Latest / The Golden Chronicles / Episode 18: Rest- Take It Easy
Transcript
- Danielle: Hi, before we get into this week's episode, I just wanted to share a little bit with you about our sponsor, EAR-GOES High Fidelity Hearing Protection. I've shared a little bit about how I work in live events and how protecting my hearing is something that's really important to me. Well, EAR-GOES was founded by live music professionals and designed for people who need some hearing protection without sacrificing that sound clarity, which is exactly where I fall. I carry mine with me every day and I use them not only for hearing protection, but I also use them to help me stay focused in a noisy venue or on a flight. They do a really great job of reducing the volume without making everything sound muffled. You definitely don't have to work in the live events industry to use them because they are great for attending concerts, they're great for flying, they're great for sleeping when background noise is a problem. Eargoes offers several different styles and levels of noise reduction so you can choose whatever makes the most sense for your life. To check them out, visit EAR-GOES.COM That's E-A-R-G-O-E-S dot com and use promo code Golden for 15% off of your purchase. so I just wanted to apologize to you guys for this episode being so late. It's funny, cause as you'll soon learn, this week's episode is on rest. And your girl has been running nonstop and I needed to get a little bit of rest. which is really hard for me to do. so I needed to take a little bit of extra time to try to rest. Not that it was very successful because resting is hard, but we needed a little bit of extra time. So thank you for being patient with us. Also a little housekeeping. We are going to start releasing episodes every three weeks instead of every two weeks because rest. And also we're changing our release day from Tuesdays to Thursdays. So just wanted to let you guys know. Thank you for being so patient with us. Thank you for always cheering us on. We look forward to chatting with you. Now, for real, let's get into this week's episode. Hi and welcome to this week's episode of the Golden Chronicles Podcast. We are so glad to have you. If you are joining us for the first time, we'd like to say welcome. And if you are a return listener, we'd like to say welcome back. Victoria: Welcome back guys. Danielle: As always, we're glad to have you. following along with kind of what we've been doing recently, we're gonna talk about some things that have been on our mind. We're gonna explore what that means to us and just have honest conversation in hopes of sparking something that will help connect you, connect us with each other and with the ones that we love. Victoria: you know how we do. We like to start with the definition. So rest as a verb is to cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or to recover strength. Used as a noun, the word rest is peace, tranquility. Or freedom from activity. I love those two words, peace and tranquility. we're gonna be talking Danielle: Sounds like you're about to get a massage with some peace and tranquility. Victoria: Ha ha. Danielle: Which I love a massage, you know? Okay, so when you hear the word rest, what immediately comes to mind for you? Victoria: recently what comes to my mind when I hear the word rest is sleep. and those of you who know me well, know that I'm very rigid in my schedule and sometimes I put stress on myself to accomplish goals. And so I'm learning to remember that there is a word called rest and that it is important and that I need it and that I should not be afraid of it. Danielle: Yeah. what comes to mind for me is LOL when rest is hard for me, not gonna lie. So hearing the word rest honestly, I mean it feels like a dream. Like, that's the dream to be able to rest. but it also seems a little bit stressful because I feel like I'm thinking about all the things that need to be done in order to rest, if that makes sense. Victoria: curious as you began to say that I started thinking, do you think I handed that down to you or do you think that it's just where you are in your life now? Danielle: ADHD. Victoria: Or do you think that it's just something that ha is happening to you now because you have such a demanding, stressful career and lifestyle? Danielle: I that's a good question. I know that as a kid you tried to encourage us to rest. And so I don't know if it's something that you passed down because I feel like passed down should have been, I maybe it was do as I say, not as I do. And maybe you weren't resting and maybe that's just something that was passed down. I don't know. It is a little bit of anxiety that causes me to not be able to properly rest. because my mind is always going, there's always something on my to do list in my brain, and so maybe Victoria: Yeah. Danielle: that's why I'm unable to rest. but that could also that could be passed down too, you know what I'm saying? Victoria: do you think it would be counterproductive if we put rest on our to-do list Danielle: I mean, No, I feel like scheduling rest is if that's what works for you, then that's what works for you. But I feel like for me on a to do list it would just keep getting pushed to the next week. I'll rest next week. And that's kinda how I feel like I live my life to be honest. okay, well this week is rehearsals. This week is, moving or whatever, so then I'll rest in three weeks is kind of how live my life. Victoria: Okay, and me having to be on a schedule. if I put rest on my schedule and my things to do list, which is my schedule pretty much. Danielle: Right. Victoria: I think that would be beneficial for me. It would be helpful for me because I have to accomplish the goal of rest, which sounds kind of crazy, but it would be beneficial for me. It would help me to actually rest because it's Danielle: Right. Victoria: something that I have to get, it's something that I have to accomplish. And Danielle: Right. Victoria: the way that I stress myself and you know. my GSD kicks in, Danielle: Mm-hmm. Victoria: it would it would benefit me to have it on my schedule and I could rest knowing that it's on my schedule. Danielle: Right. can't relate. yeah, I feel like that would just stress me out more, which is part of I being different people is that we have different different things that allow us to rest, different things that feel like rest. as kids, you encouraged Terrence and I to have a Sela or a siesta where we didn't do chores, we didn't do school, we were just like kind of forced to do nothing, in order to help us prioritize rest. I remember at the time thinking this is so lame, I just wanna do X, Victoria: Yeah. Danielle: Y, and Z. But w do you feel like your mom helped encourage you to rest or what do you feel like rest was like in your childhood? Victoria: no, my mom did not encourage me to rest. I don't know if I was as high strung, maybe that was why, and maybe she didn't Danielle: Hm. Victoria: think that it was necessary that people just rested when they felt like they needed to rest. but no, I wouldn't say that rest was a priority. chores. Now once I completed the chores that she had established for me, then I Danielle: Mm-hmm. Victoria: could rest, but I don't think I was thinking, I can rest after I get the floor mopped or whatever. I was yes. Yes, exactly. Danielle: Right. You were just done doing your chores, so you sat down. Gotcha. I think it's funny 'cause we also talked a lot about Sundays being the day of rest or the Sabbath being the day of rest, but maybe for example, because in that we were super involved in the church, so it was never really a day of rest for us. It was a day of volunteering, it was a day of childcare, it was a day of teaching, it was a day of all these things. So it's funny that We grew up with this idea that Sunday should be the day of rest, but really it was the day of rest for who? Victoria: Well, we would do all that in church and then go eat lunch and then go home to take a nap so that we could get up and do it again that Sunday night. Danielle: Yeah. Right, right. I mean as a day of rest. Pastors weren't resting for sure. Victoria: Right. Danielle: Worship team wasn't resting. But digress. Victoria: And I and I think it might have been confusing. I think about it now. Maybe it skewed the way that I think about rest because as we've discovered as we look at the word rest, it's not just one day that you're not doing anything, that Danielle: Mm-hmm. Victoria: you're not working, that you're not doing something that is not rest. And so it Danielle: Right. Victoria: is confusing. for me now that I think about it because rest is so much more than just one day of a week where I don't do as much as I do. actually Sunday to me was a day that you do for others. Danielle: Hm. Victoria: You're not resting. You're doing you're resting from doing anything for yourself. And you're Danielle: Interesting. Victoria: doing for others, but you're still not resting. Danielle: Just it's just that Chick-fil-A's closed, that's all. I mean, I still feel like I don't really know what rest is. Victoria: Yeah, I'm definitely learning what rest is. Danielle: Do you feel like you're allowed to rest? Victoria: I do now. I even in just the past week as we were thinking about this word and creating our outline around the word rest, the way that I think about rest has changed even in this short period of time. Danielle: Mm. Victoria: I understand its benefits are are are even more than that. I have a desire that I may not have been in touch with. I have a desire to rest that I was not aware of. Danielle: Mm. Victoria: Not only because I didn't quite understand rest as it