Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / WHATEVER IT TAKES 5/7: Behave Like Who You’re Becoming: Winners act like winners before the results show up. #FinishStrongFriday

Transcript

WHATEVER IT TAKES 5/7: Behave Like Who You’re Becoming: Winners act like winners before the results show up. #FinishStrongFriday · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Greetings and welcome.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the Sweet Spot, everyone.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Nice to see you here on Finish Strong Friday here at The Sweet Spot.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: As you know, on The Sweet Spot, we've been unpacking an amazing book this week.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: It Takes What It Takes by Trevor Moide.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: So we find ourselves here in episode 5 of 7.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Can you believe it?
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: We've come that far.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a board certified psychiatrist.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a sports psychiatry specialist.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: I work in high performance.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: More than that, I'm your teammate.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, your teammate in the game.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: This game we call life.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: And we're going for the win.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: With science, soul, and success as our engine.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's Finish Strong Friday, y'all.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to ask you something right out of the gate.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: How are you planning to finish this week?
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Are you tired?
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Are you feeling a little down?
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Are you feeling energized?
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: What state are you in?
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: And what are you gonna do to finish?
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: By now, if you've been listening to The Sweet Spot and you've been in this book with me, it takes what it takes, you're probably saying, Well, Doc, whatever it takes, I'll do whatever it takes.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: So you're not just trying to survive this week, you're not trying to coast through the day until five o'clock.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, you're doing more than that.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: You're doing more than that.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: You've learned, you've learned what everything we've built this week and what it takes.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, Monday, we got to neutral.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: We cleared the emotional flooding so that you could make the move on Monday.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Remember back then?
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: It feels so long ago, but yes, we made the move on Monday to neutral thinking.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: We said we're not gonna be stuck with negative thoughts.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna get to neutral and we're gonna ask the question, what do I do?
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: instead of how do I feel?
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Tuesday, we governed our words.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Remember?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we governed our words and we took action anyway.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: We did not negotiate with ourselves, we didn't renegotiate it.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Wednesday, win it all Wednesday, we defined what winning actually looks like.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: We were winning moment by moment, remember?
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: And Thursday, trust yourself Thursday, just yesterday.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: We asked who we're building towards, and we did the thing that our future self would thank us for.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: This brings us, sweet spotter, right here, right now.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: We've come full circle to Finish Strong Friday.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, the thing about Finish Strong Friday is that it's not about the biggest moment of the week.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: We're not about that, it's about the last moment.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: We're in the last moment, we're at the sort of getting towards the end of the marathon.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and Trevor Moad, the author, gives us the exact tool that we need.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Russell Wilson, who he worked with, the famous quarterback, right, described what working with Trevor Moad looked like.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: They worked together through a Super Bowl, a Super Bowl win, and a Super Bowl loss.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: So they felt the full spectrum together.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: They worked together and they felt the full spectrum.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: And what Russell Wilson came back with wasn't a strategy or film, it wasn't even about physical preparation.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: This is what he said.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: He said, What am I saying to myself?
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: What am I saying to my teammates?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: What language am I using today?
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: How am I writing the story?
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Trevor Moad helps me choose the best words.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now, Russell Wilson is one of the most accomplished quarterbacks in NFL history, and what he's talking about here is words and language, the story he's choosing to tell.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I sharing this with you?
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that is Finish Strong Friday in a sentence.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: You are writing how you're gonna finish today, right now.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: You're writing a story right now about this week, about yourself, about what's possible for you next week.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: And the author of this book, It Takes What It Takes, says you get to choose the words.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: This is what he writes.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: He writes, words are tools, they both predict and perpetuate performance.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Predict and perpetuate.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: Sweet spotter.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: What you say today about this week on Finish Strong Friday is already shaping next week.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's the thing.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's how it actually works.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's not inspiration, that is how memory actually works.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: You see, there's a principle.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Have you heard of this?
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: The peak end rule?
