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Transcript

Door Dash Deceit · No One Gets Hurt

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: You've never bought cocaine at 7 Eleven at 2 a.m.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: and it shows.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_04: That's correct.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_04: I have it.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: It fucking shows.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_04: I'm sorry.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_04: But it's one skillset I don't have.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: I listen up and no one gets hurt.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_05: Anyways, well, welcome back to another episode of No One Gets Hurt.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_05: Thanks for coming back.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_05: Tony, what's going on?
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: I uh, you know, today is September 26th.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_05: That's right.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: That means I've been home from prison for 10 years today.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_05: Wow.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_05: Well, congratulations.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_05: Happy anniversary.
• 0:48
  unknown: Yeah.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_05: A decade of freedom.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_05: A decade of freedom.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's way better than uh the alternative.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_05: And isn't it like something like that's a big thing to celebrate because most likely people that have been to prison like either go back or die?
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: The recidivism rate is like 80%.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, it's not good.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know that.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_05: Does like the judge or your defense attorney send you a little like anniversary card?
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_05: Like, good for you for staying out.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: Great job.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: A little gold sticker inside.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck no.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: If anything, they'll send me a bill or something.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: They want some money for something.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_05: Well, today we have with us a guest who is a thinker, a writer.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_05: She explores her thoughts through her writing.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_05: She's a comedian.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_05: I think that makes her a triple threat.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_05: She expresses herself if no one asks, but she's pretty sure no one asked.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_05: I'm certain that we're excited to have her here today.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_05: Paulina Perez.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_03: Hello.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_05: Hi.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_05: Hi.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for having me.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_05: Yes, welcome.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_05: Thank you.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_05: And the reason why I said pretty sure no one asks is because that's your Instagram handle.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: Is it?
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's fire.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's pretty sure no one asked.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's fi.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: And how did you come up with that?
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, well, to be okay, I had this little pencil pouch and it said pretty sure I'm pretty sure no one asked you.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I had started a Substack and I had made it this other name that just didn't feel like me.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I kept looking seeing at seeing that um pencil pouch, and I was like, you know what?
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's what it is.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's like me embodied in a phrase, you know?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_05: So And is that because you feel like no one asks for your opinion?
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, I feel like I'm very pretty opinionated and I like to just explore my thoughts.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: So sometimes I'll just go on a rat and I don't really even know where it's going.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just like, okay, no one asks for this.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_05: Well, we're asking for it today, so thank you.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_05: That kind of sounds funny.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_05: We're asking for it.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_05: Like, are you asking for it?
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_05: Like, you wanna wanna fight outside?
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: I'm never asking for it.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: I'm too old.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_05: Oh my gosh.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_05: So before we got recording, you're talking about duck hunting.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I've been doing that for a couple of years, but my family's been doing it for like forever.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I got into it like three years ago.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I duck hunt with my brother, and yeah, it's it's a lot of fun.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: It is a challenge, but um I feel like I enjoy the discomfort of it a little bit.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's pretty cool.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I disagree.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's an absolute tragedy that you are killing these ducks to make duct tape.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: Oh god.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'm over it.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: No, save the ducks.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: Duct tape.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: We need it for the glue.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_05: That's what makes us so strong.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_05: I thought that's how air conditioning venting works.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_05: Lots of ducks lined up.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_05: You don't have to laugh.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_05: It's okay.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_05: I'm used to it.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: No, but we do eat the duck meat that we kill, so yeah.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_02: I love duck.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's pretty good.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_02: Fuck yeah.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: We make duck jerky like if we get really lucky.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_05: It's my my dogs love duck jerky.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_05: They're little, they're little puppies, and they just I get like every once in a while.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_05: I get them not like one of they have different varieties of jerky.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_05: They love the duck jerky.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: Your dogs are bougie as fuck.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: What the fuck?
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: A thought bob was bougie.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_05: What kind of dogs do you have?
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, one is a Maltese Yorkie, and the other one is I know that dog stinks.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_05: No, no, no.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_05: And the other one is a golden doodle, like a mini size.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_05: Oh.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_05: And their names are Lincoln and Penny.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_05: Oh my gosh, that's the widest shit I've ever seen.
• 4:46
  unknown: Yeah.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_05: I think the names make sense.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_05: For Penny.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_05: Lincoln and Penny make sense.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_05: I mean C-E-N-T-S.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Uh coins.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Does make sense.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_05: Because Lincoln is on a penny.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's the most widest sense.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: So did you name them that specifically for that pun, or you just happen to stumble upon it afterwards?
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: So how this is important.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, how it works is we when we were originally going to get a dog, the dog, we were like, we're gonna get a girl dog.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_05: Like when it the opportunity would arise, we're like, we're gonna we're gonna get a girl dog.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_05: And we want we hope that she's kind of reddish color, you know.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_05: And then we happen upon Lincoln, who was not a girl, and he was a little reddish colored.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_05: So we're like, well, we can't name him Penny.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_05: That doesn't make sense.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_05: So what's okay?
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, Lincoln's on a penny, so we figured Lincoln would be a good name.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: And then yeah, because that's much more feminine.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_05: Lincoln?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_05: No, Lincoln's a boy dog.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe I'm I'm high and I dissociated.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what's going on.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_05: So we got a we got a boy dog.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_05: We wanted a girl dog, but we're yeah, so I thought you said the other way, right?
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_05: Maybe I did, I don't know.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_05: I no.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_05: We want we were hoping if the opportunity arose, we'd get a girl dog, but we the opportunity that arose, we got a boy dog.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_05: So we thought penny doesn't really go for a boy.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_05: I just didn't think so.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_05: And so I was like, oh, Lincoln's on a penny, so we'll go with Lincoln.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_05: And my husband and I are both attorneys.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_05: Lincoln lawyer.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, so sorry.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have a Lincoln like the Lincoln lawyer?
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, no.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: No, she's the Tesla lawyer.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: Oh electric.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I actually saw a sticker that said, like, uh, I bought this Tesla before Elon was crazy.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: But it was like on a BMW, and I was like, damn, they're misgendering this fucking BMW.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: And it was a pride flag too.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, damn.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: That's fucking funny.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: You do that as a bit?
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: No, no.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: Write that down.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, right, or yeah, like that, yeah.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I mean, I don't know.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_05: I just I don't like going to the gas stations, that's why I got a Tesla.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: What's wrong with the gas station?
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_05: Because I've been to a gas station before where like uh maybe an unsavory individual comes up and you're like out of your car.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_05: It just, you know, sometimes if it's late and you're trying to like get your gas in your car, and I don't know.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_05: I just I don't I don't like people asking me for money like while I'm trying to do something and I feel like I get you know um uh distracted.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_05: I just I don't know.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_05: I don't see it.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: You've never bought cocaine at 7-Eleven at 2 a.m.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: and it shows.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_05: That's correct.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: It fucking shows.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_04: No, I'm sorry.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: But it's one skill set I don't have.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: I could teach you.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_05: No, and I I just it's actually very convenient to charge the car at home.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_05: So only once in a while when I forget when it's like, oh no, but the Tesla superchargers are so quick that it's not that big of a deal.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_05: So I've had it for a long time.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_01: I would get high and forget and pull up to the gas pull.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_05: You don't want to do that.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_05: That would be bad.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_05: I've saved money on lottery tickets though.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_05: So that's the one thing I love about liquor stores or the uh gas stations is the quick picks.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_05: I just let's get a quick pick.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: Never works out.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and like three bucks.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_05: I know, they've gotten so expensive too.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: What I subscribe to the theory that it's uh to catch time travelers.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I don't know about that.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: What is that about?
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: The theory, okay.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: So the theory is that uh the lottery is just a trap to catch time travelers.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: The stupid ones that are like, I'm gonna go back in time and win the lottery.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Oh like in Back to the Future kind of shit, yeah.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_05: Alright.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_05: Well, speaking of the lottery, Miss Perez here, I think, won a pretty b big lottery, in my opinion.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_05: She got pulled for Kill Tony.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: How was that?
