Latest / Lean Out Podcast / Dharma with Elizabeth Hubbell

Transcript

Dharma with Elizabeth Hubbell · Lean Out Podcast

• 0:00
  Welcome to the lean out podcast.
• 0:02
  I'm your host, Dr.
• 0:04
  Don baker.
• 0:05
  Are you looking for a new approach to authentic and sustainable work-life balance?
• 0:10
  You've come to the right place.
• 0:12
  Listen as i interview amazing women professionals who've taken steps to lean out and find balance on their own terms Hello?
• 0:20
  Hello.
• 0:21
  Thanks for being here.
• 0:23
  Before we get started with today's conversation.
• 0:25
  I'd like to take a moment and let you know about something special I'd like to offer you for the month of December.
• 0:32
  This month, I'm placing a 20% discount on all my coaching packages.
• 0:37
  So this is basically like getting one free session.
• 0:42
  The holidays can be a time when we feel even further away from our vision of work-life balance, with constant reminders of family obligations.
• 0:52
  And also sometimes.
• 0:54
  A lot of work to finish in Q4.
• 0:57
  If you've been contemplating coaching, but you haven't reached out to me yet for a consultation.
• 1:03
  Now is the time to take advantage of this discount.
• 1:07
  You can contact me for that complimentary.
• 1:11
  Coaching consult by going to www dot practice balanced.
• 1:16
  Dot com.
• 1:17
  Slash get in touch.
• 1:19
  And that is where there is a link to schedule the call.
• 1:24
  Today, I'm talking with Elizabeth Hubbell, a friend, fellow yoga instructor, and fellow author.
• 1:31
  Elizabeth is an R YT.
• 1:32
  YT 500 wellness coach and freelance writer passionate about living a plant-based alcohol free life.
• 1:40
  In 2021, she left a career as an instructional designer with a background in K-12 higher ed and adult learning.
• 1:48
  She is the author of rethinking alcohol through the eight limbs of yoga.
• 1:53
  Just recently published.
• 1:56
  Elizabeth.
• 1:57
  And I met in yoga teacher training and I asked her to be on the show to share her lean out journey from our professional education background.
• 2:05
  One we haven't heard much about on this show.
• 2:08
  She shares the epiphany's that informed her unique work-life balance choices today.
• 2:13
  I hope you enjoy this conversation with Elizabeth.
• 2:18
  EH-Dawn: Elizabeth Hubble, welcome to the show.
• 2:21
  EH-Dawn: I'd love it if you would introduce yourself.
• 2:24
  EH-Elizabeth: It's an honor to be here.
• 2:26
  EH-Elizabeth: I'm Elizabeth Ross Hubbell.
• 2:27
  EH-Elizabeth: I am an RYT 500 yoga instructor and wellness coach.
• 2:33
  EH-Elizabeth: This is my second half of life career, if you will.
• 2:37
  EH-Elizabeth: I came from education, consulting and instructional design prior to that.
• 2:42
  EH-Elizabeth: So yeah, thrilled to be here.
• 2:44
  EH-Elizabeth: Thank you.
• 2:45
  EH-Dawn: You are welcome and we know each other from our initial yoga teacher training, which we did together, in 2022 and you have continued to pivot to this as your, like you said, second.
• 3:00
  EH-Dawn: life career.
• 3:01
  EH-Dawn: So can you tell me about why you decided to do that and what was the situation that led you to part ways with your education profession?
• 3:12
  EH-Elizabeth: Yeah.
• 3:12
  EH-Elizabeth: A couple of reasons.
• 3:14
  EH-Elizabeth: I've served a lot of roles in education.
• 3:17
  EH-Elizabeth: I was a teacher, and then I consulted and trained teachers, and then I got into higher ed instructional design.
• 3:23
  EH-Elizabeth: So part of it was just, I had kind of filled every role that I felt I wanted to fill in that particular profession.
• 3:32
  EH-Elizabeth: But more than that, The job I was in just became overwhelming.
• 3:36
  EH-Elizabeth: Especially with the pandemic hit, I just felt like I was constantly online, constantly stressed.
• 3:43
  EH-Elizabeth: As I aged, I felt that I was being listened to less, which was really...
• 3:49
  EH-Elizabeth: Unsettling, you know, this is at the point in my career and in my, my age when I, when I felt I should have a bigger voice, I have so much more experience than I did in my 30s or 40s.
