Latest / Libido Lounge / IS Erectile Dysfunction Ruining Your Love Life? With Caitlin V

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IS Erectile Dysfunction Ruining Your Love Life? With Caitlin V · Libido Lounge

0:00
In The United States.
0:01
Forty Percent of men in their forties, 50 percent in their fifties, 60 percent in their
0:05
sixties, 70 percent in their seventies.
0:07
I don't think it needs to be this way.
0:09
I also think that doesn't take into account that there is a growing number of young boys
0:13
and men who are dealing with erectile dysfunction because of their relationship often
0:16
led by their relationship with porn.
0:18
A lot of couples just don't address it, and this is, like, where sex ends.
0:22
This is, like, where intimacy goes to die in their relationship.
0:25
It's been said that masculinity is made out of mojo, money, and muscles.
0:30
Well, I am sex and relationship coach Caitlin V.
0:34
I have a YouTube channel with about 900,000 subscribers, and I am the host of Good Sex on
0:40
HBO Max.
0:42
There are many ways for you to feel confident in partnership.
0:47
There are many ways for you to provide pleasure.
0:49
There are many ways for you to have a beautiful and expanded intimate relationship with your
0:54
partner that do not require you to be hard.
0:58
We we are so fortunate to have the bodies and the abilities and the capacities that we do
1:04
today, but we are so misguided if we assume that we are gonna have them forever.
1:09
If you are in your forties and you're getting hard most of the time, 90% of the time.
1:17
You may actually and so your ability to get and stay hard is related often to the circumstances
1:24
in your life in which your body wants to
1:26
so prepare yourself that that that and know that change Hey, everybody.
1:32
Quick break on our episode to talk to you about our sponsor, My Libido Doc.
1:37
One of the things that we truly believe is that great sex is available to everyone, but we just
1:44
have to learn how.
1:45
So head over to our site to get your free copy of our ebook, five steps to mind blowing
1:54
orgasms and romance.
1:56
Get the quick and easy tips to turn your sex life around, rev up your engines, and fall in
2:03
deeper love and passion with yourself and your partner.
2:07
So if you just go to mysexdoc.com, you will find that e book there for download.
2:14
Now back to our show.
2:15
Hey everybody.
2:17
Welcome back lovers, lovebirds.
2:19
Welcome back everybody to another episode of The Lounge.
2:23
I'm your host, libido expert, Doctor.
2:25
Diane, and I'm thrilled about our guest today.
2:30
As you just heard about, Caitlin V is just a breath of so much knowledge, and we are
2:36
focusing on ED and performance anxiety.
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We're not just focusing on the men today, we're also focusing on how their partners can show up
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and navigate this process with them, help support them, help stay connected during this,
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and so much more.
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So, thank you for being with us today, Caitlin.
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Thank you for bringing all of your expertise to our audience today.
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My pleasure.
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You so having me.
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Okay.
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So let's start kind of picture.
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So when somebody is, say, just starting with knowing that something is not working
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correctly, when they're suspecting maybe it is a level of ED Mhmm.
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Where do people start?
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Where do the men start, and where do the partners start at the very beginning to kinda
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kick off the process of overcoming this and of bringing their personal and their sex life back
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into balance?
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Where do we start?
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Well, often they start with panic.
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And and that's that's totally fair and reasonable, and and if you find yourself in
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that situation, just know that you are not alone.
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There are plenty of resources and lots of experts out there who are here to support you.
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I recommend that everyone start with a actual physical, from a qualified medical health
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professional to give them an idea of what's going on internally.
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So let me back up even one step further.
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There are several places or indications that something is up, right?
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It could be that a man stops having erections when he is with his partner, when he's being
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sexual with another person.
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It could be that he starts having trouble getting hard when he's going to masturbate,
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when he's being sexual solo.
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And it could be that he notices a decline in his, overall, erection frequency, in the
4:28
mornings, right?
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He's not getting morning wood, as regularly as he was before.