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: It was good.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it was my so I showed up not knowing what Kill Tony was.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, really?
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: I had like seen clips online, but I had never like I don't know, I'd never watched an episode before.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: I can't imagine walking into that blind.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, well, you sign up and then you're sort of set to like this bar area where you just hang out and see if you get called.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: And while I was there, I asked my friend, I was like, so if I do get called, like what do I do?
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what are they gonna do?
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, You have to do one minute and then they're gonna interview you.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so I had my one minute ready and I looked up some interview questions, you know, just to be familiar.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I I like to tell this story that before going up, I had like gone to a restroom in between them calling names, and at some point I was like washing my hands, and I felt like okay, they're about to call your name.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: And it I did, they did.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: I like walked out of the bathroom and basically as soon as I sat at my table, they called my name.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: So that feeling of oh, I knew this was coming, that was that was probably the best part.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: Did that help with the anxiety or make it worse?
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, it's it really helped because the adrenaline kicked in in the bathroom when I was like when I felt it in my gut, and then once I was like taken back, you're taken through like an alley and then backstage.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um once I was there's not sketchy at all.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: No, I was like they have a producer with you.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they have a producer with you.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: That makes me feel so much better.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: No, I was also like, what did I sign myself up to?
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, once I was like walking back there, there's like some homeless guy in the corner.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, okay, we'll we're going that way, I guess.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, once I once they took me back, I was like, well, now it's do or die.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like just do what you gotta do and go through it and get out, and that's it.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what I did.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: I watched the video, you did great.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, thank you.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: And uh at that time I had only been doing comedy for two months.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: So it was it, I mean, for me, doing comedy has always just been like how can I best express myself and also just how can I do something that like you know is fun and exciting, but is like bringing out new parts of me or sides of me and is just fun.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: So the fact that I treated that as a way to like have fun and just sort of be myself, it was that was fun.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: That was cool.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_05: Now, did you go to Austin for another reason?
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I went to do comedy in part, um, but my my cousin had just gotten engaged, she's from Austin.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: So we're just yeah, I have family in Texas and like Wisconsin, so sometimes we just pop in and out of each other's lives.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_05: That's awesome.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_05: When when you were going across the street, so like I actually was in the bar for Kill Tony.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_05: I didn't go, I didn't sign up, but I I was in one of this is like a couple years ago, and when they called the person's name, everybody in the bar erupts and cheers.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_05: So that did that happen for you too?
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that's cool, huh?
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's so cool.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: I love the camaraderie that everyone had, and even like coming back, people were like, Hey, who was on the panel?
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, how'd you do?
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I like got my big joke book, and it was so fun to just be able to celebrate with people that think like, oh right, like she she did it, you know?
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_05: Right.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_05: Now, when you're backstage, how much time do you have?
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_05: Like, are are you like is there a person in front of you waiting to go on?
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: Or no, you so they called my name, and within like three minutes I was backstage, and then there was probably like a minute left of the other person's set.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then you just go on.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: There's like a mirror um backstage behind the curtain, or like right before you get to the curtain, and you just like they're like, Okay, check yourself out, prep, and then you're on in like a minute, and you just go up.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_05: Now, are you trying to hear what the other person's saying or like questions that way maybe you can try to get in on that, or like what was going through your mind at that point?
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, a little bit, but at that point I was just looking to feel calm in my skin because I was like obviously so excited and just I had prepared, like I knew what I wanted to say.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know how it would come out because I was so new.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I I just wanted to feel comfortable and not shake up.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what I was thinking in that moment.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't really listening to the person's um like set or their interview at that point, but I was trying to listen into like see if they were calm or if they were like getting roasted or something.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: But that was it was chill and it was a good time.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: You were pretty stoic up there.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, thank you.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I another thing that helped is that you can't see the crowd.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm pretty sure it's like a room of I don't know, 200.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_05: It's it's a it's a two oh that I think it's like 250 people in that room.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's it's a big room, but you can only see the first two rows.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: So now when I've like seen the video, I could tell I'm like looking down at these people because I was like, my only way to connect with the crowd.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: So probably because the lights are so bright, yeah.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: They're so bright.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: So it feels really intimate.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_05: When you first get on stage though, what is your thought?
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_05: Like, I gotta grab the microphone, or do you look to see who's on the panel?
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_05: Like, what was your first thought?
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was looking for the camera.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um I was like, if I could find the camera and just like talk to the abyss, I'll be fine.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I just kind of tried to look forward.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: I did through someone told me right before this that I needed to move the mic stand.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I was just thinking about that, like, okay, grab the mic.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: I did notice it took you like 10-15 seconds to move the mic out of the way.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, but I will say when you did it, you didn't seem nervous.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_05: Like you seemed very like you said.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was still super natural when you moved it.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: It was like Yeah.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I it's definitely that practice of me trying to like feel like I'm in my body, just because when the nerves come in, you like I don't know, it's like that not tingly, but like the yeah, I don't know, that one sensation where you just don't feel like you're yourself.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_05: When you started your set, was it exactly how you wanted it to go, or did you like make a change?
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: No, so I was trying to look for a connection between like being Mexican and like um saying that I was bi or whatever.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't feel that that was even that funny.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't know, it it was sort of what I just said in the moment.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um looking back, I'm like, I I don't love that I said that because it's not like my whole identity, and but it's a clip that got a lot of attention.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like, okay, now I'm like known for being this bi-Mexican girl, which is like you did it to yourself, dog.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: And like I I I was working through that.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I hate that.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_05: But okay, I had a I had a potential tag for you.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, okay, and and hate me if you will, but um if you you could go with like I'm bi-Mexican, I buy Mexican tortillas at the store.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_05: No, because my girl, one of my girlfriends who's Mexican, like she always calls them tortillas, and so she's like, I never buy stortillas, but I'm just like, I don't know.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_05: I think that would be kind of a funny, or like something to like as a misdirection.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you know what I mean?
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_05: Easy with the thumbs down.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_05: She could work through.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_05: I'm not saying I don't, I'm not saying take it verbatim.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_05: I'm just saying, like, you know, you could take it and expand on it.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, now I don't use that as part of my set.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like that was so early on to me finding out what was interesting about me and trying to make jokes out of it.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: That's why also in my interview, I was like, oh, I'm like this redneck Republican on paper.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, what the fuck?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: Why'd I say that?
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um that was funny.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was silly.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: But the way at that point I could tell I was getting a little nervous because I had just kind of said it like, uh I was like, uh, yeah, I am like no, but it's true, like when so Tony had signed up for Kill Tony in LA, and before he went like he he didn't, unfortunately he didn't get called, but before we were con conversing about it, and I was telling him, I'm like, you gotta prepare for the questions.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_05: I think I think the questions are yeah, almost weighted more in some respects than because it's how you think on your feet or how you respond to the audience or their questions.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, I think your one minute is extremely important and that sets the tone, but I think after that, um, you know, I think the make or break comes at the uh question interval.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, maybe.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: I like to just get high and wing it, honestly.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_01: I probably would if I were to end up getting interviewed, I probably would have fucking shit the big completely if I fucking tried to preset responses.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_05: I just well I'm not saying like have a canned response, but just be aware that these are the types of questions that are gonna be asked.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_05: Like they'll ask you about like your relationship status, they'll ask you about uh what the what's the most interesting thing about you.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_05: And I think that is one where it's like I wouldn't I wouldn't say not to have something ready, but I think having something ready because obviously when they ask you that, they're looking for something interesting, right?
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: And so if you're just like I like to do comedy, I have a whole Apple basket to pick from of that category, dude.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's been a long 35, almost 36 years.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's why like what would you pick?