• 3:59
  EH-Elizabeth: And I felt that, yeah, my voice was being heard less.
• 4:03
  EH-Elizabeth: And, and since I left, I've read so many things about women experiencing this in their 40s and 50s.
• 4:09
  EH-Elizabeth: Just kind of being, I don't know, pushed to the side, if you will, in their careers.
• 4:15
  EH-Elizabeth: And then simultaneous with all of that, I was going through some personal metamorphosis.
• 4:20
  EH-Elizabeth: I went vegan.
• 4:21
  EH-Elizabeth: I started really paying attention to my diet and nutrition.
• 4:24
  EH-Elizabeth: I got really into yoga.
• 4:27
  EH-Elizabeth: I started questioning alcohol and taking longer alcohol breaks.
• 4:31
  EH-Elizabeth: And I found that this was what excited me.
• 4:34
  EH-Elizabeth: You know, health and wellness, especially in the second half of life.
• 4:37
  EH-Elizabeth: was all I wanted to talk about, and eventually I just thought, you know, wouldn't it be nice if this was what I could spend all my time thinking and doing and helping people?
• 4:48
  EH-Elizabeth: Like, wouldn't it be nice if this was my job?
• 4:50
  EH-Elizabeth: And that kind of planted a seed of, um, what I wanted to do with my life and what life could look like if I wasn't spending 40, 50 hours, doing education and so in early 2021, there was this big reorg in my company, not well timed and not very well planned.
• 5:12
  EH-Elizabeth: And that was, I just took that as a sign.
• 5:14
  EH-Elizabeth: It's time for me to pivot and do something I really love doing.
• 5:18
  EH-Elizabeth: Probably a longer answer than you wanted, but that was, that was how I got to where I am.
• 5:22
  EH-Dawn: That is a very good answer and it's multi faceted what I'm hearing is a couple of things you Felt like you had had enough.
• 5:34
  EH-Dawn: You knew what the enough point of the roles in that particular profession were for you and you had reached it.
• 5:41
  EH-Dawn: And then also you had this budding interest in health that was personal.
• 5:46
  EH-Dawn: And then that was expanded into wanting to serve others in a different way.
• 5:51
  EH-Dawn: And as far as the ageism goes, That's very interesting.
• 5:56
  EH-Dawn: And I have not had any guest or know anyone who has really talked about this much, but I am sure that it happens quite a bit.
• 6:03
  EH-Dawn: And I wonder if you would expand on that just a little what was a pivot point where you realize that this was a problem?
• 6:11
  EH-Elizabeth: Sure.
• 6:12
  EH-Elizabeth: I'm Gen X, right smack in the middle of Gen X.
• 6:15
  EH-Elizabeth: I was born in 1972 so one example that comes to mind was when I started at this company, that was my final corporate job.
• 6:23
  EH-Elizabeth: I was one of the older people working there.
• 6:26
  EH-Elizabeth: A lot of people were younger than me.
• 6:28
  EH-Elizabeth: And what I had come from was a consulting job in K 12 where I helped teachers implement technology tools into their classrooms, you know, I was, I was an ed tech consultant, had co authored several books on implementing technology in the classroom, I mean, I considered myself pretty savvy, and it was interesting to join this company where in the first couple of weeks of working there the assumptions that I didn't know technology and I thought, gosh, that's weird.
• 6:55
  EH-Elizabeth: You know why I wonder why people would assume this.
• 6:57
  EH-Elizabeth: It took me a while to realize, it took me a while to even call it ageism.
• 7:02
  EH-Elizabeth: I was just in this, you know, kind of twilight zone for a while.
• 7:04
  EH-Elizabeth: What is happening?
• 7:06
  EH-Elizabeth: buT yeah, there was this assumption that I didn't know technology because I was in my 40s, which is, you know, anyone who knows generations knows that Gen X was introduced to technology tools really early, what middle school, something like that.
• 7:19
  EH-Elizabeth: So that was the first.
• 7:20
  EH-Elizabeth: The first thing that struck me, and then I worked there for six years and over the course of six years, there were just so many times where my ideas were not accepted were not heard.
• 7:30
  EH-Elizabeth: And then a short time later, someone younger than me with the exact same idea that would get embraced and applauded that happened more times than I can count.
