Latest / Lately with Lexi / 9. Brahmacharya: Non-Excess and Energy Conservation

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9. Brahmacharya: Non-Excess and Energy Conservation · Lately with Lexi

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to Through the Veil,
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  where we explore the weekly theme that I'm teaching in my yoga
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  classes and
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  SPEAKER_00: workshops.
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  This week,
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  we're diving into the fourth yama in Patanjali's Yoga Sutras,
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  Brahmacharya.
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  This is essentially the practice of non-access and conscious
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  energy meditation.
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  SPEAKER_00: conservation.
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  SPEAKER_00: So we've been diving into the Yamas for the last couple of weeks.
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  Last week we explored Astita,
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  which is living from abundance rather from lack.
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  I'll go ahead and link that episode along with the first two in
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  this series.
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  So Ahimsa and Satya,
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  those will be in the show notes if you are catching up.
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  SPEAKER_00: Here's what I love about how the yamas build upon each other.
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  We started really learning about nonviolence towards ourselves
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  and others,
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  and then we've explored truthfulness and what that means in
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  both thought and our
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  SPEAKER_00: actions and
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  SPEAKER_00: And also lastly, lastly, last week, that's a tongue twister.
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  SPEAKER_00: We've shifted from scarcity into enoughness.
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  SPEAKER_00: Now with Brahmacharya,
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  SPEAKER_00: we are invited to take all of that awareness and ask ourselves,
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  SPEAKER_00: how am I using and directing my life force energy?
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  SPEAKER_00: So brahmacharya comes from two Sanskrit words,
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  the first being brahma meaning divine or sacred and charya
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  meaning conduct or
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  SPEAKER_00: moving toward.
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  SPEAKER_00: So literally brahmacharya means walking toward the divine or,
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  SPEAKER_00: you know,
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  SPEAKER_00: conduct aligned with the sacred.
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  SPEAKER_00: So it's really, really beautiful.
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  SPEAKER_00: And
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  And traditionally,
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  this yama has been interpreted as celibacy or sexual restraint.
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  SPEAKER_00: And while that's one expression of it,
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  the meaning is far broader and more relevant to how most of us
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  are living today.
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  SPEAKER_00: So in our modern context, brahmacharya is about moderation.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's about non-excess and really the conscious use of energy.
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  So in the yoga sutras,
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  Patanjali says,
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  when established in brahmacharya,
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  vigor is obtained.
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  SPEAKER_00: So vigor, think vitality, life force, creative energy.
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  SPEAKER_00: And when we stop dissipating our energy,
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  SPEAKER_00: sending it in all different directions,
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  we discover we have so much more energy available for what
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  actually truly matters
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  SPEAKER_00: in our lives.
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  When we're more conscious with how are we spending and
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  directing the energy that we do have.
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  SPEAKER_00: So here's what makes this practice challenging.
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  SPEAKER_00: We live in a culture of excess, right?
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  SPEAKER_00: Especially in the US, right?
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  SPEAKER_00: So we...
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  SPEAKER_00: Don't even realize often we eternalize that more is better.
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  SPEAKER_00: New is better.
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  SPEAKER_00: You know, hustle harder, consume more, upgrade, optimize, maximize.
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  SPEAKER_00: We are constantly overstimulated.
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  SPEAKER_00: We are overworked.
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  SPEAKER_00: We are over caffeinated.
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  SPEAKER_00: We're just over everything, right?
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  SPEAKER_00: And
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  SPEAKER_00: And so what's underneath all of that excess?
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  SPEAKER_00: Well, exhaustion.
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  I think this is why there is such a draw and interest for
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  people being more
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  SPEAKER_00: minimal,
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  SPEAKER_00: being more minimalist.
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  SPEAKER_00: Um,
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  SPEAKER_00: and looking at their,
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  SPEAKER_00: their spending and not having too many of,
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  SPEAKER_00: you know,
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  SPEAKER_00: single item things.
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  Or,
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  uh,
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  this is also why I think we see people love watching like this
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  organizing shows.
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  SPEAKER_00: Um, so this is all part of it.
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  So brahmacharya,
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  I do want to preface,
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  like this is not about deprivation.
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  SPEAKER_00: It is not anti-pleasure.
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  SPEAKER_00: It is about conscious, intentional engagement.
