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Your Reactions Are NOT Who You Are: Breaking Reactive Cycles with Science and Scripture · The Rooted Woman Podcast

• Courtney: Welcome to the Rooted Women Podcast, the place for Christian women who are ready to grow deeper in their faith, find freedom from the things keeping them stuck, and confidently walk in the calling God has placed on their lives. Here we're getting rooted in biblical truth, having honest conversations about real life, and learning what it looks like to actually live out our faith. I'm Courtney, your host, and I'm so glad you're here. Let's get rooted. We're back. I am really, really pumped for today's episode. because today I want to get into the meat. I'm finally going to bridge a gap here. Something I haven't really done is really bring in my behavior analyst background into what I talk about here. And I just really feel like I need to bridge this gap. And I'm so excited to talk about. Our reactions today. We've talked a lot about survival mode and you know, we've gone through so many topics and practical application and building habits, but I want to talk about reactions. Okay. Your reactions are not who you are. That's not your identity. And breaking reactive cycles can actually happen. I have seen it in my own life. Okay. Today we're gonna focus on science and scripture where they meet in the middle to be able to actually break this down and stop reacting like the version of you that you don't want to be, okay? So I'm gonna give you a scenario here. Are you ready? It's 5:47 p.m. Dinner is only half made, you're running behind. Something just spilled, somebody started crying, and then one more small thing happens. Whatever it is, it's somebody tugging on your pants, it's dinner burning, and you can smell it burning, but you're over here trying to calm down this other toddler tantrum. Something happens and you finally snap. Your voice came out sharper, your face drops, your shoulders raise up, you're balling your fists. And within 30 seconds, this shame shows up. Why am I like this? Why am I this kind of mom? What kind of Christian am I to react this way? Right? If you've been here before, you're in good company because I used to live in this cycle, this little shame cycle. I talk about this a lot in our Road to Rooted cohort right now. We're talking about being on this hamster wheel, right? I kind of mentioned it in last week's episode to be able to kind of pull people into Road to Rooted and give you a sneak peek of what it was going to look like. I I lived there. I lived in that place. I could not get off of that shame cycle, that hamster wheel that just kept running and I could not slow down. If this feels familiar to you, then I want you to stay here and listen today and maybe even take some notes because I really want to tell you something that might change the way that you see yourself and focus really on our reactions not being who you are. You don't have to continue to react that way. Okay. I know if you've been here over the last few weeks, we've kind of had like This little series of not that's been happening. so like, you know, ministry is not what you think it is, rest is not laziness, prayer is not magic. today I want to talk about your reactions not being who you are. And this is a personal one for me because for so long, like I said, I was in that shame cycle, right? And when you're in that shame cycle, it's you're in this really vulnerable place where you can believe the lies that the enemy is whispering about your identity. And something that was a huge revelation to me from the Lord one day just was really broken down. And he just told me in every single area where you feel like you are struggling, it is a direct direct attack on your identity. And if you hone in on your identity in me and who you are as my daughter, everything else will start to make sense and you will have the weapons you need to fight the battles that you're facing. And I realized I was placing my identity in wherever I was struggling. So let's just say I struggled as a mom. I was saying, I'm a bad mom. And I I verbally said that out loud. I did a discipleship group with amazing women. Many of them were older than me and out of the season of raising littles. Okay. And they probably heard me at least a hundred times during my entire nine months with them say, I'm a bad mom. I'm a bad mom. And they would correct me every single time, Courtney, why are you talking about yourself like that? I'm like, well, I messed up today. I'm a bad mom. And I lived in that identity when I couldn't measure up as a wife. I'm just a bad wife. I'm a bad wife. And my identity was always tied to my performance in that specific area. When I worked through all of this and really placed my identity in Christ in a new way. Everything stemmed from that in all areas. And it became so much less exhausting because now I was not trying to figure out my identity in each and every area as a mom, as a wife. I was like, no, I pour out into all those areas because I am a daughter of the most high king. And it took away this striving in different quote unquote roles or hats that I was, you know, wearing or stepping into and allowed me to finally have room. To breathe, okay. So this is where my two worlds meet today. My scripture and science. Many of you know I'm a board certified behavior analyst. I spent years studying why people do what they do and working in that field, right? I want to also focus here on how we can have actual behavior change. Scripture and being, you know, surrendered to the Lord allows us to have a heart change and a transformation and renewing of our mind. And when we look at the way that God created us in this scientific way where science and Christianity can meet and they do get along, you just