• 7:40
  EH-Dawn: OKay, so this started happening over a time period, you were noticing it increasingly, and then when there was a reorganization in the company, you decided it was time to pivot.
• 7:51
  EH-Dawn: So what was the decision making process like for you?
• 7:55
  EH-Dawn: How did you explore what you wanted to do next?
• 7:59
  EH-Elizabeth: Yeah, the financial piece came in.
• 8:02
  EH-Elizabeth: My husband and I had discovered FIRE, Financial Independence Retire Early, a few years prior and had gotten really serious about lowering our cost of living and increasing our savings.
• 8:14
  EH-Elizabeth: That had been happening for maybe three years before I actually quit.
• 8:18
  EH-Elizabeth: We had been good savers all the way through, but we got really laser focused on saving.
• 8:24
  EH-Elizabeth: And by the time 2021 came around, we were starting to be, um, the lingo is coast fi.
• 8:29
  EH-Elizabeth: You can coast to financial independence.
• 8:31
  EH-Elizabeth: You've got the nest egg, you're not totally financially independent, but you've got the nest egg so that you really don't have to save as aggressively anymore.
• 8:39
  EH-Elizabeth: If you can leave that nest egg alone, it'll grow and will provide for you.
• 8:44
  EH-Elizabeth: So we had reached Coast 5 by 2021.
• 8:47
  EH-Elizabeth: I have a wonderful partner, a wonderful husband, and he just noticed how miserable I was.
• 8:51
  EH-Elizabeth: Especially mentally and energy wise, just not doing well.
• 8:55
  EH-Elizabeth: And he said, why don't you just step away?
• 8:57
  EH-Elizabeth: You know, what would you want to do?
• 9:00
  EH-Elizabeth: And I, at the time, I couldn't really articulate what I wanted to do.
• 9:04
  EH-Elizabeth: And so I left, my last day was June 30th, 2021.
• 9:08
  EH-Elizabeth: The week after my last day, I booked a yoga class at our local botanic gardens.
• 9:12
  EH-Elizabeth: And I remember so distinctly, I was in warrior three, you know, sweat dripping from my forehead, my legs shaking.
• 9:20
  EH-Elizabeth: And there was this bliss.
• 9:22
  EH-Elizabeth: There was just this, Oh my God, I love this.
• 9:25
  EH-Elizabeth: I am so where I'm supposed to be right now during this yoga class.
• 9:30
  EH-Elizabeth: And I'm out in the garden surrounded by flowers and I just thought, I don't know, that was that seed that got planted of here's where I'm supposed to go, here's what I'm supposed to do.
• 9:39
  EH-Elizabeth: It was that moment in Warrior 3 in yoga class.
• 9:41
  EH-Elizabeth: So that's what that pivot looked like.
• 9:44
  EH-Dawn: So many of my guests talk about how they got the confidence to lean out from what they were doing from a situation that wasn't right for them or that was unsustainable.
• 9:56
  EH-Dawn: Because they had saved money because they had lived more simply, and they had made a decided effort with their family members in order to save up a nest egg so that they could have more freedom to pivot to whatever they wanted.
• 10:12
  EH-Dawn: So it's wonderful that you also found that.
• 10:17
  EH-Dawn: So after this yoga class that you took in the garden and you had this epiphany, this is where I'm supposed to be.
• 10:24
  EH-Dawn: What did you do to decide?
• 10:28
  EH-Dawn: Your next move for changing careers,
• 10:32
  EH-Elizabeth: for six months, I was, I was just in a learner mode.
• 10:35
  EH-Elizabeth: I wasn't in a doer mode.
• 10:37
  EH-Elizabeth: And I went to yoga class, and I was reading books, and I guess, I guess you could just call it a six month sabbatical.
• 10:44
  EH-Elizabeth: You know, I really wasn't producing anything.
• 10:47
  EH-Elizabeth: I was just, I don't know, self healing, I guess, is what I was doing, but it really was a lot of yoga.
• 10:54
  EH-Elizabeth: Really was questioning alcohol.
• 10:57
  EH-Elizabeth: And then after that six month sabbatical, so now we're in January 2022, things started happening really quickly.
• 11:05
  EH-Elizabeth: I started blogging.
• 11:06
  EH-Elizabeth: I started writing again, which I love.
• 11:08
  EH-Elizabeth: And I noticed that more often than not, what I wrote about was, a path to wellness.