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  with our lives rather than just compulsively seeking more,
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  better,
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  or different.
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  Think about Amazon and how easy it is with Uber Eats just to
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  buy and get things
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  SPEAKER_00: delivered instantly,
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  SPEAKER_00: same day,
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  SPEAKER_00: to your house.
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  So we want to start to look at how we're spending and directing
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  our energy,
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  SPEAKER_00: both with our purchasing decisions,
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  but also with food and our relationships and sex and these
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  other areas that maybe
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  SPEAKER_00: we aren't really,
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  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to say we're not honest with ourselves about,
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  because we might just not be having those conversations with
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  ourselves about how
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  SPEAKER_00: are we directing our energy in these areas of our lives.
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  SPEAKER_00: So the question isn't like, is this thing bad, right?
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  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to use wine as an example.
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  SPEAKER_00: Obviously this goes without,
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  SPEAKER_00: you know,
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  SPEAKER_00: if you have an addictive personality or that addictive gene,
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  SPEAKER_00: but you know,
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  SPEAKER_00: we want to just,
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  SPEAKER_00: let's use a glass of wine as an example here.
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  SPEAKER_00: So instead of asking like, you know, is this bad?
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  SPEAKER_00: The question is, you know, is this serving me?
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  SPEAKER_00: Is this something I'm doing
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  SPEAKER_00: And consuming consciously.
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  SPEAKER_00: So you can replace wine with coffee, with sugar.
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  SPEAKER_00: I'm using food as like an easy example here.
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  SPEAKER_00: You could replace it with sex.
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  SPEAKER_00: Where are you spending your energy?
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  SPEAKER_00: with this thing?
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  SPEAKER_00: Is it nourishing you or is it depleting you?
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  SPEAKER_00: So going back to like wine,
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  SPEAKER_00: coffee,
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  SPEAKER_00: these different food examples,
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  I think that it's one thing to be unconscious making coffee in
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  the morning.
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  Like you may be running late and you're rushing and you're
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  making the coffee first
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  SPEAKER_00: thing in the morning and you're drinking it so quickly.
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  SPEAKER_00: That's a very different energy than if you are brewing the coffee or
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  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, chanting a mantra over your coffee.
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  And there's like this ritual where it allows you this
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  opportunity to slow down and be present.
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  SPEAKER_00: Same thing with like a glass of wine or champagne.
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  SPEAKER_00: You know,
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  are you telling yourself that this is bad and you shouldn't be
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  drinking because of
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  all the influencers online saying that a glass of wine is so
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  terrible for you?
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  Or are you,
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  you know,
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  consciously celebrating and allowing yourself to be in that
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  pleasure?
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  SPEAKER_00: So think of your energy as currency.
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  SPEAKER_00: So we have a limited amount each day.
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  SPEAKER_00: Where are you spending it?
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  SPEAKER_00: Are these things a wise investment?
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  SPEAKER_00: Are you getting a return on that investment?
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  SPEAKER_00: Or are you just bankrupting yourself by noon?
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  SPEAKER_00: So here's what I've noticed in my own life and in working with clients.
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  Most of us have energy leaks that we don't even recognize
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  because we're not self-reflecting
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  SPEAKER_00: on these things because they seem so little in hindsight, right?
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  SPEAKER_00: So we're scrolling mindlessly through social media for an hour.
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  We might not even have that awareness,
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  but then we're wondering why we feel drained.
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  SPEAKER_00: We're saying yes to commitments we don't have capacity for,
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  SPEAKER_00: and then we're starting to resent ourselves or other people.
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  SPEAKER_00: We're overworking, we're overconsuming, overindulging.
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  SPEAKER_00: So in these different ways that maybe promise,
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  SPEAKER_00: you know,
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  SPEAKER_00: fulfillment or happiness or hit a dopamine,
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  but they're really just delivering depletion if we're really
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  honest about it.
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  SPEAKER_00: So the root cause of this excess, like what is that?
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  SPEAKER_00: Where does it come from?
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  SPEAKER_00: So often we're trying to fill an inner void with external stimulation.
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  So we're disconnected from our own sense of enoughness and
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  belonging and wholeness.
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  SPEAKER_00: This then connects directly back to last week's episode on Astadia.
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  SPEAKER_00: And this is when,
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  SPEAKER_00: you know,
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  SPEAKER_00: we've internalized cultural conditioning that tells us more is better.