have to have the right lens to be able to see it. You can see the way that God created us to be able to shift into change. To even get to a place where we can literally rewire our brain and fire new fires up in those neurons in our brain to be able to think differently and to react differently. And I promise you, I know this sounds like Courtney, where are you going with this? I'm just giving you the background of all of this and how amped I am about it, but I'm letting you know it's not some complicated scientific formula that you are going to have to figure out and then learn how to apply. It is not that at all. It's actually much simpler than we think it is. So today we're bringing these together. We're going to look at what's actually happening in the reactive moment, what scripture says about who you are underneath all of that. And then I'm going to give you a simple four-step tool that you can use starting right now. Okay. Grab your coffee, or maybe you're going to go on a walk, grab your walking shoes, or start folding that laundry and listen in. Be ready to take notes if you need them. You can pause this at any time. Okay. All right. Let's talk about the lie that we believe. So There's this lie that so many of us are carrying that the way that I react is who I really am. I still think this way sometimes I'm just gonna be transparent about it. There are times where I just come to the end of my rope. I'm really tired. It's the end of the day. It's been a long one. Maybe it's had a lot of challenges, you know, as I'm ebbing and flowing through the different roles that I am in. And by the end of the day, I can get snappy. Especially during bathtime when everyone's fighting over who's gonna take a bath first and everyone needs me and I can just become the worst version of myself in that moment. I do so many like that audible sigh. That's more than a sigh. you know, just this audible complaining that I'm like, why don't you guys just listen? And can we not be fighting over who gets in the bath next? And mommy's getting really frustrated now, you know, and I just verbalize how I'm feeling. And I used to be much worse than that. I used to raise my voice. I used to stomp out of the bathroom. Now I just I complain out loud and it's not I wouldn't say actually one is worse than the other. It's still n a nasty heart posture, right? So I still get there sometimes that I believe the way that I react is the real version of me. I'm like, man, would I react like this in church on a Sunday? No. So why am I reacting like this now? This must be the real me. And I can spiral so quickly. I have to catch it, okay? There's times where maybe you yell, you decide that you're an angry person, or you shut down and you decide that you're a cold-hearted person, or you spiral into worry and you say, I just have anxiety. And one moment in time, one hard moment, or maybe several hard moments throughout your day or week, becomes a label that you identify with. And here's what happens when we believe that label. Okay, we stop trying to change because why would we fight who we really are? Like that's where our brain goes. Why would I fight this? If this is who I am, I'm gonna walk in that identity. Right? Maybe you've heard the verse about speaking life, or maybe you've been introduced in your church culture, church you know, healing classes and things like that, that you have to break up with lies that were spoken over you. And denounce those lies that were spoken over you because our brains will attach to these lies that have been spoken over us, whether by somebody else or by ourselves, or just thought about ourselves, and we will live out of that place because we we truly believe it. And again, in our minds, we just stop fighting, trying to get past that because that just must be who we are. Or we try to fix it with pure willpower. Okay. We promise ourselves tomorrow. I will be the patient mom. And then when tomorrow comes and we're tired again and the kids get loud and we do the exact same thing, guess what happens? We just broke a promise to ourselves. We now feel worse. We are more tired and more on edge than yesterday because we just did it again and we cannot believe ourselves. And then this cycle keeps going and going and going and going. Okay. And so let me just say this plainly: a reaction is something you do. Write it down. A reaction is something you do. It is not someone that you are, okay? And anything you do, you can learn to do differently. Okay. Anything you do, you can learn to do differently. Look at sports. Look at how many times you know they they practice, they practice, they practice because their instinct is to move in just a a slight wrong way, where they don't hit the home run, where they can't get to the ball in time, whatever it is. Okay. And they go through training and practice to literally rewire their steps. To create new muscle memory to do it in the way that is going to be more successful. And we could do the same thing without ever having to practice sports. Isn't that great for my non-athletic people? This is not a pep talk, okay? This is actually and literally how behavior works. So I want to talk about that. This is the science of our reaction, okay? In behavior analysis, one of the first things we learned is called the ABCs of data. And do not worry, this is not a test for you. It is simple. Once you see it, you will start seeing it everywhere. A means antecedent. Okay. That's what happens right before something happens. It is the trigger. It is the milk spilling. It's the text from your mother-in-law. It's the third mom, mom, mom, mom, mom in a row. Okay. That's the antecedent. B is very simple. It's the behavior. This is actually what you do, right? You yell, you slam a cabinet, you go slime silent. Maybe you're like furiously scrubbing