Latest / Parent's Talk with Francine Juhlin / Episode 8: Your Body Knows Best _ The Hunger Scale Secret
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: The kid wanted a happy meal for so long and
- 0:02Speaker 1: they finally get it. And then they make sure they
- 0:04Speaker 1: eat every last bit, even though they're already full. Hello,
- 0:10Speaker 1: welcome to Parents Talk. Today we have Shelly Haas here
- 0:14Speaker 1: with Eastpool Eating. And last time she was on Parents Talk,
- 0:19Speaker 1: we talked about all the different childhood experiences programming that
- 0:27Speaker 1: we get when we're kids that we carry on into
- 0:30Speaker 1: adult life that cause us to be unhealthy. Well today,
- 0:36Speaker 1: we're going to be talking about something that is on
- 0:39Speaker 1: everybody's minds these days, healthy or unhealthy eating. And Shelly
- 0:47Speaker 1: is going to talk about a hunger scale, which is
- 0:51Speaker 1: something that she uses not only with adults, but with
- 0:55Speaker 1: children too. So Shelly, can you explain what the hunger
- 1:00Speaker 1: scale is and how you use it in your program?
- 1:06Speaker 2: So the hunger scale is really just a visual tool
- 1:10Speaker 2: that supports my clients in learning to listen to their
- 1:13Speaker 2: body in one way. Learning to listen to your body
- 1:16Speaker 2: is something that most of us are not taught. And
- 1:18Speaker 2: it's a big part of my work. And there's a
- 1:20Speaker 2: lot of different ways we can listen to our body
- 1:22Speaker 2: when it comes to food. One of the main most
- 1:26Speaker 2: important and kind of beginner ways to start learning to
- 1:30Speaker 2: listen to our body is with this hunger scale. And
- 1:34Speaker 2: really it's all about listening to your hunger and fullness cues, right?
- 1:39Speaker 2: So many people are used to listening to, I don't know,
- 1:42Speaker 2: the rules were handed telling us when and what and
- 1:44Speaker 2: how and how much we should eat versus tuning into
- 1:47Speaker 2: our body. How hungry am I? When am I hungry?
- 1:51Speaker 2: When am I feeling satisfied and full? So that we
- 1:54Speaker 2: can actually eat according to what our body's asking for.
- 1:58Speaker 2: Eating it when it's hungry, not waiting until we're absolutely ravenous.
- 2:03Speaker 2: And then stopping when we're comfortably full rather than what
- 2:07Speaker 2: many of us often do is eat to a point
- 2:10Speaker 2: where we feel uncomfortable. Right?
- 2:12Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 2:16Speaker 2: Okay.
- 2:17Speaker 1: I get all of this, but Something that really helps
- 2:22Speaker 1: drive the message home is when we tell stories. So
- 2:26Speaker 1: can you tell a story about your client, Jane, and
- 2:30Speaker 1: her grandson, Brandon? Because you told me this story and
- 2:34Speaker 1: I'm like, whoa, every parent needs to hear it.
- 2:38Speaker 2: So Jane was going through my program and it's a
- 2:41Speaker 2: group of women. And every week we have a live
- 2:43Speaker 2: call and every week we celebrate what our wins are together, right?
- 2:47Speaker 2: Because that's so important. And so Jane came to the
- 2:51Speaker 2: group session one week and we had been focusing on
- 2:53Speaker 2: listening to our hunger and fullness cues. But the hunger
- 2:57Speaker 2: scale is just this scale of like red is ravenous
- 3:01Speaker 2: and like starving and then just growling, hungry, neutral, satisfied,
- 3:11Speaker 2: and then it goes into overly full, bloated and nauseous, right?
- 3:15Speaker 2: So there's this whole scale of hunger. So Jane decided
- 3:18Speaker 2: that to help her focus on listening to her body
- 3:21Speaker 2: in that way. She printed out the hunger scale and
- 3:24Speaker 2: she just hung it on her pantry door as a
- 3:27Speaker 2: cue for her to remember to check in with her body.
- 3:31Speaker 2: So Jane had a grandson and this grandson was quite overweight.
- 3:38Speaker 2: He was really struggling with food. His parents were doing
- 3:42Speaker 2: the best that they could. They were, they were doing
- 3:44Speaker 2: what they knew how to do. Right. And so, So
- 3:48Speaker 2: they were impressing on him, everything they had been taught
- 3:51Speaker 2: about food, which was, we need to restrict the sugar.