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  SPEAKER_00: And we have to consciously unlearn that pattern.
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  So how can we practice brahmacharya in a world that constantly
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  tells us to do more,
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  SPEAKER_00: to have more,
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  SPEAKER_00: to be more,
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  SPEAKER_00: to work harder and
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  And I think the first thing is just taking a breath and giving
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  ourselves grace and
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  SPEAKER_00: the solutions really twofold.
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  SPEAKER_00: We have to acknowledge our energy leaks.
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  SPEAKER_00: We bring consciousness to, you know, where are we draining our energy and
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  so that we can start to transmute it we got to get really
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  honest about what's
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  actually nourishing us versus what's just numbing or filling
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  time second we have to
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  find the middle way like the buddha taught and this looks
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  different for all of us
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  some the middle way might mean complete abstinence from certain
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  things maybe social
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  SPEAKER_00: media maybe alcohol maybe you know working outside of certain hours
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  SPEAKER_00: And for others,
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  it's about balancing guilt-free indulgence without being in
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  denial when those
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  SPEAKER_00: patterns become too depleting,
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  SPEAKER_00: right?
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  SPEAKER_00: So we have to all establish what is that middle way for ourselves.
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  SPEAKER_00: And it may shift over time, and that's okay too.
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  SPEAKER_00: So this practice is all about examining our habits,
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  SPEAKER_00: our consumption patterns,
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  SPEAKER_00: how we use our time,
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  SPEAKER_00: how we use our attention,
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  and really just getting honest about where are we directing our
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  focus and our
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  SPEAKER_00: energy.
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  On the yoga mat,
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  this practice really means honoring our edge without pushing
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  past it.
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  SPEAKER_00: So our yoga practice should leave us feeling energized, not depleted.
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  Same thing if you're somebody that goes and works out at the
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  gym or you're a runner.
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  SPEAKER_00: It means noticing when is ego driving you to go further,
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  SPEAKER_00: deeper,
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  SPEAKER_00: longer,
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  SPEAKER_00: and asking yourself,
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  SPEAKER_00: is this wise?
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  SPEAKER_00: Is this actually nourishing me or is it just depleting me?
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  SPEAKER_00: And then off our yoga mat, it shows up everywhere.
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  SPEAKER_00: So with food,
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  SPEAKER_00: as I mentioned,
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  SPEAKER_00: you know,
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  SPEAKER_00: eating mindfully,
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  SPEAKER_00: stopping when you're satisfied with work,
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  SPEAKER_00: recognizing when productivity becomes compulsion with technology,
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  probably tech more than anything else because of how highly
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  addictive it is.
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  SPEAKER_00: You know,
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  noticing when you're consuming information that's nourishing
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  you and nourishing
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  SPEAKER_00: your mind versus depleting you through,
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  SPEAKER_00: you
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  SPEAKER_00: So with our relationships too,
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  are we giving from a full cup rather than maybe overextending
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  ourselves until we're
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  SPEAKER_00: empty?
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  Or are we becoming codependent where another person's happiness
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  or success is dictating our own?
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  SPEAKER_00: These are all things we have to become honest with ourselves about.
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  SPEAKER_00: And it may change.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's going to change throughout our lives.
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  SPEAKER_00: And that's okay too.
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  SPEAKER_00: We just want to look at, all right, where are we at right now?
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  So this week,
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  I want to invite you to sit with a couple reflection questions.
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  SPEAKER_00: You can meditate on these, you can journal them.
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  SPEAKER_00: So there's three.
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  SPEAKER_00: The first is,
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  SPEAKER_00: okay,
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  SPEAKER_00: so if we view energy as currency,
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  SPEAKER_00: are we spending ours on what truly matters?
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  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
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  SPEAKER_00: Are you spending energy, your energy on what truly matters?
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  What would it feel like to have more vitality available for the
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  things that you
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  SPEAKER_00: deeply care about or that you want to put your time,
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  SPEAKER_00: energy,
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  SPEAKER_00: and attention towards?
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  And then lastly,
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  what is one area of your life where maybe excess has become
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  habitual?
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  Take some time,
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  journal on these,
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  or just notice them throughout your week.
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  SPEAKER_00: Where are you feeling nourished and where are you feeling depleted?
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  SPEAKER_00: That awareness is the beginning of this practice.