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So if you experience any of those three, it's an indication that something should be looked
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at.
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We should we should be consulting with a professional and and making some changes.
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One important distinction I would make is that if you were only finding that you're not
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getting hard with a partner and you are getting hard when you're masturbating, or you are
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getting hard when you wake up in the morning, then it probably is not physical in nature.
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Right?
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Because your body is capable of getting an erection.
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But if you are not getting hard solo or first thing in the morning, go straight to your
5:02
doctor because a lack of erections and erectile dysfunction is one of the best and earliest
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signs of cardiovascular issues, of diabetes related issues, of something that is going to
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go far beyond what a coach or therapist is able to help you with and you've got to start there.
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In fact, not getting hard is one of the core reasons that men go to the doctor to begin
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with, right?
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Yeah, it's true.
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So that's typically the that's the right place to start but that's not the right place to
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stop, right?
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Even if you find that it is purely a physiological reason that is preventing you
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from getting erect, it still is going to have an impact on your partner, it's still going
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have an impact on your relationship, on your dating life.
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And so going to see a coach or a therapist or a sex expert of some kind after that is still a
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critical piece in taking care of yourself and planning for a future that's still gonna have a
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lot of pleasure and excitement and joy and connection in it.
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So then if a partner is involved, or like meaning like, okay, there is this erection that
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is working when it's masturbation, or the hard on's happening in the morning, and then they
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try to have sex with a partner, and that's when they're noticing it.
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So the partner's probably going to also notice in these scenarios, right?
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And I feel like so much of the time, this gets like shoved under the rug for conversation
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because, you know, it can be embarrassing.
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There can be a lot of, of like this almost emasculating type of feelings that can come up
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around this.
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So at what point when there is that awareness of like, oh gosh, this is only happening with
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my partner, at what point do men start talking to their partner about it, and and what do you
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recommend there?
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It's difficult for both men and for women in different ways.
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Right?
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And, you know, if you don't already have a baseline of great, vulnerable communication
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around sexual subjects with your partner, then this can feel like an enormous, insurmountable,
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like, burden that you are gonna have to deal with either alone or it's gonna require an up
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leveling of communication with you and your partner.
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And, yeah, it will, but I guarantee the results will be so worth it.
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Because if you can talk about this, you can talk about other things as well.
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Right?
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Fantasies, desires, challenges, obstacles, etcetera.
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So when it comes to addressing these things, with a partner, yeah, you're totally right.
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A lot of couples just don't address it.
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And this is like where sex ends.
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This is like where intimacy goes to die in their relationship.
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One of the things that I like to point to though is if you are getting hard in the
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morning and when you're masturbating and you're not getting hard with a partner, that's an
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indication that something is in the way.
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Right?
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We think about erections.
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I like to think about them as like a a a flow, like an energetic flow, a blood flow, a a flow
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of of health and well-being and vitality in your life and an indication that things are in
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flow.
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So if you're not getting hired with a partner, that's just an indication that things are not
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flowing there.
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Right?
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Often that's the result of maybe unspoken resentment.
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Right?
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Maybe something happened in the relationship even years ago that is still bothering you and
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you haven't expressed, you haven't worked out between you and your partner, but for you know,
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your twenties, your thirties, into your forties, you were able to kind of put put that
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aside and still get hard and still be virile in that way, And now your body's not supporting
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you so much in the same way that it was.
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And those things that are that are, you know, essentially plugging up the flow of love and
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energy and connection between the two of you are now also stemming the flow and the tide of
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your body being able to get and stay hard with your partner.
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And this is why I say it's also difficult for women too, right?
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Because sometimes men especially will have something go on in the relationship and there
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will be resentment or they will, you know, they'll push it down in favor of staying strong
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and silent and stoic, right?
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And so they don't address it and then later they're not getting hard and the woman is like,
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do you not love me anymore?
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Are you not attracted to me anymore?
