Latest / #BeMoreLobster / If your life feel uncomfortably Deja Vu here's why

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If your life feel uncomfortably Deja Vu here's why · #BeMoreLobster

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: In last week's episode, we talked about what it really meant when you're telling yourself that you were running out of time to make it in your business, when you're letting yourself believe that you're behind or that you don't have enough time.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I told you some reasons why I believe that's a lie.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: And in that episode, I said to you that I was going to teach you my mirror frame concept today, on this episode.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you haven't listened to last week's episode, I really would recommend that you do it because it's going to give you another layer of understanding as I take you through this tool today.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're ready and you might want pen and paper for this, just if you're like me and you're very visual, this really helps to write it down and see it in front of you rather than just hearing it through your ears and letting it land in your brain.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: So go grab that, grab your brew, and let's dive right in.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: This tool, this framework that I teach my clients.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: And inside my inevitable program, I actually say that if you was to only use this tool out of all the other ones that are in there, like it would change your life.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: And it wouldn't just change your life in the future, it would change your life today.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: And as I start to explain it to you, you're gonna really get an understanding of why that is true.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: So let's dive straight in.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm gonna imagine right now that you did run off and get yourself a pen and a piece of paper.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: And what you're gonna do is in the middle of that piece of paper, you're gonna write the word present or now or here, like what however you however you describe for yourself like the your current reality, the present.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: And that's in the middle of your piece of paper.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Now, to the left of that, at some distance from the word, you're going to write the word past.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to just notice for yourself right now that when you think about time and you think about being here in the now, that the concept of the past is at some distance in a direction away from your body.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Many people describe the past as feeling like it's behind them.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then also people will describe it as being to the left of them.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the easiest ways to kind of get this concept in your own brain is to say, if I was thinking about a holiday that I went on a few years back, like where does it feel like it is in relation to my body?
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like, so for me, it feels like it's behind me.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: Conversely, oftentimes when people think about the future, they often think that it feels like it's out in front of them, right?
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes to the right of them.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: And that they are not the only answers, like people have their own, very own set timelines.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: But for this particular exercise, we're going to assume that the past is to our left, just for a visual reference point.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now, we've got two words.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: We've got the past and we've got the present.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: And the first thing I want you to notice is that the present reality that you have, your life right now, is the cumulative effect of all of the choices and decisions and actions and beliefs and morals and values and experiences that you have had up until now.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: Does that make sense?
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Your reality right now is the product of who you have been up until now.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the other thing that I want you to notice as well is that how you view the past also determines how you feel in the now.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: If you're looking back down your past timeline, like I spoke to in last week's episode, saying it's taken me this long to get here, therefore it's going to take me this long and more to get there.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Or you're telling yourself you've wasted time, or you're blaming yourself for decisions that you've made, or you're holding grudges against somebody for something that they did 10 years ago, like whatever it is, how you frame the past for you is going to determine an element of your reality right now.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Does that make sense?
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: So, what I want you to do is I want you to put an arrow from the from the present to the past and an arrow from the past to the present to let you know that there's this two-way interchange going on.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: That right now your reality is a product of who you've been up until now, and also that how you feel and frame that feel about and frame the past is determining how you feel in the now.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: Great.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: I know you're with me.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's the easy part done, believe it or not.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: So now we're gonna kind of move on.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: So now to the right hand side of the page, in line with the past, in line with the present, to the right hand side, you're gonna write future.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: And does it make sense to you?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Can you understand and take on the fact that if nothing changes, as in if you don't change, if nothing changes for you from this moment on, your future is going to be a reflection of your past.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because if your past is created where you are today and you change nothing, you're literally just holographically putting your current situation out into the future and making that manifest.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: So you're actually putting your past into your future.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Does that make sense?
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: And the the caveat they want to say to this is, and I've heard this from every single coach and mentor that I've ever worked with, you'll read it in personal development books and all the things, is that actually when we say nothing actually changes and you create the same reality from the past into the future, whilst on the outside things don't change, on the inside lots of things can be changing.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: So if you feel, I don't know, resentful right now, in another year, you can add another 10% on that resentment, another 20%, 30%.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like the the hard emotions or the the crappy emotions can amplify resentment, fear, overwhelm, disbelief, like they can just keep you know um exaggerating, amplifying.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't do anything different with your health, right?