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  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so quick side note.
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  This is why I'm such a huge fan of fasting and breath work
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  because when we hold the
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  SPEAKER_00: breath out for extended periods of time,
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  we are quite literally training our nervous system to find
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  safety in the void,
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  SPEAKER_00: in the emptiness,
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  SPEAKER_00: in the stillness.
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  SPEAKER_00: And then similarly with fasting.
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  SPEAKER_00: So it's no wonder all major religions practice fasting.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's a deeply spiritual practice when done properly.
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  SPEAKER_00: So if you're curious about fasting, I know there's so many different
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  SPEAKER_00: you know, thoughts and experts on the topic online.
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  SPEAKER_00: I do think personally that it's different,
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  SPEAKER_00: you know,
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  SPEAKER_00: for men and women,
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  SPEAKER_00: um,
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  SPEAKER_00: the best ways to go about,
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  SPEAKER_00: uh,
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  SPEAKER_00: about practicing fasting,
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  but I think it's such a powerful spiritual practice to
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  integrate into your life.
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  SPEAKER_00: And then the heal, the physical healing benefits are, um,
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  SPEAKER_00: just they're insane.
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  SPEAKER_00: So I'm not just talking about intermittent fasting or water fasting,
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  SPEAKER_00: like there's many different types of fasting.
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  Uh,
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  but I do think that it's a great way to practice brahmancharya
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  and to be in the
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  quiet and to be in stillness and to be a little bit more empty
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  and not so full okay
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  so this is really a practice of awareness and gentle
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  realignment alignment just
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  like all of the yamas we've been exploring so far these are all
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  different like
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  external ethical practices that we can implement into our lives
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  and so i wanted to
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  share three really simple practical ways you can integrate this
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  into your life this
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  SPEAKER_00: week so number one
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  SPEAKER_00: Do an energy audit.
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  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
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  SPEAKER_00: When I first started life coaching back in, oh geez, what year was that?
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  SPEAKER_00: 2014, I want to say.
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  SPEAKER_00: This is one of the first practices I would always give my clients.
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  SPEAKER_00: Do an energy audit.
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  SPEAKER_00: So track for one week.
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  SPEAKER_00: where is your time and energy going?
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  Uh,
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  notice what activities and habits leave you feeling depleted
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  versus energized.
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  SPEAKER_00: And you have to be really honest.
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  SPEAKER_00: I have clients,
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  SPEAKER_00: especially like the,
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  SPEAKER_00: uh,
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  SPEAKER_00: businesses that I consult,
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  SPEAKER_00: they will have their team members.
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  SPEAKER_00: I'm not kidding.
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  Every half an hour,
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  have a timer go off and log what they just did for that
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  SPEAKER_00: and you do that for two weeks, it will change your life.
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  SPEAKER_00: There's no doubt about it, just the awareness alone.
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  SPEAKER_00: So you can do that,
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  SPEAKER_00: or you can just do a really simple audit,
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  SPEAKER_00: just journaling and reflecting on the previous week.
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  SPEAKER_00: So the goal here and the intention is to be honest.
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  SPEAKER_00: You're not judging yourself, you're just observing.
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  SPEAKER_00: And you might be surprised by what you discover.
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  SPEAKER_00: And at the end of each day, just note down, what gave you energy today?
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  SPEAKER_00: What drained me?
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  SPEAKER_00: What
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  Patterns will emerge and those patterns will show you exactly
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  where to focus your practice.
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  SPEAKER_00: And then the second practice you can do is embracing the pause.
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  SPEAKER_00: So before engaging in something,
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  SPEAKER_00: whether it's reaching for your phone,
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  SPEAKER_00: saying yes to a commitment,
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  SPEAKER_00: having another glass of wine,
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  SPEAKER_00: or pushing deeper in a yoga pose or at the gym,
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  SPEAKER_00: just pause.
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  SPEAKER_00: Take a couple deep breaths.
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  SPEAKER_00: Check in with your body.
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  SPEAKER_00: And ask yourself, will this nourish me or deplete me?
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  SPEAKER_00: This is something you can practice that's so simple.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's just pausing and tuning in to your body.
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  Your body holds so much wisdom and those answers will come
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  through fairly quickly
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  if you just give yourself that time and that space to really go
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  inward and listen
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  SPEAKER_00: to what's serving you and what's not.
