Latest / Bird on a Branch / Ep. 04 | Soul Contracts: Why No Relationship Is an Accident
Transcript
- Carrie: up you guys? I to come on ⁓ and talk relationships and how not random relationships are. ⁓ Every ⁓ of that is in your life is literally predestined. And if it's predestined, then it's there for a purpose. ⁓ So ⁓ It's predestined with purpose, but if it's not predestined, then it's there for a reason. And I'm talking about ⁓ partnerships, ⁓ like you know, ⁓ intimate relationships, I'm talking your children, ⁓ I'm about parents, I'm talking your friends. All of them ⁓ are your ⁓ souls signed up for different lessons through people. I don't know what your beliefs are, but I do know that if you're here watching, you're called here for a reason. I trust that with every thing in life. And there is a relationship ⁓ your life ⁓ you're wondering if it's good for you anymore, if you've outgrown it spiritually, emotionally, physically, ⁓ so maybe this will provide some clarity, ⁓ One thing that I do believe, and if you're new here, you just like as a review, spiritually I am a huge I believe in God. I believe in Jesus. I was raised Catholic. I am not practicing a religion. I just am deeply spiritual. And so I do believe in angels. I do believe in spirit guides. I do believe in looking at my altar. ⁓ do believe in helper spirits ⁓ energies. I do believe that when our friends ⁓ loved ones pass away that they're just trans like their s their soul is still very much alive and their vessel is ⁓ gone. ⁓ do believe that they're going to guide us. I do believe we have guid guardians guard guardians and guiders. I in all that. I'll do I'll I'll do a separate episode on And all that. But that I think people don't ⁓ don't know, and something that ⁓ my psychic self, ⁓ cognizant self, ⁓ know ⁓ deepest knowing of my soul. And I was also shown that when I died and came back, that children, ⁓ or children to be, ⁓ or parents ⁓ and parents, ⁓ and siblings, and your friends, and even animals. ⁓ All are here your soul's evolution. ⁓ are here to support, they are here to push, ⁓ here to teach, they are here to hold space, ⁓ are here to inspire, ⁓ are here for lessons, they are here for a season or a lifetime. ⁓ of those like quotes around relationships that some people come in for a season ⁓ a week, or you know, I don't remember the exact quote. thing like a a little a little like backstory of how I met my partner, who are very different, ⁓ very people. We've been together for twenty years. w ⁓ of ways I knew that like ⁓ my ⁓ was my person was ⁓ This was back when I was moving from Heramosa Beach to Arizona. And it was like the whole backstory was like very very spiritual ⁓ like guided, I would say, like divinely guided, because it didn't make sense logically, but ⁓ just followed the pings. I I literally had quit my job in California, drove to the desert, was staying at my aunt and uncle's house, ⁓ didn't a job, didn't have anything lined up, ⁓ and the time I was an aerospace recruiter. and got there and within the two weeks I started making phone calls to get like a job interview set up ⁓ it's so random, but like it's so real. you I was making calls and getting people's voicemails. I was leaving message like, hey, my name's Carrie, and ⁓ blah blah. Well, I ⁓ I called this number and I got the voicemail of my husband. literally, I was I like ⁓ his came on the recording, and I was like, ⁓ immediately full body chills, ⁓ and soul his soul. Like, it's not gonna be like that for everyone, but I'm just giving you example of my soul knew his soul, and was like, I know this voice. It was like my soul remembered him. from past lives I imagine and But it was funny because so I left a message, I was completely dis like disoriented. I was like, when I met him in person when he called me in for an interview, ⁓ did not I didn't have that same like visual cue. Anyways, that is that is like a good example of like sometimes you'll meet somebody and you'll just be like, I know you. ⁓ know you and or ⁓ you me, or like immediately you'll have like this knowing, this deep knowing. ⁓ That's good example. of like a ⁓ person that you've been in life with before not this life obviously past life and you may not believe in past lives but ⁓ get there I you everyone and ⁓ the ⁓ that choose the partner that choose ⁓ often ⁓ reflects The modeling from one of your caretakers. This is why, like the psychology says like you usually marry one of your parents, which is weird to say, but it's true. reason we do that is because the subconscious loves the familiar, predictable familiar, ⁓ ⁓ you'll feel subcont your subconscious will track different patterns in ⁓ you're seeking a partner, ⁓ sometimes it turns out to be toxic patterns. the Goal is to always heal and evolve and inside of all of your relationships, but for yourself, for yourself, you eventually get to like a partnership and have a