Latest / Adult Child of Dysfunction / E 336: Tammy's Take #28: The Trigger-to-Truth Method: Why Your Past Is Still Running Your Present

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E 336: Tammy's Take #28: The Trigger-to-Truth Method: Why Your Past Is Still Running Your Present · Adult Child of Dysfunction

• 0:07
  Welcome
• 0:07
  back
• 0:08
  to
• 0:08
  another
• 0:08
  episode
• 0:08
  of
• 0:08
  Tammy's
• 0:09
  Takes,
• 0:09
  where
• 0:09
  we
• 0:09
  take
• 0:10
  powerful
• 0:10
  conversations
• 0:11
  with
• 0:11
  our
• 0:11
  guests
• 0:11
  and
• 0:12
  turn
• 0:12
  them
• 0:12
  into
• 0:12
  practical
• 0:13
  strategies
• 0:14
  you
• 0:14
  can
• 0:14
  use
• 0:14
  right
• 0:15
  now.
• 0:16
  So
• 0:16
  today
• 0:16
  we're
• 0:16
  talking
• 0:17
  about
• 0:17
  my
• 0:17
  conversation
• 0:17
  with
• 0:18
  Sarah
• 0:18
  Hansen,
• 0:18
  and
• 0:19
  I
• 0:19
  kept
• 0:19
  thinking
• 0:19
  about
• 0:19
  one
• 0:20
  thing.
• 0:21
  Most
• 0:21
  people
• 0:21
  don't
• 0:21
  stay
• 0:22
  stuck
• 0:22
  because
• 0:22
  they
• 0:22
  don't
• 0:23
  know
• 0:23
  what
• 0:23
  to
• 0:23
  do.
• 0:23
  I
• 0:23
  think
• 0:24
  I
• 0:24
  say
• 0:24
  it
• 0:24
  every
• 0:25
  single
• 0:25
  day
• 0:25
  to
• 0:25
  someone.
• 0:26
  They
• 0:26
  stay
• 0:27
  stuck
• 0:27
  because
• 0:27
  they
• 0:27
  don't
• 0:28
  know
• 0:28
  how
• 0:28
  to
• 0:28
  separate
• 0:29
  what's
• 0:29
  happening
• 0:29
  now
• 0:30
  from
• 0:30
  what
• 0:30
  happened
• 0:31
  then.
• 0:32
  As
• 0:32
  adult
• 0:32
  children
• 0:33
  of
• 0:33
  dysfunction,
• 0:33
  we
• 0:34
  often
• 0:34
  react
• 0:34
  to
• 0:35
  life
• 0:35
  from
• 0:35
  old
• 0:36
  survival
• 0:36
  patterns.
• 0:37
  So
• 0:37
  what
• 0:37
  happens?
• 0:38
  So
• 0:38
  a
• 0:38
  text
• 0:38
  message
• 0:39
  gets
• 0:39
  ignored,
• 0:39
  a
• 0:39
  spouse
• 0:40
  seems
• 0:40
  distant,
• 0:41
  a
• 0:41
  friend
• 0:41
  doesn't
• 0:41
  call
• 0:42
  back,
• 0:42
  and
• 0:42
  suddenly
• 0:43
  we're
• 0:43
  anxious,
• 0:45
  we're
• 0:45
  overwhelmed,
• 0:45
  we're
• 0:45
  overthinking,
• 0:46
  we're
• 0:46
  people-pleasing,
• 0:46
  we're
• 0:47
  shutting
• 0:47
  down.
• 0:48
  We're
• 0:48
  literally
• 0:49
  preparing
• 0:49
  for
• 0:50
  disaster.
• 0:51
  The
• 0:51
  problem
• 0:51
  is
• 0:52
  what
• 0:52
  we're
• 0:52
  often
• 0:52
  reacting
• 0:53
  to
• 0:54
  is
• 0:54
  an
• 0:54
  old
• 0:54
  wound
• 0:55
  instead
• 0:55
  of
• 0:55
  the
• 0:55
  current
• 0:55
  situation.