pertains to me, but also that whole Should I say what GSD means? Okay. Danielle: Yeah. Victoria: some of you may know what GSD means. It means get shit done. And so Danielle: Get it done. Get her done. Victoria: Get her done. And so that's the mentality that I have had for many years. Get it done. Get it done. Get it done. And rest plays no part in that. Danielle: Right. Victoria: And really I put so much stress on myself that I'd ended up sick. And that's when Danielle: Mm. Victoria: I started being more mindful of I need to rest. My physical therapist, my pharmacist, my dietitian, and Justine, my therapist, so four people within a short matter of time, maybe two weeks, they all told me that I'm putting too much stress on myself. And I Danielle: Hm. Victoria: thought blah blah blah blah blah blah until I ended up with shingles. After I healed from the shingles, I ended up with Cellulitis. Danielle: Hm. Victoria: And so that was a wake-up call for me. And that's when I started thinking, okay, I need to take this rest thing seriously. My pharmacist said, Okay, you need to rest, but don't get stressed because you're not resting, because she knew I was gonna go to stress right away. right, exactly. Danielle: Right, Right, I'm not getting enough Right. Victoria: so I started doing yoga, mindfulness and meditation and making sure that I get to the YMCA more frequently to get my workouts in. And that has Danielle: Hmm. Victoria: given me the opportunity to be mindful of and be thinking about rest and the importance it is in my life. Danielle: Right. It's interesting that we talk about how rest is needed. how, you know, we need to, stress less and all this stuff. But I feel like sometimes resting just feels lazy to me. And I know that that's like such a flawed way of thinking, but Victoria: Mm-hmm. Danielle: sometimes I don't feel like I'm allowed to rest unless I've completed my task Victoria: Yes. Danielle: or like what is it, Idle Hands are the devil's playground or whatever. Like I just sometimes feel like I need to be doing something. and maybe this was like in my mind, when we were kids it was like, well if th you're bored, there's things that can be done. You know, there's you can do chores or you can finish your schoolwork or whatever. I don't know if that was actually verbally said to us or if that's just kind of the vibe that I was picking up. But even now I feel like I have to complete all my tasks in order to rest. And even once all my tasks are done, it's h really, really hard for me to just sit down and do nothing. Victoria: You say that's GSD mindset? Danielle: I think that's anxiety I don't know. I don't know. Victoria: Yeah. Danielle: there's that story, the Bible story of Mary and Martha and how Martha Victoria: Yeah. Danielle: was busily, busily working while Mary is whatever. the story about how yeah, how, Victoria: Right. Danielle: you know, Martha is busy preparing for Jesus to come and Mary is just sitting like enjoying his presence. And I, have my different opinions now, but it has always been a thing That I've thought about and I sometimes I think about that as an adult when I'm like rushing to get all my things done and I'm like, okay, I should just sit and be present, especially when I you know, I've been gone for a while and this is the first evening that I have to do nothing with my husband. It's just like, okay, I don't need to do all the things. I can just sit and do nothing with him. And that's really hard for me to to just do nothing. And I feel like I need to earn the rest but also it feels like it I I have to rest for something as opposed to just resting to rest. I don't know if that makes sense. Victoria: Yeah, I totally get it. Instead of just resting to rest, take a deep breath, just enjoy your life, just have some peaceful time. Right, right, exactly. Danielle: Because I'm allowed and there doesn't have to be a reason, it's just because I'm resting, yeah. that's hard for me to do. Victoria: I'm glad that you said that because at my age everything becomes a necessary action or thing to do because for for a person my age, I'm sixty six and It's to rest is regenerating my cells. and at my age that's something that I need. We all need it. Danielle: Well, I think I was gonna say I feel like it's something that we all need. So rest is important for all ages, right? But Victoria: Yeah, it it's important for all ages. I just feel like at my age, it's like I have got to accomplish this goal of rest for my health. so there there that G S D comes in again, but Rest improves Danielle: Your Victoria: your cognitive abilities. that's what I've heard. And so of course as I age, that's a goal of mine. I don't want to end up with a disease that's going to compromise my memory or my being Danielle: Right. Victoria: able to be logical or reason. so that's why rest it's not