the dishes. Okay. Or you grab your phone and you scroll to them out. That's the behavior. So, right, we had our trigger, which is the A antecedent, B is your behavior, and C is the consequence. Immediately, our brain thinks consequence as negative. That's actually not what it means in my world. Consequence in my world means it's just the thing that happens directly after that behavior occurs. Okay. This is the part that almost no one talks about. And here's the big idea: behavior that keeps happening is usually getting us something. Not because We're wrongfully created, right? Because we are human. So when you yell, what happens? The noise often stops. The kids hear that you're louder than them. So they they chill, they freeze, right? You get a few seconds of quiet. That is reinforcing. That's why you yell again the next day. Your brain literally tells you, okay, yelling worked. And when you shut down and walk away, you escape the overwhelm for a minute and your brain puts that in the notes too, okay? Your brain remembers all of these things the way that you feel in every part of this, the antecedent, the behavior, and the consequence. So your reaction is not proof that you're broken. It is actually a pattern that your brain learned because in the short term, it actually worked for you. It just costs you something in the long term. And that's where we get spiritual, right? Short-term sacrifice, long-term gain. We have to look at what it's giving us in the long term, because in the long term, I want the good fruit. And if the short term gives me momentary. relief or momentary reinforcement, but in the long term, I'm getting rotten fruit. I need to change that. And that should be our our biggest motivator right there. Maybe it doesn't feel motivating in the moment. It feels overwhelming, but stick with me, okay? There's one more piece I want you to know. Before the trigger, there's usually something I like to call the quote unquote already factor. In my field we call these setting events, okay. These are things that make the trigger hit harder than it normally were, would right? So Think about this. You were already tired. You already skipped lunch. You were already overstimulated. You were already running late. You were already carrying a really hard conversation that you had with your husband this morning. And then the milk spilled, right? So the milk wasn't the problem. The milk was just the last straw on a full load that you were carrying. So why does this matter? Because if your reactions were just who you are, right? Your identity, the only option would be to try harder to be a different person. Right? Not fun. Okay. But if they are a learned pattern, we can work with the pattern and we can change what comes before. We can practice something new in the middle and change what comes after. There's a whole sequence that we can do. And it's like, this is where I really in my own walk. Started looking at my days as dancing with the Lord because I would see I would get overwhelmed, right? Let's just take the milk spilled example. I'm overstimulated. Everybody's really loud. We were running late. We were trying to get to mom's group. Okay. Now milk just spilled. Or I want to know my real life example. Actually getting to mom's group. This is years ago. My real life example. I'm looking around the house, trying to get the kids to the door, and I just see the mess everywhere. I see my house is already messy. Now I'm picking them up to put them in the car and here's my last straw. Pick up the last one and realize you have a poopy diaper and we are already running late. So now I have to go back into the house where I'm like, my goodness, there's a mess everywhere. I don't have time to pick up this mess. We're already running late. I don't want to change this poopy diaper right now. And I start just stomping around, stomping around. So when my kids are mom, mom, mom, mom, mom in the car, I'm like, I can't do this anymore. And I'm breaking down before mom's group, before mom's group, where I'm supposed to come in and connect with women and be excited to be there. And I don't want to go at all anymore. Okay. Because this is just how I'm feeling. So this is me in the moment, right? Now, if I wanted to try to be a different person, I could try to willpower my way through a good heart and a good attitude in that moment. But that's only going to get me so far because in all honesty, my willpower is pretty weak and I really need the Lord. I'm just being fully transparent with you here. And I cannot just change in a moment. And I cannot carry that willpower through every single day of motherhood because this is my life. This is what I do on the daily, right? I have to practice and I have to change. And that gives me hope. And it also lines up beautifully with what with what God tells us in scripture. Okay, so let's go to that part. So we've looked at our situations and our reactions. We've looked at the science of it all. And now we're going into the scripture. Okay. If you've ever felt like you were doing the thing that you said that you wouldn't do, then you're in good company because listen to Apostle Paul in Romans 7 15. For I do not understand my own actions, for I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Paul, who wrote much of the New Testament, okay? This is, I mean, his words obviously have meaning if they're in the Bible and he's writing them. He knew the cycle. He felt the pull of these old patterns, but he never said, This is just who I am. Because he knew where his identity came from, right? In 2 Corinthians 5.17, he says, Therefore, if anyone is in Christ Jesus, he's a new creation. The old has passed away. Behold, the new has come. Your identity, it was settled on the cross. You don't have to fight for it. Okay. You don't have to muster