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Menopause Weight Loss: What Actually Works After 40 · Create The Best Me

• 0:00
  Carmen Hecox: Have you ever felt like perimenopause did not knock politely? It kicked down the door and brought burnout with it and said, surprise, we live here now. Today's guest, Terry Tateossian, calls that moment, open up, it's Peri. And for her, Peri showed up with burnout, insulin resistance, emotional eating, alcohol, health scares, and 80 pounds she But here's what I love about Terry's story. She didn't change her life by finding the perfect diet. In fact, she says she probably read every diet book on Amazon before realizing diets were helping her gain weight, not lose it. In today's conversation, Terry shares how she rebuilt her health in her 40s, lost more than 80 pounds, learned how to eat in a way that actually supports her body, and made strength training a non-negotiable part of aging well. And stay with us because near the end, Terry gives us one of the simplest, I don't have time to cook meal ideas that may completely change the way you look at healthy eating. Help me in welcoming Terry to the show. Terry, welcome to Create the Best Me. This is an honor and a privilege to have you on the show.
• 1:26
  Terry Tateossian: Thank you, Carmen. It's a pleasure to be here. Thank you for having me.
• 1:30
  Carmen Hecox: So Terry, I have read all about you and I'm impressed. Please tell us a little bit about who you are, what you do, so that you can impress the listeners and viewers as much as I've been impressed with what I've read about you.
• 1:45
  Terry Tateossian: Of course. So I currently run women's wellness retreats for women in midlife, where we integrate yoga, nutrition, strength training, time in nature, we talk about sleep, hormones, and all the things that come with midlife. And so that, but that wasn't always the case, right? So before I pivoted and changed my career, I used to be in the digital tech space. And that's when things kind of began. That's where the story begins.
• 2:25
  Carmen Hecox: And so what was your rude awakening that you needed to pull back and start focusing on Terry?
• 2:33
  Terry Tateossian: I didn't just have one rude awakening. I had many. So where— which one should I start with?
• 2:41
  Terry Tateossian: Many rude awakenings. I wasn't exactly raised as in the traditional sense. So not born in the country, immigrated here. Lots of change, lots of needs, need to adapt, to transform over and over again. And so my MO or my default setting was to work a lot.
• 3:12
  Terry Tateossian: And so I did that and eventually overworked myself. And so when perimenopause came into the picture of my life and knocked on the door and said, open up, it's Peri, I didn't really know what I was signing up for. I didn't even know I was in perimenopause. But that's when things really hit the fan. So all the wheels started coming off, things started exploding everywhere. And that's— that was really— one of the pivotal moments where I really, I was at a loss. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know who to ask for help. I didn't know what was happening. And that's, you know, the experience most of us have.
• 3:52
  Carmen Hecox: Yeah. And I think that a lot of us have that friendly knock on the door.
• 3:59
  Carmen Hecox: We ignore it because it's very gentle. But you finally had that breaking down the door. And you had to face it. And that, in my opinion, is— was it burnout that just— perimenopause invited its best friend burnout to come and say, hey, Terry, guess what?
• 4:19
  Carmen Hecox: We're home.
• 4:19
  Terry Tateossian: Well, obesity, burnout, insulin resistance, ovarian cysts, alcohol— they were all there before peri showed up.
• 4:31
  Terry Tateossian: And so all— they all kind of ganged up on me all at the same time. Now, maybe if I hadn't gone into peri- perimenopause, I would have been able to withstand stress, burnout, being 80 pounds overweight, drinking alcohol every night, and all those other things if I hadn't gone into perimenopause early. So in a sense, thank goodness for perimenopause at 37, uh, because that, that was really the knock on the door that forced me to reevaluate what the heck was I doing with myself. Um, because it was the cherry on top. If I hadn't gone into early onset menopause, I probably would not have made as many changes as I made.
• 5:18
  Carmen Hecox: And I think those were life-saving changes, in my opinion.
• 5:22
  Terry Tateossian: For sure. Yeah, for sure. No doubt.
• 5:26
  Terry Tateossian: There's no argument about that.