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Because we were all raised that if a man is attracted to you, he'll just like spring up at
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a moment's notice and be able to stay hard and be able to ejaculate, you know, at the perfect
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time and all that.
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You know, it's a bill of goods.
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That's not actually how the bodies are designed to work, male or female.
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But it can be difficult for, a female partner who who isn't on the inside, can only guess
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from the outside, and can only support so much her man in figuring out what's going on, for
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him.
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Yeah.
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I think there's so much truth in that.
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I think it's so easy as humans for us to just make up stories, right?
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The brain just fills in information for things that we don't understand.
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So, you know, it's like a really important point to say, okay, well, if man's not getting
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hard, it's so easy for the partner to be like, oh, it's gotta be me.
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Right.
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And we just fill in the gaps for things that we don't understand, and it's true for everything,
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you know, so.
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And I think it's also a really good point to think that, hey, the more practice we get at
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having these hard conversations, and make them no big deal, the more we can talk about
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anything in- in life, you know, anything in life at all, and especially in the sex world,
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really helping with, actually talking about our needs, preferences, our fantasies, as you
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mentioned.
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So, that's like the silver lining, I think, this, is like, can be that that ground that
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helps flip people into, I guess we have to talk about this now.
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Right.
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And remember, don't have
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to jump in.
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You don't have to like eat the whole elephant in one go.
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Right?
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Like, hey, have you noticed this thing?
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I've also noticed this thing.
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We talk about that thing.
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Okay.
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Let's talk about that thing.
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Okay.
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How do we wanna talk about that thing?
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Okay.
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Let's let's make some traction here.
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Let's do this here.
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Let's schedule a conversation there, then let's schedule a follow-up conversation.
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You don't have to try to make up for a whole bunch of lost time in a single conversation.
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And if it is resentment related, bringing in a professional to act as a neutral third party to
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help you to have those communications and uncover what's been buried can be very helpful
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as well.
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Yeah.
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And I like what you're saying.
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It's almost like the rules of engagement.
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Right?
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Like, we're gonna have this conversation.
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How would you like this conversation to go and set up the framework for those conversations
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versus just like, I'm gonna jump right in and maybe throw in some shock value to something I
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wasn't prepared for.
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Right?
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We do this all the time in communication.
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We assume that this is kind of like communication and sex actually have a lot in
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common in this way.
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We kind of assume that they should just work for us.
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And if we just go in there and we just start doing it, we'll just figure it out and
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everything is gonna be fine and nothing is required especially not learning or setting
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things up in advance of jumping in and doing it.
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And communication and sex are the same in that way.
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We can learn how to do both of them better and the more that we talk about how we want to
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enjoy them, the better that they will go and we'll have, you know it's hard to know what you
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don't know with sex or communication.
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Fortunately, there are tons of resources and there are lots of experts available out there
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can help us to identify where there are skill gaps where we can improve, and can help us to
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develop the, the keen awareness that is required to do both of them very well.
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Yeah.
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And you're right.
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They're both areas too that we're not really taught how to do them.
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We're just thrown into life and be like, okay, well, there's just this inherent belief that,
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yeah, we're just born with these skills or something, and and that's like couldn't be
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further from the truth.
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So, what about like another thing that really happens, and I know all the men that are
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listening to this and are struggling with this, probably relate to this around, like, like, the
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confidence that goes down, and, like, that performance anxiety around, like, oh, crap,
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it's happening again.
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Here we go.
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And it's, you know, it's like almost like this self fulfilling prophecy of this vicious cycle
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that as soon as it happens once or even a few times, then I think it's like we can self
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create more of it.
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So, how do, how do men like begin to get out of that cycle that I think is inherent, you know,
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inherent part of this?
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Yeah.
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Well, and and it
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is so true that once you start your mind on the tract of this is how things are, I'm just
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pointing her, it's gonna happen again.
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Like if you if you really let your mind run away with those things, you are setting up an
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environment in which you are way more likely to continue to deal with these things, you're
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almost like calling it in by allowing it to continue to persist in your mind and and it's
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like a weed that takes root in the garden of your mind.