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: I was about to say, like, people are so complex, I felt like I needed to think about what I was gonna say before because there's just like so much, right?
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: So uh I probably would have gone with I started smoking weed at eight.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: At eight years old.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, damn.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's why your brain's developed this way.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: Listen, no, that was the cocaine and the acid and the xanax and the fucking list goes on.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_05: See, for me, I I think I actually have to dig deep for that question because I feel like I'm pretty boring.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_05: I don't feel like there's that much, like, I don't know.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_05: I feel like I'm very like, you know, went to school, graduated, got a job.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_05: I don't feel like there's like that many twists and have a podcast.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_05: I know, but like they don't they don't necessarily love that if you're like promoting your own stuff.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_05: Anyways, sometimes they do, sometimes they don't, it just depends.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_05: So yeah.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_05: Um, but when you're backstage, was anybody like you got this?
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_05: Like, yeah, how was that?
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone was really nice.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, well, the security takes all your shit, and that was like that's gonna be crazy.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was like, Oh, I can't take anything, and he was like, nope.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: And so that was like normal, but afterwards the whole staff is like really nice just because they got to see how you did.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: And since I did like pretty good, and they were like, Okay, she's chill, they were like, That was fun, like good job, and that was it.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_05: And then when it's over, do you get to like hang out in a set certain spot with all the other people that went on, or are you just out the back alley door?
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, what's up to the homeless guy again?
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: You say bye, yeah, exactly that.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: You say bye to the homeless guy.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: He actually asked, I forgot about this, but he asked to see my book, and I was like, Okay, and I showed him it, and I was like, he's probably gonna steal it because I let him hold it.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: He was like, Can I see your book?
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I was oh sure, and he he took it, but he gave it back.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I was trying to share the love, you know.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_05: Do you feel like anybody like was jealous or like oh why'd she get pigs or anything like that?
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_05: Oh yeah, really, yeah, yeah.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_01: Where there's success, there will always be jealousy.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_05: Where was the jealousy that you felt it was like in your Instagram or was it like in immediately in your life, yeah?
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: Oh wow, okay.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: But it's all right.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there's I don't think uh I don't think people realize that there's a lot more like success or fun, good things that can happen, and there's enough for everyone to do it.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like I agree.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: People, yeah, people get scared that when you get an opportunity, they're not gonna get it, but that's not the case.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_05: I agree.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_05: I think that's a very insightful way to look at it.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_05: I feel like there's a lot of gatekeeping, yeah.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: And um which is crazy because there's there's enough room on at the table for everybody.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_05: I know.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, I know, but there's a lot of people that don't like Rogan and love Rogan for all multiple different reasons, but I will say one thing I think that's pretty cool is like he has his group of friends, and then like it seems like they all like promote each other.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_05: You know what I'm saying?
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_05: Like, because they all started at the store together, and then I mean, I know he started.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_05: Before the store, but I mean, I'm saying for purposes of at the store, and then that group of friends have worked on helping each other.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_05: And I you notice, like, there's a guy named um Sam Talent who's on the panel a lot for Kill Tony, and I got to see him in Irvine Improv, and his two openers are like his friends from when he started in Denver, and like so it's pretty cool to see different comics bring their homie or their friend to open for them, like Cam Patterson, his friends open for him, and it's really neat to see that because it's like they're giving their friends that opportunity to get in front of a bigger audience, you know.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_05: Right.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I I I've I love that about comedy.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's just there's a lot of behind the scenes stuff, you know?
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: But I uh did you stuff your phone in your shoe?
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what the fuck?
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to Autism Talk guys.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, my favorite.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: So I got like a whole bunch of like DMs and you know attention from Kiltoni.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: My favorite DM I got was like, hey, and then the next message, by any chance, are you autistic?
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: Lol.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, damn, I want to keep having this conversation, but I don't I don't want to give it.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: You should have sent him a selfie from this view.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you tell me.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I just thought it would be convenient.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_00: It kept like sliding down, you know.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, people put keys in their socks, people put coins in their socks.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: People put their car keys up there, hoo-ha.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: What?
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_05: I've never heard that.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_05: Is it like smuggling stuff?
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, well, smuggling, that's a well, yeah.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: But why what in what fucking scenario are you gonna need to smuggle car keys?
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_01: Get it together.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, maybe not car keys, but I just remember my cousin.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_05: Uh she has a a bra purse, which is just her bra.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_05: Everything goes into her bra.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_05: No worse.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: Better than the prison wallet.
• 24:07
  unknown: Yeah.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: Who's the prison wallet?
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: Your hoo.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I'm saying.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_05: That's who puts the keys on the hoo.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_05: Tony doesn't have a hoo-ha, he has a poo-ha.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: So that one was good.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_03: It's fucking funny.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_05: Um so do you think that being these are gonna be like the last, I am not this isn't just Kill Tony talk here, okay?
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_05: But um, but do you think that like you got a bump on your Instagram followers from Till Tony?
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I had started my page like two months or actually by the time that I went to Austin, it was like I had just started that page, that comedy page.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then um it took like two weeks for them to post the clips and everything, and my page grew like a thousand five hundred followers, which is like I had 200 followers before Kiltoni, and then I'm like at a thousand something now.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like, yeah, I got all my following from that.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: That two weeks must have been a little crazy though, right?
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_05: Like where you're just like waiting.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I wasn't sure because they had filmed in LA and I thought that they were gonna put out like a month's worth of um episodes before mine, and then it just came out like two weeks later, and I was like, Oh, that's cool.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: It was a surprise.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: I was at the gym and then I saw these like notifications.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, what the f is happening?
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: Has anybody ever recognized you to be like, Oh, that's the girl from Kiltony?
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: No, but one person from my job when I first started was like, You look so familiar, and I was like, Have I she was she asked me like where I worked before, all these things, and then she was like, I don't know, are you on the internet?
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, nope, no, I'm not.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm assuming she must have seen like the clips or something.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe, yeah.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_05: Have you ever been asked, like, hey, you're famous?
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_05: Are you someone?
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: Super famous.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_05: Never?
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_05: No, hell no.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_05: Have you ever been mistaken for someone else?
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_01: Uh SpongeBob.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_05: Who's Patrick?
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: Trump SpongeBob?
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm electric.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_05: I'm spongeable that I don't I didn't really watch Spongebob.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm deciding whether or not I'm offended as all I have no idea.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_05: I have no idea.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'll take that.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_01: Your brain seems to work like Patrick, so that's a good trade-off.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_05: If someone thought that you were like someone else and they were like, hey, I know you, like, let me buy you a drink.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_05: Would you would you take the drink?
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not taking alcohol from a stranger.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, what about bud?
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not taking weed from a stranger.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_05: What about money?
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_01: All right, now we're cooking.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'll bite.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_05: At what point though, do you like finally say, you know what?
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_05: I think you got the wrong guy.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_05: Like, if they're giving you a hundred bucks, a thousand bucks, like at what point are you like, I I think you got me mistaken with somebody else?
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: If it ain't broke, don't fix it, dog.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I do actually need$500 right now, as a matter of fact, friend that I've known for 10 years now.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_05: What about you?
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_05: Do you think that you're there'd be a certain dollar amount that you'd be like, no, no, no, that you've got you got the wrong person.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I don't I don't see a circumstance where someone would be giving me money for no reason, but if they want to give me money, I'll just take it.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, there you go.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_05: Well, let's meet our criminal of the day.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_05: Jennifer Kwan.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_05: She is a 24-year-old when this happened.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_01: The youngins again.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_05: I know, I know.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_05: Um, she wanted the perks that came with being an Instagram influencer without actually being an influencer.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_05: So, how would you guess that she went about getting the perks, like the money, the the free swag, if you will, uh that influencers sometimes get?
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: Does she break into all these places or something?
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_05: That's a good that's a good theory.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_05: Do you have a theory?