just something that I want to do, which I do. Danielle: Mm. Victoria: but before that want kicks in, I need to rest. I need to rest. Danielle: You wanna get everything done? You wanna finish your to do list? Same. No. Victoria: Yeah, so at my age, I feel like rest is no longer a luxury for me. It's a Danielle: Mm. Victoria: necessary, it's a Danielle: It's a necessity. Victoria: it's a necessity for me. Danielle: Yeah. Victoria: when I finally stop and think about rest, because of the fact that I believe it is a necessity, it doesn't take me long to remember that rest is important. Danielle: Mm-hmm. Victoria: And I'll check myself, like what am I doing at that moment when I remember that I need rest. Danielle: So like you're in the middle of something and sometimes the thought comes up, I need to rest. Mm. Victoria: Yes, I need to rest. Or making a decision not to go somewhere. Not Danielle: Mm. Victoria: to not to get in my car and drive to the grocery store today because right now I need to rest. Danielle: Right. Victoria: Right now I need to just go and sit outside in the sun. Right now I need to go and take a nap, which that kind of I haven't mastered that yet because I'm afraid if I take a nap during the middle of the day I won't be able to fall asleep at night. but I haven't really experimented with tools that can help me rest at night, I can fall asleep right after a hot shower and I s I take a hot shower right before bed so I don't know what my fear is that I won't be able to go to sleep, but Danielle: Right. Victoria: I don't want to ruin I I wanna have good numbers in the morning on my Apple Watch. I'm gonna have good sleep. I want my sleep score to be good. Danielle: Right. Good sleep numbers. You want your sleep score to be good? Yeah. I was talking to someone the other day about being lazy on my days off. Like we did two or three shows in a row plus travel and all that. And then I had a day off and I was like, Yeah, I didn't want to be lazy, so I got up and did something and someone's like, That's funny to think that you would be lazy after, working a hundred and twenty two of the last hundred and forty eight hours or whatever with the math maths too. Victoria: my yeah. Danielle: And he's like, you're you know, you're allowed to just do nothing because you you've been busy. Like it's not like you're being lazy, you don't have to make up for it. And I was like, LOL, no, I d I have to do something in order to to be lazy, but it's one, interesting that some people have such a healthy relationship with rest I envy my husband because I feel like he can rest so hard. He can shut everything else out and just be like, today's a day that we don't need to do anything because we have been running nonstop and that is so hard for me to do and it's like I finally have a day off and I'm like, Okay, I have a day off from work. What have I been neglecting at the house for the last month? And then I'm like, I'm not resting. now doing all my house projects, which sometimes feels relaxing but it's not rest. And I sometimes get the two of those confused. just because something's relaxing doesn't necessarily mean that it's resting. Victoria: How would you say that you teach Mira to rest? Or do you? Danielle: You know, Cory's really good at teaching her to rest. we sometimes do we'll do like siestas where it's okay, you you're just gonna take it easy. And I think Cory tries to protect that because he does realize how busy her schedule is. She's got school, she's got church, she's got piano lessons. And so I think that he is really good about trying to protect that. Like today we're not really gonna do anything, we're just gonna take it easy. and she's a tired girl, so y you know, too much stuff going on and she's having a hard time staying awake, but he recognizes that and he's really good at trying to protect that. I'm not so good at trying to teach her rest, besides, hey it's time to take a break because you've been on a hundred all day but that's different. That's different than, this is important for your body. I feel like it also takes me such a long time to just settle in. Like I have to Corey calls it nesting we have a house cleaner sometimes and so she'll come over and clean the house and then I'll get home from the road and I feel like I have to clean the house because it just kind of like I feel like it helps me settle in but then it becomes a task and then I'm like doing all these things before I can just settle in. So I feel like it it takes a long time for me to to settle and to actually be able to rest. And I think that's probably because I just don't prioritize rest the way that I should. I don't know. It's just interesting my my unhealthy relationship with rest. I don't know why it's so I love to sleep, don't get me wrong. I can sleep anywhere, but Victoria: Mm-hmm. Now let me ask