• 5:30
  Carmen Hecox: And so I remember reading that you used to work 16 hours a day. And this is— this was just normal Terry. This was your driver. Your driver was to do 16 hours a day.
• 5:41
  Terry Tateossian: I still work 16 hours a day, except my work is different now, right? And so the work now actually aligns with my health. It aligns with my goals. It aligns with my identity and what I'm looking for. You're either made up of that breed or you're not, but it looks different. Right. And so it looks very different now because my job now is to strength train. My job is to be on par and current with health and wellness research and trends and knowing the things that can contribute to better health long-term. And so I love that and it, it actually aligns with my health rather than oppose it.
• 6:29
  Carmen Hecox: And so your shift, because you were working in digital marketing, you, from what I understand, you took a step back and you started to reevaluate yourself, started to learn more about yourself, figure out what you needed to change in order to create a better, healthy lifestyle for yourself. And then from that, you created the business that you're currently doing that you're passionate about. Is that correct?
• 6:59
  Terry Tateossian: Exactly, exactly. So, you know, anybody that's ever worked in an— at an agency, you're going to find this very familiar because it's not— it's not unusual. I'm not special or unique in this case. Working in a digital agency nowadays really is a 24-hour job. There's no off time, right? So there's no way to turn off your phone and ignore the clients. And so it just never ends.
• 7:25
  Terry Tateossian: Okay. It never ends. And it's very stressful. Uh, it's not exactly very rewarding either. For some people it could be.
• 7:36
  Terry Tateossian: Uh, for me it was not. And so, yeah, and that's where I found myself, extreme burnout.
• 7:46
  Carmen Hecox: But through this learning who Terry is and what's good for Terry, You managed to lose 80 pounds. Can you talk about how that process took place?
• 7:57
  Terry Tateossian: Yes, lots of trial and error. I joke around all the time that I read all the diet books on Amazon. There's apparently 30,000+ diet books on Amazon and every kind of diet you can imagine. And, you know, for a go-getter, Type A workaholic, once you get your something— once you set your mind on something, you're just going after it like, you know, a dog with a bone. And so I was on a mission.
• 8:25
  Terry Tateossian: I, I decided I was gonna change my weight, and I started everything. I did everything.
• 8:33
  Terry Tateossian: I did 30 different diets, and eventually I came to the conclusion that they were actually helping me gain weight rather than lose weight, because I would lose some weight temporarily, and then it would come right back, plus some. And so eventually, after many trials and errors, I realized diets don't work. And now, 10 years later— actually, 13 years later, I'm going to be turning 50 this year— I can explain that in a much better way. And so the reason why traditional diets don't work is because they create a restriction that is not sustainable. And so you can do the diet through willpower for, let's say, 90 days, you will see a result. But then as soon as you go right back to your normal habits, and your environment hasn't changed, your identity hasn't changed, you tend to compensate for that weight loss by eating even more food and then regaining the weight plus some.
• 9:36
  Carmen Hecox: And I think another thing is that why diets don't work is that they're very radical. It's just like they're telling you, you can't have this, you can't have that. And you're just like, oh, I just want to get into that beautiful dress, or I just want to get into that bathing suit. And then you get into that bathing suit and you're like, I want to do the things that make me happy now that I'm in this bathing suit.
• 9:57
  Carmen Hecox: I want to go out to dinner and have these potatoes and steak, and I want to have dessert.
• 10:04
  Carmen Hecox: And, you know, you do that and then you're back to where you were at and you're like, this— I feel like I'm in prison. To me, I look at diets as sort of a prison.
• 10:18
  Terry Tateossian: For a short period of time, but then you have to learn how to integrate all those foods into your regular life without gaining the weight back, right? And so diets to me now, 13 years later. A diet food is not any different from food that I would eat if I were not on a diet. They would just be configured differently, depending on what your goals are and what phase you're in.
• 10:45
  Carmen Hecox: But you, like you said earlier, is you did a lot of trial and error to try to figure out what worked for you because— and what I like about you is that a lot of people tend to say, here, you know, I'll help you lose weight. And they'll give everyone the exact same diet and the exact same workout routine.
• 11:06
  Carmen Hecox: If you want to look like me, this is what you have to do. And from what I understand, your approach is different. You don't look at it that everybody should eat the same thing.