• 11:13
  EH-Elizabeth: You know, I was writing about a plant based diet and the benefits.
• 11:16
  EH-Elizabeth: I was writing about the benefits of taking alcohol breaks.
• 11:19
  EH-Elizabeth: I started writing about the benefits of yoga and what I was noticing from, this big turn I'd taken in the last six months and somewhere that spring, I thought, gosh, I should take my yoga teacher training.
• 11:31
  EH-Elizabeth: And it was so funny.
• 11:32
  EH-Elizabeth: It was like this.
• 11:34
  EH-Elizabeth: Clap of thunder almost, I joke that I feel like the God smacked their foreheads and went, Oh my God, she finally got it.
• 11:40
  EH-Elizabeth: She finally understood it was yoga teacher training.
• 11:43
  EH-Elizabeth: And so, yeah, dove into that.
• 11:45
  EH-Elizabeth: That's where I met you.
• 11:47
  EH-Elizabeth: Then everything they talk about when you find your dharma, Stephen Koch talks about when you find your dharma, how all these doors start to open.
• 11:55
  EH-Elizabeth: And that's exactly what happened.
• 11:57
  EH-Elizabeth: You know, I, once I made that decision to take my yoga teacher training, Avaya reached out via LinkedIn and started working for Avaya.
• 12:05
  EH-Elizabeth: I started getting this idea for a book about rethinking alcohol through the eight limbs of yoga.
• 12:10
  EH-Elizabeth: 'cause I saw such a nice parallel between what I was learning in yoga.
• 12:14
  EH-Elizabeth: My path to, doing away with alcohol.
• 12:17
  EH-Elizabeth: So many doors just started opening once I made that decision.
• 12:21
  EH-Dawn: I love that.
• 12:23
  EH-Dawn: And another theme that you touched on was taking a sabbatical or a break period where you were just with yourself in stillness and how that helped to clarify things.
• 12:35
  EH-Dawn: So tell me about what your life looks like on a weekly basis now.
• 12:41
  EH-Dawn: What kind of things are you doing, day to day?
• 12:45
  EH-Elizabeth: I hope this doesn't sound cheesy, but I am 100 percent in my dharma.
• 12:49
  EH-Elizabeth: Because money isn't the goal.
• 12:51
  EH-Elizabeth: Thank goodness because I'm not making a lot of it.
• 12:53
  EH-Elizabeth: Um, I'm, I'm spending my time doing what I love.
• 12:58
  EH-Elizabeth: So I'm either writing articles or, promoting my book.
• 13:04
  EH-Elizabeth: I've just come out with some journaling cards that go with the book so helping people as they're going through month long breaks from alcohol, really dive deep and examining.
• 13:14
  EH-Elizabeth: What makes them drink, when they started drinking, what's making them question alcohol in their lives.
• 13:20
  EH-Elizabeth: I'm connecting with people with everything from yoga to health and wellness to, You know, we get together every full moon and new moon and talk about our intentions.
• 13:33
  EH-Elizabeth: I mean, just everything that I.
• 13:35
  EH-Elizabeth: always did on the side and maybe even a little secretly is now out in the open and it's what my job is, quote unquote.
• 13:43
  EH-Elizabeth: I am fully living my dharma.
• 13:46
  EH-Dawn: And tell us the name of your book again and when it is released.
• 13:51
  EH-Elizabeth: Yeah, it's been out for a month it's rethinking alcohol through the eight limbs of yoga.
• 13:57
  EH-Elizabeth: When most people think of yoga, they think of the asanas, the poses, and that was certainly my entryway into yoga.
• 14:03
  EH-Elizabeth: But as I started going through my yoga teacher training and learning about the kind of moral codes of yoga, the yamas and niyamas, and that includes things like ahimsa, which is non harm.
• 14:13
  EH-Elizabeth: And, Aparigraha, which is non greed.
• 14:17
  EH-Elizabeth: Santosha, which is contentment.
• 14:19
  EH-Elizabeth: Once you start unpacking all of those, it, for me, it made so much sense to look at those through the lens Of any kind of wellness endeavor, but especially with alcohol, and yeah, I just started putting those things together I saw this really nice parallel of the journey I'd been through and these tenants of an ancient practice.