- 3:54Speaker 2: We need to restrict all the snacks. So we need
- 3:56Speaker 2: to kind of control and monitor his eating and making
- 3:59Speaker 2: sure he's not eating too much. Right. So it was
- 4:03Speaker 2: all focused on restriction. And it was getting really troublesome
- 4:09Speaker 2: and really emotional for the whole family. And what Brandon
- 4:12Speaker 2: started doing was stealing all kinds of snacks from the pantry.
- 4:17Speaker 2: And he would bring them up to his room and
- 4:19Speaker 2: hide them so that he had a whole stash of
- 4:22Speaker 2: food for whatever he wanted to eat when nobody was
- 4:25Speaker 2: around to judge him or tell him not to do
- 4:27Speaker 2: it or anything. And it's so common in our lives too, right?
- 4:32Speaker 2: When we try to go on the restrictive diets, our
- 4:35Speaker 2: brains are brilliant. When our brains think that food is scarce,
- 4:40Speaker 2: it kicks back and it backfires because our brains try
- 4:43Speaker 2: to protect us. So whenever we try to really restrict food,
- 4:47Speaker 2: Our brain obsesses about food, right? The same thing that
- 4:51Speaker 2: happens to us as adults in restrictive diets was going
- 4:55Speaker 2: on with Brandon. His parents were doing what they thought
- 4:58Speaker 2: they should be doing for him, which was restricting food,
- 5:01Speaker 2: monitoring his food. And they were actually just about to
- 5:08Speaker 2: put a lock on the pantry so that he didn't
- 5:11Speaker 2: have free access to it. Now, Brandon was like eight
- 5:13Speaker 2: or nine because he didn't know what else to do. Right?
- 5:18Speaker 2: So Brandon came over to visit his grandma Jane for
- 5:21Speaker 2: the weekend. And she had her hunger scale hung up
- 5:24Speaker 2: on the pantry door and he asked her about it.
- 5:27Speaker 2: He's like, what is this grandma? And so she sat
- 5:30Speaker 2: down and she explained it to him. She explained how
- 5:33Speaker 2: she was learning to listen to her body when it
- 5:35Speaker 2: came to food and how she felt like sometimes she
- 5:39Speaker 2: overate and ate past fullness or ate when she wasn't
- 5:43Speaker 2: hungry for other emotional reasons. And she explained to him
- 5:46Speaker 2: that having this hunger scale printed out was a visual
- 5:50Speaker 2: reminder for her to check in with her body and
- 5:53Speaker 2: how hungry she was and when she was full. And
- 5:56Speaker 2: they went through the whole thing together. And so she's
- 6:00Speaker 2: sharing this inner group call. And she starts tearing up
- 6:07Speaker 2: as she's telling the story. And she talks about how
- 6:10Speaker 2: she just witnessed everything in her grandson soften. His body
- 6:15Speaker 2: language softened, his face lit up and they had this
- 6:21Speaker 2: whole conversation around how he could do that too. He
- 6:25Speaker 2: could learn to listen to his body and check in
- 6:29Speaker 2: when he's hungry. He nourishes himself because that's what his
- 6:34Speaker 2: body wants and paying attention to stopping when it's full.
- 6:39Speaker 2: And it gave him this whole sense of autonomy. Where
- 6:46Speaker 2: he got to be in charge of when and how
- 6:51Speaker 2: and what and how much he ate in an empowering way.
- 6:57Speaker 2: In a way where he had a tool to utilize.
- 7:01Speaker 2: And so she shared this with his parents. They hung
- 7:08Speaker 2: up the hunger scale on their pantry door and they
- 7:12Speaker 2: never had to put a lock on the pantry again.
- 7:15Speaker 2: And so not only did grandma's relationship with food change
- 7:19Speaker 2: through going through the program, but the ripple effect that
- 7:22Speaker 2: it had for her grandson and her family was tremendous
- 7:27Speaker 2: because we can all imagine how if things had continued
- 7:33Speaker 2: the way they were, the kind of relationship Brandon might've
- 7:36Speaker 2: had with food the rest of his life, right? And
- 7:40Speaker 2: I've got to tell you that I believe there was
- 7:44Speaker 2: about eight women in the Zoom room when this story
- 7:46Speaker 2: was shared. There was not a dry eye in the room.
- 7:51Speaker 1: I remember being in Brandon's position, being on Weight Watchers
- 7:57Speaker 1: and never being, I mean, yes, I had plenty of
- 8:02Speaker 1: food to eat, but it wasn't what I wanted to eat.