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You have to be willing to pull it out.
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Even if it continues to come back, continue to yank it out and plant something else in there
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that is actually empowering.
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That actually leaves you feeling that there's something that can be done about this.
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The confidence thing it's been said that masculinity is made out of mojo, money, and
13:52
muscles.
13:53
Right?
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That masculinity needs to be, like, constantly earned and created and proven, and some of the
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most common ways that men do that is through their physical body, through their ability to
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earn money, and through their the sex that they have with a partner.
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And it's true for if any of those three things gets taken away from you, your ability to earn
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money, your ability to exercise and work out and feel powerful in your body, or your ability
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to perform in the bedroom, that you may be dealing with a crisis of confidence.
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Right?
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So my first piece of advice to whether you're dealing with this or not is to make sure that
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you have multiple sources of confidence in your life.
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Make sure that you are not just reliant on on those three things that you have multiple
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identities and relationships and things that support you in a holistic way so that if you
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lose any one of the pillars of your life that you would not be left, you know, kind of just
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standing on stilts.
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Right?
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You wanna make sure that you are supported in all the ways that, that are that are gonna
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leave you feeling like you have more to rest on and rely on, and your identity is not just your
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ability to make money and provide sex and orgasms.
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That said, we may be speaking too late.
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You may already have been dealing with this, confidence challenge in, in in losing your
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ability to maybe get and stay hard or having that be, less certain or less predictable over
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time.
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And what I would say to you is there is a there are many ways for you to feel confident in
15:24
partnership.
15:25
There are many ways for you to provide pleasure.
15:27
There are many ways for you to have a beautiful and expanded intimate relationship with your
15:33
partner that do not require you to be hard.
15:37
They don't require you to get off.
15:40
They don't require you to perform in any particular way.
15:43
But it often when I say this to men, they, like, can't hear it right away because it it it
15:49
doesn't confirm and conform to what they have known about themselves and about, you know,
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what they've been taught or or considered to be standard, like typical normal sexuality for for
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maybe their entire lives.
16:00
And so they say to me like, look, Caitlin, it's easy for you to say.
16:03
You don't have a cock.
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Right?
16:06
But I will tell you that all of us are just temporarily abled at best.
16:11
Right?
16:11
We we are so fortunate to have the bodies and the abilities and the capacities that we do
16:16
today, but we are so misguided if we assume that we are gonna have them forever.
16:21
And women understand this inherently because we cycle throughout the month and throughout our
16:25
life, so we know that our bodies are gonna change.
16:27
But men, the first time that your body changes in a significant way, especially if it has to
16:31
do with your cock and your sexuality, can be earth shattering.
16:35
So prepare yourself and know that change is inevitable, your body is going to change, and
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then start to do the work of discerning where your confidence and groundedness and your self
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identity are coming from, and make sure that it's multiple sources, if you can before
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something changes in your body.
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And if it's already changed,
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then do that work now.
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I love this advice so much.
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And, you know, I think it also also is important to, like, normalize ED from a
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standpoint of this is so common.
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Right?
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I think it's so easy to feel like we're isolated on this island when anything for women
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or men, when anything happens in the sex space because people aren't talking about it.
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But if men live long enough, almost a hundred percent of them are going to have some level of
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ED, you know, come up in their life.
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It's like that normal.
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So I think just normalizing it too, and just like making it non taboo is so important.
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We should
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I Go ahead, We should also qualify what we mean by ED.
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Yeah.
17:43
Because it depends on who you ask, what percentage of the time that you go to get hard,
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if you do not get hard, qualifies as erectile dysfunction.
17:52
Like, you know, are you getting hard 75 of the time that you go to get hard?
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Are you getting hard 90% of the time that you go to get hard?
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Are you getting hard 50% of the time that you wanna get hard?