• 0:56
  So
• 0:57
  today,
• 0:57
  I
• 0:57
  wanna
• 0:57
  teach
• 0:58
  you
• 0:58
  a
• 0:58
  tool
• 0:58
  that
• 0:58
  I
• 0:58
  use
• 0:59
  with
• 0:59
  my
• 0:59
  clients
• 0:59
  all
• 0:59
  the
• 1:00
  time.
• 1:00
  I
• 1:00
  call
• 1:01
  it
• 1:01
  the
• 1:01
  trigger
• 1:01
  to
• 1:01
  truth
• 1:02
  method.
• 1:02
  The
• 1:02
  next
• 1:03
  time
• 1:03
  you
• 1:03
  feel
• 1:03
  emotionally
• 1:04
  activated,
• 1:04
  do
• 1:05
  these
• 1:05
  three
• 1:05
  steps.
• 1:06
  Three
• 1:06
  simple
• 1:06
  steps.
• 1:06
  You
• 1:07
  know
• 1:07
  I
• 1:07
  like
• 1:07
  to
• 1:07
  keep
• 1:07
  it
• 1:07
  simple,
• 1:07
  guys.
• 1:08
  Number
• 1:08
  one,
• 1:09
  name
• 1:09
  the
• 1:09
  trigger.
• 1:10
  Ask
• 1:10
  yourself,
• 1:11
  "What
• 1:11
  just
• 1:11
  happened?"
• 1:12
  Not
• 1:12
  the
• 1:12
  story,
• 1:13
  not
• 1:13
  the
• 1:13
  interpretation,
• 1:15
  not
• 1:16
  any
• 1:16
  of
• 1:16
  what
• 1:17
  you're
• 1:17
  thinking
• 1:17
  you
• 1:18
  think,
• 1:18
  just
• 1:19
  the
• 1:19
  facts.
• 1:20
  For
• 1:20
  example,
• 1:21
  if
• 1:21
  your
• 1:21
  boss
• 1:21
  corrects
• 1:22
  you,
• 1:22
  instead
• 1:23
  of
• 1:23
  d-
• 1:23
  going
• 1:24
  into
• 1:24
  the
• 1:24
  spiral
• 1:25
  of
• 1:25
  how
• 1:25
  much
• 1:25
  they
• 1:25
  don't
• 1:26
  like
• 1:26
  you
• 1:26
  and
• 1:26
  how
• 1:26
  they
• 1:26
  always
• 1:26
  think
• 1:27
  you're
• 1:27
  wrong
• 1:27
  and
• 1:27
  everything
• 1:27
  else,
• 1:28
  just
• 1:28
  say
• 1:28
  to
• 1:29
  yourself,
• 1:29
  "My
• 1:30
  boss
• 1:30
  corrected
• 1:31
  my
• 1:31
  report.
• 1:32
  My
• 1:32
  husband
• 1:32
  didn't
• 1:33
  text
• 1:33
  me
• 1:33
  back
• 1:33
  right
• 1:34
  away.
• 1:34
  My
• 1:34
  daughter
• 1:35
  sounded
• 1:35
  irritated."
• 1:36
  Not
• 1:37
  why,
• 1:37
  not
• 1:37
  the
• 1:38
  story,
• 1:38
  just
• 1:39
  the
• 1:39
  facts.
• 1:39
  Stick
• 1:39
  with
• 1:39
  the
• 1:40
  facts.
• 1:40
  Number
• 1:40
  two,
• 1:41
  name
• 1:41
  the
• 1:41
  fear.
• 1:42
  What
• 1:42
  does
• 1:42
  it
• 1:43
  bring
• 1:43
  up
• 1:43
  in
• 1:43
  you?
• 1:44
  Ask
• 1:44
  yourself,
• 1:45
  "What
• 1:45
  am
• 1:45
  I
• 1:45
  afraid
• 1:46
  this
• 1:46
  means?"