• 11:19
  Terry Tateossian: Well, people have different dietary restrictions. They have different dietary intolerances. They have different dietary requirements. Right. And every body is literally different. So, uh, some of us have different hormone metrics, right? So some of us are not even in perimenopause, some of us are in perimenopause, some of us are fully menopausal. So it really depends on each individual. And so my opinion is that nutrition should be bio-individual, meaning that it should align with what your body is requiring at this particular time. Because, you know, also the body changes over time. So whatever might have worked for you in your 20s is not necessarily going to be the right approach in your 40s and 50s. And so the, the nutritional requirement changes for the same body from as time goes on. And so it's very important in my opinion, and this is one of my biggest regrets over in at the age of 50 is that I didn't have nutritional literacy much earlier. I didn't really understand how all this worked. I didn't understand what the foods were comprised of. And so I feel like that was really the missing piece that, uh, changed everything for me, understanding nutrition.
• 12:44
  Carmen Hecox: Because I know that I used to do that too, is I would grab an entire avocado, cut it in half, and I'd throw half of it into my green smoothie, my spinach smoothie. And then I'd look at my body, I'm like, nothing is happening.
• 12:55
  Terry Tateossian: Mm-hmm.
• 12:58
  Terry Tateossian: Very common. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, in cases like that, my first approach would be to really get super granular and surgical with your nutrition, really understanding where your calories are coming from and understanding the breakdown is for protein, carbs, and fat. Right, and then looking into what your strength training routine looks like. What is the intensity? Are you loading progressively?
• 13:26
  Terry Tateossian: Are you increasing strength over time? You know, are you doing resistance training, or are you doing things that are more for stability, mobility, like yoga, Pilates, walking, running?
• 13:37
  Terry Tateossian: You know, those are great. I'm not saying don't stop doing them, but they're very different from resistance training specifically. And so for women.
• 13:45
  Terry Tateossian: You know, in midlife, strength training is basically a non-negotiable if you want to maintain muscle tissue. And then once you have those dialed in, right, once you have your nutrition and resistance training dialed in, then you really understand, are you lifting weights to the intensity that is required for muscle growth, right? So it's a whole thing.
• 14:11
  Terry Tateossian: It's a whole topic there. And is your nutrition dialed in? Meaning, are you eating enough protein?
• 14:18
  Terry Tateossian: And what do your carbs and fat look like in the total caloric intake, as far as percentages? All right? And so once you have those 2 levers dialed in, I would look at hormones for sure.
• 14:30
  Carmen Hecox: So when were you able to finally dial in and figure out what type of movement you needed to do to accomplish the weight loss or, or gain muscle?
• 14:41
  Terry Tateossian: I, I do all of it. I love moving in every possible way.
• 14:52
  Terry Tateossian: The difference between the different modalities is what they are actually for. So for example, number one priority, period, is strength training, right? So that's the first thing that takes priority. So if I ran out of time and I said, should I do yoga, Pilates, walk, cardio, or strength training?
• 15:17
  Terry Tateossian: Always, it will always be strength training. So get that done as a non-negotiable. And then I personally love yoga. I think it regulates, helps me personally regulate my nervous system, my emotional state. It helps with your fascia health. It helps with lymphatic, with the lymphatic system. So there's a lot of benefits to yoga, mental health, breathwork, all of that, right? And so I love, I've always loved yoga and Pilates. Now this is one of the things I've added in the last couple years, but they are something that I do on my recovery days, right? So when I'm not doing strength training, I'll pick up a yoga class or Pilates class.
• 16:03
  Terry Tateossian: Walking happens every day. That's another non-negotiable. And then cardio for cardiovascular health.
• 16:10
  Terry Tateossian: So cardio is really great for, for that particular reason, not necessarily for weight loss, but, you know, a little bit of it. You don't need to do hours and hours of cardio. You can do 15 to 30 minutes depending on what your goals are. But those are the things that I, I love. I love them.
