Latest / The Daily Sarcast / March 18th, 2026: Dyslexia, Ohio and My Amazon Orders

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March 18th, 2026: Dyslexia, Ohio and My Amazon Orders · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
  Today's episode is sponsored by Autocorrect. Only corrects when you don't need
• 0:04
  it to and doesn't do anything when it absolutely should.
• 0:08
  The world holds so much misery that miserable hearts forget the face of happiness.
• 0:13
  Tiana Taylor calling out criticism over her cheering on Amy Madigan at the Oscars after losing.
• 0:20
  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I give you the news and maybe a laugh.
• 0:24
  I'm Lindsay Vernick and it's March
• 0:26
  18th, 2026. I hope you all had a really nice, cold St. Patrick's Day.
• 0:32
  I thought that they would have made the weather a little bit nicer for,
• 0:35
  like, some day drinking, but apparently it wasn't in the cards this year.
• 0:39
  In real news, Donald Trump said that Gavin Newsom shouldn't be president because he has dyslexia.
• 0:46
  Which is very bold for him to say that, considering the current qualifications
• 0:50
  for president seem to be the ability to tweet, confidence, and a light relationship with facts.
• 0:57
  Newsom has been very open about having dyslexia, and he responded to the whole
• 1:02
  thing basically telling kids it's not a weakness, which is the correct response
• 1:07
  when someone is publicly saying something that feels like it came from a middle school bully.
• 1:12
  And also, just factually, dyslexia doesn't mean that you're dumb.
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  It just means reading and processing words works differently,
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  which honestly, if anything, might be helpful in politics where no one reads
• 1:22
  anything properly anyway.
• 1:24
  Advocacy groups were like, this is offensive, which, yeah, good job.
• 1:29
  This whole thing is less about learning disabilities and more about two politicians
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  who clearly hate each other and have decided to communicate exclusively through
• 1:38
  insults like their teenage girls.
• 1:40
  But I guess this is apparently where we draw the line. Not policies,
• 1:44
  not experience, not decision-making, no, reading level.
• 1:48
  At this rate, the next debate is just going to be a live spelling bee.
• 1:51
  A top U.S. counterterrorism official, Joe Kent, just resigned over the U.S.
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  Involvement in the war with Iran, which is kind of a big deal,
• 2:00
  because people in those roles don't usually quit mid-war unless something feels very, very off.
• 2:05
  Kent basically said he couldn't support the conflict in good conscience and
• 2:10
  claimed Iran wasn't an intimate threat.
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  So this puts him at odds with Trump, who is very much, you know, pro-war on this one.
• 2:17
  And Trump's response was essentially, he's weak, good riddance,
• 2:20
  which is his version of a LinkedIn endorsement. Now here's where it gets messy.
• 2:25
  Kent isn't exactly a universally trusted voice.
• 2:28
  He's been tied to conspiracy theories in the past, so this isn't a clean whistleblower
• 2:33
  hero exit dramatically situation.
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  It's more like a controversial guy making a very serious accusation during an already very tense war.
• 2:43
  People in both parties are split on this one. Some are like,
• 2:46
  he's right, this war doesn't make any sense.
• 2:48
  And others are like, we should not be taking anything this man says seriously.
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  So basically, right now, there's a lot of confusion, division,
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  and a lot of people pretending they're completely confident in their opinions
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  when no one actually knows how this will all play out.
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  And if you zoom out of this all for a second, the headline is really this.
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  A senior official quit during an act of conflict and publicly disagreed with the reason for the work.
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  That's not nothing. That doesn't mean that he's right, and it also doesn't mean that he's wrong.
• 3:18
  It just means that things behind the scenes might be a little less unified strategy
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  and a little more click that's starting to crack.
• 3:27
  A meteor, the size of what I imagine every guy on Hinge claims to be emotionally
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  6 feet, flew across the Northeast yesterday morning and literally exploded over Ohio.
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  NASA confirmed it was a fireball traveling at 45,000 miles per hour because
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  even space objects are in a rush to get out of Ohio.
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  The explosion created a sonic boom so loud people thought something blew up,
• 3:50
  which technically is something dead, just, you know, from space.
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  This thing had the energy of about 250 tons of TNT, which is very excessive.
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  People across multiple states saw it. Buildings shook.
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  Police got flooded with calls. And for one brief moment, everyone collectively
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  thought, is this it? Is this how it ends in Ohio?
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  The good news is, though, there was no damage and no injuries.
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  Also, I love how calm scientists are about all of this. They're like,
• 4:18
  yeah, a seven-ton asteroid exploded over your heads just now.
• 4:22
  Just continue on. In Lindsay life, the other day I accidentally got a little
• 4:28
  too high and I was chatting with my roommate about things that we needed for the apartment.
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  So I went on Amazon and I ordered everything and yesterday everything came.
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  We got a new cocktail shaker.
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  We got the sword to sharpen our knives.
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  We got what we thought was a cast iron pan but is just a regular pan and a cutting
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  board but make it stainless steel.
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  And that is what I get for ordering things high. Things I'm thinking about.
• 4:57
  How I lived a typical American workday yesterday.
• 5:00
  I woke up late. I went to work. I made small talk with a bunch of people I don't care about.
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  I trained a new girl but finished every sentence with, but I wouldn't do it the way I'm doing it.
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  Counted down the minutes until 5 p.m., came home, laid down,
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  made dinner, watched a stupid TV show, and went to bed.
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  But thank God I don't have to do it all over again. I don't understand how people
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  do it. Cooking tip of the day.
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  Cheese on broccoli tastes good. Cheese on kale? Not so much.
• 5:28
  Feedback, comments, questions, a nice Jewish bread looking for a date,
• 5:31
  email me at lindsay at thedailystarcast.com. Thanks so much for listening.
• 5:35
  Talk to you guys tomorrow.