• 14:39
  EH-Dawn: Just to go into more detail on your journey with separating from alcohol, was that something that you naturally did during your self healing time or was there a particular pivotal moment?
• 14:53
  EH-Dawn: I know that a lot of listeners have probably thought about this or are in a position where they don't feel like they're alcoholic but they rely too much on alcohol for numbing behaviors or for, taking the edge off when they're in a difficult situation at work or in life.
• 15:15
  EH-Dawn: So how did it look for you?
• 15:18
  EH-Elizabeth: Exactly that.
• 15:19
  EH-Elizabeth: I was a, a social drinker.
• 15:21
  EH-Elizabeth: I loved champagne.
• 15:22
  EH-Elizabeth: I loved wine.
• 15:24
  EH-Elizabeth: I considered myself a wine connoisseur.
• 15:26
  EH-Elizabeth: You know, we would go to tour vineyards and I had a great periodic table on my wall.
• 15:31
  EH-Elizabeth: It was just, wine was my thing.
• 15:33
  EH-Elizabeth: Yeah.
• 15:35
  EH-Elizabeth: And I just started questioning, you know, especially as I moved through my 40s, and I started noticing my body reacting differently to the same amounts of alcohol that I used to be able to drink and have no problems with.
• 15:49
  EH-Elizabeth: And I just started really questioning how healthy this all was, you know, I totally bought into the thing where, oh, a glass of wine a day is good for you, I totally bought into that.
• 15:58
  EH-Elizabeth: I just started asking questions.
• 15:59
  EH-Elizabeth: Is this really as healthy as I think it is?
• 16:01
  EH-Elizabeth: You know, I know it's an addictive substance, but I don't consider myself an addict, and yet, you know, there's a disconnection there.
• 16:10
  EH-Elizabeth: aNd so I tried my first Dry January in 2018, and that was a huge wake up call, because it was, I use the word excruciating, it was so hard to go through that month without alcohol.
• 16:24
  EH-Elizabeth: And I actually made it to mid February to my birthday, and that was just a big wake up of just, oh, I don't know when it happened where I couldn't go a night without thinking about having a glass of wine.
• 16:35
  EH-Elizabeth: When did that happen, so I did dry January 2018, and then I did it again in 2019.
• 16:41
  EH-Elizabeth: And all this time I was doing some reading, you know, Andy Grace's This Naked Mind book was really pivotal for me.
• 16:49
  EH-Elizabeth: And I started to realize, except for some breaks along the way, I've, in my adult life, I've never really gone a long time without alcohol in my system.
• 16:59
  EH-Elizabeth: So I've taken month long breaks.
• 17:01
  EH-Elizabeth: We were trying to have a family at one point, so I certainly took breaks during that time.
• 17:05
  EH-Elizabeth: But just a really long break from alcohol.
• 17:09
  EH-Elizabeth: So I decided in 2019 I was going to do Sober Summer.
• 17:12
  EH-Elizabeth: Cause summer's the hardest time to not drink, especially here in Colorado.
• 17:16
  EH-Elizabeth: We have all these outdoor breweries and, you know, wine in the park and rosé all day, all that stuff.
• 17:21
  EH-Elizabeth: I was like, well, if I can do a sober summer, I can do anything.
• 17:25
  EH-Elizabeth: And that sober summer turned into a sober year.
• 17:28
  EH-Elizabeth: And I just learned so much during that year of how much I had been relying on alcohol, how much damage I was doing to my body.
• 17:36
  EH-Elizabeth: So it was a slow process.
• 17:37
  EH-Elizabeth: I call it my four year sober curious journey.
• 17:40
  EH-Elizabeth: I Don't consider myself coming from a place of addiction and recovery.
• 17:45
  EH-Elizabeth: I don't really use those words, but yeah, just really rethinking the substance that is so common in our society.
• 17:52
  EH-Dawn: Yeah, I think there are so many people that are in that place that you were in and don't consider themselves addicts like you said and still at the same time could benefit from doing what you did.
• 18:07
  EH-Dawn: My personal relationship with alcohol is that I, like you when I'm trying to have a family just stopped.
• 18:17
  EH-Dawn: It was never something that really mattered that much to me socially.
• 18:21
  EH-Dawn: Definitely would drink at parties, but my husband isn't really a big drinker, never really liked alcohol.
• 18:27
  EH-Dawn: So we didn't keep much in our house.