• 1:47
  So
• 1:47
  this
• 1:47
  is
• 1:47
  where
• 1:47
  it
• 1:47
  gets
• 1:48
  a
• 1:48
  little
• 1:48
  more
• 1:48
  interesting
• 1:49
  because
• 1:49
  most
• 1:49
  people
• 1:50
  will
• 1:50
  say,
• 1:50
  "They
• 1:50
  don't
• 1:50
  like
• 1:51
  me.
• 1:51
  I'm
• 1:52
  being
• 1:52
  rejected.
• 1:53
  I'm
• 1:53
  not
• 1:53
  important.
• 1:54
  I'm
• 1:54
  gonna
• 1:54
  get
• 1:54
  in
• 1:54
  trouble,"
• 1:55
  whatever
• 1:55
  it
• 1:55
  is.
• 1:56
  Notice
• 1:56
  how
• 1:57
  quickly
• 1:57
  your
• 1:57
  nervous
• 1:57
  system
• 1:58
  creates
• 1:58
  meaning.
• 2:00
  Just
• 2:00
  notice
• 2:01
  how
• 2:01
  quickly
• 2:01
  it
• 2:01
  does
• 2:01
  that.
• 2:02
  You
• 2:02
  have
• 2:02
  a
• 2:02
  story
• 2:03
  before
• 2:03
  you
• 2:03
  ever
• 2:04
  even
• 2:05
  process
• 2:05
  what
• 2:06
  was
• 2:06
  going
• 2:06
  on
• 2:07
  or
• 2:07
  decided
• 2:07
  to
• 2:08
  look
• 2:08
  at
• 2:08
  the
• 2:08
  facts.
• 2:09
  So
• 2:09
  now,
• 2:09
  number
• 2:09
  three,
• 2:10
  I
• 2:10
  want
• 2:10
  you
• 2:10
  to
• 2:10
  ask
• 2:10
  yourself
• 2:11
  the
• 2:11
  most
• 2:11
  powerful
• 2:12
  question:
• 2:13
  How
• 2:13
  old
• 2:13
  does
• 2:13
  this
• 2:14
  feeling
• 2:14
  feel?
• 2:15
  Not
• 2:15
  how
• 2:15
  old
• 2:16
  you
• 2:16
  are,
• 2:17
  not
• 2:17
  57.
• 2:18
  I'm
• 2:18
  not
• 2:18
  saying
• 2:18
  this
• 2:19
  happened
• 2:19
  right
• 2:19
  now,
• 2:20
  but
• 2:20
  how
• 2:21
  old
• 2:21
  does
• 2:21
  the
• 2:21
  feeling
• 2:22
  feel?
• 2:23
  Because
• 2:23
  many
• 2:23
  times
• 2:24
  what
• 2:24
  you're
• 2:24
  going
• 2:24
  to
• 2:24
  discover
• 2:25
  is
• 2:25
  that
• 2:25
  your
• 2:26
  reaction
• 2:26
  isn't
• 2:26
  coming
• 2:27
  from
• 2:27
  this
• 2:27
  57-year-old
• 2:28
  self,
• 2:28
  in
• 2:29
  my
• 2:29
  case.
• 2:29
  It's
• 2:30
  coming
• 2:30
  from
• 2:30
  my
• 2:30
  seven-year-old
• 2:31
  self
• 2:31
  or
• 2:31
  my
• 2:31
  12-year-old
• 2:32
  self,
• 2:33
  or
• 2:33
  the
• 2:33
  teenager
• 2:34
  who
• 2:34
  was
• 2:34
  constantly
• 2:35
  criticized
• 2:36
  and
• 2:36
  berated
• 2:36
  every
• 2:37
  time
• 2:37
  they
• 2:37
  did
• 2:37
  something
• 2:38
  wrong.
• 2:39
  So
• 2:39
  once
• 2:39
  you
• 2:39
  recognize
• 2:40
  that,
• 2:41
  you
• 2:41
  can
• 2:41
  say
• 2:41
  that
• 2:42
  makes
• 2:42
  sense,"
• 2:43
  but
• 2:43
  that
• 2:43
  was
• 2:43
  then
• 2:44
  and
• 2:44
  this
• 2:45
  is
• 2:45
  now.