- 8:08Speaker 1: It was, and it's not that it was just healthy.
- 8:12Speaker 1: But back then, the Weight Watchers snacks weren't good. And
- 8:20Speaker 1: I wanted what the other kids were eating. But then
- 8:26Speaker 1: I was torn between people pleasing, losing weight and getting
- 8:31Speaker 1: the rewards, or getting what I wanted. And having what
- 8:39Speaker 1: the other kids were having, whether it be hot dogs
- 8:41Speaker 1: or ice cream or cake at a birthday party instead
- 8:44Speaker 1: of carrot sticks and celery sticks or Weight Watchers ice cream,
- 8:49Speaker 1: which was horrible back then. And that turmoil of not
- 8:58Speaker 1: knowing which way to go, do I get what I
- 9:01Speaker 1: want or do I please everybody who's trying to help me?
- 9:06Speaker 2: Right.
- 9:07Speaker 1: Right. So I could imagine everyone in your group who
- 9:12Speaker 1: probably went through that same stuff. So why did you
- 9:17Speaker 1: think everyone was crying? Because that's why I feel like
- 9:21Speaker 1: I would have.
- 9:24Speaker 2: I think it was a myriad of reasons, because we
- 9:27Speaker 2: all have such different experiences in the ways that the
- 9:32Speaker 2: things that were impressed upon us as children via things
- 9:38Speaker 2: like Weight Watchers as kids or something similar to Brandon's
- 9:42Speaker 2: story or even being chubby as a kid and being
- 9:46Speaker 2: teased and having that be deep trauma down to, you know,
- 9:52Speaker 2: there's been so many influences that we've had, whether it
- 9:57Speaker 2: be around the food specifically or around body shape and
- 10:01Speaker 2: size and weight and things that adults said to us
- 10:04Speaker 2: as children. And There was long, lots of conversation after this.
- 10:10Speaker 2: And the conversation also went to a lot of emotions
- 10:14Speaker 2: around the ways that women in the room, most of
- 10:18Speaker 2: the women in the room were older. If they had kids,
- 10:21Speaker 2: they'd already raised kids. They had nieces and nephews. And
- 10:25Speaker 2: really recognizing how some of the kids in their life
- 10:30Speaker 2: were impacted by that, whether that was influences they had
- 10:34Speaker 2: put on their kids unknowingly before they knew better, ways
- 10:40Speaker 2: that they witnessed maybe nieces and nephews being influenced by
- 10:44Speaker 2: their parents and just really empathy. The tears were about
- 10:49Speaker 2: empathy because they could all connect different stories in their
- 10:53Speaker 2: life to the story that Jane told.
- 10:56Speaker 1: I think that is really part of the power of
- 10:58Speaker 1: a group program is sharing these stories and knowing that
- 11:04Speaker 1: you're not the only one who has gone through this.
- 11:07Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. And you know, the other
- 11:11Speaker 2: piece to that is that especially as women, we just
- 11:17Speaker 2: are such inherent caregivers, right? And we just want to
- 11:23Speaker 2: take care of the people around us and love them
- 11:26Speaker 2: and do the best by them that we possibly can.
- 11:28Speaker 2: And so, So oftentimes the women I work with, they
- 11:34Speaker 2: want to make changes for themselves with food so desperately, right?
- 11:40Speaker 2: And that motivation is there. And when they bring in
- 11:45Speaker 2: another layer of, oh, this also just isn't about me.
- 11:51Speaker 2: This is also about me breaking those being a playing
- 11:54Speaker 2: a part and breaking those generational patterns. where I now
- 11:58Speaker 2: know since I'm doing, if I'm doing this work, I
- 12:01Speaker 2: know that I'm not, I'm going to be aware of
- 12:04Speaker 2: how I'm affecting the kids around me. I'm going to
- 12:06Speaker 2: be aware of the things that I'm saying to the
- 12:08Speaker 2: kids around me. I'm going to be aware of the
- 12:10Speaker 2: things I'm saying to myself about food and body when
- 12:14Speaker 2: I'm around kids, because I want to be helping to
- 12:18Speaker 2: break those generational patterns rather than continue them. And so
- 12:23Speaker 2: for a lot of women, when they really tune into that,
- 12:26Speaker 2: the work the personal work that they're doing around healing
- 12:30Speaker 2: their relationship with food and with their body, when it
- 12:33Speaker 2: extends and they realize how much it benefits the young
- 12:37Speaker 2: people in their life too and like has a ripple effect,
- 12:40Speaker 2: there tends to be more motivation because we want to be,
- 12:44Speaker 2: you know, good role models. We want to be a
- 12:47Speaker 2: positive influence in the young people in our lives, right?