• 18:30
  EH-Dawn: I would sometimes.
• 18:32
  EH-Dawn: Drink at home to just have a relaxing night, but it wasn't very common.
• 18:38
  EH-Dawn: It was fairly easy for me to stop because of doing infertility treatments and such, and I never started back up.
• 18:45
  EH-Dawn: It was just something that I absolutely don't miss in my life, and I feel like I'm more healthy.
• 18:50
  EH-Dawn: I also have something that I don't have to spend that money on, because it can be expensive.
• 18:57
  EH-Elizabeth: I talk about that in my book.
• 18:58
  EH-Elizabeth: You know, I use financial software and I finally drilled down just to see between wine
• 19:04
  EH-Dawn: How much?
• 19:05
  EH-Elizabeth: and going out.
• 19:06
  EH-Elizabeth: Yeah.
• 19:07
  EH-Elizabeth: 6, 000 a year at our peak.
• 19:10
  EH-Elizabeth: Drinking.
• 19:11
  EH-Elizabeth: I know.
• 19:12
  EH-Dawn: Yeah.
• 19:13
  EH-Dawn: Now, did your husband stop drinking at the same time?
• 19:17
  EH-Elizabeth: Pretty much the same thing.
• 19:19
  EH-Elizabeth: We don't keep it in the house anymore.
• 19:21
  EH-Elizabeth: You know, when he goes out with friends, he's going to go visit his best friend in Indiana here soon.
• 19:26
  EH-Elizabeth: I'm sure he'll have some beers, but for the most part, yeah, yeah, he joined me and he looks back to and goes, Whoa, we were, not on a good path.
• 19:35
  EH-Elizabeth: I'll say,
• 19:36
  EH-Dawn: Yeah.
• 19:36
  EH-Dawn: So if you want to save for that nest egg for your next career pivot to do something unusual and lean out, get off the treadmill of achievement, maybe that might be a place where you could save some money.
• 19:50
  EH-Elizabeth: Totally.
• 19:52
  EH-Elizabeth: If you go out and order wine, and you buy a few bottles, and you have a wine club, you get to 150 a week really quickly.
• 19:58
  EH-Elizabeth: Another part of the alcohol journey was this job I took in Japan, and I'll first say I love Japan, I loved Tokyo, under different circumstances, I would go back there in a second, but the job was really awesome.
• 20:11
  EH-Elizabeth: Not a good situation.
• 20:12
  EH-Elizabeth: And so that was when I noticed that turn in how I used alcohol.
• 20:17
  EH-Elizabeth: It had gone from a hobby into how I coped with a really stressful situation.
• 20:24
  EH-Elizabeth: And that eventually led to that 2018 Dry January.
• 20:26
  EH-Elizabeth: So, just, yeah, for your listeners, I would say just pay attention.
• 20:31
  EH-Elizabeth: Pay attention to when you want to pour that drink.
• 20:34
  EH-Elizabeth: What emotions are going through your mind right then.
• 20:37
  EH-Elizabeth: Because if it's stress or anger or, wanting to, to feel at ease socially, Like, really pay attention to what those triggers are, because that can, that can unpack why you're drinking.
• 20:52
  EH-Dawn: Very good advice.
• 20:53
  EH-Dawn: Pay attention to triggers, and it may not be drinking for you.
• 20:57
  EH-Dawn: It can be shopping or even overworking in another capacity, overexercising, doing things that relieve pressure.
• 21:07
  EH-Dawn: Yeah.
• 21:08
  EH-Dawn: Yeah.
• 21:08
  EH-Dawn: Before
• 21:09
  EH-Elizabeth: Definitely.
• 21:10
  EH-Elizabeth: Yeah.
• 21:10
  EH-Elizabeth: You use as an easy fix, whereas really a walk outside or doing some breath work or doing some yoga would get you to a much better place more quickly.
• 21:23
  EH-Dawn: wrap up, you have talked about some interesting ways you've leaned out.
• 21:30
  EH-Dawn: It's not just departing from a corporate job that had a reliable income an accepted regular type of job to move to something that was more uncertain, unusual, that maybe some people consider to be fringe or woo woo, but also departing from the drug that is very popular socially in this country and around the world that if you don't partake in, people tend to think you're strange.
• 22:02
  EH-Dawn: What has been the hardest part of all of this leaning out journey for you?