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_01: Uh she probably stole somebody's identity and just use her pictures instead of her own pictures.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_05: That's a that's a good theory.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: This girl's way hotter than me, huh?
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_05: Like a catfish.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, no, um, my my understanding is that uh she didn't pretend to be an influencer, she just impersonated actual influencers.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_05: So she would reach out to brands and be like, oh, I'm so-and-so, like via email.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_05: And she'd be like, I'll post about you, or I these are all my understandings of how the case went.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, and then she'd be like, Oh, let's con contract or contract with each other, send me this money, send me this, and and the businesses would do that.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_01: I get DMs like that all the time.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_05: Do you really?
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'll have to dig some up.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_01: Where's my Instagram phone?
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_05: Uh they're probably all deleted and blocked now, but well, while you're doing that, who who whose identity do you think you could steal?
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_05: Like, or who I let me rephrase the question.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_05: Whose identity would you want to steal if you were going to go down that path?
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_05: Like, like for purposes of like what kind of swag they get?
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_05: What do you think would be like a good one?
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_05: I I think like there's a lot of ones that get um like free skincare, and that always like looks like fun to like unbox skincare or like fitness gear, whoever those ladies are.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but see, like that's my problem.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'd take free skincare.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_05: Any free shit, I'll just do it.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_05: Facts, bro.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's free.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, send it to me is all I'm saying.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, so apparently, um the fat one fashion or multiple fashion companies sent her over$120,000 in cash and products.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_01: Cash.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_05: Cash and products, right?
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_01: But like cash is crazy.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_05: Damn.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_05: That is pretty crazy.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_05: Um, but she didn't just limit her cons to the internet, she also went against Target and DoorDash.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_05: So do you remember the Lego uh crime?
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_05: So a few weeks back we covered this guy that was going to Target.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_02: A little longer than that.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_05: Well, we're gonna just go with a few weeks.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_05: Uh yeah, uh Mr.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_05: Smiley episode.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_05: So uh this guy was buying like expensive Lego sets and then taking them and dumping out the pieces and then putting dry pasta back in the box.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_05: And returning genius, yeah, it sounds the same, right?
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and then finally he got caught because he was selling the parts on like eBay or whatever.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_05: So she did something similar.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_05: She would buy electronics, expensive electronics, take them home, and then put broken electronics back in the box, ones that didn't work or didn't actually match the box, and then she would return them, and then they wouldn't open them and she would get the cash back for that.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_05: And then my understanding is she would sell the uh the hot items, if you will, on on eBay or whatever site that she would sell them on.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm aside with her.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_00: She's like facts, she's scamming the system, yeah.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: Facts.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: They're not losing money.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_01: I do that with my Xbox controllers.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_00: You just return you buy a new one, return the broken one.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like if I break one, I'll buy a new one, return the broken one, and they'll send me a second new one.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: But how you don't think they're losing money on it?
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: They're definitely not losing the money.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: How aren't they losing money on it?
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because they their product doesn't cost nearly as much as what they're selling it for.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, facts, and they have insurance on that shit.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_00: They're they have a whole budget for stolen and uh thrown and items that don't get sold, like thrown away items.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's why have you seen like all those Sephora dumpster diving videos that used to be a thing in like 2016?
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: People or like Sephora would just throw out all this makeup um and like they never lose any money.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_05: I I don't agree.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, because here's the thing insurance, that's a misnomer.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_05: So yeah, they have insurance, but what happens is then they have premiums and then they have to pay more to the premiums, which who gets to pay them, who pays that?
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_05: The customer.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_05: So the prices for like for an example, workers comp.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_05: If someone gets injured at work, uh people think like, oh, I just sue the business because they have insurance and it doesn't cost anything to the business.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_05: But in fact, the business's uh X mod, it's called X mod or like their premiums go up, which then means that the business is out more money because they have to pay for a higher insurance rate down the road.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_05: And then that can be transposed down to the customer, and or maybe you don't get a raise because more of that money has to go to insurance.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_01: Well, they're not gonna give nobody a raise these days, anyways.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_01: And the disconnect is fuck the business.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_01: These motherfuckers got so much money, and then they don't want to pay nobody enough to like just basic live.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck them, steal from them.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_00: I think you're being very general.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_00: I disagree.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_00: But I think that most companies don't pay their workers nearly enough, and it's not because they don't have the money to do it.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_00: I understand what you mean that their premiums go up when stuff gets stolen, but these the people that like manufacture like Legos, they're not spending sixty dollars to manufacture your Lego, they're probably spending like ten, and they sell it for five times the price.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_00: So your company is making oh my gosh.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_05: I agree.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_05: Me and Alexa, we agree, or Siri or whatever her name is.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_05: That was fucking funny.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's pretty accurate.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: Sounds like Alexa brain thinking.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_00: No, um, but yeah, I don't know.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think that it's for certain that Target isn't losing money off of people stealing.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: They would have gone out of business years ago.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_05: Um, well, I respectfully disagree.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_05: And this is not uh economics 101, so we'll just move on.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_05: It's okay.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_05: We can have a difference of opinion and we can discuss.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_05: That's all good.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_05: Um, but that's not what we're here for today, folks.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_05: What we're here for is to then go on to what she would do with DoorDash.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_05: So with DoorDash, maybe you guys will feel differently about this.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_05: So with DoorDash, she would order food and then the driver would deliver the food, and then she would call the restaurant and say she never got the food.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_05: So then she would either tell the restaurant to reverse the charges or she would uh complain to the credit card, and then the credit card would not pay for the um for the food.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_05: So she would contest the charges, meaning like I never received the item.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_05: How do you feel about that?
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's fucked up because then the the driver is gonna get I don't know, he's not gonna get paid.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_01: That's exactly what I was gonna say.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_05: And the restaurant.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_05: I know I know you guys are anti-business, but we're not anti-business.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_05: No, anti-business.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_05: But the restaurant is now not gonna get paid, right?
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_05: They've their worker, they they've paid for the food, they paid for their workers to make the food.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_05: Now they're not getting reimbursed for that, right?
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_05: Because the insurance the uh credit card company stopped payment on the on the service.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_00: So did they do this like every day for like a year or something?
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_05: Uh I don't know how long she did it for, but she definitely um she so my understanding is she bought the electronics and returned fake ones to Target, collecting over$840,000 in fraudulent refunds.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's nothing.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_05: I I again, it's almost a million dollars.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_05: I I just respectfully disagree, but um, and then she defrauded DoorDash out of$42,000 by canceling orders.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_01: That's a lot, yeah.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's a lot on DoorDash, that's a lot.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_05: And imagine the drivers, they're not yeah, they're not getting paid.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_05: They're not getting paid, they're not getting their tip.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_05: They might even be getting demerits from DoorDash.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know how that works, but um, like you know, maybe they're not gonna get away.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, they're yeah, for sure goes down on their record.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_05: So she schemed uh her schemes scammed victims out of about a million dollars.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_05: That's how all and in total what she what she did.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_02: When was this?
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, this was actually just recently.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_05: She was found guilty um last year.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_01: So it was like while they were already required to take a picture when they left the food.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like, how did she get away with this?
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_05: Well, sometimes what happens is they'll take a picture that it got delivered, but you would say it didn't get delivered to my address.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_05: So it got delivered, but it was delivered to the wrong address.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_05: Because like for me, where I live, it's we're kind of um it's a bunch of collection of houses all together, and the streets kind of like look the same and whatever.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_05: And once in a while they'll it they'll deliver to the wrong address.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_05: Because we it's like our houses are on alleyways and things, and so the I think drivers sometimes get confused, and that's fine.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_05: Like, you know, you do your best to explain where it is, and I you know, I I'll go and hunt down my I'll go hunting for my dad.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_05: I don't I don't have a problem with that.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_05: Like, yeah, but um my husband will sometimes release it, he'll be like, Oh, it got delivered to the wrong place, whatever.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, not whatever, I'm hungry.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_05: We're gonna go get that food.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's entirely too uh physically irresponsible for me.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_01: That shit's expensive, dude.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_05: That's why that's how I feel.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, he's like, I'm I can I can fast for the night.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, no.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_01: God damn.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_01: You said she was found guilty?
