdrawal, there is nothing left
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or we've taken so much out and not put enough in, and we're finding
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ourselves in the space of bankruptcy, bankruptcy in the mental space, bankruptcy in
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the spiritual space. You've got to start making time and making the effort to
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make those deposits because guarantee, just like in life, and you got to
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take care of your bills or your emergency situation, you're gonna have to make
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withdrawals. So therefore you're going to need to have the funds the resources to
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make that happen. For me, of course, I make deposits into what
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I call the bank of me, my life, my experience, all of
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the things that are important to me. I make deposits into that. And
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I've talked about here recently that I challenged myself. If you haven't heard me
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talk about it, I've talked about it on in other social spaces that for
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the month of July, I've challenged myself to walk for thirty days. Now,
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I do work out and here and there I miss a day because you
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know, I want to rest or whatever. But I really put a challenge
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to myself. It was a way for me to inspire discipline. Again,
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I do this every once in a while, I do a reset of something
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that I can commit to for thirty days, and then more likely than not,
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I'm going to extend it. That's again, that's what I'm all about.
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But for me, it was important to make that deposit of discipline because
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I'm gonna need that for projects and different things in my life that I'm working
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on, and I'm gonna need to know for myself that I have what it
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takes. There are receipts, there is evidence that I can and I will
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and I did, and I want the same for you, and I promise
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you. It's been a life hack that has helped me to reset, restructure,
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and push past those setbacks and pitfalls and things that I've talked about.
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You need those deposits, so when you make the withdrawal, not only do
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you have enough for that episode, for that scenario, but you have enough
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to sustain you for the next thing, and in the meantime you can continue
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to make deposits in So these are I want to say, my big three
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that I've you know, over the last couple of years, since I've been
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on this journey to build myself up right, to build up this version of
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myself that I can be proud of. Not because the world wants me to
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be proud of her based on the things she's accomplished that align with the world
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structure and the world order, but for me, the things that I've helped
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me identify with my success, my enriched life. And the first thing,
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the first first thing that has helped me is forgiving myself. Forgiving yourself is
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a beautiful gift and if you are not participating in self forgiveness. I know
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we talk about I know it's important to forgive others. I understand that,
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but again that's one of those things that are outside of us, right and
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especially for those of you who are stuck, who feel stuck and you're looking
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back and you're thinking, man, I really could have been here by now,
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and then you go into the woods what I call the wood it could
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have showed us, and you start getting lost in that space, you start
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beating yourself up. How can you build yourself up when you're being eating yourself
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up? It's hard to do that. The world's already gonna beat you up
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in some way, shape or form. We talked about the haters, the
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participators, the celebrators, the trolls. There's going to be a group of
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people that are gonna come in and they're gonna beat you up already. Why
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would you want to do that to yourself? So many of you have been
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trained that when things don't go your way, when things don't go well,
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when you made a mistake, when you had to setback, instead of picking
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yourself up and moving on, you start beating yourself up, beating yourself down,
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and not giving yourself grace. I'm gonna step in. I'm gonna step
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in, and I'm gonna tell you to give yourself some grace, forgive yourself,
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and start to do it faster. I'm gonna ask you to do it
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first, and then I'm going to ask you to do it faster, because
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in order to move faster, you're gonna have to get past this friction that
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you have with yourself. And that is the thing that helped me to get
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up and go because I've made mistakes. Like I said, the onset of
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this, I have made mistakes and I probably will still make mistakes, not
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because your learning means you're not going to make mistakes. We learn from the
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mistakes, but it's going to be really important to forgive yourself. I remember
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feeling stuck in situation and what I realized was and I'll just be transparent for
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a second, financial situations. I made some bad financial decisions, and I
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spent time not fixing those financial woes and mistakes, but beating myself up for
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not knowing any better and for not understanding and for doing this and doing that
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in that same time that I invested or I would say made a withdrawal and
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bankrupt myself by beating myself up. I could have actually been making deposits and
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clearing away some of the things and some of the damage I had done,
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but I spent more time putting more hurt on hurt. It doesn't work that
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way, and it won't work at all, And so forgiving yourself it is
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going to be the gift you need to get you up on your feet,
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get you some grace, and get you to move faster. The second piece
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that helped me propel my way and get on a trajectory of my enriched life
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was learning to take up room, taking up room. I would go in
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a room and I would rather be the wallpaper than be myself. And there's
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a lot behind that. There was shame. There was you know, not
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feeling like I was enough, not speaking up for myself. I don't know
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how many of you have dealt with that, But for me, mine rich
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self or my enriched life is saying I can go in that room and I
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can actually take up room. I can take up the seat that I was
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given access to. I can sit at that table confidently now knowing that I
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am enough, that I am worthy, and I should in fact be in
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that room, and I should in fact raise my hand, and I should
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in fact use my voice. And those are things that a time ago I
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wouldn't do, I couldn't do. And it was because I hadn't done the
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internal work. I was learning all about life. Like I said, I'm
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a learner, and that's a good thing, but it's important to take that
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back home, back to center. And I hadn't learned that skill yet.