family, ⁓ will then know ⁓ these that you know you have become children ⁓ chose you, you chose them ⁓ in a contract before you even incarnate it into vessel that you're in. Obviously there's nuances to relationships and things can get really toxic and really bueno. but you find ⁓ you'll often find that the most important relationships to you ⁓ often you, and that is a ⁓ I'm I'm not telling you to stay in like a toxic relationship that triggers you. I'm just saying be willing to notice the triggers. Are they inspiring you to grow in the right direction? Are they reciprocal in the work that you guys are doing? So if let's just take like marriage or or intimate relate partnership. it's important that both people are putting in effort in the evolution of their soul and often that's not the case, but ⁓ ideal. And I say 98% of the time ⁓ People pick partners based on the healing of their soul wound. So, what we've come here in this life to heal, typically pick a partner that is going to either trigger those things ⁓ trigger those things to heal those things. I really encourage you to look at the ⁓ The similarities to both or one of your parents in in how you were modeled, what love looks like, what safety feels like in your nervous system, and how that shows up in your relationships. Because you are someone that is like many, ⁓ choosing not people that are not inspiring change in the right direction in your soul, ⁓ and can't seem to find ⁓ the one. I would I would definitely go back and track ⁓ was taught to you. So what that felt like to you, ⁓ it felt like in your nervous system, what beliefs are around that. Like for me, for example ⁓ I was always in trouble as a teenager. I referenced this in another video. I was abused by a sibling, and it caused me to ⁓ out ⁓ ⁓ ⁓ that were really destructive. ⁓ some point I tried to tell my parents they didn't believe me because I was ⁓ already like kind of lost the integrity there, ⁓ is not an excuse, but In trouble all the time. So I was I was grounded. I was, you know, and I then I was always in trouble. The only time I wasn't in trouble was when I was sick. And I remember I had a chronic strep throat. I had ⁓ a really horrific case of mono ⁓ high school, sophomore year, ⁓ and I just acutely to this day remember thinking, God, the only time I'm not in trouble, the only time I feel love for my parents, which isn't true, but I can see it now very clearly, is when I'm sick. So the belief formed over time that love, I am only loved when I'm sick. some of you can relate to that. And maybe there's some version of that that might be helpful. But that is literally how your subconscious is clocking, what love feels like and what love is ⁓ our caretakers. ⁓ ⁓ It's complicated, you know, why my parents acted that way, and there'll be lots of videos on what happened to me and how I transmuted that pain, but ⁓ it took a really long time for me to start to undo and unravel the belief that I had the only time, the only way I could feel love to be sick. And I a whole journey of ⁓ Chronic health issues and hopefully some of the chronic health community, especially invisible illness, is here watching this. Like, I see you, I see you, I see you, I understand you. be open to the idea that this may be true for you on some level. Lyme disease is a huge spiritual disease ⁓ in way that so many of us struggle with. I have had it, I have it. It's awful. And the point is, I'm on a tangent, the point is that that belief, body starts to believe your thoughts ⁓ ⁓ literally starts to filter through ⁓ you pick, how love shows up for you. ⁓ literally for the first like five years of my relationship with ⁓ we were you know, I was dating my husband, I strep still. I had strep I had strep once a month. ⁓ It was still in the back of my mind, but but for my soul, I had to learn eventually what's true. Is it true that I have to be sick to be loved? Okay, no, that's not logical. It's it's it's part of like unpacking these like belief systems, but it's also the relationships push you to look at those things. If you are in someone who is hungry to grow, look at those things. Look at who's showing up, look at the way that the ⁓ Love or what feels safe to you and what you tolerate and what's okay to you and what your boundaries are, or if you don't have any, then like get some. it put me on a journey of like this undoing ⁓ transmuting ⁓ like this isn't true, I can be loved without being sick, and but it was like a whole like eight-year journey of Learning that I didn't need to be sick to be loved, and every once in a while it still comes back. so I'm not saying like you're not really sick if you're sick. I'm not saying that, I'm not diminishing your experience. I'm just saying the beliefs that are formed and the relationships that we call in, including the ones that start at the very beginning with our caretakers ⁓ the womb ⁓ you like choose. Yes, I