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_05: Uh yeah, so she was found guilty.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_05: Uh it was federal prison.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_05: She's uh ordered to pay more than a million dollars in restitution.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_01: God damn, more than a million dollars?
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_01: Didn't she not get a million dollars like total out of everything?
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_05: Well, right, so she it was more than a million dollars that she scammed her victims out of.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, okay, okay.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_05: And I and I'm she wasn't found guilty, my apologies.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_05: She pled guilty to three federal counts of wire fraud and one count of aggravated identity theft.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_01: That fucking wire fraud, boy.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_01: I bet you well, I don't know.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_01: I guess she didn't get charged with tax fraud or tax evasion, so like maybe she was paying the taxes.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I don't know.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_05: That that was not in the what I could find, so it's possible, but um, yeah, I don't know.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_01: I have rules.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_01: I don't I don't know if you know, but I have rules of things not to do or to do if you come into a very large sum of illegal money.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_01: Rule number one is pay the taxes.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_01: Uh rule number two is don't begin living beyond your means immediately.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_01: It has to be gradual.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_01: And rule number three, clean that shit.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_00: What what's the plan to come up with this big sum of money?
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I have no idea, but rob a bank.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_01: From what I've learned from doing this podcast, these are like if you follow these three rules, this is these are the main three things that get everyone caught.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_01: The IRS comes to get you because you ain't paying your taxes, or the IRS comes to get you because you fucking just bought a Lamborghini on a$2,000 a month salary, or the fucking IRS comes to get you because you didn't clean your money.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_05: And I actually have a rule as well.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_05: Oh yeah.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_05: My number one rule is don't do the crime.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_01: We can put that in fine print.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_05: Pay your taxes.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_05: I agree with you on that, but don't do the crime.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_05: That's number one.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_05: And then uh yeah, I think I think I can agree.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_05: Don't live beyond your means.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_05: I think I can agree on that.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_05: As long as it's your means and not someone else's means.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, yeah, I don't know.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_01: But there's a gray area in there somewhere.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_05: But uh, did I tell you how old she was?
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_05: I told yeah, 24, 24 years old at the time of sentencing.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, so she was like 22 then.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_05: And she was sentenced in 2025, and this was in Los Angeles, Miracle Mile, federal court.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_00: How long ago was that case?
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_05: So she she pled in 2025.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, okay.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_05: So she's like still 20.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_00: She just said that twenty four.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_05: Sorry.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_05: It's okay.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_05: So catch the year.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_05: Five five years, five years in federal prison.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_05: So she won't even be 30 when she's out.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_01: Five years?
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_01: I guess that seems pretty standard.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's about the average.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_05: Probably a first-time offender, too.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_01: So I did more than that.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_05: What'd you do?
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_01: I think I've stole a million dollars.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_01: Uh robbery.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_00: Robbery?
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, armed robbery and armed burglary.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_00: What'd you steal?
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_01: Uh money.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_00: Money?
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_00: Where at?
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like in California.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_01: This feels like the I'm having flashbacks of the interrogation room right now, except I was a lot less cooperative.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_01: I used to rob drug dealers.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_00: But where?
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_01: In Virginia.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_01: Where I grew up at.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I got some bad information one night, and the house that we broke into wasn't a drug dealer's house.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_01: Uh some old dude and his dog.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_01: I feel terrible about it now.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_01: Uh we immediately got up.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like once I realized it was an old guy and his fucking dog.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_01: We got the fuck out of there.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but that was not the only crime committed that evening.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_01: Unfortunately.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_01: I got six felonies in one night.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_05: Oh shit.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_05: So technically you got a longer sentence, but you got out for doing good behavior, right?
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, kind of.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_01: They gave me 47 years altogether.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I had to do seven, which for felonies you have to do at least 85%.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so you can get that 15% coupon for good behavior.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_01: And then uh I forget where I was going with that.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, the 40 years is just like a little rain cloud over my head in case I want to play Cops and Robbers again.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um and it goes down each year.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_01: So I've been home for 10 years today, so that means I got 30 left over my head.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_00: Until you're like uh in the z safe zone, I guess.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's when it all goes away, but I mean that's 2056.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'll be fucking 65.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's actually not that far from now.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm done.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_01: No, I just mean time.
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_01: This is this is I'm just saying.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not taking that from somebody who stuffs their phone in their shoes.
• 43:31
  SPEAKER_05: Well, so the difference for you though is you had it was armed robbery, armed burglary, right?
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I was fucking strapped.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's that's what I'm saying.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_05: So, and you you know, uh for argument's sake, like you assaulted someone, right?
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_01: Because you I didn't hurt nobody.
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody got hurt.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, no one got hurt.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_05: But assault doesn't mean you hurt somebody, assault means they were threatened with being.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_05: Injured.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_05: So like you're the old man and the dog.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, people for sure got guns pointed at you.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_05: Right, so that's assault.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_05: You don't have to have batter batteries touching.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_01: So wait, wait, wait.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_01: Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_01: So get you can get an assault charge without touching somebody.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_05: I well.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that's my understanding, yes.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_01: If I'm just like, I'm gonna fuck you up, that's a you could tell someone you're gonna kill them, and that's a misdemeanor.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_05: Can we just for the record?
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_05: I was correct.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_01: Was I right?
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_01: You were right.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_01: See, I was like, I wasn't saying you were right.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_05: I was trying to sweat it.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, I gotta double check that shit.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like, that's because the AC is off.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_01: That's got nothing to do with that.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I know.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_05: It's it's confusing.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_05: But yeah, it's there's that's why assault and battery go together usually.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_05: That's insane.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_05: Mm-hmm.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that makes sense.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_01: I would have got brandishing if anything else.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_01: But I got a way worse charge than that.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_05: And that and that's the thing.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, sometimes it depends on the I think the prosecutor to decide like how much they're gonna drum up the charges, and maybe they felt like, you know, we have enough over here.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_05: Because if they don't have enough on the bigger items, I think that they oh they will overcharge so that way they can make sure something sticks, you know.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_05: So, but anyways, going back to Ms.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_05: Kwan though, uh there's no evidence in my research that there was any kind of you know deadly force that was gonna be used.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_05: So that's probably why it's only five years, and she probably won't serve like half of it, that's my thought, because she's most likely a first-time offender.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_01: I think the Fed's is 65%.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, so a little more than half.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you say they gave her five years, five years, yeah.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_01: So she'll do like three and a half, and she also pled.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_05: So I think that affects why it was probably only five years as well.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_05: So yeah, all those things kind of come combined together and how they decide.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_05: And LA probably is a little more um relaxed as opposed to another state, another state might be, but I guess it was federal, so it doesn't matter.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_05: Federal's different, so sorry, my brain has to like do all the analysis of everything that's going on.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, I've never been diagnosed, if in case you're wondering, but I wasn't.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure you've never been to the doctor for it, but it's there.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_05: I heard someone told me if you can drink coffee and go to sleep, that that is an element of like ADHD or something like that.
• 46:27
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_05: I've never heard that.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_01: Are you feeling sleepy over there?
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_01: Well, because I fall asleep.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_05: I can drink coffee and fall asleep.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_05: I could drink double espresso and go to sleep.
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_05: No problem.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'm curious as to what the uh it's funny because I'm actually learning about the brain.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I'm in school to be an addiction counselor.
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_03: Cool.
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so I'm in a psychology class right now.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_01: We're learning about the brain.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm curious to maybe try and discover why that is.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_01: Because I can drink coffee and it gives me absolutely zero energy.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_05: Really?
