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5-MINUTE FRIDAY: Please Don't Squash Your Feelings · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, Emily and Badi here you are listening to
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: five Minute Friday on Hurdle My heart right now. I
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: am heartbroken watching from afar what's going on in Los Angeles,
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: and I am sending so much love to the West
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: Coast knowing that there are so many people I know
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: and love that have been impacted by these fires. I
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: also know that it's the second biggest market for Hurdle,
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: and many of you listening to this right now are
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: located on the West Coast as well, And so I
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: want you to know that I'm with you, that I'm
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  Speaker 1: thinking of you. I feel helpless, but I know that
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: there are certain things that I can do, like listing
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  Speaker 1: resources in the newsletter that went out this morning. If
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: you're not yet subscribed to the weekly Hurdle newsletter, you
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: can do that by clicking on over to the show notes.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: So yeah, sharing those resources, also resharing things on social
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  Speaker 1: that I feel like are relevant and helpful as well.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: In the newsletter today, I put this post from a
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: friend Liz that she shared and it was talking about
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: how to show up for someone. Her tips include checking
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  Speaker 1: in frequently, avoid generic advice, don't minimize, offer to help,
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  Speaker 1: practical assistance, provide food, and gather donations. And what I
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  Speaker 1: want to talk about today is that don't minimize tip
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  Speaker 1: because I, like many of you, I am sure am
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  Speaker 1: someone that likes to be an optimist. But it is
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  Speaker 1: so important to feel your feelings, whether we are talking
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: about this in real to what is going on in
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  Speaker 1: California or not. Right, we don't work hard in life.
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  Speaker 1: We don't go through life expecting necessarily to fail or
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  Speaker 1: for things not to go as we had hoped, and
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  Speaker 1: especially during something that is so unexpected, so unprecedented, it
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  Speaker 1: is natural to feel so many ways. There can be
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  Speaker 1: so much pressure to ask yourself what's next, to keep
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: moving forward. And while yes, I do believe in the
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  Speaker 1: power of picking yourself up and progressing, the feeling is
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  Speaker 1: just as important. Because when we don't stop to process,
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  Speaker 1: when we don't stop to ask ourselves how am I doing? Really,
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  Speaker 1: that's when things get sticky, right, That's when you neglect
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  Speaker 1: what needs to be navigated, what needs to be processed,
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  Speaker 1: what needs to be felt so that you can move
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  Speaker 1: forward word in the right way at the right time.
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  Speaker 1: Feel your feelings. Allow your loved ones to feel their
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  Speaker 1: feelings too, regardless of your opinion on someone's circumstance saying
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  Speaker 1: something and going back to the reference of the fires,
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  Speaker 1: at least no one was hurt or everything happens for
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  Speaker 1: a reason. These aren't helpful things to hear after a
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  Speaker 1: traumatic experience, not right in the aftermath. Right. There might
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: be a period of time down the road when we
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: can have those conversations. But again, whether it is within
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  Speaker 1: this example or in other areas of life, trauma happens
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  Speaker 1: and you need to process it. You need to give
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  Speaker 1: that permission, either to yourself or to others. It's okay
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: not to be okay. And that's what I feel strongly
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: about speaking on this week. Again, those resources are in
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: the Weekly Hurdle. I hope that you're subscribed. I hope
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  Speaker 1: that it helps a little bit. At least I see
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: you and I feel for you, and again, my heart
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  Speaker 1: is with you wherever you are, whatever you're going through,
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  Speaker 1: you don't have to be alone. Rather than a prompt
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  Speaker 1: this week, I'm going to jump directly into a listener question. Hey, Emily,
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  Speaker 1: I'm Praya. I've been a longtime listener of your podcast
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: and I love your show. Your five minute Fridays are
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  Speaker 1: my favorite. I love how you keep it real and
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  Speaker 1: I love following along with your journey on your Instagram stories.