18:04
So not all of these will qualify for erectile dysfunction, and it depends on, you know, whose
18:10
definition you're going based off of, like, the Masters and Johnson definition, which is, far
18:15
more forgiving than more current, more contemporary definitions of erectile
18:20
dysfunction.
18:21
But, like, you are in your forties and you're getting hard most of the time, eighty, ninety
18:29
percent of the time, you may actually not really qualify as someone who has erectile
18:33
dysfunction.
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The stats are pretty damning in The United States.
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Forty Percent of men in their forties, 50 percent in their fifties, 60 percent in their
18:41
sixties, 70 percent in their seventies.
18:43
I don't think it needs to be this way.
18:45
I also think that doesn't take into account that there is a growing number of young boys
18:49
and men who are dealing with erectile dysfunction because
18:51
of their relationship often led by their relationship with porn.
18:55
Hey, everybody.
18:55
Quick break on our episode to talk to you about our sponsor, My Libido Doc.
19:00
One of the things that we truly believe is that great sex is available to everyone, but we just
19:07
have to learn how.
19:09
So head over to our site to get your free copy of our ebook, five steps to mind blowing
19:18
orgasms and romance.
19:20
Get the quick and easy tips to turn your sex life around, rev up your engines, and fall in
19:27
deeper love and passion with yourself and your partner.
19:30
So if you just go to mysexdoc.com, you will find that ebook there for download.
19:37
Now back to our show.
19:39
But it doesn't have to
19:41
be this way.
19:41
You do not have to be a statistic along those lines.
19:44
And also, if you are dealing with this, you're you're not alone.
19:48
You're actually in the majority.
19:49
It's just that maybe these things aren't being discussed by the men closest to you.
19:54
So then I'm curious because I I talk about the same thing when it comes to the topic of low
19:58
libido, right?
19:59
So if we look at low libido in the medical definition of hypoactive sexual desire
20:03
disorder, and how we define that for somebody to get that diagnosis is so subjective.
20:09
It's basically saying, you know, reporting that you have a low sex drive for six months.
20:13
Well, low according to who?
20:15
So, my question for you is like similar then in like the ED world, like, with stats that are
20:20
all over the place, right, and it not being clear from that standpoint around like, okay,
20:26
well, truly, what are the percentages?
20:28
How often do I have to have a hard on in order to be classified as ED?
20:32
What do you recommend men look out for from a standpoint of like, oh, this is, you know, this
20:37
is not happening, like, hardly at all.
20:39
It's just this random, you know, fluke here or there.
20:42
Like, where is that line where men should say, this is actually a problem.
20:47
I should talk to my doctor.
20:48
I should talk to my partner.
20:49
I should look into this.
20:50
Where where is that line?
20:52
I would say when it happens, not the first time it happens.
20:56
Right?
20:56
Because you are human and not a machine, and your body is going to be have its ups and downs
21:02
and ebbs and flows.
21:03
But if it becomes a continual pattern of not being able to get hard when you regularly
21:09
expect to be able to get hard, including, very importantly, masturbation and in the morning.
21:15
Now you don't have to wake up with an erection every single morning.
21:17
You have to be best case scenario, you are getting hard throughout your sleep.
21:23
Sometimes just like you wake up in the middle of the dream.
21:25
Right?
21:25
Sometimes you the dream completes before you wake up.
21:27
Same with erections.
21:28
Sometimes you wake up in the middle of the erections.
21:30
Sometimes the erection was fifteen minutes ago, now you're conscious.
21:32
But if you find that over time, you are not getting erections when you expect them to, And
21:37
with a partner, if it is becoming an issue for you, that, I think that is a good enough reason
21:43
to go and start working on addressing it.
21:45
And that doesn't mean addressing it with a prescription.
21:48
Right?
21:48
Prescriptions are great.
21:49
Little blue pills is very powerful, very, very potent and important piece of medical
21:54
technology.
21:54
Very glad that it exists.