- 12:51Speaker 2: We don't want to pass on things that were passed
- 12:54Speaker 2: on to us that we still struggle with as adults.
- 12:56Speaker 2: We want to do better. We want to create a
- 12:58Speaker 2: better ripple effect. So I know that that's part of
- 13:02Speaker 2: the emotion too. Their why behind doing this work expanded
- 13:07Speaker 2: beyond themselves.
- 13:09Speaker 1: And another thing that really struck home with me was
- 13:13Speaker 1: putting a lock on the pantry. My husband and I
- 13:18Speaker 1: have been watching the sitcom comedy, Mike and Molly. It's
- 13:22Speaker 1: about an overweight couple, and they met at Overeaters Anonymous. Well,
- 13:30Speaker 1: they're needing to lose weight because they're going through fertility treatments,
- 13:36Speaker 1: and they really need to zero in their diet. So
- 13:40Speaker 1: they go and start throwing away everything that's bad for them. Mm-hmm.
- 13:48Speaker 1: And the way that backfires is they have the ability
- 13:51Speaker 1: to go out into the world. Like Mike goes out
- 13:54Speaker 1: for breakfast with, he's a cop, goes out for breakfast
- 13:57Speaker 1: with his partner every morning. Well, throwing the stuff away
- 14:00Speaker 1: at home doesn't help them make the right choices at
- 14:03Speaker 1: breakfast time. Or, you know, Molly going out with her
- 14:07Speaker 1: sister and her mother drinking and then they get a
- 14:09Speaker 1: big plate of nachos. Throwing the stuff away at home
- 14:14Speaker 1: doesn't help making the right choices when you're not at home.
- 14:18Speaker 1: So tell me, how else could that lock on the
- 14:23Speaker 1: pantry have backfired?
- 14:26Speaker 2: So I just, I always come back. I mean, this
- 14:28Speaker 2: could be a much bigger conversation, but I always come
- 14:31Speaker 2: back to this core understanding. And that is that our brains,
- 14:36Speaker 2: our bodies are wired for survival. our reptilian part of
- 14:41Speaker 2: our brain, right? It is wired to protect us and
- 14:44Speaker 2: to survive. So there's all kinds of subconscious things going
- 14:48Speaker 2: on in our brain that we don't really recognize. And
- 14:52Speaker 2: the bottom line is, is that when restriction is introduced,
- 14:58Speaker 2: Our brain thinks food is scarce. If our brain thinks
- 15:02Speaker 2: food is scarce, it thinks we are in danger. So
- 15:05Speaker 2: what is it going to do? It is going to
- 15:06Speaker 2: keep its eye out for any opportunity for food, which
- 15:10Speaker 2: is why when we get restrictive with food, We tend
- 15:14Speaker 2: to obsess about food is all we think about.
- 15:16Speaker 1: Right.
- 15:18Speaker 2: And so finding some balance, you know, having the like
- 15:24Speaker 2: when we go too restrictive and say, oh, we can't
- 15:27Speaker 2: have any of that. I can't have any of that.
- 15:29Speaker 2: I can never eat cake again. I can never eat
- 15:31Speaker 2: donuts again. I can never have pancakes again, whatever it is.
- 15:34Speaker 2: When we go to that extreme, it creates this internal
- 15:37Speaker 2: conflict because our brain's trying to protect us and we're
- 15:40Speaker 2: trying to control the part of our brain that's really
- 15:42Speaker 2: much wiser than us, right? So locking, putting a lock
- 15:47Speaker 2: on the pantry door is, it's like, it's the forbidden
- 15:52Speaker 2: fruit effect. You're saying you can't have anything in this
- 15:55Speaker 2: pantry unless we, you know, it's creating, it's introducing control.
- 16:00Speaker 2: Rather than introducing autonomy and learning to listen to your
- 16:04Speaker 2: body and finding balance and knowing that you can have
- 16:08Speaker 2: the donut sometimes, but we don't eat donuts every day
- 16:11Speaker 2: because we're probably not going to feel very good. Right?
- 16:13Speaker 2: Like having, finding that balance and really, you know, kids
- 16:20Speaker 2: are so much smarter than we give them credit for.