• 22:09
  EH-Elizabeth: That's a great question.
• 22:12
  EH-Elizabeth: The hardest part has been getting used to, you know, to the outside observer.
• 22:18
  EH-Elizabeth: I'm in a really traditional marriage now.
• 22:20
  EH-Elizabeth: My husband makes the income.
• 22:23
  EH-Elizabeth: I teach yoga, quote unquote, um, yeah, if you don't know the particulars of my story and where I came from professionally and financially, it appears we're in a really traditional marriage, and as someone who considers myself a feminist, That was a really hard pill to swallow of how do I suddenly make this pivot because I do, I clean the house now, I do all the cooking, I, you know, all these things that are traditional, women's jobs in a marriage.
• 22:52
  EH-Elizabeth: And yet that's not our marriage at all.
• 22:53
  EH-Elizabeth: This is just kind of how we find ourselves and what works now.
• 22:56
  EH-Elizabeth: So the hardest part for me has been balancing, being a feminist and yet leaning out away from a career.
• 23:05
  EH-Elizabeth: How I talk to myself as well as how I articulate that to other people and, and help them understand this is a second half of life career.
• 23:13
  EH-Elizabeth: This isn't how it's always been.
• 23:15
  EH-Elizabeth: To me, that's the hardest thing is balancing feminism with, leaning out from a corporate job,
• 23:21
  EH-Dawn: That's a really interesting point you raised you have this part of your identity, which is that you're a feminist, and part of our identities are something that are related to our values and what we feel inside is most important, but part of identities is also this external.
• 23:40
  EH-Dawn: Thing how other people perceive you and so keeping that identity in the sense of how you feel it internally, but letting go of external validation from other people and how they might judge you saying, Well, she's not a feminist.
• 23:59
  EH-Dawn: Well, she's in something traditional and and letting go of that side of it.
• 24:04
  EH-Dawn: That's a really good distinction that you're making here.
• 24:08
  EH-Elizabeth: Yeah, I love what Elizabeth Warren says.
• 24:11
  EH-Elizabeth: She talks about, you know, every woman needs an FU fund
• 24:15
  EH-Dawn: Yeah,
• 24:15
  EH-Elizabeth: and I, and I so cheer that on because there's no way I'd be doing this if I hadn't worked so hard for so many years, saved well and built that nest egg.
• 24:26
  EH-Elizabeth: There's no way I'd be doing this, so, yeah, if you don't have the FU fund yet, start working on it.
• 24:32
  EH-Dawn: yep, yep.
• 24:34
  EH-Dawn: Is there any other advice that you would like to give in closing today to women that are feeling burned out, overwhelmed, maybe experiencing some of the things that you experienced?
• 24:46
  EH-Dawn: Ageism, numbing out with a substance or with a behavior that isn't really healthy for you,
• 24:52
  EH-Elizabeth: yeah, two things and I know this is, this is cliche, but life is really short.
• 24:57
  EH-Elizabeth: You know, I'm 51 now.
• 24:59
  EH-Elizabeth: I think I have several decades ahead of me, but who knows?
• 25:04
  EH-Elizabeth: And I'm so grateful that even if my last day was tomorrow, I am so grateful the last two years have looked the way they have, there is this peace and living life the way I think humans are supposed to live in the last two years that I wouldn't trade for anything.
• 25:21
  EH-Elizabeth: So, so that's one is, life is short and really think about how you think you're supposed to be spending your life.
• 25:27
  EH-Elizabeth: And if it doesn't look like The way you think you're supposed to be spending it.
• 25:31
  EH-Elizabeth: Start working on that change.
• 25:33
  EH-Elizabeth: And then the second is, the power of meditation.
• 25:37
  EH-Elizabeth: Prior to 2016, I rarely meditated.
• 25:40
  EH-Elizabeth: I'm not even sure I thought it was.
• 25:42
  EH-Elizabeth: That's something I quote unquote believed in, you know, meditation was something other people did, the woo woo, as you said.
• 25:49
  EH-Elizabeth: And then I just started getting up early in the morning in 2016 and started doing like a five minute silent meditation and then five minutes of yoga.
• 25:59
  EH-Elizabeth: And these tiny moments were the first time I sat and listened to myself.
• 26:03
  EH-Elizabeth: I quieted that internal chatter.