you, when you come home do you empty your luggage, wash everything, and put it away before you feel like you can rest from your time on the road? Danielle: Yeah. It depends. Sometimes I'm just living out of a suitcase and maybe that's part of it where I feel like I I am unable to rest, because there's a bunch of stuff that needs to be done. Maybe that's part of it. I'm not I don't really have time to rest because this isn't really a break, I'm every Wednesday either flying or getting on a bus and I'm home every Sunday and so it kind of feels pointless to really get settled at home because I'm about to be gone and maybe that's part of it where I feel like I'm about to leave again so I can't really rest because things are still in motion. Time is still in motion and maybe that's what it is, where it's like there's still things that can be done that need to be done. So I don't know. It's hard for me to settle in. I feel like I maybe need to identify the rest that would actually be helpful for me because I don't know that taking time to do nothing would make me feel good. That makes sense. I d I feel like it would just increase my anxiety and so Maybe it's not like physical rest, maybe it's like social rest that I need or emotional rest. I feel like rest for me would be not having to make a single decision about anything. Because I have to make decisions on the road, I have to answer people's questions, I have to be around people all the time and so to be able to come home and not have to think about anything and all my meals be planned and you know, all of that, like that would be True rest for me. less about sleep and not doing anything and more about not having to use my brain. you were saying you need to just kind of chill out and not do anything and not stress, and so maybe mental and physical, is that the kind of rest that you feel like maybe best serves you? Victoria: Yes, definitely. Mental and physical. I do like to socialize. there's a group of women in my community that we get together most weekdays but even sometimes now that I think about it and I'm talking about it even sometimes that may not be restful. It I think it depends on what Danielle: Mm-hmm. Victoria: the conversation is about. If it's if I'm going to feel rested after my interaction with them. however I Danielle: Yeah. Victoria: do enjoy sitting with them and and and talking with them and learning about them. I do feel rested. during our interaction. Danielle: Mm-hmm. Victoria: So yeah, definitely physical and most importantly for me is mental because I think Danielle: Yeah. Victoria: once I get the mental rest that reduces the anxiety that I may feel. Danielle: Mm mm. Victoria: And for me, those are the most important things, the physical and the mental rest. Danielle: Yeah. it's interesting that we have different needs for rest. Like you're saying sometimes hanging out with the ladies at the bistro feels restful to you, right? Where Victoria: Yes. Danielle: I'm like, if I need rest that just seems like it would be exhausting. But also my job is around people all the time. It's hard for me to get any time by myself. So resting for me looks like not being around anybody ever. I mean like not ever, but like Victoria: Yeah. Danielle: like besides my husband and my child. And even that sometimes is not restful, you know. God bless him. Victoria: Right. Right. Danielle: But yeah, it's Victoria: Yeah. And and it's funny that you say that because I don't have a husband and a small child. And Danielle: Yeah. Victoria: I still feel Like I need rest. Even it life can be exhausting. Yeah. Danielle: Right. Well, because life is exhausting in general, besides besides a husband and child, but Victoria: Life can be exhausting. And especially Danielle: Yeah. Victoria: so I am retired, and but for 40 years my career was all about customer service, serving others. And now that I don't have all that, now that I don't have that responsibility. there are other things that I want to do in my life. I'm an a notary and I want to officiate weddings and elopements. I want to narrate children's books. I myself am writing a book. And so With all of those things on my to-do list, sometimes Danielle: Mm-hmm. Victoria: I find it difficult to rest because I've always I've got something to do, I've got something to do. I need to write out a contract, I need to work on a website, I need to put in an audition, you know, and so it kind of those kind of things, although I truly enjoy that and I'm excited that it's a new part of my life, those things kind of hinder me from rest. I'm thinking about yeah Danielle: From resting. Victoria: and but I'm thinking about it now. I think if I stuck to a schedule and Danielle: Mm-hmm. Victoria: accomplished the task that I have for each of those dreams, that in itself would have a positive effect on me mentally. Danielle: Mm-hmm. Victoria: And so I don't know if I am cheating by considering those things rest. I don't know. Danielle: Yeah. Victoria: I need to rest to show up for myself. Danielle: I feel like I can show up for people better once I have some rest, including my family, just trying to find that balance between resting for me because it's what I need to do, resting so I can show up for my family. another thing that's hard for me is am I avoiding something by resting? Or Am I resting because I really need rest? Sometimes I'm procrastinating and I'm like, mm, today would be a good day to just I don't know, stay in bed. And it's like, yeah, but today is actually the day that you need to get everything done. And so I guess maybe finding the balance between resting when necessary, GSD when necessary, And then making sure that I'm not resting just to avoid or resting as a form of procrastination. Victoria: Yeah. Yeah, I do that quite a bit. trying to get away from that. I'm working to get away from that. Danielle: Yeah. Victoria: rest is different for each person and what Danielle: Yeah. Victoria: I would consider rest, you would not consider rest. one of the things I know we talked about going to the library to transfer my VHS tapes to a flash drive. Danielle: Mm-hmm. Victoria: And I'm thinking that would be so restful and just a relaxing thing to do with my daughter and going. Danielle: Daughter cannot relate. Victoria: And you had stated that that would not be restful for you. Danielle: That would not be restful for me. That would actually probably I mean I don't know if any of y'all have to teach your parents technology. But it's it's it's not restful. It's not. I that would not be restful for me. I'm sorry. She's like, Yeah, it would be so restful. We can Yeah. Victoria: Sorry, not sorry. Danielle: I'm like, I don't know if you know that teaching technology is actually not easy and anyone have you ever seen an IT guy? Victoria: Yeah. The one who looks crazed. Yeah. Pulling it out. Danielle: Yes. His hair has all been pulled out because he's been telling people telling people how to power on their PCs all day, you know? He's like, I have a whole project I'm working on that I'm trying to teach you how to turn your computer. Anyways. Victoria: Yeah. Danielle: yeah, it would not be but I do think that there is value in like resting together. And my best friend Vinay and I, shout out Vinae. Hi. we love to do nothing together. It's like one of our favorite things to do. We will eat snacks, we will chit chat, maybe, we'll watch something, probably. We might read a book together, at the same time, but separately. and that's, really restful to just be able to be with a person who I don't really need to do anything with. Victoria: Yeah. And Danielle: I can just be I can just be alone in her presence. Victoria: I could see where that would take work for a parent and their adult child. Because I wouldn't say that I would be thinking that I need to be teaching or showing or demonstrating or anything like that, but would our silence B Danielle: Would it feel awkward? Victoria: Would it feel awkward? Danielle: I think sometimes we get in the mind space of well, we're together, so we gotta make the most of this time. But sometimes Victoria: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Danielle: sometimes we can just do nothing together and it'd be okay. And it's not Victoria: Yeah. Danielle: being lazy, it's not, being unmotivated, sometimes it's just resting and sometimes it's nice to rest with people who you love and it doesn't it's Victoria: Yeah. Danielle: not anything other than that. Victoria: Our lifestyles are so different right now, it would probably take some thought for us to figure out how to rest together. Danielle: Yeah. Especially since you think resting is going to the library and doing your VHS tapes. Victoria: And there's the beach and there's France. Danielle: Yes. Victoria: Now see that that's restful for you. Danielle's doing a coloring book, one of those where you color by numbers. That Danielle: But yeah. Victoria: would not be restful at all for me. That would cause me so much Danielle: No. You wouldn't? Victoria: anxiety, I wouldn't be able to handle it. Danielle: It's so restful for me. It's actually I've been you guys can't see, but I've been, I color now when we're doing our podcast because it actually helps me to pay attention more, which is like weird because I know I'm not looking at you, but I'm like able to think about what you're saying a little bit better I don't know what the science behind it is, but it actually helps me to like lock in a little bit more when I am coloring while we're while we're recording. Victoria: wow. Danielle: Maybe it's one of those things that I can't rest, so my brain is like, You're just sitting here, can you be doing something else