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: And and let's just assume that you're let's I'm gonna just make an assumption right now that you're not maybe you're not doing the working out, maybe you're not eating as well as you should, maybe you're drinking too much alcohol, you're smoking, or whatever, just for a reference point.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying you are, I'm just I'm just saying this to prove a point.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't change anything in your health, we know, as an example, particularly for women, like we start to lose muscle mass as we get older.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: From actually from the age of 30, we begin to lose muscle mass.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: So if we don't change anything, we are naturally going to put on weight because our metabolic rate isn't as high.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: If we don't change anything, then what's going on on our insides?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: If we don't change anything in our relationship, if we start, if we take our relationship for granted and we don't put in the in any effort, it might not go wrong, but it might not be great.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: So do you see what I'm saying?
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's that whole thing of even if things are great now, if you don't choose to focus on the things that really matter for you, there's a good chance that things will like they'll stay the same, but the feelings around them might get worse or invisible things are happening that you can't see until it's too late.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: So if you put the future and you look at the future and you say, okay, if nothing changes, my future is actually a reflection of my past.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you to draw like a big rainbow, an arc, from the past right over to the future to let you know that if you don't change, that's what you're creating.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe that's great.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've loved the past, maybe you love the present, and maybe you're like you're all out for the future.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: So this isn't like a blame, shame, or judgment opportunity, it's just a reflection opportunity.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now, here's where it gets super interesting, in my opinion.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: We said before that how you think about and frame your past is going to have an impact on how you feel and show up for your life every day in the now.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: If you can look down your past timeline and be thank you for the wisdom, thank you for what I've learned.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: That was really tough, and here I am, or like I'm grateful for all the people.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if you can find a way to frame it, like it's gonna create a different reality for you today.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: So when we think about the future, I want you to notice again that how you feel about your future also determines how you feel today.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: And this is gonna become very, very important in a minute.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Now, what I notice with a lot of business owners is that they are catastrophizing the future.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: What if I never make it?
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: What if this launch fails?
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: What if I can't hold on to this money?
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like, because some people think that it's all about like getting to a certain salary.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm in a mastermind right now where there's people making um millions or hundreds of hundreds of thousands and knocking on to a million and they're panicking about how they can keep making it.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: So if you haven't created somatic safety and expanded your identity for greater money, it will always never feel like enough.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: You'll always be tracing it.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: People forget that part.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: But but back to the catastrophizing, like it'll never work.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm taking too much time.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, you know, I don't know how it's taken me this long.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: What if this launch fails?
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: What if no one buys this thing?
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: What if no one, you know, comments on my social media post?
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: What if no one listens to my podcast?
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like all of the things.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: And when we get into that state and we're catastrophizing our future, it changes our frequency, it changes the electromagnetic field like in our brain and our heart.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: It changes how we feel about today.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: And when it changes how we feel about today, that act that sorry, that energy actually impacts, it either dilutes or amplifies the action that we take.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm going to come to that in a second.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: But I just want you to hold in your brain and your body right now that how you frame and hold the future also determines how you feel and show up today.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you now to draw an arrow from the future and curve it and bring it up to the present.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: So you've got like a half rainbow, if you like, a smaller rainbow.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the reason that this is so important is because what I know about so many business owners is that they work their freaking asses off.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: They will work really long hours.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: They are brave and courageous, they go out there and they do great shit with in the world.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: And what they don't do either because they don't know about this yet, or because it isn't tangible enough and they don't have trust in it yet, or it feels completely unsafe to take this on the truth, is that not all action is equal.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: In other words, there could be 10 people in a room, 10 people following the same strategy, the same business strategy to grow their gram, or uh I don't know, upgrade their prices, or get their next 10 one-to-one clients, like whatever it is.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: And nine people will fail.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: And there'll be one person that gets the goal.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: They are not special, there is not some ethereal being out in the universe going, oh yes, she doth deserve.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: You lot, you gotta up your game a little bit.