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's a principle in psychology.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's called the peak end rule.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: We don't remember an experience as the average of all of its moments.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: No, not at all.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: You know what we remember?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: We remember how it felt at the peak and how it ended.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's how the brain works.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: The ending of something carries the most weight.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: You remember how it ended.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like think of a movie or something, right?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: You always remember how it ended, or you remember the peak moment of the movie.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: So, whatever words we're using, however we're describing it at the peak, at the end, matters more than most people realize.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: Especially here on Finish Strong Friday.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: What we say really matters.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: The whole book, it takes what it takes.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: This book we've been unpacking all week really has been about what words we choose.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, the ancient wisdom never fails.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: The ancient wisdom puts it in a way that really makes sense, and it's very blunt.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: In Proverbs 18, verse 21, it's written, The tongue has the power of life and death.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: The tongue has the power of life and death.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's so powerful, and the neuroscience backs that up too.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's neuroscience before neuroscience had a name.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: The words you and I use to close this week, sweet spotter, are either putting life into Monday or quietly draining the life and energy out of it before it even starts.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I've sat with enough high performers to know this is a pattern and that this is real, and that the ones who sustain excellence over time get this.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: They understand it.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: They do not speak negativity into their world, they do not speak death over their circumstances.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they close out every week, every good week, rough week, or even an in-between week with the same level of care around what they say and how they describe themselves.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: They don't let Friday narrate itself.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: They narrate Friday.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Friday doesn't get to tell you who you're gonna be or what you're gonna do.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: You have that power.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: That power is in you.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: The author Moad writes, the decision to reduce, to eliminate, to get rid of negativity in your speech is completely within your control.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Completely within your control.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's not dependent on how things went, it is not even contingent on the outcome.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: The closing words on Finish Strong Friday are yours, they belong to you.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Toby Mack, the Grammy winning artist who spent decades building a career on the power of intentional life-giving language, put it simply and put it this way.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: When you choose to speak life, you bring hope to the darkest places.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, that's the power you have.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Speak life, speak light, speak positivity over it.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: Who wants to be around somebody that's always negative and always talking?
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: Don't those kind of people drain you?
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely they do.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: So here's your move, sweet spotter.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: I call it the three-sentence close, and we're out.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to do this one out loud with me.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, remember Tuesday, take action Tuesday, language spoken out loud is ten times more powerful than what you just think.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: So you can have the positive thoughts, but it amplifies when you say it out loud because guess what?
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: The universe is always listening.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Three sentences right now before Friday ends.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: One, name one thing you actually did well this week.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Not what you intended, but what you did.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself that credit.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: Your brain needs accurate evidence.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to be no false modesty here.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: You did something well, think it through.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: What did you complete?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: What did you get done?
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: Say it out loud.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: I got this done.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: Two, name one thing this week has taught you.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be profound.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: What do you know now that you didn't know on Monday?
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: What have you learned?
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: What insight have you gotten?
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: And say it out loud to yourself.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: Name one commitment.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: This is number three.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: Name one commitment for next Monday.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: One behavior, right?
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Said in in the I will get this done, not if I will get this done, or one behavior that you plan to enact on Monday.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: Those three sentences out loud.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: Just think it through.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: One thing you actually did well, one thing that the week taught you or that you learned, and one commitment you're gonna take action on and make a move on on Monday.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: Three sentences out loud.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: You're not just reflecting, you're writing the story your brain carries into the weekend and brings back next week.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: And when you think like this on a on a finish strong Friday, this is how you finish strong, sweet spotter.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're you're thinking about what you did well, and that's gonna give you energy.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: You're thinking about what the week has taught you, and that's gonna give you a sense of pride.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: You learned something, and now you're making a commitment that you're gonna take into Monday.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: You're already future oriented.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's right, and now you'll finish whatever you're gonna start, whatever you've started, right?
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: So, Moad, the author puts it this way: it's what's next that matters, not was.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's what's next that matters, not what was.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: What's next is the only thing you can still influence.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: And this, sweet builder, is the essence of this book, It Takes What It Takes, by Trevor Moad.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: That your next action is all that matters, it's the response that you have.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: So it happened.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, fine.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: What happens next is the most important thing.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: What do I do next?
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's not how I feel about what happened, it's about what am I gonna do next.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's what's next that matters, not what.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: What's next is the only thing you can still influence.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Control the controllables, as they always say.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: So if what's next is the only thing you can influence, influence it now.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: You've been listening to The Sweet Spot.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: This is Dr.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: It is Finish Strong Friday, and it takes what it takes.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: Tomorrow, sweet spotter, we're going in on self-care Saturday.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: And Moad, you also say something about recovery that most high performers are not even ready to hear.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: Recovery is not a break from performance, recovery is performance.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: Don't miss me tomorrow.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: I won't miss you.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: Let's do it.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: For science, for soul, for success.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: You're in this sweet spot.