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I was so busy trying to absorb the world and figure things out while I
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wasn't figuring out myself. I wasn't understanding my boundaries, my value, what
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was important to me, and though why I can confidently say now. And
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I had a scenario recently where I wasn't a room and I was participating,
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and I was shocking myself, and I didn't have that feeling of discomfort,
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like is what I'm saying going to disrupt the room? Are people going to
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look at me? Funny? If I asked this question, am I going
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to say something stupid? I am at the point now where that does not
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matter. What matters is I'm comfortable enough in my skin. I'm comfortable enough
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to know that I am there. I belong there, and I'm going to
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take up room while I'm there, And let me tell you, that is
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such an empowering feeling. It is me being in my enriched life and it
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feels so good over here. It's not just confidence, it's learning about yourself
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which brings the confidence, because when you know who you are, and you
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know whose you are, you're not gonna fall for the oky dog. You're
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not going to listen to the negative words and thoughts and the old beliefs that
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have been clouding your mind. That's what used to happen to me. It
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wasn't the people in the room even saying anything. It was the thoughts in
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my head that we're saying everything, everything that went against me, believing that
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I should take up room, believing that I was enough, believing that I
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was worthy. Negative self talk can also get you stuck. It can put
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you in pause, it can put you at full stop. And that's why
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these weekly deposits of affirmations and me doing this walk journey, challenging myself,
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doing something for myself. I get to unplug and that is my daily retreat.
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I get to retreat, unplug from the world, remove the expectations and
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just be with myself and allowing myself to do that and putting myself in that
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space has given me self confidence because now I get to know who I am,
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and knowing who you are helps to build a self confidence. And it's
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so important and it's so rich, and I want you to have that.
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And so that's why I'm sharing with you my version of my enriched life.
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And yours will look different, yours will feel different, and yours will sound
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different. And the thing about that is, just like this Netflix show that
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I was talking about, no one's story was the same. Why Because we're
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all different people. Your story shouldn't be like mine, and my shouldn't be
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like yours. But we were trained, We were taught. It was inculcated
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into us that in order to be rich, in order to live this great
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life, it had to look like somebody else's false, absolutely false. Every
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single time, it will be false. Learning that and understanding that has also
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been a freedom bell for me. I can ring the bell of freedom to
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say I don't have to fall for that anymore. I know the truth about
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me. So this last one is I think back to years ago when I
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was in college. I remember being so stressed. Out about final exams.
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I mean, I was so stressed up, so stressed up. This might
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have been my senior year of college, and you know, everything's critical,
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everything's urgent, everything's important. Those credits count, every everything counts. Like
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if you don't get this, you don't get that, you don't graduate.
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You know, it's just a lot. There's a lot going on and whatever
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the case, maybe it was finals, and I just remember being so stressed
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and I called my mom, and her best advice to me has lived with
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me forever, forever and ever and ever. And she literally said, scream.
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I had said this whole monologue about this and tests and blah blah blah
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and whatever I said. And she said to me, scream, yell,
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shout, and I stop myself in my vocal tracks, right, And I
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said what? And she said, I want you to scream. I want
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you to scream as loud as you can. Put the phone down and scream
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as loud as you can, yell, shout whatever you need to do.