21:55
But I also think that a lot of doctors turn to that immediately, instead of doing any of the
22:01
deeper work and and asking, like, you know, first of all, what is going on on a
22:05
physiological level, but also what's going on in emotional and mental and even a spiritual
22:09
level.
22:10
Are you very stressed at work?
22:11
Did you just lose a parent?
22:12
Are you caregiving a sick child?
22:13
Like, these are reasons that your body isn't getting hard, and these are very valid reasons
22:18
for your body not to get hard.
22:20
I mean, remember your ability to get an erection, an erection is nothing more than a
22:24
bridge for your DNA.
22:25
Right?
22:25
And so your ability to get and stay hard is related often to the circumstances in your life
22:31
in which your body wants to procreate.
22:33
Yeah.
22:34
You know, we we we are so focused on what erections mean today in our, like, modern
22:39
world, and not what they meant for the four hundred thousand years of homo sapiens sapiens
22:43
bleeding up to today.
22:44
Yeah.
22:45
It's such a good point.
22:46
It's such a good point.
22:47
I think what I hear in that too is an element of, if you're feeling like this is a problem,
22:53
if it's like impacting your life and this is coming up over and over again, well, yeah, you
22:57
know, find out and get medical help.
22:59
And even with our little blue pills, I think there's an element of, back to your original
23:04
point of talk to your doctor, figure out what's going on.
23:07
Could this be a cardiovascular disease?
23:09
Even if we're taking a little blue pill to help with the erection and do that acutely, it's
23:14
still not lending us to understand physiologically what is out of balance and
23:18
potentially could be a bigger problem than just what's going on with the cock.
23:22
Right.
23:22
And we see and and the and Vagra Cialis, the PDE five inhibitors, they don't work for
23:27
everyone.
23:28
They are not stronger than your mind, right?
23:31
So a lot of the times I, I work with men who are like, well yeah, I have a lot of resentment
23:35
for my wife, but I don't understand why Vagra doesn't work.
23:37
It's like, because sex dreads in your brain.
23:39
None of these pills give you an erection.
23:41
That's not how they work, right?
23:43
They're a PDE five inhibitor.
23:45
PDE five is what breaks down blood that is already in an erection.
23:50
In other words, what they do is they stop an erection from going away.
23:53
They do not start an erection.
23:55
A lot of people have that experience.
23:56
I think that's just like the placebo effect.
23:58
They feel like it's easier to get hard.
23:59
No.
23:59
No.
23:59
No.
24:00
It's just easier for blood to stay.
24:02
Right?
24:02
So if your mind isn't willing to put blood in your cock to begin with, you're not gonna get
24:06
an erection to begin with.
24:07
Right?
24:08
The the and of course you can build up a tolerance to them over time.
24:13
Some men experience a lot of the side effects.
24:16
They're they're not well received by all bodies, right?
24:19
It's they're not they're not a They're not a cure, right?
24:23
They are an option, and I think that they are a lovely option, but we want you to be able to
24:30
use those as infrequently and as late in life as possible so that you can use them for the
24:38
length of and the duration of time that you actually, like, your body can really use them.
24:42
And up until that point, we want you to be able to kind of experience erections and
24:48
ejaculations and the whole thing on your own.
24:51
And I've also seen them to, like, create problems in partnership sometimes with women
24:56
feeling like, okay, well, the pill was used, we have to have sex, and now I'm committed to it,
25:00
but not now I can't listen to my own body, and now I feel the pressure, and it can create this
25:05
You know, there's like a point to them, but it can also create this intensity that way and
25:10
have the impact on, you know, female counterparts.
25:13
So so now, other things like P Shot and GainsWave and all these other types of, you
25:19
know, tech that I'm sure people are reading about?
25:21
Mhmm.
25:21
Do you advise those things, or what are your feeling on some of those other those other
25:25
techno technologies?
25:26
I think, you know, it really depends on the person who I'm speaking to.
25:30
I have had clients who had really great results with GAINSWave.