- 16:24Speaker 2: so often they can soak in and understand things so
- 16:28Speaker 2: much more deeply. And I think that when we hand
- 16:32Speaker 2: them the power and the tools and the knowledge and
- 16:36Speaker 2: the autonomy to make some of their own decisions, they
- 16:41Speaker 2: feel empowered and they want that, right? So in this case,
- 16:47Speaker 2: Brandon felt like he got some autonomy back he got
- 16:51Speaker 2: some individuality back he got a say in what he
- 16:56Speaker 2: was putting in his body but he was also handed
- 16:59Speaker 2: a tool to learn to listen to his body and
- 17:03Speaker 2: make choices that would do better by his body right.
- 17:09Speaker 1: I just made a video about choices today about reading
- 17:13Speaker 1: if your kid doesn't like to read because you are
- 17:17Speaker 1: giving them the books you think they should read Let
- 17:20Speaker 1: them choose because they have to build their confidence. So
- 17:27Speaker 1: if you think they should be more advanced or they
- 17:30Speaker 1: shouldn't read a second grade book when they're in the
- 17:32Speaker 1: third grade, let them read it. It's still reading, right?
- 17:37Speaker 2: There we go. So this is the hunger scale. So
- 17:41Speaker 2: it's really a visual tool. So What happens when we,
- 17:48Speaker 2: for all of us almost, when we wait until we
- 17:52Speaker 2: are absolutely starving, we're ravenous, our tummy's been growling for hours, right?
- 17:58Speaker 2: When we go to eat, when we are in this
- 18:01Speaker 2: red-orange area, we tend to inhale our food, we eat
- 18:05Speaker 2: too fast, we eat too much, we don't enjoy, we
- 18:09Speaker 2: don't chew our food, so then we don't have good digestion, right?
- 18:13Speaker 2: So we really want to aim to not wait this
- 18:17Speaker 2: long before we start eating, right? Ideally, we listen to
- 18:22Speaker 2: our body. We notice when we're hungry, when we're in
- 18:25Speaker 2: the yellow, maybe getting a little bit growly in the orange.
- 18:28Speaker 2: That's a good time to eat a meal. And then...
- 18:32Speaker 2: Come over to this side. We want to stop around here.
- 18:36Speaker 2: We want to check in with our body and notice
- 18:39Speaker 2: what does satisfied feel like? When am I satisfied? When
- 18:42Speaker 2: do I feel comfortably full? That's when we stop eating,
- 18:45Speaker 2: whether we have more on our plate or not, right?
- 18:49Speaker 2: We want to try to avoid getting too stuffed, bloated,
- 18:53Speaker 2: or some people will even eat to the point of
- 18:55Speaker 2: feeling a little nauseous, right? So this is just a
- 18:59Speaker 2: visual scale that gives you, our brains like visuals, right?
- 19:04Speaker 2: So it gives you a visual. And the idea is
- 19:07Speaker 2: to have this, first of all, remind you to start
- 19:09Speaker 2: checking in with your body. I guide my clients, and
- 19:13Speaker 2: apparently my clients guide their grandkids too, through first just
- 19:19Speaker 2: learning to check in with your body. What does... hungry, growling,
- 19:25Speaker 2: physically feel like, like get familiar with paying attention to
- 19:29Speaker 2: that specific sensation. What does it feel like when you're
- 19:32Speaker 2: ravenous or starving? Like what can you describe what that
- 19:36Speaker 2: feels like tuning in? And this is probably the most, um,
- 19:42Speaker 2: satisfied and full is the most, the one that women
- 19:47Speaker 2: I work with tend to really need to focus on. Like,
- 19:49Speaker 2: what does that feel like? Where is my comfortable stopping point?
- 19:53Speaker 2: Regardless of how many bites are left on my plate,
- 19:56Speaker 2: when does my body feel satisfied and what does that
- 19:58Speaker 2: physically feel like? So I can check in with my
- 20:01Speaker 2: body when I'm eating and I know when the right
- 20:05Speaker 2: time to stop is so that I don't get to
- 20:07Speaker 2: the point of like stuffed or feeling bloated or overly full.
- 20:11Speaker 2: It's a really simplistic, basic tool. And this visual is
- 20:16Speaker 2: just really helpful in guiding. So the idea is you
- 20:21Speaker 2: develop the practice of noticing when you're hungry. Aiming. We're
- 20:25Speaker 2: not going for perfection here. This isn't like a rule.