up willpower to be this new person. You are who you are because that's who you are, because God loves you and he sent his son to die for you. Period. No questions asked. Not in your worst moment in the kitchen are you trying to figure out your identity. Not when your reactions are very real and very human and maybe even sinful. Okay. Are you becoming a new identity there? Your identity came from what God already did for you. Those things that happen and the reactions that come out of you. Don't get to name you and don't get to decide how you move forward in your everyday life because they are your identity. Your identity is as a daughter of the Most High King. And when you cling to that, okay, you can still struggle, but you can walk through these situations with a much lighter, lighter gait, I guess they call it, like the way that you walk, right? You can, you can go into it with more hope because you know. where your identity is, right? And in just a few verses after Paul's struggle in Romans 8.1, he says, There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Okay. So that s shame spiral that happens when you snap, that is not the voice of God. When I realized that, I was like, my goodness. I'm stuck in this cycle because I'm striving in every area of my life as a mom, as a wife, as all these different things, right? In ministry, I'm trying to be these different versions of myself based on my identity in each of those. And I'm very true to who I am. It was very similar across the board, but because I was trying to fit into these hats, right? That I was trying to put on instead of just having everything come from the overflow of my identity in the Lord, I was so exhausted. I would go through this shame spiral because I could not keep up with that. Who could? To be honest, who could? and so once I started shifting that and recognizing, okay, here's the voice of the enemy, here's what he wants me to believe, here's this shame spiral that I go on. And I had to recognize that when conviction came in, it was hey, that wasn't very loving. Okay. I remember I will never forget, I have shared it on here before, the moment when I I know for a fact it was the first time that I heard the Lord in my motherhood the way that I did. And he I was yelling at my son. I would get so frustrated with him. I just really, really struggled with him when he was between like probably one and a half all the way until he was about three and a half. We just had a really rough two years with him. And I would be crying almost every day, multiple times a day, just going through the thick of it with him. And I was yelling at him. 'Cause he was throwing things and destroying the house once again. So I started yelling, and in the middle of yelling, I just already, I before I even finished the sentence that was coming out of my mouth, I already started to feel shame. And then I heard the voice of the Lord come in. And so clearly it was like in my mind, in my heart, in my with my whole body, felt like he was literally putting his hands on my shoulders and said, Get down on his level, soften your tone, look him in the eyes. And I did, I got down on his level and I looked him in the eyes and I softened my tone. And he responded to me so differently in that moment. And I recognized God can help me with this. The voice that I've been listening to is the voice of the enemy. And it only makes me spiral harder because it makes me feel worse about myself. And when I feel worse about myself, then my reactions are even worse. But if I pause even for a moment in the middle when that conviction sets in, I can so clearly hear from the Lord and He can be my helper. In all this. That changes things. That makes me feel like I don't have to muster up the willpower to be striving through all this. Okay. Now here's where science and scripture are really gonna meet in Romans 12, 2. It says, Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind. That by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Transformed by the renewal of your mind, right? Okay, renewal is a process and it can happen. One and done. The Lord is amazing and he could just wipe things away and make you new and that's wonderful. A lot of the times though, he allows us to muster up this strength and this muscle in this area by constantly returning back to him to be able to get that renewal. And that's actually part of the science that comes in, right? We're just making new waves in our brain, new patterns in our brain, new roads that our our neurons are firing down to be able to consistently be this newer version of ourself. It's what behavior science calls a learning. Pattern, right? and what scripture calls being made new day by day and by the spirit. And when you take both of these into consideration, it's like, okay, I can be transformed by the Lord. All I have to do is return back to Him. And in that transforming, something's happening in my brain scientifically because of the way that the Lord made me. How cool is that that you're not stuck? You are literally not stuck. Okay. So smile. Take a deep breath with me. Doesn't it feel so good to know that you're not stuck there, that you can actually transform and that you don't have to put in the work, you just have to come back to the foot of the cross over and over and over again? when I recognize that for the first time, I literally jumped on my bed. I remember texting Megan, my friend, who you guys have heard from on here before and we'll be hearing more of in the future. And I remember saying, like, I feel like I'm doing these trust falls with the Lord. And she was like, Girl, do a little prophetic act right now. Like fall, trust fall onto your bed. Like trust fall into his. I'm like, Megan, I literally just did because I just felt so light in his arms. And I I could feel