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  SPEAKER_00: And then third,
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  SPEAKER_00: the last practice for this week is,
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  SPEAKER_00: you know,
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  SPEAKER_00: honoring what I like to call like the enough point.
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  SPEAKER_00: So this can be with food, with work, with money and with consumption.
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  SPEAKER_00: What is your enough?
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  I'm going to go back to using an example with like the
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  businesses that I consult
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  SPEAKER_00: and the CEOs that I work with.
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  SPEAKER_00: A lot of times I check in with them and I ask,
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  SPEAKER_00: what is your enough number for the business financially?
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  SPEAKER_00: And I'm always shocked.
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  SPEAKER_00: I can work with a small company.
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  SPEAKER_00: I can work with a medium to large size company.
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  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of the CEOs have never defined their enough number, right?
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  SPEAKER_00: It's always just like more, bigger, faster.
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  So defining what your enough number looks like financially as a
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  business owner,
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  life-changing.
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  SPEAKER_00: Right.
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  SPEAKER_00: Um,
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  SPEAKER_00: so looking at what is your enough point,
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  SPEAKER_00: what's that enough look like for food,
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  SPEAKER_00: for your consumption,
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  SPEAKER_00: you want to define these things and then start to honor that threshold.
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  SPEAKER_00: So this is where we'll start to build self-trust.
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  SPEAKER_00: This is where we learn that,
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  SPEAKER_00: you know,
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  SPEAKER_00: we don't need access to feel satisfied and that alone is so freeing.
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  SPEAKER_00: You know, your body knows when it's had enough food and
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: Your nervous system knows when it needs a rest.
• 17:06
  Your heart knows when it's had enough of a,
• 17:08
  I don't know,
• 17:09
  depleting conversation.
• 17:11
  So the practice is ultimately just like listening,
• 17:14
  tuning inward and responding.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: And as you practice these tools, just remember what Patanjali promised.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: When you establish yourself in brahmancharya, vigor is obtained.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: you'll experience more vitality and life force and creativity.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: You'll have more mental clarity and focus.
• 17:37
  You'll experience a deeper capacity for presence and also a
• 17:42
  deeper capacity for
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: intimacy,
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: intimacy with yourself,
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: with the divine,
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: with your loved ones,
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: and you will free yourself from compulsive behaviors.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: So
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: your values and your actions will come into alignment and you'll start to
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: experience so much more self-trust and ultimately self-respect.
• 18:04
  So there's something really powerful that happens when we stop
• 18:08
  scattering our
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: energy in every direction,
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: always seeking more.
• 18:14
  We find focus,
• 18:16
  we discover intention,
• 18:17
  we discover contentment and peace in the
• 18:22
  And we also discover that we actually have all of the vitality
• 18:26
  and energy that
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: we've been seeking outside within ourselves.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: We were just spending it unconsciously.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: So remember, brahmancharya is not about saying no to life.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's about saying yes to what truly matters.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: So the practice isn't about deprivation.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's coming home to your own enoughness.
• 18:49
  It's recognizing that you have everything you need and you are
• 18:54
  everything you need
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: to be right now.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: When we stop trying to fill ourselves from the outside,
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: we discover the fullness that's already within ourselves.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: And that's when the real transformation happens
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: the peace,
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: the contentment,
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: the joy,
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: the presence,
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: that's when we start to experience all of those things.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope you enjoy this week.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's all I have for you.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for listening to Through the Veil.
• 19:26
  Make sure you subscribe on Substack to go even deeper and to be
• 19:31
  the first to know
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: about my next workshop or retreat.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: And also mark your calendars for winter solstice, December 21st.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: I will be leading an in-person workshop in Southwest Florida.
• 19:44
  florida and i would love to have you so you can just reach out
• 19:49
  to me on substack
• 19:50
  you can email me if you want more details about the workshop
• 19:54
  but i'm really excited
• 19:55
  i love hosting these i love being together in person and i'm
• 19:59
  hoping to have my next
• 20:01
  uh international retreat um in 2026 we're thinking maybe end of
• 20:07
  end of the summer
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: beginning of the fall so stay tuned for that
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: All of the links to work with me are in the show notes below.
• 20:14
  Have a beautiful week practicing,
• 20:17
  you know,
• 20:18
  consciously conserving and directing your energy.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you deserve it.