- 20:29Speaker 2: But we're aiming on starting to eat when we're kind
- 20:32Speaker 2: of hungry, neutral, even maybe a little bit growly. And
- 20:36Speaker 2: then we aim to stop when we're satisfied or full. And,
- 20:40Speaker 2: you know, trying to avoid starting waiting to eat until
- 20:44Speaker 2: we're starving. Because when we eat, when we wait till
- 20:47Speaker 2: we're starving, we often end up going all the way
- 20:50Speaker 2: to the other end. And we're like, oh, my gosh,
- 20:52Speaker 2: I just ate so much. I'm so bloated.
- 20:55Speaker 1: Right.
- 20:55Speaker 2: So that's the general idea. And for some people, I
- 20:59Speaker 2: have on here, too, another way of checking in with
- 21:01Speaker 2: your level of hunger and satiety is just using a
- 21:04Speaker 2: scale of 1 to 10 in your head. So, you know,
- 21:09Speaker 2: if that feels more simplistic for some people, just checking in, like,
- 21:12Speaker 2: put a number to it. Like, I'm creeping up on mealtime. Like,
- 21:16Speaker 2: am I getting hungry? What number hungry am I on
- 21:19Speaker 2: a scale of 1 to 10?
- 21:20Speaker 1: I think that would reach the left brain people.
- 21:24Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
- 21:25Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 21:28Speaker 2: Yeah. So that's it in a nutshell.
- 21:31Speaker 1: Okay. Now, you said that Brandon was about seven, eight
- 21:36Speaker 1: years old. How early can we start? I would think
- 21:41Speaker 1: as soon as they start eating baby food, start talking
- 21:45Speaker 1: about it. Make it a habit. Yeah.
- 21:48Speaker 2: I don't think there's an age too early. I mean,
- 21:49Speaker 2: I just I have a pretty firm belief that we
- 21:53Speaker 2: often underestimate what kids can understand and absorb because they're
- 21:56Speaker 2: absorbing so much subconsciously just by watching us and hearing
- 22:01Speaker 2: what we're saying to other people about what we're eating
- 22:04Speaker 2: and how we're eating in our bodies and stuff like that.
- 22:06Speaker 2: They're picking up all those subconscious things already. So why
- 22:10Speaker 2: not be start early and being intentional and talking with
- 22:14Speaker 2: them about it and also modeling that for them, right? Like,
- 22:19Speaker 2: saying out loud, oh, I'm comfortably full right now. I
- 22:23Speaker 2: don't think I need to eat the rest of my
- 22:24Speaker 2: plate because I don't want to be uncomfortably full or
- 22:28Speaker 2: I know that my body doesn't need to eat that
- 22:29Speaker 2: much food. So we can, even if someone thinks their
- 22:34Speaker 2: kid can't quite grasp the concept of the hunger scale,
- 22:38Speaker 2: you can still model it through your own behavior. The
- 22:40Speaker 2: best teachers teach by example, right?
- 22:44Speaker 1: Because Kids learn their bad habits from parents. So why
- 22:49Speaker 1: not model the good instead?
- 22:52Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. The best teachers teach by example. Kids absorb that. So,
- 22:57Speaker 2: I mean, I think every kid is going to be different,
- 22:59Speaker 2: but I think as soon as, you know, a kiddo
- 23:05Speaker 2: is learning to talk and be able to communicate those things,
- 23:08Speaker 2: you can start having those conversations in an age-appropriate way.
- 23:11Speaker 1: Well, babies are really good at communicating when they're hungry. Yeah.
- 23:16Speaker 2: Yeah, they are.
- 23:16Speaker 1: Well, and even full, even a breastfeeding baby will let
- 23:21Speaker 1: you know when they've had enough.
- 23:23Speaker 2: That's and that I so glad you brought that up
- 23:26Speaker 2: because we're born with those instincts. We're born following those
- 23:30Speaker 2: instincts of hunger and fullness. And somewhere along the way,
- 23:35Speaker 2: we've been told, no, you have to clean your plate
- 23:38Speaker 2: or you're not leaving the table or whatever. No, you
- 23:41Speaker 2: you are. I don't care if you're hungry. You can't
- 23:44Speaker 2: have a snack right now because you're going to ruin
- 23:47Speaker 2: your dinner.
- 23:47Speaker 1: Or that coveted happy meal. The kid wanted a happy
- 23:52Speaker 1: meal for so long and they finally get it. And
- 23:55Speaker 1: then they make sure they eat every last bit, even
- 23:58Speaker 1: though they're already full. Yeah.