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_01: But when I lay down and try and sleep, I'm like, oh, okay.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I'd be up till three o'clock in the morning.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know why I stared directly into that light.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_01: That was fucking bright as fuck.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_05: Don't go to the light.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_05: Uh um, I'll get jittery sometimes if I haven't had anything to eat, you know.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_01: But I don't have none, like caffeine does.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_01: I used to do cocaine by the fucking half a gram line.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_01: So like caffeine really doesn't do shit for me.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_01: But when I do try and lay down and fucking sleep, I'll just be fucking.
• 47:36
  SPEAKER_01: I can't.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_01: I can't get comfortable.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_01: My brain just doesn't shut the fuck up.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_00: I love the caffeine jitters.
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, them too.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but I like it.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_00: It makes me excited about life.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like my cocaine.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_01: I wish I didn't have such tolerance, dude.
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_01: I miss not having a drug tolerance.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_05: Well, that's my my case for Jennifer Kwan.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_05: What do you got for us this week, Tonyo?
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you know what time it is.
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_01: Do you think you would survive in prison?
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yes.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_00: You think so?
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_01: All right, well, we're gonna find out.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_01: So, what's gonna happen is I'm gonna ask you and JJ five questions.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_01: And at the end, I'm gonna give you a prison survival rating.
• 48:25
  SPEAKER_00: Hell yeah.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so if you get zero or one question right, you're getting shanked.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_01: You're you're gonna get stabbed in the bathroom, probably.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_01: If you get two to three correct, you'll be fine.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but if you get four or five, you'll be the motherfucking pod boss.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_01: So that's where you want to be.
• 48:46
  SPEAKER_01: That's where you because then you'll be doing the shanking.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_05: I I am currently in Shankville right now.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, dude, she's gotten stabbed every episode.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_05: Every time.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, she is at the very least in ICU by now.
• 49:01
  SPEAKER_05: I may not be playing at Skankfest, but I'm playing it Shankfest because I am.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_01: The first one is so fucking easy.
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_01: I expect correct answers from both of you.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_01: Question number one.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_01: Ramen noodles are blank and blank.
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_00: Are blank and blank?
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_01: Blank and blank.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_00: Ramen is blank and blank.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's like it's a food and something else.
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_00: Is that what I'm supposed to fill in?
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'll give you the first half of the answer.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_00: And like, can't you break it to make some kind of weapon out of it?
• 49:49
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 49:51
  SPEAKER_00: Currency.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_00: Currency.
• 49:54
  SPEAKER_00: That makes so much sense.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_01: Food and currency.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_01: And no, if you're gonna make a weapon out of food, you're gonna want to do it with Jolly Ranchers.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay, that makes sense.
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you just melt them down and kind of roll it into like a play-doh fucking snake.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_01: And then uh as homoerotically as possible, you suck on it until it gets super sharp.
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_01: And then you can just stab somebody with it.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_05: Did you have a certain flavor that you would prefer to be stabbed by or that you prefer to stab with?
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_01: But I it depends on where I'm getting stabbed, because like if it's in the throat or like the face, like it I want it to at least taste good.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_05: It's like cherry.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_01: You know, but if I'm getting stabbed in the stomach or something, I guess it doesn't matter.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_05: Grape.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_01: Hell yeah.
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I've I just had a very high thought.
• 50:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a diabetic.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_01: If I get stabbed with like a lollipop, I'm dead.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm fucking I'm a goner, dude.
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_01: Lollipop.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_01: Write that down.
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_05: Uh yeah, you could be like, I I can't believe I made it out of prison.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_05: Like, I got I got shanked by a grape Jolly Rancher.
• 51:05
  SPEAKER_05: One lollipoper almost bled out and my sister spiked at the same time.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_01: I hate getting old.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_05: Multitasking.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_01: So, okay, so you have one whole point, you have a half a point.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_01: You're not in bad shape.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_01: Not in bad shape at all.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_01: Question number two A gang fight breaks out in an open dorm housing unit.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_01: This means there's no cell doors.
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's like a fucking warehouse with bunks in it.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_01: Uh the officers come in and spray mace at everybody that's fighting.
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_01: How do you protect yourself?
• 51:42
  SPEAKER_00: Uh you cover your face and your eyes with.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um I guess if you're in the pillow with a pillow.
• 51:55
  SPEAKER_05: Not a pillow.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna say one thing as a joke.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_05: And then the next thing I'll say is real.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, you're gonna cover your face with ramen.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_05: Because we just talked about it.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_05: No.
• 52:09
  SPEAKER_05: Um I would say that you're gonna cover your face with if you have some kind of like if you have any kind of plastic in your cell, because the cloth, I would think absorbing the mace would then not help you at all.
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_05: So any kind of cloth would just make it the it wouldn't necessarily help or prevent the mace from getting on your face.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_01: Uh first thing, I don't know if you've ever tried to breathe with plastic on your face.
• 52:39
  SPEAKER_05: Well, you're just trying to cover your eyes, right?
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_01: Uh no, that shit'll get into your fucking nasals, it'll get into your throat.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry.
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_01: Zero points will be awarded to either of you.
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_00: What do you use then?
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like a sheet?
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_01: Wet towel.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_00: But then that means you would have either had to have a wet towel or like pre-wet a towel.
• 53:01
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 53:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, where are you gonna get a wet towel from?
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_01: You have a towel and you have a sink.
• 53:06
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I guess.
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_01: You see them coming in with the mace, you're not involved in the gang fight.
• 53:11
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, I see.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_05: I have a question about the gang fight.
• 53:13
  SPEAKER_05: Are we talking about like inner like inner conflict of the gang, or are we talking multiple gangs?
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_05: Like, does that matter?
• 53:19
  SPEAKER_01: I that doesn't matter.
• 53:21
  SPEAKER_01: There's 18 people fighting in your dorm of 30.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I didn't know there was a sink.
• 53:27
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what prison looks like.
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_00: You said bunk bed, so I was like, okay.
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_00: The sink is somewhere else.
• 53:34
  SPEAKER_01: That's a reasonable assumption, I guess.
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_01: But no, they're they're not somewhere else.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_01: There's a fly in here driving me fucking crazy.
• 53:42
  SPEAKER_00: There was a fly.
• 53:43
  SPEAKER_01: I know, it's been driving me nuts.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_01: It keeps flying in and out of my glasses.
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 53:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not that high.
• 53:50
  SPEAKER_01: I don't do acid anymore.
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's fucking alright.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_01: Zero points.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_01: You have a half a point.
• 53:59
  SPEAKER_01: You have one point.
• 54:00
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_01: Alright.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_01: What is a store box?
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_00: A store box?
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_01: This is a hard one.
• 54:10
  SPEAKER_00: Damn.
• 54:11
  SPEAKER_00: I've never heard of this.
• 54:13
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm sure all the hard time you've done in jail.
• 54:18
  SPEAKER_05: I'm gonna say it's like an area that you have in your area, like a like a designated spot in your like in your bunk area that's for your items that you've got from the common commissary that you may or may not be willing to trade.
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_05: So it's like your personal store.
• 54:41
  SPEAKER_00: You have like your double deodorants in there, you have like your ramen currency in there.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, zero points awarded.
• 54:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you guys are in trouble, dude.
• 54:55
  SPEAKER_01: What the fuck?
• 54:56
  SPEAKER_01: I would stay out of the bathrooms in the meantime.
• 54:58
  SPEAKER_01: So store box is uh essentially like a uh bank loaner.
• 55:07
  SPEAKER_01: So, like let's say you need either like some currency to trade for something, or you just randomly want like a snack or a bag of chips and you you don't have it, you will go to this person and be like, hey, give me a bag of chips, I'll give you two back on store day.
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so it's like interest kind of thing.
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_05: That sounds dangerous.