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And that that was the first time my mother had ever said that to me.
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I never felt growing up that I was able to express myself in that
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kind of way. I was never given permission in that sort of way to
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express myself. And all of a sudden, I'm on the phone long distance
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with my mother and I'm screaming, and I'm screaming and I'm screaming. I
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don't think we said much after that. I think she said she loved me
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or something like that, but there wasn't a lot of conversation after that.
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That was the conversation. I want to encourage you to start to allow yourself
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to feel. It was a thing that I had never actually been taught until
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that moment on the phone in college senior year, I had never been taught
24:44
to feel. I had always held my emotions back. And I'm not going
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to say that day I graduated from the school of feeling, but I certainly
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I picked up the lesson. I don't know if I took it right away,
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but I remember it. It was memorable and that was enough for that
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moment. Well, I've been picking that up and not that I'm going around
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town screaming or screaming in my household, but I do give myself permission to
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feel. So many of us have been taught, and me as a Caribbean
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girl, there's part of that culture that you know, you don't feel anything.
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You just do. You get through, you move on. And so
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I just carry that with me. I carried that into my life. I
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carried that into relationships. I carry that into my marriage. I didn't allow
25:37
myself to feel if I was angry or hurt or whatever. I just like
25:41
just sucked it up. But my enriched life is telling me that it is
25:45
okay to feel. I should allow myself to feel, to cry, to
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scream, to yell, to get those things out, because if you don't
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get them out, they're gonna bog you down. If you don't get them
26:02
out, you're not going to find internal peace because inside you want to cry.
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Inside, you're probably crying, you're probably screaming inside because trust me,
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the energy that you want to give out, it's going to find its way
26:15
through in and through you. And so how can peace exist when there's screams
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happening all on the inside, when it's just tears falling and wailing. It
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can't exist. So I let it out out of my being so that I
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can have the peace inside, so I can be at peace inside, so
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I'm not falling to pieces on the outside. Like I said, a very
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important lesson, and it may not sound like the traditional what is being enriched,
26:55
but that's why I do this. That's why I bring these topics up
27:02
because I want you to get out of thinking what the world has made you
27:07
believe. You need your own truth, your new truth, and it's going
27:14
to start with you making and defining your rich life because I'm still learning,
27:23
defining, tweaking what it means for me to live my enriched life. I
27:33
hope you enjoyed this week's episode of the Your enritz Of podcast, and the
27:38
only way I'm gonna know this is if you leave me some feedback. Feedback
27:41
is a gift it is free to give. I want to know what resonated
27:45
with you with this episode, but for starters, I want you to leave
27:49
a rating. Five star ratings are welcome, and how you leave a rating
27:52
is in the platform in which you listen to this podcast, Follow the stars
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and leave a rating. You're leaving a rating is important because it allows other
28:04
potential listeners to find the r in risk sell podcasts, and I appreciate you
28:10
doing that in advance. You can also, in advance send this podcast to
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your friends and family right from the app in which you're listening to. You
28:18
can share and share it to someone right now who needs to start defining their
28:25
enriched life. Also cast me on the socials. You can find me on
28:29
Instagram. Instagram is my jam, It's where I am. You can find
28:33
me at my Enriched Self that's m y E N R h E D s
28:37
E l F. Hashtag this episode, hashtag mind Youself, youurin Risks of
28:41
podcast. We absolutely want to hear from you, and we want to let
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the people in the social streets know what you're listening to, what's helping you
28:49
become more of your in risk self and the best version of yourself. I
28:55
want you to check out all the details in the show notes. I have
28:57
the affirmation of the week, the quote of the Week, as well as
29:02
ways you can contact me. I also have a link to the Show Up
29:08
Everyday Journal and the Show Up Everyday Notebook. Check those out on my Amazon
29:12
storefront. I believe those are all the announcements for the week. More to
29:18
come in the next coming week, so stay tuned. And finally, I
29:22
want you to take what you can from this episode and do what you must
29:26
in the next one hundred and sixty eight hours to become more of your enriched
29:33
self, until again