• 2:46
  And
• 2:46
  here's
• 2:46
  the
• 2:46
  magic
• 2:47
  in
• 2:47
  this.
• 2:47
  You
• 2:48
  don't
• 2:48
  have
• 2:48
  to
• 2:48
  fix
• 2:48
  the
• 2:49
  feeling.
• 2:50
  You
• 2:50
  just
• 2:50
  have
• 2:50
  to
• 2:50
  stop
• 2:51
  believing
• 2:51
  it.
• 2:52
  That's
• 2:52
  where
• 2:52
  the
• 2:52
  healing
• 2:53
  starts,
• 2:54
  not
• 2:54
  by
• 2:54
  fighting
• 2:54
  your
• 2:55
  nervous
• 2:55
  system,
• 2:56
  not
• 2:56
  by
• 2:56
  shaming
• 2:56
  yourself,
• 2:57
  but
• 2:57
  by
• 2:57
  recognizing
• 2:58
  when
• 2:58
  your
• 2:58
  past
• 2:59
  is
• 2:59
  trying
• 2:59
  to
• 2:59
  run
• 3:00
  your
• 3:00
  present.
• 3:01
  I
• 3:01
  see
• 3:01
  this
• 3:01
  every
• 3:02
  single
• 3:02
  day
• 3:02
  through
• 3:02
  my
• 3:03
  coaching
• 3:03
  and
• 3:03
  biofrequency
• 3:04
  scans.
• 3:04
  I
• 3:04
  see
• 3:05
  these
• 3:05
  patterns
• 3:05
  happening
• 3:06
  every
• 3:06
  single
• 3:07
  day.
• 3:07
  People
• 3:08
  think
• 3:08
  they're
• 3:08
  stuck
• 3:09
  because
• 3:09
  they
• 3:09
  need
• 3:09
  more
• 3:09
  motivation,
• 3:10
  they
• 3:10
  need
• 3:10
  more
• 3:12
  awareness.
• 3:15
  I
• 3:15
  see
• 3:15
  this
• 3:15
  every
• 3:15
  single
• 3:16
  day
• 3:16
  through
• 3:16
  my
• 3:17
  coaching
• 3:17
  and
• 3:17
  biofrequency
• 3:18
  scans.
• 3:18
  Every
• 3:19
  single
• 3:19
  day
• 3:19
  I
• 3:20
  see
• 3:20
  this.
• 3:20
  People
• 3:20
  think
• 3:21
  they're
• 3:21
  stuck
• 3:21
  because
• 3:22
  they
• 3:22
  need
• 3:22
  more
• 3:22
  motivation.
• 3:23
  What
• 3:23
  they
• 3:23
  actually
• 3:24
  need
• 3:24
  is
• 3:24
  more
• 3:25
  awareness
• 3:25
  of
• 3:25
  the
• 3:25
  patterns
• 3:26
  running
• 3:26
  underneath
• 3:27
  the
• 3:27
  surface.
• 3:28
  You
• 3:28
  hear
• 3:28
  me
• 3:28
  talk
• 3:28
  a
• 3:28
  lot
• 3:29
  about
• 3:29
  your
• 3:30
  conscious
• 3:30
  mind,
• 3:30
  which
• 3:31
  is
• 3:31
  above
• 3:31
  the
• 3:31
  surface,
• 3:32
  and
• 3:32
  then
• 3:32
  that
• 3:32
  huge
• 3:33
  iceberg
• 3:34
  of
• 3:34
  unconsciousness
• 3:35
  that
• 3:35
  is
• 3:35
  below
• 3:36
  the
• 3:36
  surface.
• 3:37
  So
• 3:38
  once
• 3:38
  you
• 3:39
  see,
• 3:39
  once
• 3:39
  you
• 3:40
  understand
• 3:40
  that
• 3:41
  stuff
• 3:41
  underneath
• 3:42
  the
• 3:42
  surface
• 3:42
  is
• 3:42
  actually
• 3:43
  running
• 3:43
  the
• 3:44
  show,
• 3:44
  you
• 3:44
  can
• 3:45
  begin
• 3:45
  to
• 3:45
  see
• 3:46
  the
• 3:46
  pattern.