do believe that like pre-coming down into a body, we have different lessons and different people and different agreements to lessons that we're gonna decide how we're gonna learn them. And so many of those are through the relationships that we choose and let in. And so I really encourage you to look at closest relationships. ⁓ they working? Are they it ⁓ you to grow ⁓ If not, like you know, some boundaries might be called forward. But super easy relationships are typically it's okay. I mean, I'm not I'm not against having super easy relationships, ⁓ they're typically because you guys have been in life together and you like you like know each other's soul. one ⁓ very complex of soul contract relationships is is our children. ⁓ I'm going to make a whole other episode on teenagers and for those of you parenting teenagers out there, God bless, Godspeed. kids that relate that the children that we have, and even the children that we you know, however you parent them, or if they're adopted or whatever, ⁓ they us ⁓ and choose them ⁓ and they going to be your biggest mirrors, ⁓ your testers, ⁓ your triggers. ⁓ And they're gonna trigger the fuck out of you. it is on you, the healer, the he the one that's healing, to at why, what's the trigger, why, and what like how is this serving my relationship? ⁓ I tell you that right now, my daughter Is not only a huge mirror for me, but also a huge trigger for me because she's doing some things that I did at that age. ⁓ is literally ⁓ me, ⁓ person that's healing, to ⁓ show up, regulate, not project my triggers onto her, but ⁓ really microscopically investigate what is this phase of our relationship teaching me? What do I need to know? It's bringing up all kinds of questions of like my adequacy as in a a parent and a mom and like it's it's been triggering all kinds of powerlessness and ⁓ because ⁓ are scary. They do scary things to make you wanna like, ⁓ my god, don't do that. That's so not safe. is it's complicated. But that is a great example ⁓ soul ⁓ ⁓ And so ⁓ what the tension out of it is to understand it's a soul contract. ⁓ and to really start to look at it with a different lens of okay, I don't I'm not just like fucked up and broken and choosing like all these fucked up people. You're literally choosing from y if you're on Earth, you're here with a wound or or many, many wounds. And so Don't be you know cutting people out and being like that person's fucked up and that person's fucked up. Like literally everyone's fucked up. So I am a huge proponent of of boundaries, but I'm also not going to tell you that everyone is gonna show up and like they're gonna piss you off and they just are meant to be fucked cut off. Sorry. people are, ⁓ some people are there ⁓ evoke the lesson that you d agreed to, and so it's ⁓ a journey. It's a journey of trying to, you know, ⁓ suss out, flush out who is worth tolerating their wounds and your wounds ⁓ they making you a better person ⁓ is it ultimately ⁓ worth the pain that they're evoking? 99% the time ⁓ They're there with a purpose. I hundred percent can say that from coaching hundreds of people, couples, my own relationship. It is ⁓ a soul contract because, well, first of all, like astrologically we are like his north note is my south moon, and my south note is his north moon, and if you know astrology, then that's like very telling. But one the things that can help you, ⁓ and is a little bit longer than I wanted to go. ⁓ is to understand that the the relationships that are closest to you are usually 99% of the time soul contracts with soul lessons and if you're willing to look at what that is then it makes it really reframes that relationship makes you look at the person again. I mean even your kids it makes you look at them again and be like, ⁓ wow, you actually chose me and they chose you because you can walk with them in this life. They chose you because you have what they need to get through what they signed up for. And again, I'll go into another ⁓ episode on just parenting but that is a very complex soul contract relationship as this partnership and it's why marriage can be really hard or partnership. So hopefully that helps in some way The way out is through. So you have to determine is the relationship worth the that it's bringing up. Is it is it evoking you to grow? And is it making you look at your own wounds ⁓ helping you grow into a better version of yourself? And are you helping that person? Because it's not your job to heal them, ⁓ partnership is definitely ⁓ and children are definitely two relationships ⁓ you did sign up to help each other heal. ⁓ it can be extremely painful, ⁓ will say. ⁓ I hope that ⁓ helps ⁓ look at your relationships a little bit differently. ⁓ you guys let me know if you want me to like go into that further, like deeper soul. It's stuff I could talk about for hours, but I hope that helps ⁓ and bless and your relationships. ⁓