25:35
I've had clients who married PRP with their GAINSWave treatments, and saw increased
25:45
veininess or what they experienced is increased hardness in their erections.
25:49
For me, are treatments that are best left to men as they age.
25:54
I think that men who are initially experiencing like a slight decrease in tragidity and
25:59
hardness, like this don't you don't necessarily need to just jump to, a lot of intense and
26:05
expensive medical options unless you have the disposable income to, like, mess around with
26:11
those things.
26:14
But I think that there's a sort of a movement culturally in The United States right now, and
26:19
we just saw, you know, the largest medical malpractice suit ever awarded.
26:24
Biggest number ever awarded was against New Male, Men's Health Clinic, when they, you know,
26:30
injected a man with a Trimix or something similar to that and gave him a sixty hour
26:34
injection, which caused his penis to become entirely scar tissue, and he was awarded, you
26:38
know, upwards of 420, 4 hundred 50 million dollars.
26:41
But they're running this scam on a lot of people.
26:43
Right?
26:44
And they they these these companies benefit from the lack of vulnerable and open
26:50
conversation that men have about these things.
26:52
And so they come in and they promise medical treatments to support the things that you feel
26:57
insecure about in order that you might be more confident, and so you're spending money in
27:03
secrecy often trying to buy confidence instead of you know doing the the less sexy and more
27:12
long term work of working with someone like me who's a coach or doing your research on YouTube
27:17
or reading you know or like the the doing the deeper internal work, the reflecting, having
27:22
the hard conversations, like, totally less sexy, takes longer, is free a lot of the time
27:28
we're working with a coach, not free, but like a lot of those resources, like the self
27:31
reflection part is totally free.
27:33
Learning how to communicate better, you can pretty much do for free.
27:37
That's what's actually gonna give you long lasting results and permanent results, at least
27:42
until, like, your physical body gives out, and I think it's worthwhile to explore those first.
27:46
Yeah.
27:47
It sounds like there's, in your opinion, some level of benefit in certain situations, but
27:53
tread carefully and cautiously and ask questions, and don't just jump in because
27:57
somebody is promising you this thing that may not need anything that is as, you know, intense
28:04
as some of these other treatments.
28:05
Yeah.
28:06
One of my favorite things about working with men in particular is that, like, they're
28:09
usually very eager to do the work.
28:11
Yeah.
28:11
Like, they're very and I, you know, this is true for women too, but men have they have a
28:15
distinct flavor.
28:17
They're often like, yeah, throw me in coach, I'll figure it out, I'll do anything like, you
28:21
know, I'll try it, I'll read the book, I'll watch the videos, I'll watch the course,
28:26
whatever it is.
28:27
And that is why I know that they fall victim to these sort of empty promises out of shame, out
28:40
of a desire to keep, to keep up appearances out of a fear that they can't be vulnerable or, you
28:48
know, reveals that they're not really machines to their lovers and partners.
28:53
And that's how companies can end up taking advantage of you before or, you know, selling
28:58
you things that you don't really need or want that don't actually support your long term
29:02
health and your longevity.
29:04
Yeah.
29:04
And such good advice.
29:06
And we're gonna talk about so you guys, we're gonna film part two here in a second, and we're
29:11
gonna tell you how to access part two.
29:12
In part two, we're gonna talk about support for the women, and how women can support their
29:17
partners during this.
29:18
But I wanna make sure before we wrap up and tell everybody how to get part two, that we
29:23
talk about your work and your course on Hard As You Want, because it sounds like like that's a
29:30
really great place for people to start, and for men to start to begin to repattern this.
29:36
So what does that course involve?
29:38
What does it entail?
29:39
What do people learn?
29:40
Can you
29:40
tell us about it?
29:41
So after almost a decade of working with men on this, I decided to put my methodology into a
29:46
video course.
29:48
And that course is called Hard As You Want.
29:49
It is like very much a masterpiece, you know, kind of the capstone for all of this work.
