Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Cuddle Con Co-Op

Transcript

Phone Tap: Cuddle Con Co-Op · Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It's Brook and Jeffrey in the morning time for your
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: prank call, and today we reach out to the mother
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: of a young bar Mitzvah boy. She's booked an event
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: space many many months in advance, like you're supposed to,
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: and they're excited for the big celebration coming this weekend's
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: but she's going to get some unfortunate news from the
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: people at the hotel. Apparently they're going to have to
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: share the space with another group. But they're a really,
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: really welcoming bunch. You're going to find out who they
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: are in your brand new phone tap right now.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Brooking Jeffrey's phone taps on the twenties. Hello, Hi, I'm
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: calling from a grand hotel in Sweets.
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: My name is Mike, Mike rophone.
• 0:44
  Speaker 4: How are you I.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: I'm doing well? Is this Emma? Am I reading that? Barkley?
• 0:53
  Speaker 4: Yes you are, thank you. Asking looks like we have.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: You booked in ballroom D for this weekend to celebrate
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: your son passing away.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: What I'm so sorry for your loss.
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: No, no, no, no no, no, he's having a bar Mitzvah.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, somebody wrote it in the notes wrong.
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah, he's not dead. He's turning thirteen.
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: Okay, you know what, that makes this even better?
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So what's the reasons for this call?
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: Right? So can I ask how many guests are you having?
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: We're having about eighty.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: Okay, I had down eight, which I thought was a
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: little low for a funeral.
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: It's not a funeral.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: Oh and now I know that now, but before you know,
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: never mind, So you have eighty eight zero people in
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: the ballroom?
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: Eight zero. Yes, we have eight zero people in the ballroom.
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: Is that a problem?
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: I don't think so.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: The reason for my call is that another group was
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: also booked in that space and they said that they
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: are totally fine.
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: No, I specifically booked that ballroom for the day of
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: my son's bar mitzva Uh huh. We should get it.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: And you are, along with everyone attending Cuttlecon.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: What did you say, cuddle con The convention happening at
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: the same time is as the bar Mitzvah.
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, no, no no. We are not
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: sharing a space for my son bar Mitzvah with something
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: called Cuddle Khan or whatever the hell this is.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: Okay, I get that you don't want to share the room. No,
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: but Cuddle Con is a highly respected event where former
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: perverts have found a safe space in society.
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: I want to make sure I'm hearing this right. You
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: want a bunch of reformed perverts to share a space
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: with my son for his bar mitzva.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: I'm just saying when I was that age, I could
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: have used a good cuddle instead, I wore out one
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: of my dad's old gym socks.
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: What the actual hell? I want to talk to your
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: manager right now.
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's not going to do you any good.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: He's part this what I think his official title is
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: Grand Puba of the Cuddle Puddle.
• 3:07
  Speaker 4: Oh why doesn't that surprise me?
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: Well, that's how we got this all booked last minute.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: So thank you so much for being okay with sharing
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: the space with him.
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: We are not sharing the space with your perverted boss
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: and his friends reformed pervert reminders. I don't care. I
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: don't care.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: You'd be able to meet him. No, well, his name
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: is Spencer the Spooner. You can tell who he is
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: by his smooth hands.
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: This is not happening on the day of my son's
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: bar Mitza. Over my freaking dead body.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: Right now, it sounds like you could use a good
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: cuddle and you know, release the stress.
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: No, no, no, you do not need to be explaining
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: to me why I need to be okay with this.
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: This is a huge no.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: So you're saying no to cuddle con but yes to
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: the phone tap that's happening right now with the radio
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: show Brick and Jeffrey in the Morning.
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: What is your problem?
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: You're the real freaks. They're the morning show. Who does
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: those prying phone calls? You know like this one?
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: What? Yeah, you're on the radio right now.
• 4:06
  Speaker 5: This is all's eight from the radio show Brook and
• 4:07
  Speaker 5: Jeffrey in the Morning, and we're doing a phone tap
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: on you. This is all set up by your sister Avery.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: Oh sorry. She said the bar bits.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: Of the planning has been stressing you out and that
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: you could use.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: A laugh, but you're not. You're not laughing.
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: My god. I am just shocked. I'm absolutely shocked.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: I thought you handled that pretty well for someone going
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: from eighty people in their own room to only eight
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: people sharing with an entire cuddling convention.
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: Just for my own sake, I just need to confirm
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: there's not going to be any weird reforms cuddling people.
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: No, not unless you invite me. So then you got
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: a little cuddle monster on your hand.
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: Got here, Ella, Isa. I think we're at Max's capacity
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: with eighty, but oh thank you.
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: You know I can never get an invite to a
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: bar mitzvah. So weird.
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: I wonder why
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: Stroken Jeffrey's phone taps on the twenties