• 55:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you don't be able to do it's not a it's not a problem if you pay up.
• 55:35
  SPEAKER_05: I know, but you gotta pay it up.
• 55:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 55:38
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta pay up or you gonna you're gonna pay somewhere else.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_05: Goes back to one of the other episodes where you're talking about what happens if the commissary doesn't have that chip that you promised that you're gonna pay back and then you're in trouble.
• 55:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't know.
• 55:51
  SPEAKER_01: I never had that problem.
• 55:53
  SPEAKER_01: I don't I don't like to borrow shit from people to begin with.
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_01: And the only time I would is like if somebody that like I've been dealing with for like, I don't know, because I was in there for fucking six years.
• 56:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's like after a year or two, you're dealing with somebody and you realize, hey, this person's alright, you know what I mean?
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_01: You kind of can break certain walls down.
• 56:13
  SPEAKER_01: Uh you don't want to do too many, obviously, but uh from somebody that I've known for a few weeks or something, I'm not I'm not asking you for shit.
• 56:23
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 56:25
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_01: So all right.
• 56:28
  SPEAKER_01: This is a bonus question.
• 56:30
  SPEAKER_01: Question number four is a bonus question.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_01: There are three potential answers that I'm looking for.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_01: So for each one that you come up with, you can have a point to keep yourselves alive, at least.
• 56:44
  SPEAKER_01: Give me at least one term for prison wine.
• 56:49
  SPEAKER_00: Prison wine?
• 56:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's like there's a I know it involves a toilet.
• 56:55
  SPEAKER_00: Uh punch.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_00: Toilet punch.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_01: That is incorrect, but I think it should totally be adopted.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know what, honestly, I think I would adopt yeah, maybe not belong in prison, but I would totally make that a thing in prison.
• 57:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'll give you a half a point for that.
• 57:16
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 57:17
  SPEAKER_01: And we'll we'll find out why.
• 57:19
  SPEAKER_00: Let's see.
• 57:20
  SPEAKER_00: Pooch.
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_01: Ding.
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_05: Pooch?
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_05: Pooch.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_01: With an H?
• 57:26
  SPEAKER_05: Moonshine?
• 57:28
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 57:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um.
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'll give you each one more try.
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_01: Save yourself.
• 57:36
  SPEAKER_01: There's one more, two more, actually, I'm looking for.
• 57:39
  SPEAKER_01: Fruit cocktail?
• 57:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's one and a half more.
• 57:41
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 57:44
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, like juice.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_00: What is it made out of?
• 57:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's like made out of.
• 57:50
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so it's made out of like fermented fruits.
• 57:52
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you put some water in there, obviously, and then you use like uh hard candies for all the uh for the sugar content.
• 58:00
  SPEAKER_05: And then you have to burp that bitch.
• 58:02
  SPEAKER_01: You do gotta burp that bitch.
• 58:05
  SPEAKER_05: I learned that in Arya Azizian's episode.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I remember.
• 58:10
  SPEAKER_01: I remember.
• 58:12
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so the the three terms I was looking for were hooch, pruno, pruno, and you were you were close, toilet water.
• 58:20
  SPEAKER_00: I thought I said toilet water, wasn't it?
• 58:22
  SPEAKER_01: You said toilet punch, and I that's way better in my opinion.
• 58:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's so much better.
• 58:27
  SPEAKER_05: I think she gets a half point.
• 58:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I gave her a half point.
• 58:30
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so you have one whole point and you have two points, you have now survived a shanking for the first time.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_03: Amazing.
• 58:40
  SPEAKER_01: Jeez.
• 58:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 58:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 58:46
  SPEAKER_01: If you get one more question right, you'll live.
• 58:50
  SPEAKER_00: All right, let's see.
• 58:51
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, and uh I don't have faith.
• 58:58
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have faith.
• 58:59
  SPEAKER_01: I pre-picked these questions last night.
• 59:01
  SPEAKER_01: You got the luck of the draw, these suck.
• 59:05
  SPEAKER_01: You use the bathroom first thing in the morning.
• 59:09
  SPEAKER_01: You notice the toilet doesn't flush.
• 59:12
  SPEAKER_01: You go over to the sink to wash your hands.
• 59:15
  SPEAKER_01: The sink doesn't turn on either.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_01: What's about to happen?
• 59:23
  SPEAKER_05: Lockdown.
• 59:26
  SPEAKER_00: Lockdown.
• 59:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um I feel like that's accurate.
• 59:32
  SPEAKER_00: Lockdown or your cellmate is gonna buck you in the ass.
• 59:37
  SPEAKER_01: You would want the water on for that, I feel like, at least.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_01: Jesus fucking Christ.
• 59:47
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just don't know.
• 59:50
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man.
• 59:51
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so the correct answer is actually a shakedown, which is when the cops come in and fucking tear the whole block apart looking for contraband or whatever.
• 1:00:04
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but they do when we're stuck inside the block, it is called lockdown.
• 1:00:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I'll give you a half a point for that.
• 1:00:14
  SPEAKER_01: So you have now made it to two and a half points.
• 1:00:18
  SPEAKER_01: And one in you are dead.
• 1:00:22
  SPEAKER_01: Dead.
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_01: Deceased.
• 1:00:27
  SPEAKER_00: Guess I can't commit any crimes.
• 1:00:29
  SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't if I were you.
• 1:00:33
  SPEAKER_00: Well, so what do you got coming?
• 1:00:35
  SPEAKER_00: You have a show tonight, right?
• 1:00:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I have a show at the jet room um in Adelanto.
• 1:00:41
  SPEAKER_00: Uh yeah, tonight.
• 1:00:43
  SPEAKER_01: But you said is a dispensary, right?
• 1:00:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's a dispensary lounge, yeah.
• 1:00:47
  SPEAKER_01: That's fucking fire.
• 1:00:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it looks pretty cool.
• 1:00:50
  SPEAKER_00: I like posted them up yesterday, and they were like, all whoever buys a ticket gets like a little goodie bag.
• 1:00:56
  SPEAKER_00: So that's pretty cool.
• 1:00:57
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's rad.
• 1:00:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:00:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:00:59
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, have you been doing any comedy like in the last couple weeks, anywhere with cool, anything?
• 1:01:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:01:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I've been prepping.
• 1:01:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm opening up at the Ice House on October 10th.
• 1:01:07
  SPEAKER_00: Dang! What show is that?
• 1:01:10
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, it's Davy the Don's show.
• 1:01:12
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:01:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just I'm opening up for him um with some other comics.
• 1:01:17
  SPEAKER_00: We've got Gabby, Aunt Jr., um, you know, pretty cool people.
• 1:01:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I've been prepping for that.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_00: I've been at doing Jesse Soriano's mic in um at the silent brewery.
• 1:01:31
  SPEAKER_00: I've had a couple other shows, um, like blinking on all of them.
• 1:01:36
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, I've been I've kept busy.
• 1:01:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's awesome.
• 1:01:39
  SPEAKER_00: And what about you, Mr.
• 1:01:40
  SPEAKER_01: Talio?
• 1:01:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm doing flappers on the 23rd.
• 1:01:45
  SPEAKER_01: Cool.
• 1:01:45
  SPEAKER_05: Is Jesse Ace on that show too?
• 1:01:47
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 1:01:47
  SPEAKER_05: That's Rod.
• 1:01:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:01:49
  SPEAKER_05: Whose show is it?
• 1:01:51
  SPEAKER_01: Uh fuck, I don't remember.
• 1:01:53
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 1:01:54
  SPEAKER_01: I've been, I don't want to say comedy is taking like a back seat right now.
• 1:01:58
  SPEAKER_05: Well, you're in school.
• 1:01:59
  SPEAKER_01: I have been focusing a lot on school.
• 1:02:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's a lot of information uh that I've been taking.