29:53
And I'm actually working on a book right now that is based on the Heart as You Want course,
29:57
but you can watch it in video format.
30:00
And what it does is it takes you through the different layers that make up your erection and
30:05
your erection health.
30:06
So we start with the physical layer.
30:08
I do I give you all the background information that you need, a cheat sheet to take to your
30:11
doctor to make sure that you are testing all of the because it's like, what's the difference
30:15
between testosterone and free testosterone and sex hormone binding hemoglobin?
30:19
Like, there's a lot.
30:20
So it walks you through what to do on a physiological level, and then we go through the
30:25
emotional body.
30:26
So it walks you through what to do on a physiological level, and then we go through the
30:30
emotional body, the mental body, the relationship, even all the way up to the
30:35
spiritual body.
30:36
And along the way, there are guided exercises, and there's homework, things for you to take
30:41
home and print out and keep track of, so it makes it very very easy for you to not just
30:46
identify what the cause of your erectile dysfunction or erectile flow issue is, but also
30:50
what to do about it.
30:52
And the reason that this is so important is when I sat down to write the course, I sat down
30:57
and wrote a list of every single reason that a man had ever come to me with erectile
31:02
dysfunction, like what the underlying situation was, and I came up with 45 different causes
31:08
that I had seen in my years coaching of ED, which is more than just, you know, what we've
31:14
discussed here.
31:15
And and and when I broke it down into, like, physical, emotional, mental, spiritual,
31:21
relational, social, and spiritual, and kind of put those in a hierarchy, and made it a lot
31:27
easier for men to really pinpoint what was going on.
31:30
Okay.
31:31
Amazing.
31:32
I am so excited to get everybody in this course, and it sounds just completely thorough,
31:37
and you really have thought through every aspect of how to to help relieve this, down to
31:44
how to be an advocate.
31:45
I think so many people with their doctors are just not asking, they don't know the questions
31:49
to ask, So the ability to advocate and to teach people how to advocate to get the right test to
31:55
ask those questions is just so wonderful.
31:58
So thank you so much for bringing that information.
32:01
We're gonna put that in the show notes, you guys.
32:04
The libido club information is where you will find part two with Caitlyn.
32:09
I'm so excited about part two, you guys.
32:11
So you'll find information about that in the show notes.
32:14
And is there anything else that you want to leave us with today?
32:18
Any final concluding thoughts that you have?
32:21
Yeah.
32:23
I wanna say that it's it's not all hard work.
32:26
No pun intended.
32:28
The results that you will get from approaching erections, ejaculation head on, the results
32:39
that you can really get, they I want you to think about them more like an on ramp onto a
32:47
freeway.
32:49
For some people, that on ramp is a relationship that is sexless.
32:53
For some people, it's losing some form of their ability through injury early on in life.
32:58
But all of these on ramps lead to the same freeway.
33:01
And this is a freeway where you can experience more pleasure, more self expression, more
33:08
satisfaction, more closeness, more security in the relationships that matter most to you.
33:15
And even if it occurs to you at first, like, it's gonna be difficult, and I'm not saying
33:19
that it will never be difficult, but it actually can be really fun, and the results can
33:24
really speak for themselves.
33:26
Thank you.
33:27
Thank you.
33:27
Thank you so much for being here with us today, and for this wealth of knowledge, and thank you
33:33
everybody for listening.
33:34
Remember, please don't keep us a secret.
33:36
Please share this with anybody that you think needs this information.
33:40
We gotta get this information out there.
33:42
It's just so necessary to stop making this so taboo.
33:46
So thank you everybody for listening.
33:47
Thank you for Caitlin for being here, and we will see you guys soon on another episode of
33:52
The Lounge.
33:53
Take care.
33:54
Thank you for listening to the Libido Lounge.
33:59
Please don't keep me a secret.
34:00
Please share this with your friends.
34:02
You can find me on YouTube, on Instagram, as well as how to work with me at MyLibidoDoc.com