him so near to me, like, hey, daughter, this is where I wanted you all along. You don't have to be perfect, but you have to recognize my presence in the middle of the hard things with you so that I can walk you through the next best choice and and not react but respond. And I wanted to respond because I wanted to be this gentle version of a mom that I knew that I could be, right? Okay, let's look at what's on the list in Galatians 5, 22 through 23. Okay, but the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things, there is no law. Patience, gentleness, self-control. Fruit does not just show up overnight. Okay, it does grow, right? If you think about fruit on a tree, I really think that God gave us plants and all of this to understand Him more. It's a really beautiful thing. They need good soil, they need time, and they need tending to. You're not failing because you're still growing. You are growing. Allow yourself to grow into this new version of you that you want to become. Allow the yourself to be susceptible to the teachings and the the recourse, right? When the the Lord just like, hey, we're gonna shift over this way instead. Follow him, follow him into that and trust that he is going to bring you into this new place where the good fruit does grow. You're not gonna see fruit overnight. That's part of the long-term gain. These little choices will add up and you will see the good fruit over time, but you have to be okay with not seeing it immediately. And when you don't see it immediately, not going back to that old way of thinking of, I'm just failing because I'm not seeing the fruit right away, right? Okay. I want to go into the root method. Okay. This is gonna give you the practical way to live this out so that you are not feeling like, well, what did Courtney just teach me? Why is she getting all science-y on here and talking about behavior analysis? It's because you guys, I am like blown away at how these two worlds can collide, I want to give it to you in a way that you can understand. Okay, so we're making it practical. I'm going to give you four steps for when your heart starts pounding, whatever your tell is, when you ball your fists up, when your shoulders raise up to your ears, when your heart is in your chest or in the middle of your throat, I want you to do this. R for root, right? R is recognize you're already, what already is happening. What makes me more likely to react when I'm tired, when I'm hungry, when I'm rushed, when I'm overstimulated, when the laundry is piled up from the day before? I want you to pick the top two things. And then I want you to plan around them. If you know you need a snack at three o'clock so that you can make it through that dinner time part of the day that most people call What do they call it the witching hour, right? It's just this tension point in the home where everybody's lived a day already and people aren't eating the meal and they're ready to start resting. And sometimes attitudes are up and complaining is up. Okay. Maybe you need some headphones during the dinner rush. Okay. That's not selfish. That's stewarding what you you have right now to do the thing that you need to do to be able to work on that rewiring of your brain and to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Put some worship music on. Okay, you are tending to the soil when you recognize you're already your settings, your circumstances, the situation you're in. Then you're gonna first observe the pattern. So you recognize now you observe. For one week, I want you to get curious about what's going on instead of critical of yourself. When you react, I want you to jot down three things. What happened right before, then what did I do, and then what came right after? Remember that's your ABC. And there is no judgment or condemnation in this. You are just collecting information, all right. Then we're gonna move into the other O, right? R O O. So this one is offer a replacement. This is huge. Okay. This is a big one in my behavior science world. You can't just stop a behavior and leave the space empty. Our brains don't know what to do. Okay. You will search for the next thing. This is why when people go to rehab and then they get placed back in the real world, it's really, really difficult. And a lot of people will relapse because they haven't replaced the behavior in full. And so they're still looking for that same feeling. Their brains are searching for it and they can't help but go back to the old thing because they don't know the new thing to go to. So we are going to offer. A replacement. You need something to do instead, okay? Something that meets the need. So something my husband did when he recognized that he would raise his voice. And my one daughter is very sensitive to anybody raising their voice, even by one decibel. Okay. And so he would start whispering. He would just whisper. Even if he was frustrated, his words might not even be the nicest. He might be like, I said, you know, but he would just move to a whisper. And it would give him the same fulfillment as when he was raising his voice, but it wouldn't change the tone of our entire home, okay? So think about what you can do as a replacement. Maybe you put both hands on the counter. It's just so you can feel the cold counter and you take a deep breath instead of slamming down a spoon or a dish or something like that. Maybe your go-to phrase, this is mine, mommy needs a minute and then I can help you. And I literally will set a timer for a minute and just tell myself, okay, breathe in, breathe out. God, you need to help me through this and just like have a little conversation with him and then I go into helping them. maybe you just Pray one line, like Jesus, I need you. And then you go and you answer. You just have to break that behavior chain and you have