while you're just sitting here? Victoria: Yeah, and that whole thing just really I mean it I doesn't cause me anxiety, but I know. I've tried to do the coloring books and I just can't handle it. Just can't handle it. I've also tried Danielle: Doesn't work? Yeah, that's alright. Victoria: to do puzzles. I'm trying, but I Danielle: Try needy puzzles. Victoria: I'm trying to do puzzles, but I I just don't know if I can handle it. Danielle: Yeah. Victoria: I play Scrabble. I love to play Scrabble. You guys know I love words. And so there's a couple of women here in my community where we get together every once in a while and we play Scrabble and just love it. It's so relaxing coming up with the words and shuffling the tiles and making words and looking at these seven tiles and not seeing a word and then moving them around and then Danielle: No. Victoria: I got a 100 point word and you know so so Danielle: Wow. Victoria: that's relaxing for me, but I don't know how that would be for you. I mean you grew up playing Scrabble, so I don't know, you might feel the same, but I don't. Danielle: It wouldn't not be relaxing, but it's probably not like the first thing that I'd like, yeah, let's play Scrabble so I can relax. Victoria: Yeah. yeah, so each person does have a way of relaxing. And we would love to hear what you do to relax. Do you relax with your adult child? do you relax with your parent? Danielle: Yeah, definitely. I if we understand how the people that we love relax. I think there's something like my best friend and I when we do nothing together, there's something that like I just feel so connected to her because we do nothing together. And I know that that's weird, but we get to like just be in each other's presence and not feel like the other is sucking energy from us or that it's requiring energy. I think that's what it comes down to. For me, relaxing cannot take any energy. So the energy that it takes to do the VHS at the library, that's not relaxing because it does take a lot of energy. I have to get up, I have to get dressed, I have to go to the library, I have to figure out how to do it. I have to, find the tapes that we it's just a lot of energy, mental energy, where Just hanging out with Benet and doing nothing takes zero energy. so understanding how people that we love relax will hopefully open up opportunities for us to relax together in the same space and not feel like we're an energy suck from one another. Victoria: I think it would be odd or a bit uncomfortable for you and I to attempt to relax and I'm gonna look up the word relax in a minute, or to rest Danielle: Mm-hmm. Victoria: together. And I think about when you and Terrence were children, I mean we used relax and rest together all the time. and so I don't know if that's something that we can rekindle or if that's just that's gone. Danielle: Mm. Victoria: but yeah that it was so normal and comfortable Danielle: Yeah. Victoria: in a way that is not currently Danielle: yeah. I don't know, why d why have we gotten to the point where we can't just rest together? I mean now we're understanding each other's definitions and I guess it all comes down to like what what do I need to rest? What do you need to rest? Because they're two different things and so how can we find ways to rest together? Victoria: And it also because life has gotten busy. I Danielle: Yeah. Victoria: mean, when you were a kid, like what life wasn't busy. I mean, there were things that you did. Yeah, there were things that you did, but Danielle: Nah, nah, nah, nah. Victoria: it's like we have to make appointments to relax and rest together. Danielle: Right. Victoria: It's well we have to be intentional about it. I guess it's not about and maybe that does mean making an appointment, but we have to be intentional about wanting to. Danielle: Protecting I think we have to be intentional about protecting rest. Victoria: yeah. Well, thank you so much for joining us today on the Golden Chronicles podcast as we had a discussion and a conversation about rest and we would love to hear from you. how do you rest? How do you relax? Danielle: Yeah. What does it look like for you? How do you turn everything else off and just take it easy, take a load off. Victoria: Right. So those are the two words that we want to leave with you. Rest and relaxation. Danielle: Please share with us your tips 'cause clearly this girl is struggling on the struggle bus over Victoria: Yeah. Danielle: here. thanks for joining us in this conversation. No, it's like kind of a little bit away from our normal kind of podcasting, but I think that we're really enjoying just getting to talk about the things that are on our mind and getting to learn together. So thanks for supporting us. Thanks for cheering us on. Until next time. Bye. Victoria: Yes, yes. Yes. Bye. Bye. Danielle: Until next time. Bye.