- 24:01Speaker 2: Yeah. And then, and then that carries through. So we
- 24:04Speaker 2: learn as kids and, and there's no, I like, I
- 24:07Speaker 2: want to be super clear. There's like no shaming in
- 24:10Speaker 2: parents here. We are all passing on how we've been
- 24:13Speaker 2: taught to operate. We don't know what we don't know,
- 24:16Speaker 2: but for anyone listening, if you think about the messages
- 24:19Speaker 2: that you got as a kid around food, that's still
- 24:23Speaker 2: hanging out with you. Um, there's some things that could
- 24:27Speaker 2: benefit from being changed, right? Um, I mean, I can't
- 24:33Speaker 2: tell you how, like one of the most consistent things
- 24:36Speaker 2: that the women I work with really have to get
- 24:39Speaker 2: their head around is people who've been told all their,
- 24:43Speaker 2: as they were kids their whole life to finish your plate.
- 24:46Speaker 2: I don't care if you're full. I don't care if
- 24:48Speaker 2: you say you're full. You need to finish your plate
- 24:50Speaker 2: before you leave. Or no, you can't have a stack
- 24:53Speaker 2: right now. You're going to ruin your dinner. So, you know,
- 24:56Speaker 2: those things just were ingrained in us. So when I'm
- 25:00Speaker 2: working with women in this hunger scale and they're learning
- 25:02Speaker 2: to stop when they're comfortably full, it's like that leaving
- 25:07Speaker 2: that food on the plate, even in their, you know,
- 25:09Speaker 2: in their sixties or seventies, I've worked with women. I
- 25:12Speaker 2: still have a hard time leaving that food on my
- 25:14Speaker 2: plate because I was told the whole time growing up
- 25:17Speaker 2: that I have to finish my plate. How do I
- 25:19Speaker 2: throw that away? Or how do I just put that
- 25:20Speaker 2: in the fridge? So that's something that the women I
- 25:23Speaker 2: work with have to work. through, right? It's those messages.
- 25:27Speaker 2: And then as they got into adulthood, we tend to
- 25:32Speaker 2: do diets and plans and like, okay, I'm only supposed
- 25:35Speaker 2: to eat between these hours or I'm not supposed to eat.
- 25:38Speaker 2: I'm really, really hungry right now, but it's not my
- 25:40Speaker 2: time to eat yet. Or I'm really, really hungry right now,
- 25:43Speaker 2: but I don't have any more calories allotted for the day.
- 25:46Speaker 2: So we're, we continue to tune out our body's cues.
- 25:52Speaker 2: when we started life very much naturally listening to them.
- 25:55Speaker 2: So it's just a relearning. It's just coming back to
- 25:58Speaker 2: getting in the habit of learning to listen to your
- 26:00Speaker 2: body and trusting that it will guide you.
- 26:04Speaker 1: And I think also, if you think about it, it's
- 26:08Speaker 1: not only when you eat and how much you eat,
- 26:11Speaker 1: but what you eat. If you are starving to death,
- 26:15Speaker 1: like my husband, oh, I'm so hungry. And my sugar's low.
- 26:21Speaker 1: I need a Pop-Tart. Why don't you eat an apple?
- 26:24Speaker 1: At least there's some fiber in it. The choices you
- 26:29Speaker 1: make and what you eat matters too.
- 26:32Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure. Well, and that's a good part. And yeah,
- 26:35Speaker 2: there's so many different ways that we learn to listen
- 26:39Speaker 2: to our body in the work I do. And the
- 26:42Speaker 2: point that you make, my mind really ties it into
- 26:46Speaker 2: waiting until you're ravenous. Like that's one of the reasons
- 26:49Speaker 2: that it's not great to wait until you're starving until
- 26:54Speaker 2: you're so hungry, because not only do we tend to
- 26:57Speaker 2: eat too fast and too much in those moments, but
- 27:00Speaker 2: what do we choose? We tend to choose. I mean,
- 27:03Speaker 2: for me, it's always carbs. It's like, I just want
- 27:06Speaker 2: a huge sandwich or a pizza or something like that,
- 27:09Speaker 2: because it feels like when you're that hungry, it feels
- 27:12Speaker 2: like nothing else will satiate you. But like, something really
- 27:17Speaker 2: rich and heavy you know.