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's not happening.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: What's happening is that person is holding a frequency and energy of sufficiency, of belief, of um, I don't want to use the word enoughness, but like I'm gonna have to because I can't think of another one.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like, they're not letting their results determine how they feel about themselves as a person.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: They're letting things be data, they're going all in because they have this level of sufficiency and belief.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: They're not gonna let something external determine how they feel today.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: They become a scientist to the strategy.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: But we're in a world right now that just goes, oh, just buy this thing for like$99, or buy this£47-pound product, or la la la.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: And like this strategy will save you.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: It freaking won't if you don't have the energy and the and the identity that holds sufficiency, that holds nervous system regulation, that holds the growth journey, that can increase your capacity to feel hard emotions, do multiple things at once, not make things mean things about yourself.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: So, action is either diluted or amplified by the energy in which you take it.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot tell you how true this is.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: I waxed lyrical about this for years, and I'm gonna be totally honest with you.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like I knew the theory, but I worked with a mentor a few years back that said there is a difference between knowing and understanding.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: I can know how to ride a bike by by reading about it, but I don't understand it until I've ridden a bike.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: So conceptually I knew all these things, but because I had such a high energy of not believing in myself, of um lack of self-worth, I guess, for for a for want of a better phrase, where I didn't have the identity, like I still was showing up as like a housewife with a hobby, or you know, um, I was really heavy in the identity of well, I was a single parent and I claimed benefits, so I can't go do this thing.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like that shit dragged me around with me for a long time.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it was only when I lost my dad that I was like, okay, I'm doing this different.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna keep doing this.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: If I can't do this different, I'm closing my business down and I'm gonna get a job.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I went all into my identity, and it has been transformational.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm on for my best year yet, and it's happening quicker and with more ease and with more fun than I could ever have imagined, especially like five years ago.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I'm done, I can't do this anymore.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: So when you are prophesizing or sorry, catastrophizing a future reality, you're literally just going, oh, let me do all this extra hard work for not a lot of impact.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because you know what?
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like the frequency that I'm emitting from me, like the bat signal, is saying to the matrix, the universe, bring me more of this low-level crap.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then you wonder why things aren't working.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: So you can see now it's a bit of a double whammy.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: If you're holding the past as a filter for what you're what's capable, what you're capable of or what's possible for you in your future, then you're catastrophizing the future and saying it's gonna uh take a long time, which means that every day right now, you're scrambling to find some space in your brain where you can be like, I can believe in myself, I can do this, and it feels very empty, and it's taking longer, not because you can't do it, but because you're literally making that manifest with the energy that you're holding.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: So when you use this tool, everything changes today.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: So, what I want you to notice that if around if you I now want you to draw a line, one line directly up from the word present, and one line directly down from the word present, and on the top line, I want you to write frame, and on the bottom right line, I want you to write mirror, and here's where it all comes together.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: The frame through which you live your present is the mirror of the reality that you are going to live today and in the future, and at any given point you can choose a new frame.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: At any given point, you can choose a new frame, and that has to become your practice, it has to become the thing that is your priority.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna have to deal with the fact that like you really wanna be doubling down on strategy, and I'm not saying strategy doesn't work because it absolutely does, but if you've been focused on strategy for three years or more, maybe even less than that, and you don't have the results you want to show for it, is there is there is an identity issue, there's a there's a frame issue, and then and the reality that keeps getting mirrored back to you is because of the frame that you're holding.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: So go use this tool, choose a different frame, anchor into different physiological states, choose different thoughts, regulate your nervous system, shake that crap out.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like whatever you've got to do, you do it.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: This is the work I do inside my inevitable program.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's really, really powerful.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: I can't promise you it'll take you seven days.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's never gonna take seven days, FYI.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: I can't even promise it's gonna take you like three months.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: But if you believe in your business, you're willing to play the long game.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: And let me tell you, the long game gets a lot shorter when you do this work.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, my friends.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you enjoyed this session.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think I'm just aware that I didn't even have my mic plugged in.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: So the audio might be a little bit dodge, but here we are.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: We're not perfect, are we?
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: And that's okay.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: Have a great week, and I'll see you again in the next episode of the Be My Lobster Podcast.