• 16:30
  Carmen Hecox: What about like the meals? Because I know it's so funny that here we are, we're in our 40s, 50s, and we have to learn food because we thought we knew it. And we're, you know, and we're, as a woman, we're the ones who are feeding our families. We're preparing meals for our family, but here we are, we have to learn, relearn nutrition and what foods are important for our body in order to keep us sustainable. You know, how does that work?
• 17:04
  Terry Tateossian: Yes. So most people are eating a carb-fat bomb for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And so changing that mindset to, well, I'm going to eat Protein-forward meals that have a higher proportion or higher ratio of protein compared to carbs and fat takes a bit of adjustment. And so there's a shift in mindset, I feel like. Like, we talk ourselves out of it rather than figuring out how to be resourceful and actually make it work for us.
• 17:41
  Terry Tateossian: Because when you start eating more protein— Then the ratio of carbs and fat, your calories will also naturally go down. You're going to feel fuller longer. And when you add fiber into that, you, you have a great formula there for feeling full, keeping your blood sugar stable, for not needing to snack in between meals, for getting enough protein in midlife, all the things, right?
• 18:10
  Carmen Hecox: But I think the other issue is that focusing on eating that much protein requires a little bit more work as opposed to, I'm just going to grab a frozen pizza out of the freezer, pop it in the oven, and family's fed. Or the Alfredo, whatever.
• 18:32
  Carmen Hecox: Some of these things are more easier to prepare than it would be to do meal preps or just focus on trying to ensure that you're getting the proper amount of fiber and protein in your 3 meals that you would have per day?
• 18:47
  Terry Tateossian: There is a bit of a learning curve, right? So there's a shifting in how you think about food and there's a relearning or developing new habits.
• 19:03
  Terry Tateossian: And, in my opinion, that is the hurdle, right? So that is the difficulty. It's not really in the preparation of the food or the food itself, it's how we think about it. And so it takes for me, it took a long time to rewire my brain in that way because when you've been doing something for 30, 40 years in a certain way, it's going to take a minute, okay? I needed a minute, all right? But the goal really is to really understand that this is better for you and that it is going to take time and just to keep working on it and finding more efficient ways.
• 19:43
  Terry Tateossian: Now, From my perspective, I've been doing this now for 12 years. It's a no-brainer. There's literally— I don't have to think about it. I don't have to pre-plan it. I don't have to meal prep it. I go to a restaurant, I know exactly what to do. But that wasn't the case week 1, right? Week 1, it was like deer in the headlights.
• 20:07
  Terry Tateossian: Like, uh, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to eat. I don't know what to make. I don't know how to do this every day. You know, sometimes I would slip up, sometimes I'd get busy, and my brain just didn't have the neural connections to be on autopilot, which is really the goal, right? So when you start a new habit or you start anything new, there's a certain period that you have to give yourself grace where you're not going to quit and just keep plugging away on that pattern, on that habit, on that thought process that you're going to not quit, you're not going to stop, you're going to keep working on that. Eventually, one day you wake up and it's effortless, right? Which is what the goal is. That is the goal. It's not the weight loss, it's not eating the chicken, it's not how much protein. It's for it, the whole thing, to become effortless and almost thoughtless, right?
• 21:03
  Terry Tateossian: And that's when you know that this lifestyle has integrated into your identity. You are now that person that doesn't have to think about it. It just happens.
• 21:10
  Carmen Hecox: And so, Terry, you learned about nutrition and started practicing it. You learned about strength training or movement for your body. When did you discover that the burnout no longer existed?
• 21:25
  Terry Tateossian: Oh my gosh, it's very— it's quiet and it's slow. There's no bell ring. Like, you don't get a memo or an email that says, you're not stressed anymore, right? You just kind of Observe it and it, it, you just kind of, like, you can exhale a little easier, right? You take a breath in and it goes in all the way. Like, you don't struggle to get the breath in. And so you don't always realize it right away.
• 22:02
  Terry Tateossian: It, it, it's a, it sneaks up on you just the way burnout sneaks up on you. And all of a sudden, just boom, just explodes. And you're like, whoa, right? Where did that come from? It's the same way. So when it exits, it exits little by little by little. And then one day, you're just like, oh, I feel good.
• 22:27
  Carmen Hecox: But I think that other people saw it in you.