to give a replacement to what you used to do. And it's gonna feel awkward at first, okay? That's normal. New patterns feel really like clunky before they feel natural. but I want you to try to practice some of these and see how it feels for you. And then T. So we're in the root, right? T. Tend with grace and we're gonna repair. the old things that needed repairing. So you're going to miss sometimes. I still do. Okay. I still make mistakes. I am human. When you do, we're going to skip the shame spiral and we're going to go straight to repair, right? What I did before when I started yelling with my my son and then the Lord prompted me to get down. That's immediate repair. Hey buddy, I didn't mean to yell. This is what I need you to do. We're not going to throw. Mommy's going to help you pick up these toys and we're going to do it differently next time. Ready and he gave me a high five and we picked them up together. repair is one of the most powerful things that you can model for yourself, for your kids, for your husband, for your friends. It shows that a hard moment does not define a person or a relationship. It is so healthy to do this. And then you receive that grace. In Lamentations 3, 22 through 23, it says the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness. So remember that just because you made a mistake. doesn't mean it's all over and you have to, you know, go back into the shame spiral. It means that you have a chance to repair, to reflect as you go to bed that night and think about, okay, how am I going to do that better tomorrow? Not, I can't believe I did this tomorrow. I'm going to fix this. Don't get into that because as soon as you mess up again, shame spiral happens, right? We're just going to recognize and we're going to think, what worked better today? What can I do better tomorrow? Just one thing. And you're going to invite God into it all. Okay. If this episode hit home, I want you to know this is exactly the kind of work that we're doing right now inside Road to Rooted. And while I'm not opening up doors for registration anymore in 2026, I do have a guide that's going to be able to walk you through a lot of this in a simpler way. It's not going to give you the mentorship aspect of it, but it's available now on my website and I will put it in the show notes for you. I highly recommend going through that. It's a game changer. And if you want to keep this conversation going, come find us in the Rooted Woman Connection on Facebook. And then tell me which step you're starting with this week. I would really love to cheer you on. Let me pray for you. Father God, I just thank you that we are not defined by our worst moments. And God, that we are not stuck in the way that we react or respond right now in this season when maybe we are feeling like we are in survival mode or we are feeling like we are the way that we react. When we're not finding our identity in you, we're finding it in our responses or in the hats that we wear, in these different roles and responsibilities we have. So God shift. Our mind, you say that you can do it, you can transform and renew our minds. And I just pray that for the woman who is listening today, Lord God, that you will help her to surrender, to take off the hat, to come to you, to be filled up by you, Lord, and then to go into each and every role that she has or hat that she wears and do it from the outpouring. as a daughter of the most high king and not as just a mom or a wife or any of these other labels, Lord. And I just pray, God, that you will begin to allow her to recognize where things are already stirring up in her heart that she will be able, Lord, to observe the patterns going on around her, that she'll be able to hear your still small voice to be able to walk into a replacement for the things that maybe she used to do, to be able to respond instead of react, Lord. And when things happen, when we mess up, when we just show our human flesh, Lord, and we maybe sin or go back to old ways because we're in the already, but the not yet. Lord, I just pray that we can tend to the those situations in our hearts and the situations even with other people and relationship with them with grace and that we can repair those things, Lord, with you, just being our guide the way that you did with me and my son, Father. And so I just pray, Lord God, against any shame. I pray against this shame cycle that some of these women are are stuck in, Lord, and that you will just hold out your hand, that they will take it and they will walk off of that hamster wheel, Father, and that you will walk them into what you have for them. Lord, I thank you, God, that you gave our bodies this beautiful work system inside of us, God, that will allow our thought patterns and our responses and reactions and behavior to be reworked and to create new pathways and to be able to think differently. When you said renewing of your mind, you literally meant that we can renew and change the way that we think. And so, Father, I just pray that women will start to see that as they implement some of this this week, Father, that they can see they are not stuck where they are, that there is more for them, and you are a God of abundantly more, that they can't. access all the fruits of the spirit that you have to offer, Father, and that they can walk into the long-term gain of good, good fruit in their life God, you're a good father, and we just submit all of it to you in Jesus' name. Amen. All right, as you go out of this week, just remember your reactions are something you do. They are not who you are. You are his. and if this episode encouraged you, would you take ten seconds to leave a rating or review? It will help other women to find the show and share it with a friend who you think needs to hear it today. I'll see you back here next week.