- 27:18Speaker 1: That's another good point say you're out running errands you're
- 27:22Speaker 1: out all day long and you're just starving to death
- 27:25Speaker 1: are you going to run into the grocery store and
- 27:29Speaker 1: grab a piece of fruit or are you going to
- 27:31Speaker 1: run into that gas station and grab a bag of chips.
- 27:35Speaker 2: Yeah yeah yeah I personally always keep a bag of
- 27:40Speaker 2: nuts in my car That's my go-to because nuts have
- 27:48Speaker 2: the protein and the fats and the carbs in. That combination,
- 27:53Speaker 2: a handful of nuts will tide you over for a
- 27:57Speaker 2: while so that you can get yourself home, make yourself
- 28:02Speaker 2: a meal, whatever that looks like for you. Me and
- 28:04Speaker 2: my girlfriend used to joke, I call them my emergency
- 28:07Speaker 2: nuts are always kept in the car.
- 28:10Speaker 1: Even a protein bar. they aren't the best choices because
- 28:14Speaker 1: they're still highly processed and full of sugar, but it's
- 28:18Speaker 1: still better than other choices. So the way I'm seeing
- 28:23Speaker 1: this is on the, like on the hunger scale, we
- 28:26Speaker 1: should have a scale of and rate our snacks.
- 28:31Speaker 2: There's that too. I mean, there's, There's different qualities of everything.
- 28:34Speaker 2: There's plenty of little protein snack bars out there that
- 28:38Speaker 2: have more simple, clean ingredients and a lot less sugar.
- 28:41Speaker 2: It's just a matter of making the choices of what
- 28:44Speaker 2: you want to keep around, for sure. Right.
- 28:46Speaker 1: Or when you run into that gas station, try to
- 28:50Speaker 1: make the best choice.
- 28:51Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, for sure. There's the Kind brand bars. They're
- 28:56Speaker 2: just those little nut bars. There's many of those that
- 29:00Speaker 2: only have four grams of sugar and about four ingredients.
- 29:03Speaker 2: And you can actually find those in most in a
- 29:06Speaker 2: lot of gas stations. So there are better choices out
- 29:10Speaker 2: there that you can make too. But yeah.
- 29:14Speaker 1: We've given everybody a lot to think about today.
- 29:17Speaker 2: We have.
- 29:18Speaker 1: I'd like to invite anybody watching this to give us
- 29:22Speaker 1: a comment. Tell us what you think. Tell us if
- 29:26Speaker 1: you have any questions that we could answer in a
- 29:30Speaker 1: future episode of Parents Talk. What did you think of
- 29:34Speaker 1: this episode? And have you subscribed to the channel yet?
- 29:40Speaker 1: Please do. Thank you so much, Shelly. I really appreciate
- 29:46Speaker 1: you coming and talking about this.
- 29:48Speaker 2: Thanks for having me on. I love talking about this.
- 29:52Speaker 1: We will definitely. I'm hoping we get a lot of
- 29:55Speaker 1: questions so you can come back on and answer the
- 29:57Speaker 1: viewers questions.
- 29:59Speaker 2: I would love that. I would love that. The more
- 30:02Speaker 2: questions I have from people, the more I can support
- 30:05Speaker 2: and I could have these conversations all day long.
- 30:07Speaker 1: So if somebody wanted to get in touch with you
- 30:10Speaker 1: and not wait for another video and they just wanted
- 30:13Speaker 1: to maybe get in your program or something, how can
- 30:15Speaker 1: they find you?
- 30:17Speaker 2: They can find me. We can drop my email address
- 30:21Speaker 2: in there. I have a website. I have a Facebook. Um,
- 30:26Speaker 2: so there's a lot of different ways you can connect
- 30:28Speaker 2: and contact me. And just for anybody who would be interested,
- 30:33Speaker 2: I am always, always open to just jumping into a
- 30:36Speaker 2: conversation because that's where we can really communicate and see
- 30:40Speaker 2: where you're at and get some clarity and see if
- 30:43Speaker 2: my work might be right. Um, a good fit to
- 30:46Speaker 2: support people. And if not, I have an amazing network
- 30:49Speaker 2: of people as well.
- 30:51Speaker 1: Yeah. So what's your website?
- 30:54Speaker 2: It's Shelly Haas.com. My last name is spelled H-A-A-S.
- 30:59Speaker 1: That's easy. Shelly Haas.com. Yeah.
- 31:03Speaker 2: And my program is called easeful eating.
- 31:06Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much.
- 31:07Speaker 2: It's been a pleasure. Thanks, Francine. Thanks for having me.