• 22:34
  Carmen Hecox: And they wanted to be like you. They wanted your help.
• 22:38
  Carmen Hecox: Isn't that how your business began?
• 22:39
  Terry Tateossian: Yes. So it, it's so interesting because people always ask me, so how did you decide to become a coach? I'm like, didn't decide. And I get the questions, uh, also like, oh, how did you decide to do yoga retreats?
• 22:53
  Terry Tateossian: And how did you find this place? And it, you know, I joke around.
• 22:57
  Terry Tateossian: I mean, I say it as a joke, but it's really not a joke. I am being serious. I did did not. It found me.
• 23:03
  Terry Tateossian: It came to me. I didn't really sign up to go do that. It was just— it just happened organically. And in some sense, I've always been a coach.
• 23:16
  Terry Tateossian: I feel, you know, my daughter says it all the time, stop being my coach, be my mom. Because that is just your personality. You want to see the best in people. You want to see— you want to do the best for people. You want to help people get as good and as better, as much better as you possibly can. So you give everything that you have to give all the time, right? And so having a company, a lot of it is coaching. A lot of it is really understanding people and knowing and seeing their potential before they even see their own. And so I, in a sense, always been that. I just never did it in this capacity.
• 23:56
  Terry Tateossian: And so what ended up happening is I lost a ton of weight. So like people that have known me for decades, let's say I would go out to lunch with someone that I haven't seen in a while, and I would walk in and they have a vision of me that's 210 pounds and I'm 5'3.
• 24:14
  Terry Tateossian: So, you know, not very tall, but pretty overweight, right? And so— I would walk in and they would look right past me. Like they were looking for me, but I was right there, but they didn't recognize me.
• 24:30
  Terry Tateossian: And so I would be like, hello, I'm right here. And so it was such a shock, right? It was such a dramatic shock.
• 24:37
  Terry Tateossian: And so people would start asking me like, help me. I want, you know, I wanna also do the same. I wanna try. And so I didn't at the time have the certifications, so I would just kind of help people. Just as a friend. And then eventually there were too many people asking for help. So I said, okay, well, maybe the universe is trying to tell me something. Maybe this is my path, you know, maybe this is the thing I'm really supposed to do.
• 25:04
  Terry Tateossian: And maybe I can help people because I really, I have walked that path. I know what it's like to feel desperate, uh, to feel completely out of control, panicked, panicked to get on the scale because I knew it was going to be up 10 pounds, right? Very quickly too. Not— it didn't take me long to gain weight, right? And so I, I got all the certifications a while ago, and then I started working with women directly, and it's truly been the joy of my life.
• 25:43
  Terry Tateossian: I mean, there has never been anything that I've done, and I've had lots of different jobs, 50, so you can imagine, that gives me more joy than helping another woman kind of put— get all the puzzle pieces together. And I am also very grateful to my coach that helped me, right?
• 26:03
  Terry Tateossian: So that's how I figured it all out, because I got tired of fumbling around. So I was looking at all these things, there's all this information out there, all these books I found on Amazon, all these things, and I was confused as hell, right? Everything— everybody said something differently.
• 26:20
  Terry Tateossian: Nobody actually took ownership of, I'm gonna tell you what to do and I want you to do that and it's gonna work for you, and if it doesn't work for you, it's gonna be my fault, right? Nobody took that kind of authority and worked directly with me where I saw results and I saw results immediately. And so I'm super grateful that at least I humbled myself enough to ask for help. And I have had a coach. I had a coach for 10 years. And so now being a coach is extremely rewarding for me personally. So that's how it all happened.
• 26:56
  Carmen Hecox: So Terry, how do you work with women? I know you do the retreats, but do you also do one-on-one and how can women take advantage of that?
• 27:07
  Terry Tateossian: Yes, I do one-on-ones. I do coaching one-on-one.
• 27:10
  Terry Tateossian: It is done virtually so you could be anywhere in the world. You don't need to be in New Jersey or Tennessee. But I do usually start with the retreats, right? So women come to a retreat, they work directly in person with me one-on-one, and then we integrate that lifestyle once they go home and they start coaching one-on-one. And so both ways, right? And then the women transition into coaching from there.