• 26:06
  EH-Elizabeth: And all these epiphanies started to emerge during that time.
• 26:09
  EH-Elizabeth: I was tired of working for other people.
• 26:12
  EH-Elizabeth: I had done everything I wanted to do in education.
• 26:15
  EH-Elizabeth: Those quiet moments in the morning ultimately helped me realize there was more to life than job titles and raises and navigating office politics.
• 26:23
  EH-Elizabeth: So if, if you're not meditating, even for five minutes.
• 26:27
  EH-Elizabeth: Do it.
• 26:27
  EH-Elizabeth: Just stop and listen to yourself.
• 26:29
  EH-Elizabeth: Listen to your inner wisest voice because she will or he will emerge.
• 26:35
  EH-Dawn: I love that.
• 26:36
  EH-Dawn: You point out that starting small is the way to cultivate a sustainable practice and it doesn't have to look a certain way.
• 26:44
  EH-Dawn: It can be imperfect.
• 26:46
  EH-Dawn: You can have thoughts during your meditation and you're still doing something.
• 26:50
  EH-Dawn: You're still making the effort to have the stillness.
• 26:53
  EH-Dawn: So great advice.
• 26:56
  EH-Dawn: Elizabeth, thank you so much for being on the show.
• 26:58
  EH-Dawn: It's been wonderful to talk with you.
• 27:01
  EH-Dawn: I'm linking all of your places where people can find you and can purchase your book in our show notes.
• 27:10
  EH-Dawn: Really appreciate you coming on today.
• 27:12
  EH-Elizabeth: Thank you, Dawn.
• 27:13
  EH-Elizabeth: It's been a pleasure.
• 27:16
  EH-Elizabeth: Well, that was an interesting conversation with some topics that we haven't delved into on this show before.
• 27:23
  EH-Elizabeth: What did you think?
• 27:24
  EH-Elizabeth: Was it too woo for you?
• 27:26
  EH-Elizabeth: Let me know by sending me a DM or responding to the contact form on my website.
• 27:32
  EH-Elizabeth: Here are my takeaways from our conversation.
• 27:35
  EH-Elizabeth: Number one.
• 27:37
  EH-Elizabeth: Don't be in a hurry to figure out your work-life balance, solve your most pressing life problems, et cetera.
• 27:44
  EH-Elizabeth: Elizabeth used a period of stillness and self discovery to help her figure out her next moves.
• 27:51
  EH-Elizabeth: This might look like a break between jobs.
• 27:53
  EH-Elizabeth: Uh, sabbatical during a job that you currently have, or even just taking a retreat can be helpful, but consider a longer break to get the most insights.
• 28:04
  EH-Elizabeth: Number two.
• 28:05
  EH-Elizabeth: Rethink behaviors you're currently engaging in that might be detracting from the life you want.
• 28:12
  EH-Elizabeth: This is all part of the self knowledge and reflection process.
• 28:16
  EH-Elizabeth: Consider switching it up with a 30 day period of abstinence.
• 28:20
  EH-Elizabeth: Go meatless, alcohol free, quit social media, or maybe something else.
• 28:26
  EH-Elizabeth: Elizabeth leads a dry January, and she has participated in this herself.
• 28:31
  EH-Elizabeth: Even if you go back to the thing that you quit, you learn a lot about yourself in the process of a challenge like that.
• 28:40
  EH-Elizabeth: Number three.
• 28:42
  EH-Elizabeth: Remember your identities are formed both internally and externally.
• 28:47
  EH-Elizabeth: Who you really are, is separate from the identities you hold.
• 28:52
  EH-Elizabeth: And you have the power to let go of any of them whenever you want to.
• 28:57
  EH-Elizabeth: My parting question to you is what identity or identities would you like to let go of in 2024?
• 29:07
  Thanks for listening to the lean out podcast.
• 29:09
  If you find these conversations inspiring and useful, please forward them to a friend and also leave a review on iTunes or Spotify so that other people can find them easier.
• 29:22
  If you want to get in touch with me, you can find me at my website, practice balanced.com, where you can subscribe to my newsletter and get updates regularly about new podcast episodes, blog posts, speaking, engagements, and coaching services.
• 29:38
  You can also support my work by buying my book, lean out a professional woman's guide to finding authentic work-life balance for yourself, a friend, family member, or coworker.
• 29:50
  Have a great day and we'll see you next time