• 3:46
  You
• 3:47
  can
• 3:47
  stop
• 3:47
  becoming
• 3:48
  the
• 3:48
  pattern,
• 3:49
  my
• 3:49
  friends.
• 3:49
  You
• 3:50
  can,
• 3:50
  I
• 3:50
  promise
• 3:51
  you.
• 3:51
  So
• 3:52
  this...
• 3:52
  If
• 3:52
  this
• 3:52
  little
• 3:52
  exercise
• 3:53
  resonated
• 3:54
  with
• 3:54
  you
• 3:54
  at
• 3:54
  all,
• 3:54
  I've
• 3:54
  created
• 3:55
  something
• 3:55
  specifically
• 3:56
  for
• 3:56
  people
• 3:56
  who
• 3:56
  are
• 3:57
  tired
• 3:57
  of
• 3:57
  living
• 3:57
  in
• 3:57
  survival
• 3:58
  mode.
• 3:58
  It's
• 3:59
  called
• 3:59
  the
• 3:59
  Chaos
• 3:59
  to
• 3:59
  Calm
• 4:00
  Nervous
• 4:00
  System
• 4:00
  Reset
• 4:01
  Guide.
• 4:01
  Inside,
• 4:02
  I'll
• 4:02
  walk
• 4:02
  you
• 4:02
  through
• 4:03
  practical
• 4:03
  tools
• 4:04
  to
• 4:04
  calm
• 4:04
  your
• 4:04
  nervous
• 4:05
  system
• 4:05
  in
• 4:05
  the
• 4:05
  moment,
• 4:06
  understand
• 4:07
  your
• 4:07
  triggers,
• 4:07
  and
• 4:07
  start
• 4:08
  creating
• 4:08
  safety
• 4:08
  from
• 4:09
  the
• 4:09
  inside
• 4:09
  out.
• 4:10
  Grab
• 4:10
  it
• 4:10
  in
• 4:10
  the
• 4:10
  notes
• 4:11
  below.
• 4:11
  I
• 4:11
  promise
• 4:12
  you
• 4:12
  it
• 4:12
  will
• 4:12
  make
• 4:12
  all
• 4:12
  the
• 4:13
  difference
• 4:13
  in
• 4:13
  the
• 4:13
  world.
• 4:14
  Because
• 4:14
  healing
• 4:15
  isn't
• 4:15
  about
• 4:15
  becoming
• 4:16
  someone
• 4:16
  new,
• 4:16
  it's
• 4:17
  about
• 4:17
  teaching
• 4:17
  your
• 4:17
  nervous
• 4:18
  system
• 4:18
  that
• 4:18
  the
• 4:18
  danger
• 4:19
  has
• 4:19
  passed.
• 4:20
  So
• 4:20
  until
• 4:20
  next
• 4:20
  time,
• 4:21
  remember,
• 4:21
  your
• 4:22
  reaction
• 4:22
  makes
• 4:23
  sense,
• 4:24
  but
• 4:24
  it
• 4:24
  isn't
• 4:24
  always
• 4:25
  the
• 4:25
  truth.
• 4:26
  And
• 4:26
  sometimes
• 4:27
  the
• 4:27
  first
• 4:27
  step
• 4:27
  towards
• 4:28
  freedom
• 4:28
  is
• 4:28
  just
• 4:29
  asking
• 4:29
  yourself,
• 4:30
  "How
• 4:30
  old
• 4:30
  does
• 4:31
  this
• 4:31
  feeling
• 4:31
  feel?"
• 4:32
  So
• 4:32
  guys,
• 4:33
  have
• 4:33
  a
• 4:33
  great
• 4:33
  one,
• 4:33
  and
• 4:34
  I
• 4:34
  will
• 4:34
  see
• 4:34
  you
• 4:34
  back
• 4:34
  next
• 4:35
  time.
• 4:35
  Love
• 4:35
  you
• 4:35
  all.