• 27:33
  Terry Tateossian: And yeah, it's— it— for me, I love, I love it.
• 27:37
  Terry Tateossian: So it's my passion.
• 27:38
  Carmen Hecox: So for the woman that is listening or watching right now and says, well, I've been feeding my family for a long time, I can't learn about nutrition because this is all I know. What are 3 things that she can do right now to start learning about nutrition?
• 28:01
  Terry Tateossian: Get a slow cooker, get a pressure cooker, whatever it's called.
• 28:04
  Terry Tateossian: Throw some chicken in there, throw tomato sauce in there, some onions and some potatoes. Shut the lid, turn it on for 3 hours. You got yourself a meal.
• 28:15
  Terry Tateossian: Okay? It's that easy. Turn the rice cooker on.
• 28:20
  Terry Tateossian: Put 1 cup of rice, 2 cups of water, turn that thing on.
• 28:25
  Terry Tateossian: Now you have rice for a couple days. Turn the oven on to 350, 400, put a bunch of vegetables in there, spray them with some olive oil spray, sprinkle some salt and pepper and whatever other spice you want, throw it in the oven for 40 minutes. Now you got a bunch of vegetables. Done. You're done, right? Go to the supermarket, get some Greek yogurt, 0% Greek yogurt, 0% cottage cheese, get some cold-cut turkey, some pickles, some tuna fish, some taco shells, some 96% ground beef. You probably already have these things, right? And just put them together into a meal. Get some protein powder, put that into your yogurt, get some berries, put some berries on your yogurt, sprinkle it with a little bit of granola. There's a breakfast. You don't have to cook anything.
• 29:24
  Terry Tateossian: Quick and easy. Lots of options there for non-cook meals. Okay. You don't have to cook every single meal. I think that's a misnomer where, where people think, oh my God, I can't cook. 3 meals a day. I don't cook 3 meals a day. I put things together that are already made. I just put— I just know what to put together, right? Because I have a standard for how much protein, carbs, and fat I want in that particular meal.
• 29:57
  Terry Tateossian: And then, and then I go off of that rather than just fumbling around making stuff up. I know exactly what my requirements are and I meet those requirements.
• 30:08
  Terry Tateossian: And then I don't have to worry that I'm going to gain weight uncontrollably if I don't want to.
• 30:19
  Carmen Hecox: Terry, where can people learn more about you?
• 30:19
  Terry Tateossian: You can find me on my website, thehouseofrose.com, or on Instagram, @howgoodcanitget.
• 30:26
  Carmen Hecox: I like that.
• 30:30
  Carmen Hecox: Terry, thank you so much for coming on the show. I will include all of your information down in the show notes so that people can connect with you and start becoming a better version of themselves.
• 30:40
  Terry Tateossian: Thank you, Carmen.
• 30:44
  Terry Tateossian: It was a pleasure to talk to you.
• 30:44
  Carmen Hecox: Likewise.
• 30:47
  Carmen Hecox: Thank you very much. I love this conversation with Terry because she reminded us that midlife does not have to be the moment we give up on ourselves. It can be the moment we finally start learning what our bodies need now.
• 31:03
  Carmen Hecox: And remember that open up, it's Peri moment from the beginning? Terry didn't treat perimenopause as the end of her story. She used it as the wake-up call that helped her rebuild her health, her confidence, and her second half of her life. One simple step you can take today is to make your next meal protein-forward. It doesn't have to be fancy. Start with something simple like Greek yogurt, cottage cheese, tuna, turkey, chicken, eggs, or a slow cooker meal you can use for a few days. Small changes done consistently can begin to change how you feel in your body. If this episode encouraged you, please like, share, and subscribe, and share it with another woman who needs to hear that it's not too late to feel Strong, healthy, and proud of herself again. And come back next week for another amazing episode created just for you. If you want to learn more about Terry, work with her, attend one of her retreats, or connect with her, head on over to createthebestme.com/ep185 or click the links down below in the show notes. Until then, keep dreaming big. Bye. Take care of yourself, and remember, you are beautiful, strong, and capable of creating the best version of yourself. Thank you for watching. Catch you next week. Bye for now.