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  Speaker 1: My question for you is I struggle with consistently showing
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  Speaker 1: up for myself. I know you say where there's a why,
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  Speaker 1: there's a way, and I love it, but I just
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: can't seem to stick with my why. Does that make sense?
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  Speaker 1: Can you help me with staying consistent and remembering my why?
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  Speaker 1: Is there anything you can do regularly to stay in
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  Speaker 1: touch with your why? I know you're really consistent with
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  Speaker 1: your journaling, but still, anything you can tell me for inspiration,
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  Speaker 1: I'd really appreciate it all. My love, Praya, This is
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  Speaker 1: a good one, and I understand right because sometimes we
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  Speaker 1: can have a strong why, but we just can't put
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  Speaker 1: it all together. I have certain been there myself, and
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: in the moments where my why doesn't feel like enough
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  Speaker 1: of an anchor for me, I will say that that's
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: when you call in your support system. That's when you
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: instill other routines to help you get to where you
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  Speaker 1: want to go. So for the support system, maybe it's
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: reaching out to a friend and having an accountability partner.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: And I don't just mean that in the sense of
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  Speaker 1: having an accountability partner for something like moving your body.
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  Speaker 1: But if there's something that is a priority for you,
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  Speaker 1: like you really want to get a promotion at work
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  Speaker 1: this year, it starts with outlining the steps that that
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  Speaker 1: may require, and then talking to someone about this process,
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  Speaker 1: about your why. Sometimes it's not just enough to write
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  Speaker 1: it down. It's vocalizing what's important to you and putting
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  Speaker 1: it into the universe. And the great thing about leaning
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  Speaker 1: into a support system is that then you'll have someone
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  Speaker 1: to help you again stay accountable. You can ask of
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  Speaker 1: this person, Hi, it would mean so much to me
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  Speaker 1: if in a month or two months, depending on your
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  Speaker 1: goal and your time line, if you can make sure
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: to check back in with me on this, and then
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  Speaker 1: both of you put that check in on your calendar
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  Speaker 1: like it's an important work meeting. Beyond this, I would
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  Speaker 1: recommend perhaps instilling some sort of a reward system into practice. Right, So,
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  Speaker 1: if there's something that you're going after and you find
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  Speaker 1: yourself now and then falling off the bandwagon, you can
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  Speaker 1: have small things that entice you to stick with it.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe that's depositing fifty dollars for every week you stick
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  Speaker 1: to Plan X into your bank account, and so that
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  Speaker 1: by the end of the month, you have two hundred
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  Speaker 1: dollars and that goes into your personal version of what
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  Speaker 1: I like to call my italy fun. Or perhaps you've
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  Speaker 1: sworn off buying coffee all year because you want to
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  Speaker 1: be better about budgeting, and you allow yourself on Fridays
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  Speaker 1: to treat yourself to that one purchase out knowing that
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  Speaker 1: you are on your way to your big goals. Both
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: the accountability buddy and the celebrating the small milestones along
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: the way rewarding yourself. Both of these things are going
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  Speaker 1: to help you in the long haul, I promise you,
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  Speaker 1: when you're having difficulty really zeroing in constantly on that why.
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  Speaker 1: The last thing I will say here is make sure
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  Speaker 1: that the goals that you are setting, even if you
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  Speaker 1: do have a strong why, that they are in line
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  Speaker 1: with your values. Because you want to be in pursuit
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  Speaker 1: of the things that are in alignment with who it
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  Speaker 1: is at your core. And if you don't really have
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: a vested personal interest in something like your finances, then
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  Speaker 1: it's going to be challenging to go after a finance goal.
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  Speaker 1: I'm not saying that it's impossible, but I am just
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  Speaker 1: saying that's when you know you really need to pull
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  Speaker 1: out all of the stops. That's when things like a
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: support system and small rewards along the way are going
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  Speaker 1: to work in tandem with your why to get you
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  Speaker 1: to where you want to be. I hope this helps.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: I'm over on Instagram at Emily a Body and also
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: at Hurdle Podcast Another hurdle conquered, thinking of you all.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Catch you guys next time.