Latest / Bent Not Broken: Starting Over After Divorce | Post Divorce Life / Life Can Change on a Dime: Starting Over When You Thought You Had It Figured Out

Transcript

Life Can Change on a Dime: Starting Over When You Thought You Had It Figured Out · Bent Not Broken: Starting Over After Divorce | Post Divorce Life

0:33
SPEAKER_00: Life can change on a dime.
0:36
SPEAKER_00: We hear that phrase all the time.
0:39
SPEAKER_00: But until it happens to you, I don't think you fully understand what it means.
0:44
SPEAKER_00: One minute you think you know what the next chapter of your life is going to look like.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: You have a plan.
0:51
SPEAKER_00: You have goals.
0:52
SPEAKER_00: You think you finally figured out where you're going.
0:56
SPEAKER_00: And then life says, not so fast.
1:00
SPEAKER_00: Hi, I'm Coach Deborah, and today I want to talk about something that's very real for me right now.
1:07
SPEAKER_00: Getting back into the workforce at age 67.
1:11
SPEAKER_00: And trying to figure out how in the world I'm supposed to do it all.
1:17
SPEAKER_00: For years I've talked about writing your next chapter.
1:20
SPEAKER_00: I've coached women through divorce, starting over, rebuilding their confidence, rediscovering who they are, and learning that it's never too late to begin again.
1:30
SPEAKER_00: And here's what I'm learning.
1:32
SPEAKER_00: You don't just write one next chapter.
1:35
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes life hands you another blank page when you weren't expecting it.
1:41
SPEAKER_00: I found myself back in the workforce at a stage of life when I thought things might look very different.
1:48
SPEAKER_00: And I'm grateful that I have decades of experience to bring with me.
1:53
SPEAKER_00: I'm grateful that I'm capable of doing the work.
1:56
SPEAKER_00: But that doesn't mean it's easy.
1:58
SPEAKER_00: Because I'm also still Coach Deborah.
2:01
SPEAKER_00: I'm still a podcaster.
2:03
SPEAKER_00: I'm still a writer.
2:05
SPEAKER_00: I'm still a woman with dreams, responsibilities, relationships, and a life outside of work.
2:13
SPEAKER_00: And some days I find myself asking the same question so many women ask.
2:19
SPEAKER_00: How am I supposed to do all of this?
2:23
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're asking that question too.
2:25
SPEAKER_00: Maybe life changed on you.
2:27
SPEAKER_00: A divorce happened.
2:29
SPEAKER_00: A relationship ended.
2:31
SPEAKER_00: You lost your job.
2:33
SPEAKER_00: Your financial situation changed.
2:35
SPEAKER_00: Your children left home.
2:37
SPEAKER_00: Someone you love became ill.
2:40
SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you simply woke up one morning and realized the life you carefully planned isn't the life you're living.
2:48
SPEAKER_00: And suddenly you're juggling things you never expected to be juggling.
2:54
SPEAKER_00: Here's the coaching lesson I want both of us to remember.
2:58
SPEAKER_00: We have to stop measuring ourselves against the life we thought we were going to have.
3:03
SPEAKER_00: That's where so much of the pressure comes from.
3:07
SPEAKER_00: We tell ourselves I should be further along.
3:10
SPEAKER_00: I shouldn't have to do this at my age.
3:13
SPEAKER_00: I should have more energy.
3:15
SPEAKER_00: I should be able to keep up.
3:18
SPEAKER_00: I should be able to do it all.
3:21
SPEAKER_00: But who said we have to do it all?
3:25
SPEAKER_00: Maybe this season isn't asking us to do everything.
3:29
SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's asking us to decide what matters now.
3:34
SPEAKER_00: That's a very different question.
3:37
SPEAKER_00: And when life changes, our priorities are allowed to change with it.
3:42
SPEAKER_00: Our schedules can change, our goals can change, even our definition of success can change.
3:49
SPEAKER_00: Something that worked six months ago may not work today.
3:53
SPEAKER_00: And that isn't failure, that's adjustment.
3:57
SPEAKER_00: So if you're struggling to do it all right now, I want you to try something with me.
4:03
SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself three questions.
4:06
SPEAKER_00: What absolutely needs me right now?
4:10
SPEAKER_00: Not everything that's screaming for my attention actually deserves my attention.
4:15
SPEAKER_00: What can I temporarily put down?
4:19
SPEAKER_00: Putting something down doesn't mean you're giving it up forever.
4:22
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we're just simply saying, not right now.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: And finally, what am I doing because I think I should rather than it because it still matters to me?
4:35
SPEAKER_00: That's a big one.
4:37
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the person putting the most pressure on us is the woman looking back at us in the mirror.
4:45
SPEAKER_00: I'm learning this right alongside you.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: I'm learning that I may not be able to work, run a business, produce a podcast, write, maintain relationships, take care of myself, and check every box every single day.
5:00
SPEAKER_00: And maybe I'm not supposed to.
5:02
SPEAKER_00: Maybe balance isn't getting everything done.
5:05
SPEAKER_00: Maybe balance is knowing what deserves your energy today, and giving yourself permission to let the rest wait.
5:12
SPEAKER_00: At 67, I still believe it is not too late.
5:17
SPEAKER_00: Not too late to work, not too late to change direction, not too late to dream, and not too late to say, this isn't working anymore, so I'm going to try something different.
5:31
SPEAKER_00: And definitely not too late to write another chapter.
5:35
SPEAKER_00: I've survived enough chapters of my own life to know that the unexpected chapter isn't always the ending.
5:42
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's the chapter that redirects the entire story.
5:46
SPEAKER_00: So if life has changed on a dime, don't immediately ask, how am I going to do all of this?
5:54
SPEAKER_00: Instead, ask, what does this season of my life need from me?
6:00
SPEAKER_00: Then start there.
6:01
SPEAKER_00: One decision, one priority, one day at a time.
6:06
SPEAKER_00: You don't need to have the entire next chapter figured out today.
6:10
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you just need enough courage to turn the page.