• 1:02:04
  SPEAKER_01: Just psychology class alone has been fucking kicking my ass.
• 1:02:07
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but I try to get out as much as I can.
• 1:02:11
  SPEAKER_01: Uh but that's all that's the only thing I've planned in the near future.
• 1:02:15
  SPEAKER_01: You got anything coming up?
• 1:02:16
  SPEAKER_05: Uh October 8th, I have uh Dennis Vargas and then October.
• 1:02:21
  SPEAKER_01: Grey room, by the way.
• 1:02:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:02:23
  SPEAKER_01: At the playground?
• 1:02:24
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 1:02:24
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck yeah.
• 1:02:25
  SPEAKER_05: Where's that?
• 1:02:25
  SPEAKER_01: Gray Street.
• 1:02:26
  SPEAKER_05: Huntington Beach.
• 1:02:27
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, cool.
• 1:02:27
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_05: And then October 24th, I'm gonna be at the comedy store in La Jolla.
• 1:02:32
  SPEAKER_05: Uh yeah.
• 1:02:33
  SPEAKER_05: What?
• 1:02:33
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:02:34
  SPEAKER_05: So um look at you.
• 1:02:36
  SPEAKER_05: Oh yes, I'm very excited with uh pretty funny people, and uh it's a showcase of a bunch of different people that are pretty funny.
• 1:02:47
  SPEAKER_05: Who is it with?
• 1:02:47
  SPEAKER_05: Who's on the show?
• 1:02:48
  SPEAKER_05: Lisa Sunstead.
• 1:02:49
  SPEAKER_05: So she's the promoter, producer of the show.
• 1:02:52
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, and then there's a bunch of other people.
• 1:02:54
  SPEAKER_05: This San Diego Comics, it's awesome.
• 1:02:57
  SPEAKER_05: So that's fucking fire.
• 1:02:58
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, super stuck on that.
• 1:02:59
  SPEAKER_05: And then um, it's a Wednesday night, and then um last week I was I put my name in uh Nice Bits Urban Improv.
• 1:03:07
  SPEAKER_05: You should check it out.
• 1:03:08
  SPEAKER_05: Uh you put your name into a hat.
• 1:03:11
  SPEAKER_05: And at first I thought there wasn't gonna be that many people there because when I got there, um the box was practically empty, but that's because they were super quick on taking the names and uploading them.
• 1:03:21
  SPEAKER_05: Oh so they upload them into like a digital wheel of fortune almost, and uh it spins and then it lands on a name, and then that name is the person that gets to go to state, get to go to the station.
• 1:03:32
  SPEAKER_05: So uh Nicholas Johnson opened, and who was really funny.
• 1:03:36
  SPEAKER_01: Fucking hilarious guy.
• 1:03:37
  SPEAKER_01: So good.
• 1:03:38
  SPEAKER_01: Love that guy.
• 1:03:38
  SPEAKER_05: And then RJ Sines and Kenny Weber are the hosts, and then they had uh two comics from LA.
• 1:03:46
  SPEAKER_05: One of them I don't remember his name.
• 1:03:47
  SPEAKER_05: He's he's a funny guy.
• 1:03:48
  SPEAKER_05: Um, but the other one, uh, it's Matt Marks, and he's hilarious.
• 1:03:54
  SPEAKER_05: Uh he I got to do a show with him, and he does he, I think he's open for Tom Segura, I want to say, and he was really great.
• 1:04:02
  SPEAKER_05: Uh, but was cool.
• 1:04:03
  SPEAKER_05: So you get three minutes, and then they just they decide the group of I guess I think it's the hosts and the judges that decide, I'm not really sure.
• 1:04:11
  SPEAKER_05: They say whether or not you get to make one of the two seats that are on the stage.
• 1:04:15
  SPEAKER_05: So uh the first two people automatically fill seat one and seat two, and then as you get called up to the stage, you get to knock someone out, or you don't.
• 1:04:25
  SPEAKER_05: And then whoever's last in the two seats, they get to go uh for a final round of one minute.
• 1:04:31
  SPEAKER_01: So they call 10 people total, right?
• 1:04:34
  SPEAKER_05: 10 people total, right?
• 1:04:35
  SPEAKER_05: So you get three minutes, 10 people, uh, and then if you make it to the final tea, you get one minute.
• 1:04:41
  SPEAKER_05: So I knocked someone out, so that was cool.
• 1:04:45
  SPEAKER_05: And then I mean, not no like disrespect, but like that was cool to knock someone out, and then um I think I survived like one or two rounds, so I was like, that's pretty cool.
• 1:04:53
  SPEAKER_05: And then um the last two people were uh Ben Duang and Josh.
• 1:05:00
  SPEAKER_05: I'll have to do, I'm not, I have to look at the last name because I don't want to get it wrong.
• 1:05:04
  SPEAKER_05: Um he does Carp Tarp Pantinga?
• 1:05:08
  SPEAKER_00: Josh Plantinga?
• 1:05:09
  SPEAKER_05: Yes, I I yeah, I wasn't sure how to pronounce it, but yeah, he he killed.
• 1:05:13
  SPEAKER_05: He he did a really funny.
• 1:05:14
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, he was so funny.
• 1:05:15
  SPEAKER_05: Um his and Pin Pin was so funny too.
• 1:05:18
  SPEAKER_05: Both of them, like their three minutes were crushers, and then um they both did a minute and then Ben ended up winning.
• 1:05:25
  SPEAKER_05: So yeah, it's pretty cool.
• 1:05:27
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, so that was nice.
• 1:05:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'll have to check that out.
• 1:05:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, for sure.
• 1:05:30
  SPEAKER_05: I recommend it.
• 1:05:30
  SPEAKER_05: It was a fun night.
• 1:05:32
  SPEAKER_05: Um, I the way that the wheel turns, I didn't think that my name, I didn't think it landed on my name, and then all of a sudden I was like, oh my gosh, it landed on my name.
• 1:05:40
  SPEAKER_05: So I went to hit record on my phone, and then I must have double-clicked it and then I didn't get to record my set.
• 1:05:47
  SPEAKER_05: So I was so bummed because I thought, oh my gosh.
• 1:05:49
  SPEAKER_05: I tried, I I tried a new joke within the set, and uh I I was like, oh, I wanted to like I know how it went in my head, but like I wanted to be able to see it back and all good, but it was fun, it was really fun.
• 1:06:02
  SPEAKER_05: So I know it's cool to be on Urban Improv stage, you know.
• 1:06:05
  SPEAKER_05: So yeah, so sick for sure.
• 1:06:07
  SPEAKER_05: Because I go, I I get to watch a lot of comedy there.
• 1:06:09
  SPEAKER_05: I go, I try to go and watch as much as I can, and um so to be on the stage is pretty freaking cool.
• 1:06:14
  SPEAKER_05: So yeah, I highly recommend it.
• 1:06:16
  SPEAKER_05: But anyways, well, thank you so much for being here today.
• 1:06:19
  SPEAKER_01: We've had a great time, yeah.
• 1:06:21
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, so have I.
• 1:06:22
  SPEAKER_05: You guys are really cool.
• 1:06:23
  SPEAKER_05: I think more people should ask what your opinions are.
• 1:06:26
  SPEAKER_05: So thank you.
• 1:06:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, thank you, thank you guys for yeah.
• 1:06:32
  SPEAKER_00: This is actually my first podcast.
• 1:06:34
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, that was fun.
• 1:06:35
  SPEAKER_05: Well done.
• 1:06:36
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 1:06:37
  SPEAKER_05: Well, we'll have we'll have to have you back too because so good.
• 1:06:41
  SPEAKER_05: So yeah, so good.
• 1:06:43
  SPEAKER_05: Um, well, thanks again for watching.
• 1:06:44
  SPEAKER_05: Like and subscribe, Tony.
• 1:06:46
  SPEAKER_02: Peace.